A Crystal Rising - an unoriginal Steven Universe fanfic
Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 2:38 pm
I'm just going to start off by introducing you to the summary of this M-rated story, A Crystal Rising, by the author ImageViewer. It's brief, it's bland, it's about as generic as you can expect from a bad fanfic.
A Steven Universe Fic: Blood onyx is a unique Gem unlike the rest of his fellow home world gems he is in fact a male gem the first of his kind created during the rebellion by home world watch as he rises through the ranks and becomes a legend. harem fic mature
If I were to sum up the predicted fiasco to be found within in one word, it would be 'mundane'. I cannot count the number of fanfics I've seen out on the Internet promising this super awesome character, wholly unique and special, who rises to glory while getting all the girls. Each and every one was an unashamed Marty Stu self-insert wish-fulfillment cliff-note exposition piece, that in one chapter skips straight on to the part where power endowments have been had, everyone loves the protagonist, and no one has a chance of opposing them, all while genital-carrying sock puppets parade around by the author's whims, fawning over the protagonist for no reason besides there being no plot saying they shouldn't. And in Steven Universe, where we find an entire race made out of feminine, shape-shifting, magical rocks that can be exploited by over-imaginative authors' misapprehension or disregard of even basic facts about these, this seem to be the default, run-of-the-mill product. A male gem - because of the author's genitals, who serves the Diamond Authority - because an entire matriarchy rewarding white knight gestures is the author's ideal fantasy, is the best there ever was - because he's an immortal, overpowered jackass who gets to decide what is morally just, and every Gem wants to bone him - because otherwise the author would have no motivation to write a fanfic, all the while misrepresenting genderless, inorganic aliens who doesn't reproduce through or engage in intercourse by their very nature. All that matters, however, is how bad the author is at even bringing this stock photo of a story template to life, and I can promise you already that this is one of the worse ones. Here's Chapter 1.
A Crystal Rising
This is my second Story that I have created so let go over what this is.
And lets go over the canon framing too, while we are at it. The first three chapters of this fanfic got published in January 2017. The nature of the Steven Universe show's plot twists coupled with Cartoon Network's abysmal release schedules, concludes that this story was started right before StevenBomb 5. Translating that into English, it means we are before Blue Diamond came to Earth, before we even got a glance of off-world places, before the flaws and faults and reveals of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz was any more than speculation, theories, and repressed, not yet confronted baggage to Steven. Why is this important? Why, because the author decides to fill in the blanks to suit no one but his self-insert gemsona and presents it as a story.
I do not own Steven universe or any of it official characters but my OC this fic might a small harem depending on you people and who you want for my OC character.
Does every harem-peddling author I come across plead for their readers to stay hooked merely by offering their influence on their idea-bankrupt fanfics? Whatever happened to having a story of your own to tell?!
So let's begin this shall we also forgive for any bad gamma's or misspelling I have.
It's kind of funny coincidence that I was beginning to consider your literacy to be on par with Hulk-speech, author.
He could remember when he first emerge from his hole he was different from his fellow Onyx unlike his others that were more feminine he was of Blood red colour as well as a more muscular frame and was a male clearly unheard of thought the history of his kind at first they wanted to dispose of him because he was a defect but because of the war he was sent to fight for their empire in the first series of battles he proved him to his superiors with his abilities and fighting prowess with a double bladed sword.
Nobody panic, I think I can decipher this. So, Onyx (M), an off-color gem to a type that hasn't been mentioned in the show to this day, came out bearing features distinct to organic mammalian gender stereotyping of the XY-chromosomes, wherein I'm not sure the author even understands that Gems don't have genders to compare, consider, or even identify these things. Because of dwindling war resources, this guy got thrown to the battlefield while able to summon a likely impractical weapon that his fellow Onyx (F) don't have. You know, what, I'll just call him Monyx from now on.
