Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Mon Dec 09, 2019 11:53 pm

@ConcernedGamer: Thank you very much for clarifying your previous comment, I now understand what you meant back then. While your criticism of just how inconsistent the unfunny comedy routines were to the overall scope of this fic, one thing I’m surprised you didn’t comment on was the arrival of the author’s self-insert. Rarely have I seen such a shameless introduction that reduced half the chapter into mindless repetition on how much of a desirable sex machine he is, and how he has all the girls clamoring for his dick.

Anyway, as I said the last chapter was a glorified wankfest for the self-insert. And what better way to wash it out than with a shitty fight scene?


A short author’s note, but this is one of the slower chapters, so I don’t have much to say on it. It’s still a fine piece of art so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Keep in mind that the next chapter will be fucking amazing, so I hope I hyped you all up for it.

Fine piece of art? Well considering how a banana sold for over $120,000, anything can be considered art I suppose.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 48: From Verosia with Love

Starlight Studios: The next morning

Having returned from their sleepover with their prisoner in tow; the Angels of Aevium waited patiently outside the holding cells downstairs, their gazes occasionally shifting towards the clock on the wall, which rested at around half past 10 in the morning. A few minutes later, the door opened as Ren and Julius walked up the stairs, their faces as pale as snow.

“Remind me to never anger Saphira…” Ren reminded his friend, shivering in fear to himself. “I’m just lucky she was willing to listen to us.”

“Thank goodness she caved in and used lube; I’d hate to see what would happen had she refused.”

“Yeah, I’ve met some people who can get really angry, but she would have to take the cake.” Julius replied, his gaze soon shifting towards the Angels “O-Oh hi there. Everything’s going as you would hope; can’t believe that man would stoop so low as to spy on you while you were getting dressed.”

“Luckily he’s getting a firm reminder not to do that sort of shit again.” Venam chimed in, leaning in closer to the duo. “So, what did you two get up to last night?”

“Something similar to what you got up to the other night; Damien, Richard and Hardy were more than happy to join us on our night together. There we, spent a couple hours trying to beat Hardy in Guitar Hero, but it proved to be an impossible feat.” The raven-haired teen chuckled. “Luckily we weren’t confronted by those fools masquerading as pizza boys and old ladies.”

Thus sparing you from a worse incarnation of Blackadder than the very first season.

“Yeah, last night was a blast, but I bet you want some juicier details, don’t you? We weren’t able to get the entirety of the plan, but we got a fair amount from him. Basically, the Divine Conspiracy has made some connections in the Verosian Empire, netting them several caches of powerful Neo Monsters. A recon team has been sent to retrieve one of these caches on the southernmost island; a series of isles dubbed the Tropical Isles. He also mentioned somewhere called Fendi, so I assume that’s the town where they’re meeting up.” The brown-haired man beside him continued, taking a quick breath to collect himself. “That was all we were able to get so far.”

“It may not be much, but it’s a sufficient lead to start off with. Thank you very much!” Melia smiled at the duo, who bowed in respect before her.

“Since it’s a tropical setting, there’s bound to be dozens of wonderful beaches where we can cool off once we’re done. Heh-heh, I bet the boys wish they can come along with us…” Nim chuckled to herself, with Ren and Julius letting out a quick yelp before shuffling their feet on the floor in embarrassment, fierce blushes appearing on their faces.

Silly Ren, thinking he has a chance of scoring with the author’s waifus.

“As much as the extra company wouldn’t hurt, I’m sure there’s something else they could be doing right now that’s a little more pressing than hanging out at the beach.” Erin began, taking out a small clipboard from her duffle bag. “While the Angels of Aevium have nationwide support back home, it’ll do us wonders if we had someone popular spread the message about us. Thankfully, Risa Raider was more than happy to help us out in this instance. As we’re speaking, she’s preparing for her trip to Tokyo, but it’ll be a week before she gets here. I take it you know what to do?”

Oh goodie, more characters getting jammed into this nightmare of a trainwreck. Apparently for this guy, enough is never enough.

“Yeah, you want me and Ren to prepare lodgings for her, then pick her up at the airport once she lands, escorting her here to safety.” Julius deduced, the white-haired maiden nodding back in response. “Sure, we can get that done and dusted. But I thought she would want to meet the Angels in person.”

“True, but she can always meet us back here. Besides, knowing her she’ll be head over heels in joy once she sees you again, given how long it’s been since you last met. Between you and me, I think she has a crush on you.” Saki replied, whispering the last sentence to the young man, who was caught off-guard by the statement.

Oh for fucks sake, that makes NINE characters who are hungry for the author’s cock! I don’t want to keep harping on this, but how can I stop when that’s all the author throws in my fucking face?!

“At this stage, it’ll be easier to list off the people who don’t have a crush on Jules!” Ren chuckled, with Julius covering his now red cheeks to hide his blush, as his mate rested his hand on his shoulder.

“Witty banter aside, there’s one more thing we need to address; that being the monster accommodations. We’ve done our research on the matter, and have been able to determine the best habitat, food and training equipment for the monsters. Maria’s helping a few of our contacts set up a ranch in the HQ’s backgarden, so she’s not coming with us for this mission.” Aelita informed the group. “However, as we’re already Pokémon trainers, it’ll be difficult for us to train and raise an entirely new species of monster, hence why we feel that Astolfo and his group would be able to handle them.”

But they’re too busy playing card games against incompetent assholes to care about a bunch of monsters. You’ll have to try another group, Aelita.

“Card players by day, monster tamers by night; it’ll be an exhausting experience for them. Unlike me, who can handle being a Rockstar, gym leader and a secret agent at the same time!” Amber huffed proudly to herself.

“Only problem with that is Astolfo might sicc his monsters on someone who’s merely disinterested in our games; that guy can get a bit too devoted at times.” Crescent inputted her two cents.

Well at least she’s open about how much of a deranged fanboy the auth—Astolfo is.

“Not to worry, we’ll make sure that he doesn’t get too carried away with his newfound source of power.” Ren pledged.

“Once we’re done with the preparation’s for Risa’s visit, I’ll pay Maria a visit, have some sibling-bonding time with her.” Julius added.

“Wonderful, I’m glad that you both agreed with us! Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to get ready.” Melia smiled at the duo, the Angels leaving the area to prepare for their trip to Verosia.

Fendi: Tropical Isles of Verosia.

The villains had finished setting up the temporary base of operations for this mission; knowing that time was of the essence. With the news about their latest operation leaked to their foes, AI knew that he had to act fast and ensure that no fuck ups occurred. However, looking at his updated team, he was starting to have doubts himself.

Should’ve brought along the Big T-Girl if you wanted to have a remote chance of success.

“Bro!” Roboppi cried out in joy, hugging his older brother. “This is gonna be amazing; our foes would tremble before our might.”

“True, so long as we’re not up against the Angels of Aevium. I assume you know all about them?” AI asked his younger brother.

“Yeah…they’re the ones who foiled all of Pegasus’ cunning plans.” The blue-haired boy replied.

Yeah; such amazing plans as “dressing up like a police woman with big tits” and “acting like complete fools while leaking your plans about Neo Monsters.”

“His plans weren’t that cunning at all; hinging on his foes having a momentary IQ loss to fall for his ruse. Anyway, I did a bit of research on them and was surprised by what I found out. Turns out the Angels are a group of Aevium’s most recognizable female trainers; be it Gym Leaders, Coordinators, etcetera, etcetera. What’s unique about them is that several members are blessed with magic powers, boosted by their…intimate relationships with each other.” The tall youth explained, attracting the attention of Ryder and Pegasus.

Raise your hands; how many of you think that his “research” was a ruse to download tons of lesbian porn?

“Magic powers? No wonder my Millennium Eye was powerless against them!” Pegasus gasped.

“It’s not like you used the damn thing…” Ryder mumbled under his breath. “In better news, did you here that Yuuto has finally bit the dust? Thank goodness; I was getting sick of that creepy asshole!”

You were there when he was executed, why are you saying this as if you heard about it from somebody else?

“Yes, after all it’s not like I saw his execution.” AI retorted sarcastically, his gaze soon shifting to one of the other villains on the team. “Ah, Hongou. I take it everything’s going alright on your end?”

“Indeed. I was able to finish setting up the radar tower alongside Deathstroke and Mario.” The older man replied, before sighing in a mix of weariness and annoyance. “But I would like to know why you thought it would be smart to bring those three with us at the same time!”

AI looked over at where Hongou was pointing…only to see Tayama, Dio and the Scarecrow arguing amongst themselves for the millionth or so time.

Alright, timeout here! We’ve been told that these three would bicker amongst each other should they get within five feet of each other, yet the super smart Ai decided to go “fuck it” and have them work together on the same mission. Are the enemy setting themselves up for failure on purpose? Or is this another attempt at comedy? Either way, it’s gone past annoying and became fucking infuriating!

“No, no, no, no! That’s not how you build the communication tower!” Dio snapped at the other two, his eyes bulging with fury over the shoddily made tower.

“Such blue-collar work is beneath me, it’s terrifyingly boring…” Scarecrow spoke carelessly, tossing a spanner aside. “Besides, it’s not like I wanted to work with you three.”

Yeah, Scarecrow doesn’t want to work with Tayama, Dio and…wait, you three?! For fucks sake author, proof-read your damn shit before posting it; otherwise I’d assume that you had a fourth asshole lusting after Serra.

“And I didn’t want to work with you ugly bastards as well! However, we were forced to come along by AI, citing that we needed to redeem Ryder’s shame…it’s not my fault that buffoon failed in his duty.” Tayama scoffed in disgust.

“Well it wasn’t my fault either; must’ve been Shit-crow and his crappy toxin.” Dio retorted, shrugging his shoulders.

“At least I’m not some cockroach who can only gain validation by stealing my special woman from me.” Scarecrow hissed.

“How many times do I have to tell you two assholes this?! Serra is my prize, and my prize only! I won’t let EITHER of you take what is rightfully mine!” Tayama bellowed, shaking his fists in the air.

If you’re tired of saying that godforsaken line, then don’t. I know your appearance in SMT IV was meant to make you as detestable as possible, but there are other ways to do so than mindlessly spamming the same line over and over again.

“In case you two mongoloids don’t already know, I already married her, so you two greedy losers can just—” Dio began smugly, before a loud crash startled the Terrible Trio.

“All of you, shut the fuck up!” AI snapped at the trio. “Every fucking time you imbeciles talk, it’s always about this Serra chick or whatever; it annoys your teammates and prevents them from getting the job done. And when my sub-ordinates don’t work, I get angry. And when I get angry, heads are going to fucking roll!”

Thank you Ai, but cut down on the cussing; that’s my job.

“What of it? You only got your position because Tressa took pity on you; you have no worth whatsoever—” Scarecrow retorted, pointing his syringe gauntlet at the infuriated man. In a near-instantaneous movement, AI snatched his fingers and crushed them in his vice-like grip, shattering the syringes and his fingers as Scarecrow howled in pain. Angered at this upstart who opposes his one true dream, the Master of Fear lunged at the young man and attempted to punch him, only for AI to twist his foes arm and shatter it, bringing the man down to his knees. Leaning towards his downed foe, AI plunged his thumbs into Scarecrow’s eyes, the older man crying out in absolute agony as he tried in vain to break free from the brutal assault.

Remember the lovable, if melancholic Ai from Yugioh Vrains? Now take that same Ai and have him gouge out the eyes of a Batman villain as if he was a stone-cold murderer. If you thought that’s the stupidest, try-hard shit of all time, then I’m glad we can come to an agreement.

“D-Don’t look kid…” Ryder spoke to Roboppi, shielding his eyes from the gruesome sight as Pegasus cringed hard at the sight, having gone through a somewhat similar process. Deathstroke was seemingly fine with the scene before him, having witnessed some gruesome sights himself, while Hongou and Mario were sporting pale faces, bordering on the verge of throwing up. Tayama and Dio were horrified at what they were watching, small droplets of blood getting on their faces with AI’s thumbs coated in the viscous fluid. With a final grunt, the young man obliterated Scarecrow’s eyeballs, a small shower of blood staining the nearby area as the Master of Fear slumped to the floor, the brutal attack too much for his body with Shesha soon snatching his soul from his dead body.

“Now…” AI panted, his hands coated in blood as a bloodthirsty smirk formed on his face. “Do any of you two want to test my patience?”

If he’s doing his best impersonation of Jack the Ripper, then I’ve got to give him some kudos for trying.

“N-N-No sir. W-We’ll keep quiet about her from now on…” Dio stuttered in fear, stepping back a few feet.

“I-I-I agree…l-let’s bury the hatchet Dio.” Tayama stuttered as well, sweat pouring down his forehead as the two men quickly shook hands.

You better stay quiet about her, or else I’m gonna smack you up with a pizza roll.

Sighing in content to himself, AI made his way back to the command post, satisfied that the issue between them was dropped at last, even though it led to Scarecrow’s death.

“Good to see that you’ve made up…oh and if anyone asks about Scarecrow, let them know that he attacked me first.” AI reminded his sub-ordinates.

And here we have another villain bite the dust, the ever-so infamous Scarecrow. Why he was lusting after Serra will never be known, but I assume it would’ve been incredibly stupid.

“Agreed, I saw it all play down, so you have the advantage here.” Deathstroke muttered, crossing his arms as the sound of a helicopter whirred in the distance. “Ah, the contact must be here already.”

“Not just the contact…our monsters as well.” Mario added, his eyes gleaming in the moonlight as the chopper dropped a sizable shipping container on the soft, sandy beach, with the helicopter landing beside it as a hooded figure stepped out of the machine.

“Ah…you must be the Divine Conspiracy. A pleasure to meet you; I am Rippy of the Verosian Inquisition. We have heard many good things about your organization.” The hooded figure introduced himself.

And I don’t know who this guy is; I can’t be assed to play Neo Monsters again due to how fucking bad it’s become so I’ll let the non-entity remain as such.

“A pleasure to meet you, Rippy. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about ZTECH, and how you’ve monopolized the sport of Neo Monsters.” Pegasus chimed in happily.

“Neo Monsters is the most profitable sport in the world, even more so than those wretched fangames that the Angels of Aevium support.” The hooded figure continued.

Well that’s not hard to accomplish, given how they have no desire to make money off of it.

“Ah, you’ve heard of our enemies?” Hongou added.

“How could I ever forget them? They’re the ones who purged our organization of several key members, costing us billions of dollars. What they didn’t know was that the people they killed were affiliated with the Cult of Kosmos; liberating us from them has only bolstered our strength further. However, with this deal, our alliance is but guaranteed, especially since we’ve given you some very powerful monsters to use.” Rippy explained.

Wait…Cult of Kosmos? Didn’t the Angels only learn of their existence in the chapter with Ren’s redemption; is this a retcon, or a shitty reference to his Neo Monsters fic?

“So I take it you’ll be wanting payment now?” AI inquired, with Rippy shaking his head.

“No need to worry, Tressa has already paid us using Krishna’s credit card. Boy I can’t wait to see how angry he gets over the bill.” The Verosian chuckled loudly, a second helicopter arriving at the field by the beach and dropped the second container on the lush grass.

You sound like one of those vapid morons on Twitter who posts a shitty gaming take before going “lol, can’t wait for angry fanboys to flood my mentions.”

Also, Krishna’s credit card? Why on earth would a deity even need a credit card for?! Is that how he can afford the salvation he promises all the damn time?


“Good…the second container has been delivered. Now to make my—” He continued, before the town lights died down suddenly, surprising the villainous cabal.

“W-What is this?!” Ryder exclaimed, as spotlights soon shone onto the villains, blinding them momentarily.

“When evil lurks in the shadows of night, only one group can save the innocent from the scourge…” A voice spoke out to them, before another spotlight shone onto the source of the voice, revealing the Angels of Aevium in their epic pose. “Have no fear, for the Angels of Aevium are here!”

“N-No! Not you girls again!” Rippy cried out in fear, quickly running over to his chopper before hopping in and flying away from the scene, leaving everyone else baffled at what they saw.

And that’s it for our non-entity friend. Boy, was he worth the bandwidth used to make this chapter.

“…Well that’s one way to make an exit.” Mario commented, glaring at the Angels of Aevium. “I have a bone to pick with you thieves; slandering my company’s good name while producing that dreck you call games. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves for stealing from me!”

“Says the guy who willingly joined a terrorist organization…” Melia commented snidely, her attention soon directed to Pegasus and Ryder. “And how can I forget about you two perverts? Rest assured, I’ll make sure you get your just desserts.”

“S-S-Sorry about that other night! I-I-I was pressured to spy on them by that Yuuto guy…” Roboppi apologized, breaking down into tears as AI rested his hand on his shoulder, the Angels unsure on what to say next.

They could tell that he was lying, as that fuck Yuuto only had one goddamn line in this entire fic!

“I-I see…then I guess we won’t go so hard on you in that case.” Nim replied, stunned at the young boy’s response. “But enough chit-chat! There’s only one thing we came for and that’s—”

“The monster eggs!” A third voice called out, with both groups turning to see a large platoon of Divine Powers Supporters. “Well, well. Looks like the traitors done our jobs for us. Why don’t we pay them back for the humiliation we suffered back in Shikoku?”

Oh boy, these guys again. I can tell that what’s coming up will be a bucket of fun…

“Ugh! I can’t believe you irrelevant assholes haven’t died out yet!” AI scoffed in annoyance.

“You shut your mouth, you dirty bastard!” The DP platoon leader snarled, as one of his subordinates walked up to them.

He was planning on scolding his boss for such language, given that he never knew his father.

“Hey boss…those are the Angels of Aevium over there.” The solider slurred in a creepy tone of voice. “When we’re done over here, shall we bring them back with us as our playthings?”

“Good idea…it’s been way too long since I’ve had a good fuck; these Angels will provide me with more pleasure than a mere mortal deserves.” The platoon leader sneered, the lovely ladies scoffing in response.

“Yet again, we’re faced with assholes who only care about their libido. Just my luck…” Erin commented to herself, with Deathstroke turning his gaze to them.

Even she knows that the ‘faceless rapist’ trope is getting old at this point.

“Hey, Angels. We may be sworn enemies, and that won’t change anytime soon. But what do you say to teaming up to deal with these punks for good?” He offered.

“Alright then, but you better not pull a fast one on us.” Melia agreed hesitantly, warning the experienced mercenary as the former foes started down the DP soldiers.

0000

With a guttural battlecry, the DP soldiers bumrushed the group in a sloppy frenzy, the Angels rolling their eyes at the pitiful attack.

Look, I know that I’m essentially asking for the impossible, but would it hurt you to have one, one enemy encounter where they aren’t reduced to brainless bags of blood?

An enemy soldier lunged at Melia, only for her to dodge the attack and decapitate the hostile tosser, his body crumpling to the ground. Angered by the death of his comrade, another soldier attempted to kill Venam in revenge, only for the purple-haired woman to dodge his attack, stabbing him in the back as the grunt landed facedown in the dirt. While that was happening, Amber and Saki had their backs together, keeping an eye out for each other as several DP soldiers bumrushed the duo and attempted to kill them, only for the lovely ladies to repel the attacks rather easily, which greatly annoyed the platoon leader.

“Grrrr! How are they this strong?!” He growled with AI chuckling to himself.

Plot armor, and the fact that the author lusts after them. It’s more than enough to ensure that they’ll never get killed.

“It’s because they have sweet, passionate love with each other every night. I haven’t seen it myself, but I’m pretty sure it’s a most beautiful sight.” AI smirked, the Angels frowning at him as the DP soldiers grew lustful expressions on their faces, lewd thoughts plaguing their mind.

Methinks that Ai’s after some coochie; it’s gotta be hard to get laid if you’re a robot with artificial intelligence.

“Thanks asshole, you just made them even hornier.” Crescent scowled at the enemy commander.

“I think it’s for the best; just look at what it did to the soldiers.” Nim pointed out, watching the DP soldiers make several sloppy mistakes, their minds too clouded with lust to focus on the task at hand.

They were full of lust the moment they arrived on stage; what makes this moment any different?

Seizing this opportunity, Nim quickly climbed up one of the shipping containers and began picking odd the DP soldiers, who all fell easily into one bloody pile. Now understanding what AI was going for, Crescent dove into the group and mowed several soldiers down with her naginata, spraying blood and gore everywhere, with the DP leader flinching at the brutal sight. While that was happening, Aelita and Erin opted for a combo-attack, narrowly dodging an incoming charge and slaughtered the grunts responsible, the duo then opting to launch a surprise attack on another group of soldiers, where they proceeded to give each other a quick kiss after killing the incompetent soldiers.

“G-Gah! These Angels are far too strong for us!” A DP soldier cried out.

Gee, how’d you come to that conclusion?

“Fear not! They’ll be vulnerable once we kill those fools in the Divine Conspiracy!” The platoon leader called out, as he and his grunts let out a cry and bumrushed the DC agents, who all looked at the enemy in contempt.

“Just how often are you going to use that same, ineffectual strategy?” AI inquired, as he and his agents intercepted the tossers, the young man lunging at the platoon leader and snapped his neck, killing him instantly.

Three more kills and he can call for a care package.

Ryder brought out his twin pistols and began shooting at the soldiers, killing them easily since they forgot to bring their guns with them, while Pegasus fired a powerful laser beam from his Millennium Eye, incinerating a few grunts in his wake.

Letting out a battlecry to invigorate his spirit, Deathstroke jumped into a large group of DP soldiers and drew his katana, slicing them up easily as they tried to push him to the ground, but were too weak to do so. Mario took out a Fire Flower, and quickly ate it, before powering up enough to launch several fireballs at the enemy soldiers, burning them alive as they were quickly reduced to ashes. While that was happening, AI and Hongou joined forces, intercepting the attacks from several grunts as AI brought out his jewel-encrusted sword (think of the sword that was offered as a prize in the Swordquest competition, back in the days of the Atari 2600),

It’s been a gaming mystery for over 30 years, but we finally found the damned sword. Good on you, gamers!

and slaughtered several grunts, while Hongou was using his fists to beat a soldier to death.

Roboppi was hiding behind one of the shipping containers, gently caressing his clothed erection upon seeing the Angels demolish the DP soldiers. However, he soon turned to focus on Dio and Tayama fighting off some hostiles and was surprised to see them working together. The myrmidon brought out his serrated sword and hacked a few soldiers to pieces with his weapon, while Tayama was impaling several grunts on his sharp spear, flinging the dead bodies onto the ground.

“Heh…you’re a better fighter than I anticipated.” Dio chuckled lightly.

“Well I gotta maintain my grip over Tokyo somehow. Besides, these chumps are weaker than my Ashura-Kai, so it’s not like I’m struggling or anything.” Tayama responded, wiping the blood off his weapon as the few remaining soldiers fled the area. “And that wraps it up; you’re not so bad when you’re not trying to steal my prize from me.”

Don’t tell me they’re gonna fuck later in this fic; I’d rather have them arguing like imbeciles than engage in sweaty old man sex.

“I could say the same about you, old man—hey, where’d those Angels go?” The myrmidon began, noticing that they had left the battlefield, before the whirring of copter blades cut the young man off. He soon turned his gaze and saw that the Angels had boarded the second helicopter, which still had the second shipping container in tow.

“Sorry that we have to leave so quickly, but we’ve got business to attend to. Hope you don’t mind if we take a souvenir home.” Melia smiled playfully at the villains, the lovely young lady gesturing her companions to start the copter up, the villains watching helplessly as they saw half their loot fly away.

Smooth moves, Melia. You go get your rewards for this shitty raid boss.

“You motherfucking thieves! It’s fucking bad enough you fucking steal my fucking games from me, but you fucking have to go and fucking steal the fucking monsters that my boss ordered us to fucking buy! Fuck you, you fucking no good thief motherfuckers, you all fucking suck eggs!” Mario ranted, shaking his fist angrily at the retreating helicopter.

Wow, how mature and intelligent of you to turn Mario into some cuss-happy sailor, Junpei.

“Ah…how disappointing. Either way, we got more than enough monsters to work with. But heed this, Angels; this isn’t the last time we’ll meet.” AI smirked, before noticing that Roboppi had came out from behind the remaining container, his hands covering the front of his pants as the older teen sighed to himself.

