Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

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Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Sep 09, 2018 10:30 am

Well, while I'm working on brushing up on the content of some of my old mocks, where new chapters have cropped up, I'll be taking on this thing.

Okay, jumping into this relatively blind, I'm only half certain that this is even mockable. A first glance deems this to be utter trash. A curious investigation led me through the author's DeviantArt profile, and I learnt more than I know how to deal with. hubworld33, as he calls himself on fanfiction.net, is a weird case for me. Crappy free-drawn Paint images with what I think are supposed to be recognizable shapes. Photos of the author holding up even worse pencil drawings on lined paper. A favorite list filled with various vore and foot fetish art. A profile journal chronicling various hobby projects, such as shitshow GameMaker games, fan-comic dub casting requests, and homemade anti-bullying PSAs starring his OC blob Mazz Jackrabbit rescuing anime dress-up avatars - I think. The cringe and threat of YouTube algorithms branding me for the incomprehensible knowledge I would further glean, made me stop my bile fascination at that point.

I am left very confused, to say the least. All this guy has produced tells of the approach of an eight-year-old without a filter after just discovering the Internet, yet his voice and what little can be glanced of features tells of an older teen. I am only here to mock the fanfic, I reassure you, but I feel the need to lay all that I know on the table, because otherwise this entire thing comes across as a troll-fic bordering on crack parody. But method acting like this can't even be found in the most pretentious venue in all of Hollywood. Audio, images, YouTube longplays, comment conversations, fetish fanfics, screencaps of his mailed conversations with Nintendo of requests for Daisy to get her own game, with all of it having at max a three year track record, and I fear we could have a new, future ChrisChan on our hands with this clusterfuck. Maybe his heart is in the right place, and his hobbies harmless, but the lack of quality is astounding. You'll see soon enough. But enough of that, on to the victim rather than the perpetrator.

Shantae. A cute and determined half-genie belly dancer, the defender of Scuttle Town and savior of Sequin Land. A literal Arabian Nights style heroine, able to attack with hair-whipping and by transforming into various animal and monster shapes to save the day, while the metroid-vania style games skirt the high end of a teen rating with fourth wall leaning humor and occasionally littering of fetish fuel implicated situations. How does bikini-clad girls bathing in saliva sound? Anyway, I rather like the series, having played all the main ones, though finding it a headscratcher to figure out the loose storyline and lore reboots with the recent entry. In any case, I think this fanfic won't accomplish much to impress me, ergo the reason that I decided to post this mock and continue it. Ret-2-Go. Here's Chapter 1, Connie & Lucky Meets Shantae!

One beautiful Morning in KidsLand Connie and her sister Lucky were finding something to do...

What's KidsLand and who are these people you may ask? Beats me. Connie and Lucky are OCs, that much I know. KidsLand, however, as my sad but only guess, is probably the setting for a special-eds video program local to wherever the author lives, because Google has turned up bubkiss.

We then cut to Connie & Lucky's Treehouse!

Lucky: *While playing with dolls* "Hi, sis, watcha wanna do?"

Connie: *Lays on the couch due to boredom.*

Trust me when I say this, this is the best part of this fanfic, both plot and narration-wise.

Connie: I don't know lucky...

Connie: I wonder what's on tv today?

Then they hear attacking from the outside!

Lucky: What's that noise?

Well, obviously it's the easily recognizable sound of attacking, like the author pointed out, Lucky. Dig that that couch cushion out of your ear.

Connie: I don't know but lets find out come on Luck let's Roll!

Lucky: Right behind ya!

As the 2 Siblings go outside they notice a big Giant Robot in there way!

Connie: Out of our way Metal head!:(

Twelve lines in and we are already lower in coherency than the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, how the fuck is that even possible?

Lucky: And who are you supposed to be?

?: I'm Vixon! And that will not be happening Connie!

Connie: How do you know our names?

Vixon: Please i know all your names. Well i'm off got places to be stuff to destroy... See Ya! Then he opens a portal to another dimension!

"I know your names, because I just do, and now excuse me, I'm off to be a one-dimensional bad guy after having made you notice I exist."

Both: GET BACK HERE!:(! Then both Connie and Lucky chase after him!

Vixon: Later Suckers! He said before he went in the portal. Then he left!

Lucky: We gotta catch up to him.!

Connie: Your right Sis We gotta catch up to him! What about Lanky?

Last I checked, he was doing fine with the rest of the DK Crew, why, oh why, do you ask?

Lucky: Don't Worry i stick a note on his door.

In Lanky's Room!

Lanky: Is Playing Banjo Kazooie on his N64...

Lanky: Alright i got the Wonderwing Die Enemies!

That's a bit anachronistic a statement for a power you get in a location with no enemies to reasonably use it on, while it guzzles its rare feathers at an alarming rate, don't you think?

Lucky: So we shouldn't worry.

Connie: That's Good in that case let's Go!

Lucky: Gotcha! Let's go! 1...

Connie: 2...

Both: THREEE!

Then both of the two sisters jump inside the portal...

Both: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!:-O

Well, sticking around KidsLand would probably risk running into more of the author's original creations, so going straight to Sequin Land is honestly a blessing.

As two of the girls keep falling and spinning Lucky begins to feel sick!

Lucky: Feels Nacuces Ugh.. Then she takes some Pills. That's better.

Random pills you happen to have stored up your butt are sure to cure Nacuces. I guess this is what counts as conflict, to the author.

Both: They continue falling until

THUMP! They Crashed!

Lucky: Slowly opens her eyes Ugh... Then she blink her eyes what happ... !

Lucky: Sis? Sis!

Connie: Still Knockout from the fall!

Speak a little louder, Connie, maybe the author's butchered script-format can reassure Lucky that you are alright.

Lucky: Wake up Thinks... Ding! I got It!

Lucky: Shen then smacks her tail at Connie Face!

Her tail? You'd might think with my research I knew about this, but for all the author's DeviantArt channel gushing over his OCs, they are never described, visually or otherwise.

Connie: Agh! What who...!

Connie: Luck where are we? Are we in SCUTTLE TOWN?!O.O

Lucky: Yep it looks like where in Shantae's World! She said in a calm tone.

It's almost like I'm right there with them, looking in the opposite direction of reality.

Both: This is Awsome!

Connie: This where Shantae lives.

Lucky: And Beat Riskey boots butt!

Both: And Defeated the Pirate Master!

Alright, by complete accident as far as I can tell, the author had these fangirls actually establish a timeline, which will probably make everything even worse.

Lucky: I Need her Autograph! Then she was pulled back by her Sister!

Connie: We gotta find Vixon first rember?

Lucky: Oh Right! I forgot.

Connie: Don't worry will find her. But first weve got a villian on our hands.

Lucky: Uses her tail as a Metal detector. Both of the girls find vixon!

Because that's how tails work, of course - WHAT?!

While Vixion and his minions...

Kidnaps the Citizens

Trows the Mayor in the Ocean in a Whale!

Robbs everything litterly including all of the food!

Guys, I have barely any clue as to what's going on and it's FUCKING HILARIOUS!!

Vicon: HURRY UP YOU FOOLS WEVE GOT ONE MORE THING TO DO KILLING THE HALF GENIE AND HER UNCLE!๐Ÿ˜ˆ Then he does the Cut head off Gusture!

He's trying to signal the director to cut this horrible scene already.

Meanwhile in Uncle Mimic's Lab!

Shantae: Uh Uncle are you sure it is a good idea it looks kinda dangerous.

Mimic: I'll be fine Let's Begin!

Shantae: If you say so... She then turns on the Switch and begins the Machine!

Mimic: Uses thinking machine... it works It!... then gets zapped and then Machince Explodes! Huff Dosen't Work!

Everything is written as if the author's two brain halves are fighting each other, alternating between every possible wrong way to phrase and structure the dialogue and descriptions.

Shantae: Oh My Gosh! Uncle are you ok?

Mimic: Yes Shantae i'm...

Vixon: Hits Mimic really hard to a wall! And then vixon attacks him! While his Minions steals his lab eqiumpment!

While the narration gets even more stilted!

SHANTAE: HEY STOP THAT! THEN BEATS THE MINONS WITH HER HAIR!

Vixon: Grabs her hair and trows her across the room.

Shantae: Woosliy ugh...

Lucky: Attacks vixon with her tail!

Vixon: Ow! What the-

Connie: Uses Emblem of fire to fire [No pun intended] at Vixon!

That's not how puns work, you scatter-brain, and you could use any other word if that had been the case.

Vixon: Agh! Both knocks them back with a single punch!

Both: Ugh...

Vixon: He then escapes with his Minions!

Lucky: Boy what a fight.

Connie: Yeah i'm surpried we survived that fight.

"We came out of nowhere and got punched once before the villain ran away. Clearly this was a challenge of our skills that we barely passed!"ร‚ย

Lucky: Sis look it's Shantae!

Connie: OMG! Then they both get closer to see she's on the floor!

Lucky: Spills Water on her face to wake her Up!

Shantae: Ugh... What happend?

Lucky: You were Knockout cold!

Connie: And we were waking you up.

And this author was trying to write a fanfic, I think.

Shantae: That figures. Rubs her head... Anyway who are you two?

Connie: I'm Connie and this is my sister Lucky!

Lucky: Hi!

Shantae: Hi Connie hello Lucky im...

Both: Your Shantae!

Shantae: That's right.

Connie We Really love your games!

Lucky: MMMhmm!

Shantae: Ah fans of my franchise i see.

There comes a time where meta-humor acknowledgement has its limits, author. Especially when you have fictional characters meet people of the games they play.

Both: Yep!

Shantae: Anyhoo Who was that? She asked.

Connie: That was Vixon and we are trying to find him.

Lucky: Have you seen him?

Seen him, you ask? She was knocked out by him. That just happened. You were there!!

Shantae: Yup. He ran off destyoying my Uncle's Lab and my Remembers Something!

Shantae: MY UNCLE! RUNS TO HER UNCLE!

Shantae: Uncle Wake up Pleese wake up. begins to tears up pleese Uncle Wake Up Pleese!

Mimic: He Dosen't respone!

Shantae: NO IM TOO LATE! HE'S GONE! Begins to Cry!

Wow, one chapter in and the fanfic's title has already lost all meaning.

Connie: Hey Hey Hey. Don't cry Shantae. It'll be alright.

Lucky: Yeah conforts her.

Her uncle is dead! Unless you are suggesting you have Rottytops bite the corpse and make him a zombie, exactly what do you think saying "It'll be alright" will accomplish?!

SHANTAE: NO I WON'T AND IT'S ALL THEN TURN INTO NEGA SHANTAE! AND I'M GONNA KILL HIM!:(

Connie: Grabs her Woah Shantae Calm Down!

Lucky: Yeah will save him we promise! She Said!

Shantae: Tranforms back to normal! Your right you two i'm sorry it's just that..

Connie: We know Shantae we know.

Image

While we are in the 'lore reboot' territory I mentioned before, Nega Shantae is not an alter ego that Shantae can just turn into. Nega Shantae has never even been name-dropped in this universe, only getting it from promotional material for the latest game. In first appearance, she was an unnamed final boss clone of Shantae made from her genie-half being extracted from her and then destroyed. In latest appearance, Nega Shantae is merely a personality manifested by Shantae getting all of her magic transformed from good to evil, in where the power of friendship was used to turn her back. Implying - because that's the only way your narration works, author - that Shantae can just flip between the two personalities is outrageously stupid.

Lucky: Her Emblem rings then shows the thunder Queen through a Projection Screen! Hi Your Majasy

Thunder Queen: Hello Lucky hi Connie

Connie: Hiya!

Thunder Queen: Omg! Are you Shantae i'm a real big fan of yours!

Oh, sweet merciful fuck, how many more thumb-sucking airheads will this author have introduced by the end of this?

Shantae: Thx! Hi your majasty she then bows!

Thunder Queen: I herd the news about your Uncle Shantae! and the town.

Of course you did. News sure travel fast in this story. Through dimensions, to boot.

Shantae: Yeah i Wait What about the town?

Then they go outside to see that Scuttle town is Complety Empty!

Connie: Now we are really too late they took everything.

Lucky: Well except the stick.

Minon: *Steals stick then runs off!*

Lucky: Nevermind.

Thunder Queen: Connie lucky Shantae.

If it wasn't because reading this far has made me more fluid in dumb, I'd be blushing right now.

Vixon is still out there somewhere you three need to find him before something bad happens. In order to revive Shantae's Uncle Mimic you need to find the five of these Diamond Emblems 1. In the Ocean 2. on Zombie island. 3. On Saliva Island.

4. In a Volcano. and. 5. In a Ship if you find these crystals before Vixion does Mimic will be alive!

How, why, and what would be such limiting words, if I were ever actually going to pretend that I wanted to try and make sense of any of this. So, you know what to do to thwart death, and it's doing a fetch quest? Sure, just get to gathering the Dragon Balls already.

Thunder Queen: I'm counting on you three i believe in you bye! Then the call ends.

Connie: Alright find the Emblems save mimic save the Day! let's go.

Lucky: But we dont have a boat. Connie: Oh right.

Shantae: Risky boots has a boat she is by the docs i know where she is...

I think you need to double check your timeline again, author. Risky would at this point only set foot in Scuttle Town to usher in the soundtrack for Burning Town.

Both: Alright!

Shantae: Let's Ret-to-Go and save my Uncle!

Both: Yeah let's go! *Then our 3 heroes runs to the Docs! And so the Adventure begins!*

Will they find Vixon and Save the day?

I don't know, will the day be saved if they find Vixon? I find it you have trouble even figuring out what plot hook you're sticking with, author.

Find Out Next time on

Connie, Lucky, & Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

End of Part 1!

It's called a chapter, you dunce. You call the next one Boat Trouble Part 1!!
Last edited by ConcernedGamer on Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:10 am

I'm getting some major Francis the Snivy vibes from this fic. That said, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:43 pm

GorillaGamer wrote: โ†‘
Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:10 am
I'm getting some major Francis the Snivy vibes from this fic. That said, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.
You are not alone in that, and it only gets more comparable when I lay open my latest findings.

Let me take you on a journey. Strap in. I dived back into the eldritch fountain of knowledge that is Google and typed in that which should be forbidden, yet by the author was left perfectly available to any poor soul to research. His name. I now know who the Thunder Queen is. I know who Connie and Lucky are. But most importantly, I know what Kidsland is. It's of the author's own imagination. A failed creative project on Casting Call Club, an online voice acting instruction community, titled "Sammy & Friends!" can be found here.