Throughout the rebellion he was feared for all of the battles that he'd won and how he kept on wounding Rose Quartz yet all of his wounds healed almost instantly he was eventually given a title that still strike fear into the heart of rebels the Crystal Reaper it was bad enough that as a soldier they knew where he was at all time but due the rapid success of his battle and fights with the rebel leader that he was promoted to a commander of his own unit and lead battles that they unprepared for as he would be in one place first then in the blink of an eye he was leading an assault on them in a different frontier.
Two rampant, rambling sentences in and we have a Mary Sue already, on top of the author not even giving a damn about how gems actually function. Let's list my grievances. Monyx wins every battle he's in somehow, personally besting the opposing faction's leader in every confrontation. He heals from injuries that Gems aren't capable of getting as their forms dissipate when punctured. He becomes a commander above his station despite Gem society already being established to be a caste system. He gets a nonsensical, edgy title better suited had he been on the side of the Crystal Gems as he isn't reaping crystals, and for unexplained reasons he jumps from place to place to be more of a menace in the war. This entire backstory dump could fuel a single fanfic on its own, for crying out loud.
Having risen to the rank of a commander to lead his own unit of gems which consisted mostly consisted of onyx's and amethyst that look up to him with jasper as his second In command whose loyalty to him was unquestionable as she has always stood beside him from his first battle to now as they face off in what will be consider as their final battle with Rose Quartz and her trusted advisors.
A Jasper or the Jasper, author? Oh, who am I kidding, you are already writing this on the level of a six-year-old learning about small-talk, we'll have to jump to every assumption at this point before paying a cryptologist to do it for us. I'm sure Jasper could only dream of answering to an imperfect gem who "earned" a rank she never expected nor could have gotten in the canon, as the entire balance of the war falls to Homeworld because of this one pebble the author threw into the grinder. And why is there not a single, damn comma in this chapter?!
Glaring at her with pure hatred for the deaths of those that they formed bonds with as well as starting the war by destroying Pink Diamond. Blood Onyx stands tall with authority he speaks to Rose with a dry tone "it's over Rose
"The author is letting me claim the moral high ground! Oh, and I'm also called Blood Onyx now."
you're pathetic rebellion has failed and for what to divide our empire and make gems fight one another" replying with a sad tone in her voice "you don't understand I didn't start this rebellion to divide us but free us from tyranny where we would all be equal gem not ruled by a caste system created by the Diamonds"
"Let me just spout a line that the author fed me about caste systems that the author has already proven isn't a thing because of you, as I'm sure it'll be in character with how much I think all life is sacred and worth protecting and that Homeworld would destroy this planet, just like how it's been mentioned every time I've ever been brought up in the canon."
taking a deep breath before continuing "I feel sorry for you. You protect your gems whenever you can yet you still take orders from Tyrants" wanting to get this over with quickly he tell her "unlike you I know where my loyalty lies Rose Quartz this will be the day where I crush you gem with my bare hands"
Translation: For opposing the side that the author is having me exploit for his wish fulfillment fantasies, you must die. Yeah, his new name is going to be Moronyx instead.
summoning his Red double bladed sword he rush at her with a speed that no average gem possess his slash was block by Rose's infamous shield before she countered with her blade. While he was fighting Rose, Jasper was leading his forces against Roses remaining forces lead by Pearl and Garnet who were seasoned veterans of Rose army
Not a Pearl and a fusion, mind you, we are stuck in a narrative that's ambiguously omniscient at times and barely coherent even as it only becomes structured when I break it up to make wisecrack about it.
the battle was legendary as all that was left of Roses forces was Pearl and Garnet however with Red Onyx his battle was coming to a closed as Roses was spotting cracks and cuts on her form and crystal while Onyx look perfectly fine except for look exhausted
What a legendary, nondescript battle, entirely removed from the canon implications of Rose only being able to save two gems besides herself in the final attack from the Diamonds when Rose won the war. And now it's 'Red Onyx' and the gemstones are crystals, when will this author read his own notes?!
wanted to do some damage before she was destroyed she let onyx piece her side letting her destroy his gem with a single thrust of her sword.