Starlight Studios:

“I see…you fought alongside the Divine Conspiracy briefly to repel an attack from the Divine Powers. Funny how life works sometimes.” Astolfo replied to Melia’s report regarding her mission. “Speaking of which, there’s been a slight change in plans regarding the monsters. We’re gonna train them up in order to boost the power of several resistance groups who chose to oppose Tressa and her forces. The ranch has been completed so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Nice, do we get any info about these—oh what’s that, they have no fangame waifus in them? Well there goes my chance of having them described to me.

“Good. With that out of the way, we can begin a new plan of att—” The blonde woman began, before Micaiah’s PDA started buzzing, the silver-haired maiden picking it up to answer the message.

“Looks like we don’t have to wait much longer for a plan. Now let’s see what’s in store for us—Ah, The Hunter Association wants to take out an important base of operations belonging to the Divine Powers. And it’s being led by Flynn?!” She read the message aloud, jumping back in surprise upon seeing the last sentence. “Flynn’s recovered from the previous assault?”

“Nice! That ought to bolster the Hunter’s morale now!” Roland smiled, cracking his fist together. “Now we can renew our assault on the Divine Powers.”

Yeah, hopefully you can get the plot moving for once, even if it’s the length of a gnat’s dick.

“Indeed. The Hunters have requested that both our group, and the Angels of Aevium join in to help them out. After all, having twice the firepower would greatly increase our chances of success.” Micaiah added.

“Luckily, we know all-too well on how to deal with their incompetent foot soldiers.” Venam chimed in, as she and Melia gave each other a quick kiss. “Well let’s not keep out hosts waiting; we’ve got a deities’ ass to kick!”

It wouldn’t surprise me if the final chapter of this thing has the Angels + Julius engage in an orgy to defeat Tressa and her cronies for good.

Agreeing with the idea, the two groups left the studio and began the long trek to the Hunter HQ, not knowing that this assault would be one of the most climactic moments of their lives.

A nice cliffhanger to leave you all on; hopefully I hyped up Chapter 50 enough for you all, since it’ll revolve around the Tokugawa Mandela from SMT: IV A. How will things go down? Well you’ll have to read it to find out.

The Tokugawa Mandela; the same moment in the game where the player engages in a boss fight against Maitreya? Looks like I might get my plot development after all.

That aside, I took a look at Chapter 49 and beyond…which is when the story goes completely fucking apeshit and becomes so bad it’s good in terms of quality. Which means that we’ll get to end things off on a few chuckles at least, even if it wasn’t the way Junpei had intended.


Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah/Jonathan
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer/Walter

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth
Baal
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
Hallelujah
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick
Triple 6
Pretty Boy
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:57 am

Well Christmas was a bummer for me, especially when I had THIS lump of coal wedged in my stocking. Ah well, time to see if I can salvage something funny out of this mess.

If you thought that Chapter 45 was a major milestone, then it has nothing on this chapter. It’s gonna be my best one yet, with an intense duel, intense combat and even a nice lemon to end things off. It’s gonna be a triple serving of fun and games for you all to enjoy!

Card games, combat and even a lemon; puts a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘three strikes and you’re out!’

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Warning: There will be a lemon in this chapter

Chapter 49: The light of dharma

Hunter Association HQ

The atmosphere in the room was more charged that usual, the hunters over the moon regarding the recovery of their savior. Taking their seats quietly, both Astolfo’s group and the Angels of Aevium waited patiently for the presentation to begin, their gaze shifting to Fujiwara and Skins as they made their way upstage.

“Thank you all for coming here today; as you may have heard, we’re planning an assault on a major stronghold belonging to the Divine Powers.” The bespectacled man began the meeting.

“It figures that you’re all excited to finally get this slow-as-molasses plot moving a bit.”

“Let’s just get to the main reason they’re all here.” Skins chuckled, the two leaders stepping aside as the curtain behind them shifted and squirmed, a familiar figure stepping up to the podium as the crowd cheered like crazy, applauding the return of their beloved savior.

“Greetings, my fellow hunters! I apologise for my absence in a most dire time, but I am back in fullform! Together, we shall teach the Divine Powers why they shouldn’t mess with us and our freedom!” Flynn boldly declared, the hunters letting out another loud cheer. “Today, we shall raided the Divine Powers stronghold in Ōta, where that dastardly Maitreya seeks to rebuild the Tokugawa Mandela, leaving us vulnerable to their counterattacks. But we destroyed it once before, so we can easily destroy it again!”

Which brings up the question on why the Divine Powers are attempting to rebuild something that failed once before. More SMT rip-off shenanigans I assume?

“F-Forgive me for interrupting you, but what is the Tokugawa Mandela?” Chevalier inquired, raising his hand up.

“I can answer that for you; the Tokugawa Mandela was a mystical banner designed to protect the humans from the demon army. However, now that we can utilize demons in our missions, the Mandela becomes more of a hinderance than a help. The Divine Powers must be hoping to use this opportunity to reclaim the initiative that they lost long ago.” Fujiwara answered, making his way back to the podium.

“Even with this Tokugawa Mandela up, I doubt it’ll benefit them in the long run; my group fought alongside the Divine Conspiracy to repel a sizable army of soldiers. Though the truce was temporary and both sides didn’t trust one another, we were able to fend them off while suffering little, if any casualties.” Melia chimed in, an intrigued look appearing on the leader’s face.

That was because the idiots forgot to bring their own weapons to a fight; what good would an anti-demon barrier do if it doesn’t keep your soldiers from acting like complete ninnies all the time?

“Interesting, seems that both sides were willing to bury the hatchet temporarily in order to fend off the bigger threat. Perhaps we could ask for their assistance when the final assault begins.” The bespectacled man mused to himself.

“I wouldn’t count on it; what’s stopping Tressa from pulling a Nanashi on us? I hate to admit it, but she’s quite the crafty foe.” Skins knocked back the idea. “It was a lucky occurrence that they teamed up for that one battle, but I doubt it’ll happen again.”

“So, what is it that you want us to do?” Astolfo asked.

“Your mission is to escort Flynn and Isabeau to the main shrine room in the temple, assisting them in disabling the Mandela and deal with Maitreya once and for all. I assume it wouldn’t be that difficult for you.” Fujiwara explained.

Of course not; after all the cannon fodder would crumple at the sight of them, and the big boss himself will be stuck playing a rigged card game against the authors cock-puppets.

“I offer my sincerest apologies for delegating the lot of you to simple bodyguards.” Flynn apologised to the heroes.

“Eh, no biggie. After what happened to you back at Tsukiji Kongangi, it’s no wonder that you feel the need for protection.” Aelita brushed off the apology, clapping her hands together. “So, when are we going to begin this assault?”

“Right now, in fact.” Skins answered, the hunters murmuring amongst each other in confusion. “If we can catch them off-guard with a surprise assault, they’ll be too startled to plan a proper defence, enabling us to strike them at their weakest.”

“Good thinking. Besides, even if they do go for a counterattack, it’ll be the same haphazard charge that they love using.” Boudica chimed in, the hunter leaders letting out a quick chuckle in response.

Please Junpei, enough of this self-awareness garbage. It’s bad enough that you turn your villains’ army into the fanfiction equivalent of a paper tiger, but I don’t need your mouthpieces to constantly spout that fact all the time!

“Quite right—” Fujiwara began, before the sound of a distant explosion echoed throughout the area. “Sounds like the battle has begun. Hunters, to your stations immediately!”

“Aye-Aye!” The crowd cheered, quickly rushing out of the large room, as per orders.

Divine Powers Stronghold: Ōta

The sounds of battle raged on, as the forces of good and evil clashed in an epic battle for the ages. Though the Divine Powers had the initial advantage on the account of the temple being on their home-turf, the heroic hunters managed to quickly gain the advantage and began decimating the enemy. While both armies clashed with each other, the lancer group had made their way to the front door to the temple, with Flynn and Isabeau raising an eyebrow in confusion over the size of the structure.

If that was all the combat for this chapter amounted to, then I am sorely disappointed. You promised us three things yet you couldn’t even deliver on the first one; this is low, even for you, author.

“I expected this place to be a bit bigger, given its importance.” Isabeau commented, analysing the temple. From the look of it, it appeared to have one main room, and a couple smaller rooms to store any spare supplies the group had lying around.

“At the very least, this should be an easy task for us; dive in and dive out before you know it. Bada-bing, bada-boom!” Saki cheered, jumping for joy.

“True, but I doubt Maitreya would go down that easily. He’s one of the head honchoes after all.” Roland reminded the group.

“Heh, that just makes things all the more…exciting.” Flynn smirked confidently, the group kicking down the temple doors before charging in, where they confronted the villainous deity tending to the shrine.

“All you had to do was knock and I would’ve given you salvation…” Maitreya mused to the group, turning around to face the heroes. “But then again, I didn’t expect fangame zealots like you to know what manners are.”

Because a person’s manners/attitude rely solely on that games they play. In that case, I better stay the fuck away from high schools since all the Danganronpa I played might make me force the students to kill each other.

“Shut up!” Astolfo snapped, venom dripping in his voice as the pinkette pointed his sword at the enemy. “I will make you suffer for all the innocent fans you slaughtered in your cruel crusade.”

“Slaughtered? All we did is bring them salvation. It’s not my fault that your poorly made games were in the way of our noble goal.” Maitreya retorted.

“Yeah, having people get fed to some giant snake in order to fatten it up. Real noble goal there.” Venam snarked sarcastically.

You may not understand it, but feeding the snek deity is an important step in the realization of one’s own destiny in their grand scheme of things—sorry for spouting all that gibberish, but it makes more sense than whatever the villain strawman is saying.

“Oh, hush you! Your girlfriend and that infernal Maiden of Dawn are the reason why gaming has gone downhill. Gone are the days of flawed, two-dimensional characters that go through character development throughout the game’s story. Instead we get fed perfect, holier-than-thou Mary Sue’s who can do no wrong, or should I say Melia Sue’s.” Maitreya ranted in a calm, collected manner.

Because this is what Shin Megami Tensai is all about; having various deities act like caricatures of people who weren’t a fan of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. Perhaps this is why SMT V is taking so long; they’ve busy collecting shit arguments like this.

“Why you—” The purple-haired girl seethed, only for Melia to rest her hand on her wife’s shoulder, giving her a reassuring glance as she and Micaiah stepped forward to confront the villain before them.

“So, you’re saying that we’re perfect, one-dimensional characters that go through no development, right?” Micaiah inquired.

“Exactly; characters like you are ruining the gaming medium itself, and those accursed fangames only lionise those infallible Mary Sues.” Maitreya replied.

“I see…so perfect characters can spoil a story for you, no matter how engaged you were in beforehand. I think I understand now; I just have one last question for you…” Melia continued, a smug smile growing on her flawless face. “Would you be voicing these same complaints if either of us were male?”

Well it is kinda humorous that Melia and Micaiah insert their two cents on the whole ‘Mary Sue’ debate, given the controversy surrounding those two in their respective fanbases.

Also, what the fuck does gender have to do with anything?! Males have their own version of Mary Sue, dubbed Gary Stu.


“W-What?!” Maitreya exclaimed in shock and fear, a series of confused glances were exchanged among the heroes, however Astolfo had a good hunch on where this was going.

“Heheheh…this is gonna be good.” The pinkette smirked under his breath.

“Seeing strawmen get destroyed is my 3rd favorite fetish.”

“I’ll be the first to admit that neither me, nor Melia are perfect characters. We’ve all done some questionable things in our respective games that led to us getting chewed out for it. But here’s the thing; we’ve seen some of the criticism that our characters get and all it amounted to, was a pile of uneducated whining. Rather than take the time to read up about our respective characters, they just go off on some angry crusade to punish us for existing.” Micaiah began, a smug expression forming on her face as well.

This is such a comically bad argument that I don’t know where to begin. Micaiah’s detractors, while sympathetic to the whole blood pact thing she and her allies were forced to obey, found her tactics/attitude very questionable; most notably a scene where she was willing to pour oil over an enemy army and set them on fire. In Melia’s case, her detractors find it annoying just how often she’s put in the spotlight, at the detriment of the player character. And while I don’t hate either of these characters, I can see the arguments their critics offer and at times agree with them, which is more than can be said for this immature author.

“Spot on! Nim and I did a little digging in your Steam library and shock of all shocks, I found games that had perfect, flawless male protagonists. Yet I don’t see you complaining about any of those characters. Guess I know why you and your old god chums hate the fangames so much; they have plenty of female characters that challenged and frightened your old-fashioned beliefs. I’m pretty sure that you do have some obsession with me and my friends, hence why you allowed some cultist asshole to create those dakimakuras while masquerading as Ren. Bottom line; anyone who criticises me can be easily proved wrong by my cunning intellect!” Melia finished off the dramatic speech, as the heroes and the hunter army applauded her like crazy.

Ah, so that’s what Krishna uses his credit card money for. I also like how the entire Hunter Army ceased their fighting just to applaud the heroes for their “brave” speech.

“I’ll teach you to insult the old gods!” Maitreya snapped, bringing out his duel disk. “I’ll school you in the ancient art of Duel Monsters!”

“As much as I want to wipe you out with my deck, it’s been ages since my darling Sothe had some fun, so I’ll nominate him as my champion.” Micaiah smiled, the young rouge stepping up to the plate in her steed.

“Sure, I wouldn’t say no to defeating this bigot. Gives me a chance to try out this new deck I bought recently.” Sothe accepted the challenge, bringing out his duel disk as Micaiah gave him a good luck kiss.

Damn, he’s not using Blackwings like last time.

Well let’s get this card game over with already, not like I have anything better to do today.


“I will crush you in front of your friends, then I’ll destroy that loathsome duo known as Micaiah Sue and Melia Sue!” Maitreya declared, both combatants shuffling their decks.

“Duel!!” Both duelists declared, drawing their opening hand.

(Insert track here: SMT IV A: Divine Powers boss battle theme)

Now we’re introducing music tracks into the already ass-tacular duels?! At the very least, the song fits given who the opponent his, but that doesn’t make the concept any less stupid.

Sothe: 6000
Maitreya: 6000


“I’ll begin by activating my skill right away ‘Dump and Pump’. Once per turn, I can discard a number of cards to the Graveyard, then draw cards equal to the amount I discarded.” Maitreya began, discarding two cards before drawing two cards. “I summon Bujin Arasuda from my hand and end with a card facedown.”

Bujins! Finally, one of my absolute favorites is getting the spotlight for once! It’s just a shame they’re getting used alongside a skill with quite possibly the worst name of the bunch.

“Oh boy, this is gonna be tricky…” Blair muttered under her breath.

“How so? That monster doesn’t look that tough.” Boudica replied, the young girl turning to face her.

“As you’re still a newbie to the game, I’ll give you a heads up about Bujins; the deck relies on utilising the Bujingi monsters to protect their Beast-Warrior Bujins from destruction; often punishing the opponent for making their plays. In the right hand, it’s an especially deadly deck.” Blair explained the situation to her elder.

In other words, it’s ‘Takeshi’s Castle’ the deck. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun to play with, but playing against it is one of the most gruelling experiences in the game.

“W-Will Mr. Sothe be alright?” Maria inquired nervously.

“He’ll be fine sweetie, I’ve seen Sothe’s new deck and it has some serious potential.” Micaiah replied, a confident smile on her face.

“Not bad, I expected a big shot like you to carry such a powerful deck. Makes it all the more satisfying when I crush it; I draw!” Sothe began, drawing his card and gazed at it. “I play Terraforming to add Dragon Ravine to my hand, before proceeding to play it. Then I’ll use it to send Dragunity Phalanx from my deck to my Graveyard. Next I’ll summon Dragunity Dux and use its effect to equip Phalanx from my Graveyard to itself, before proceeding to use Phalanx’s effect to special summon itself. Then I’ll tune them together to Synchro Summon Dragunity Knight Gae Dearg and use it’s effect to add a monster to my hand, then sending a different one to the Graveyard.”

Huh, Dragunity’s. That’s another interesting choice that plays into his character as well. What the hell, I didn’t expect this guy to do his homework, but he did. This almost makes up for that godawful Blackadder chapter from before.

‘He’s going all out on this battle, I just hope he knows what he’s getting into…’ Astolfo thought to himself.

“Battle! Gae Dearg, destroy his Arasuda for the glory of your tribe!” The young rogue boldly declared, the draconic knight leaping into battle and charged at the ancient warrior, crashing into it at blinding speeds as a sizable dust cloud was kicked up. When the dust died down, it showed that Arasuda was gone, but two of Maitreya’s cards began glowing suddenly.

“Foolish boy. You fell for my trap; Bujin Raven destroys the monster that defeated my Bujin, while Bujin Pavo allows me to summon another Bujin from my deck. Come, Bujin Yamato!” The deity declared, discarding his cards as a dark blue laser struck Gae Dearg, destroying it instantly while a second beast-warrior took Arasuda’s place.

Shit, he managed to get Yamato on the field. May as well save yourself the trouble and scoop.

Maitreya: 5200

“Tch…I’ll set two cards facedown and end my turn.” Sothe grunted in annoyance.

“This is not good. Maitreya managed to get his key monster out and destroy Sothe’s synchro in one turn. Coupled with a skill that enables him to dump needed cards to the graveyard in exchange for a fresh hand, and you’ve got quite an uphill battle.” Blair commented firmly, crossing her arms. “If Sothe wants to win this duel, he needs to deal with all those Bujingis as soon as possible.”

“How disappointing, your ace card destroyed already. In that case, I draw.” Maitreya retorted.

If you thought Gae Dearg was the ace monster for a Dragunity deck, then you’re either being a smartass, or you’re just an idiot.

“Behold, the Card of Demise. This allows me to draw five cards, on the condition that I send my hand to the graveyard after five turns. I’ll banish the Arasuda from my Graveyard to special summon Bujin Hirume, before overlaying my Yamato and Hirume to XYZ Summon Bujintei Kagutsuchi, milling five cards from my deck with its effect. Next, I’ll summon a second Yamato from my hand and follow up with my facedown card, Bujin Regalia – The Sword to add Bujingi Swallow to my hand, before discarding it to allow Kagutsuchi to attack twice this turn. Now prepare for a brutal beatdown; Kagutsuchi, crush this zealot with your might!”

The empowered warrior lunged at Sothe and fired a beam of light from its mirror at him, the young man crying out in pain as his lifepoints dropped harshly. It soon leapt back and shot a second beam of light at the young man, only for him to use his facedown card, Back to the Front, to bring back his Gae Dearg, the draconic knight taking the lethal blow for him.

Sothe: 3500

“Such is the fate of those who opposes the Divine Powers. I set a card facedown and end my turn, using Yamato’s effect to add a Bujin from my deck to my hand, before sending a different one to the graveyard.” Maitreya concluded his turn, a smug sense of superiority in his tone of voice.

Until Sothe gets a lucky draw and proceeds to chew Maitreya out for, I don’t know, being a bigot or some shit.

“Heh…I’ve been waiting for such a challenge, I draw!” Sothe began, smirking at what he drew. “Nice, I activate Quill Pen of Gulldos, shuffling two monsters from my grave to my deck to return a monster on your field to your hand, and I’ll choose your Kagutsuchi.”

“You fool! By activating my Bujingi Turtle’s effect, I can banish it from my grave to keep my monster safe from—” Maitreya began.

“Caught you! I activate my Quick-Play Spell, Called by the Grave! By targeting and banishing your Turtle, it’s effect gets negated. Furthermore, you cannot use any more copies of Turtle for the rest of this turn!” The young rogue countered; the deity letting out a gasp as his powerful XYZ monster was shuffled back to the deck.

Damn, he’s bringing out the staples for this one; clearly, he’s that hungry for Micaiah’s coochie.

“Next, I’ll summon Dragunity Aklys and use its effect to special summon Dragunity Militum from my hand and equip it to him. Then I’ll use Militum’s effect to special summon Aklys from the Spell/Trap zone, tributing them to Synchro Summon Dragunity Knight Vajrayana, using it’s effect to equip Aklys from the graveyard to itself.”

“Hah, like that weakling is a match for my Yamato!” Maitreya scoffed arrogantly, with Sothe shaking his head in response.

“Guess I’ll have to play teacher for you; I activate Vajrayana’s effect, sending my Aklys to the graveyard in order to double it’s attack. Furthermore, Aklys’ effect activates, enabling me to destroy a card you control, so say goodbye to your Yamato!” The young rogue commented, the draconic knight picking up its comrade and flung it like a dart, piercing the beast-warrior as it soon exploded into thousands of pieces.

It may seem silly at first, but playing darts with your Yugioh cards is a great way to pass the time with your friends.

ATK (1900-3800)

“Cute…but by destroying my Yamato, I can special summon Bujin Mikazuchi from my hand.” Maitreya retaliated, the dark blue beast warrior appearing onto the field.

“Then I’ll crush it in battle; Vajrayana, obliterate that Mikazuchi!” Sothe declared, the draconic knight charging head on towards its foe.

“From my hand, I activate Bujingi Crane, doubling my Mikazuchi’s ATK! I’ll make sure your knight goes down with my warrior!” The deity retorted, revealing his card and discarded it as an orange aura coated the Bujin warrior.

ATK (1900-3800)

“Sorry, but I won’t be going down that easily. I activate Rush Recklessly from my hand, giving Vajrayana an additional 700ATK!” Sothe smirked, with Maitreya letting out another gasp as the draconic knight gained a sudden surge of speed and crashed into Mikazuchi, obliterating it instantly.

ATK (3800-4500)
Maitreya: 4500


“Finally, I’ll end things off by activating my other facedown card, Dragunity Legion and use it’s effect to equip Aklys from my grave to my Vajrayana. Go ahead, make your move.” The rogue smirked, his monsters attack returning to normal.

ATK (4500-1900)

“I see, he managed to set up a loop that powers up his monster and destroys a card of his choice. How impressive...” Erin mused to herself, watching the duel from the sidelines.

What, she’s felatiating a character not named Julius? What sorcery is this?!

“Quite right, however it doesn’t seem like Maitreya’s ready to throw in the towel.” Aelita added.

“Impressive, you fight with such ingenuity and grace. Have you considered joining the Divine Powers? You’d be free of the Mary Sues that have ruined your character and attain true salvation.” Maitreya offered, only for Sothe to knock the offer back.

Tempting, but do you have weekly bake sales and sufficient healthcare? Because if so, then you may have won me over.

“Nah, I’ve got no interest in joining your group. I love Micaiah too much to abandon her for a bunch of old-fashioned bigots.” The young rogue retorted, the heroes cooing in awe and happiness over his noble comment as Maitreya scowled in response.

“Have it your way, but I will not show you mercy. I draw!” Maitreya snapped back, drawing his next card. “Excellent, I activate Bujincarnation to special summon a Yamato from my grave, and my Arasuda from my banished zone, overlaying them together to XYZ summon Bujintei Susanowo. Next I’ll follow up with Dark World Dealings; enabling us to draw a card before discarding one.”

“Fine by me.” Sothe replied, drawing a card before discarding it.

“Battle! My Susanowo shall crush your dragon—” The deity declared, with Sothe chuckling in response.

“Sorry, I’ll activate my Bacon Saver to negate the attack and end your battle phase.” He smirked, banishing the card from his grave to negate the incoming attack.

“But how?!” Maitreya began, before narrowing his eyes at his opponent. “Heh, I’m not surprised that you’d resort to cheating; must’ve been the first lesson that those fangame zealots taught you at their indoctrination camp.”

Dude, you just played Dark World Dealings earlier. I get that you’re a punching bag and all, but would it hurt you to read your cards for once in your life?

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before. Now are you going to end your turn or what?” Sothe inquired, causing Maitreya to growl under his breath.

“I’ll use Susanowo’s effect, detaching a material to take a Bujin from my deck and either add it to my hand, or send it to the grave, and I’ll pick the latter. I’ll end my turn with a card facedown.” The deity scoffed.

“Good…it’s my turn!” The young rouge began, drawing his card and smirked at it. “I’ll play Card of Sanctity to refresh our hands to six cards apiece. Then I’ll activate Vajrayana’s effect, sending my Aklys to the grave to double it’s ATK. And while we’re at it, let’s activate Aklys effect while we’re at it.”