Connie and Lucky are African American catgirl warriors serving the ruler of Kidsland, the Thunder Queen against her evil brother the Thunder King. And on the same roster list is the author himself, his wife " real or no " a friend named Henry, Connie and Lucky's brother Lanky, and Shantae, and that's it. That's all the descriptive info there was, aside from voice casting instructions, until I decided to look at the file names for the character avatar pictures. Deviantart user Cartoon68 has produced "art" for this fanfic, including a comic of most of the first chapter. View it and the character depictions at your own risk here, because my words can't do them justice.

I hardly have anything left to say after that intro. Moving on. Here's Chapter 2, Boat Trouble! Pt 1

After intro the title pops up!

With the smell of fresh crayon fading with it.

Previously on Connie lucky & Shantae the Quest to save uncle Mimic!

Last time our 3 heroes find out the town is now deserted and was ordered by the Thunder Queen to get the Crystals to save Mimic! Who are now at the docs...

Because with her uncle dead and the entire town kidnapped, the only thing that would get Shantae to do this quest would be an order. And you were going after Diamond Emblems, you confused dolt, what is this crystal bullshit now?

*Ahem* I said...

The Camaras shows the 3 at the docs!

Thankyou... Anyhoo let's continue!

Isn't it fun when the author translates a visual gag to written form, by providing none of it?!

Lucky: So Shantae is it true that you defeated the Pirate Master without your genie magic?

Shantae: Yep! No genie magic at all! I couldn't have done it without Risky boots!^_^

You couldn't have. I mean that literally. Winning against the final boss of The Pirate's Curse without Shantae recovering her magic genie half in the process is the Bad Ending, where the Pirate Master remains undefeated, Shantae remains fully human, and Risky faces a doomed fate at the titular curse. Did you make her state this pointless retcon because you sucked at the game, author?

Connie: Speaking of ol' Risky! I think i see her up ahead!

Then Risky's Theme start Playing!

And it will never end, because I don't expect this author to make the effort to keep track.

Risky: Just my luck not only that Rotton Robot stolen everything including my Crew!

HE STOLEN MY SHIP MY ONE AND ONLY SHIP! WHEN GET MY HANDS ON VIXON I'M GONNA-...

Lucky: We found her! Then the 3 girls Stop!

Risky: Shantae! and... Who these 2?

As far as Shantae knows? Tourist fan-girl nobodies, from all she has seen of what they are capable of, and I'm on the same page!

Shantae: There names are Connie & Lucky There here to help me save my Uncle from Vixon! from possibly destroying Scuttle Town!

Lucky: Yeah whose been sadly Deceased! :(*Sniff*

Connie: *Gives lucky a tissue* Yeah so we need to use your boat so can we use it?

Lucky: *Blows her nose!* Yeah can we please use it?

Mimic was murdered mere minutes ago. Shantae has barely had time to wipe the potential blood of her only parental figure off her hands. And you two klutzes are treating it like a violin-scored Bugs Bunny comedy mourning routine. You are a tone-deaf buffoon, author.

Risky: Let me think about that... NO!

Connie: Why not you mean old pirate lady?!:(

Risky: Because i don't care! Besides i have better things to do! *Crosses her arms!*

Connie: Like finding all your stuff by yourself? She said.

Risky: Yeah... HEY!:( *Growls*...

Risky doesn't want anything to do with them, and wants to work alone. What was the joke, author?

Connie: Unless Risky you are weak enough to fight... Moi!

Risky: YOU!? Why should i fight you?

Connie: Cuz you can't Defeat the Vixon!

Risky: ! [Angry] WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!

That The Vixon is a state of mind, maybe?

Connie: I'm Saying your weak! Her eyes then turn dark Black! You couldn't even beat Shantae in the games! Wimp!

Nice going, Connie, you just implied one has to be weak to be defeated by Shantae, what a great fan you are.

Lucky: Sis what are you doing?

Shantae: Uh Lucky is Connie ok?

Lucky: It's nothing Shantae!

Shantae: *Then raises an eyebrow.* Are you Sure?

Lucky: Yup! She says nervously

Shantae: Well ok then.

Well, then that was a waste of words, wasn't it?

Connie: If I win i'll be Captain and we'll go to get the Crystals to save Shantae's Uncle!

Risky: And if i Win?

Connie: Then Shantae will be your Half Genie Slave Forever!

Shantae: ! Now Connie let's think about...

Risky: *She Smiles as she start smirking Evilly* DEAL!๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Shantae: *Sigh* This...๐Ÿ˜’

For someone who somehow figured out how to write Unicode emojis, you sure seem dense when it comes to wagers, author. No one would believe an unaffiliated stranger could back up the claim of wagering the life of one's arch nemesis.

*Transition* Plays Dance through Danger as Lucky does a Handstand!

Because of course you'll sully that song, while also feeling the need to show off your athleticism for no reason.

Connie & Risky Starts to Prepare their Battle...

Connie & Risky: Stretches also cracking there bones!

Connie: Just Warning ya Stinky Boots I'm Pretty Tough!

Lucky: *Whispers to Shantae* She really is..

You guys were relieved you managed to survive a blink-and-you-miss-it brush with the bad guy, but sure, pour on the super powers already.

Risky: I will keep that in mind Enough talk Let's Battle!

Connie: My Pleasure!:(.

The Shantae battle Music then starts playing!

Before the previous song even managed to get through its chorus.

Risky: Takes a running start!

It starts then going Slow Mo!

Connie: *She then runs and Quickly grabs her sword from behind.* There We go!

Then it goes back to Normal.

Trust me, you don't want to know how slow I think you are when at normal.

Risky: AHHH- *Then she notices something...*

Risky: Wait where is my...

Connie: Looking for this? *Then she holds Risky's sword as she uses her tail to fly in the air...* Try and get it from me Risk!

Risky: GIMMIE BACK MY SWORD YOU LITTLE-

Connie: What are ya Scared Risk? *Then she shape shifts as a Chicken then she clucks as a chicken too.*

You equate a pirate's antics of shouting at you for taking her sword as her being scared? I don't even know what you are smoking, but I don't want some.

Shantae and Lucky: *Starts laughing...*

Shantae: *Mockingly* I'm Risky boots who fails to defeat the hero of Scuttle Town!

Lucky: *Continues Laughing!*

Risky: *Starts turning Red!* ENOUGH! I can do it with or without my Sword!

Risky: *Then Shoots her cannonball at Connie!*

Connie: *She then teleport's...*

Because of course she can do that. Let's see. Teleports, can slow down time, her tail can do whatever the fuck she wants it to. Guys, I think I spotted the Mary Sue.

Risky: ! *Looks Around.*

Shantae: Where She Go?

Connie: *As fire then appears as she kicks her from behind!*

Risky: Ugh.. *Then she Wipes the blood from her mouth...* Well Played!

Risky: *Tries Punching Connie in slow motion!*

Connie: Nice!

What was nice, exactly? Her attempt, whether she came near to hitting you, or the fact that we are supposed to know that it's you slowing down time again while having this mock battle?

Both: *Keeps fighting as Shantae and Lucky watches...*

Shantae: *Plays Risky's Revenge on her Phone!*

Look, I know the game creators host a twitter for Shantae, but do you really think she has a phone in a magical land where Mimic, may he rest in peace, had the profession of digging up modern day fashioned devices as Old World relics?

Lucky: *Draws on the sand laying on her tummy.*

*Hours Later*

Both: *Pant!*

Risky: *Shoots one last Big Cannon Ball! Towards her!*

Shantae: Connie look Out!:-OO_O

Connie: *Then she pulls out a golf club and keeps pulling it to make it Bigger!*

And now we are in a god damn Spongebob cartoon with this overpowered, time-wasting asshole, while with every second that pass kidnapped people are suffering and a dead man's fate hangs in the balance.

Shantae: Wow!

Connie: *Then she swings it with all of her Might!*

Risky: *Sees cannon ball above her.. Oh Boy! Cannon ball smashes her repeatedly!*

Would it be too obvious if I stated that Tom & Jerry is one of the author's favorite shows, alongside the other one I mentioned?

Risky: *Woozily And feels dizzy while trying to fight Connie!*

Connie: *Smirks* Hmm... *She then Smacks Risky with her own Sword!*

Risky: *Then she faints...*

Lucky And Shantae: :-O *Gasps* Yay Woohoo! *Claps and cheers!:D*

Connie: *Bows* Thankyou! Thankyou!

Connie: *Walks to Risky Boots who is now in Pain!*

Risky: Alright you win! *Gives her Her Pirate Hat!*

As an honorable pirate losing a bet is want to do, of course

Connie: *Then she gives her back her Sword!* Are Ya ready to set sail Matetys?

Lucky & Shantae: Argh!;)

Connie: That's the spirit Now Come On!

All: *Then they all hop on the boat then goes to the Island!*

You know...the island. That one. Yeah, fuck if I know.

Connie: Alright you land lubbers! Let's Get Sailing!

Connie: Shantae Your our Lookout! Check if there is an Island.

I thought you just went to one!

Shantae: *Wearing her cute pirate bandanna from Pirate's Curse!* Aye Aye Captain! :(

Connie: Risky Your washing the poop Deck in the Bathroom!

You have no idea what anything is on a ship, do you author?

Risky: WHAT WHY ME?

Connie: Because Me & Lucky Are sharing the Map!

Risky: *Then grumbles as she's going downstairs.*

Hours later...

Risky: *Mocking Connie Oh i'm Connie i'm pretty tough! Beating Risky Boots Hmph yeah Right! She said as she starts to clean then toilet then is about to throw up After smelling it!* Oh Wow! *Coughs*

This is a fetish niche thing, isn't it? The author already pointlessly had a character be on the verge of blowing chunks in Chapter 1. As if the confirmed feet and vore stuff wasn't enough as it was.

Shantae: *Then her Stomach rumbles...* Captain i'm hungry!

Lucky: *Her Stomach growls as well* Me too!

Connie: Ok ShipMates i'll check in the Gally for food.

Connie: *Then she Goes to the Gally (kitchen) to find food.*

Connie: Ah Ha! FOOD! *Then she Finds some Cheese then a rat grabs it! Drat! Then goes back up on deck!*

Connie: Sorry Mates i Couldn't find any food.

And so the plot kind of, I dunno, tilts from side to side?

Lucky: So Hungry...

5 Minutes Later...

Shantae: *Goes alittle crazy due to her Hunger!* So hungry i can eat...

Shantae: *Then she Sees Connie* MEAT! No i can't Connie's my friend but i need that Meat What do i do?

Image

Nega Shantae: Eat Her! Look at that tasty tender and plump Meat! *Then Shantae starts to drool!* Yeah your...

Angel Shantae: NO! Don't do it she's doing the best she can to save your Uncle.

Shantae: MMM... That's True!

Nega Shantae: Big deal! just eat her alittle bit... Your choice kid Starve or get the Meat!

Both: *Then they both disappear...*

As if comedy wasn't lost on you already, author, you also missed the glorious opportunity to have these shoulder consciences take the form of Shantaes actual moral influencers; the brain-eating Rottytops and the bird trainer Sky.

Shantae: Umm... *Then she hears Nega Shantae's voice while it echoes as she see Connie Starve or eat Meat Kid... Then She also hears Angel Shantae's voice while it Echoes She is saving your Uncle's Life!*

Shantae: My Heart says no but my belly says YESSS!:D:( *Then she Bites her tail...*

Connie: ! YOWWWW! Hey watch it Shantae why did ya bit my tail?

Shantae: What? Me eat you Connie? What makes you think that? *Then she Whistles innocently!*๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‡

You know, I was about to go into a heated rant over your utter lack of ability to depict emotional states beyond resorting to emoticons, but then I realized this is exactly what this level of writing deserves, author.

Connie: Shantae...:(

Shantae: Fine i'm sorry Connie that i tried to eat you it's just that i'm really Hungry! *Feeling Guilty!*

Connie: That's ok i'm hungry too Shantae.

Lucky: I wanna read the map! *She said as she then tugs it...*

Connie: No Sis your gonna Rip...

Map: *Tears then blows away by the wind!*

Better get used to the afterlife, Mimic, because these retards have to create their own drama to pad out this story already.

Connie It. It's all your fault now we are lost!

Lucky: Me? You are the one who started it...:(

Shantae: ! *Then she sees something BIG coming through the Telescope!* UH Guys?

Yeah, a crashing meteor from outer space sounds like the best solution to this fanfic right about now.

Both: Keeps Arguing!

Shantae: Guys hello? *She then points to the whale coming Closer!*

Lucky: Your an Awful Captain!

Connie: Hmph!

Lucky: Hmph!

Shantae: GUYS?!

Both: WHAT?

Then the boat falls on a tongue!

ALL: A Whale!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!O_O

Whale: *Then he Chomps them all as he closes his Mouth!*

To Be Continued?

Is that a genuine question, or are you going to be edging yourself to this vore shit for a few days before deciding for yourself?

*The camera then zooms out in the background showing Me and Charlotte as we watched on what has happend!*

Image

Charlotte: Honey what are we gonna do?

Me: Get help that's what Hon don't worry guys we are coming! Our heroes were eaten by a whale will they survive find out on Connie Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic! *Then me and my wife teleport back to kidsland to get Lanky and the thunder Queen!*

I should have known this author's self-insertion into his own fantasy would not be omitted from this shit, but are you telling me that this Kidsland show is on air, with current events, and he is now going to go join in? What type of reality is this?

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by StabbyKobold » Mon Sep 17, 2018 12:46 pm

As GorillaGamer mentioned, the similarities to Francis the Snivy are uncanny.

At least I doubt there's going to be as much focus on sports or repetitiveness in the plot, but this bowl of crazy is definitely going to be deep.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:37 pm

This chapter opens up with a nonsensical and unrelated injection of one of the author's Banjo Kazooie fever dreams, and follows it up with something worse. Here's Chapter 3, Shantae's Meat Problem Pt2wBanjoShort.

The jiggy jingle starts playing as the title starts showing!

Do you have to be so informative yet completely inept at telling us what's happening on the inside of your skull, author?

One day in Spiral Mountain Banjo was about to leave for his sister's birthday Party!

I would have classified this as a surprise crossover, but what's the point when this is an interlude? This filler will have no fucking effect on the rest of the story!