So, author, all that pacifying, bubbling, healing, and protecting the current corrupted gems, who by your writing are all Homeworld gems, is just a thing Rose decided to do for shits and giggles after being used as your murder-happy pretend-antagonist, endowing your gem-suit with immortalizing self-resurrection powers? Huff a few fumes you didn't make yourself, would you?
With his gem cracked and laying on the ground in pieces both side stop fighting to see that Red onyx was destroy Distraught by the site of their leader gem in pieces they retreated from their battle with Jasper carrying all of his gem pieces in her hands swearing to the Crystal gem that they will have revenge before entering ship and leaving the planet when they got order from home world that they are going to bombard the planet and every Home world gem must leave at once.
Of course the entire army turns tail and runs when the Mary Sue shatters. It's not like they are winning and could get revenge immediately against the remaining three opponents or anything. And then the Diamonds, who doesn't even know that the only dick in their entire empire got shattered yet, somehow thinks the thousand year war that's going in their favor with nothing but winning streaks needs to be bailed on while nuking their sought-out resources from orbit.
Every home world ship was orbiting the earth with every occupant that wasn't destroy or make it to the ship watch with satisfaction as their cruisers and destroyers launch every arsenal that they had on to the planet surface until all that was left was chunks of what had been one large land mass on the planet was now barren with no plant life showing on the surface.
Every home world ship, except the one Peridot fled to in the canon. Every occupant that wasn't destroyed, meaning all the corrupted gems on Earth are Crystal Gems that the author's bad narration skills only left three. And every arsenal from battle cruisers and destroyers that is now here out of nowhere and somehow wasn't in use for a war effort in the first place during a simple colony rebellion, with no battle damage from them being there to speak of later, and with no explanation or reasonable effect to how it fits with the overall canon. Did this fanfic inspire J. J. Abrams, by any chance?
However their victory was short lived as news of Red onyx death reach their ears they could hardly believe it their immortal hero and idol was dead killed by the leader of rebels traveling back to home world where the Diamond Authority was calling for session to discuss what became of the final battle.
Because that's what leaders do, right? Hold sessions about a war they just won, to review and reflect like it was a board meeting, right? Can you just get to the resurrection scene, author, since you've already set the stage and propped up the flat cardboard cutouts of characters that haven't even appeared on the show when you wrote this?
Jasper carrying the remains of Red Onyx past tearful and crying gems of different species to the great chamber where the 3 remaining Diamonds who were seated along with their pearls. To the Right Yellow who was in charge of their military a tall woman that held an air of Authority with her Yellow pearl who held a smug expression on her face by being in the present of her Diamond.
This character made one face during one scene, that must mean they are always this way during any situation they are in. Are you really this simple, author?
To the was Blue Diamond that held grace at court with her blue robes covering her face and her Blue pearl who had an almost blank expression on her face.
Finally in the centre was White Diamond who was a mystery to all even her fellow Diamonds the court was filled with almost all of home world gems with cameras broadcast to all gem controlled worlds what the Diamonds had to say.
Get it over with, already. Just announce the shattering, if the author is even aware of that word, of Red Blood Crystal Reaper Onyx, who everyone in the entire Empire of course knows about already from piddling around on the surface of a single colony.
They ask for Jasper to lay he gem on the floor and recall on how he was crack following their orders Jasper laid all of Onyx's gem piece on the centre of the floor before retelling on how he defeated Rose Quarts before she destroyed his gem.
Defeated Rose Quartz? Right, that must be the term to use when you are shattered and your army flees after the fact, I'm sure.
Taking in the details of the battle from her and the gems involved just as they were about to give another order a bright light emanated from what was left of Onyx's gem as all of the pieces of his gem reform back together until they were whole again with the final piece in place Onyx form returned.
Getting up from the floor he finds himself in the middle of the Diamonds court room with thousands of gems with shocked and joyful expressions on their faces and non-more so than Jasper who grabs him in a bone crushing hug.