ATK (1900-3800)

“I won’t fall for that trick again! By banishing the Bujingi Rabbit from my graveyard, I can protect my Susanowo from getting destroyed once this turn.” Maitreya countered the attack, his Rabbit shielding the beast-warrior from the incoming dragon.

“Damn. Oh well, it’s not the end of the world.

I like how casually he replied to his best play getting negated. A far cry from Mr. Gaspbag over here.

I’ll summon Dragunity Partisan from my hand and use it’s effect to special summon Dragunity Angusticlavii from my hand and equip Partisan to it. Then I’ll follow up by activating Dragunity Legions second effect, enabling me to special summon a Dragunity monster from my spell/trap zone, and I pick my Partisan. Then I’ll tune my Partisan to my Angusticlavii to Synchro Summon Dragunity Knight Trident! Now I’ll have my empowered Vajrayana attack your Susanowo. Too bad your Rabbit can’t save your hide a second time.” Sothe smirked at the deity, who chuckled dryly in response.

“I don’t need it to; I can send my Bujingi Crow from my hand to the grave to negate the attack, and deal damage equal to half your monsters attack.” Maitreya retorted, with Sothe’s eyes widening as the attack was bounced back at him, the young man crying out in pain as he was flung back a few feet.

Sothe: 1600

“You’re persistent, you know that? But so am I. I activate the Quick-Play spell, Double or Nothing. Since Vajrayana’s attack was negated, it gets to attack again only this time, it’s attack is doubled.” He panted, playing his next card.

ATK (3800-7600)

“Tch…I’ll activate a second Bujingi Crane from my hand to double Susanowo’s attack!” The deity countered, his own warrior becoming empowered once more.

ATK (2400-4800)

The two monsters crashed into each other, kicking up a large amount of dust that temporarily blanketed the arena. When the dust died down, it showed that Susanowo had been obliterated, with Vajrayana letting out a triumphant roar.

Maitreya: 1700

“And now my Trident, finish this loathsome deity once and for—” Sothe began

“I’ll use my facedown card, Call of the Haunted to bring back my Bujintei Kagutsuchi from the grave. Are you sure you wish to continue your attack?” Maitreya commented, bringing back his powerful monster once more.

But your Kagutsuchi was shuffled back into the Extra Deck via Quill Pen of Gulldos. And you had the audacity to accuse Sothe of cheating?!

“I’ll end my turn with a card facedown, during which Vajrayana’s attack returned to normal.” The young rouge ended his turn.

“How predictable…I draw.” The deity called out, analysing his new card. “I play Bujin Hiruko as a Pendulum spell, using it’s effect to banish it in order to XYZ summon Bujinki Amaterasu using my face-up Kagutsuchi as the entire material required. Then I’ll remove from play two Bujins in my grave, Centipede and Quilin, to destroy your Legion and Vajrayana respectively. Now I’ll have Amaterasu attack your Trident, during which I banish Bujin Sinyou to increase Amaterasu’s attack by the amount of my opponents’ monster, that being your Trident.”

ATK (2600-5000)

The attack struck the dragon head-on, with Sothe letting out a cry of pain as he was flung back once more, before barely managing to get back up to his feet, a tired and weakened look on his face.

Sothe: 300

“Consider yourself lucky that Sinyou’s effect halves the battle damage you would take from that battle. I end my turn, knowing full well that I’ll emerge victorious on my next turn.” Maitreya chortled confidently.

Don’t say that! You’ll only increase Sothe’s chance of drawing the card he needs by 400%

“Yeah, you might emerge victorious next turn. It’s just a shame that you won’t live to see next turn. I draw!” Sothe commented, drawing his next card and looked at it, mentally thanking the stars for giving him exactly what he needed. “I play my facedown card, Call of the Haunted to bring back my Vajrayana. But it alone cannot secure me victory; it requires the assistance of my Dragunity Kuse!”

“Bah! What can that shitty little monster do? It’s got way less attack than my Amaterasu.” Maitreya scoffed in contempt.

If this is how pathetic Maitreya acts during his duel, then the duel against Krishna will be a fucking ride and a half.

“For an omniscient deity, you can say the dumbest things at times. My Kuse is locked into summoning Dragunity Synchro monsters only, but here’s the kicker, it can be treated as a Level 2, or a Level 4 tuner.” Sothe retorted, the heroes letting out a quick cheer as he raised his hand to the air. “By tuning my Level 4 Kuse to my Level 6 Vajrayana, I can summon the ultimate Dragunity monster. Arise with your comrades to crush the tyrant before us; Dragunity Knight Ascalon!”

The two dragons flew up towards the vortex, merging together and becoming one as an absolutely majestic dragon descended onto the field. It was long and serpentine, with a gold and white color scheme that shone brightly in the light. It glared at Maitreya and let out an intimidating roar at its foe.

Now this is a boss monster; one of my favorites to be precise. It has it all; grand appearance, great stats and a powerful effect.

“It may be stronger than my monster, but I have a Crane and a Crow in my hand to easily finish off your lifepoints!” The deity boasted, showing off the two cards in his hand.

“It’s a shame that you won’t get to use them; Ascalon’s effect activates, by banishing a Dragunity from my grave, I get to banish a monster on your side of the field.” The young rogue smirked.

“Hah, I got you! By banishing the spare Bujingi Turtle I had in my grave, I get to negate your targeting this one time. What a waste of a powerful effect…” The deity retorted, banishing his monster.

“Indeed, it would be a waste, if it was once per turn. However, in Ascalon’s case, it’s not a once per turn effect.” Sothe dropped a bombshell, banishing a second Dragunity as Maitreya let out a shocked gasp.

The Divine Powers really needs a new Maitreya; this one gasps all the time and acts like a buffoon.

“I-IMPOSSIBLE!!” He cried out, watching helplessly as his ace monster disappeared from the field.

“Maitreya, you and those assholes you call friends have been terrorising the fangame community for far too long. Between the assaults you conducted on innocent players, the disgusting lies you spread about us, and the sheer contempt you have for my beloved, it’s clear that your due for a long punishment. And my Ascalon will be your judge, jury, and executioner!” Sothe boldly declared, his ace monster lunging at the deity and struck him, with Maitreya letting out a loud gasp of pain as his lifepoints were reduced to zero.

And Sothe had to make a sanctimonious speech of his own because “OH GOD MICAIAH, PLEASE GIVE ME A MORSEL OF COOCHIE!!”

“I-I can’t lose here!” He began, making his way to the shrine before the red cracks appeared all over his body. “So…this is where I fall; at the hands of the loathsome fangame zealots and their precious Mary Sues. Krishna, Odin, I offer my apologies for failing you two; you’re our only hope in bringing salvation to the old gods…” Maitreya continued, his body glowing red a few times before exploding into thousands of pieces, the deity having been defeated once and for all.

(End track here)
Maitreya: 0
Winner: Sothe


Well that’s another card game done with. I would say that it’s the last one, but the author’s notes threw a wrench in my hopes and dreams.

“I…I did it…” Sothe commented weakly, falling to his knees in exhaustion as Micaiah hugged him from behind.

“You did do it my beloved; you were so brave out there.” She smiled at him, the duo giving each other a most passionate kiss.

“With Maitreya defeated, we can get back to the task at hand.” Isabeau reminded the group, as she and Flynn made their way to the shrine, quickly performing a counter ritual to disable the Tokugawa Mandela, the air around the area becoming a little easier to breath in.

“Well that was a wide ride. We didn’t get to do much, but it was a nice break after working our asses off in Verosia.” Crescent chimed in, a satisfied smile on her face as a pair of hunters stormed into the shrine.

Yeah, those idiot soldiers you killed were such a challenge that it warranted a break.

“We did it! The Tokugawa Mandela’s down for the count; our savior defeated that loathsome Maitreya and saved the day!” The first one cheered, the hunters applauding the heroes like crazy.

“It wasn’t just me who defeated our foes; we all worked together to save the day. Special mention to Sothe for stepping up to challenge Maitreya to a duel and outplayed him with power and grace.” Flynn called out to the hunters, who all gave Sothe a special cheer and a holler.

“Score one for Starlight Studios!” The hunters cried out, raising their weapons in the air as a gesture of their gratitude.

“On behalf of the Hunter Association, we thank you for your assistance in this most important battle.” Isabeau said to Astolfo and Melia, bowing respectfully towards them.

But they did absolutely nothing, with the exception of Sothe. Why are they getting all the praise instead of him?

“No problem. It was an absolute joy to expose Maitreya and his skeletons alongside Micaiah. Perhaps we should do the same when the time comes to confront Krishna.” Melia giggled in response.

Sure, give me more fuel for my comedic wisecracks. I’d greatly appreciate that.

“Oh yeah, now that will be an amazing show. However, we have to report our success to Ame now; I’m sure she’ll be pleased over our great victory.” Astolfo replied, bowing back at Isabeau in respect before the two sides went their separate ways.

Starlight Studios: Later that night

Roland had spent the last half hour in the meeting room, following a celebration over their victory in Ōta. From there, there was talk over what to do next with Melia proposing a bold idea; sending two small assault groups to defeat the remaining members of the Divine Vanguard and reclaim the two Relics of Reborn. From what he recalled, the groups were to be delegated as such, based on the results of Anna and her pendant. The group going after Seth and the Ruby Ring would consist of Micaiah, Heather, Shelly, Anna, Noel and Corey. The group going after Baal and the Emerald Brooch would consist of Roland, Serra, Radomus, Adrienn, Bennett and Luna.

What’s this; defeating a head honcho and reclaiming the rest of the relics? It’s like Junpei’s desperate to speed this story up as quickly as possible. That or give Roland some more time with Serra because “muh waifu!”

As the blonde man was going over what deck to bring with him, he was snatched into the VR room by a familiar figure, the peppy cheerleader giggling softly at him.

“Got you again, Roly!” Julia smirked playfully at him.

“Well had I not been deep in thought, then I would’ve have fell for it.” He bluffed, attempting to look strong but failed miserably.

“Nice try, but I’m not that gullible. Anyway, I had my late-night coffees and was bursting at the seams with explosive ideas. So after letting off a few boomies, I was struck with a wonderful idea for your next simulation!” She smiled at the blonde man, who undressed himself and got onto the chair.

Fuck, I forgot about the upcoming lemon. Since the duel and the combat were disappointing, I don’t have high hopes for the lemon to make up for it.

“Alright, so who will it be this time?” Roland inquired, inserting his now erect member into the Joydick.

“Valarie, the team mom for the Angels of Aevium. I would’ve made it an orgy alongside them, but I didn’t have the time.

“That and your name isn’t Julius.”

Besides, I made this one-on-one lemon extra special, to reward you for all your hard work in defeating that meanie Maitreya.” Julia cheered, placing the goggles over Roland’s eyes as she hopped onto the computer and began clicking away at the keys. “Have fun, Roly!”

“I will Julia; my grades for this session will be out of this world!” He declared, the blonde man soon succumbing to sleep as his mind entered the simulation

Since this is a Virtual Reality Simulation, this next scene will be read from Roland’s perspective. I hope you enjoy what’s coming up; remember if you don’t like it, you’re free to skip it.

Having worked up a sweat today, I decided to take a shower in order to wash myself and collect my thoughts at the same time. However, the men’s shower room was in the midst of repairs, so I had to use the women’s shower room; luckily there was a few curtains in the room to give the occupants some privacy.

Not even the cheesiest of porn plots has plot points this stupid.

Upon entering the room, which was thankfully unoccupied, I made my way to the largest shower and turned it on, allowing the warm water to flow down my body. But around a few minutes later, I heard someone enter the room and step into the shower beside mine, the two of us separated by a curtain on a rack.

“W-Who’s there?” I called out from my cubicle, the figure on the other side turning to face me from behind the curtain.

“Relax hun, it’s me.” Valarie answered back, easing my nerves a bit. “I take it you’re having a wash as well?”

“Yeah, today was quite a wild ride. There we were, surrounded by MS Waifu soldiers in some carpark. They used their usual taunts about collecting women and throwing them into whorehouses, before charging at us aimlessly, because that’s the only method of attack they ever use.

Even in the fucking dream sequences, the enemy are incompetent as fuck! Holy hell, I know I shouldn’t keep going on about it, but what can I do when that’s the only thing I get served during the fight scenes?!

We killed them easily, but their blood got everywhere so we had to wash ourselves; I of course offered to go last. The solitude allows me to think to myself, not that I have any issues with you having a shower right now.” I recalled the day’s events to her, the two of us continuing to wash ourselves.

“I had a pretty hard day as well, Roland. Ame had just come back from a meeting that secured us the rights to create another fangame, titled Empyrean. The plans she had for that game were unlike anything we were used to, so we had to spend a couple hours learning and utilizing new programming methods in order to fully live out her ideas for the game.” The older woman replied, searching the shower for something before sighing to herself. “Rats. The conditioner I like using in in your cubicle; mind passing it to me, hun? It’s the one with the blue and green bottle.”

“The one that Astolfo uses as a substitute for lube? Sure, I’ll pass it over.”

“S-Sure!” I said, my eyes quickly scanning the area and found the bottle she was looking for. Picking it up, I made my way to the curtain that divided us and put my arm over it, with Valarie making her way to grab it. However, my arm must’ve been pressing down on the bar a little too hard, because it suddenly fell to the ground, the crashing noise startling us as we were given a good look at each-others body. I was amazed by how deliciously curvaceous Valarie was, with her nice supple breasts, her amazing legs, and her very plump backside, her skin being soft and silky to the touch. And from the way she was eyeing me up, she was clearly interested in my toned, slender frame.

Subtle, I bet the author was stroking himself raw while typing up that description.

“Well now, looks like someone’s getting a little excited…” She chuckled, her eyes glancing to my rapidly growing erection, as it throbbed carelessly in the air.

“S-Sorry about that…” I stammered, a fierce blush forming on my face as I moved my hands to cover the firm organ. In a rather swift movement, Valarie’s hand reached under my hands and began stroking my large cock slowly, a low moan escaping my lips as I slowly slid down the shower wall and sat on the floor.

“Don’t be shy hun, this is the perfect opportunity for us to have a little…fun, shall we say.” Valarie purred into my ear, licking my neck slowly as she ceases her stroking. “But you have to earn it first.” She continued, a small smirk on her lovely face.

Don’t tell me it’s an Algebra test, I flunked the last one I took!

Making my way over to her, I leant on top of her and began kissing her passionately, the water flowing onto us as our tongues danced in each other’s mouths. My hands made their way down to her chest where they began to gently squeeze her big breasts, my fingers tweaking her firm nipples as she moaned into my mouth.

“Oh my, sounds like someone’s eager for some fun!” Valarie commented, letting out a low moan when I began to kiss and suck on her left breast, my tender tongue stimulating her perky nipple.

Well why wouldn’t he be; you’re offering him a good time if he puts in enough effort, of course he’s gonna suck your tits dry!

My right hand soon went down from her breast and began probing and poking her soft pussy, which was wet from both the water and her love juices, enabling my digits to slid in easily. The older woman let out a moan, clutching my head tightly as I picked up the pace with my licking, my fingers exploring her warm snatch.

“What can I say? It’s been ages since I’ve had some fun…” I purred into her ear, licking it once before lowering my head to her right breast and began suckling it harder, my tongue teasing her soft nipple. Valarie moaned cutely in response, my free hand running through her silky blue hair as my erect member was pressed up onto her smooth belly, the cool sensation sending shivers down my spine. I then began fingering her quicker, my digits exploring her pussy in order to find her elusive G-spot in an effort to make her cum; although I wasn’t able to find it, my fingers did the job as Valarie let out a quick yelp of bliss, her cream coating my wet fingers.

“Mmmm…how delectable. I’m reminded of my favorite brand of soy sauce.” I smiled, licking her juices off my fingers as I moved to stare at her sweet pussy.

Ugh! It was only a matter of time before the damned food references made a comeback. Still, I guess those Metal Slug women and their constant soy jokes had some merit to them.

“However, I feel like an extra serving, if you don’t mind…”

“What are you tal—A-Ahhh!” Valarie began, crying out in bliss as I began to lick her soft pussy, my tongue teasing the wet folds of skin before me. My fingers soon resumed their divine duty by teasing her now aroused clitoris, which was moist and soft to the touch as I expected. My lover tightened her grip on my head as my tongue burrowed deeper into her wet snatch, the wiggling muscle exploring her most sensitive area. Soon enough, I shifted my head slightly so that I can finger her as well, adding a second layer of pleasure to my oral gratification. Her juices soon began flowing onto my tongue, the aroma gracing my nostrils as I took in the sweet cream my lover chose to bless me with. A sense of greed corrupted my body, my tongue wiggling around a lot quicker as I soon found her G-spot and began licking it slowly in an act of teasing. Valarie gritted her teeth in response, barely holding back the urge to cum so that she can enjoy the wonderous sensation for as long as she can; however, my skilful tongue persevered. The lovely woman before me let out a content moan, her legs quivering slightly as she showered my face in her scented shampoo, my tongue licking the cream off my face.

Look, if you’re gonna add stupid euphemisms to your lemons, then at the very least make them consistent. Otherwise I’m gonna assume that you eat shampoo for breakfast…which may explain this entire fic truth be told.

“Now that, was amazing.” I sighed in content, savouring her juices on my tongue as Valarie pushed me gently so that my back was resting on the shower wall.

“If anything, I should be the only complimenting you; that tongue of yours is phenomenal!” She commented, her hand snaking its way back to my throbbing cock and began stroking it once more. “Now allow me to return the favour…”

Lowering her head down to my member, she began licking the firm organ with her tender tongue, teasing my exposed head as I let out a guttural moan of bliss. Giggling to herself over my helpless state, Valarie intensified her licking before opting to suck on my popsicle, my cock heating up nicely in her mouth. Bobbing her head up and down as she sucked on my member, she glided her tongue up and down my shaft, slowly glossing over the veins pressing up to the surface of the skin, my body quivering in pleasure. However, just as I was about to cum, Valarie ceased her sucking, removing my member from her mouth as it shook violently in the air.

“Not yet hun, there’s still something I wanna try out.” Valarie smirked, lowering her body a bit as she soon wrapped her big breasts around my member, a wince of pleasure escaping from my lips as she began rubbing them up and down my cock.

Look, I’m not asking for hardcore BDSM of shit of that calibre, but would it hurt you to try something different other than the same five or so acts all the damn time?!

The water and pre-cum that my member oozed earlier proved to be an effective lubricant, as the soft breasts easily slid up and down my firm meat, my mind becoming cloudy from the intense pleasure. She soon gestured at me to grab her breasts, something which I was more than happy to as I began thrusting between them at my own pace, the blue-haired woman before me licking the tip whenever it poked out from between her breasts. This had freed her hands for a moment, allowing her to cup and tickle my testicles with one hand, using her other to gently poke and prod at my asshole before fingering it slowly, causing me to let out a quick yelp. The triple threat of pleasure proved too much for my mind to handle, a weak moan escaping my lips as a boatload of cum shot out from my dick, spraying the both of us with my goo.

“Damn…that was intense.” I muttered weakly, with Valarie inspecting the substance before flicking it away.

“Glad you enjoyed it. However, since you made me cum twice, I figured I should make you cum twice before we finish things off with a bang.” The older woman commented, musing on what to do next until she remembered what Rosetta told her about the night I spent with her. “I think I have an idea.”

It’s funny that you bring Rosetta up, as this lemon feels a whole lot like the one featuring her in it. Which again, goes back to what I said about making your lemons a little more original.

“H-Huh?” I inquired, as Valarie opted to sit on my lap and began grinding her plump backside against my rock-hard member. “G-Good lord!” I cried out, my mind becoming foggy from the amazing sense of pleasure I was just given.

“Hahahaha, she was right; this does drive you wild!” Valarie chuckled to herself, continuing her grinding as my member was nice and snug in its new home. My hands soon crept up to her soft ass and squeezed it gently, further imprisoning my cock in her sensual trap, its warmth sending shivers up the older woman’s back. “Oh my, sounds like someone’s loving this a lot.”

No kidding, it’s the author’s private fantasy.

“C-Can y-you blame me? I-It feels amazing!” I called out, my hips pumping in unison with her grinding, pre-cum oozing from my cockhead once more. A couple minutes later, Valarie opted to speed up her grinding, my member quivering up against her large ass as I was on the verge of blowing my load. “I-I’m about to…” I weakly began.

“Are you? In that case, cum for me, hun.” She requested, a soft smile on her face as I soon let out a hearty moan, a large blast of milk shooting out of my dick and coated her back and ass, the two of us separating to catch our breath. “Phew…that was quite intense. Luckily for us, I still have some energy left for the main event.”

“Same here. I’ll make sure that tonight will be a night you won’t forget so soon.” I panted, making my way to Valarie who was on her hands and knees, my member rubbing up against her wet pussy before sliding in easily. I then started things off with a series of slow thrusts, the sound of flesh smacking against each other echoing throughout the room as we bot let out low moans.

Going through various sex acts as if they were pre-programmed robots. At this point I expect them to fall asleep once they’re done fucking each other’s brains out.

“Hah…hah…” Valarie panted, my hands resting on her juicy ass. “This is nice, but surely you can go a bit faster.”

“I can, but I want to draw it out for as long as possible; making sure we both get a more fulfilling experience.” I rebutted, my hands squeezing her ass before giving it a few gentle smacks, the older woman chuckling over my playfulness as I continued my thrusting. Pre-cum from both my sausage and her pussy dripped down onto our legs and stained the shower floor, leaving a permanent reminder of our cheeky fun. I then gave in to Valarie’s desires and began thrusting into her quicker than before, my cock pumping in and out of her love cave as we both moaned a little louder than before, the pre-cum oozing a little more than before. Valarie clenched her fists on the floor, hoping to steel her nerves so that she can last a little longer, but it was to no avail. Within a minute, we both moaned loudly, cumming at the same time as our Waters of Life flowed onto each other’s legs. We split off from each other and began panting for breath, the both of us sexually satisfied at this point.

Ok, either that last reference is a cheeky nod to Valarie’s status as a Water-type gym leader…or it’s a nod to the Fallout 3 quest of the same name. Regardless, it’s still a stupid game reference on par with the fucking BioShock shit from Chapter 35.

“Now that was amazing. Hopefully we can get the shower to ourselves more often so that we can do this again…” Valarie panted, slowly getting up off the floor.

“Indeed; next time I’ll make sure to bring a couple more tricks with me, tricks that I’m sure we’ll both enjoy.” I replied, a goofy smile on my face.

“Hahahaha! Now that sounds like something I’ll be looking forward to.” The older woman commented, the two of us getting back to washing ourselves as if nothing had happened.

The Virtual Reality Simulation/lemon is over

Talk about a disappointment on all fronts; my expectations were low but holy fuck, was it even worse than I expected. I do apologise if the commentary felt a little lacking at times, but I’m fed up with just how repetitive and nonsensical this whole mess is. As the author’s notes states, the next three chapters all have duels in them, so that’ll be fun…

What a way to end off the spectacular Chapter 50. But the fun doesn’t end there; the next three chapters will have some intense duels for you all to enjoy, including a long-awaited showdown between a beloved hero, and an especially nasty tosser. Who would those combatants be? Read on to find out the thrilling answer!

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah/Jonathan
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer/Walter

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth
Baal
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
Hallelujah
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick
Triple 6
Pretty Boy
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Mon Jan 06, 2020 12:58 am

Well if you wanted more card games, then look no further because this chapter has more card games for your entertainment. Hopefully it won’t be as much of a drag as the last chapter was.

I welcome you all to the chapter that answers the burning question; who would win in a game of Duel Monsters: Order, Chaos, or a pair of agents from the Divine Conspiracy? It’s gonna be buckets of fun, so make sure you read the chapter to learn the thrilling answer.

Spoiler: It’s whoever the author wants to win in his rigged card games.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 50: A fated showdown…with card games!

Starlight Studios: The next morning

Roland sighed blissfully to himself after a good night’s sleep, his batteries recharged from the most wonderful VR session he had last night. Of course, what had boosted his morale was that Julia informed him that he scored very well in the simulation while the duo cleaned up the mess.

Because fucking in a video game makes you a sex-pert in real life.

Opting to watch some television to catch up on the news, the young man made his way to the living room and hopped onto the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on, as a pair of familiar arms wrapped themselves around the young man.