Banjo: *Tries to wake up Kazooie... Get up Kazooie Wake Up! *Sigh* *Then he leaves...*

I sure know I would give up on waking my best friend for an important event after making half an attempt.

*Hours Later*

Kazooie: *Then she starts to Wake up... *yawns* hop out of her backpack and does some stretches first*

She'd better, considering what comes out of her every game, and how.

Kazooie: *Sees Letter* Hm What's this? A Card for Me?

Kazooie: *Reads It* *As she opens the card it plays Tooty's theme!*

Kazooie: Happy Birthday Tooty from your big brother Banjo & your friend Kazooie!... !

Kazooie: *Checks the Clock* *Gasp* OH NO I'M LATE! *Then she Quickly Runs*

And Banjo ditched her yet forgot the card himself? Why do characters have to be imbeciles in order for the author to write conflict?

Kazooie: *She the leaves the house to go to the party* I can't belive i'm late i guess i must have overslept again.. *Sigh* Whatever as long as i focus i can make it to the party. *She runs past Mumbo's Hut! Untill... Mumbo called her!

I'm at the edge of my seat, guys, with a noose around my neck.

Mumbo: Hey can mumbo see you for a sec... Real Quick!

Kazooie's Mind: Mumbo? I wonder what he wants i guess it will be real Quick!

Kazooie: *Walks in to his hut!* So Bonebrain anything ya need help with im kinda in a hurry to make it to a party.

Mumbo: Hey can bird help mumbo find Shamen Stick?

Kazooie: Sure! she said... Where is it?

Mumbo: Down in basement...

Why do I feel like this is a subtle reenactment of the author visiting his creepy neighbor?

Kazooie: In the basement got it! *She runs down there resulting her falling and then mumbo her a loud Crash!*

Mumbo: ! HEY BECAREFUL DOWN THERE!

Kazooie: MMM... *Then sees the wand in a huge mess!*

Kazooie: Great! *Then grabs a broom* *An hour Later.* Kazooie: Alright the basement is clean!

She saw the wand, author! You just told us she did! Since when did Kazooie have OCD?

Kazooie: There it is! *Grabs the wand and goes back upstairs* Here is your wand Mumbo! *Gives it to him*

Thanks for helping mumbo find Wand! And tell tooty i said hi & Happy Birthday Here give her this! *Gives her the Present!*

So what I'm getting here, is that Mumbo tossed his wand into the basement to trick Kazooie into cleaning his mess, and now he's suckering her into shipping his party-dodging ass' present. I guess paying this douche in skull tokens to get him to help save Tootie from his magical nemesis was necessary, after all.

Kazooie: See ya Skull Head! *Then leaves* *She then sees a nest of new type of egg the sleep;y egg!*

Kazooie: Oooh a new egg. Type... Don't mind if i do! *Grabs nest and puts it in her backpack.* I'll save theese for later.

Kazooie: Hey and i'm halfway... *Then she triggers a switch with grunty's face on it,* *And falls in the process* THERRRRE! *Tries to fly out of trap then gets hit by a mallet.* Kazooie: *Woozily* Where's the next jiggy banjo? *Then she falls*

What's going to be the point of this? Why is there a typically stomp-activated switch, usually dedicated for unveiling secret goodies in Gruntilda's lair, out in the open where this blind as fuck bird stumbles onto it? When will we just go back to Cooky and Loony and suffer while actually knowing

Kazooie: Then wakes up Ugh.. what happ... Then get's cut off by a familiar voice!

Grunty: Well well well if it isn't Kazooie Messioe! *She said as she walks In!*

Kazooie: Not now gruntbags i have a party to go too! Also that's not even a real word!

Grunty:

IT IS A REAL WORD! ENOUGH OF THIS LET'S FIGHT!:(

Image

What bootleg version of Hell did you drag forth this Gruntilda caricature from, author? Her whole monologue spiel is that she uses internal rhyme structures for everything she says. Not only did you not have her bother on the second attempt, your first was a ridiculous utterance of homonymous rhyming of two words back to back with a nonsensical utterance of a made-up string of letters, just because your lazy ass couldn't think up two sentenced that rhymed?!

Kazooie: Does a flapflip!

Grunty: Come here you little Pest she said Angerly!

Grunty: Tries to attack kazooie then misses... Grr...

Kazooie: She then remembered! Take this Winky! *She then throws a sleep egg to her eye!

Throws it? She launches them from her beak and butt, author, have you even played a Banjo Kazooie game?

Grunty: OWWW! Rubs her eye. *Then feels sleepy all of a Sudden!* *Get's sleepy* It was fun but now that the fight finished i'm Done! *Snores*

Kazooie *Whispers* Thank you sleepy egg. *The she slowly flies to the Exit*

Nothing says five-year-old imagination like 'and then the bad guy fell asleep' as the climax of the story's conflict.

Then fun n games music plays as kazooie keeps running!

Kazooie: Almost there. *Uses her tallon trot to make it to the party!*

Kazooie: *Pant *Pant!* Hey everyone sorry i was late!

Banjo: Kazooie where were you?

Tooty: yeah yove missed it. It was fun!

Well, if I'm reading the moral of the story right, someone falling asleep is a solution to problems, so Kazooie sleeping in was seemingly to everyone's benefit.

Kazooie: I had to help mumbo find his wand and stopped grunty. Now i'm here... Here kid! *Gives her the present!*

Tooty:

*Gets the present and opens it!* Wow a Wand after turning Kazooie into a frog then she turns her back* Opps... Sorry Kazooie!

Kazooie: Ooof!

Where's that loudmouth bird that has an insult or a snarky remark with every slight inconvenience put on her? All I have is this here feather duster bending over for every commotion coming her way.

Banjo: Did you remembered to get the clown for the party?

Wouldn't you know, since the party is now over and you were here, Banjo?

Kazooie: Clowm? *Flashback* Alright Conker deal em in! *At a bar familiar playing crazy 8's

*Music playing Windy from conker's bad fur day*

Conker: *Shuffles the cards*You got lucky Kazooie but i'm sure i'll win this time!

Regardless of his actual age, I don't believe the author has the mental maturity for this - and by 'this' I mean Banjo Kazooie.

*10 Minutes Later...*

Conker *Bangs his hand on the table*

DAMMIT I LOST AGAIN! *Sigh* And gives her the jiggys! You won fair and Square!

Kazooie: Bye Conker see ya next week! *She then leaves*

Conker: *Waves goodbye*

I'll win next time! See ya kazooie!

Kazooie: *Sees a clown!* Huh a clown! *Then walks off* *Flashback ends* Uhh about that...

Well, I could certainly see the point of that flashback. It was to indicate Kazooie has a gambling problem, right? Because getting a birthday party clown has nothing to do with randomly passing one, author, you thoughtless twit!

Tooty: What are we gonna do? Little yellow jingo child: I have an idea... *Smirks*

Kazooie: *as a clown deadpanned* I hate my life... *Sigh* Juggles balls while trycycling!

Kids: Boo this clown stinks! Booo!

Well, it seems Kazooie didn't miss the party after all, but only because the author has no basic comprehension of the English language or linear time in general.

Kazooie: *Angry* HEY WATCH IT YOU LITTLE BRA- *Gets hit in the face by a rock! Hey who threw *Keeps getting hit*

Kids: This is so much fun! *Kids keep throwing rocks at Kazooie!*

*As the kids threw rocks the rocks made the sound of the famous Jiggy Jingle!*

Banjo: Your the best Kazooie Guhuh! *Smiles* *Tooty also hugs kazooie*

Are you aware that you made this scene incredibly morbid, and not at all like slapstick, author? I can't tell whether Kazooie is fine or drowning in a pool of her own blood right now.

Tooty: This is the best birthday ever thanks Kazooie *Hugs her*

Kazooie:

*After getting hit by rocks* OW ow ow augh... No problem banjo! And happy birthday Tooty. *Then she Faints*

I have this Snivy named Francis I would like to introduce you to, author. I'm sure his stories will keep you entertained.

*Then the credits play playing the Banjo Kazooie theme!*

*After Opening theme*

Last time on Connie lucky and shantae a quest to save uncle mimic our hearos were eaten by a whale/

Will they make it to saliva island or die to there doom? find out on today's episode!

Well, it was nice of you to first now tell us which island they are going to, author. An island Shantae by your continuity notes already have visited in the past, meaning your two idiot OCs tearing a map held no weight whatsoever.

All: *Groan!* Connie *Wakes up!* Is everyone ok? *Uses one her fingers like lighting a candle or a match so everyone can see!

Seriously, what kind of Go Go Gadget bullshit is this character?

Lucky: *Glares at her sister* Gee thanks captain for getting us LOST!:(

Connie: *Mimicing her sister*

Lucky: *Does the same!*

Yeah, go ahead and mimic your sister who is mimicking you, that will make sense.

Shantae: We'll argue who's to blame later now let's just find a way Outta here!

All: Agreed!

Connie: I'll try to do it with some fire-

Lucky: Connie please i'll do it with some Ice! Hmph!

Connie: balls...

Lucky: And FREEZE! *She freezes the whales dangly thing up top*

It's called a uvula, author. It's literally what you get as a search result if you google 'dangly thing'!!

Connie: *Laughs* *Mocks her sister no no no let me do it with my ice*

Lucky: *Growls* *Grumbles* Connie: *tries it with fire but it doesn't work* Dang it! *Try's it again*

And why doesn't it work, author? Having your already translucent characters target a silhouetted backdrop makes half of your story up to anyone's guess, until you actually bother making a passable effort.

Later...

Connie: *Panting*

Lucky: Eww why is this tongue so sticky?

Shantae: It's a tongue IT's suppose to be sticky! *Lays Down*

But what if it wasn't sticky Shantae?

Who said that and why do I even bother asking for the narrative to remain coherent and sane at this point?

Shantae: *Sigh* We'll never get outta here...*

Lucky: *Accidently spills the toilet then the whale swallows It! Eww...

Was that humor? A fetish? Another tally of utter nonsense this story consists of?

Lucky: *Sits* Owch! what am i sitting on? *Holds a crystal* Oh it's just a crystal...

Connnie: Crystal? Lucky you found It!

Lucky: I did? I did i found the first Crystal! *Counts her fingers Only 4 more to Go!*

I am not at all surprised you needed to use your fingers for that.

Connie: *Finds someone* Hello? uh escuse me s... Mayor: OOOH some company! Connie: AH! A hobo!

Shantae: Mayor?

Mayor: Oh hello Shantae! Who are you 2?

Come on, do the bit already, mayor. Say it with me; "You are fired."

Connie: I'm connie and this is my little sis Lucky.

Lucky: *Hids behind connie* Hola!*

Shantae: How did you get here?

Mayor: Some robot came and thew me! Lucky: vixon must've thrown you!

So, by process of elimination, Vixon's minions aren't robots?

Connie: Let's shave this beard! *Uses her claws as sicssoers to cut his beard!*

It's still only been hours since the events of last chapter, numbskull!

Mayor: Thankyou! Connie: Your welcome Mr. Mayor.

*Hears rumbling*

Connie: Lucky was it your stomach again? Lucky: It wasn't me!

Connie: If it wasn't you then who...?

*Rumbling again*

Lucky: SIS I'M SORRY I RUINED THAT MAP I JUST WANTED TO USE IT!

CONNIE: THATS OK LUCKY IT WAS MY FAULT WE GOT LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE I'M SORRY TOO! HOLD ON!

Whale: *Thows Up*

I'm sensing a theme here.

All: *Ecept the mayor goes flies up to the island!* Ugh...

Bolo: You all ok? Sky: *Sniffs* And why do ya smell like Whale barf?

And why are you two here and not kidnapped along with the rest of Scuttle Town?

Shantae: We been eaten by a whale what else is new? *She said deadpanned*!

Sky: Well there are tinkerbats around. Risky: *Whistles* Bolo: What is SHE doing here?

She's appearing to remind us that she actually exists in this story, because the author likely forgot she was supposed to be inside the whale, too.

Sky: And who are these 2?

Shantae: Risky and i... Lucky: *Ahem* Shantae: I mean WE called it a truce! Connie: Thankyou.

Even the Mary Sue glorification is bare bones amateur level here, with the author needing to mark down their insufferable inclusion, while forgetting to actually have them introduce themselves for the fourth time.

Connie: Yeah we are saving her dead Uncle from Vixon!

Lucky: Nice Episode 1 Recap!

Connie: Thx Sis!

I'm sure that anyone tuning in will find it self-explanatory from the simple details of you trying to save a dead man from a robot.

Sky: That's Awful! Oh and i'm Sky by the way and this is My friend bolo & Wrech!

Bolo: Sup Ladies? Shantae: *Sigh* Oh Bolo.

Wrench: Screeches!

Connie: *Flashback* *Hisses while eating the birds* *Flashback ends* *Sighs*

Lucky: Sis you ok? Connie: Yeah luck i'm fine!

You lost me. Was that an angst background you tried to smuggle in, or the first hint in this story that these two actually are cat-girls, triggered by coming face to face with a being that the author won't bother to mention is a bird?

Connie: Anyway... My name is connie & this is my sister Lucky!

Lucky: Yo! Have you seen? *Sniffs* What is that smell?*

Connie & Shantae *fallows Smell* It's Meat!

I'm starting to feel very dirty, since it's now become apparent that the author was receptive to the Saliva Island waterfall quest meat-stank buildup, rather than the bikini clad girls bathing in the lizard mouth fluids afterwards.

Lucky: Food! All: *Then runs to the stand*

Lucky: 2 *Gets run over by shantae* *Groaning* Please...

Shantae: ALL PLEASE! *GIVES MEAT PERSON HER GEMS* *TAKES IT*

Meat person. Not a butcher, or a reprisal of the actual chef girl from the game series we are currently in, no. It's the ham-worker, the beef-peddler, the genderless anti-vegan, the unsung hero simply identifying themselves as Meat Person.

Lucky: I want some Meat! Connie: Me too!

Shantae: Umm... Here! *Gives them a bone and keeps eating*

Lucky: SHANTAE! WE ARE HUNGRY TOO!:( CONNIE: YEAH!

Sky: Shantae don't be greedy!

Shantae: *Ignores her & keeps eating!*

Lucky: We can't stop now bo i mean your uncle needs us! Shantae: *Keeps eating*

Because that's all a fanfic needs to be about, right? Writing off established protagonists as the embodiment of a gluttonous retard.

Sky: Let's go! Wrench! Wrench: *Screeches* and transforms into Mega Wrench! Becareful you 2!