I'm not even surprised at the dumb shit going on as I've already read dumb shit like this that was marginally better in presentation. The author comes off as nothing but a prattling child so far up his own ass from diving into self-indulgent power fantasies that it is kind of adorable. "And this is my gemsona Blood Onyx, he is unique for his penis, and he's the best soldier, and leads a squad, and Jasper serves him unquestioningly, and he's undefeated, and even when he gets defeated the entire Gem Empire will mourn him for three whole seconds before he comes back through the powers of bullshit, and he is better than ever, and then the whole court clapped." You adorable little retard, I could pinch your cheeks you are just so stupendously bad at writing an actual story, author.
After her hug he asks her what happen after he was shattered explaining the retreat and the bombarding of the earth she tell him that she was just retelling his battle with Rose that his gem reformed itself just as the Diamonds were about to give judgement.
Judgement? Was the author talking about legal court when he said this was a court room?
With her finishing he turn towards the Diamonds and performed the home World salute "My Diamonds" he said awaiting their orders. It did not take long for them to speak "Red Onyx" they began
"Or Blood Onyx, or Crystal Reaper, or Commander, whatever, it's not like we are supposed to acknowledge you by facet and cut numbers or something, we are here to hopefully only metaphorically suck your dick."
"you have proven to use that you are a hero to home world by Destroying Rose Quarts
Something, as it bears repeating, he did while shattered too, he's just that awesome. Did you forget what actually happened, or did you realize you forgot to let your self-insert accomplish something new to be praiseworthy for, author?
so it is by the Authority of the Diamonds that you will be the leader of the onyx gems. you will represent them and lead them for the empire" saluting them once more "My Diamonds you honour me with title and Position I will do my role to best of my abilities".
"And I'll do so by probably never once being used as or acting like a commander of anyone but canon characters ever again. I'll just keep these made-up soldiers in my back pocket and forget about distributing them to anywhere in the galaxy."
With the session over he and Jasper walk out of the court "so a new job and title impressive" she began "what do you plan to do now?" she ask while he was about to reply he notice the strange expression on every gems face as they pasted positive yet unnerving looks they were giving him even Jasper who had red tint on her cheeks
And every creature able to shapeshift a vagina into existence will blush and swoon as he passes. Why, you may ask? Just because. What, I mean, it's not like the author can give an actual reason, right? I'm being serious here, do you for a second believe the author capable of such a thing?
"I don't know" he replied "do what comes naturally I suppose" walking with Jasper to his new role as leader of the Onyx's.
And we are several thousand years away from the canon. What are the odds that's not going to be glossed over faster than Tumblr condemns fanart for this show?
Ok that that's the first of my second fic that I have added today please send reviews if you like it and if there is any way I might improve it.

Are you serious, author? Go read another fanfic. Any fanfic. There's at least a nine-in-ten chance you find something better, with plenty of inspiration for all that this lacks. I can understand people have different levels of legibility, skills of language, even comprehension and retention of thought, but what excuses this? How about you pose the question to yourself, instead of relying solely on others telling you that you suck? I'll lend you a few, but you still have to ask them to yourself. A second draft, for starters, would that improve this mess? Commas, do they exist on your keyboard or potentially found in anything else you've ever read in your life? Did you study the source material enough to make this passable as anything but a fanfic by mistaken identity? Are you a ten-year-old intending to dabble in lemon writing by your summary warning, and therefore still deserve no kids gloves from me? Don't get me wrong, author, you can improve. The amount you can improve upon, however, is staggering to the point of amazement.
There are ten chapters in total of this, with varying lengths to them. The abysmal writing skills are not the worst I've seen, but the utter lack of ability on even conveying the narrative certainly makes this a target worth mocking. As the summary mentioned, sex scenes will be a thing to expect from it, too. I believe I will reflect on each chapter as I go along, sum up bottled up thoughts and discern why the author failed, as a lead-in setting the stage for the next chapter, as even this author's own writing can't really manage to draw a proper thread between them. I've seen cobwebs more difficult to tear apart than this.