“Is that you, Serra?” The blonde man inquired, a confirmary chuckle coming from behind as the graceful ex-model sat down beside the young man.

Ah yes, your waifu has finally arrived on scene. And here I thought the author was done with his jerkoff session.

“Well who else could it be?” Serra smiled at her lover, her gaze quickly shifting to the morning news being shown on the television. “Catching up on the news I see.”

“Yeah, I figured that I might be able to pick up something that could help us out on our mission.” Roland admitted, wrapping his right arm around her, bringing the two closer to each other. “Since we’re going up against a skilled deity, it’ll be wise to gather as much information as possible.”

Well when news broadcasts in this universe are essentially exposition dumps, I can’t say I blame you for relying on them.

“True, but I don’t think we’ll get a story about what deck our foe brings with him. I mean it’ll be nice if there was, but I’d much rather it be a surprise, if you catch my drift.” She replied.

“Huh, didn’t think you were into surprises all that much. I mean I know Radomus loves his surprises, and I know that Adrienn likes them, but I wasn’t sure on whether or not you liked them.” The blonde man admitted, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

“Well I’m glad I taught you your new fact of the day.” Serra chuckled politely, a memory suddenly popping back into her mind. “I must say, the groups we were sorted into reminds me of back then.”

It was very clever of Junpei to mirror the group allocations from the base game, solely to cater to whatever fan had the misfortune to stumble onto this mess.

“Back then?” Roland inquired, genuinely interested by what he was just hearing.

“It was a long time ago, before the war against Team Meteor had ended. I had learnt from a source that Bennett was holed up in the abandoned glass factory in the mountains alongside his Team Meteor allies, much like the events of the game. It was there that I reunited with Luna and met Radomus for the first time. as you’d expect, he was quite charming, promising the three of us an adventure that’ll be ‘messy, yet exciting.’” The former model recalled the tale to the blonde man, who mulled it over in his mind.

Translation: He wanted to score but wasn’t able to.

“I see…so did you take him up on his offer?” He asked.

“Well I replied by requesting that he’d better take me out to dinner first, if he wants his messy adventure that badly!” Serra chuckled, with Roland joining in as well before the former sighed in content. “Of course, I could never forget the look of joy on his face when he reunited with Anna and Noel after so long…”

He better be happy after all the time I spent on that damn gauntlet of battles beforehand!

“Yeah, that truly was an amazing moment in the game.” Roland agreed, the duo’s attention soon turning to the television as the broadcast started going haywire. “H-Hey, what’s going on?!” He inquired, the static intensifying until it began broadcasting a familiar sight.

“Looks like Tressa’s hosting another one of her special duels to generate interest in her group. Since we’ve got nothing better to do right now, we may as well watch it.” The Beauty Queen of Reborn shrugged her shoulders, the pair opting to watch the surprise duel.

0000

“Welcome one and all, to another screening of Divine Dueling and boy do we have a surprise for you today!” Pegasus spoke into his microphone, the crowd applauding wildly as he stood dead center in the arena. “As always, I’m your benevolent host, Maximillion Pegasus! Now in today’s duel, it’ll be a tag team where two of our own go up against two archenemies who would have to put their grudge aside if they want to emerge victorious. Fighting for the Divine Conspiracy is our mighty leader of the Octoguard and his righthand man; give it up for Big Smoke and Ryder!”

Under the assumption that these televised duels are incredibly successful, it makes me wonder why Tressa doesn’t settle for these instead of some harebrained scheme to conquer the world.

The crowd applauded the two men fanatically, with Ryder waving proudly at the crowd while Big Smoke had a calm, calculated look in his eyes. As the duo stepped up to their side of the field, the heavyset man shot a quick glance at Tressa’s VIP box, where she was conversing with some notable executives from KaibaCorp in the hopes of having them join the Divine Conspiracy.

“And fighting our dynamic duo is the representatives for the angels and demons, both of which having been possessed by their masters. Let’s give it up for Jonathan, and Walter!” Pegasus continued, the aforementioned duo walking up to the arena, bickering among themselves during the walk.

“I can’t believe I have to team up with Toiletbowl…” Walter sighed in annoyance, with Jonathan glaring at him.

Wonderful; more nonsensical arguments for the sake of “comedy”. Because I most definitely missed the arguments from Chapter 23…

“Likewise, Faphand! This is our best opportunity for the angels to strike at their foe, and I will not have you interfering with me!” Jonathan snapped back.

“Bullshit! You’ll make me do all the heavy lifting, while you get all the praise. It’s what they teach all the Luxurors back at—” Walter hissed in contempt.

“For the last time, none of that is relevant anymore! Your obsession with petty grudges is what allowed Lilith to poison your mind!” Jonathan retorted.

These are literally strawman arguments that both Order/Chaos stands use to shit on the opposing sides. I didn’t think the author could stoop any lower, but he somehow surprised me.

“Well why don’t you go do what you do best, and lick Tayama’s boots? He’s right over there if you’re wondering…” Walter smirked, pointing over at the bespectacled man as Jonathan began seething. Meanwhile, Tressa was eyeing up the arena with a hint of unease, worried that the angels and demons would launch a surprise attack.

Why the fuck is she scared of them? We’ve been told that she can effortlessly destroy them with a sneeze, yet she’s acting all concerned about an invasion that’ll never happen!

“I hope the rest of the Octoguard is in place, in the event of a surprise attack?” She asked Roboppi, the young boy saluting boldly at her.

“Yep! Me and Big Bro stationed them in strategic positions, with that Shesha acting as a secondary defence. We both know how important this duel is to win over the Big 5!” Roboppi cheered, easing Tressa’s worries a bit as she chuckled lightly to herself.

Oh boy, the Big 5. Often branded as the worst villains in the entire Yugioh franchise; guess she really was interested in that one guy’s penguin-themed park.

“Well I’m glad that I can count on you to cheer me up.” She smiled back at him.

“Indeed, there’s no need to worry over an invasion; the Divine Powers are recovering from the loss of Maitreya, and Starlight Studios isn’t strong enough to take us on.” Sartorius added, quickly taking a seat and began reading out the fortune for today. “Hehehe, I predict that all of us will benefit greatly from this truce.”

“And if we don’t benefit from this truce…fuck it, I’m sure destiny will pull something from her ass.”

“I should hope so; Seto fired us over a previous arrangement with Maximillion Pegasus. This truce between us could save our hides.” Gansley, the leader of the Big 5 chimed in, with Tressa leaning towards the group to reassure them.

“Fret not, for Sartorius’ predictions always come true; he was blessed with a most divine gift.” The mighty merchant queen stated, the older men murmuring amongst themselves as everyone turned their attention back to the arena.

“Now then, a quick rundown of the rules. Both sides start off with 8000 lifepoints combined, as well as a total of six monster zones, six spell and trap zones, and two extra monster zones each. Every player gets to draw a card on their first turn, however neither player can declare an attack on their first turn. As for the order, it will go Jonathan, then Big Smoke, then Walter, and finally Ryder. Are we all clear now?” Pegasus announced the rules, much to Walter’s distaste.

Well…it could be worse. At the very least it prevents anyone from landing a cheap shot on the opposing side.

“Hey, why does he get to go first?!” He protested angrily.

“Oh quit your bellyaching! I’ll teach you two on why the angels and demons are no match for the black Blackadder!” Ryder bragged, bringing out his duel disk.

You’re still on that shtick? The last time you LARPed as Blackadder, it resulted in one of the unfunniest, most self-gratifying chapters of all time.

“How cute, but it is I who shall emerge victorious!” Jonathan retorted, bringing out his own disk with the other combatants following suit.

“Now this is what I’ve been waiting for, an opportunity to show off my brand-new deck!” Big Smoke cheered, with all four players shuffling their decks.

“Duel!” The all declared, drawing their opening hands.

(Insert track here: SMT IV: Boss Battle theme)

Big Smoke/Ryder: 8000
Jonathan/Walter: 8000


“I shall dispose of Lord Merkabah’s enemies with haste; draw!” Jonathan declared, analysing his opening hand. “Hmmm…I’ll end my turn with two cards facedown.”

“Wow, how threatening…no way will our opponents ever defeat us…” Walter retorted, smirking at his partner.

You joke around, but what those facedown cards be Fiendish Chain or some other powerful shit.

“Shut up Walter! I’d like to see you do better!” Jonathan hissed in response.

“Now, now. You can argue with each other once I’m done wiping the floor with your sorry asses, I draw!” Big Smoke called out, drawing his card and grinned over his cards. “Awwwww yeah, this is what I’m talking about. I play Reinforcement of the Army to add a warrior to my hand, before playing the Field Spell, Saber Vault. Next I’ll summon XX-Saber Boggart Knight and use his effect to Special Summon X-Saber Palomuro, tuning the two together to Synchro Summon X-Saber Wayne, before using his effect to Special Summon XX-Saber Fulhelmknight from my deck. Then I’ll end my turn with a card facedown.” He concluded, the power from the vault revitalising Big Smoke’s monsters.

Funnily enough, X-Sabers were one of the very first decks I played, and I was blown away by just how potent the XX-Sabers are in swarming the field. And with that little drop of nostalgia out the way, let’s continue.

ATK (2100-2600) DEF (400-0)
ATK (1300-1600) DEF (1000-700)


“Well Walter, let’s see you take him on!” Jonathan sniped at his adversary.

“Alright then, I’ll do a better job of it than you ever could, I draw.” Walter retorted, whistling in awe at what he has. “Now then, I’ll summon Beat, Bladesman Fur Hire and use his effect to add a Fur Hire card from my deck to his hand, before using his effect to special summon Dyna, Hero Fur Hire from my hand, and use his effect to banish cards from Big Smoke’s graveyard. I then end my turn with two cards facedown.”

“Lord Merkabah was right, furries really are the devil’s agents…” Jonathan muttered to himself.

A sentiment shared by over 50% of the internet.

“Oh, what was that you said? ‘What a most impressive turn!’ Why thank you very much!” Walter smirked back, causing Jonathan to growl at him.

“Your woodland critters are no match for my monsters, I draw!” Ryder boasted, gazing at his hand and smirked in response. “I play Reinforcement of the Army to add a warrior from my deck to my hand, before following up with two Continuous Spells; Six Samurai United and Gateway of the Six. Then I’ll summon Legendary Six Samurai – Kageki and use his effect to special summon Kagemusha of the Six Samurai. And since I control a Six Samurai Monster with a different name, I can special summon Legendary Six Samurai – Kizan from my hand, before tuning him and Kagemusha to Synchro Summon Naturia Barkion. Now for my spells; by sending my Six Samurai United with two Bushido Counters on it, I get to draw two cards. Additionally, I can remove four counters from my Gateway to add a Six Samurai monster from my deck or graveyard to my hand. Finally, I can special summon Grandmaster of the Six Samurai from my hand since I control Kageki, granting the latter a 1500ATK boost, enabling me to end my turn with a card facedown.”

Yeah, Six Samurai were one of the very first “vomit your entire hand onto the field” decks in the franchise, at a time way before that was the norm. And given how powerful their new Link monster is, I can see them making a comeback very soon.

ATK (200-1700)

“What a fantabulous first turn from all our opponents, especially Ryder with how easily he managed to set up his board. How will Jonathan react to this?” Pegasus called out into the microphone, the crowd watching with bated breath as the Blessed Samurai drew his next card.

“Heheheh, now it’s time for the decisive blow. Since my opponent controls a monster, I can special summon Cyber Dragon from my hand, during which I can special summon Cyber Dragon Vier! Then I’ll play Power Bond to fuse my monsters together to form Cyber Twin Dragon, doubling its already high attack!” Jonathan declared, his two dragons fusing together to create an even larger dragon.

It’s a relief to see that with the exception of Walter, Dumbass Fur Hire, everyone else is using good cards.

ATK (2800-5600)

“Battle, I’ll start off by having Cyber Twin Dragon attack Naturia Barkion!” Jonathan declared, the twin-headed dragon charging up balls of electricity in its mouth before firing them at the serpentine dragon.

“Caught you, busta! I play my Magic Cylinder! Not only is your attack negated, but all that damage is bounced back at you.” Ryder smirked, the cylinder sucking up the attack before firing it back at its owner.

“In that case, I’ll retaliate with my Damage Polarizer. My attack may be negated, but I’m safe from any harm, and we all get to draw a card as well.” Jonathan retaliated, a little displeased over having to play his trap so early. “Anyway, Cyber Twin Dragon still has a second attack, so I’ll target X-Saber Wayne this time.”

Like before, the large dragon fired up an attack and launched it, only this time the attack collided, vaporizing the powerful warrior as Big Smoke howled in pain from the blast.

And the winner of who dealt the first blow was Jonathan, with his Cyber Twin Dragon play that he totally didn’t steal from Zane, older brother of the legendary Pussy Destroyer.

Big Smoke/Ryder: 5000

“Ack…since a Saber monster was destroyed, I can pay 500 lifepoints to special summon Palomuro from my graveyard…” The heavyset man grunted, his lifepoints decreasing once more as the familiar lizard re-emerged onto the arena.

Big Smoke/Ryder: 4500

ATK (200-300) DEF (300-200)


“I end my turn with a card facedown, during which I take damage equal to the attack gained by the monster summoned with Power Bond.” Jonathan concluded, the young man grunting in pain as his lifepoints took a severe beating.

Jonathan/Walter: 5200

“Hey, what’s the deal?! We’re sharing those lifepoints you know!” Walter hissed at his rival.

“Don’t give me that shit, I was forced to use up my Damage Polarizer, lest we take an even bigger hit! Besides, we’ve got the advantage right now.” Jonathan retorted.

At least he realizes that Lifepoints aren’t as important as the board state; which is what sets this author apart from the other Yugioh fanfic authors I mocked.

“True, but I’ll snatch it up from you, I draw!” Big Smoke retorted, grinning at his latest card. “Excellent, I play Saber Slash, enabling me to destroy a card for every X-Saber monster on my field; say goodbye to your Cyber Twin Dragon, and your Dyna.”

“No!” Jonathan growled in anger, with Walter chuckling to himself.

“Nice, but not good enough. I play my Mayhem Fur Hire, enabling me to special summon Dyna from my grave in Defense position.” He retorted, bringing back his powerful monster.

“Heh, it may be back, but it won’t be for long. Since I control two X-Saber monsters, I get to special summon XX-Saber Faultroll from my hand, then I’ll use his effect to bring back my Boggart Knight from my grave. Then I’ll tune my Palomuro and my Faultroll together, to Synchro Summon X-Saber Urbellum, before tuning my Fulhelmknight and my Boggart Knight to Synchro Summon another Urbellum. But they won’t be around for long, as I use Polymerisation, fusing them together to Fusion Summon Naturia Gaiastrio!” Big Smoke continued, his warriors leaping into the vortex as it started warping and glowing for a few seconds, before a colossal lion stepped onto the field and roared at its foe.

“Holy smokes! That’s one powerful monster!” Walter gasped in shock.

“Ohohohoho, it is a mighty beast indeed. But I’m not done yet; I summon X-Saber Pashuul and play Gottom’s Emergency Call, resurrecting my Faultroll and my Boggart Knight, before tuning my Pashuul with Boggart Knight to Synchro Summon Goyo Guardian! Then I’ll use Faultroll’s effect to special summon Fulhelmknight from my graveyard.” The heavyset man declared, outstretching his hand towards Walter. Faultroll, crush his puny Dyna with your might!”

Now this may look all nice and dandy for an X-Saber player, but there’s one tiny fault at play; Boggart Knight can only be used to Synchro Summon an ‘X-Saber’ monster, something which Goyo Guardian isn’t, despite how well it fits in an X-Saber deck.

The large warrior let out a battle-cry, lunging at the bulky manticore and slashed it in half, destroying the monster effortlessly, with Big Smoke gesturing at Goyo Guardian to attack Beat. Letting out a sinister chuckle, the cunning warrior ensnared the helpless porcupine with its rope and crushed it, before dragging it over to Big Smoke’s side of the field, the monster now under his control.

Jonathan/Walter: 3600

“And now it’s time to end this! Gaiastrio, Fulhelmknight, eliminate this pathetic duelist with your power!” Big Smoke declared, the two monsters lunging at Walter, who screamed in pain as he collapsed to the floor, the rest of his lifepoints being drained from his body.
It’s what you get for playing with furries, Walter. Jokes aside, I’m glad this duel wasn’t as drawn out as the last duel.

(Insert track here: SMT IV: Boss Battle theme)

Jonathan/Walter: 0
Winner: Big Smoke/Ryder


The once ecstatic crowd had become deathly silent, gobsmacked over Big Smoke’s masterful turn back there. Walter had a horrified expression on his face as Jonathan soon glared at him. “What the fuck was that Walter?! You cost us the duel!”

“Hey, hey, HEY! Don’t give me that bullshit! If I can’t counter his damn play, I can’t counter his damn play. Besides, it’s not like you did anything worthwhile…” Walter hissed angrily at his teammate.

“I did nothing?! At the very least I got a damn Fusion monster out; your pathetic furries were worthless, WORTHLESS!” Jonathan retorted viciously, with Walter chuckling back at him.

He’s not wrong about them being worthless. Then again, they were one of the most oppressive decks in Duel Links due to how cheap and powerful they were at the time of release.

“Well you got me there, it was foolish of me to expect some talking toiletbowl to know how to play card games.” He smirked, the crowd growing more and more amused with the pitiful fight before them.

“Toiletbowl?! I thought I told you to stop calling me that! At the very least, I didn’t spend this entire duel jerking off, Faphand!” Jonathan snarled at his adversary.

“Well at least I’m not some boot-licking Luxuror!” Walter snarled back the two young men quickly getting into a scrap as they assaulted one another with punches and kicks, the crowd cheering on the fight as if it were additional entertainment.

Well I’m glad someone’s entertained by this, because this is just pathetic.

But as they were fighting, the two men groaned in pain, falling to their knees as two ethereal spirits emerged from their bodies, hovering over them with a look of disappointment on their faces.

“To think that the blessed warrior whom I entrusted my power to has failed me; such a disgrace is unworthy of my presence.” Merkabah scoffed in disgust.

“Well that was quite a wild ride; at least I got a few quips from my vessel, Toiletbowl…” Lucifer smirked, scratching his chin idly. “Ah well, back to the drawing board I suppose. There’s always better decks to try out than that Furaffinity garbage.”

When even the powerful demons occupying your bodies are sick of this shit, then you know you done fucked up.

“Indeed, I was disappointed that such a loathsome deck was utilised by your champion. For a moment I thought you had lost all your standards.” Merkabah replied, catching both Jonathan and Walter by surprise over how…cordial they were conversing. ”No matter, once I find a worthy champion with a better deck, then we’ll end things once and for all!”

“Hahahahaha! Now that’s what I’ve been waiting to hear; no more tomfoolery or cheap shenanigans. Soon, our final battle shall take place, and it’ll be I who emerges victorious!” Lucifer bragged, the two spectral deities dissipating from the area before a small group of Ashura-Kai soldiers walked up to the weakened men and arrested them.

“H-Hey! What’s going on?!” Jonathan demanded, as a familiar chuckle echoed throughout the arena.

“I’ve been waiting for this…” Tayama began, hopping off his chair and made his way to the duo. “I shall hold you two ransom so that the Hunter Association can send those samurai friends of yours. Then I can capture them an enact my revenge for what you lot did to me!”

Your “revenge” will consist of you ranting to Flynn about how Serra is your prize or some shit, even though he has no fucking interest in her.

“You were harvesting the brains of innocent civilians to feed the demons you enslaved; of course we’d step in to overthrow your dictatorship!” Walter retorted, the bespectacled man laughing dryly in response.

“How cute…too bad it won’t amount to anything in the long run; take them away. I’ll see to it that I give them a personal interrogation…” Tayama smirked, gesturing his men to drag their prisoners elsewhere.

“W-Well on that note, I’m proud to announce that the winners of today’s Divine Dueling is Big Smoke and Ryder!” Pegasus declared into his microphone, the crowd applauding the duo wildly as both men proudly waved to them, with Tressa and the rest watching them from within her box.

Ah yes, I forgot about Little Miss Paranoid over here. What nugget of wisdom will she impart on her loyal followers this time?

“A shame the duel ended so quickly; I’ve always loved those close victories that you see in TV all the time.” AI sighed in content, if a little disappointed. “But I guess it was to be expected; those two men had no synergy whatsoever.”

At least he’s self-aware on how close duels get all the time in the actual anime.

“I know that we can make the best tag team in the world, brother!” Roboppi cheered, jumping up for joy as Tressa gazed at him, a bemused smile on her face.

“I’m sure that you two will go very, very far in life. That said, I’m glad this duel ended in our favour; it was a most wise decision to give those two such powerful decks.” She commented.

Of course, it also helped that their decks worked well together and their opponents were too busy arguing with one another to help each other out.

“If anything, it proves that it was a most wise decision on our behalf to join the Divine Conspiracy; soon we shall take over KaibaCorp, enabling me to build the worlds largest penguin-themed amusement park.” Crump commented, a look of glee in his eyes.

“And should Seto dare try and sue us, I’ll uncover all the shady deals he instigated to gather his precious ‘Blue-Eyes’ cards, effectively ruining him for life.” Johnson chuckled calmly, his mind conjuring up twisted legal schemes.

“I’ll be more than happy to oversee your weapons development program; I even have some spare plans lying around that should benefit you greatly.” Nezbitt offered, opening his briefcase and reveal a set of highly valuable military blueprints.

“With the combination of my superior business skills and your superior everything, the world—no, the universe shall be our oyster!” Leicther grinned, his eyes brimming with greed.

“Exactly! With all the power and resources, I have at my beck and call, I shall create the ultimate Pokémon fangame, one that would outmatch anything and everything Starlight Studios has ever produced!” Tressa declared, the young girl and the businessmen laughing evilly over their plans for the future.

Yes, their evil plan is to create a Pokémon fangame. But it won’t be just another fangame; it’ll be the best one of them all. Such a plan would be too evil for even the most bloodthirsty dictator to consider.

0000

“Well…now I know why Big Smoke has such authority in the Divine Conspiracy.” Roland commented; the blonde man having turned off the Tv following his climactic turn.

“Tressa had an eye for spotting hidden talent; she delegated us all into teams that she felt maximised our potential, and in a way it worked.” Serra replied, the sound of footsteps echoing throughout the room as several of their colleagues walked down the stairs and into the lounge room as well. “Ah, good morning everyone.”

“Good morning Miss Serra! I can’t wait to help my friend get her ring back!” Anna chirped happily at her elder.

“Glad to see I’m not the only one who’s giddy over dealing a major blow to the Divine Powers. Which reminds me, how about we have a little…competition?” Micaiah proposed, a smirk growing on her face.

Hah, this’ll be rich.

“Oh, and what do you have in mind exactly?” Roland inquired, amused by the prospect.

“Simple; whoever can defeat their respective deity and come back here first, gets to have that chocolate cake Sothe bought for me. It’s a rare delicacy that gave my money pouch a beating, but it’ll be worth it.” The Maiden of Dawn explained the competition to her friend.

“I see…how interesting. If this cake is as good as you say it is, then I wouldn’t say no to a piece.” Serra stated, a determined look appearing on Roland’s face.

I’d use the most overdone Portal joke in recorded history, but I’m striving for originality here, so I’ll simply say that it better be a damn good cake with all the hype you’ve built up.

“Then it’s settled; we’ll take you on! Just don’t complain when we emerge victorious.” The blonde man declared.

“Oh come now, we must’ve lose focus of our main objective for the sake of some cake.” Corey rebutted, only for Heather to shoot a disapproving gaze at her father.

“Relax dad, it’s a harmless competition. Nothing wrong with adding a little bit of spice to your life, right Shelly?” Heather replied, shooting her friend a quick glance, with Shelly nodding in approval.

“Guess I can’t stop you when you’ve got your mind set on something…” Corey sighed, a small, amused smile on his face.

“Well I’d love to stay and keep chatting, but I’m in no mood to miss out on that cake. Come on gang, let’s head out already!” Micaiah declared, as she and her group quickly left the premises, leaving a bewildered Roland behind.

