Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

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Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Sep 09, 2018 10:30 am

Well, while I'm working on brushing up on the content of some of my old mocks, where new chapters have cropped up, I'll be taking on this thing.

Okay, jumping into this relatively blind, I'm only half certain that this is even mockable. A first glance deems this to be utter trash. A curious investigation led me through the author's DeviantArt profile, and I learnt more than I know how to deal with. hubworld33, as he calls himself on fanfiction.net, is a weird case for me. Crappy free-drawn Paint images with what I think are supposed to be recognizable shapes. Photos of the author holding up even worse pencil drawings on lined paper. A favorite list filled with various vore and foot fetish art. A profile journal chronicling various hobby projects, such as shitshow GameMaker games, fan-comic dub casting requests, and homemade anti-bullying PSAs starring his OC blob Mazz Jackrabbit rescuing anime dress-up avatars - I think. The cringe and threat of YouTube algorithms branding me for the incomprehensible knowledge I would further glean, made me stop my bile fascination at that point.

I am left very confused, to say the least. All this guy has produced tells of the approach of an eight-year-old without a filter after just discovering the Internet, yet his voice and what little can be glanced of features tells of an older teen. I am only here to mock the fanfic, I reassure you, but I feel the need to lay all that I know on the table, because otherwise this entire thing comes across as a troll-fic bordering on crack parody. But method acting like this can't even be found in the most pretentious venue in all of Hollywood. Audio, images, YouTube longplays, comment conversations, fetish fanfics, screencaps of his mailed conversations with Nintendo of requests for Daisy to get her own game, with all of it having at max a three year track record, and I fear we could have a new, future ChrisChan on our hands with this clusterfuck. Maybe his heart is in the right place, and his hobbies harmless, but the lack of quality is astounding. You'll see soon enough. But enough of that, on to the victim rather than the perpetrator.

Shantae. A cute and determined half-genie belly dancer, the defender of Scuttle Town and savior of Sequin Land. A literal Arabian Nights style heroine, able to attack with hair-whipping and by transforming into various animal and monster shapes to save the day, while the metroid-vania style games skirt the high end of a teen rating with fourth wall leaning humor and occasionally littering of fetish fuel implicated situations. How does bikini-clad girls bathing in saliva sound? Anyway, I rather like the series, having played all the main ones, though finding it a headscratcher to figure out the loose storyline and lore reboots with the recent entry. In any case, I think this fanfic won't accomplish much to impress me, ergo the reason that I decided to post this mock and continue it. Ret-2-Go. Here's Chapter 1, Connie & Lucky Meets Shantae!

One beautiful Morning in KidsLand Connie and her sister Lucky were finding something to do...

What's KidsLand and who are these people you may ask? Beats me. Connie and Lucky are OCs, that much I know. KidsLand, however, as my sad but only guess, is probably the setting for a special-eds video program local to wherever the author lives, because Google has turned up bubkiss.

We then cut to Connie & Lucky's Treehouse!

Lucky: *While playing with dolls* "Hi, sis, watcha wanna do?"

Connie: *Lays on the couch due to boredom.*

Trust me when I say this, this is the best part of this fanfic, both plot and narration-wise.

Connie: I don't know lucky...

Connie: I wonder what's on tv today?

Then they hear attacking from the outside!

Lucky: What's that noise?

Well, obviously it's the easily recognizable sound of attacking, like the author pointed out, Lucky. Dig that that couch cushion out of your ear.

Connie: I don't know but lets find out come on Luck let's Roll!

Lucky: Right behind ya!

As the 2 Siblings go outside they notice a big Giant Robot in there way!

Connie: Out of our way Metal head!:(

Twelve lines in and we are already lower in coherency than the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, how the fuck is that even possible?

Lucky: And who are you supposed to be?

?: I'm Vixon! And that will not be happening Connie!

Connie: How do you know our names?

Vixon: Please i know all your names. Well i'm off got places to be stuff to destroy... See Ya! Then he opens a portal to another dimension!

"I know your names, because I just do, and now excuse me, I'm off to be a one-dimensional bad guy after having made you notice I exist."

Both: GET BACK HERE!:(! Then both Connie and Lucky chase after him!

Vixon: Later Suckers! He said before he went in the portal. Then he left!

Lucky: We gotta catch up to him.!

Connie: Your right Sis We gotta catch up to him! What about Lanky?

Last I checked, he was doing fine with the rest of the DK Crew, why, oh why, do you ask?

Lucky: Don't Worry i stick a note on his door.

In Lanky's Room!

Lanky: Is Playing Banjo Kazooie on his N64...

Lanky: Alright i got the Wonderwing Die Enemies!

That's a bit anachronistic a statement for a power you get in a location with no enemies to reasonably use it on, while it guzzles its rare feathers at an alarming rate, don't you think?

Lucky: So we shouldn't worry.

Connie: That's Good in that case let's Go!

Lucky: Gotcha! Let's go! 1...

Connie: 2...

Both: THREEE!

Then both of the two sisters jump inside the portal...

Both: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!:-O

Well, sticking around KidsLand would probably risk running into more of the author's original creations, so going straight to Sequin Land is honestly a blessing.

As two of the girls keep falling and spinning Lucky begins to feel sick!

Lucky: Feels Nacuces Ugh.. Then she takes some Pills. That's better.

Random pills you happen to have stored up your butt are sure to cure Nacuces. I guess this is what counts as conflict, to the author.

Both: They continue falling until

THUMP! They Crashed!

Lucky: Slowly opens her eyes Ugh... Then she blink her eyes what happ... !

Lucky: Sis? Sis!

Connie: Still Knockout from the fall!

Speak a little louder, Connie, maybe the author's butchered script-format can reassure Lucky that you are alright.

Lucky: Wake up Thinks... Ding! I got It!

Lucky: Shen then smacks her tail at Connie Face!

Her tail? You'd might think with my research I knew about this, but for all the author's DeviantArt channel gushing over his OCs, they are never described, visually or otherwise.

Connie: Agh! What who...!

Connie: Luck where are we? Are we in SCUTTLE TOWN?!O.O

Lucky: Yep it looks like where in Shantae's World! She said in a calm tone.

It's almost like I'm right there with them, looking in the opposite direction of reality.

Both: This is Awsome!

Connie: This where Shantae lives.

Lucky: And Beat Riskey boots butt!

Both: And Defeated the Pirate Master!

Alright, by complete accident as far as I can tell, the author had these fangirls actually establish a timeline, which will probably make everything even worse.

Lucky: I Need her Autograph! Then she was pulled back by her Sister!

Connie: We gotta find Vixon first rember?

Lucky: Oh Right! I forgot.

Connie: Don't worry will find her. But first weve got a villian on our hands.

Lucky: Uses her tail as a Metal detector. Both of the girls find vixon!

Because that's how tails work, of course - WHAT?!

While Vixion and his minions...

Kidnaps the Citizens

Trows the Mayor in the Ocean in a Whale!

Robbs everything litterly including all of the food!

Guys, I have barely any clue as to what's going on and it's FUCKING HILARIOUS!!

Vicon: HURRY UP YOU FOOLS WEVE GOT ONE MORE THING TO DO KILLING THE HALF GENIE AND HER UNCLE!😈 Then he does the Cut head off Gusture!

He's trying to signal the director to cut this horrible scene already.

Meanwhile in Uncle Mimic's Lab!

Shantae: Uh Uncle are you sure it is a good idea it looks kinda dangerous.

Mimic: I'll be fine Let's Begin!

Shantae: If you say so... She then turns on the Switch and begins the Machine!

Mimic: Uses thinking machine... it works It!... then gets zapped and then Machince Explodes! Huff Dosen't Work!

Everything is written as if the author's two brain halves are fighting each other, alternating between every possible wrong way to phrase and structure the dialogue and descriptions.

Shantae: Oh My Gosh! Uncle are you ok?

Mimic: Yes Shantae i'm...

Vixon: Hits Mimic really hard to a wall! And then vixon attacks him! While his Minions steals his lab eqiumpment!

While the narration gets even more stilted!

SHANTAE: HEY STOP THAT! THEN BEATS THE MINONS WITH HER HAIR!

Vixon: Grabs her hair and trows her across the room.

Shantae: Woosliy ugh...

Lucky: Attacks vixon with her tail!