A Steven Universe Fic: Blood onyx is a unique Gem unlike the rest of his fellow home world gems he is in fact a male gem the first of his kind created during the rebellion by home world watch as he rises through the ranks and becomes a legend. harem fic mature
If I were to sum up the predicted fiasco to be found within in one word, it would be 'mundane'. I cannot count the number of fanfics I've seen out on the Internet promising this super awesome character, wholly unique and special, who rises to glory while getting all the girls. Each and every one was an unashamed Marty Stu self-insert wish-fulfillment cliff-note exposition piece, that in one chapter skips straight on to the part where power endowments have been had, everyone loves the protagonist, and no one has a chance of opposing them, all while genital-carrying sock puppets parade around by the author's whims, fawning over the protagonist for no reason besides there being no plot saying they shouldn't. And in Steven Universe, where we find an entire race made out of feminine, shape-shifting, magical rocks that can be exploited by over-imaginative authors' misapprehension or disregard of even basic facts about these, this seem to be the default, run-of-the-mill product. A male gem - because of the author's genitals, who serves the Diamond Authority - because an entire matriarchy rewarding white knight gestures is the author's ideal fantasy, is the best there ever was - because he's an immortal, overpowered jackass who gets to decide what is morally just, and every Gem wants to bone him - because otherwise the author would have no motivation to write a fanfic, all the while misrepresenting genderless, inorganic aliens who doesn't reproduce through or engage in intercourse by their very nature. All that matters, however, is how bad the author is at even bringing this stock photo of a story template to life, and I can promise you already that this is one of the worse ones. Here's Chapter 1.
A Crystal Rising
This is my second Story that I have created so let go over what this is.
And lets go over the canon framing too, while we are at it. The first three chapters of this fanfic got published in January 2017. The nature of the Steven Universe show's plot twists coupled with Cartoon Network's abysmal release schedules, concludes that this story was started right before StevenBomb 5. Translating that into English, it means we are before Blue Diamond came to Earth, before we even got a glance of off-world places, before the flaws and faults and reveals of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz was any more than speculation, theories, and repressed, not yet confronted baggage to Steven. Why is this important? Why, because the author decides to fill in the blanks to suit no one but his self-insert gemsona and presents it as a story.
I do not own Steven universe or any of it official characters but my OC this fic might a small harem depending on you people and who you want for my OC character.
Does every harem-peddling author I come across plead for their readers to stay hooked merely by offering their influence on their idea-bankrupt fanfics? Whatever happened to having a story of your own to tell?!
So let's begin this shall we also forgive for any bad gamma's or misspelling I have.
It's kind of funny coincidence that I was beginning to consider your literacy to be on par with Hulk-speech, author.
He could remember when he first emerge from his hole he was different from his fellow Onyx unlike his others that were more feminine he was of Blood red colour as well as a more muscular frame and was a male clearly unheard of thought the history of his kind at first they wanted to dispose of him because he was a defect but because of the war he was sent to fight for their empire in the first series of battles he proved him to his superiors with his abilities and fighting prowess with a double bladed sword.
Nobody panic, I think I can decipher this. So, Onyx (M), an off-color gem to a type that hasn't been mentioned in the show to this day, came out bearing features distinct to organic mammalian gender stereotyping of the XY-chromosomes, wherein I'm not sure the author even understands that Gems don't have genders to compare, consider, or even identify these things. Because of dwindling war resources, this guy got thrown to the battlefield while able to summon a likely impractical weapon that his fellow Onyx (F) don't have. You know, what, I'll just call him Monyx from now on.
Throughout the rebellion he was feared for all of the battles that he'd won and how he kept on wounding Rose Quartz yet all of his wounds healed almost instantly he was eventually given a title that still strike fear into the heart of rebels the Crystal Reaper it was bad enough that as a soldier they knew where he was at all time but due the rapid success of his battle and fights with the rebel leader that he was promoted to a commander of his own unit and lead battles that they unprepared for as he would be in one place first then in the blink of an eye he was leading an assault on them in a different frontier.