“Wh—Wh—What?! Did she just give herself a head start?!” The blonde man exclaimed, a soft hand resting on his shoulders.

Nah, she just wanted out of this chapter as soon as possible.

“Fret not, young man. For it is as the tortoise says, slow and steady wins the race.” Radomus reassured him.

“I guess so…ah well, it’s time for us to go on an exciting, yet messy adventure!” Roland declared boldly.

“Another one? Well I hope we get taken out to dinner afterwards.” Adrienn replied, the group chuckling shortly afterwards as they followed their rivals outside the building, with an amused smile on Serra’s flawless face.

“Ah…just like old times.” She mused to herself, closing the door behind her as both groups set off on a most amazing adventure.

Yes, it’s just like that time at the Glass Factory, only with card games and angry deities!

Well that wasn’t as painful as the last chapter. But considering how the next one has two duels in it, I doubt it’ll be as painless as this one.


So how was that everyone? A thrilling competition between two teams to see who can take out their respective deity first. It’ll be back to back card games, and it will be an amazing treat for the eyes. Catch you all in the next chapter.

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Jonathan (P.O.W)
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer
Walter (P.O.W)

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth
Baal
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
Hallelujah
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick
Triple 6
Pretty Boy
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Tue Jan 21, 2020 12:22 am

Ready for more poorly written card games tacked on the side of insipid commentary about whatever boogeyman the author’s gotten worked up over recently? Well boy do I have what you’re looking for.

We’re back in another exciting instalment of Divine Conspiracy, as I treat you all with back to back card games. What devious strategies will the Divine Vanguard use to challenge the heroes? Well read on to find out!

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 51: Double Elimination!

Kasai: Edogawa: With Micaiah’s group

“So let me get this straight; rather than use their innate power to defeat you in these one-on-one duels, they go for card games where you have the advantage. Am I on the right track?” Corey asked Micaiah, the silver-haired maiden nodding in response as the group were exploring the bustling city.

Yeah, it sounds stupid when you hear it, and it’s even stupider when you actually see it. Mind you, it was quite baffling that catastrophic events in the show were solved via card games, but given that it’s a glorified advertisement, I’m willing to cut it some slack.

“Correct. Initially, the purpose of the duels was to gather enough souls to sustain Shesha, but since it opted to join Tressa’s side, I see no reason for them to continue duelling.” She replied.

“Pffft, why complain? It makes things a whole lot easier for us.” Heather commented whimsically, a confident grin on her face.

“B-B-But aren’t these demons a cut above the r-rest?” Shelly inquired nervously, her hands clasping each other tightly.

Nah, not really. They’re just the same one-note strawman that the author inserts just to feel good about himself once they get beaten up for being wrongthinkers. Heck, I’m sure you could beat them if I gave you a deck of cards to play.

“Relax, Shelly. They’re no match for Miss Micaiah; she defeated that meanie who took my pendant from me!” Anna reassured her friend, gently petting her shoulder.

“I-If that’s the case, then we’ll win that cake in no time.” The lilac-haired girl replied; her confidence being boosted by Anna’s words.

“Glad you’ve got your eyes on the prize! Now let’s win that—” Heather began, before a portal soon appeared right in front of them, the mysterious hole glowing and contorting on the spot as a sinister creature emerged from it. The creature let out a hiss as the portal soon disappeared, with Micaiah glaring at the intruder.

“Seth! I should’ve known you’ll confront us eventually; you’re not like the cowards you serve.”

Ah yes, the conveniently appearing portal that just so happened to vomit up the exact deity that you were ordered to defeat.

“Hah! There is wisdom in your words. This war could’ve ended a lot sooner had Krishna and his lackeys made an attempt to invade your headquarters.” Seth retorted, the draconic foe flapping his wings calmly.

But his did stage an invasion; Chapter 6 to be precise. I know because it was when Serra was introduced to the story and became Roland’s waifu or some shit. Are you high or something, Seth?

“Hold on, your statement makes no sense. A while ago, your comrade Quetzalcoatl gathered an army of demons to invade our studio, only for Micaiah to repel them. Are you saying that Krishna didn’t order the assault at all?” Noel inquired, the Egyptian deity nodding in confirmation as the young boy grew even more confused. “That raises even more questions than answers; why would he go against his masters’ orders and stage an assault?”

“Because he grew weary of standing around and twiddling his thumbs! Your fangames oppose our goals, though not as you would expect!” Seth hissed, baring his sharp teeth as Shelly yelped quietly in surprise, yet opted to stand her ground instead of running away.

Well why didn’t you join him in his invasion if that was the case? You could’ve won this war ages ago had you abandoned that asinine “only one deity can attack at a time” rule.

“So our games oppose your goals, but not as we expect. Exactly what are you trying to say?” Corey pressed further, narrowing his eyes in suspicion as the Egyptian deity sighed to himself.

“Long before this whole war against you began, we were a humble group. Our main goal was to overthrow YHVH and his Monotheist dictatorship, enabling the old gods to be revered and respected like in the olden days. However, ever since Krishna stumbled onto your games, he changed drastically. Rather than focus on our true enemy, he opted to spend his efforts waging war against the fangames, be it by recruiting trolls to talk nonsense about the games, allying with Nintendo to get them Cease and Desisted, and whining about how they’re unsubtle propaganda.” He explained his side of the story.

You may as well have said “Krishna was redpilled into hating the fangames” and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Oh and did he find these fangames on the laptop that he used his credit card on? Because that’s the most important question I have.

“He managed to get Odin and Maitreya to follow his new cause, alongside most of the other deities in our group. Zhong Kui and I were the only ones who weren’t convinced that these games are a threat to our goals.”

“So you mean to tell me that this whole war was started over Krishna’s petty hatred of our games? Did he at least tell you why?” Micaiah inquired.

“That’s the thing, we still have no idea why he hates them. I mean we’re his elite agents, and he hasn’t told us yet; not even Odin or Maitreya know about his reasoning. I don’t know about you, but that’s a sign that he has no faith in us whatsoever.” Seth retorted, resting himself on the ground.

I can’t wait for the reveal on why he hates the fangames, because I know it’ll be stupid yet fucking hilarious at the same time.

“So does that mean you’ll hand me my ring back? It was my mother’s before she—” Heather began, only for Seth to begin chuckling.

“Sorry, but I’m not throwing in the towel just yet. I still think that the Divine Powers can be saved; all I need to do is to crush you and your studio. Then we can walk back on the path that we were destined to go down.” The deity knocked back her request, bringing out his duel disk. “Besides, I’ve got to pay you back for defeating Zhong Kui back at Tsukiji Kongangi.”

“It wasn’t me who defeated him, but if you’ve got a desire for revenge then I suppose it’s my job to quash your ambitions. Just be sure to give us back the Ruby Ring when you lose.” Micaiah replied, bringing out her own duel disk.

Well it’s not like he can’t keep it to himself, since all these demons explode after losing in a card game.

“Heehee, this is gonna be so much fun!” Anna chirped happily, the residents of Reborn taking a seat to the side so they can watch the exhilarating duel, unaware that they were being watched by shadowy figures hiding in the alleyways.

“Duel!” Both duelists declared, drawing their opening hands.

(Insert track here: SMT IV: Boss Battle theme)

Micaiah: 4000
Seth: 4000


“Allow me to bedazzle you with my new deck; I’ll start by using Trade In, discarding my Moulinglacia the Elemental Lord in order to draw two cards. Next I’ll summon Elementsaber Aina and use her effect to send Elementsaber Malo’o from my hand to the graveyard to special summon the discarded Moulinglacia, ignoring its summoning conditions. And since I special summoned Moulinglacia, I can discard two cards from your hand at random!” Micaiah stated confidently, selecting the leftmost cards in Seth’s hand as the deity opted to discard them.

No, no, this is not how it works at all. Elementsaber Aina can only summon an Elemental Lord monster from the Graveyard IF it’s proper summoning condition has been fulfilled, which in this case, it wasn’t. This is a blatantly illegal play she did, and sufficient proof that Junpei doesn’t give a shit about the writing in his duels.

“Wow! She already managed to summon a powerful monster in the first turn; we’ve got this race in the bag!” Heather chimed in.

“True, it takes an impressive duellist to properly wield the legendary Elemental Lords, but it’ll take more than that to defeat me. Since one of the cards that was sent to my graveyard was Gravekeeper’s Recruiter, I can add a Gravekeeper’s monster from my deck to my hand.” Seth countered, going through his deck before finding a suitable monster and added it to his hand. This had made Micaiah pause for a moment; she had recently learnt about them and knew that their field spell was notoriously dangerous since it slowed down the opponents plays to a crawl.

Gravekeepers, a deck that was powerful back in the old days but is only remembered today for a few cards, including its notoriously powerful Field Spell. Also, “properly wielding the Elemental Lords?” I didn’t realise that cheating warranted a dick-sucking from the villain.

“In that case, I’ll end my turn with two cards facedown.” She concluded her turn.

“Not bad, but you won’t stop me!” Seth sneered, drawing his next card and smirked at it. “Perfect…I activate the field spell, Necrovalley! Now neither of us can activate card effects that enable us to banish or move cards from the graveyard to a different place, nor can we activate effects that change the Attribute or Type of cards in the graveyard.”

The holographic technology built into the duel disks kicked into action, transforming the once bustling city into a desolate valley, the sun setting over the vast Egyptian desert as the shadows of the pyramids loomed over the audience.

“U-Um…d-did we teleport halfway across the world all of a sudden?” Shelly inquired, a look of confusion appearing on her face.

“No, we’re still in the city; this is just a holograph. Still, it’s remarkably realistic, almost as if we’re in the Valley of the Kings itself.” Noel answered, an intrigued look in his eyes.

Oh, so now there’s holographs and shit? Wake me up when the characters start riding on their respective dragons, okay?

“Yay, we also get a free trip to Egypt! Thanks Mr. Seth!” Anna smiled at the fearsome deity, who chuckled back at her.

“Ohohohohoho, don’t thank me yet, I’ve still to show you the horrors that walk these lonely sands. First I’ll use Gravekeeper’s Stele to recover the monsters that I discarded earlier.” The deity retorted.

“But you just said that Necrovalley prevents both players from—” Corey began, only for Seth to chuckle once again.

“I did. However, the spells and traps I have, including my Stele cannot be negated by the effect of Necrovalley.” He smirked back, reclaiming his discarded resources and formed a most daring plan. “I shall start by summoning Gravekeeper’s Spear Soldier in Attack Mode and have it attack your Aina, with Necrovalley giving all my Gravekeeper’s a 500-point boost to their attack and defense!”

“A-Ack!” Micaiah winced in pain as she watched her monster get slain by the aggressive warrior, whom twirled his now bloody spear in his hand before waltzing back to his side of the field.

ATK (1500-2000) DEF (1000-1500)

Micaiah: 2900


“Now then…I’ll end my turn with a card facedown.” Seth hissed, daring Micaiah to make her next move. “When I’m done with you, these sands shall become your tomb!”

Yes, this non-existent desert will be your eternal resting place. Give me a break…

“Like I’m going to yield so easily. I draw!” She retorted, drawing her next card and smirked at it. “Allow me to play a little game of chance; the trap card Sixth Sense! I declare two numbers and roll a die, then if any of the declared numbers show up, I draw that many cards. I think I’ll go for five and three.”

What the fuck is with this author and that damned card!? I’m sick of having this broken-ass card show up in every duel!

Taking a die out of her pocket, Micaiah shook it in her hand and rolled it, before throwing it onto the field, the audience watching with bated breath as it landed on a three. “Whew, talk about a lucky break.” Noel sighed to himself, thankful that his ally was able to draw some much-needed cards.

“Draw as many cards as you like; your Elemental Lords are no match for my Necrovalley!” The Egyptian deity retorted.

“Well with a little help from their allies, they can triumph over your Gravekeeper’s. I activate the spell card, Invocation. I fuse my Aleister the Invoker and my Elementsaber Lapa Ulia to fusion summon Invoked Mechaba! And since Invocation is in the Graveyard, I can activate it’s effect, shuffling it into the deck to add Aleister to my—” Micaiah began.

“You fool, I activate my Necrovalley to negate your—” Seth cut her off.

“Caught you! Now I can activate Mechaba’s effect; if my opponent were to activate a card effect, I can discard a card of the same type to negate and destroy your card.” The Maiden of Dawn smiled sweetly, a hint of smugness in her voice as Seth gasped, watching his precious spell get destroyed as the scenery returned to normal, with Micaiah adding her Aleister to her hand.

Necrovally’s effect is a continuous one, meaning that Seth can’t activate it, preventing Micaiah from destroying it with Mechaba’s effect. Impressive duelist my ass.

“I-Impossible!” The deity gasped.

“Not impossible but required some clever thinking. Now I’ll play The Warrior Returning Alive to bring back my Aina before proceeding to summon her onto my field. Then I’ll play my other facedown card Raigeki Break, discarding my Pyrorex the Elemental Lord to destroy your facedown card.” Micaiah continued, with Seth growling over the loss of his card. “Then I’ll activate Aina’s effect once more, discarding a Elementsaber monster to special summon Pyrorex from my graveyard, during which I can use his effect to destroy your Spear Soldier with both of us taking damage equal to its original attack.”

Again with the Elemental Lord dumping and summoning; have you even play-tested the damn deck, author?!

The large dinosaur let out an almighty roar, spewing a stream of fire at its foe with the warrior letting out a strangled gasp of pain before exploding, with both duelists getting caught in the blast.

Micaiah: 1400
Seth: 2500


“S-Such mastery and wit! Was this how you were able to defeat Quetzalcoatl?” Seth winced back, his right wing covering a wound on his body that was caused by the explosion from before.

“Indeed, and it shall be I who reunites you with him in the afterlife. Mechaba, Pyrorex, Moulinglacia, Aina, show Seth the power of unity that your alliance bestowed upon your tribes!” Micaiah declared boldly, her legion of monsters unleashing their powerful attacks and decimated Seth, the Egyptian deity roaring in pain as his lifepoints fell to zero.

As Seth wearily rose back to his feet, he soon felt a painful sensation coursing through him as red cracks appeared on his body. “Heh, guess I let you down Zhong Kui. Perhaps when the time comes, we’ll form our own Divine Powers and get the job down, without letting the fangames take our attention away from the goal at hand…” The deity muttered sadly to himself, his body soon exploding into millions of small pieces as his deck and a small velvet box were left behind, the victorious Micaiah retrieving her loot.

Hopefully you’ll have better luck with Gravekeepers than…whatever it was that you did with your deck. Fuck me, the cheating was almost as bad as the bullshit in Chapter 20. Almost.

(Track ends here)

Seth: 0
Winner: Micaiah


“Well that wraps it up.” She smiled, getting on her knee and handing the box to Heather. “Here, your ring back. Only one more relic to go.”

“Thanks for the ring, but I’m gonna knock back your marriage proposal; I’m not old enough for that sorta thing yet.” The pink-haired girl cracked a joke, her friends chuckling lightly as Micaiah shook her head, a bemused smile on her face. “Now that we’ve destroyed that chump, we can head back to base and go to town on the cake.”

“Y-Yeah, that’ll be nice to ha—W-What was that?!” Shelly cried out, the sound of rustling in the alleyways startling her. All of a sudden, a swarm of Ashura-Kai grunts emerged from the alleys and surrounded the heroes, with their lieutenant making his way to the front.

“Mr. Tayama sends you all a personal invitation, well except for the silver-haired bitch.” The lieutenant smirked, the gang suddenly lunging at the heroes upon his command.

Why? Weren’t you lot constantly getting angry at Sothe for taking her away from Tayama? You have a golden opportunity to snag her, and you morons pissed it away!

0000

“Hmmm…that’s odd. Micaiah isn’t picking up her PDA; she must be in the midst of her duel.” Roland mused to himself, putting it away as he started scanning the nearby area. “Meanwhile, we still haven’t found our deity to clobber. Guess we know who the cake’s going to…”

“Do not throw in the towel while your foe is still using theirs; if we can’t find the deity then perhaps, we can merely summon him to our position.” Radomus suggested in an attempt to perk the young man’s spirit.

“Summoning a demon has never turned out well; our current predicament is proof of that statement.” Bennett shot the idea down, his nose buried inside his favorite book.

The kid’s genre-savvy, I’ll give him that at least.

“True, but perhaps this time will be different. After all, we are challenging him to a one-on-one battle, albeit with card games.” Luna replied.

“Besides, I know the best way to summon a deity; destroying an icon bearing their image. They’ll be angry, but I’m sure it’s nothing Roland can handle.” Adrienn smirked casually, taking out a small statuette of the deity Baal from xyr bag and dropped it on the ground before stomping on it a few times.

How nice of that non-existent stall they just passed to be selling random statues of Baal for the sake of breaking it. These conveniences are becoming stupider as time goes on.

“Well this adventure became messy; not in the way I expected, but—” Serra began musing, before a sudden rumbling interrupted her comment. “Guess our opponent has a fragile ego; a trait shared by half the guys I dated.”

But nowhere near as fragile as Junpei’s ego.

“Who dares desecrate my sacred image?!” An ethereal voice boomed, a portal suddenly appearing before the heroes as an imposing deity emerged from it. “Who dares insult the mighty Baal?!”

“So we meet at last! I hadn’t expected you to get this worked up over a broken idol. That said the name is—” Radomus introduced himself, extending his hand towards the deity only for Baal to knock it back.

“Insolent fangame peddler! I care not for your name; I have come to punish the one that destroyed the idol carved in my image.”

He was only being polite, no need to act like a spoilt brat who couldn’t get the chocolate bar they wanted.

He snorted back, pointing at Roland. “Was it you, oh loathsome cretin?!”

“Yeah, what of it? I destroyed your precious little idol; did I injure your precious little ego?” He taunted, with Adrienn letting out a quick sigh of relief as the blonde man’s comment infuriated the ancient deity.

“Pathetic mortal; the Divine Powers will teach you your place in the new world. Krishna shall destroy your shitty games and grant us all a small group of servants. I must say I’m quite pleased with the batch you’re offering me.” Baal hissed, eyeing up the heroes before him.

You couldn’t make this chump more of an obvious strawman than if he also said “I cook up and eat puppies every day”.

“With a pick-up line like that, it’s no wonder you’re still single.” Serra retorted coolly, the deity sputtering in a fit of white-hot fury.

“D-D-Duel me!!” He demanded, hastily bringing out his duel disk and activated it. “I-I’ll make you pay for insulting me!!”

“Sorry, but I have no knowledge of this card game. But Roland does, and I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to duel you in my place.” The Beauty Queen knocked his offer back, a determined expression appearing on Roland’s face.

“Don’t worry my love, I’ll wipe this chump off the face of the planet and reclaim Luna’s Emerald Brooch.” He vowed, the duo giving each other a quick kiss before the citizens of Reborn took their seat on a nearby bench so they can watch the duel.

“So you wish to reclaim the relic I currently possess? Very well, I’ll put it on the line. But I’ll crush you within an instant and take your woman as a bride!” Baal threatened, watching the young man activate his own duel disk as they both shuffled their deck.

And you also had him threaten to steal the author’s waifu, because that’s a totally original idea that’s never been used before in this fic.

“Duel!” Both duelists declared, drawing their opening hand.

(Insert track here: SMT IV: Boss Battle theme)

Roland: 4000
Baal: 4000


“I shall make the first move, I set three cards facedown and end my turn.” Baal declared, leaving the young man a little confused. Surely there must be some reason he chose not to summon a monster, or he simply didn’t have one to summon. Either way, he knew that he had to defeat this troublesome foe as quickly as possible.

“In that case, I’ll draw!” Roland declared, with Baal chuckling ominously.

“Got you; I activate my facedown card, Artifact Ignition! This allows me to destroy a Spell or Trap card on the field and set an Artifact monster in the Spell/Trap zone afterwards. And the card I choose to destroy is my facedown Artifact Scythe, which is special summoned to my field afterwards. And since it was special summoned via this effect, you’re unable to special summon from the extra deck this turn!” The deity countered, taking Roland aback as his foe saw through his strategy, the ancient weapon hovering on the field.

Huh…a somewhat decent first turn play for Artifacts. A rare sight to see a villain not named Tressa do something competent.

“I-I’m not throwing in the towel just because you locked me out of the extra deck. I activate the Continuous Spell, Forbidden Dark Contract with the Swamp King which enables me to special summon D/D/D Doom King Armageddon in defense position. Then I set two cards facedown and end my turn.” The blonde man shot back, glaring at the arrogant deity.

“Hmmm, I can see some similarities between this card game and the art of chess, namely that reading your opponent and predicting their next move can help pave the way to victory. Of course, our foe was able to anticipate Roland’s next move and counter it, putting him in a disadvantage. That said, the game can still swing in his favour at any time.” Radomus pointed out.

“And it’s all thanks to that magical force called plot armor!”

“An astute observation, sir. With how our foe is acting, it seems that his hubris will get the best of him.” Luna added, her tone calm and composed.

“Heheheheh, I’ll teach you fangame addicts your place in the new world. I draw!” Baal retorted. “I’ll activate Double Cyclone to destroy your facedown card on the left and my facedown card.”

Roland let out a quick grunt of annoyance as his facedown card, Contract Laundering was destroyed, with Baal’s facedown card revealing itself to be Artifact Aegis which summoned itself onto his field as per its effect.

“And since I destroyed an Artifact card this turn, I can special summon the Artifact Labrys I just drew. Then I’ll overlay my Aegis with my Scythe to XYZ summon Artifact Durendal; and use its effect to shuffle our hands into the deck before drawing cards equal to the amount we shuffled. I’ll follow up by activating Card of Sanctity so that we draw cards until our hands are at six, before ending my turn with five cards facedown.” The deity chuckled ominously. “It’s your move…”

What, you’re not going to attack him, at all? And to think that I called you somewhat competent earlier.

“Very well, I draw.” Roland called out, drawing his seventh card and eyed it up with curiosity.

“During your Standby Phase, I activate Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy my facedown card, Artifact Achilleshield. Now I can special summon it from my grave and activate it’s effect, you can’t target my monsters for attacks this turn.” Baal sneered, eyeing up Roland. “And don’t forget about your contract’s maintenance fees.”

Roland: 2000

“In that case, I’ll activate the effect of my D/D/D Rebel King Leonidas; enabling me to special summon him from my hand and recover lifepoints equal to the damage that I just took, following up by a Foolish Burial to send my D/D Berfomet to the graveyard.” The young man retorted, shooting a smirk at the deity who growled back at him in response. “Then I’ll activate D/D/D Fusion from my hand and since I’m using my Armageddon as fusion material, I can treat this spell as any one fusion material listed on the monster I’m summoning. Come forth, D/D/D Flame Emperor Executive Genghis! Next I’ll summon D/D Ghost and use Genghis’ effect to special summon a D/D monster from my graveyard, like my Armageddon, enabling me to tune them together to Synchro Summon D/D/D Gust High King Executive Alexander, with Genghis’ effect enabling me to special summon my Berfomet to the field. Then I’ll use Monster Reincarnation, discarding my D/D Proud Ogre to add my Armageddon back to my hand, before using my Call of the Haunted to revive the recently discarded Proud Ogre.”

And not that Roland has his Extra Deck privileges back, he can now vomit out D/D/D’s as if his life depended on it.

“Hurry up already, I’ve got more important business to attend to!” Baal demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Don’t get antsy, I’m nearly done with my turn. I use Berfomet’s effect to change its level to six, before overlaying it with my Proud Ogre to XYZ summon D/D/D Wave High King Executive Caesar. And since there are three D/D/D monsters on my field, my Alexander gains 3000ATK!” The young man added.

ATK (3000-6000)

“Then I’ll play two Continuous Spells; Dark Contract of the Gate and Dark Contract with the Monopoly Seal. The former lets me add a D/D monster from my deck to my hand once per turn, and the latter prevents you from special summoning Extra Deck monsters as long as I have that respective type on the field and my field’s pretty packed so now you know how it feels to get locked out of your Extra Deck. I end my turn with a card facedown.” Roland ended his turn, crossing his arms confidently as if he knew he was going to win soon.

“Oh my, now I know why Baal locked him out of the Extra Deck back then.” Adrienn chimed in, intrigued by what they had just seen.