Vixon: Ow! What the-

Connie: Uses Emblem of fire to fire [No pun intended] at Vixon!

That's not how puns work, you scatter-brain, and you could use any other word if that had been the case.

Vixon: Agh! Both knocks them back with a single punch!

Both: Ugh...

Vixon: He then escapes with his Minions!

Lucky: Boy what a fight.

Connie: Yeah i'm surpried we survived that fight.

"We came out of nowhere and got punched once before the villain ran away. Clearly this was a challenge of our skills that we barely passed!"

Lucky: Sis look it's Shantae!

Connie: OMG! Then they both get closer to see she's on the floor!

Lucky: Spills Water on her face to wake her Up!

Shantae: Ugh... What happend?

Lucky: You were Knockout cold!

Connie: And we were waking you up.

And this author was trying to write a fanfic, I think.

Shantae: That figures. Rubs her head... Anyway who are you two?

Connie: I'm Connie and this is my sister Lucky!

Lucky: Hi!

Shantae: Hi Connie hello Lucky im...

Both: Your Shantae!

Shantae: That's right.

Connie We Really love your games!

Lucky: MMMhmm!

Shantae: Ah fans of my franchise i see.

There comes a time where meta-humor acknowledgement has its limits, author. Especially when you have fictional characters meet people of the games they play.

Both: Yep!

Shantae: Anyhoo Who was that? She asked.

Connie: That was Vixon and we are trying to find him.

Lucky: Have you seen him?

Seen him, you ask? She was knocked out by him. That just happened. You were there!!

Shantae: Yup. He ran off destyoying my Uncle's Lab and my Remembers Something!

Shantae: MY UNCLE! RUNS TO HER UNCLE!

Shantae: Uncle Wake up Pleese wake up. begins to tears up pleese Uncle Wake Up Pleese!

Mimic: He Dosen't respone!

Shantae: NO IM TOO LATE! HE'S GONE! Begins to Cry!

Wow, one chapter in and the fanfic's title has already lost all meaning.

Connie: Hey Hey Hey. Don't cry Shantae. It'll be alright.

Lucky: Yeah conforts her.

Her uncle is dead! Unless you are suggesting you have Rottytops bite the corpse and make him a zombie, exactly what do you think saying "It'll be alright" will accomplish?!

SHANTAE: NO I WON'T AND IT'S ALL THEN TURN INTO NEGA SHANTAE! AND I'M GONNA KILL HIM!:(

Connie: Grabs her Woah Shantae Calm Down!

Lucky: Yeah will save him we promise! She Said!

Shantae: Tranforms back to normal! Your right you two i'm sorry it's just that..

Connie: We know Shantae we know.

Image

While we are in the 'lore reboot' territory I mentioned before, Nega Shantae is not an alter ego that Shantae can just turn into. Nega Shantae has never even been name-dropped in this universe, only getting it from promotional material for the latest game. In first appearance, she was an unnamed final boss clone of Shantae made from her genie-half being extracted from her and then destroyed. In latest appearance, Nega Shantae is merely a personality manifested by Shantae getting all of her magic transformed from good to evil, in where the power of friendship was used to turn her back. Implying - because that's the only way your narration works, author - that Shantae can just flip between the two personalities is outrageously stupid.

Lucky: Her Emblem rings then shows the thunder Queen through a Projection Screen! Hi Your Majasy

Thunder Queen: Hello Lucky hi Connie

Connie: Hiya!

Thunder Queen: Omg! Are you Shantae i'm a real big fan of yours!

Oh, sweet merciful fuck, how many more thumb-sucking airheads will this author have introduced by the end of this?

Shantae: Thx! Hi your majasty she then bows!

Thunder Queen: I herd the news about your Uncle Shantae! and the town.

Of course you did. News sure travel fast in this story. Through dimensions, to boot.

Shantae: Yeah i Wait What about the town?

Then they go outside to see that Scuttle town is Complety Empty!

Connie: Now we are really too late they took everything.

Lucky: Well except the stick.

Minon: *Steals stick then runs off!*

Lucky: Nevermind.

Thunder Queen: Connie lucky Shantae.

If it wasn't because reading this far has made me more fluid in dumb, I'd be blushing right now.

Vixon is still out there somewhere you three need to find him before something bad happens. In order to revive Shantae's Uncle Mimic you need to find the five of these Diamond Emblems 1. In the Ocean 2. on Zombie island. 3. On Saliva Island.

4. In a Volcano. and. 5. In a Ship if you find these crystals before Vixion does Mimic will be alive!

How, why, and what would be such limiting words, if I were ever actually going to pretend that I wanted to try and make sense of any of this. So, you know what to do to thwart death, and it's doing a fetch quest? Sure, just get to gathering the Dragon Balls already.

Thunder Queen: I'm counting on you three i believe in you bye! Then the call ends.

Connie: Alright find the Emblems save mimic save the Day! let's go.

Lucky: But we dont have a boat. Connie: Oh right.

Shantae: Risky boots has a boat she is by the docs i know where she is...

I think you need to double check your timeline again, author. Risky would at this point only set foot in Scuttle Town to usher in the soundtrack for Burning Town.

Both: Alright!

Shantae: Let's Ret-to-Go and save my Uncle!

Both: Yeah let's go! *Then our 3 heroes runs to the Docs! And so the Adventure begins!*

Will they find Vixon and Save the day?

I don't know, will the day be saved if they find Vixon? I find it you have trouble even figuring out what plot hook you're sticking with, author.

Find Out Next time on

Connie, Lucky, & Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

End of Part 1!

It's called a chapter, you dunce. You call the next one Boat Trouble Part 1!!
Last edited by ConcernedGamer on Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:10 am

I'm getting some major Francis the Snivy vibes from this fic. That said, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:43 pm

GorillaGamer wrote:
Sat Sep 15, 2018 6:10 am
I'm getting some major Francis the Snivy vibes from this fic. That said, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.
You are not alone in that, and it only gets more comparable when I lay open my latest findings.

Let me take you on a journey. Strap in. I dived back into the eldritch fountain of knowledge that is Google and typed in that which should be forbidden, yet by the author was left perfectly available to any poor soul to research. His name. I now know who the Thunder Queen is. I know who Connie and Lucky are. But most importantly, I know what Kidsland is. It's of the author's own imagination. A failed creative project on Casting Call Club, an online voice acting instruction community, titled "Sammy & Friends!" can be found here.

Connie and Lucky are African American catgirl warriors serving the ruler of Kidsland, the Thunder Queen against her evil brother the Thunder King. And on the same roster list is the author himself, his wife " real or no " a friend named Henry, Connie and Lucky's brother Lanky, and Shantae, and that's it. That's all the descriptive info there was, aside from voice casting instructions, until I decided to look at the file names for the character avatar pictures. Deviantart user Cartoon68 has produced "art" for this fanfic, including a comic of most of the first chapter. View it and the character depictions at your own risk here, because my words can't do them justice.

I hardly have anything left to say after that intro. Moving on. Here's Chapter 2, Boat Trouble! Pt 1

After intro the title pops up!

With the smell of fresh crayon fading with it.

Previously on Connie lucky & Shantae the Quest to save uncle Mimic!

Last time our 3 heroes find out the town is now deserted and was ordered by the Thunder Queen to get the Crystals to save Mimic! Who are now at the docs...

Because with her uncle dead and the entire town kidnapped, the only thing that would get Shantae to do this quest would be an order. And you were going after Diamond Emblems, you confused dolt, what is this crystal bullshit now?

*Ahem* I said...

The Camaras shows the 3 at the docs!

Thankyou... Anyhoo let's continue!

Isn't it fun when the author translates a visual gag to written form, by providing none of it?!

Lucky: So Shantae is it true that you defeated the Pirate Master without your genie magic?

Shantae: Yep! No genie magic at all! I couldn't have done it without Risky boots!^_^

You couldn't have. I mean that literally. Winning against the final boss of The Pirate's Curse without Shantae recovering her magic genie half in the process is the Bad Ending, where the Pirate Master remains undefeated, Shantae remains fully human, and Risky faces a doomed fate at the titular curse. Did you make her state this pointless retcon because you sucked at the game, author?

Connie: Speaking of ol' Risky! I think i see her up ahead!

Then Risky's Theme start Playing!

And it will never end, because I don't expect this author to make the effort to keep track.

Risky: Just my luck not only that Rotton Robot stolen everything including my Crew!