Both: We'll do! *Hops on Wrench!* YAHOOOOOO!

Yeah, that's nice you half-genie ditching dipshits, but where are you even going?

Bolo: Goodluck! Aw no fair shantae not only your working with our enemy no offense.

Risky: Non Taken. Bolo: But your doing a battle of the death!

How am I even going to communicate back to you in your own baby language, that having done a battle to the death, one of whomsoever you are talking to right now would have had to have died?!

Sky: Don't worry lucky and connie got this!

Bolo: Uh Sky do ya think Shantae will be ok by eating all of that meat? Shantae: *Passes Out* Sky: *Deadpanned*:

Yeah she'll be fine!

Gaurd: ATTENTION THE MAYOR HAVE BEEN CAPTURED! MAYOR: AHHHHH! OFFFF! GAURD: Nevermind!

This has been another episode of Random Sentence Tetris, where the author fucked up on the first drop yet again.

*In mimic's lab!* Mimic:'s soul: In somewhere which is dark!*

Welcome to Hell, Mimic. You dodged a bullet by dying as early as you did, if you ask me.

Mimic: Hello anybody here?

?: Hello mimic it's good to see you again! Mimic: Who are you? ?: How can you forget *Reveals to be Shantae's mom tina Your own wife tina!

Image

Author, do I have to go through the incest jokes, or go right to explaining how an uncle should not be your mother's wife?! What is Shantae's now mundanely named mother doing outside the Genie Realm?! Why is Mimic not in the Valley of the Dead on Mud Bog Island, you know, the actually established place where dead people's souls go?! Were you dropped on your head when you were little?! I want answers!!

Mimic: ! Tina is it really you? Tina: *tries to hug him! but it goes through instead.* Tina: What happend to you?

Mimic: I died! A robot called vixon killed Me!

Tina: I heard!

Then what sort of brain fart possessed you to ask him in the first place?!

The thunder queen told me and those 2 were connie and lucky!

Why did you rely on the omniscient Thunder Queen instead of watching the show this fanfic simultaneously is supposed to be, like the author made his self-insert and accompanying wife do before teleporting inside it?

There helping us save you and the town! Tell that to shantae! Tell her i'm still alive and well! the town needs her. Tina: Goodluck!

Uncle: Wait i still have more questions! Tina: *Then leaves* Uncle: *Calls shantae through telrphty*

Had you simply said he called her through 'ghost powers', author, I would still be flipping you off.

Shantae: *Belly Gurgles* hic... *And a little drunk from the meat* Stu stupid Lucky what are they hic... talking about? I'm fit as a fittle! *Hears her uncle calling her through telephty*

No, I'm pretty sure he got the wrong number, because my ears are ringing at this point.

Mimic: Shantae can you hear me?

Shantae: Uncle is that you?

Mimic: Yes my nice it's me! I was told by your mother.

Shantae: *Gasp* Mom? is she ok i need to know!

Mimic: She said she's alive and well she can't wait to meet you! I gotta go...

Shantae: Uncle Wait!

Mimic: I believe in you goodluck. he then leaves *

Truly, that conversation must have held such importance and impact that it used up all of Mimic's ghost minutes.

Shantae: *Starts to tear up* What have i done? If i hadn't eaten all of this meat none of this wouldve happen...

You ate the meat minutes ago and your dead Uncle didn't even convey anything meaningful through his surprise telepathy. What the fuck are you blithering about?!

Mimic's voice echoes: The town needs you Shantae...

Shantae: *Sniffs* *Who is now feeling determined!* Don't worry Uncle i'm coming to save you!:(

Shantae: *Tries to walk but instead rolls to a nearby cave* Woooa!

*Wreach: *Then landed the 2 girls at a cave!* Lucky: Thx Wrench! Wreach: *Drops a Crystal!* Connie: *Grabs it* Cool 3 more to go! Bye! *Wreach! Wreach: screeschs *then leaves*

Another emptily described mcguffin handed to you by the author with no effort on your part to get it. What joy.

Lucky: Connie it's so dark.. and scary... maybe we should go home... Connie: *Uses her tail to grab her tail to grab her...*

Kinky, if not just a bit awkward.

Connie: No your coming with me!

Lucky: *Gulps* Connie: *Lays on her belly* Let's Ride! Lucky: Wahoo Sis Boarding! *Hops on her back and then she ride's on Connie!*

Kinky, if not just a bit awkward.

Lucky: Are you sure we won't get lost again? Connie: Lucky what could possibly go... *Rumbles* Both: Uh Oh! Connie:WROOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG?!

And then the cave threw up?

To be continued?

It is a lot to unpack about your incredible ineptitude as a writer, author, when I feel open to debating the definition of 'continue', when it comes to the gaps of dreadful brevity that is the loading time between all the chapters you uploaded in the same single day, as this story as a whole is put up on likely more than just the three different websites I came across it on.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:43 pm

Take a look at that chapter title coming up. It's not going to make much sense by the end of it, because besides not knowing how to spell it, the author has no idea what the word means. Here's Chapter 4, The CaveSisterLoveTriangale.

*After opening Credits*

Last time on Connie Lucky & Shantae a quest to save Uncle Mimic Connie & Lucky were lost in a big cave will they find eachother again?

Oh, so that was what happened as you made up the plot in-between chapters, after closing off on a rumbling cave while the two inept spelunkers began to ride each other.

Find out in this Episode!

*In the cave shantae was rolling down!*

Shantae: *Still rolling* Ow ya eeeee Owch! *Then rolls in a loop! Ahhhhhhh! There they Are! *Rolls Out*

Shantae: *Tummy rumbles!* Ugh... never eating that much meat again... *Then Vomits!* *Then sees as she Smiles!*

As always, author, your subtle kinks are such a delight, but still a far cry from the coherency of your storytelling, as we won't be seeing Shantae again until the other half of the story.

Lucky: *Woozily* Nice to meet ya botsy! *Shakes her head!*

Lucky: Connie where are you? *Her voice ecos* She got us lost again! Then again it is connnie... Ive got to find her!

Lucky: *Looks for Connie*

How difficult could it be to find her in this presumably, I dunno, brightly lit and hazardless cave?

Connie: Luck? Sis where are ya? *Her voice ecos* *Tries to find Lucky!*

Lucky: *Talks about Connie* I wish i was more cool just like my big sis Connie! She's brave bratty and cute?

Lucky: *Her face starts turning cherry red!* I mea love her!

Image

Geez, can I not go just one story without this kind of shit?

*Then music starts and so does connie and lucky's first musical Number!* Ever since i met you *Flashback plays* we had a rough start...

Connie:: You were a pretty girl in thunder king's lair... you seemed so alone!

Oh, you are adopted sisters, then? Yeah, pseudo-incest is still going on the list. And where does that leave your brother?

Lucky: It was so scary and dark i just felt like a slave...

But were you one? Just stop pretending you can even tell their background stories this way, author!

*Sniffs Wipes her tears...* But when i met you you looked so cool... I was in love with you! When you had that plan to free from his lair... we would spend our days

Both: FOREVER!โค๐Ÿ˜

Inside the lair, outside of it, together, or apart? I'm done giving you any courtesies by wasting my deduction skills on your waste-of-space narration, author.

Connie: You were so scared and i had to keep you safe! But after years you took care of yourself!

Lucky: Yove bathed me kept me cleaned and fed me i felt so Warm!

Connie: And lucky i really love yo- *Falls* UUUU! *Captured by moles!*

Nice attempt at flipping the one-dimensional damsel-hero dynamic you've established, author, but Connie can slow down time, teleport, use magic, and can probably cut through diamond with that tail of hers. Don't bother, man.

Lucky: And i hope you love me tooo... *Song ends* *Hears her sister in trouble* Sis?

Lucky: I'm coming! *Transformation music starts playing*

Kazoos. Because this shit.

Lucky:: Lucky! Princess form! *Her Transformation sequence starts to begin!*

The fact that you are already a furry does not help me guess what type of transformation to expect.

Lucky: By the love and and protection of my family... PRINCESS OF ICE! *Transformation sequence then ends*

Connie:: *Muffed* Evil Moles!:(

Lucky: Free my sis at once! ICE DYNAMITE!

*Then the moles are gone after the explosion*

Because when someone thinks ice powers, they really think explosions.

Connie: *Muffed* Lucky!

Lucky: Connie! Sis i'm sorry i was really harsh on you today it's just i miss Lanky & Gramps...

Now who the fuck is Gramps?! And you haven't even been a whole day away from Kidsland - grow up!!

Connie: I miss them too sis... We gotta beat some robot butt first!

Lucky: Your right and connie i had a big secret for a long time... i... *Blushes real hard because she's embarrassed*

Connie: I know i love you too!

*They were about to kiss until...*

Shantae: Aw that's so sweet!

So, let me get this straight. In your ploy to save the day and find the next crystal, which just happen to show up wherever you go, your free giant bird ride took you two numbskulls to a nearby cave that a stuffed Shantae also happened to waddle inside of, and not the next island over?!

Both: Shantae! Lucky: We aren't in love.

Shantae: *Rasies an eyebrow while teasing them are you sure?

Lucky: Ok we are in Love!

Shantae: I knew *Then barfs out the bones from the meat* It... *Hic...*

And nothing quite punctuates true love than another titillation of regurgitation. What mood are you actually going for, author?

Connie: I guess now that is done with... I can...

Lucky: Uh sis can i take us outta here? Connie: Sure! Lucky: *Then super jumps the girls out of the cave!*

All: *Looks for the next crystal*

What were you doing in the cave in the first place, if not to look for the darn thing there?!

Vixon: The plan is almost complete just need help from and idiot Mayor...

Mayor: *Walks home until...* vixon: *Grabs Him*

Mayor: Your that mean robot! Vixon: How about i make you a deal?

Mayor: Oh? Vixon: If you find me the black generator i'll give all the choclote in the World! Deal?

Black generator? What glue stick did the author sniff this time? That's not a thing.

Mayor: *Thinks about those chocolotte* Deal! *Shakes his hand!*

Vixon: Just remember DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS!

Mayor: Why not?

Vixon: *Then he lies* Because i don't want to ruin there Surprise that's It!

Be honest with me, author. Did you really think people reading this shit would take your ridiculous villain on his word, if you hadn't specifically told us of his intent of deception?

Mayor: Oh Alright! Vixon: Excellent! *Forms a evil Plan!*

Kind of late to start thinking, but that's just logic.

To be continued!?

Please don't.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:11 pm

It's still the same boring song and dance of these characters meandering off somewhere to grab a crystal for no other reason that they need to and the author lets them. Honestly, the only entertainment value is how fucking incredibly indecipherable and butchered every thought the author attempts to convey is. Here's Chapter 5, The Race The Plan!

*After Opening*

Last episode on Connie, Lucky, & Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

The girls continued on there search to find the last 2 remaining Crystals!

The Mayor was finding that Black Generator to get the chocolates or so he thinks!

Seriously, what the fuck is this Black Generator? What does it generate? Why is it black? Why is the mayor the one to locate it in an already completely ransacked Scuttle Town?

Enjoy Today's Episode!

Enjoy your obscurity protecting you from absolute ridicule, author.

Mayor: *Looks for a black Generator until he sees bolo!* Mayor's Mind: Oh no it's Bolo! I can't tell him about the Surprise!*

Dude, it's Bolo. Mr. Backwards-Upside-Down-Inside-Out, middle name 'Loser'. Tell him the time and place and he'll prep a surprise party on a separate island by himself and lose interest half-way through.

Mayor: *Whtles Dance though danger until he gets noticed*

Bolo: Hi Mayor!

Mayor: Oh! Uh... hi Bolo! *Chuckles nervously*

Bolo: I need your advice i'm trying to ask Sky to be my Girlfriend... And i don't know what to say!

Maybe something along the line of "Please don't let your dad kill me like he did your other suitors"?

Mayor: Get her some Chocolates! *Sees It* I have found it! Bolo: Found What?

Mayor: Nothing! Bolo: OOOok? Anyway thanks for your advice Mr. mayor! Mayor Scuttlebutt?

Bolo: Hmm i wonder where he went off to? He sure acted strange though Hmm... *Feeling Suspicious*

*Tranzition* *Lucky Does a backflip!*

I'm doing a few flips myself with my fingers, author, if you catch my drift.

Lucky: Wow! We are in Zombie Town! Pretty Nice!

Yeah, nice, considering it doesn't exist either, as civilized zombies are nomadic. I feel like the author is basing half this story on an imaginary fan game containing nothing but his own head cannon.

Connie: It's not to Bad! It's Alright! Isn't it Shantae?

Shantae: *Still Playing Riskey's Revenge on her phone beating the final Boss!* Come on come On!

You can just tell she's so determined to save her uncle and all of Scuttle Town, right?!

Lucky: *Sees and so does Connie!* You Can do it Shantae! Connie: Almost there...

Risky: *Also sees too!* *Smirking while remembering the good old days remembering she first came ti Scuttle town!* Just like the good old days eh Genie Girl?

Oh yeah, back in the days where idiot original characters weren't invading, Shantae wasn't a self-crippling, gluttonous baby, and you yourself could maintain existence throughout a single scene.

Lucky: Yay! You Won! I knew you can do it! *Stomach Rumbles!* *Pouts* And i still didn't get my Meat! *Does a cute mad Anime face!

Image

Shantae: Here! *Gives Lucky & Connie some Meat!* Sorry i was Greedy earlier and selfish... I just really miss my uncle... Both: *While eating the Meat!* That's ok Shantae!

I am constantly switching from gauging the content of this dreck as the byproduct of sheltered ignorance, or a massive lack of maturity. In either case, the naivete that is making the author present these self-pitying comfort eaters circumventing their prior issues of starvation by simply pulling meat from out of nowhere this time around, is unlike any I've encountered before.

Shantae: Yup Risky just like the good old days me meeting you for the first time! *Gives connie and lucky

Oh yeah, Risky's Revenge, old times, first time they met, sure. There wasn't a Gameboy Color game before it or anything like that, no sire.

Lucky: HeHe! *Trips* Ow! Rottytops: OMG! Are you ok? Lucky: Yeah i'm fi i i ZOMBIE! Ahhhhh! Don't eat my brain it's not even... Oh your Rotty Right? Your funny in the games. Rotty: *Blushes* Heh... Thx!

Shantae: You ok Lucky? Oh Hey Rotty! Connie: Are ya hurt?