“Seems the tables have turned; just look at how angry Baal is. A common attitude for bullies who thrive on intimidating those weaker than them.” Bennett added, a small smile on his face as he eyed up the now infuriated Baal.

Is this what the chapter’s meant to be; a poorly written message on how to deal with bullies? The first fucking season of the original Yugioh series dealt with the topic much better!

“D-Damn you, I draw!” The deity seethed, drawing his next card and smirked at it. “I set both cards in my hand facedown and end my turn. I’ll make you pay for with your blood!”

“Oh really? Because it’s my turn, I draw!” The blonde man calmly replied, with the deity chuckling while pointing at his opponent.

“Game over, loser! Now pay all of your lifepoints to fulfil your contracts; now I can claim your—” Baal began, with Roland shaking his head in response. “B-But you must! It’s what the card says!”

“True, I would have to give up all my lifepoints under normal circumstances. But since I have Leonidas on the field, my buddy keeps me safe from all effect damage.” He replied, with Baal’s jaw dropping in shock and anger.

Don’t tell me this is gonna be a reoccurring joke; we don’t need to see every damn villain go “How are you immune to the fees of your Dark Contract cards?!?!”

“T-Then I’ll activate my Heavy Dust Storm to destroy two of my facedown cards, both of which being Artifact Moralltach! Now I’ll special summon the both of them and—” The deity hissed back.

“Sorry, but I activate Caesar’s effect; by detaching a material on either players’ turn, I can negate a card effect that enables you to special summon a monster, including your Moralltachs.” Roland countered, the deity’s face scrunching up in anger as his comeback was shot in the foot. “Furthermore, both Caesar and another D/D monster gain 1800ATK, and I select my Genghis!”

That would mean that only one Moralltach has it’s effect negated, meaning that Baal still gets to summon a copy and destroy one of your monsters.

ATK (2800-4600)
ATK (2800-4600)


“T-This cannot be! I-I refuse to lose to you fangame addicts!!” Baal roared in anger, slowly backing away in fear as he knew his fate was sealed.

“Consider this your punishment for attempting to ruin my friends’ lives. Go my comrades, eviscerate this fallen god before me!” Roland declared, his monsters lunging at his foes side as Baal screaming in pain over his lifepoints getting dropped to zero.

Well, it was slightly more tolerable that the other duel; not that it means much in the long run, it’s still a piece of shit.

(Track ends here)

Baal: 0
Winner: Roland


“G-Gah! I have lost.” Baal exclaimed, doubling over in pain as the red cracks soon appeared all over his body. “No! NO!! This isn’t fair; I was robbed of my victory by this fangame junkie. P-Please, give me another chance!” The deity pleaded, his prayers going unanswered as he let out a roar of pain before exploding into a million pieces, his deck and a velvet box lying still on the ground where the deity once stood. Roland made his way to the loot, scooped both items up before making his way towards Luna.

“For you, Luna.” He offered, handing her back her Emerald Brooch.

Now that we’ve gotten this “Divine Vanguard” plotline out of the way, hopefully there will be a decrease in the amount of—

*whispering*

What do you mean there’s another duel in the next chapter?!


“Thank you very much, Roland. I must say, I was amazed at your masterful comeback.” The blonde girl smiled at him, accepting her Brooch back before taking it out of the box and putting it back on. “So, how do I look?”

“As amazing as when I first saw you…” Bennett sighed in a mixture of love and awe.

“Well with the Emerald Brooch back in the hands of its proper owner, all we need to do is head back to base and wait for the others to—” Radomus began, before a weak groan of pain echoed from a nearby alleyway. “Sounds like someone’s in trouble.”

“That voice…it could only be…” Roland began, his eyes widening in shock as he quickly ran into the alleyway, the others exchanging a quick look of confusion before they saw their friend emerge from the alley, holding an injured Micaiah in his arms. The silver-haired maiden was clutching a fairly deep stab wound on her stomach, her face wincing in pain as the blonde man helped lower her to her feet, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

Wow, this may be the first time a protagonist has shed some blood in this story. I’m taken aback by this new development.

“M-Micaiah!” Adrienn exclaimed, running up to the injured woman. “A-Are you ok?!”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine…” Micaiah replied weakly, turning her gaze to the side. A-After I defeated Seth, we were ambushed by Ashura-Kai grunts. T-They took the others to their headquarters in Roppongi Hills; please, you must save them!”

“In that case, we’ll head on over there. Bennett, are you and Luna able to take her back to base so she can get patched up?” Serra asked her son a favour, her voice carrying a hint of urgency.

“But the studio is quite a distance from here; surely there’s another place where we can take her to.” The young teen inquired.

“Fear not; there’s a Hunter Association outpost near out location. I’ll just send them a request and with any luck, we’ll be able to get some help there.” Luna suggested, bringing out her PDA and sent a message to the outpost, before getting one back a few seconds later. “Nice, they accepted. They saw us defeat Baal and were more than happy to help us.”

Gee, yet another coincidence that benefits the heroes. This author really is trying to go 3-for-3!

“In that case, the four of us will head on over and teach that wretched Tayama a lesson. And if he hopes to use his cards in a duel, then I know who I’m nominating to accept his challenge.” Serra replied, shooting a quick smile at Roland.

“Well what are we waiting for, let’s teach that asshole a new lesson in pain!” The blonde man cheered, the two groups going their separate ways in order to save their beloved friends.

Another day, another chapter done and dusted. Hopefully after the author gets a thrill of beating up his punching bag that spouts the same fucking line all the damn time, he’ll cut back on the card games.

The two duels here may have been short, but I’ll make it up to you by giving you a longer, more satisfying duel in the next lesson. It’ll be a good one as it’ll punish Tayama for being a complete tosser, so I hope you’ll be looking forward to it.

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch reclaimed)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (POW) (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos (POW)
Radomus
Corey (POW)
Heather (POW) (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly (POW)
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Jonathan (P.O.W)
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer
Walter (P.O.W)

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth (Defeated)
Baal (Defeated)
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
Hallelujah
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick
Triple 6
Pretty Boy
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Last edited by GorillaGamer on Sun Feb 02, 2020 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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ConcernedGamer
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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Jan 26, 2020 4:01 pm

Good to see this fanfic still being put through the grinder.

To answer your question from a few posts back on how I didn't comment on the author’s self-insert appearing, there is a few factors to that. Aside from my eyes probably glazing over at reading it, and at this point finding it barely distinguishable whether the author uses one or the other character to live his fantasy wish-fulfillment through, I also felt you handled the mocking of it to where I had nothing to add to that.

Now, what has transpired since then has given me a few curious thoughts. With this author's methods of injecting video feeds of card games to excuse their inclusion, I'm starting to get reminded of Francis the Snivy's fantasy football chapters, which StabbyKobold tackled in his mocks, what with the sports commentary and everything. These battles also portray exactly why there are no stakes in this fanfic worth considering. The antagonists can't make themselves out as credible threats because they always at minimum step on each other's toes, when it should be their main objective to not do so as that would at least assure them a victory chance percentage above zero. Like you point out occasionally in some fashion or other, their behavior is bordering on stupid self-satirical parody enough for me to invoke the most recently tainted name of Thundercats. It's like the author doesn't realize that a victory won from stupidity does nothing to elevate the victor in any sense beyond being a little less stupid than the competitors.

What I am curious about, since I lack the knowledge of the source material, is this. Isn't the balance and logical stakes out of proportions? I get that conflict could revolve around card games in Yu-Gi-Oh, but I am guessing that didn't involve active and open warfare that the entire public could witness on the sideline. I can't help but feel that half of these pretended stakes can be knocked down faster than a house of cards, by one unaffiliated vigilante on a rooftop with a sniper rifle.

On as sidenote, I think your font color slipped near the start of Chapter 51, where you mention 'Krishna was redpilled'.

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by StabbyKobold » Sat Feb 01, 2020 9:08 am

Every new chapter of this story is just the same headache in a different part of my brain. Happy to see it ridiculed as deserved.

The entire narrative of this mess is cartoonish in the worst way possible. In most saturday morning cartoon shows of the past, the plot lines were generally stuck in status quo limbo. You couldn't have the story be resolved just like that, the networks needed viewers to be stuck to the screen. And so every week was an exercise of "let's slowly build towards a climax until we get taken off the air". This story is like the worst of those scenarios.

They're engaged in an open war against malevolent deities commanding armies of followers, but every chapter now it's either, "how dumb can the antagonists be this week" or "how many buckets of chunky salsa can we make from killing armies of mooks" OR "let's set up a virtual reality sex dungeon utilizing the likenesses of our friends for our own perverse enjoyment", OR OR OR "let's have a literal god die because I rolled a yahtzee, I mean, won a card game." And they can keep doing that, because the author has crammed so many named characters into this story, that the list at the end of every chapter is more than two hundred lines long. Fuck, this thing is a mess.

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Feb 02, 2020 1:05 am

@ConcernedGamer Thanks for pointing that out, I’ve fixed the font color issue. As for the meat of your comment, while I do understand your reasons for keeping quite about the author’s self-insert, I just found the shamelessness so funny that I had to tear into it. The comment about the stakes in this ‘war’ is interesting as it raises a point as to why some random vigilante doesn’t take out Krishna or Ame from afar, depending on where their loyalty lies. It doesn’t happen in Yugioh because the main way of dealing with conflict in that universe is with card games, but since there’s elements of Shin Megami Tensai, Code Geass and even Batman in the story, the lack of vigilantes is frankly baffling.

@StabbyKobold: It’s funny that you see this fic as a terrible kid’s cartoon, because this fic comes across as one of those schlocky 80’s action movies to me. It’s got it all; comically evil villains, armies of mooks getting slaughtered effortlessly, women who indulge in the author’s sexual fantasies and more. As for the list, it’s a complete nuisance; the damn thing is just as wretched as the list in that fucking Smash Bros. fic I mocked ages ago.

In case you haven’t had enough card games and villains acting like perverted Skeletor clones, allow me to indulge you all into a chapter that frankly disturbs me to no end.


Welcome to the next instalment of Divine Conspiracy, where we’ll be seeing a long-awaited duel in this chapter. Keep in mind it has some disturbing content in it, so viewer discretion is advised.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 52: Terminating Tayama, the Terrible Tosser!

Roppongi Hills: Shibuya

Having arrived at the main headquarters of their enemy, the Ashura-Kai, the four heroes surveyed the scene and saw that the front entrance was heavily guarded.

“Argh, this is no good! there’s way too many guards to deal with.” Roland protested, his brow furrowing further. “And their patrols have no pattern whatsoever; making it impossible for us to sneak past them.”

Irregular patrol patterns? Huh, didn’t expect them to be that clever. Which only makes their performance on the battlefield all the more pathetic.

“Not necessarily, Roland. You’re merely looking at it from the wrong side of the coin.” Radomus objected, a cunning plan forming in his mind. “How fortunate that you have a master of disguise by your side.”

In other words, the same shit that Maximillion Pegasus, the third-removed descendant of Baldrick suggested. Only this time it’ll work, because the heroes came up with it.

“Since you have the costumes sorted out, it’s up to me to provide the cover story. And between you and me, I have a story that’ll easily fool those guards.” Serra chimed in, her idea going hand-in-hand with her comrade’s plan as the heroes spent the next few minutes getting themselves ready. As the guards continued their patrol, a whistle caught their attention as they turned to the source and saw Serra being escorted by Roland, Radomus and Adrienn, the latter three disguised as Ashura-Kai members.

“Huh? Whose are youse?” The surly bouncer called out to them, with Adrienn flinching in disgust over the thug’s foul breath.

“W-We were tasked with escorting this fine woman to Mr. Tayama.” Xey replied, nervously adjusting the collar of their suit. “Once we told her about our bosses’ skills in the bedroom, she fell head over heels for him.”

“However, we did look at her for more than a few seconds, which makes us traitors to the Ashura-Kai. Guess this is goodbye then.”

“Yeah, after hearing how passionate and caring and considerate he is, I knew I had to ditch my boyfriend instantly. Besides, I’m sure Mr. Tayama is a lot bigger than my ex will ever be.” Serra added, resisting the urge to break her act and start laughing as the bouncer eyed them up.

“Fine, youse can pass. I’m sure youse know where Mr. Tayama’s room is. Be careful, hes busy dealing with some odder punks.” The bouncer said, stepping to the side as the group of four stepped into the luxurious apartment complex and entered the elevators. Once they were sure nobody was watching them, they broke down into laughter over how easily they fooled those simpletons.

Simpletons that, need I remind you, are capable of breaking out of predictable patrol routines.

“Unbelievable, those morons fell for it hook, line and sinker!” Roland chuckled, holding onto his torso. “That cover story you made up was pure gold!”

“Indeed; I spouted some of the sappy nonsense that my ex-husband used on me and they loved it. Imagine, Tayama being caring and considerate when he had his thugs ambush our friends; I doubt he’s even that big anyway.” Serra chimed in, letting out a quick chuckle as the group patiently waited in the rising elevator.

Well of course he wasn’t going to have a big schlong; Junpei doesn’t want to lose his waifu to his bashing target.

Meanwhile

“Ugh…my head hurts…” Heather winced, slowly sitting up on the carpet as she took in her surroundings. The young girl found herself in the penthouse suite that she had visited way back then with the hopes of forming a peace treaty with the Ashura-Kai, only this time the room looked a lot different. Now standing on her own feet, she soon spotted Anna and Shelly shuffling their feet nervously on the carpet as the pink-haired girl saw what had made her friends nervous; standing before them was Tayama, gingerly tossing her Ruby Ring in the air before catching it in his palm.

“Well, well. It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Heather?” He smirked, placing the ring on his desk as if daring Heather to try and snatch it from him. “I’m glad you’re more co-operative than those other two men you came here with.”

“H-Hey! We didn’t do nothing to you and your thugs, s-so let us go now!” Noel requested, struggling to break free from his ropes as he and Corey were on the left side of the spacious room, guarded by a pair of Ashura-Kai thugs.

“Look Tayama, we have no interest in your little game, so if you could give me back my ring and let us go, that’ll be appreciated.” Heather demanded, crossing her arms with a huff.

Evidently, she knows what’s coming up and is trying to get out of here as soon as possible.

“That’s MR. Tayama to you, you brat!” The first thug yelled in anger.

“Watch your mouth punk! You want me to sell your dad to the whorehouse?!” The other thug threatened, pointing at her dangerously.

“Well I doubt I’d be that profitable for you, so it’ll be a waste of time…” Corey commented, his mind taken aback by the pitiful threat lobbied at him.

Well I’ll be, that actually got a small chuckle out of me. Even though the Ashura-Kai already used that threat back in the chapter where the peace treaty was discussed, which this very chapter mentioned half a page ago.

“Rather than let this arguing go on any longer, let’s get down to the business at hand. You want something I have, so I think it’s fair that you three do something for me.” Tayama stated, raising a hand to calm his goons down.

“Y-You want a f-favor from us?” Shelly inquired nervously, a sinister smirk forming on the crime lords face.

“Yes…take off your clothes.” The tosser requested, horrified looks appearing on the heroes faces.

Well that was pretty forward of you, Tayama. Also, what the fuck?!

“O-Our clothes? But we’re too young for such a thing!” Anna protested, with Tayama letting out a low chuckle.

“Hahahaha, that’s what those fools in the Hunter Association tell you. Love has no age, as I often say. Do this for me, and you’ll get your ring back.” The older man replied, a failed attempt at easing the young girls.

“B-But I don’t want to do it; I-I’m scared…” Shelly squeaked nervously, an enraged look appearing on Tayama’s face.

“Take your damn clothes off, NOW!!” He demanded, yelling at the young girls who flinched in terror.

Ah, I get it now. Junpei must’ve played Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties before writing this chapter. It all makes sense now.

A few tears of fear falling down her cheeks, Shelly began to slowly undress herself with Anna and Heather exchanging sad looks with each other before following suit. Both Corey and Noel turned their heads away from their loved ones in respect as Tayama and his thugs slobbered over the trio like rabid wolves. Soon enough, the trio were left in nothing but their panties, with Anna and Shelly standing close to each other to protect their petite bodies as Heather shot the old bastard a dirty look.

While I’m eternally grateful that the author hasn’t gone into intense detail over this scene, the entire thing is making me uncomfortable. Out of the blue, he had three underage girls from one of his favourite games undress themselves, and I don’t know if it’s to bash Tayama, or for his own self-gratification.

“There, we degraded ourselves for your sick pleasure, MR. Tayama. Now can I have my fucking ring back?” She snapped at Tayama, who smirked at the girls in perversion.

“No…now I want you three to make out with each other.” He requested, drool escaping his rancid mouth. “After all, those two seem to be doing a good job at it…”

Dear lord, this is going to far. Say what you will about the lemons, but at the very least they depicted characters above the age of consent. Now he wants the little girls to make out with each other.

“But you said that we only had to take our clothes off.” Anna protested once more, frowning at the older man for going back on his deal.

“True, I did say that. But given how rude Heather was to me before, I think an…additional requirement was in place for you troublemakers.” Tayama sneered at them. Not wanting to anger him any further, they began cuddling up against each other, giving each other a series of quick kisses as the disgusting tosser began digging into his pants and whipped out his diseased, borderline gangrenous member, pus oozing out of the several warts that peppered the organ.

If the author was hoping to make me sick, than reading about Tayama’s plague-riddled dong has done the job and then some.

Slowly stroking it, he continued to leer at his eye-candy, mentally cursing the police who attempted to arrest him for possession of child pornography. However, a more twisted idea formed in his mind, one the he knows he will love. “You can stop now. Shelly, why don’t you give me some…special service?”

The lilac-haired girl ceased her cuddling and turned to look at Tayama, recoiling in horror at the sight of his member. “N-No! I won’t let that thing near me!”

That’s a good girl, Shelly. You tell him to fuck right off!

“You don’t have a damn choice! Suck on my cock, now!” The tosser demanded, glaring at the young girl.

“I said no, and that’s that!” Shelly snapped back, causing Tayama to growl at her and advance towards her. But just as he was about to grab her, the door to his office slammed open, a guttural battlecry echoing through the room as Roland lunged at Tayama and punched him square in the jaw, causing the tosser to crash into his desk.

And right on cue, the author avatar bursts in to save the day. Don’t you just love predictable writing?

“M-Mr Tayama!” His thugs cried out, with Corey and Noel giving each other a confirmatory nod as they broke free of their bindings and slammed the thugs onto the ground, punching the back of their heads to knock the goons out.

“Roland, Adrienn, Serra, Radomus; you saved us!” Shelly jumped for joy, wiping a small tear away as the young girls began redressing themselves quickly.

“Anna, Noel! I’m so relived that you’re both safe.” Radomus called out to his children, embracing them tightly in a warm hug.

“I-It was scary, but at least I wasn’t alone. Besides, I knew you’d come and rescue me.” Anna chirped happily, having remembered the matter at hand. “Heather, the ring!”

“Got it!” Heather replied, quickly lunging towards Tayama’s and scooped the ring up in her hand as the older man recovered from the punch and saw the retreating figure.

Didn’t know Tayama put the ring on while my back was turned; guess that explains his malformed dick. Proofread your shit before posting it, Junpei!

“G-Give that back!” He demanded, standing up on his feet as Heather poked her tongue out at him.

“This slimeball took the Ruby Ring from you?” Adrienn inquired.

“Yes, and he forced us to take our clothes off if we wanted it back.” Shelly answered, the heroes turning to glare at the sick fucker before them.

“So you forced some young girls to strip for you? You sick bastard!” Roland hissed at the crime lord.

Which one? Tayama, or the author?

“So what if I did? It’s your fault I was forced into this sexual emergency; you did take my prize after all.” Tayama retorted.

“Hah, your prize?” The blonde man continued.

“Yes, Serra! Serra is my prize and my prize only! I won’t allow some motherfucker to—” The bespectacled man began, only to get cut off by Serra laughing over his comment. “M-My prize, w-what’s so funny?”

I’d groan over the use of his trite ‘fork-em over’ comment, but I’m amazed he had the balls to say it in front of the woman he’s lusting after.

“I’m laughing at the notion that I’m your prize when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even if I go out of my way to ignore the fact that you’re a sick predator who lusts after underage girls, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a contemptible parasite who thrives on exploiting innocent people for the sake of fattening your pockets. Besides, I already have a most wonderful boyfriend I’m currently dating.” Serra retorted coolly, as she and Roland gave each other a quick kiss on the lips. “And between you and me, he’s one of two men I dated who have treated me with respect.”

“One of two men?” Roland asked in curiosity, glancing momentarily at Radomus. “By any chance was it—”

“Me? I do apologise for cutting you off, but you’re on the money. Though it was a one-off affair, it was a most magical and exhilarating night for the both of us. But that’s a tale for another time, as there’s a ruffian who needs dealing with.” The gentleman answered, a fuming Tayama breathing angrily to himself.

Radomus was smart enough to stop at one date, knowing that any more would enrage the gluttonous author behind this dreck.

“Everywhere I go, there are thieves and scoundrels who try and take my prize from me. I will kill all those who stand in my way!” Tayama bellowed, bringing out his duel disk. “Roland, duel me! I will make you suffer for taking what’s rightfully mine!”

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, Tayama. You will pay for all the suffering you inflicted onto my friends!” The blonde man retorted, bringing out his own duel disk.

Yes, such suffering as…what else has he done asides from making the girls strip? Ah yes, I’ve got it; being the most one-note villain in a story filled with shitty villains!

“Duel!” Both duellists declared, drawing their opening hands.

(Insert track here: Pokémon Reborn Gym-Battle)

This entire ‘insert music for the duels’ nonsense is already garbage, but are you seriously telling me that you couldn’t pick an SMT track to fit the occasion?

Roland: 4000
Tayama: 4000


“Allow me to bedazzle and terrify you with my skill; Gladiatorial Entrance! This allows me to special summon a Gladiator Beast from my deck and activate its effect. Come, Gladiator Beast Hoplomus!” Tayama declared, summoning the beast-warrior from his deck as the rhinoceros bolstered its defensive capabilities.

Gladiator Beasts! I love these guys almost as much as I love the Bujins. It’s just a shame that the author starts off by summoning one of the least relevant members of the archetype.

DEF (2100-2400)

“Now then, I’ll special summon Test Tiger from my hand with its effect, enabling me to tribute Hoplomus and Tiger to Link Summon Test Panther, enabling me to add a card to my hand. Then I’ll summon Gladiator Beast Dimacari and end my turn with two cards facedown.” He continued, glaring at Roland. “Now then, make your mo—hey, hey! What are you doing?!”

“Forgive me, Mr. Tayama. I was simply sharing a bottle of your most expensive wine with my co-workers.” Radomus chimed in, taking a bottle of wine out of Tayama’s alcohol cabinet before pouring a glass for himself, Serra, Adrienn and Corey. “But don’t allow me to interrupt your game; go for it, Roland!”

I like how little he gives a shit about the card game; merely using it as an excuse to raid other people’s wine cabinets.

“Very well, I’ll draw!” Roland declared, drawing his card and analysed Tayama’s field. The blonde man knew that Gladiator Beasts were no joke, especially with the new support they got recently. However, he figured that the imbecile before him would have no idea on how to use them properly, allowing him to be a bit bold with his strategies. “I’ll play two copies of my Dark Contract with the Gate and activate their effects to add a Swirl Slime and A Necro Slime to my hand, before using Swirl Slime’s effect to send it and Necro Slime to the Graveyard to Fusion Summon D/D/D Oracle King D’Arc. Next I’ll play Forbidden Dark Contract of the Swamp King and use its effect to special summon D/D/D Doom King Armageddon. Now I’ll have my Oracle King attack your Panther—”

Well that’s nice, Roland already has two big beaters on his field while Tayama has fuck all. And no, the Link Monster that he barely utilised doesn’t count.

“Pathetic, I activate my Gladiator Taming to switch your monster into defense position!” The crime lord retorted, activating his quick-play spell as a whip soon appeared in Dimacari’s hand with the Cape Buffalo lashing at the powerful fiend.

“No matter, I’ll end my turn with a card facedown.” The blonde man continued, with Tayama smirking at the meddlesome foe. The old tosser knew that his continuous spells will drain all of Roland’s lifepoints away, enabling him to claim his prize.