HE STOLEN MY SHIP MY ONE AND ONLY SHIP! WHEN GET MY HANDS ON VIXON I'M GONNA-...

Lucky: We found her! Then the 3 girls Stop!

Risky: Shantae! and... Who these 2?

As far as Shantae knows? Tourist fan-girl nobodies, from all she has seen of what they are capable of, and I'm on the same page!

Shantae: There names are Connie & Lucky There here to help me save my Uncle from Vixon! from possibly destroying Scuttle Town!

Lucky: Yeah whose been sadly Deceased! :(*Sniff*

Connie: *Gives lucky a tissue* Yeah so we need to use your boat so can we use it?

Lucky: *Blows her nose!* Yeah can we please use it?

Mimic was murdered mere minutes ago. Shantae has barely had time to wipe the potential blood of her only parental figure off her hands. And you two klutzes are treating it like a violin-scored Bugs Bunny comedy mourning routine. You are a tone-deaf buffoon, author.

Risky: Let me think about that... NO!

Connie: Why not you mean old pirate lady?!:(

Risky: Because i don't care! Besides i have better things to do! *Crosses her arms!*

Connie: Like finding all your stuff by yourself? She said.

Risky: Yeah... HEY!:( *Growls*...

Risky doesn't want anything to do with them, and wants to work alone. What was the joke, author?

Connie: Unless Risky you are weak enough to fight... Moi!

Risky: YOU!? Why should i fight you?

Connie: Cuz you can't Defeat the Vixon!

Risky: ! [Angry] WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!

That The Vixon is a state of mind, maybe?

Connie: I'm Saying your weak! Her eyes then turn dark Black! You couldn't even beat Shantae in the games! Wimp!

Nice going, Connie, you just implied one has to be weak to be defeated by Shantae, what a great fan you are.

Lucky: Sis what are you doing?

Shantae: Uh Lucky is Connie ok?

Lucky: It's nothing Shantae!

Shantae: *Then raises an eyebrow.* Are you Sure?

Lucky: Yup! She says nervously

Shantae: Well ok then.

Well, then that was a waste of words, wasn't it?

Connie: If I win i'll be Captain and we'll go to get the Crystals to save Shantae's Uncle!

Risky: And if i Win?

Connie: Then Shantae will be your Half Genie Slave Forever!

Shantae: ! Now Connie let's think about...

Risky: *She Smiles as she start smirking Evilly* DEAL!😈

Shantae: *Sigh* This...😒

For someone who somehow figured out how to write Unicode emojis, you sure seem dense when it comes to wagers, author. No one would believe an unaffiliated stranger could back up the claim of wagering the life of one's arch nemesis.

*Transition* Plays Dance through Danger as Lucky does a Handstand!

Because of course you'll sully that song, while also feeling the need to show off your athleticism for no reason.

Connie & Risky Starts to Prepare their Battle...

Connie & Risky: Stretches also cracking there bones!

Connie: Just Warning ya Stinky Boots I'm Pretty Tough!

Lucky: *Whispers to Shantae* She really is..

You guys were relieved you managed to survive a blink-and-you-miss-it brush with the bad guy, but sure, pour on the super powers already.

Risky: I will keep that in mind Enough talk Let's Battle!

Connie: My Pleasure!:(.

The Shantae battle Music then starts playing!

Before the previous song even managed to get through its chorus.

Risky: Takes a running start!

It starts then going Slow Mo!

Connie: *She then runs and Quickly grabs her sword from behind.* There We go!

Then it goes back to Normal.

Trust me, you don't want to know how slow I think you are when at normal.

Risky: AHHH- *Then she notices something...*

Risky: Wait where is my...

Connie: Looking for this? *Then she holds Risky's sword as she uses her tail to fly in the air...* Try and get it from me Risk!

Risky: GIMMIE BACK MY SWORD YOU LITTLE-

Connie: What are ya Scared Risk? *Then she shape shifts as a Chicken then she clucks as a chicken too.*

You equate a pirate's antics of shouting at you for taking her sword as her being scared? I don't even know what you are smoking, but I don't want some.

Shantae and Lucky: *Starts laughing...*

Shantae: *Mockingly* I'm Risky boots who fails to defeat the hero of Scuttle Town!

Lucky: *Continues Laughing!*

Risky: *Starts turning Red!* ENOUGH! I can do it with or without my Sword!

Risky: *Then Shoots her cannonball at Connie!*

Connie: *She then teleport's...*

Because of course she can do that. Let's see. Teleports, can slow down time, her tail can do whatever the fuck she wants it to. Guys, I think I spotted the Mary Sue.

Risky: ! *Looks Around.*

Shantae: Where She Go?

Connie: *As fire then appears as she kicks her from behind!*

Risky: Ugh.. *Then she Wipes the blood from her mouth...* Well Played!

Risky: *Tries Punching Connie in slow motion!*

Connie: Nice!

What was nice, exactly? Her attempt, whether she came near to hitting you, or the fact that we are supposed to know that it's you slowing down time again while having this mock battle?

Both: *Keeps fighting as Shantae and Lucky watches...*

Shantae: *Plays Risky's Revenge on her Phone!*

Look, I know the game creators host a twitter for Shantae, but do you really think she has a phone in a magical land where Mimic, may he rest in peace, had the profession of digging up modern day fashioned devices as Old World relics?

Lucky: *Draws on the sand laying on her tummy.*

*Hours Later*

Both: *Pant!*

Risky: *Shoots one last Big Cannon Ball! Towards her!*

Shantae: Connie look Out!:-OO_O

Connie: *Then she pulls out a golf club and keeps pulling it to make it Bigger!*

And now we are in a god damn Spongebob cartoon with this overpowered, time-wasting asshole, while with every second that pass kidnapped people are suffering and a dead man's fate hangs in the balance.

Shantae: Wow!

Connie: *Then she swings it with all of her Might!*

Risky: *Sees cannon ball above her.. Oh Boy! Cannon ball smashes her repeatedly!*

Would it be too obvious if I stated that Tom & Jerry is one of the author's favorite shows, alongside the other one I mentioned?

Risky: *Woozily And feels dizzy while trying to fight Connie!*

Connie: *Smirks* Hmm... *She then Smacks Risky with her own Sword!*

Risky: *Then she faints...*

Lucky And Shantae: :-O *Gasps* Yay Woohoo! *Claps and cheers!:D*

Connie: *Bows* Thankyou! Thankyou!

Connie: *Walks to Risky Boots who is now in Pain!*

Risky: Alright you win! *Gives her Her Pirate Hat!*

As an honorable pirate losing a bet is want to do, of course

Connie: *Then she gives her back her Sword!* Are Ya ready to set sail Matetys?

Lucky & Shantae: Argh!;)

Connie: That's the spirit Now Come On!

All: *Then they all hop on the boat then goes to the Island!*

You know...the island. That one. Yeah, fuck if I know.

Connie: Alright you land lubbers! Let's Get Sailing!

Connie: Shantae Your our Lookout! Check if there is an Island.

I thought you just went to one!

Shantae: *Wearing her cute pirate bandanna from Pirate's Curse!* Aye Aye Captain! :(

Connie: Risky Your washing the poop Deck in the Bathroom!

You have no idea what anything is on a ship, do you author?

Risky: WHAT WHY ME?

Connie: Because Me & Lucky Are sharing the Map!

Risky: *Then grumbles as she's going downstairs.*

Hours later...

Risky: *Mocking Connie Oh i'm Connie i'm pretty tough! Beating Risky Boots Hmph yeah Right! She said as she starts to clean then toilet then is about to throw up After smelling it!* Oh Wow! *Coughs*

This is a fetish niche thing, isn't it? The author already pointlessly had a character be on the verge of blowing chunks in Chapter 1. As if the confirmed feet and vore stuff wasn't enough as it was.

Shantae: *Then her Stomach rumbles...* Captain i'm hungry!

Lucky: *Her Stomach growls as well* Me too!

Connie: Ok ShipMates i'll check in the Gally for food.

Connie: *Then she Goes to the Gally (kitchen) to find food.*

Connie: Ah Ha! FOOD! *Then she Finds some Cheese then a rat grabs it! Drat! Then goes back up on deck!*

Connie: Sorry Mates i Couldn't find any food.

And so the plot kind of, I dunno, tilts from side to side?