Lucky: Nah i'm fine Honey!

Rottytops: Honey? Connie: We are a couple also i'm Connie btw. And this is my sis and my Girlfriend Lucky!

Because of course you are going to wear your incest on your sleeves when introducing yourself to people, to let them know for what singular reason the author probably created you.

Lucky: What's Up?

Rottytops: Nice to meet you two! Your trying to find a crystal Right?

Lucky: Yeah! How did ya know? Rotty: I heard the news that your uncle died Shantae so i wanted to help you guys... Only on one Condition!

Luckily for you, Rotty, I think the party currently has two brains to spare, in mint condition even, never used!!

Shantae: What's the catch Rotty? Rottytops: If you race me like in the good old days!

Shantae: Well it's been a longtime since we last race... I guess it'll be nice to race you again Rotty! I'll do it!

It happened for a minute in one of the games, and the author has no idea what else to do with these characters, so now he'll write it to happen again and pretend its nostalgia.

Lucky: *As a cheerleader* Go Shantae Whoo!

Connie: *Playing Half Genie Hero on her Laptop!* You can do it Shantae! Yahoo!

Are you done with your meaningless 'lol random gaming mentions' splurging, author? Because your 'lol competent writing' quotas are in the deep negatives right now.

Shantae: Thanks Guys! *Then the Minigame Music from the Shantae Series starts Playing*

Rottytops: Ready... Set... Shantae: *Gets Ready!* Rottytops: GO!

Shantae & Rottytops: *The 2 starts beginning Running!*

Shantae: *Begins Panting!* Man you are more faster then then me Last time.

Rottytops: *Panting* Thx Snack cakes! Besides i'm pretty sure that was you Shantae!

Yes, it was Shantae who was faster than than Shantae last time - author, is English your third language, right after moron?

Shantae: Oh... And don't calling me that!

Rottytops: What Snackcakes? That's your cute nickname!

Shantae: You really think i'm cute? *Blushes*

She said the nickname was cute, author, because that was what you wrote her to say! Do you use an interpreter to function in public?

Rottytops: Yup!

Shantae: *Then crosses the finish Line!* I Won Again!:D

Risky: Good work Runt! *She Smirks!*

Lucky: Wahoo!:)

Connie: *Closes her Laptop!* Awsome Job Shantae!

Rottytops: Alright Shantae here! *Gives her the Crystal*!

Shantae: Thx! Rotty and i love you too! Both: *Blushes!*

Welcome to 'totally legit confession sequiturs', where the author convincingly pairs off and establishes his OTPs, by using the dedication and believability lend over from the educational system that failed him.

Lucky: Look who's blushing now? *She said Teasingly!*

Shantae & Rottytops: *Still Blushing* *Cough* Right.. Shantae: A anyway thx Rotty!

Rottytops: Your welcome shantae see Ya!

Shantae: Bye!

Lucky: *Still teasing her* Shantae & Rotty sitting in a Tree...

Shantae: LUCKY! *Blushes Angerly*

All: G! *Makes Kissing Noises!*

Did you slow-bus subscribers seriously forget to chant out loud the first six letters of the word kissing?!

Shantae: *Mimics them! Untill* Hey i found the Volcano!

I'm sure you are so proud of yourself, since those are so hard to find, after all.

I'll go first! *Vacano then makes Noises*

Shantae: Like i said Lucky you go first!

Lucky: Me Why?

Shantae: You made fun of me! Lucky: You did the same thing!:(

Lucky: I know we'll do rock Paper Sissccoers! only one round.

Shantae: Deal! ROCK... PAPER SISSCCEORS...

Both: SHOOT! Shantae: Sissocers beats paper lucky! Lucky: DAMN IT!

Keep drooling on your keyboard, author, I'm sure one day you'll spell scissors by a mistake. I swear, autocorrects should be made mandatory for some people.

Lucky: *Mimics Shantae* You made fun of me! You did the same Damn Thing! *Whimpers* *Hears Hand cuffs!* Huh?

Connie: We are with ya all the Way! Risky: *Tries to break free!* Lucky: Thx Sis!

*They then walk inside of the valcano!* Lucky: *Starts to Sweat* Man it's hot in hear!

Connie: Well it is a valcano after All... Lucky: Good Point...Hey there's 2 Paths which way do we go?

Why, you stop pretending to be Dora the Explorer, keep walking the straight line the author marked down for you to follow to each and every single crystal, and fuck off with your lack of details, descriptions, and common sense.

Risky: We go to the 2nd Path...

Shantae: I don't know it doesn't look safe...

Risky: Say I if ya wanna go to the second path or nay to the first Path!

Connie & Lucky: I... Shantae: nay... *Sigh* Ok.

Aye see what you didn't know what to spell there, author.

Risky: Well there we go! *Then they go to the second Path!*

All: *Keeps Walking* Connie: *Looks Around!* Oooh... Ahh... Lucky: I see Light!

*Then they stopped walking because by the time that happened they were on a Cliff!*

Lucky: I don't see anything but a Stupid cliff! No food no Air!

Connie: Hey Luck think fast! *Throws Her a Banana!* Lucky: Thx! *Peels her Banana!*

Food is always available, of course, unless the author needs it to not be there.

Lucky: *Deadpanned!* *While eating* Ok there's food but still *Hears Cracking from the Cliff.*

Lucky: Hmm? *Shrugs* All: *Comes at the same time as Lucky*

Not the time I expected to complain about simultaneous orgasms, but okay.

Lucky: I don't think we should be that... *Cliff then Breaks and they all start falling* CLOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!

All: *Splashes!* *In the Process there handcuffs are Melted! But Connie Managed to grab the girls while summoning her Emblem then they were inside... because lucky has ice abilities the other side of the emblem cooled the other half of the Room!*

I'll let this speak for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HoCSTjkJRk

Mayor: I have found the Black Generator vixon can i have the chocolate now?

Vixon: Eggcelent! *Rim Shot!*

If only this was bad humor, at least I could laugh at the poor quality of it. But no, this fanfic is composed of nothing but failed attempts at humor. This is anti-fun.

*Then he calls his Minions to give him the Reward!* Here!

Mayor: *Grabs It!*Thx! Bolo: *Behind the Tree!* What's going on back there? *Whispers* I'll wait and see...

I'm pretty sure you should already have seen the Mayor being given the reward of all the chocolate in the world, which must be quite the handful.

Vixon: *Turns on the Generator making the Sky so Dark!* The Plans finally Complete! All because of the Mayor!

Right, the black generator. Does it generate something black? If mimic made it, odds are its just a coffee maker.

Bolo: ! MAYOR HOW COULD YOU? *Gets caught!* Uh Oh!

Vixon: There you Are! *Shoots Bolo with a Sleep Dart!*

What, were you all out of egg puns to reused Kazooie's sleep egg?

Bolo: Ow! *Then falls Asleep!* Bolo: *Snores!*...

Bolo: *Yawns* *Struggles because he is tied Up! Wha... What happend? AHHHHH! *As he see a blaster above Him! He then Sweats* Vixon: *Grins evily!* *Ties up Bolo's Mouth!* Vixon: Say your prayers you Blue Haird Ugly Freak!

Bolo: *Muffed: I'M NOT UGLY I'M JUST MENTALLY CHALLENGE!

One reason, author, that's all I'm asking. One reason to believe you are even capable of writing a single paragraph without insulting me, your readers, or yourself!

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS SHANTAE AND THE OTHERS WILL COME TO SAVE ME!

Vixon: We'll See... Come on now Operation plan to destroy Scuttle Town is Already in Motion! *Walks Away!*

What, as an encore? You already ransacked the town, emptying it of everything, including the people!!

Bolo: *Muffed: Shantae please Help Me! Then a tear comes out of bolo's Eye as he wait for his friends help!*

*Then the page fades to Pitch black!*

Page. This thing is your attempt at writing a comic book script, of a TV show, of a fictional reality, of original characters ripping off the Shantae franchise. Boy, author, don't let anyone tell you that you are shallow, because depth like this is what makes rock bottom what it is.

TO BE CONTINUED?

I don't react kindly to threats.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:07 pm

Thankfully its a short one this time, but it pisses me off right at the gate as the author still doesn't know how chopping chapters into parts works. Here's Chapter 6, Lucky's Choice! P1.

*After Opening*

Last time our heroes were lost while finding the Very last Crystal!

However Lucky seems to be having trouble.

You mean besides looking forward to redoing first grade for the tenth time? Assuming she didn't die with the rest plummeting to their fiery death or whatever happened last chapter, that is.

Find out why in this Episode!

Lucky: ... Connie: Sis? Lucky: *Shakes her head!* Mmmm... what happend? She asked as she woke up...

Connie: Your finally Awake! Cuz now where inside my emblem finding the last crystal.

So now we are all nice warm and Safe!

Oh, a pocket dimension item, how hard was that to say, author? And as always, brilliant narrative, having these characters set the entire scene by violating 'show - don't tell' in ways it was never even meant to.

Lucky: That's good! Connie: I can't wait to beat some Robotic Butt!

Lucky: Uhh about that... sis i just wanna go home...

Connie: WHAT? But we can't give up now...

Lucky: *Her eyes then turn dark black!: I DON'T CARE I JUST WANNA GO HOME! CONNIE: QUIT BEING SO SELFISH!:( Both: *Hissies!* Shantae: Wait is it true Lucky?

Lucky: *Her eyes goes back to normal! Then she lies!* Nononononono! It's not like that well kinda...

I'm not even going to make a pun about ice powers and cold feet here, because this fifth rate author still can't write any plot without reducing his own original characters to singular conflict tropes, hoping to keep this frankly retarded story from skipping straight to the ending.

Connie: Shantae are you crying?

Shantae: *Tears Up!* *And hessates alittle* WHAT ME WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT EVEN THOUGH LUCKY YOU PROMISED TO SAVE MY UNCLE WHO TOOK CARE OF ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG... CRYING I'M NOT CRY... *TEARS ALITTLE BIT MORE ING *STARTS TO SOB* ING *Then gets Angry* ING!! If that's what you want then FINE! IT'S FINE WE'LL DO IT OURSELVES! *Then she starts Crying!*

Shanae: *Grabs her bag!* Connie: Ive got the last crystal! *Looks at her sister* *Sigh...* Connie: We need ya luck!

Yeah, by virtue of needing someone around who's even more worthless than yourself, so as to look good by comparison.

All: *Then they all leave ;leaving her alone!* Lucky: *Sniff* Shantae: *Sniffs* Yeah cuz i don't need her...

Lucky: *Is Silent* Shantae: *Starts to feel guilty as we start leaving the ship!*

Is that 'we' as in those who are reading about watching the comic that you'll never bring into existence, or is it a 'we' of a slip of a gender-bend self-insertion fantasy, as Connie is obviously your favorite, overpowered, joke-spouting, action-taking instigator for everything?

Lucky: Who needs them? I'll be safe home with Gramps! While there *Feels Guilty* probably killed murdered! Or Being Slaves What do i do what do i do?

What you should do would be to explain to the readers why you suddenly acted half of your mental maturity - you know, like a five-year-old, and just wanted to put your foot down and go home, when you have shown no fucking method for doing so!!

Light Lucky: You can't give up on shantae! You made a promise remember?

Dark Lucky: PROMISE SHOMISE WHO CARES? I'M SURE THERE FINE!

Reusing the shoulder consciences, author? Really? What next, are you going to reuse the echoing voice repeats for a second time, too?

Lucky: *Is Silent!* Light Lucky: Think about it... Both: *Disappear*

Lucky: *She the saw a pic showing connie and her family at home* Hmm a video?

I'm starting to question how much of this story is just Lucky's rapidly changing hallucinations, with her sister having committed her to an mental asylum long ago.

Lucky: *Plays Video!* *Showing gramps!* Gramps: Is this thing on? Lucky if your watching this i heard you are saving scuttle town. I left a present for ya i'm grateful that i have 2 beautiful grandkids! Remember don't give Up! cuz your sister and your brother are gonna be the only family left cuz *Cough* I won't be here for much longer... *Cough...* I love You Lucky And Connie! & Goodluck! *Then the video ends...*

And another maybe-beyond-the-grave guilt trip played off as a pep-talk. Author, I'm doubting whether or not you realize it yourself, that you ripped off and shoddily copied in the only motivation source you already had forced onto Shantae!

Lucky: *Opens her present which is a Laptop! Thx Gramps! *Then starts crying* WHAT HAVE I DONE? IF I HADN'T BEEN SO SELFISH NONE OF THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN! *Sniffs*

Yeah, you're totally right. If you hadn't been selfish you wouldn't have gotten a present - what is going on?!

Lucky: *Sees pic again this time hearing Gramps voice as echoes!* Connie and your brother's the only family you got... don't give up! as echoes continued...

Not 'people rely on you'. Not 'the world is in danger'. Not 'it would be a nice thing to do'. No, it's 'you have a brother and a sister, so you gotta do this thing'. Beautiful.

Lucky: *Determined* I'M COMING SIS!:( *Then flies connie's emblem ship out of the volcano and back to scuttle Town!

Emblem ship? No. No, you don't have one. Because I say so, and the author can't even pretend he said you did. Even so, why the hell did you need Wrench in the first place?!

TO BE CONTINUED?

Last chapter coming up, and I'll be posting it in a day or so. The only thing that will continue until that is over is my agony.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:25 pm

Final chapter and the title promises a game show. It had better not rip off Gruntilda's quiz, as I might actually grow sick from reading further attempts of rhyming by this author. Here's Chapter 7, Pt2 The Game Show And the Final Battle!

*After Opening!*

An opening that we on the final chapter have yet to be told what contains. It's like this fanfic intentionally cripples its own failing entertainment value.

Last time on Connie Lucky & Shantae: A quest to save uncle Mimic! Our 3 hereos...

Shantae Connie & Risky boots had the last Crystal to save Mimic! Shantae felt alittle guilty...

Find out in this Last Episode!

Find out what, exactly? That you couldn't write a cohesive paragraph if your life depended on it?

*It starts where the girls are on Wreach flying back to scuttle town!*

It's 'Wrench', you idiot. You know it is, and yet you're still at the point of having spelled it right as many times as you've spelled it wrong!

Shantae: *Feeling Guilty* Connie do ya think i was being alittle hard on Lucky?

Connie: She's just homesick that's all... She does wanna help she just misses home that's all...