*Sigh…* I can see the next joke coming from a mile away.

“In that case, I draw!” The bespectacled man declared. “Perfect, I summon Gladiator Beast Andal to my field and have Dimacari attack your Armageddon!” As he ordered his monster to, the buffalo lunged at the omniscient fiend and shattered it with its bulky fists, before glowing soon afterwards as it retreated back into the deck with another beast-warrior taking its place. “As I expected, my Laquari comes out to play, which means it gets a generous attack boost.”

ATK (1800-2100)

“Now, I end my turn. It’s game over Roland; hand me my prize, now!” Tayama demanded, with Roland snickering to himself. “W-What’s so funny?!”

“The amount of times I’ve have people declare victory over me due to my Dark Contract cards is staggering.” The blonde man replied, drawing his next card. “Since my Oracle King is on the field, any effect damage I would take is added to my lifepoints instead.”

Roland: 8000

“Th-That’s not fair!” The crime lord protested angrily, shaking his fist at Roland. “I was supposed to get my prize now!”

Yep, it’s the same old “How are you still alive” spiel that always comes after Roland makes a decent play with D/D/D’s. Funnily enough, that’s the ONLY deck in this entire fic that gets any sort of good plays; favouritism perhaps?

“Oh put a sock in it; I wonder how your comrades put up with you and your incessant whining.” Adrienn chimed in, causing the older man to growl under his breath.

“Now where was I? Oh yes; I place my newest monster in its Pendulum Zone, Divine Go-D/D/D Zero King Zero G.O.D. Reiji! Now I can use his effect to normal summon a level 5 or higher D/D monster without a tribute, and I choose D/D/D Oblivion King Abyss Ragnarok and use its effect to bring back my Armageddon from the graveyard!” Roland continued with grace and finesse.

“What a mouthful; guess the designer of that card really loved himself.” Serra chuckled lightly to herself, taking a small sip of wine. “Then again, I can’t blame him. Especially since the fruits of his labor are giving Tayama such a hard time.”

Eh, Declan Akaba never struck me as the arrogant type. Seto Kaiba on the other hand…

“Since I have two Level 8 monsters on my field, I can overlay my monsters together to XYZ summon D/D/D Duo-Dawn King Kali Yuga. But it’s not over yet; I activate my Dark Contract of the Gates to add two more D/D monsters to my hand, before using my Forbidden Dark Contract’s effect to fusion summon using the D/D Proud Ogre and D/D Lilith in my hand to Fusion Summon D/D/D Flame Emperor Executive Genghis! Next, I’ll summon D/D Ghost from my hand, with Genghis’ effect activating so I can special summon Proud Ogre from the graveyard and tune the two together to Synchro Summon D/D/D Cursed King Siegfried!” The blonde man continued, glancing at the final card in his hand. “Now I’ll play the Card of Demise, allowing me to draw five cards on the condition I discard my entire hand after five turns have passed, not that it’ll matter in the long run. From my hand, I play the standard Dark Contract with the Swamp King and use it’s effect to send D/D/D Supersight King Zero Maxwell and D/D/D Supreme King Kaiser to the graveyard to Fusion Summon D/D/D Wave Oblivion King Caesar Ragnarok. Next I’ll follow up with my facedown card, D/D/D Human Resources; this enables me to shuffle three D/D or Dark Contract cards from my graveyard into the deck to add two cards to my hand. But I won’t need to use them, as I can end you this turn; my infallible legion, crush this pathetic worm before me!”

You see what I mean about my earlier comment regarding the decent plays? None of the other decks get turns like this, unless the duelist is a cheating piece of shit. I’m looking at your dead body, Gaston!

Tayama could barely do so much as scream, watching in horror as the onslaught devastated his field and denied him the one chance he had of claiming his prize.

(Track ends here)

Tayama: 0
Winner: Roland


“Hey, hey, hey, hey! Th-This can’t be; how could I lose?!?!” Tayama bellowed, yanking his duel disk off his arm and threw it towards Roland’s feet. “Stupid piece of shit deck failed me!”

Because what better way to end the duel than have your opponent throw a literal temper tantrum?

“How pitiful; rather than accept that your loss was a result of your poor decision making, you cast blame towards the cards you wielded. This is even more laughable when you factor in that Gladiator Beasts were quite the powerhouse back in the day, with the new support breathing some new life into them.” The blonde man coolly retorted, taking the deck for himself. “Since you handed them over to me, I’ll gladly accept your gift. After all I’m sure I can use them better than you ever could.”

“Yeah…I see where you’re coming from. My deck for my prize; a most reasonable trade if I say so myself.” The resilient tosser calmed down a little, outstretching his hand. “Well, time to fulfil your end of the bargain.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the own who threw your cards at him before making the deal, so if anything you just gifted him something for nothing. Not that I’d ever go with you in the first place; you are by none, the most repulsive man I have ever met, and I’ve have the misfortune of coming across some nasty folk. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a most wonderful boyfriend to congratulate.” Serra smirked at the crime lord, bringing Roland into a hug as the two kissed each other passionately, the young man gently squeezing his lovers’ soft, plump backside with Serra giggling affectionately in response. This had caused Tayama to broke, collapsing onto his knees and began crying loudly over losing his prize for good.

And then a bus drove up to the scene so that everyone can applaud Roland, with an eight-year old Barack Obama handing him a Nobel Peace Prize!

“Pathetic…to see the once “great” Tayama crying like a spoilt brat.” A voice coldly mocked him, the group turning to the source only to see the office door wide open, a trio of figures sneering at the fallen crime lord.

“H-Hey, aren’t you the leaders of the angels and demons?” Noel inquired, with Jonathan laughing lightly in response.

“That may have been the case a while ago, but we were abandoned by the ones who we put our faith and trust in. At the very least, I can look Flynn and Isabeau in the eye again.” The young man replied, an arrogant smirk plastered on Walter’s face.

“Aw man, I missed the part where he gets destroyed in a card game. I would’ve loved to have seen that.” Walter whistled to himself. “Still, seeing him cry like this is amazing.”

Well would you look at that, Walter and Jonathan have regained their competence now that they’re no longer antagonists. If it’s that easy to regain your intelligence, then I don’t see why the other villains can’t try it out.

“Y-You!!” Tayama snapped, getting back on his feet and glared at the samurai. “H-How dare you let them out, Hallelujah! You will pay for your betrayal!”

“Betrayal? Hah, don’t make me laugh. You were the one who betrayed me when you got my brother killed!” Hallelujah snapped back, crossing his arms in defiance. “Besides, it’s over for you; I staged a coup with the help of these fine gentlemen.”

“A coup?! What do you mean, a coup?!” The bespectacled tosser demanded.

“It’s simple, really. Turns out a majority of the Ashura-Kai are sick of this pointless war you dragged them in, more so since you got Abe killed, whom they respected greatly. What we’re saying is that your reign of terror is over.” Jonathan answered, a look of horror appearing on Tayama’s face as he realised that it was indeed over.

Let me guess, these faceless soldiers also grew to appreciate the fangames after playing them for an hour. Yeah, there are fangames in this story; shocking, isn’t it.

“No…NO! I-I will not lose to some scum like you!” He bellowed, sweat pouring down his face as Roland glared at him.

“No, you won’t lose to us; you HAVE lost to us.” The blonde man retorted, breaking away from Serra as he moved behind the crime lord. “Now if you’ll let me arrest you, I can ensure this process will go smoothly and painlessly.”

Tayama was fed up with this whole thing; he wanted to kill Roland so he could claim his prize. Upon realising Roland was close to the open window, he had formed a most deadly plan. Turning around abruptly, he let out a bellow and charged at Roland, the old man constantly shouting, “my prize!” over and over as he attempted to tackle Roland, only for the blonde man to get out of the way with Tayama falling out the window. He began screaming in fear as he began falling, only for something to snatch his feet within its grasp, the tosser looking up and saw that it was…Antasma?

“Screeek! Vat vere vou finking, running out ze vindow like zat?” The Bat King inquired, turning to face the heroes who had stunned expressions on their faces.

Don’t mind him; he’s just trying to win his Darwin Award.

“Woah! What kind of demon is that?!” Walter exclaimed.

“I’m not sure myself, there was nothing in the sacred texts I read that mentions a creature like that. Besides, I thought you would know more about demons than I, given your time with the Demon Lord himself.” Jonathan replied.

“As someone with personal knowledge regarding the demons, I don’t think that creature before us is one…” Hallelujah added, raising a hand to his chin.

Well you are from two completely different franchises, so that explains the confusion.

“Vallow me zo introduce myzelf; I am ze Bat King, Antasma. I shall claim my beloffet Angels of Aevium for myself. Tayama’s service to Ze Divine Conzpiracy is not over vet, zo I zhall be taking him back to our baze!” The Bat King introduced himself, before flying off into the night with his prize in tow.

“…Seems that Tressa’s taste in henchmen is interesting, to say the least.” Corey commented.

And unoriginal, if I say so.

“It doesn’t matter who or what she throws at us, there’s no way we’ll ever lose to her!” Heather declared, putting her Ruby Ring back on. “Come on, let’s head back to base so we can begin our next plan of attack!”

“W-Wait a minute, what about Micaiah? She—she got herself injured tyring to protect us.” Shelly inquired, a concerned expression on her face.

“Not to worry, I just receive word from the Hunter Association that’s she’s all better now. We’ll head on over to the outpost to pick her up, and to explain our new allies to them.” Adrienn replied, the heroes agreeing with xyr plan as they all vacated the premises, hoping that they’ll get to finish off Tayama in their next encounter.

Yeah, I tore that fucker Tayama a new asshole. I never liked the guy; he’s a selfish, cowardly, ugly, sexist creep who’s too much of an arrogant tosser for his own good. Rest assured, he will get his due punishment. That said, the next chapter will be very intense, so make sure to look out for it.

But he did get his due punishment, he lost a card game AND the chance to marry his waifu. What more could you possible do to the guy?!

And that’s it for this chapter, which wasn’t too bad if you completely ignore the part where three underage girls stripped themselves down. I hope to god there’s none of that shit in the upcoming chapters, or else I’m gonna jump out the first window I see!


Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch reclaimed)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (POW) (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos (POW)
Radomus
Corey (POW)
Heather (POW) (Ruby Ring reclaimed)
Shelly (POW)
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Jonathan
Walter
Hallelujah
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth (Defeated)
Baal (Defeated)
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick
Triple 6
Pretty Boy
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:49 pm

After an onslaught of boring, uninspired duels, how about a boring, uninspired GTA knock-off to freshen things up?

After all those exciting card games, it’s about time I give you all another slice of action that I’m sure you’ll love; a thrilling car chase around Tokyo. It’ll be a most exhilarating experience for you all to enjoy and will be some of my finest work yet. So buckle your seatbelts everyone; it’s time to ride on the wild side of life!

I may have said this before, but I can’t help but smile at this guy’s notes. Sure, what he’s hyping up is the literary equivalent of a castration, but at least he’s typing it with a smile on his face.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 53: Grand Theft Auto: Tokyo Drift

Narita International Airport: Kanto: Tokyo

The normally bustling airport was deathly silent; fitting since all the tourists and citizens are busy in their homes, keeping themselves safe from the demons rampaging throughout the once awe-inspiring metropolis. However, the silence would prove to be a boon for once as the lone figure walking throughout the derelict airport needed to move undetected to ensure their mission would be a success.

Yet instead of sneaking into the country via a boat, you opted to arrive via private jet, no doubt attracting whatever demons may be wandering nearby. Good jerb there!

With her long, flowing orange hair, her bright blue eyes and her tall yet slender figure, she was a most beautiful sight to behold. This combined with her stunning outfit, which was made up of a red and white striped shirt, a pair of denim short-shorts and a large, thick magenta jacket, was clear proof that she worked in the modelling industry.

“Hmmm, for once I’m glad the crowd isn’t here to cheer for me, Risa Raider.” She mused to herself, adjusting the headphones and tinted sunglasses that rested on her head.

Ah yes, another side character from Rejuvenation. Wonder how long it’ll take for her to go down on the author’s self-insert.

Risa Raider was on of Aevium’s most beloved citizens due to her efforts in supporting the disadvantaged masses, as well as fighting alongside the Angels of Aevium against the enemies of peace and freedom. Recently, she stumbled across some troubling information regarding a possible truce between the Divine Conspiracy and the Cult of Kosmos and informed her allies in Tokyo about it.

Guess the Divine Conspiracy needed more faceless rapists to use as disposable cannon fodder.

In response, they pledged to send their finest escort to protect her as they travelled from the airport to their base of operations. Having stepped outside, Risa took in a deep breath of the clean crisp air, a smile forming on her face upon seeing her chauffer for the trip.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it Risa?” Julius greeted, the duo firmly shaking each other’s hands.

Wow, that previous comment I made was a joke, but I guess Junpei really needed to get his faps off.

“I knew the Angels promised me a good escort, but to have my favorite Xen Destroyer himself escort me is the best outcome possible.” She smiled back, the young man opening the door for her as he hopped into the driver’s seat and revved up the engine.

“I hope you don’t mind if I brought a few others with me; safety in numbers as they say.” The young man commented, gesturing towards Ren, Damien and Kymmi who all waved back at her as they buckled themselves up.

“Fine by me, this place gives me the creeps anyway; it’s so…empty.” Risa replied, leaning towards the young man and began petting his cheek. “Once we’re done with business, why don’t we partake in a little pleasure…?” She purred seductively.

“Oh no, how can we have the audience remember my self-insert after four chapters worth of absence?”

“I’ve got it! We’ll introduce a character from Rejuvenation I like and have her make a comment on his status as a sex machine. This is genius!”


I’m pretty sure that was the conversation the author had with himself while writing this chapter.


“It’s best if you get permission from Lady Melia beforehand; I’m but her devoted servant.” Julius answered, turning his attention to the road as he began driving down the road and towards the base, unaware that they group were being watched by some shadowy agents.

“Tch, I never liked that bitch Risa; always going on about how she fights for the people or some shit. I can’t believe that’s who they got to replace Serra.” Junko scoffed in disgust, watching the fleeing SUV alongside Mukuro.

Oh, you’re back? I would’ve forgotten about your existence had it not been for that damn list the author pastes at the end of every chapter!

“Fret not, our agents in the field will deal with them swiftly. Besides, they’ll prove to be useful bargaining tools against the Angels of Aevium.” Mukuro chimed in.

“Exactly. I can’t believe we have to work with those creepy cultists; why are we bringing the Angels to them anyway, to have them partake in some sort of rape orgy?” Junko questioned outloud, shivering to herself. “And I thought that disgusting tosser Tayama was bad enough.”

You know your villain writing skills suck when you have your other villains comment on their one-dimensional nature.

“I’ve heard that Tayama’s days are numbered, what with the embarrassing loss he was dealt in his personal headquarters. But that’s for another time, I’ve got to inform the assault squads to get ready.” Mukuro replied, bringing out her walkie-talkie and spoke into it. “Caesar, get the Devil’s Hand ready, we’ve got a target to capture.”

“Loud and clear, I’ll get my boys ready to begin the attack.” Caesar promised, sending a message to his field commanders to begin their important mission. “Attention agents of the Devil’s Hand. We were tasked with a most important mission; to retrieve valuable intel regarding our latest plans and troop movements. Should the enemy get their hands on it, it’ll spell doom for our glorious movement. Which is why we must capture the anti-Tressa infidels and bring them to justice!”

Most terrorists commit evil deeds for the sake of appeasing their god; these chumps commit evil deeds for the sake of underage merchant pussy.

“OOORAAAAAAAHHH!!!! For Lady Tressa!” The bikers hollered and cheered, with Caesar hopping onto his bike and lead the charge as they all swarmed towards their target.

0000

“So, how have things been at Aevium while we were away?” Ren inquired, hoping to break the ice.

“Same old business as usual; Flora tried and failed to get elected mayor of Grand Dream City. I’ll give her this, she’s determined as hell to get the position.” Risa chimed in. “Now I’ll throw it back to how, how have things been going here? I’m afraid to say that I don’t have all the details yet.”

If this is Flora we’re talking about, her election strategy would be more along the lines of “Vote for me, and I won’t blow you up.”

“It’s a long story, but I’ll try and sum it up as neat as possible. We were going to release our games to the public during the rally, until Krishna and his merry band of assholes declared war on us and everything we stood for. Initially it seemed like a swift but painful end for us, but with the loss of his most important agent, the Divine Powers have crumbled rapidly like a house of cards. And in case you weren’t 100% sure who they were, the Divine Powers are a group of ancient deities who wish to bring salvation as they claim, but we all know that it’s a ruse for them to gain supreme power over all of existence.” Kymmi began explaining.

“Their goals and motivation may be different from their base incarnation, but who cares about that? We’ve got some strawmen to beat up!”

“They’re a bunch of deceitful swine; lying to me about Ame orchestrating the execution of my mother. I’m ashamed to say that I fell for it and joined them momentarily; thankfully I was granted a second chance at redemption, but it shows just how manipulative Krishna is.” Damien added before he suddenly remembered something important. “Oh yeah, we forgot to mention how some of our former allies betrayed us to join the Divine Powers.”

“I see…and was former Xen Boy a part of these traitors?” Risa replied, eyeing the young man suspiciously.

“That’s what Melia thought so at first, until she discovered that the real one was captured by an agent of the Cult of Kosmos, which was how we learned of their existence in the first place. Those sick fucks threatened to have their way with the Angels of Aevium, but were swiftly punished for their vile blasphemy.” Julius answered.

“I wouldn’t worry about those assholes; I doubt they would’ve been as amazing as you are, from what they tell me…” Risa smirked at the young man, his cheeks flushing a fierce red as he turned to look out the window and saw a most troublesome sight.

We get it, your self-insert has a large dick and can make all the girls orgasm ten times a day. Have your fucking wank and get back to typing with both hands!

“S-Shit! Looks like we’ve got company!” He called out, the group turning their attention and saw a sizable swarm of Devil’s Hand bikers, with King Dick and Triple 6 leading the pack.

“Well, well, well. Looks like we’ve got some roadkill to capture. Time to slice and dice them up!” Triple 6 hollered, revving up his twin-bladed chainsaw and waved it frantically in the air. Knowing that it would be a wise idea to take out the hostile bikers, Kymmi brought out the assault rifle she pilfered from the SOL raid and began firing it in bursts, icing a few bikers as their corpses were flung off their bikes and landed on the hard asphalt. With Julius stepping his foot on the gas, the SUV sped off into the distance with the bikers fervently pursuing them, a few of them falling one by one as Kymmi continued picking them off. But unbeknownst to the heroes; Nijisaki and Musashidou were camping on top of a ruined building, aiming their mounted bazooka towards the road ahead of the heroes.

And we have another random assortment of characters in this mess of a chapter, ranging from Danganronpa, to Zero Escape, to Ride to fucking Hell. How can the author not sit back and realize “Yeah…this situation does sound pretty stupid.”

“Heheheh, we’ll blow those fools to smithereens with our rocket launcher.” Nijisaki smirked ominously, his binoculars directed onto the heroes.

“This baby may’ve cost a fortune, but it’ll be worth it if we can defeat some of their most powerful agents with it.” Musashidou chuckled, determining right now to be the most opportune time to fire it. Taking aim, they fired the launcher at the road and smirked as they saw it hurtling towards the heroes, only for said smirk to drop as it soon veered to the right towards the space between the heroes and the bikers, blowing up the road and left a sizable gap to jump.

Look on the plus side, you can get a refund for that hunk of junk and blow the money on cheap hookers.

Seeing this, both King Dick and Triple 6 revved up their engines and were able to jump the gap, alongside some of the lower bikers. The others however, didn’t know how to speed up and fell down the gap and to their deaths. “Uh-oh…that didn’t go to plan.”

“L-Let’s just hope that the others can succeed, that way our failure would get ignored.” Nijisaki chimed in, a look of concern on his face as the two executives quickly fled the area.

“Dirty fuckin’ trick you pulled there, eh. I’ll kill you to death!” King Dick hissed, lighting up a stick of dynamite and threw it at the heroes. However, Damian was able to knock it away with his rifle and sent it back towards the hostile biker. “Aw, shi—” he began, before blowing up into a million bloody pieces.

Damn, we don’t get to see him drown in a bowl full of holy water.

“Shit! Man down, I repeat man down!” Triple 6 spoke into his phone, standing on his two feet as he swung his chainsaw in the air. “I’m gonna flay you alive, motherfuckers!”

“W-What do we do now?” Ren inquired, a confident smile forming on Julius’ face.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea.” He replied, turning to the right and towards a tunnel. The SUV dove through it with Triple 6 continuing his chainsaw dance on his bike, the villain’s eyes widening as he realized that it was too late to save himself. With a sickening thud, his head was torn off his body by the tunnel and rolled down the road, a small trail of blood frightening the bikers as they crashed into the wall and died in the ensuing inferno. “There we go, that’s one nuisance out of the way.”

For fucks sake, how can these bikers lose their shit over a small amount of blood when they were okay with one of their own getting blown to smithereens?!

“Unfortunately, we’re not out of the water just yet…” Risa chimed in, her eyes focusing on a second platoon of Devil’s Hand bikers, lead by Pretty Boy and Caesar himself. But as if things couldn’t get any worse, they were soon joined by a group of jeeps owned by the Knight’s of Hanoi, a sleek Mercedes-Benz following behind the jeeps.

Say what you will about the Knights of Hanoi, at least they know how to arrive in style.

“Ah, this little game has become interesting all of a sudden.” Specter smirked from behind the wheel, as Varis focused on the main objective at hand. Realizing that the situation grew incredibly dire, Julius resorted to ramming his car into the group of bikers, sending their bodies flying with Pretty Boy opting to jump off his bike and land on the front of the SUV. But before he could bring out his knife to shatter the windscreen, Risa quickly snatched a pistol out of the glovebox and fired a few rounds into his head, brain matter flying everywhere as his corpse fell to the road and crumpled into a pile.

“Shit! Pretty Boy!” Caesar cried out in anguish, glaring at the heroes for killing his second-in-command before noticing the incoming swarm of Grove Street gangsters, lead by the Johnson Brothers. He smirked at this, knowing that they’ll kill the insolent anti-Tressa heretics and avenge their fallen comrade. The heroes, noticing the incoming swarm whispered amongst each other before agreeing to whatever radical plan they came up with, as Julius flipped a switch in the SUV to turn it invisible.

What the fuck? I didn’t realize being an independent game studio rewarded you with spy tech out of a James Bond film.

This had caught the villains off-guard, who were going too fast to slow down in time as they crashed into each other, with Caesar screaming as he was sent flying off his motorbike.

“Aw shit, here we go again.” CJ sighed wearily, knowing that either Big Smoke or AI would chew them out again, as he and his brother watched the biker gang leader crash into an overhead sign, his body shattering upon impact as blood and gore sprayed the area. The heroes, having escaped the brutal carnage hi-fived each other upon making it out of there alive.

You can tell that the author did his research since there’s a popular meme in his story.

“Whew! Who would’ve thought we would live to see the next day?” Ren cheered, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Let’s just hope this is the last car chase I partake in, because I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Damien commented, wiping some sweat off his forehead.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” Kymmi quipped.

“Truth be told, I don’t wanna get used to it. Had it not been for this car’s cloaking capabilities we would’ve been goners.” Julius chimed in.

“No need to worry about that could’ve, would’ve, should’ve business; we made it out alive and that’s all that matters. Besides, I’m sure Melia will reward you handsomely for surviving such an ordeal…” Risa snickered, the rest of the car chuckling alongside her as Julius laughed a little hesitantly.

I would insert a witty remark, but I’m at a loss. I swear to god, the author brought up his self-insert’s bedroom skills more often then he had Tayama spout that stupid fucking line about Serra being his prize!

“Well that’s ultimately up to Lady Melia on how I get rewarded for my services, should she deem it necessary.” The young man replied.

“Aw, come now. I’m sure she’ll be most gratefully for escorting me safely; you just need to keep your chin up and hope for the best.” Risa smiled, relaxing in her chair as the SUV continued down the road and towards Starlight Studio’s main headquarters.