Lucky: So Hungry...

5 Minutes Later...

Shantae: *Goes alittle crazy due to her Hunger!* So hungry i can eat...

Shantae: *Then she Sees Connie* MEAT! No i can't Connie's my friend but i need that Meat What do i do?

Image

Nega Shantae: Eat Her! Look at that tasty tender and plump Meat! *Then Shantae starts to drool!* Yeah your...

Angel Shantae: NO! Don't do it she's doing the best she can to save your Uncle.

Shantae: MMM... That's True!

Nega Shantae: Big deal! just eat her alittle bit... Your choice kid Starve or get the Meat!

Both: *Then they both disappear...*

As if comedy wasn't lost on you already, author, you also missed the glorious opportunity to have these shoulder consciences take the form of Shantaes actual moral influencers; the brain-eating Rottytops and the bird trainer Sky.

Shantae: Umm... *Then she hears Nega Shantae's voice while it echoes as she see Connie Starve or eat Meat Kid... Then She also hears Angel Shantae's voice while it Echoes She is saving your Uncle's Life!*

Shantae: My Heart says no but my belly says YESSS!:D:( *Then she Bites her tail...*

Connie: ! YOWWWW! Hey watch it Shantae why did ya bit my tail?

Shantae: What? Me eat you Connie? What makes you think that? *Then she Whistles innocently!*😅😇

You know, I was about to go into a heated rant over your utter lack of ability to depict emotional states beyond resorting to emoticons, but then I realized this is exactly what this level of writing deserves, author.

Connie: Shantae...:(

Shantae: Fine i'm sorry Connie that i tried to eat you it's just that i'm really Hungry! *Feeling Guilty!*

Connie: That's ok i'm hungry too Shantae.

Lucky: I wanna read the map! *She said as she then tugs it...*

Connie: No Sis your gonna Rip...

Map: *Tears then blows away by the wind!*

Better get used to the afterlife, Mimic, because these retards have to create their own drama to pad out this story already.

Connie It. It's all your fault now we are lost!

Lucky: Me? You are the one who started it...:(

Shantae: ! *Then she sees something BIG coming through the Telescope!* UH Guys?

Yeah, a crashing meteor from outer space sounds like the best solution to this fanfic right about now.

Both: Keeps Arguing!

Shantae: Guys hello? *She then points to the whale coming Closer!*

Lucky: Your an Awful Captain!

Connie: Hmph!

Lucky: Hmph!

Shantae: GUYS?!

Both: WHAT?

Then the boat falls on a tongue!

ALL: A Whale!? AHHHHHHHHHHH!O_O

Whale: *Then he Chomps them all as he closes his Mouth!*

To Be Continued?

Is that a genuine question, or are you going to be edging yourself to this vore shit for a few days before deciding for yourself?

*The camera then zooms out in the background showing Me and Charlotte as we watched on what has happend!*

Image

Charlotte: Honey what are we gonna do?

Me: Get help that's what Hon don't worry guys we are coming! Our heroes were eaten by a whale will they survive find out on Connie Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic! *Then me and my wife teleport back to kidsland to get Lanky and the thunder Queen!*

I should have known this author's self-insertion into his own fantasy would not be omitted from this shit, but are you telling me that this Kidsland show is on air, with current events, and he is now going to go join in? What type of reality is this?

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by StabbyKobold » Mon Sep 17, 2018 12:46 pm

As GorillaGamer mentioned, the similarities to Francis the Snivy are uncanny.

At least I doubt there's going to be as much focus on sports or repetitiveness in the plot, but this bowl of crazy is definitely going to be deep.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:37 pm

This chapter opens up with a nonsensical and unrelated injection of one of the author's Banjo Kazooie fever dreams, and follows it up with something worse. Here's Chapter 3, Shantae's Meat Problem Pt2wBanjoShort.

The jiggy jingle starts playing as the title starts showing!

Do you have to be so informative yet completely inept at telling us what's happening on the inside of your skull, author?

One day in Spiral Mountain Banjo was about to leave for his sister's birthday Party!

I would have classified this as a surprise crossover, but what's the point when this is an interlude? This filler will have no fucking effect on the rest of the story!

Banjo: *Tries to wake up Kazooie... Get up Kazooie Wake Up! *Sigh* *Then he leaves...*

I sure know I would give up on waking my best friend for an important event after making half an attempt.

*Hours Later*

Kazooie: *Then she starts to Wake up... *yawns* hop out of her backpack and does some stretches first*

She'd better, considering what comes out of her every game, and how.

Kazooie: *Sees Letter* Hm What's this? A Card for Me?

Kazooie: *Reads It* *As she opens the card it plays Tooty's theme!*

Kazooie: Happy Birthday Tooty from your big brother Banjo & your friend Kazooie!... !

Kazooie: *Checks the Clock* *Gasp* OH NO I'M LATE! *Then she Quickly Runs*

And Banjo ditched her yet forgot the card himself? Why do characters have to be imbeciles in order for the author to write conflict?

Kazooie: *She the leaves the house to go to the party* I can't belive i'm late i guess i must have overslept again.. *Sigh* Whatever as long as i focus i can make it to the party. *She runs past Mumbo's Hut! Untill... Mumbo called her!

I'm at the edge of my seat, guys, with a noose around my neck.

Mumbo: Hey can mumbo see you for a sec... Real Quick!

Kazooie's Mind: Mumbo? I wonder what he wants i guess it will be real Quick!

Kazooie: *Walks in to his hut!* So Bonebrain anything ya need help with im kinda in a hurry to make it to a party.

Mumbo: Hey can bird help mumbo find Shamen Stick?

Kazooie: Sure! she said... Where is it?

Mumbo: Down in basement...

Why do I feel like this is a subtle reenactment of the author visiting his creepy neighbor?

Kazooie: In the basement got it! *She runs down there resulting her falling and then mumbo her a loud Crash!*

Mumbo: ! HEY BECAREFUL DOWN THERE!

Kazooie: MMM... *Then sees the wand in a huge mess!*

Kazooie: Great! *Then grabs a broom* *An hour Later.* Kazooie: Alright the basement is clean!

She saw the wand, author! You just told us she did! Since when did Kazooie have OCD?

Kazooie: There it is! *Grabs the wand and goes back upstairs* Here is your wand Mumbo! *Gives it to him*

Thanks for helping mumbo find Wand! And tell tooty i said hi & Happy Birthday Here give her this! *Gives her the Present!*

So what I'm getting here, is that Mumbo tossed his wand into the basement to trick Kazooie into cleaning his mess, and now he's suckering her into shipping his party-dodging ass' present. I guess paying this douche in skull tokens to get him to help save Tootie from his magical nemesis was necessary, after all.

Kazooie: See ya Skull Head! *Then leaves* *She then sees a nest of new type of egg the sleep;y egg!*

Kazooie: Oooh a new egg. Type... Don't mind if i do! *Grabs nest and puts it in her backpack.* I'll save theese for later.

Kazooie: Hey and i'm halfway... *Then she triggers a switch with grunty's face on it,* *And falls in the process* THERRRRE! *Tries to fly out of trap then gets hit by a mallet.* Kazooie: *Woozily* Where's the next jiggy banjo? *Then she falls*

What's going to be the point of this? Why is there a typically stomp-activated switch, usually dedicated for unveiling secret goodies in Gruntilda's lair, out in the open where this blind as fuck bird stumbles onto it? When will we just go back to Cooky and Loony and suffer while actually knowing

Kazooie: Then wakes up Ugh.. what happ... Then get's cut off by a familiar voice!

Grunty: Well well well if it isn't Kazooie Messioe! *She said as she walks In!*

Kazooie: Not now gruntbags i have a party to go too! Also that's not even a real word!

Grunty:

IT IS A REAL WORD! ENOUGH OF THIS LET'S FIGHT!:(

Image

What bootleg version of Hell did you drag forth this Gruntilda caricature from, author? Her whole monologue spiel is that she uses internal rhyme structures for everything she says. Not only did you not have her bother on the second attempt, your first was a ridiculous utterance of homonymous rhyming of two words back to back with a nonsensical utterance of a made-up string of letters, just because your lazy ass couldn't think up two sentenced that rhymed?!

Kazooie: Does a flapflip!

Grunty: Come here you little Pest she said Angerly!

Grunty: Tries to attack kazooie then misses... Grr...