And as we all know, when you miss home, you won't give a fuck about anything and everyone but yourself, then throw a tantrum, and then not even bother clicking your heels together enough times to make your half-omnipotent tail take you there!

Shantae: I hope she's ok... *She said Sadly!*

Risky: Look! All: Gasp! *As they made it back they see a dark BIG EVIL Cloud!

Goatee and everything.

As they land they heard thunder!*

Shantae: Uh oh... *Then they get electrocuted in a comitic Way!* Connie: *Cough* Man that Burns!

Wreach: *Sreeches Painfuly!* All: AHHHHHH! *They then crash! as this happens Wrench turns back to normal!*

Sky: *Gasp!* WREACH! *Runs to him!* What happened?

What happened is that you teleported here, Sky. Or did you hitch a ride in a medallion to get here before everyone else?

Shantae: *Shakes her Head!* We were electrocuted! And Wreach got hurt!

Sky: I'll take care of Wrench! You and the others check on the town There's Trouble!

Yeah, the trouble being that the author had the antagonist kidnap all the citizens in the opening chapter and then forgot all about it, apparently.

All 3 girls: *Gasp!*

Vixon: Ahh your here... The show is already star... Wait where's Lucky? Nevermind!

Vixon: Let's begin...* Blaster starts to points at Bolo! Bolo: *Begins to Sweat!* Vixon: See this Blaster?

Shantae: That's one Big Blaster *She says nervously!*

Vixon: Oh it is... If you 3 don't DO as i say... Say goodbye to Bolo! Bolo: *Whimpers*

Eh, an acceptable loss. Honestly, this feels like the author got bored and changed the driving plot halfway through. Why couldn't it have been Uncle Mimic that got kidnapped to motivate Shantae to this point, instead of this resurrection stretch that hardly has had any payoff?

The trio then nod! Vixon: Good Stay RIGHT here! *Lights then turn off!*

Where are we?!

*Drum Rolls* Vixon: Ladies & Gentlemen Welcome to... *Lights turn back on showing an Audience!*

Audience: GUESS THAT FRANCHISE! Vixon: That's right the rules are Simple:

Tickle the author's infantile fancies as he reduces a murdering super robot to a game show host, got it!

Contestants guess the names of the game franchises by name Color and Age group of the Game!

And because this author makes his shit up mid-sentence as he goes along, and while it must be so difficult to figure out a franchise name by being told the name of it, the quiz he managed to write is of random trivia and not about guessing actual franchises. I'd tell this author to stick his keyboard up his ass, if it wasn't evident that its halfway up there already with this shit show!!

And you the Audience get to guess what name of the franchise Is! Today we have our Slaves I I mean Contestants!

It's not news to me that I'm mocking a fanfic where the implications of slavery isn't properly understood, author, but why do you go out of your way to show you haven't even understood the base definition for the word?

Vixon:: Consilia T Walts from Kidsland with Shantae & Risky boots! *Claps!*

Audience: *Starts Clapping at both Connie and Shantae! Connie: What's sup? Risky: Ahoy Me land Lubbers!

Yes, follow the author's deranged tune, rather than reacting to this like beings with common sense and dignity.

Audience: *Claps Harder for Riskey boots* Risky: *Sticks tongue out at Shantae!*

Shantae: *Does the Same* Connie: Quit fighting you 2!

Vixon: Let's Begin! Ok the first Question is What was the first Shantae game first on?

A cartridge that's older than this author, I bet.

Shantae: *Presses a Button* On the Game Boy Color! Vixon: But what year?

Shantae: 2002. Vixon: That is Correct! Audience: *Starts Clapping!*

Yeah, I see how difficult that question was, what with demanding that the main character of this franchise remembered base details about her own fucking game. This is not a quiz, it's the author proudly gushing about with his own fan-knowledge.

Vixon: That's 20 Point's for Shantae's Team! Shantae: Wahoo!

Yes, this will put them in a clear lead over that other team that's not here, since the point was for them to defeat the host of this impromptu show!

Vixion: Let's Continue... *The theme Dance Through Danger Starts Playing while doing a montage*

Vixon: What was Sonic Originally Supposed to Be?

Something that wouldn't have been one of the biggest sources of furry-themed porn, I suppose?

Risky: *Presses a Button* A Rabbit!

*Continues while beeping and answering Questions!* Bolo: You can do it Shantae!

*Many Questions Later!* Vixon: Ok last Question... *Looks at Cards!* No no no n... *Has an Idea!* Hmm...

Vixion: Ok Audience for the bonus Question... What is the name of Shantae's Mother?

It's almost like this author thinks, that by mixing in his own head-canon into this meta-knowledge reality, in a quiz about facts, that he then makes his made-up senseless bullshit accepted and canon by proxy. What other point would there be to this bullshit?

Audience; Ummm *Coughs* *Crickets Chirping* Vixon: Well...?

Shantae: *Whispers* Come on Guys please it's so Easy!

Why is it the audience who's answering anyway? Does the author not know how quizzes works either?!

Vixon: Oh well i guess they... *Before he tells them they lost someone steps up from the Crowd!* Macbat: *Squkweeks!*

Vixon: Yes Sir come up and tell us us your Name? Macbat: *Flies up to the front and write his name on a Piece of Paper* Vixion: Macbat from Macbat 64 am i correct? Macbat: *Nods.*

I don't even know this character and I already want to write a formal letter of condolences to his creators for the author dragging him into this fanfic.

Vixon: Great Sir! Now write down what Shantae's Mother Name is?

Macbat: *Writes down the word Tina then gives it to him!* Vixion: That is... CORRECT! And that was...

Audience: GUESS THAT FRANCHISE! Vixion: Thx for playing... *Then The Credits Show on Gramps's Tv!*

Image

Yay. The filler is over now, right? Get to the final battle, end the story, and go fuck yourself, in whichever order suits you best, author.

Gramps: Is that Connie? Vixon: And here's your prize good Sir. *Gives Macbat 20000000,0 Coins!*

Which I'm sure are all useless in a gem-based economy.

Macbat: *Waves goodbye then heads back Home!* Shantae: What do we win? Vixon: You 3 win...

Vixon: *Eyes then turn Red as he smirks evilly* THE DEATH PRIZE! Trio: *Falls Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Shantae: Ugh... my head *Then rubs it* Wha... *Tries to get Out!* HEY WE ARE IN A CAGE LET US OUT NOW!

YOUR ARE READING THIS FANFIC. THIS AUTHOR IS REALLY BAD. I WRITE LIKE THIS TO POINT OUT HOW MORONICALLY STUPID THIS EXPOSITION-DELIVERING DIALOGUE IS WHILE demonstrating how caps-lock works.

Vixon: *Eyes turn red Again!* NEVER! WITH YOUR SISTER OUT OF THE WAY I WE'LL RULE NOT ONLY THE TOWN BUT THE WHOLE WORLD! AS THAT SOON HAPPENS SOON ALL OF THEM ARE MY SLAVES I JUST ALREADY YOUR UNCLE TO POWER UP MY MACHINE!

I swear, 'All your base are belong to us' becomes fucking poetry by comparison.

SHANTAE: YOU'LL NEVER GET HIM OUTTA ME! *CROSSES HER ARMS!* VIXON: OH REALLY?

I don't know what anyone speaking wants to do with Mimic right now, and it should not be this convoluted when the man is still dead!!

CONNIE: Uh Oh... VIXON: I HEARD ABOUT YOUR UNCLE THAT HE DIDN'T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH...

Hah, jokes on you, Star Wars died just in time before this probably accidental reference could have a chance to harm it.

SHANTAE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? VIXON: THAT HE BUILD'S DUMB INVENTIONS...

News flash with the speed of Bolo's brain cells.

VIXON: AND HE DIDN'T TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR MOM HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE YOU!

SHANTAE: *BEGINS TO SHAKE THE CAGE VERY VILONTLY! GROWLS* Connie: Shantae now calm down...

Truly, shaking the cage is her only option, as transforming into a tiny animal that can fit between the bars wouldn't be able to contain all that anger.

Shantae: I'm trying to Connie but... Vixon: In 3 2... 1... Shantae: *Slowly turns into Nega Shantae! I MUST KILL HIM!:( *THEN BREAKES THE CAGE WITH SUCH FORCE AND CHARGES RIGHT HIM!

CONNIE: SHANTAE NO THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS!

NEGA SHANTAE: AHHHHHHHHH! Vixion: *Sprays her with Sleeping Gas!*

Shantae: *She slowly turns back to Normal as she then starts to fall asleep!*

I mean, it's just so obvious that Vixon wanted Shantae to turn into Nega Shantae so he could turn her back again, guys.

*Yawn* So tired... *She said tiredly then she falls asleep...*Snores!* Vixon: Night night Genie Girl hope you have a bad nightmare tonight! *He smirked evilly! Connie: There's still me Metal Boy!:(

Risky Boot remains the same rancid, toilet-scrubbing chopped liver in this fanfic as always.

Vixon: Well... I'm gladly to beat you Up! Connie: Too bad Vix me & Lucky are Immortal!

The only reason that this Mary Sue trait gets revealed now, is only because all conflict up until this point has been revolving around food and vomit!

Vixon: i see then we'll fight till one of us gives up! Connie: Deal! *Then the 2 began to start there Battle!*

Is the audience still there, or will the author forget about them, too?

Shantae: *Wakes Up! *Groans* Uhh... my head... *Then rubs her head* Huh why is it so Dark in here? *Looks Around!*

Shantae: Hello anyone here? *Gasp* Oh no i'm dead! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! WAAAAAH! *STARTS CRYING!*

Who do you want to entertain with this, author? It's certainly not the fans of the source material, as you are constantly reducing Shantae to a bawling infant cannibal incapable of complicated thoughts, even turning off potential fans who have yet to pick up the games. You've made Bolo have more dignity than Shantae at this point!

?: Come Now my child no need to threat you are not dead but asleep... Shantae: *Sniff* Oh. Then who are you? *She asked Nervously*

?: *She Smiled* I am... *Then reveals herself* Tina!

Note: Tina is a Genie Guardian not Shantae's Mother... She looks like Shantae but more older and she's an adult and a full Genie only difference She has Green Hair and has Purple Pants and she has Brown/Black Skin Color Too!

Anyway back to the Story

Yes, back to the story that has on multiple occasions, and even in this very chapter, outright presented Tina as Shantae's mother, first time done so by the author's narrative itself, while also stating her to be Uncle Mimic's wife, lest we forget that pointless brain fart. Retcons at its finest. Or do we call that 'subverting expectations' these days?

Shantae: Are you my Mom? Tina: Sadly no Shantae. Shantae: Oh... then where am i?

Tina: Your in the Genie Relm Welcome Back! Shantae: *Looks Around the darkness to blue showing the rest of the Relm!*

And that's all description we'll be given, isn't it? The color blue. Just fuck off author, you incompetent dunce.

Shantae: *Gasps* *Then she flashes back to the first Game's Ending remembering how she first met them!* *Flashback then ends* Shantae: The Genie Relm! I'm Back! But Tina where's my uncle?

Shantae is currently unconscious, and dream travel to the Genie Realm is not a thing, author. If it was, that would neuter a core aspect of Shantae's character in being closed off from the place where her mother is!

Tina: He's back in his Body waiting for you!

Turns out the afterlife and limbo is not a problem, since Mimic can just resurrect himself, I guess.

Shantae: Awsome but why am i here?

Tina: There is trouble AHHH! *then gets pushed over by Nega Shantae!*

Nega Shantae: Hello Shantae! *She smirks Evilly*

Shantae: What are you doing here? Nega Shantae: Me? Oh nothing except maybe to fight You!

Shantae: What's the Catch? *She says Angerly!*

Catch? It's not a tradeoff, you ditz, she's fighting you! Fuck me, the only way this author writes dialogue is just by pureeing scripted lines he thought cool and scattering them in without cohesion!

Nega Shantae: Here's the Deal...

Nega Shantae: If I Win I'll not only destroy this Relm but you'll have to give up your powers! Shantae: And if I Win?

Nega Shantae: You'll get to learn an ability by yours Truly. *She says Smugly*

You two are supposed to be the same person in this fanfic!!

You'll also get back to your Goody to shoe friends like Molo! Shantae: It's Bolo. Nega Shantae: *Rolls her eyes* Whatever... And your friend is in trouble she smirks again evilly!* *Then they show Connie and vixon still battling*

Shantae: *Gasp* CONNIE! Both: *Panting* Vixon: Your pretty strong for a Cat Girl!

Connie: *Hisses Angerly!* *Then she shoots fire from her hand!*

Vixon: Ow! my hair!

"My perfect robot hair."

Connie: How's that for a Little Cat Girl?

Sometimes I feel bad for mocking the work of an author who's this obviously mentally regressed, but when he can't even understand how compliments work, what am I even supposed to do?

Vixon: *Growls* *Then he throws Connie to a building!*

Connie: Woahh! *Bangs!* Vixon: Jackpot! *goes near her and then gets kicked back by connie's Tail!

Shantae: OH NO SHE NEEDS MY HELP! *SHE THEN STARTS ATACKING HER!*

NEGA SHANTAE: NICE! **THEN THEY BOTH FIGHT* SHANTAE: *DOGES HER ATTACK!* MISSED ME! *SHE SAID SMUGLY!* NEGA SHANTAE: *GROWLS* *PUNCHES SHANTAE NEAR A DOOR!*!

A genie door, which makes it just that much more important for it to be mentioned of all things.

Nega Shantae: Say goodbye to your powers and this Relm! Shantae: Mmmm... *Growls* Haaa! *Attacks her from Behind!* *Transforms into a Elephant and bangs her to a near Wall!

Excuse me, what the hell is Shantae suddenly doing transforming into things? Has she forgotten what fanfic she's in?

Nega Shantae: Alright kid you Won! Shantae: WooHoo! Nega Shantae: Alright! *Does the Kangaroo Dance!*

The what now?

*Then she transforms into a Kangaroo then starts hopping! Then goes back to Normal!* See?

Shantae: Awsome new Transformation cool! *Does the Kangaroo Dance and then transforms into a kangaroo!

Shantae: *Hops around like one for a bit...* *Then she turns back to normal.* Cool!

Okay, since Shantae by game canon can turn into a bouncing blobfish, a gem-producing jug, and a small energy-blasting vehicle, this isn't that much of a stretch, but why the fuck is a kangaroo of all things the one form that's so important to be bestowed at the edge of the final battle?