Two rampant, rambling sentences in and we have a Mary Sue already, on top of the author not even giving a damn about how gems actually function. Let's list my grievances. Monyx wins every battle he's in somehow, personally besting the opposing faction's leader in every confrontation. He heals from injuries that Gems aren't capable of getting as their forms dissipate when punctured. He becomes a commander above his station despite Gem society already being established to be a caste system. He gets a nonsensical, edgy title better suited had he been on the side of the Crystal Gems as he isn't reaping crystals, and for unexplained reasons he jumps from place to place to be more of a menace in the war. This entire backstory dump could fuel a single fanfic on its own, for crying out loud.
Having risen to the rank of a commander to lead his own unit of gems which consisted mostly consisted of onyx's and amethyst that look up to him with jasper as his second In command whose loyalty to him was unquestionable as she has always stood beside him from his first battle to now as they face off in what will be consider as their final battle with Rose Quartz and her trusted advisors.
A Jasper or the Jasper, author? Oh, who am I kidding, you are already writing this on the level of a six-year-old learning about small-talk, we'll have to jump to every assumption at this point before paying a cryptologist to do it for us. I'm sure Jasper could only dream of answering to an imperfect gem who "earned" a rank she never expected nor could have gotten in the canon, as the entire balance of the war falls to Homeworld because of this one pebble the author threw into the grinder. And why is there not a single, damn comma in this chapter?!
Glaring at her with pure hatred for the deaths of those that they formed bonds with as well as starting the war by destroying Pink Diamond. Blood Onyx stands tall with authority he speaks to Rose with a dry tone "it's over Rose
"The author is letting me claim the moral high ground! Oh, and I'm also called Blood Onyx now."
you're pathetic rebellion has failed and for what to divide our empire and make gems fight one another" replying with a sad tone in her voice "you don't understand I didn't start this rebellion to divide us but free us from tyranny where we would all be equal gem not ruled by a caste system created by the Diamonds"
"Let me just spout a line that the author fed me about caste systems that the author has already proven isn't a thing because of you, as I'm sure it'll be in character with how much I think all life is sacred and worth protecting and that Homeworld would destroy this planet, just like how it's been mentioned every time I've ever been brought up in the canon."
taking a deep breath before continuing "I feel sorry for you. You protect your gems whenever you can yet you still take orders from Tyrants" wanting to get this over with quickly he tell her "unlike you I know where my loyalty lies Rose Quartz this will be the day where I crush you gem with my bare hands"
Translation: For opposing the side that the author is having me exploit for his wish fulfillment fantasies, you must die. Yeah, his new name is going to be Moronyx instead.
summoning his Red double bladed sword he rush at her with a speed that no average gem possess his slash was block by Rose's infamous shield before she countered with her blade. While he was fighting Rose, Jasper was leading his forces against Roses remaining forces lead by Pearl and Garnet who were seasoned veterans of Rose army
Not a Pearl and a fusion, mind you, we are stuck in a narrative that's ambiguously omniscient at times and barely coherent even as it only becomes structured when I break it up to make wisecrack about it.
the battle was legendary as all that was left of Roses forces was Pearl and Garnet however with Red Onyx his battle was coming to a closed as Roses was spotting cracks and cuts on her form and crystal while Onyx look perfectly fine except for look exhausted
What a legendary, nondescript battle, entirely removed from the canon implications of Rose only being able to save two gems besides herself in the final attack from the Diamonds when Rose won the war. And now it's 'Red Onyx' and the gemstones are crystals, when will this author read his own notes?!
wanted to do some damage before she was destroyed she let onyx piece her side letting her destroy his gem with a single thrust of her sword.