Kazooie: She then remembered! Take this Winky! *She then throws a sleep egg to her eye!

Throws it? She launches them from her beak and butt, author, have you even played a Banjo Kazooie game?

Grunty: OWWW! Rubs her eye. *Then feels sleepy all of a Sudden!* *Get's sleepy* It was fun but now that the fight finished i'm Done! *Snores*

Kazooie *Whispers* Thank you sleepy egg. *The she slowly flies to the Exit*

Nothing says five-year-old imagination like 'and then the bad guy fell asleep' as the climax of the story's conflict.

Then fun n games music plays as kazooie keeps running!

Kazooie: Almost there. *Uses her tallon trot to make it to the party!*

Kazooie: *Pant *Pant!* Hey everyone sorry i was late!

Banjo: Kazooie where were you?

Tooty: yeah yove missed it. It was fun!

Well, if I'm reading the moral of the story right, someone falling asleep is a solution to problems, so Kazooie sleeping in was seemingly to everyone's benefit.

Kazooie: I had to help mumbo find his wand and stopped grunty. Now i'm here... Here kid! *Gives her the present!*

Tooty:

*Gets the present and opens it!* Wow a Wand after turning Kazooie into a frog then she turns her back* Opps... Sorry Kazooie!

Kazooie: Ooof!

Where's that loudmouth bird that has an insult or a snarky remark with every slight inconvenience put on her? All I have is this here feather duster bending over for every commotion coming her way.

Banjo: Did you remembered to get the clown for the party?

Wouldn't you know, since the party is now over and you were here, Banjo?

Kazooie: Clowm? *Flashback* Alright Conker deal em in! *At a bar familiar playing crazy 8's

*Music playing Windy from conker's bad fur day*

Conker: *Shuffles the cards*You got lucky Kazooie but i'm sure i'll win this time!

Regardless of his actual age, I don't believe the author has the mental maturity for this - and by 'this' I mean Banjo Kazooie.

*10 Minutes Later...*

Conker *Bangs his hand on the table*

DAMMIT I LOST AGAIN! *Sigh* And gives her the jiggys! You won fair and Square!

Kazooie: Bye Conker see ya next week! *She then leaves*

Conker: *Waves goodbye*

I'll win next time! See ya kazooie!

Kazooie: *Sees a clown!* Huh a clown! *Then walks off* *Flashback ends* Uhh about that...

Well, I could certainly see the point of that flashback. It was to indicate Kazooie has a gambling problem, right? Because getting a birthday party clown has nothing to do with randomly passing one, author, you thoughtless twit!

Tooty: What are we gonna do? Little yellow jingo child: I have an idea... *Smirks*

Kazooie: *as a clown deadpanned* I hate my life... *Sigh* Juggles balls while trycycling!

Kids: Boo this clown stinks! Booo!

Well, it seems Kazooie didn't miss the party after all, but only because the author has no basic comprehension of the English language or linear time in general.

Kazooie: *Angry* HEY WATCH IT YOU LITTLE BRA- *Gets hit in the face by a rock! Hey who threw *Keeps getting hit*

Kids: This is so much fun! *Kids keep throwing rocks at Kazooie!*

*As the kids threw rocks the rocks made the sound of the famous Jiggy Jingle!*

Banjo: Your the best Kazooie Guhuh! *Smiles* *Tooty also hugs kazooie*

Are you aware that you made this scene incredibly morbid, and not at all like slapstick, author? I can't tell whether Kazooie is fine or drowning in a pool of her own blood right now.

Tooty: This is the best birthday ever thanks Kazooie *Hugs her*

Kazooie:

*After getting hit by rocks* OW ow ow augh... No problem banjo! And happy birthday Tooty. *Then she Faints*

I have this Snivy named Francis I would like to introduce you to, author. I'm sure his stories will keep you entertained.

*Then the credits play playing the Banjo Kazooie theme!*

*After Opening theme*

Last time on Connie lucky and shantae a quest to save uncle mimic our hearos were eaten by a whale/

Will they make it to saliva island or die to there doom? find out on today's episode!

Well, it was nice of you to first now tell us which island they are going to, author. An island Shantae by your continuity notes already have visited in the past, meaning your two idiot OCs tearing a map held no weight whatsoever.

All: *Groan!* Connie *Wakes up!* Is everyone ok? *Uses one her fingers like lighting a candle or a match so everyone can see!

Seriously, what kind of Go Go Gadget bullshit is this character?

Lucky: *Glares at her sister* Gee thanks captain for getting us LOST!:(

Connie: *Mimicing her sister*

Lucky: *Does the same!*

Yeah, go ahead and mimic your sister who is mimicking you, that will make sense.

Shantae: We'll argue who's to blame later now let's just find a way Outta here!

All: Agreed!

Connie: I'll try to do it with some fire-

Lucky: Connie please i'll do it with some Ice! Hmph!

Connie: balls...

Lucky: And FREEZE! *She freezes the whales dangly thing up top*

It's called a uvula, author. It's literally what you get as a search result if you google 'dangly thing'!!

Connie: *Laughs* *Mocks her sister no no no let me do it with my ice*

Lucky: *Growls* *Grumbles* Connie: *tries it with fire but it doesn't work* Dang it! *Try's it again*

And why doesn't it work, author? Having your already translucent characters target a silhouetted backdrop makes half of your story up to anyone's guess, until you actually bother making a passable effort.

Later...

Connie: *Panting*

Lucky: Eww why is this tongue so sticky?

Shantae: It's a tongue IT's suppose to be sticky! *Lays Down*

But what if it wasn't sticky Shantae?

Who said that and why do I even bother asking for the narrative to remain coherent and sane at this point?

Shantae: *Sigh* We'll never get outta here...*

Lucky: *Accidently spills the toilet then the whale swallows It! Eww...

Was that humor? A fetish? Another tally of utter nonsense this story consists of?

Lucky: *Sits* Owch! what am i sitting on? *Holds a crystal* Oh it's just a crystal...

Connnie: Crystal? Lucky you found It!

Lucky: I did? I did i found the first Crystal! *Counts her fingers Only 4 more to Go!*

I am not at all surprised you needed to use your fingers for that.

Connie: *Finds someone* Hello? uh escuse me s... Mayor: OOOH some company! Connie: AH! A hobo!

Shantae: Mayor?

Mayor: Oh hello Shantae! Who are you 2?

Come on, do the bit already, mayor. Say it with me; "You are fired."

Connie: I'm connie and this is my little sis Lucky.

Lucky: *Hids behind connie* Hola!*

Shantae: How did you get here?

Mayor: Some robot came and thew me! Lucky: vixon must've thrown you!

So, by process of elimination, Vixon's minions aren't robots?

Connie: Let's shave this beard! *Uses her claws as sicssoers to cut his beard!*

It's still only been hours since the events of last chapter, numbskull!

Mayor: Thankyou! Connie: Your welcome Mr. Mayor.

*Hears rumbling*

Connie: Lucky was it your stomach again? Lucky: It wasn't me!

Connie: If it wasn't you then who...?

*Rumbling again*

Lucky: SIS I'M SORRY I RUINED THAT MAP I JUST WANTED TO USE IT!

CONNIE: THATS OK LUCKY IT WAS MY FAULT WE GOT LOST IN THE FIRST PLACE I'M SORRY TOO! HOLD ON!

Whale: *Thows Up*

I'm sensing a theme here.

All: *Ecept the mayor goes flies up to the island!* Ugh...

Bolo: You all ok? Sky: *Sniffs* And why do ya smell like Whale barf?

And why are you two here and not kidnapped along with the rest of Scuttle Town?

Shantae: We been eaten by a whale what else is new? *She said deadpanned*!

Sky: Well there are tinkerbats around. Risky: *Whistles* Bolo: What is SHE doing here?

She's appearing to remind us that she actually exists in this story, because the author likely forgot she was supposed to be inside the whale, too.

Sky: And who are these 2?

Shantae: Risky and i... Lucky: *Ahem* Shantae: I mean WE called it a truce! Connie: Thankyou.

Even the Mary Sue glorification is bare bones amateur level here, with the author needing to mark down their insufferable inclusion, while forgetting to actually have them introduce themselves for the fourth time.

Connie: Yeah we are saving her dead Uncle from Vixon!

Lucky: Nice Episode 1 Recap!