Nega Shantae: No need to thank me Goody 2 Shoes! But i do request another Rematch! Shantae: Your On! *She said confidently!* Nega Shantae: Alright See ya! *Then She Leaves!* Shantae: I guess There was no danger at all...

I don't care what gives you that idea, but either way you are defeating the purpose and weight of this entire scene. I'm sure Lord of the Rings would have its feature-length ending be even more thrilling by Frodo turning to the camera and announcing that they had in truth never been able to fail.

Sorry about the relm Tina!

Tina: That's ok Shantae Me and the rest of the genies we'll fix it! You should go back Shantae Connie Needs You.

Shantae: Your Right Tina! See ya *Runs to the Exit!* Tina: Bye Shantae come back anytime! *She then waves goodbye to the half Genie!*

I can't get over this easily accessible Genie Realm bullshit. This would be the same as if Harry Potter's parents not only had been alive all along, but that they had been living as the next door neighbors to the Dursleys, too!

Shantae: *Slowly then wakes Up!* *Yawns...* I'm Ba *Then sees vixon's Missile heading to her way!* AAAAAAAAAACK!:-OO_O Then she Quickly Ducks her head!* *Then she get back up again!* Phew!๐Ÿ˜“

Connie: *Pant Pant!* Your finally Awake Shantae! Great! A little help? Shantae: *Protects Her!* Sure!

Risky::*Tries to slash vixon with her Sword! But Vixon Thows her to Sky's Hatchey! *Bangs!* Risky: *Groans as she rubs her Head!*

Vixon: Now that You Goody Goodys have my attention! Let's Finish this!

Vixon: *Then he turns on her Black Generator with Mimic in it!* YES I DID IT THE POWER IS ALL MINE!

Sure, whatever, if you say so. I'm sure the generator can produce so much power with a senior citizen inside it.

Me: NOT ALL THE POWER VIX... VIXON: HUH? Me: Sammy & Friends from above! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WAIT HE IS A *CLANK!* YOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY FOOT MY POOR FOOT! Robot!

Fucking wonderful. Put the cringe dial to eleven with your real-life self-insert, why don't you?

Connie: Hour Heroine everybody! *Rim Shot!*

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Anyhoo Pun aside what took ya so long four Eyes?

Me: Lanky told me what happened so that's why we came as quickly as we can!

You watched the events unfold on your television screen and then teleported to Kidsland. Lanky didn't know shit, and anyone reading this would know this. Why doesn't the author know, then?!

Charlotte: Yup! That's why we are here! Me: That's right Hon!

'Me'? Author, you couldn't even bother pretend that you were writing this for anyone else to indulge in, by bothering to refer to this vacuous character of yourself by name?!

So Connors whose your Metal Head Friend? *Points to Vixon!* Vixon: *Growls Impatiently!*

Connie:: This is... Thunder Queen: VIXON!:( Connie: You know him your Majesty? Vixon: Tell her the Whole TRUTH! *Crosses his Arms!* Thunder Queen: *Sighs...* Yes Connie it's true i do know him.

Shantae: Eggplain please! *Rim Shot* *Then she giggles!*

Let me give you a response in a language you are actually proficient in, author. ๐Ÿ–• ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿพ ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿฟ

Thunder Queen: Well Shantae... It happened a Very long time ago... *Then it shows the Thunder Queen & Thunder King as little kids!*

Yes, that's what we need two seconds before the final battle; flashback exposition that will bear even less impact than everything else up until now.

Thunder Queen: Me and my brother were very young... you see we went to this laboratory and...

*At a Laboratory*

Thunder Princess: *Hops like a Frog!* Your turn Brother...

Oh, right, the vapid, late-arriving woman of royalty has a brother that's supposed to be an antagonist in Kidsland. I'm only doing this exposition in the author's place because I have to consciously remind myself how much he actually sucks at selling his own made up self-indulgent reality here.

Thunder Prince: Ok Big sis... *Does the same like her older sister!* *Then starts to rolling forward until he hit something!* *Clink!* Ouch! *Rubs his head what did i hit? ... ! *Then he sees a giant robot!* Hey sis look at this huge robot! He said as her sister came a look...

Thunder Princess: Wow it's so huge... *Then she blew the dust of the robot then she sneezes!* AHHHCHOO! *Sniffs* *She then accidentally electrocutes the robot in the process turns it's self on!*

Thunder Prince: What did you do? Thunder Princess: I didn't mean to do it!

In that case, I won't have a problem with you sneezing a bit harder to use Self-Destruct instead, Miss Electrode.

*Then the robot slowly walks up to the 2 kids.. Who has Woken me from my slumber? Both:... Robot: Well? I'm waiting! Thunder Prince: She did! Thunder Princess: WHAT? *She said Angerly!* *Then the robot grabs her Up!*

Robot: Is that true? Thunder Princess: Uh huh... *She said Nervously!* Robot: Weill... As a thx i'll give you 1 wish!

I don't know in what way you feel she rubbed you to get that kind of genie treatment, and I don't want to find out.

Thunder Princess: Yay! Thunder Prince: OH COME ON! THAT'S NOT FAIR SHOULDN'T I GET A WISH TOO?:(

Robot: Yes you too! Thunder Prince: Yes! Thunder Princess: Who are you? Vixon: I am Vixon a robot made by scientists! And your Parents! Thunder Princess: *Gasp!* Mom? Vixon: Yup! Your mom was here weeks ago in this very lab! and he built Me!

'ร‚ยYour mother used the scientists to get a sex change, and then he built me.'ร‚ย

Thunder Prince: Cool! Vixon: Anyway what's your wish kid? Thunder Prince: An Xbox One! Vixon: Great Wish! *Muttering to himself quietly Better then the freaking Virtual Boy!* Anyway Xbox one coming Up!

Since the author is so happy about quizzes, here's a question for you. What year did the XBox One get released? 2013. Either Kidsland is in the year 2020, or its frog-hopping leader can hardly yet be in her teen years.

Vixon: *He then goes to his closet and then we see All of the game consoles that he Obviously Stole!* Hmm... Let's See...

Yes, all the game consoles that he obviously stole, while having been created weeks ago, and needed a fart of lightning to turn himself on with. I'm starting to think maybe the author has a tiny problem with writing anything remotely believable.

Vixon: Ah Ha! I've found it! *Grabs the Xbox.* Here ya go kid! Lucky: Hey wait a minute... *It pauses showing Connie & Lucky... Lucky: (On the Right) What does getting an Xbox have to do anything? Thunder Queen: (In the Middle) Well uh... *she said nervously...* Connnie: (On the Right) Sis don't be so rude! We need to find out what happened!

Yeah, Lucky, stop being a dick about the importance of continuity and events of the past, when the author has forgotten that he didn't write in your arrival to the battle after your selfish, rug-pissing hissy-fit.

Lucky: *She says as she blushes Embarrassingly!* Sorry your Majesty.:( Thunder Queen: That's ok Lucky! Connie: Anyway Please Continue your majesty... Thunder Queen: Right! On with the story so anyway...

*Then the flashback continues.*

Because the author felt the need to point out how useless it is when being halfway through it.

Thunder Prince: Woohoo! An Xbox Awsome thx Vixon!:D

Vixon: Heh... your welcome kid! Now it's your turn Sweetie... what is your wish?

Thunder Princess: Hmm... *Ding!* I wish for Shantae! The gameboy One...

You know, the one in which Shantae and Risky Boots definitely didn't meet in for the first time.

Vixon: Sure! *Then he walks back to his closet and tries to find the game for her!*

So, Vixon is just winging a bootleg yet successful Santa Clause gig out of the kindness of his robotic heart? What am I missing here? Oh right, common sense.

Thunder Princess: *Looks Around and explores the lab!* Golly i didn't realize how big this Lab is... Hmm? What's this?

Thunder Princess: Huh... a piece of Paper...? *Then she unfolds the piece of paper... And then reads it.* *Ahem...* Project Genie And Pirates? Hmm... What could it mean?

Unfathomably less than the author think it does, I'm sure.

Vixon: What could it what?

Thunder Princess: Uhh... Nothing! *She said as she put the piece of paper in her Pocket!* It's nothing Vixon! So where is that Shantae Game then? *She Said...*

Vixon: Oh Yeah here it is... *Then he gives her the Gameboy Shantae game!* Here ya Go... *He said as he smiled!*

Did he happen to gift her a Gameboy with that? Fuck, what am I saying, you two brats are royalty, what are doing using a wish for getting mundane shit?!

Thunder Princess: Uhh... Thx! *She said to Vixon as she ran to find her brother still playing his game!*

Playing his game? Author, do you know how an Xbox works?

*She said to her Brother!* Hey Bro we gotta go home Now!

Thunder Prince: Aww Big Sis... Do we have to go? I'm about to finish Conker Live & Reloaded! *He said whining.*

Oh, and better let him get to play the swear-free Kazooie card-game DLC too, Princess Mareep.

Thunder Princess: YES WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW! *She said Angerly as she took her brother and there games Home!*

Thunder Prince: *Groans...* Oh finnnneeeee! Bye Vix... *He said as he waved as he was then grabbed by her Sister...* Woah! See ya... *He said as they then left by her sister's fast Speed!*

Okay, what's with the contradictory gender pronouns throughout this fanfic? I know it's not binary any longer, but it's not that hard to keep track of only two.

Vixon: Bye! *He said as he waved...*

*The Camara then cuts to the siblings room*

So, what we are supposed to take away from that scene is that the main bad guy give toys to children, and that the beloved rulers of Kidsland are respectably unlikeably bland and blandly unlikable? Stolen toys, sure, but the author had to jarringly interject that fact, otherwise this vapid scene would technically paint Vixon as wholesome.

Thunder Queen VO: Me and my little bro were trying to find on what Project Genie & Pirate could mean for Years...

*Then flashback Ends!*

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Where is the author going with this shit? I know I said going into this flashback that it hardly would bear any impact, but the author didn't even try to make it connect. He had Vixon insinuate its importance by spouting another line the author thought cool that he heard from somewhere else, pretending there was a need to inject this fourth pointless plot-hook of 'Project Genie & Pirates', that hints at nothing to this point. Not the Black Generator. Not the murder of Mimic. Not the kidnapping of Scuttle Town. Shantae and Risky Boots has not even had any relevance in this story. No one has had any relevance, in fact!!

Thunder Queen: And So that's what happend...

Lucky: Nice Story your Majasty.

Thunder Queen: Thank You... That's also one of the reasons why I brought You 2 along to find some Answers... So keep your eye out everyone Especially you Shantae... Cuz i don't wan't you guys Sleeping on the Job!

This is like asking Mario to look for answers when standing on the Bowser drop-bridge of the last castle, you ninny.

Sky: Don't worry Me Shantae Wreach & Bolo we'll keep an eye out we promise! Right Shantae?

Shantae: *Still Asleep after the Thunder Queen's Story!* Sky: *Who is now Annoyed... at Shantae!*

Lucky: *Starts Yelling!* SHANTAE WAKE UP!:(

Shantae: *Then she wakes up after hearing lucky's Scream!* GaaaaaaaH! I I'm Up your majasty! I was totally Listening Right Lucky?

'ร‚ยThe author appreciates me so much that he makes me the butt of every lame joke he makes up on the spot, isn't this fanfic exiting?'ร‚ย

Lucky: *She says as she rolls her Eyes...* Sure Shantae you Totally weren't falling Asleep... Right Sis?

Connie: MMmmm Hmmm...

Both: Whatever you say Shantae!

Shantae: *Then blushes Red!* Heh heh heh... I'll keep that in mind your Majasty!

Thunder Queen: Thank you!

Me: Uh your Majasty Big Robot dystoying the town at 5:00!

Not only is this the first instance of us even getting a hint at where anyone is according to someone else, but what the hell are you doing turning your back towards the rampaging senior citizen exploiter?

Thunder Queen: Oh thank you for reminding me...

Vixon: Well now that story time is done time to get Started! MINIONS ATTACK! *Then his Minions start to Attack!*

'ร‚ยNow, that people know I give presents to children so as to give me two but separate dimensions as a villain, we can commence the final battle!!'ร‚ย

Me: Alright Guys let's Go! I'll get the Machine. * I said running!*

Charlotte: Hon Wait!

Me: *Then i get hit by the Genarator Eletrocuting Myself!* Aieeeeeeeeeee! *Then i get trown by the genrator to my wife!*

Charlotte: Honey! Are you ok?

Me: Ugh... Yeah i'm fine...

Lucky: We'll Avenge You!

So, author, you are including yourself to be a useless danger-magnet that gets hurt a lot to motivate other characters and earn pity points from readers? At least Francis the Snivy stole a Pokรฉmon skin-suit to give his martyr-complex a sense of identity, you plank of wood.

All: Everyone tries to dystroy the Generator but with not such luck!

Lucky: Ahhhh! *Then is in a cage!* Ugh... That thing is too Freaking Strong!

You act like we are supposed to know what a Black Generator is and what it does, author! I can't even suspect you to be mistakenly referring to the Dynamo from the latest game, because last I checked the game didn't have translation errors for Americans!!

Connie: I can't Belive its the End... How about one final Hug?

Lucky: I'm up for that! Shantae: Me too! *The trio then Hug! But what Connie and lucky didn't know that there Emblems started glowing and then the Duo then go into Shantae's Hair!*

Completely natural, of course, nothing that needs establishing or even considerable explanation. Fuck you, author.

Lucky: Ugh... where are we?

Connie: I think we are inside of Shantae's hair! Lucky: Cool! But why are our Emblems glowing Sis?

Connie: Hmm I think there trying to tell us Something Luck!

Lucky: Oh and what's that? *She Asked*rted

Connie: That they want us to fuse...

This sister-incest doling fanfic's age rating needs to be bumped up a few notches already as it is, author.

Lucky: *Is Shocked* F FUSE NOW BUT WE HAVEN'T FINISH WORKING ON IT YET! *Then she get's cut off by her Older Sister!*

Connie: Lucky look i'm just as nervous as you are too! But we don't have any other Option...

Yeah, because the fight scene, where not even the commanded minions were mentioned to as much as throw a punch, really showed you exhausting all your options.

You and me both know we are not as powerful as Vix is not if we work Together as a team! So Luckia i ask you that are you ready to beat some Robotic Butt with Me?

Lucky: *Is now dertimend* Yes Concia i'm sure Am!

