Cracked Articles

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GorillaGamer
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Cracked Articles

Post by GorillaGamer » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:05 am

I have a love/hate relationship with Cracked. On one hand, they can post some fascinating articles, going into detail about unsolved mysteries, creepy places, and all sorts of interesting stuff. On the other hand, since the website and several of it's prominent article writers are left-leaning, some of their political/social articles are PAINFUL to read.

So I figured that I'd make a topic where we can post links to our favorite articles on Cracked, as well as laugh at all the shitty articles. I'll start things off by providing two links that go into detail about some unsolved crimes.

Part 1:http://www.cracked.com/article_24084_11 ... rders.html

Part 2:http://www.cracked.com/article_24405_th ... art-2.html
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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GorillaGamer
Posts: 229
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:44 pm
Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat May 13, 2017 9:38 pm

Sorry for the double post, but I found a stupid Cracked article, that can be summed up as "These movies/shows suck, and are not as good as you think they are. I'm going to trash talk them, but please be civil in the comments, even though outrage is how we get views."

Link: http://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-693-2 ... -they-get/
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

KingMan
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:20 pm

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by KingMan » Sat May 13, 2017 11:45 pm

^ Is it me, or did they pussy out when it came to picking Get Out as the Number 1 spot?

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GorillaGamer
Posts: 229
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:44 pm
Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by GorillaGamer » Tue May 16, 2017 2:00 am

I haven't seen Get Out, so I can't say whether they pussied out or not.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

User avatar
GorillaGamer
Posts: 229
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:44 pm
Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:23 am

Sorry for the double post, but a writer for Cracked put in their two cents on the whole 'women-only' Wonder Woman screenings. And based from that sentence alone, you already know where this is going.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/brovaries-t ... man-movie/
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

KingMan
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:20 pm

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by KingMan » Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:08 pm

So protest on, man-friends. Do it for the Gipper, if you for some reason know me as the Gipper. Because I am lost to you now. I have to trade in my testicles for a smaller, less robust pair that come with a matching clutch.
So, he's going the Brianna Wu route.

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GorillaGamer
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Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:39 pm

I'm sorry, but after reading the article again, I have to mock some of the more cringeworthy parts, so bear with me...
You know what I wonder about Wonder Woman? When did the estrogenocide begin, and how come we got no advanced warning? A pox! A pox on those cervixecutioners and their fallopian agenda! My (male) God, save yourselves! Save your boys and your grandfathers! Save the weird uncle who tells inappropriate stories. Save Dad's collection of vintage Playboys. The women are coming! And not in the PornHub way!
Yes fellow men, the femapocalypse is coming! Hide all your video games and anime porn and fortify your impenetrable basement!
I saw Wonder Woman, a film about a superhero who is a woman (unlike a man), and I am shook.
You mean that *gasp!* Wonder Woman is a woman? I never knew that.
Now that we're alone, I can warn you: Wonder Woman isn't about kickass World War I soldiers and their gal pal. It's about a kickass gal and her World War I buddies. The men ... they're ... secondary characters!
Oh no! The men are secondary characters. This is completely...acceptable to be honest. I will admit that I'm disappointing that it was set in WW1. I was hoping to see Wonder Woman punch Hitler right in front of Captain America.
There were cheers when Wonder Woman leapt into the fray and fought men. Penis-having men! And she won! Pretty easily!
As opposed to those men that don't have penises. They usually write articles like this one on sites such as Buzzfeed and Cracked.
Hopefully, the director's cut explains even a fraction of the otherwise-gaping plot holes. Like, how is there an island of just women, yet it's covered in statues and stone buildings and there are numerous weapons? Who made all that stuff?
Aliens.
Because I, dear male reader, thought Wonder Woman was pretty awesome. I felt my own ovaries, ever so faintly, flutter during the action scenes. I felt like it was just a good movie instead of a good lady movie.
A man with ovaries as well? Guys, I figured out who wrote this article; Bart Simpson.

And that's the riffing of one of Cracked's most painfully unfunny articles, done by yours truly. What gets me is that the author is assuming that the people complaining about the 'woman-only'screenings hated the movie, because the main character was a woman. Never mind the fact that the problem not the movie, but what the Alamo Showhouse did, as a way to generate outrage they can profit from, virtually everyone I've seen only have been praising the movie, saying that it's the best movie in the DCEU.

Oh and one more thing, as expected from a Cracked article like this, the comments section are absolutely cancerous.

Did you like the riffing? Because if so, I can do more of these.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

KingMan
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:20 pm

Re: Cracked Articles

Post by KingMan » Mon Jun 05, 2017 10:55 am

I thought the mock was good. I'd like to see more.

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Yaoi Huntress Earth
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Re: Cracked Articles

Post by Yaoi Huntress Earth » Wed Nov 29, 2017 7:36 pm

"Lying: It's the responsible thing to do."-Louie, Ducktales (2017)

Ensulge
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Joined: Mon Jun 17, 2019 12:11 pm
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Cracked Articles

Post by Ensulge » Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:29 am

how long would be considered "a while"? had dry cracked skin for about 6 months but its only recently started cracking & getting these weird bump things.

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