Connie: Thx Sis!

I'm sure that anyone tuning in will find it self-explanatory from the simple details of you trying to save a dead man from a robot.

Sky: That's Awful! Oh and i'm Sky by the way and this is My friend bolo & Wrech!

Bolo: Sup Ladies? Shantae: *Sigh* Oh Bolo.

Wrench: Screeches!

Connie: *Flashback* *Hisses while eating the birds* *Flashback ends* *Sighs*

Lucky: Sis you ok? Connie: Yeah luck i'm fine!

You lost me. Was that an angst background you tried to smuggle in, or the first hint in this story that these two actually are cat-girls, triggered by coming face to face with a being that the author won't bother to mention is a bird?

Connie: Anyway... My name is connie & this is my sister Lucky!

Lucky: Yo! Have you seen? *Sniffs* What is that smell?*

Connie & Shantae *fallows Smell* It's Meat!

I'm starting to feel very dirty, since it's now become apparent that the author was receptive to the Saliva Island waterfall quest meat-stank buildup, rather than the bikini clad girls bathing in the lizard mouth fluids afterwards.

Lucky: Food! All: *Then runs to the stand*

Lucky: 2 *Gets run over by shantae* *Groaning* Please...

Shantae: ALL PLEASE! *GIVES MEAT PERSON HER GEMS* *TAKES IT*

Meat person. Not a butcher, or a reprisal of the actual chef girl from the game series we are currently in, no. It's the ham-worker, the beef-peddler, the genderless anti-vegan, the unsung hero simply identifying themselves as Meat Person.

Lucky: I want some Meat! Connie: Me too!

Shantae: Umm... Here! *Gives them a bone and keeps eating*

Lucky: SHANTAE! WE ARE HUNGRY TOO!:( CONNIE: YEAH!

Sky: Shantae don't be greedy!

Shantae: *Ignores her & keeps eating!*

Lucky: We can't stop now bo i mean your uncle needs us! Shantae: *Keeps eating*

Because that's all a fanfic needs to be about, right? Writing off established protagonists as the embodiment of a gluttonous retard.

Sky: Let's go! Wrench! Wrench: *Screeches* and transforms into Mega Wrench! Becareful you 2!

Both: We'll do! *Hops on Wrench!* YAHOOOOOO!

Yeah, that's nice you half-genie ditching dipshits, but where are you even going?

Bolo: Goodluck! Aw no fair shantae not only your working with our enemy no offense.

Risky: Non Taken. Bolo: But your doing a battle of the death!

How am I even going to communicate back to you in your own baby language, that having done a battle to the death, one of whomsoever you are talking to right now would have had to have died?!

Sky: Don't worry lucky and connie got this!

Bolo: Uh Sky do ya think Shantae will be ok by eating all of that meat? Shantae: *Passes Out* Sky: *Deadpanned*:

Yeah she'll be fine!

Gaurd: ATTENTION THE MAYOR HAVE BEEN CAPTURED! MAYOR: AHHHHH! OFFFF! GAURD: Nevermind!

This has been another episode of Random Sentence Tetris, where the author fucked up on the first drop yet again.

*In mimic's lab!* Mimic:'s soul: In somewhere which is dark!*

Welcome to Hell, Mimic. You dodged a bullet by dying as early as you did, if you ask me.

Mimic: Hello anybody here?

?: Hello mimic it's good to see you again! Mimic: Who are you? ?: How can you forget *Reveals to be Shantae's mom tina Your own wife tina!

Image

Author, do I have to go through the incest jokes, or go right to explaining how an uncle should not be your mother's wife?! What is Shantae's now mundanely named mother doing outside the Genie Realm?! Why is Mimic not in the Valley of the Dead on Mud Bog Island, you know, the actually established place where dead people's souls go?! Were you dropped on your head when you were little?! I want answers!!

Mimic: ! Tina is it really you? Tina: *tries to hug him! but it goes through instead.* Tina: What happend to you?

Mimic: I died! A robot called vixon killed Me!

Tina: I heard!

Then what sort of brain fart possessed you to ask him in the first place?!

The thunder queen told me and those 2 were connie and lucky!

Why did you rely on the omniscient Thunder Queen instead of watching the show this fanfic simultaneously is supposed to be, like the author made his self-insert and accompanying wife do before teleporting inside it?

There helping us save you and the town! Tell that to shantae! Tell her i'm still alive and well! the town needs her. Tina: Goodluck!

Uncle: Wait i still have more questions! Tina: *Then leaves* Uncle: *Calls shantae through telrphty*

Had you simply said he called her through 'ghost powers', author, I would still be flipping you off.

Shantae: *Belly Gurgles* hic... *And a little drunk from the meat* Stu stupid Lucky what are they hic... talking about? I'm fit as a fittle! *Hears her uncle calling her through telephty*

No, I'm pretty sure he got the wrong number, because my ears are ringing at this point.

Mimic: Shantae can you hear me?

Shantae: Uncle is that you?

Mimic: Yes my nice it's me! I was told by your mother.

Shantae: *Gasp* Mom? is she ok i need to know!

Mimic: She said she's alive and well she can't wait to meet you! I gotta go...

Shantae: Uncle Wait!

Mimic: I believe in you goodluck. he then leaves *

Truly, that conversation must have held such importance and impact that it used up all of Mimic's ghost minutes.

Shantae: *Starts to tear up* What have i done? If i hadn't eaten all of this meat none of this wouldve happen...

You ate the meat minutes ago and your dead Uncle didn't even convey anything meaningful through his surprise telepathy. What the fuck are you blithering about?!

Mimic's voice echoes: The town needs you Shantae...

Shantae: *Sniffs* *Who is now feeling determined!* Don't worry Uncle i'm coming to save you!:(

Shantae: *Tries to walk but instead rolls to a nearby cave* Woooa!

*Wreach: *Then landed the 2 girls at a cave!* Lucky: Thx Wrench! Wreach: *Drops a Crystal!* Connie: *Grabs it* Cool 3 more to go! Bye! *Wreach! Wreach: screeschs *then leaves*

Another emptily described mcguffin handed to you by the author with no effort on your part to get it. What joy.

Lucky: Connie it's so dark.. and scary... maybe we should go home... Connie: *Uses her tail to grab her tail to grab her...*

Kinky, if not just a bit awkward.

Connie: No your coming with me!

Lucky: *Gulps* Connie: *Lays on her belly* Let's Ride! Lucky: Wahoo Sis Boarding! *Hops on her back and then she ride's on Connie!*

Kinky, if not just a bit awkward.

Lucky: Are you sure we won't get lost again? Connie: Lucky what could possibly go... *Rumbles* Both: Uh Oh! Connie:WROOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG?!

And then the cave threw up?

To be continued?

It is a lot to unpack about your incredible ineptitude as a writer, author, when I feel open to debating the definition of 'continue', when it comes to the gaps of dreadful brevity that is the loading time between all the chapters you uploaded in the same single day, as this story as a whole is put up on likely more than just the three different websites I came across it on.

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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Oct 01, 2018 3:43 pm

Take a look at that chapter title coming up. It's not going to make much sense by the end of it, because besides not knowing how to spell it, the author has no idea what the word means. Here's Chapter 4, The CaveSisterLoveTriangale.

*After opening Credits*

Last time on Connie Lucky & Shantae a quest to save Uncle Mimic Connie & Lucky were lost in a big cave will they find eachother again?

Oh, so that was what happened as you made up the plot in-between chapters, after closing off on a rumbling cave while the two inept spelunkers began to ride each other.

Find out in this Episode!

*In the cave shantae was rolling down!*

Shantae: *Still rolling* Ow ya eeeee Owch! *Then rolls in a loop! Ahhhhhhh! There they Are! *Rolls Out*

Shantae: *Tummy rumbles!* Ugh... never eating that much meat again... *Then Vomits!* *Then sees as she Smiles!*

As always, author, your subtle kinks are such a delight, but still a far cry from the coherency of your storytelling, as we won't be seeing Shantae again until the other half of the story.

Lucky: *Woozily* Nice to meet ya botsy! *Shakes her head!*

Lucky: Connie where are you? *Her voice ecos* She got us lost again! Then again it is connnie... Ive got to find her!

Lucky: *Looks for Connie*

How difficult could it be to find her in this presumably, I dunno, brightly lit and hazardless cave?