So, author, all that pacifying, bubbling, healing, and protecting the current corrupted gems, who by your writing are all Homeworld gems, is just a thing Rose decided to do for shits and giggles after being used as your murder-happy pretend-antagonist, endowing your gem-suit with immortalizing self-resurrection powers? Huff a few fumes you didn't make yourself, would you?
With his gem cracked and laying on the ground in pieces both side stop fighting to see that Red onyx was destroy Distraught by the site of their leader gem in pieces they retreated from their battle with Jasper carrying all of his gem pieces in her hands swearing to the Crystal gem that they will have revenge before entering ship and leaving the planet when they got order from home world that they are going to bombard the planet and every Home world gem must leave at once.
Of course the entire army turns tail and runs when the Mary Sue shatters. It's not like they are winning and could get revenge immediately against the remaining three opponents or anything. And then the Diamonds, who doesn't even know that the only dick in their entire empire got shattered yet, somehow thinks the thousand year war that's going in their favor with nothing but winning streaks needs to be bailed on while nuking their sought-out resources from orbit.
Every home world ship was orbiting the earth with every occupant that wasn't destroy or make it to the ship watch with satisfaction as their cruisers and destroyers launch every arsenal that they had on to the planet surface until all that was left was chunks of what had been one large land mass on the planet was now barren with no plant life showing on the surface.
Every home world ship, except the one Peridot fled to in the canon. Every occupant that wasn't destroyed, meaning all the corrupted gems on Earth are Crystal Gems that the author's bad narration skills only left three. And every arsenal from battle cruisers and destroyers that is now here out of nowhere and somehow wasn't in use for a war effort in the first place during a simple colony rebellion, with no battle damage from them being there to speak of later, and with no explanation or reasonable effect to how it fits with the overall canon. Did this fanfic inspire J. J. Abrams, by any chance?
However their victory was short lived as news of Red onyx death reach their ears they could hardly believe it their immortal hero and idol was dead killed by the leader of rebels traveling back to home world where the Diamond Authority was calling for session to discuss what became of the final battle.
Because that's what leaders do, right? Hold sessions about a war they just won, to review and reflect like it was a board meeting, right? Can you just get to the resurrection scene, author, since you've already set the stage and propped up the flat cardboard cutouts of characters that haven't even appeared on the show when you wrote this?
Jasper carrying the remains of Red Onyx past tearful and crying gems of different species to the great chamber where the 3 remaining Diamonds who were seated along with their pearls. To the Right Yellow who was in charge of their military a tall woman that held an air of Authority with her Yellow pearl who held a smug expression on her face by being in the present of her Diamond.
This character made one face during one scene, that must mean they are always this way during any situation they are in. Are you really this simple, author?
To the was Blue Diamond that held grace at court with her blue robes covering her face and her Blue pearl who had an almost blank expression on her face.
Finally in the centre was White Diamond who was a mystery to all even her fellow Diamonds the court was filled with almost all of home world gems with cameras broadcast to all gem controlled worlds what the Diamonds had to say.
Get it over with, already. Just announce the shattering, if the author is even aware of that word, of Red Blood Crystal Reaper Onyx, who everyone in the entire Empire of course knows about already from piddling around on the surface of a single colony.
They ask for Jasper to lay he gem on the floor and recall on how he was crack following their orders Jasper laid all of Onyx's gem piece on the centre of the floor before retelling on how he defeated Rose Quarts before she destroyed his gem.
Defeated Rose Quartz? Right, that must be the term to use when you are shattered and your army flees after the fact, I'm sure.
Taking in the details of the battle from her and the gems involved just as they were about to give another order a bright light emanated from what was left of Onyx's gem as all of the pieces of his gem reform back together until they were whole again with the final piece in place Onyx form returned.
Getting up from the floor he finds himself in the middle of the Diamonds court room with thousands of gems with shocked and joyful expressions on their faces and non-more so than Jasper who grabs him in a bone crushing hug.