I'm more inclined to think these constant name-changes are due to split personality disorders rather than the author keeping them in check. I guess it gives a bigger impact to Vixon's boast of somehow knowing ALL their names back in Chapter 1.

*Then she gives out her hand! To her Older Sibling.*

Connie: Great! *She said proudly to her Younger Sister as she does the same thing with her Hand!* 1...

Lucky: 2...

Both: 3! *They said as the 2 then grab eachother's Hands as there Emblems started to Glow real Shiny!*

Both: Cool!

*At the Battle*

Where everyone had seen Shantae devour her two friends, but didn't find it odd since she hadn't stuffed her face with meat for five minutes.

Shantae: Wha Why is my hair glowing? *Then she starts Floating...* A A AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *She said as she starts to transform*

Vixon: I wonder who is gonna die first! *Gasps* Wh Who are you are you are you Shantae or Connie & Lucky?

Trio: We are FIRE N ICE TAE! *They said as Shantae's hair Started to finish transforming and then her hair started glowing a mix of Firey Orange & Ice cold Blue!* Bring it on Vixon!:(

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I find myself constantly put before a wall of intangible gibberish that I'm attempting to forge jokes from. This braindead story just had two original characters get inexplicably sucked into an unestablished pocket dimension inside Shantae's hair - for apparently no other reason beyond that somehow counting as fusion-participation for Shantae, when the two dingbat catgirls uses their magic emblems for unforeshadowed fusion to take place. And the result, because of the inept, blank and broken writing, is barely able to get it across as anything but colored hair-extensions to let Shantae cosplay as the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time fusion boss Twinrowa!!

Vixon: Gladly... *Then he Charges at Fire n Ice tae!*

Fire N Ice tae:*Then she shoots a fireball at the Robot!*

Vixon: *Is Surprised* How did they...? Hmph! *Then he starts using his Jetpack!*

Fire n Ice Tae: Hmph! *She then flys to where Vixon is...*

Vixon: *He then shoot a Huge Missle at Fire N Ice Tae!

Fire N Ice Tae: *She then summons a shield out of her hand and Blocks Vixon's Missle!*

Because of course the misspelled drink can fly and summon shields from out of nowhere, I mean why wouldn't she be able to do that?

Vixon: *Then he ducks his Head!* Ha Ha ya Missed me!

Fire N Ice Tae: Heh... *Then she points Vixon down on where the Missle is going!*

This just in, the English language has no word to describe redirecting projectiles in a different direction away from yourself, aside from the word 'block'. Deflect, author, you utter loon!!

Vixon: Huh? *Then he looks Down!* GaaaH!

*Then the Missle goes down to the Black Generator! Making the Generator Explode... It then shows Uncle mimic who is still dead which his body is now on the Ground!*

A good thing then that Tina established Mimic's spirit was back in his body, and that it makes so much more sense to derive power from the corpse of a dead senior citizen. Am I just reading three different stories at once here?

Vixon: Grr... Well played! We'll continue our fight on the Ground!:(

Fire N Ice Tae: *She nodded in agreement. as she then landed on the ground!*

Vixon: Your not getting your Uncle back... Even if it's Halloween!

This is the level of humor this author has. Having nonsensical non-sequiturs being spouted mid-combat by the villain, probably because the tension of this epic fight was getting too suspenseful for his pea-sized brain.

Fire N Ice Tae: We'll See... *She said with a Smug!*

Vixon: *Starts Attacking her... and then he throws her in the Air!* Fire N Ice Tae: AHHHH!

Vixon: Gotcha! *Then he uses his Jetpack to fly up to meet Fire N Ice Tae!*

Fire N Ice Tae: *Before Vixon Attacks him She does a Firey Punch to the ground then...*

How nice of the ground to follow both of them up into the air after it was declared they'd keep fighting on it. Is this what happens when you go back to correct your shitty writing but forget to remove the stuff you changed, author?

BAMMMMMM! *It Exploded with the punch that Hard!* Vixon: Nice!

*They kept fighting in Dragon Ball Z & Naruto Style!*

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Wait, that's what we are supposed to envision right now? That is what the author has been attempting to emulate through his narrative before defaulting to just telling us it is so? Step down Stephen King. Out of the way, Edgar Allan Poe. The true master of written horror has been found, because I'm shaken to my fucking core right now!!

*They continued fighting until...*

Both: *Panting!* Fire N Ice Tae: Give Up? Vixon: Not ye ye yet *He Lied!* *As he tried to shoot one more Missle but his Arm Blaster Was Busted!*

But that's not lying, author. Is every day opposite day in your la-la land?

Fire N Ice Tae: See ya later Vixon! *She said as she then transformed into a Kangaroo and uses her feet to kick Vixon high high up in the Sky!*

Vixon: Vixon blasting off Again! Fire N Ice Tae: Alright! *Then she does a Tumbs Up!* *Then it shows an A Rank!*

And that's the payoff to the conflict, the kangaroo, and this fanfic in general, isn't it? References to anime and games not affiliated with the actual source material.

Fire N Ice Tae: *She then defueses which seperates the trio!*

Sky: Connie & Lucky that was you?

Connie: Yeah it was us!

Lucky: *Who is still alittle Dizzy!* Yeah Sky... uh uh sky's i can't tell there is three or four of you Now!

Connie: But we mainly couldn't have done it without Shantae... She helped out too!

The main heroine of the franchise, protector of this world, "helped out"ร‚ย. Fuck you, author!!

Shantae: *Smiles* Oh i almost forgot about my Uncle we need to revive him!

Trio: *Then they go to Uncle Mimic's Body!* Hope this Works!

Shantae: *Sighs...* Lucky: You ok Shantae?

Shantae: Yeah i'm Alright! I'm gonna be ok Lucky! *Then she puts the five Crystals on the Ground!*

Just anywhere on the ground or perhaps near the smear that should be left from the exploded corpse?

*Then the Crystals then Glow around him and lifts up Mimics Body then Revives him!**Then the Crystals stop glowing and are now on the Ground!*

*Then the clouds go back to normal and it's no longer dark Anymore... It shows the Sunny Day once Again!*

Mimic: *Slowly wakes up!* Ugh... 5 more minutes sky i'm...

Sky? First there was your genie wife and Shantae's not-mother, and now I'm supposed to find you're used to be woken up by Shantae's bachelorette friend? Just exactly how many pieces of ass are you tapping, Mimic?

Shantae: *Runs to her uncle...* Uncle is that really you...

No, he's a Kingdom Hearts fan-character, Cimxim, you dumb broad! What's with these context-blind lines, author?

*Sobbing* I REALLY MISSED YOU I WAS SOOOO WORRIED!:( *She said hugging him really Tight!*

Mimic: Shhh Shh there there Shantae i missed you too! *He said Hugging back at his Niece!*

Lucky: What a Happy Ending!^_^ *She said blowing her nose while shedding a tear from her eye!*

Then why does this chapter still keep going for longer than the entirety of Chapter 6 from this point?

Connie: Yep it sure is! *Ahem*

Mimic: Oh you must be Connie and Lucky! I want to thank you for saving the town and me of course...

Lucky: Not a problem... Connie: Yup Mr. Mimic we are just happy to help!

Thunder Queen: But you 3 need some kind of reward...;)

Well, then give them an Xbox and a Shantae game, because what other things are there to wish for?

For Connie and Lucky Some tons of dough for you trouble. *Then gives the Duo the Bag of Money!*

Connie: Sweet Lucky we are Loaded! Lucky: Wahooo! We are Rich!:D

Rich and immortal. Imagine that.

Thunder Queen: And for Shantae... Some Wayfowrad Games! *Then she tosses her the bag of Games from Wafoward!* Shantae: *She then grabs it...* Wow thx your Majasty!

Isn't that like giving Bill Gates a free copy of Windows?

Connie: Well i guess this is it then... It was fun working with ya Shantae! *Fistsbumps Shantae!* Shantae: *Fistsbumps back.* You too Connie! And Lucky you i heard that you want my Autograph right? *Gives her a Picture with her Singiture!*

Lucky: Yessss! It's a picture of us on Risky's Ship! I also have for you Shantae!

Shantae: Oh what's that? Lucky: This! *Gives her a Purple Emblem!* Sweet an Emblem with my Matching Color!

Connie: Yep Anytime ya need us just give us a Call! Lucky: Yep... I'll miss you the most Shantae!

What will you miss most about her? Her eating habits? The way she puked while watching you confess your love to your sister? How you never actually got to fight alongside her?

Trio: GROUP HUG!:D *They said hugging eachother!*

Sky: Speeking of Risky where is she cuz your stuff is Gone! Trio: WHAT?:-O

Risky: Looking for these? *She said showing there Bags!* Lucky: MY STUFF! Both: *Ahem* Your Stuff Lucky? *They said glaring her Angerly!* Lucky: *Nervous* I I mean OUR Stuff that's what i said heh... *She said as she rubs her Head!*

Connie: Better! AFTER HER!:( Shantae&Lucky: Right!:(

Shantae: *Belly Dances as she transforms into her Harpe form! & flys to her Ship!*

You mean the ship that the whale ate? How about confronting Risky right here in front of you, you know, where she has to be to participate in this dialogue?!

Connie: Come On Luck! Hop On! Lucky: Right behind ya Sis! *She said hopping on her Older Sister's Back!* Connie: WAAHOOOOO! *She said running really fast to Risky's Ship!*

All: *Laughs!* Me: Who knew?

Who knew what? That this story would be a failed comedy of random nonsense and random utterances pulled out of other contexts and conversations to never connect properly in this story?

*Then a Black circle fades pitch Black showing the comic Logo!*

Told you this was a failed comic instruction script.

*Then it Dissapears showing the Duo's home Again!*

*Back at Connie & Lucky's treehouse!*

Lucky: What a Pawsome Adventure eh Sis?

And a tongue in cheek 'Yiff in hell, furfag' to you, too.

Connie: Yup it sure was Lucky! *Then sees another portal* Another One?

Lucky: Oh no not Again!:( *She Said!* *Then she sees a green Chameleon and a Small Purple Bat!*

Because dragging Banjo and Kazooie into this fanfic would only confuse people at this point.

Lucky: Who are you 2? Yooka: I'm Yooka & this is my buddy Laylee! Laylee: Sup?

Lucky: Hiya! I'm Lucky and this is my sister Connie!

Connie: Who's the small dumb Bat?

She just got introduced two lines ago, you bitch, stop being rude.

Laylee: Who's the Ugly Cat Lady with the Blue Shirt?

Wait, she's wearing a shirt?

Yooka: LAYLEEE!:( Laylee: Sorry!

Yooka: Anyway do ypu 2 know where the next Portal is? *He Asked...* Lucky: Right next to ya you cant miss it!;)

Oh, so they didn't come out of it? I give up, this author could state the sky and the ground to be swapping places and give just as much description and justification.

Yooka: Thx! See ya Later Come on Laylee! Laylee: Coming Yooka! *She said flying to his Head!*

Connnie: *Smirks at Laylee* See ya Laylee! Laylee: See ya btw you got some nice Snark in ya! Connie: Thx!:)

Both: *Then the duo the goes in the portal by using Yooka's Tail!* *Then they leave & the Portal Dissapears!*

Random cameo characters that suck the potentially only metaphorical dicks of the author's semi-self-inserts, was really what needed to close off this glorious story, of course.

Connie: They are a Hilarious duo Especially Laylee right Sis!? Lucky: Yup & I wonder why? *She said as she rolls her Eyes Playfully!*

Does the concept and use of the question mark truly escape you this much, author?

Anyhoo wanna play on our Intruments while Shapeshifting as Yooka & Laylee?

Would you mind keeping your sexual roleplay confined to the bedroom, please?

Connie: Sure! *She said joining her sister!* See ya in the Sequel! *She as she waves to the Audience!*

Both: *Shapeshifts as Yooka Laylee! Connie playing a Guitar & Lucky playing a Flute!* *Then they play the Main theme for Yooka Laylee! As it Zooms out of the treehouse!*

I'm sure there was a point to that. And with my luck, someone has to vomit it up and eat it again before I get it!

*In Scuttle Town at an Abandon Old Ship!*

?: CURSE THAT GENIE AND HER DUMB FRIENDS AND MY OWN STUDENT RISKY BOOTS? *He said Banging his Hands on a Table Angrly!:(* What am i gonna do? Hmm...

The Pirate Master, slumming and hiding like a two-bit, weak gimmick villain, when having him being anything but put in the ground would literally and quite noticeably plagues the world itself? You can't be serious, author. It's not that you can manage to disappoint me further, I'm more concerned for how many more of your stains I have to bleach out of my memory of this franchise.

*Then he sees a Robot falling in the Ship!* Vixon: Ugh... My head! *He said rubbing his head...*

?: What are you doing On MY Ship? *He said Angerly!* Vixon: I'm Vixon and i got a Proposition for Ya! Remember a Half Genie called Shantae Right?

Okay, is Santa Vixon just omniscient, and the author - of course - didn't know the word to let us know that?

?: Yes? *He Said!* Vixon: Here! *Gives him a piece of Paper!* ?: *Then he opens the Piece of Paper...* Ahh! I see... Heh... I'm The Pirate Master! Vixon: Nice to meet Ya! *Shakes his Hand!* Pirate Master: *Does the Same!*

Yes, yeah, that's kind of how shaking hands work, author, you moronic simpleton.

Get ready Risky you and your Genie Friend prepare to feel My & Vixon's Wrath! *Laughs Evily*:(๐Ÿ˜ˆ

*Then it fades to Pitch Black! Along with a...*

To be Continued?

I'm not even willing to call your chapters continuations of their prior, author, that's how shit you are with continuity and narration in general.

This fanfic is a shitfest and a half, mostly because it feels like a new different at each chapter, but the gender-confusion, misspellings, and all around idiotic attempts at humor at the expense of credibility, likability, and comprehension of the characters didn't help it either. Most of the time people spoke like they were not even sharing same audible range, with erroneous statements produced as if they had been for the purpose of trailer shots rather than actual dialogue. And most atrocious of all was the narration format, where the author couldn't make up his mind with every other paragraph in how to pander to himself to envision a comic he's probably never going to have made, and thankfully so. I'll probably not mock anything else by this author in the future, but know that hubworld33 still produces fanfics to this day, and they aren't showing signs of improvement.

As far as what I'll mock next, I'm debating with myself whether to return to some of my older mocks, which have had their fanfics updated since I last looked them over, or to take up something new. I guess I'll find out in time.

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