Connie: Luck? Sis where are ya? *Her voice ecos* *Tries to find Lucky!*

Lucky: *Talks about Connie* I wish i was more cool just like my big sis Connie! She's brave bratty and cute?

Lucky: *Her face starts turning cherry red!* I mea love her!

Image

Geez, can I not go just one story without this kind of shit?

*Then music starts and so does connie and lucky's first musical Number!* Ever since i met you *Flashback plays* we had a rough start...

Connie:: You were a pretty girl in thunder king's lair... you seemed so alone!

Oh, you are adopted sisters, then? Yeah, pseudo-incest is still going on the list. And where does that leave your brother?

Lucky: It was so scary and dark i just felt like a slave...

But were you one? Just stop pretending you can even tell their background stories this way, author!

*Sniffs Wipes her tears...* But when i met you you looked so cool... I was in love with you! When you had that plan to free from his lair... we would spend our days

Both: FOREVER!❤😍

Inside the lair, outside of it, together, or apart? I'm done giving you any courtesies by wasting my deduction skills on your waste-of-space narration, author.

Connie: You were so scared and i had to keep you safe! But after years you took care of yourself!

Lucky: Yove bathed me kept me cleaned and fed me i felt so Warm!

Connie: And lucky i really love yo- *Falls* UUUU! *Captured by moles!*

Nice attempt at flipping the one-dimensional damsel-hero dynamic you've established, author, but Connie can slow down time, teleport, use magic, and can probably cut through diamond with that tail of hers. Don't bother, man.

Lucky: And i hope you love me tooo... *Song ends* *Hears her sister in trouble* Sis?

Lucky: I'm coming! *Transformation music starts playing*

Kazoos. Because this shit.

Lucky:: Lucky! Princess form! *Her Transformation sequence starts to begin!*

The fact that you are already a furry does not help me guess what type of transformation to expect.

Lucky: By the love and and protection of my family... PRINCESS OF ICE! *Transformation sequence then ends*

Connie:: *Muffed* Evil Moles!:(

Lucky: Free my sis at once! ICE DYNAMITE!

*Then the moles are gone after the explosion*

Because when someone thinks ice powers, they really think explosions.

Connie: *Muffed* Lucky!

Lucky: Connie! Sis i'm sorry i was really harsh on you today it's just i miss Lanky & Gramps...

Now who the fuck is Gramps?! And you haven't even been a whole day away from Kidsland - grow up!!

Connie: I miss them too sis... We gotta beat some robot butt first!

Lucky: Your right and connie i had a big secret for a long time... i... *Blushes real hard because she's embarrassed*

Connie: I know i love you too!

*They were about to kiss until...*

Shantae: Aw that's so sweet!

So, let me get this straight. In your ploy to save the day and find the next crystal, which just happen to show up wherever you go, your free giant bird ride took you two numbskulls to a nearby cave that a stuffed Shantae also happened to waddle inside of, and not the next island over?!

Both: Shantae! Lucky: We aren't in love.

Shantae: *Rasies an eyebrow while teasing them are you sure?

Lucky: Ok we are in Love!

Shantae: I knew *Then barfs out the bones from the meat* It... *Hic...*

And nothing quite punctuates true love than another titillation of regurgitation. What mood are you actually going for, author?

Connie: I guess now that is done with... I can...

Lucky: Uh sis can i take us outta here? Connie: Sure! Lucky: *Then super jumps the girls out of the cave!*

All: *Looks for the next crystal*

What were you doing in the cave in the first place, if not to look for the darn thing there?!

Vixon: The plan is almost complete just need help from and idiot Mayor...

Mayor: *Walks home until...* vixon: *Grabs Him*

Mayor: Your that mean robot! Vixon: How about i make you a deal?

Mayor: Oh? Vixon: If you find me the black generator i'll give all the choclote in the World! Deal?

Black generator? What glue stick did the author sniff this time? That's not a thing.

Mayor: *Thinks about those chocolotte* Deal! *Shakes his hand!*

Vixon: Just remember DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS!

Mayor: Why not?

Vixon: *Then he lies* Because i don't want to ruin there Surprise that's It!

Be honest with me, author. Did you really think people reading this shit would take your ridiculous villain on his word, if you hadn't specifically told us of his intent of deception?

Mayor: Oh Alright! Vixon: Excellent! *Forms a evil Plan!*

Kind of late to start thinking, but that's just logic.

To be continued!?

Please don't.

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ConcernedGamer
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Re: Connie, Lucky and Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

Post by ConcernedGamer » Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:11 pm

It's still the same boring song and dance of these characters meandering off somewhere to grab a crystal for no other reason that they need to and the author lets them. Honestly, the only entertainment value is how fucking incredibly indecipherable and butchered every thought the author attempts to convey is. Here's Chapter 5, The Race The Plan!

*After Opening*

Last episode on Connie, Lucky, & Shantae: A Quest to save Uncle Mimic!

The girls continued on there search to find the last 2 remaining Crystals!

The Mayor was finding that Black Generator to get the chocolates or so he thinks!

Seriously, what the fuck is this Black Generator? What does it generate? Why is it black? Why is the mayor the one to locate it in an already completely ransacked Scuttle Town?

Enjoy Today's Episode!

Enjoy your obscurity protecting you from absolute ridicule, author.

Mayor: *Looks for a black Generator until he sees bolo!* Mayor's Mind: Oh no it's Bolo! I can't tell him about the Surprise!*

Dude, it's Bolo. Mr. Backwards-Upside-Down-Inside-Out, middle name 'Loser'. Tell him the time and place and he'll prep a surprise party on a separate island by himself and lose interest half-way through.

Mayor: *Whtles Dance though danger until he gets noticed*

Bolo: Hi Mayor!

Mayor: Oh! Uh... hi Bolo! *Chuckles nervously*

Bolo: I need your advice i'm trying to ask Sky to be my Girlfriend... And i don't know what to say!

Maybe something along the line of "Please don't let your dad kill me like he did your other suitors"?

Mayor: Get her some Chocolates! *Sees It* I have found it! Bolo: Found What?

Mayor: Nothing! Bolo: OOOok? Anyway thanks for your advice Mr. mayor! Mayor Scuttlebutt?

Bolo: Hmm i wonder where he went off to? He sure acted strange though Hmm... *Feeling Suspicious*

*Tranzition* *Lucky Does a backflip!*

I'm doing a few flips myself with my fingers, author, if you catch my drift.

Lucky: Wow! We are in Zombie Town! Pretty Nice!

Yeah, nice, considering it doesn't exist either, as civilized zombies are nomadic. I feel like the author is basing half this story on an imaginary fan game containing nothing but his own head cannon.

Connie: It's not to Bad! It's Alright! Isn't it Shantae?

Shantae: *Still Playing Riskey's Revenge on her phone beating the final Boss!* Come on come On!

You can just tell she's so determined to save her uncle and all of Scuttle Town, right?!

Lucky: *Sees and so does Connie!* You Can do it Shantae! Connie: Almost there...

Risky: *Also sees too!* *Smirking while remembering the good old days remembering she first came ti Scuttle town!* Just like the good old days eh Genie Girl?

Oh yeah, back in the days where idiot original characters weren't invading, Shantae wasn't a self-crippling, gluttonous baby, and you yourself could maintain existence throughout a single scene.

Lucky: Yay! You Won! I knew you can do it! *Stomach Rumbles!* *Pouts* And i still didn't get my Meat! *Does a cute mad Anime face!

Image

Shantae: Here! *Gives Lucky & Connie some Meat!* Sorry i was Greedy earlier and selfish... I just really miss my uncle... Both: *While eating the Meat!* That's ok Shantae!

I am constantly switching from gauging the content of this dreck as the byproduct of sheltered ignorance, or a massive lack of maturity. In either case, the naivete that is making the author present these self-pitying comfort eaters circumventing their prior issues of starvation by simply pulling meat from out of nowhere this time around, is unlike any I've encountered before.

Shantae: Yup Risky just like the good old days me meeting you for the first time! *Gives connie and lucky

Oh yeah, Risky's Revenge, old times, first time they met, sure. There wasn't a Gameboy Color game before it or anything like that, no sire.

Lucky: HeHe! *Trips* Ow! Rottytops: OMG! Are you ok? Lucky: Yeah i'm fi i i ZOMBIE! Ahhhhh! Don't eat my brain it's not even... Oh your Rotty Right? Your funny in the games. Rotty: *Blushes* Heh... Thx!