I'm not even surprised at the dumb shit going on as I've already read dumb shit like this that was marginally better in presentation. The author comes off as nothing but a prattling child so far up his own ass from diving into self-indulgent power fantasies that it is kind of adorable. "And this is my gemsona Blood Onyx, he is unique for his penis, and he's the best soldier, and leads a squad, and Jasper serves him unquestioningly, and he's undefeated, and even when he gets defeated the entire Gem Empire will mourn him for three whole seconds before he comes back through the powers of bullshit, and he is better than ever, and then the whole court clapped." You adorable little retard, I could pinch your cheeks you are just so stupendously bad at writing an actual story, author.
After her hug he asks her what happen after he was shattered explaining the retreat and the bombarding of the earth she tell him that she was just retelling his battle with Rose that his gem reformed itself just as the Diamonds were about to give judgement.
Judgement? Was the author talking about legal court when he said this was a court room?
With her finishing he turn towards the Diamonds and performed the home World salute "My Diamonds" he said awaiting their orders. It did not take long for them to speak "Red Onyx" they began
"Or Blood Onyx, or Crystal Reaper, or Commander, whatever, it's not like we are supposed to acknowledge you by facet and cut numbers or something, we are here to hopefully only metaphorically suck your dick."
"you have proven to use that you are a hero to home world by Destroying Rose Quarts
Something, as it bears repeating, he did while shattered too, he's just that awesome. Did you forget what actually happened, or did you realize you forgot to let your self-insert accomplish something new to be praiseworthy for, author?
so it is by the Authority of the Diamonds that you will be the leader of the onyx gems. you will represent them and lead them for the empire" saluting them once more "My Diamonds you honour me with title and Position I will do my role to best of my abilities".
"And I'll do so by probably never once being used as or acting like a commander of anyone but canon characters ever again. I'll just keep these made-up soldiers in my back pocket and forget about distributing them to anywhere in the galaxy."
With the session over he and Jasper walk out of the court "so a new job and title impressive" she began "what do you plan to do now?" she ask while he was about to reply he notice the strange expression on every gems face as they pasted positive yet unnerving looks they were giving him even Jasper who had red tint on her cheeks
And every creature able to shapeshift a vagina into existence will blush and swoon as he passes. Why, you may ask? Just because. What, I mean, it's not like the author can give an actual reason, right? I'm being serious here, do you for a second believe the author capable of such a thing?
"I don't know" he replied "do what comes naturally I suppose" walking with Jasper to his new role as leader of the Onyx's.
And we are several thousand years away from the canon. What are the odds that's not going to be glossed over faster than Tumblr condemns fanart for this show?
Ok that that's the first of my second fic that I have added today please send reviews if you like it and if there is any way I might improve it.

Are you serious, author? Go read another fanfic. Any fanfic. There's at least a nine-in-ten chance you find something better, with plenty of inspiration for all that this lacks. I can understand people have different levels of legibility, skills of language, even comprehension and retention of thought, but what excuses this? How about you pose the question to yourself, instead of relying solely on others telling you that you suck? I'll lend you a few, but you still have to ask them to yourself. A second draft, for starters, would that improve this mess? Commas, do they exist on your keyboard or potentially found in anything else you've ever read in your life? Did you study the source material enough to make this passable as anything but a fanfic by mistaken identity? Are you a ten-year-old intending to dabble in lemon writing by your summary warning, and therefore still deserve no kids gloves from me? Don't get me wrong, author, you can improve. The amount you can improve upon, however, is staggering to the point of amazement.
There are ten chapters in total of this, with varying lengths to them. The abysmal writing skills are not the worst I've seen, but the utter lack of ability on even conveying the narrative certainly makes this a target worth mocking. As the summary mentioned, sex scenes will be a thing to expect from it, too. I believe I will reflect on each chapter as I go along, sum up bottled up thoughts and discern why the author failed, as a lead-in setting the stage for the next chapter, as even this author's own writing can't really manage to draw a proper thread between them. I've seen cobwebs more difficult to tear apart than this.