Shantae: You ok Lucky? Oh Hey Rotty! Connie: Are ya hurt?

Lucky: Nah i'm fine Honey!

Rottytops: Honey? Connie: We are a couple also i'm Connie btw. And this is my sis and my Girlfriend Lucky!

Because of course you are going to wear your incest on your sleeves when introducing yourself to people, to let them know for what singular reason the author probably created you.

Lucky: What's Up?

Rottytops: Nice to meet you two! Your trying to find a crystal Right?

Lucky: Yeah! How did ya know? Rotty: I heard the news that your uncle died Shantae so i wanted to help you guys... Only on one Condition!

Luckily for you, Rotty, I think the party currently has two brains to spare, in mint condition even, never used!!

Shantae: What's the catch Rotty? Rottytops: If you race me like in the good old days!

Shantae: Well it's been a longtime since we last race... I guess it'll be nice to race you again Rotty! I'll do it!

It happened for a minute in one of the games, and the author has no idea what else to do with these characters, so now he'll write it to happen again and pretend its nostalgia.

Lucky: *As a cheerleader* Go Shantae Whoo!

Connie: *Playing Half Genie Hero on her Laptop!* You can do it Shantae! Yahoo!

Are you done with your meaningless 'lol random gaming mentions' splurging, author? Because your 'lol competent writing' quotas are in the deep negatives right now.

Shantae: Thanks Guys! *Then the Minigame Music from the Shantae Series starts Playing*

Rottytops: Ready... Set... Shantae: *Gets Ready!* Rottytops: GO!

Shantae & Rottytops: *The 2 starts beginning Running!*

Shantae: *Begins Panting!* Man you are more faster then then me Last time.

Rottytops: *Panting* Thx Snack cakes! Besides i'm pretty sure that was you Shantae!

Yes, it was Shantae who was faster than than Shantae last time - author, is English your third language, right after moron?

Shantae: Oh... And don't calling me that!

Rottytops: What Snackcakes? That's your cute nickname!

Shantae: You really think i'm cute? *Blushes*

She said the nickname was cute, author, because that was what you wrote her to say! Do you use an interpreter to function in public?

Rottytops: Yup!

Shantae: *Then crosses the finish Line!* I Won Again!:D

Risky: Good work Runt! *She Smirks!*

Lucky: Wahoo!:)

Connie: *Closes her Laptop!* Awsome Job Shantae!

Rottytops: Alright Shantae here! *Gives her the Crystal*!

Shantae: Thx! Rotty and i love you too! Both: *Blushes!*

Welcome to 'totally legit confession sequiturs', where the author convincingly pairs off and establishes his OTPs, by using the dedication and believability lend over from the educational system that failed him.

Lucky: Look who's blushing now? *She said Teasingly!*

Shantae & Rottytops: *Still Blushing* *Cough* Right.. Shantae: A anyway thx Rotty!

Rottytops: Your welcome shantae see Ya!

Shantae: Bye!

Lucky: *Still teasing her* Shantae & Rotty sitting in a Tree...

Shantae: LUCKY! *Blushes Angerly*

All: G! *Makes Kissing Noises!*

Did you slow-bus subscribers seriously forget to chant out loud the first six letters of the word kissing?!

Shantae: *Mimics them! Untill* Hey i found the Volcano!

I'm sure you are so proud of yourself, since those are so hard to find, after all.

I'll go first! *Vacano then makes Noises*

Shantae: Like i said Lucky you go first!

Lucky: Me Why?

Shantae: You made fun of me! Lucky: You did the same thing!:(

Lucky: I know we'll do rock Paper Sissccoers! only one round.

Shantae: Deal! ROCK... PAPER SISSCCEORS...

Both: SHOOT! Shantae: Sissocers beats paper lucky! Lucky: DAMN IT!

Keep drooling on your keyboard, author, I'm sure one day you'll spell scissors by a mistake. I swear, autocorrects should be made mandatory for some people.

Lucky: *Mimics Shantae* You made fun of me! You did the same Damn Thing! *Whimpers* *Hears Hand cuffs!* Huh?

Connie: We are with ya all the Way! Risky: *Tries to break free!* Lucky: Thx Sis!

*They then walk inside of the valcano!* Lucky: *Starts to Sweat* Man it's hot in hear!

Connie: Well it is a valcano after All... Lucky: Good Point...Hey there's 2 Paths which way do we go?

Why, you stop pretending to be Dora the Explorer, keep walking the straight line the author marked down for you to follow to each and every single crystal, and fuck off with your lack of details, descriptions, and common sense.

Risky: We go to the 2nd Path...

Shantae: I don't know it doesn't look safe...

Risky: Say I if ya wanna go to the second path or nay to the first Path!

Connie & Lucky: I... Shantae: nay... *Sigh* Ok.

Aye see what you didn't know what to spell there, author.

Risky: Well there we go! *Then they go to the second Path!*

All: *Keeps Walking* Connie: *Looks Around!* Oooh... Ahh... Lucky: I see Light!

*Then they stopped walking because by the time that happened they were on a Cliff!*

Lucky: I don't see anything but a Stupid cliff! No food no Air!

Connie: Hey Luck think fast! *Throws Her a Banana!* Lucky: Thx! *Peels her Banana!*

Food is always available, of course, unless the author needs it to not be there.

Lucky: *Deadpanned!* *While eating* Ok there's food but still *Hears Cracking from the Cliff.*

Lucky: Hmm? *Shrugs* All: *Comes at the same time as Lucky*

Not the time I expected to complain about simultaneous orgasms, but okay.

Lucky: I don't think we should be that... *Cliff then Breaks and they all start falling* CLOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!

All: *Splashes!* *In the Process there handcuffs are Melted! But Connie Managed to grab the girls while summoning her Emblem then they were inside... because lucky has ice abilities the other side of the emblem cooled the other half of the Room!*

I'll let this speak for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HoCSTjkJRk

Mayor: I have found the Black Generator vixon can i have the chocolate now?

Vixon: Eggcelent! *Rim Shot!*

If only this was bad humor, at least I could laugh at the poor quality of it. But no, this fanfic is composed of nothing but failed attempts at humor. This is anti-fun.

*Then he calls his Minions to give him the Reward!* Here!

Mayor: *Grabs It!*Thx! Bolo: *Behind the Tree!* What's going on back there? *Whispers* I'll wait and see...

I'm pretty sure you should already have seen the Mayor being given the reward of all the chocolate in the world, which must be quite the handful.

Vixon: *Turns on the Generator making the Sky so Dark!* The Plans finally Complete! All because of the Mayor!

Right, the black generator. Does it generate something black? If mimic made it, odds are its just a coffee maker.

Bolo: ! MAYOR HOW COULD YOU? *Gets caught!* Uh Oh!

Vixon: There you Are! *Shoots Bolo with a Sleep Dart!*

What, were you all out of egg puns to reused Kazooie's sleep egg?

Bolo: Ow! *Then falls Asleep!* Bolo: *Snores!*...

Bolo: *Yawns* *Struggles because he is tied Up! Wha... What happend? AHHHHH! *As he see a blaster above Him! He then Sweats* Vixon: *Grins evily!* *Ties up Bolo's Mouth!* Vixon: Say your prayers you Blue Haird Ugly Freak!

Bolo: *Muffed: I'M NOT UGLY I'M JUST MENTALLY CHALLENGE!

One reason, author, that's all I'm asking. One reason to believe you are even capable of writing a single paragraph without insulting me, your readers, or yourself!

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS SHANTAE AND THE OTHERS WILL COME TO SAVE ME!

Vixon: We'll See... Come on now Operation plan to destroy Scuttle Town is Already in Motion! *Walks Away!*

What, as an encore? You already ransacked the town, emptying it of everything, including the people!!

Bolo: *Muffed: Shantae please Help Me! Then a tear comes out of bolo's Eye as he wait for his friends help!*

*Then the page fades to Pitch black!*

Page. This thing is your attempt at writing a comic book script, of a TV show, of a fictional reality, of original characters ripping off the Shantae franchise. Boy, author, don't let anyone tell you that you are shallow, because depth like this is what makes rock bottom what it is.

TO BE CONTINUED?

I don't react kindly to threats.

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