Later that day: at the Palace of the Hegemon

AI was glaring at the unsuccessful agents who reported back to him, the group nervously shuffling their feet as they saw the high commander pace up and down the room in a rageful manner. Aside from the agents who partook in the pursuit; a few of them worked behind the scenes to ensure its success, those agents being Redi, Professor Strange and Luigi. They all knew that he was already in a bad mood from Tayama’s failure to secure the Ruby Ring and were not looking forward to his upcoming diatribe.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find it hilarious that LUIGI of all characters worked on some evil scheme with the likes of Professor Hugo Strange and Junko Enoshima by his side.

“So…let me get this straight.” Ai began, in the calm anger that sent fear down all their spines. “You mean to tell me that not only did you lot fail to acquire the target and the intel she gathered on us, but the entirety of the Devil’s Hand was slain during the capture. Am I right?”

“Y-Yes s-sir. W-W tried our b-best, h-honestly.” Luigi stammered in fear, with the high commander sighing one more.

“It wasn’t my fault the hardened bikers pissed themselves over a small amount of blood.”

“Your best…?” He replied, casually eying up the table where the map and wooden figures were placed before pushing them aside in one swift movement. “YOUR BEST WASN’T FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!!”

“M-Master Ai, I can explain; we weren’t expecting Melia to send her best agent to pick up the girl.” Professor Strange made excuses.

“Wasn’t expecting?! Don’t give me that fucking shit; you should all know how the Angel’s hierarchy works by now! First, there’s Melia sitting up-top as you would expect. Then there’s her top three agents; her wife Venam, her lover and devout servant Julius, and her close ally Ren. And then there’s the other Angels just underneath those three. The point is, you should’ve seen this coming, especially since you’re a genius and all!” Ai continued ranting.

I like how it’s outright stated that Venam and Julius get some coochie from Melia, yet Ren gets fuck all. You gotta feel for the guy…

“But sire, we were overwhelmed by the assal—” Nijisaki started.

“Overwhelmed?! You were guarding that damn rocket launcher alongside that lardass over there! And you missed the damn mark, screwing up the one fucking job that you had!” Ai retorted.

“I-I am so dreadfully sorry.” The Chief of Staff apologized profusely.

“Your shitty apologies won’t bring back our fallen comrades! Imbeciles!” Ai ranted, throwing a pair of pens onto the desk.

Wait a minute. A superior angrily ranting at his subordinates for failing their duty, who all stammer in fear as he throws his pens on the table? Fuck me, the author’s ripping off that one scene from Der Untergang; you know the one I’m talking about.

“We need to gather as many agents as we can; once the enemy has crushed the Divine Powers, they’ll be coming for our head next. How are we supposed to build our numbers when we keep losing men? Men that we desperately need if we’re to win this seemingly endless war, a war in which more than our very lives will be lost should the Divine Conspiracy fall. We need all the agents we can muster; and now I’ll have to report this to Lady Tressa, and SHE’S not in the best of moods either.”

“What could have her on edge this very moment?” Varis inquired, with Ai gesturing at the door as Roboppi opened it and chuckled a bound-up Tayama into the room, the crime lord sweating up a storm as the young boy bowed in respect before exiting the room.

I guess this is more of that ‘due punishment’ that the author promised to dish out to Tayama.

“This worthless tosser has failed us for the last fucking time! Not only did he cost us the Ruby Ring, but he also lost a sizable chunk of our army. And word on the street is that the Hunter Association plan on retaking the Yamato Perpetual Reactor; if we lose that then we’ll lose a large chunk of our electricity, forcing us to rely on those Kosmos cultists for power.” He explained, with Tayama squirming in his bindings.

“I-I-I can explain; I needed to sate my sexual desires, and Shelly would be the outlet for me to do so. However, that fuck Roland stopped me from having my way with her, all while flaunting my prize in my face; my fucking prize!” Tayama growled in anger.

“Enough!” Ai roared, slapping Tayama harshly, before grabbing him by his collar. “Now listen closely you disgusting piece of shit; you will defend the Yamato Perpetual Reactor with whatever troops you have left. If it should fall to the enemy, then pray to that bastard Krishna that I don’t find you, because I will be more vicious to you than I was towards Scarecrow. Understand?!”

You really did mix up Ai with DMC Reboot Dante, didn’t you Junpei?

“Y-Yes sir…” Tayama weakly replied, the old tosser on the verge of tears as he shivered on the spot in fear.

“Good!” Ai quickly replied, turning to face the other agents. “As for you lot; do not fail me again in your next mission!” He demanded, the group quickly nodding as they all fled the small meeting room.

A bit shorter than usual, but the next chapter will make up for it by having plenty of racy content to enjoy, including a lemon. So stay tuned for that since it’ll be another great chapter.

Fuck me, there’s more hedonistic sex scenes in the upcoming chapter? I can never catch a break with this guy, can I?

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch reclaimed)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (POW) (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos (POW)
Radomus
Corey (POW)
Heather (POW) (Ruby Ring reclaimed)
Shelly (POW)
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Risa Raider
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Jonathan
Walter
Hallelujah
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth (Defeated)
Baal (Defeated)
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick (K.I.A)
Triple 6 (K.I.A)
Pretty Boy (K.I.A)
Caesar (Ride to Hell) (K.I.A)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Fri Feb 21, 2020 12:32 am

Throughout my time mocking this fic, I’ve come across several issues that stood out to me. Pointless villain introductions, hastily written retcons, utterly stupid plot “twists” and shameless sexual content. Now what if I told you that this chapter has ALL four of those complaints? Yeah, it’s about to get real messy in here…

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.

Warning: There will be a lemon in this chapter


Chapter 54: A sensual strategy

Palace of the Hegemon: Chancellor’s meeting hall

The Chancellor’s Hall, where the high-command of the Divine Conspiracy usually discuss their strategies has been cleared out today. Grandmaster Tressa was busy tiding up the strange device in the center of the room, quickly covering it up with a large white blanket before allowing her elite trio to step inside the room, a suitable audience for her latest weapon against her foes.

“Reporting for duty, Lady Tressa!” Big Smoke saluted his master, with Sartorius and Ai following suit. “What is it you wished to show us today?”

“What I have here is the ultimate solution to our troubles regarding out lack of agents. Behold!” Tressa proudly declared, removing the blanket off the device, revealing itself to be a time machine.

Yeah, she’s going there. The author thought that his underage merchant waifu wasn’t overpowered already and gave her a fucking time machine. The kicker is that she isn’t going to travel back in time to stop herself from getting fired, because that would be the smart thing to do.

“Woah, amazing!” Ai called out in joy, a puzzled expression soon appearing on his face. “But what is it exactly?”

“It appears to be a time machine of sorts; one that can enable us to obtain as many agents as we could ever hope for. I figured this’ll help ease your nerves, sweetheart. Especially since those imbeciles failed you the other day.” The young merchant answered affectionately to her boyfriend.

“Ay-ay, it was the most frustrating experience so far. They had all the resources they needed to pull the mission off, and they failed! What doesn’t help is the fact that Tayama failed to secure the Ruby Ring for our needs; I ordered that worthless tosser to defend the Yamato Perpetual Reactor, but I firmly believe he’ll fail in that as well.” Ai commented, raising a finger to his chin. “Ah well, let’s just hope we can find a new energy source quickly.”

I like how he’s given up on Tayama and the Perpetual Reactor and goes “fuck it, let’s find somewhere else to get our energy.”

“It was surprisingly merciful of you to give him a final chance; I would’ve executed that piece of filth for his failure. Perhaps destiny might swing in our favour once more and hand us a crucial victory.” Sartorius added.

Ah good, you would’ve executed him on the spot. So why didn’t you? Because of your inaction, I now have to suffer through another chapter of Tayama going “muh prize!”

“That reminds me, where’s your little brother? Been a while since I saw him.” Big Smoke inquired.

“He’s busy in his room, pleasuring himself with the Angels of Aevium porn those Kosmos cultists gave us. I’m just thankful that flappy bat hasn’t mauled him over that.” Ai answered curtly, turning towards the time machine and clapped his hands together. “Enough chatter! Let’s get this baby working.”

I like how he brushes his underage brother/fucktoy/whatever getting porn handed to him by a bunch of masked assholes. That said, I want to know where the cultists got their porn from. Perhaps we can come to an…agreement of sorts.

“I couldn’t agree more!” Tressa chimed in, flipping the large switch on the machine; the group of four watching in awe as the machine whirred and glowed on the spot, a powerful light emanating from the large chamber attached to the machine. All of a sudden, the machine began shaking rapidly on the spot for a few moments, stopping as quickly as it began before the door opened and a large blanket of smoke escaped from the pod. Shortly afterwards, a trio of figures emerged from the opened pod and surveyed their new surroundings, looks of confusion and annoyance plastered on their faces. (For those of you wondering, the three agents they just recruited are Flavius, Pothinus and Septimius from Assassin’s Creed: Origins, an amazing game by the way.)

Fuck off! I don’t care if you think Origins is a 10/10 game, you can’t just yank whatever villains you want from that game and have them serve your Villain Sue, especially if they’re the type who scoff at the idea of taking orders from a child.

“Ugh…what is this?! This wasn’t supposed to happen at all!” Flavius protested angrily, kicking the time machine with his foot in annoyance, his gaze soon turning towards Tressa. “Who are you and how did you bring us here?!”

“I am Tressa Colzione; Grandmaster of the Order of Ancients. I had been waiting to call forth one of the great founders of the organisation to aid us in our conquest of the world.” She introduced herself.

Order of what now? I thought you were the damned Divine Conspiracy or whatever!

“Ah, the Order still lives on I see? This is excell—" Pothinus began, only to recoil at the sight of Septimius upchucking some expensive wine, a side-effect from travelling through time. “Oh, not good.”

“Argh…what a waste of perfectly good wine.” Septimius replied somewhat bitterly, wiping his mouth once he was finished.

“O-Order of Ancients? My, my; what’s with the sudden name change?” Ai inquired, with Big Smoke wrapping an arm around the young man.

“It’s about time you learnt the truth; the Divine Conspiracy? It was all a cover to hide our true identities. We are the Order of Ancients; an organisation who seeks control over the world in the name of everlasting peace. The Order had infiltrated the Divine Powers in order to gather likeminded members, and to eradicate a major threat to our organisation. With the Divine Powers on the verge of destruction; all we need to do is for the Divine Conspiracy to disappear, and our friend Tayama will be the perfect scapegoat.” Big Smoke began.

Fuck you. Fuck you and all your stand for; this is utterly pathetic. This is the third time that you retconned your villains to be completely different. Rather than the offshoot of the Divine Powers that you hyped them up to be, you pull some smoke and mirrors act and have them proclaim “Nah, that whole thing was just an act. We’re actually the remnants of some ancient group that existed in Ancient Egypt.” I am so sick and tired of all this pointless faffing about regarding villainous groups, and all for what? To make your damn story deeper than the shallow puddle it was? I’d say that I’m losing my patience with this fic, but I lost it over 30 chapters ago!!

“We will stage our deaths at the hands of him and his Ashura-Kai; the fangame rebels will believe it and deal that pitiful fool the finishing blow. Then they’ll set their eyes on Krishna and those imbecilic Metal Slug fools, enabling us to sow the seeds of order in their shadows. Granted, it goes against the agenda that the Cult of Kosmos have, but they’re disposable pawns in this grand scheme of destiny.” Sartorius continued.

“Now wait just a minute; the plan sounds nice and all but what’s this about fangames?” Flavius inquired, a confused expression on his face.

*sigh* And here we have the scene that the author gets his rocks off to; introducing his villains to the concept of Pokémon Fangames.

“The fangames are the power source of our enemies, far greater than that of the Apple of Eden, and the Staff of Alexander combined. With these games, the Angels of Aevium have managed to create a massive army that follows their every single whim; such power would be better put to use serving the Order of Ancients.” Tressa explained, handing the three Order leaders important documents regarding the Angels. “Here is all the data we gathered on them. Be careful, they’ve caused us an agonising amount of grief.”

“Heheheh, they look pretty cute. Wouldn’t mind havin’ a bit of fun with them, if you get what I mean…” Septimius commented, a lecherous grin forming on his face as Pothinus sighed to himself.

…Coupled with one of them expressing his desire to rape the author’s waifus. For fucks sake, if you’re going to introduce new villains, then can you make their debut a little more original at the very least?

“Septimius, now’s not the time to let your hormones take control of you. Right now, we’ve got to strengthen the Order while our enemies are unaware of our existence.” The fairly old man replied.

“Besides, we’ve already got several people lusting after them, my younger brother included.” Ai added, pointing his thumb back towards the hallway behind him. “So how do we pull off our sudden demise?”

“We arrest the Gotham cronies, slather their hands in blood and have them claim they killed us. Luckily for us, a few of them are allied with the Order; Mr. Freeze, Two-Face, Professor Strange, the Al Ghuls, Deathstroke, Deadshot and the Riddler are all sympathetic to our cause. With a bit of persuasion, we can get them to rat out their comrades and get them arrested, leaving enough evidence to indicate that they betrayed us.” Big Smoke proposed.

You mean to tell me that those were the only Batman villains you wanted in your little group this entire time, making that grandiose breakout scene back then a complete waste of time?!

“Yes, and with the fangame traitors on our side we can recreate their games to be far greater than the enemies’ games, enabling us to harvest the power that the Angels have wielded against us for so long.” Sartorius added, turning to face the newcomers. “All we need to do now, is wait for your approval of the plan.”

“Well our plans in Egypt were shattered by those damned camel-farmers; what other choice have we got?” Flavius replied flippantly.

“My original plan of brainwashing the most powerful leaders of my time with an ancient artifact was a bust, so I’ll seek to humor the delusions of a little girl. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Sure, just point me towards the next skulls to cave in. Been a while since I crushed some weaklings.” Septimius agreed with the plan as well.

“I think my time here will prove to be beneficial; after all it is not everyday that one gets sent through the passage of time.” Pothinus offered his two cents.

“Excellent! I’m glad that we have won your support. Now then, time to put our daring plan into motion.” Tressa chimed happily, powering down her time machine as the group of seven left the meeting room.

Starlight Studios: The same day

“Risa! It’s so good that you’re alive!” Melia smiled, the Archangel of Aevium clasping the hands of her allies as her comrades welcomed their friend to the frontlines. “How was the drive here?”

“Exciting; those Divine Conspiracy chumps tried to ruin our fun, but the escort service you provided me was most satisfactory, in more ways than one.” Risa smirked casually, shooting a quick look at Julius.

I guess she was really worked up over that boring as shit car chase. Eh, to each their own, I guess.

“My lady, Risa comes bearing most troubling news. The Divine Conspiracy is attempting to form an alliance with the Cult of Kosmos. If the alliance were to succeed, then it’ll raise further complications in this ongoing war.” The young man reported, bowing before his master.

“Please, like I’m worried about those losers. They’re all talk and no action, both inside and outside the bedroom. Luckily, I know a certain someone who can perform well in those areas…” Venam chimed in, a light chuckle escaping from her mouth as she saw Julius’ face become flustered with embarrassment.

Oh fuck off! Must you constantly flaunt your self-inserts' sex skills into every chapter he’s in?! Give me a break for once in my fucking life, Junpei!

“Speaking of sexual gratification, we’ve got a new mission to deal with; making our own dakimakuras.” Nim chimed in happily, catching the newcomers off-guard.

“D-Dakimakuras?” Damien inquired, a baffled look on his face.

“Body pillows; the same shit Krishna accuses us of peddling. He cries about us sexualising our females, but how would he react to sexualising the male characters?” Aelita explained the plan, a warm smile on her face. “We’ve already managed to get a couple of our male allies to agree to the plan, all we need is for you three to consent and we can begin.” She continued, gesturing at Damien, Julius and Ren as the latter raised his hand.

Which is why you got so pissed off at “Ren” back then for making his own dakimakuras, as well as make numerous comments about your disapproval over creating sexualized merchandise depicting the characters. You’re all a bunch of lying hypocrites, pulling stupid stunts all for the sake of angering Krishna.

“Uhhh…wasn’t this what you chastised me for back then?” Ren inquired, referring to the time where they found him tied to a tree.

“Well yeah, but that was without our permission. Besides, you weren’t responsible in the end so it’s nothing to worry about.” Saki eased the young man’s worries, clapping her hands together once. “So, who among you is willing to do this favour for us?”

I guess she really wants to see Julius’ ass. Not that I can blame her, since that’s all the damn fic likes to talk about!

“If that’s what you want, then I suppose I’ll do it.” Ren conceded.

“Uh…o-ok, I’ll help!” Damien replied a little hesitantly.

“It’ll be my honor to degrade myself for the sake of Lady Melia.” Julius bowed obediently, earning smiles from the Angels of Aevium.

They must be giving him some really good pussy if he’s willing to degrade himself on a whim like that.

“Thank you all so much! This’ll teach that bigot to humiliate us.” Melia smiled, gesturing at Risa and Kymmi. “As for you two, you can help keep an eye on things to ensure that nothing goes out of hand.”

“Well I’ve always wanted to know how a dakimakura is made, so this’ll be a great learning experience.” Kymmi chimed in, the group making their way through the halls before ending up in a small studio room at the back of the base, with the newcomers spotting Cain, Hardy and Richard chilling out on the large bed in the center of the room.

Seems we have a full roster of victims for this harebrained pillow scheme.

“Oh my, looks like a few more cuties are joining us in our little game? This is gonna be fun.” Cain chimed in happily, watching Ren, Damien and Julius sit on the bed beside them. “I take it you know what we’re doing?”

“Y-Yeah, we’re posing for a set of dakimakuras the Angel’s plan on selling to the public. I’m a little nervous truth be told.” Ren shyly admitted, with Hardy resting his hand on the raven-haired teen’s shoulder.

“Don’t sweat it dude; Richard was just as nervous as you are now, but I managed to reassure the little fella. Besides, Aurora’s keeping an eye on him to ensure that nothing goes wrong.” Hardy reassured his comrade.

Why? What the hell could go wrong in a photo shoot that would require a homicidal teenager with superpowers to look out for?

“F-From what I was told, I didn’t have to partake in any explicit actions, s-so that’s a relief.” Richard added, facing the talented Aevium trainer.

“Well if its not explicit, then I guess it’ll be fairly easy.” Ren replied, as he soon saw the Angel’s get into the small studio room with all the electronic equipment, testing it all out before switching the spotlights on.

“Thank you all for coming today, the photo shoot will now commence. If the rest of you could move aside so Hardy can begin his shoot, that’ll be appreciated.” Melia spoke into the microphone, the young men obeying her request as Hardy shuffled himself on the bed before lying down on it.

I’m seriously sitting through this, aren’t I? I’m wasting my time watching some fangame characters pose for fucking dakimakuras. They aren’t even his waifus, so that’s another disappointment for me!

“Like this?” He inquired, posing casually in his usual outfit, his hands in his jean’s pockets.

“Yep; that’s the perfect pose to begin with. Now hold still…” Venam spoke this time, gesturing at Aelita to get the camera ready as it flashed a few times over the young man. “Great! Now for your provocative position. Our recommendation…”

“Forgive me for cutting you off, but I have an idea of my own.” Hardy offered, stripping himself down until he wore nothing but his band jacket. He then picked up his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder, lying back down on the bed and positioned it so that the body was conveniently covering his crotch. Cain was intrigued by his soon to be brother-in-law’s slender frame, a few lewd thoughts forming in his mind.

Well I’m glad SOMEONE’S enjoying this, because I’m not. Though I do wonder if the author is basing these poses off of existing artwork, or they’re all the product of his twisted imagination.

“Oh my, now I know why my sister loves him so much.” He purred casually, eyeing up the young man as the Angel’s took a few photos of the Reborn Rockstar.

“Impressive initiative, that was a lot better than our initial idea.” Crescent called out, with Hardy getting up and bowed respectfully towards them as the black-haired girl eyed up the list, unaware that Erin had became flustered over the erotic scene. “Next up, Cain!”

“Allow me to give you all a show you won’t forget!” He spoke confidently, lying down on the bed and shot a casual wink at the heroines.

Even if I wanted to, I doubt I’ll be forgetting this anytime soon…

Soon enough, the camera flashed a few times with the Angel’s complimenting him before asking him to strip down for them. Complying with the request, Cain began undressing himself until he was wearing nothing but his skinny jeans and his fishnet vest. From there, he unzipped his jeans and lowered them slightly to expose his vivid purple boxers, while lifting up his vest to show his navel, a flirty look in his eyes. Nodding in approval, the Angel’s took a few photos of the young man, giving him the all clear as they called out for Richard next.

“W-Wish me luck, everyone.” The blonde teen requested, the other men shooting him supportive looks as the young man hopped up onto the bed and laid down on it, a friendly, if uneasy smile on his face. The camera flashed a few times, his innocent pose captured perfectly on camera, with the Angel’s informing him of his nest shoot, comforting him to settle his nerves. A newfound vigor in his heart, Richard began undressing him until he was wearing nothing but his jacket and boxers, a cheeky smile now on his face. Cooing at him, the Angel’s were more than happy to take the shot, the camera flashing a few times. But within a few moments, a sudden flash of light appeared in the electronics room, with Aurora making her way to the spare console and fiddled a few buttons on it.

Good girl Aurora, you end this fucking nightmare right now. I knew there was a reason I liked yo—

“A-Aurora, the shoot hasn’t finish yet…” Kymmi tried to explain, only for the older girl to raise her hand in response.

“I know, but Richard’s shoot is finished, so I’m making a pillow for myself.” She replied, a small smirk on her face as she pressed a bright red button and made her way towards the large printer in the room, where the pillow cover was successfully printed. Waiting a few seconds for it to cool down, Aurora soon picked up the cover and sniffed it, before nuzzling it affectionately. “Now I can tuck you into bed every night…” She cooed under her breath, eyeing up the Angel’s momentarily before warping back out of the room.

Goddamn it Aurora; you had one job, one fucking job and you didn’t even attempt, you didn’t even attempt to do it. See, this is why you’ll always lose the title of best girl to Scarlett!

“Well, that happened—is everything alright, Erin?” Amber commented, before noticing her teammate’s flustered state and checked up on her.

“Y-Yeah, I’m f-fine…” She quietly replied, clasping her hands over her waist as she rubbed her legs together.

Guess we now know who’s getting fucked by the self-insert today.

“In that case, let us move onto our penultimate shoot. Damien, if you would please…” Melia spoke into the microphone, the white-haired teen waiting for Richard to finish redressing himself and leave before making his way to the bed and laid down on it. Soon enough, they took a few photos of the young man and looked over them before requesting him to strip down. Though a little nervous at first, Damien took inspiration from Richard and undressed himself, until he was wearing nothing but a white vest and his scarf, which he proceeded to position so that it was wrapped around his body like a sash and conveniently covered his crotch. Liking what they were seeing, the Angel’s took a few shots and congratulated him, before calling for both Ren and Julius to hop up for the final shoot.

“This is it, I suppose.” Ren commented, wrapping his arm around his friends’ shoulders as Julius did the same.

This is the sort of sombre attitude you’d expect to see at the firing line. Though to be fair, this is an equally painful experience.

“Do not fret, my man. Lady Melia will ensure that this ends quickly, provided that we follow he word.” Julius replied, the duo giving off a friendly vibe as the shots were taken. Once they were done, Julius whispered into Ren’s ear regarding how their provocative shoot would work, the raven-haired teen’s eyes widening in surprise before nodding his head in agreement. Stripping themselves down, both men were soon as naked as the day they were born, with Julius laying Ren down on the bed and began kissing his lips passionately, the young man slowly stroking his friend’s member.

I thought Ren was safe from your advances, Junpei, on accounts of him not being a waifu. You really do want to stick your dick in every fangame character, do you?!

“O-Oh my!” Melia gasped, they eyes of her and her friends glued to the scene as Erin’s breathing began to quicken.

“J-Julius?” Ren broke off the kiss momentarily, confused by the sudden kiss as he saw that both their erect members were pressed up against each other.

“Forgive me for my sudden kiss, but I’ve always been enamoured by you. Your noble sense of duty has drawn me in alongside your dashing looks. Besides, if Lady Melia and Lady Venam can make sweet love, there’s no reason we can’t.” Julius purred sensually into Ren’s ear, the raven-haired teen blushing up a storm before leaning in towards his friend, the duo kissing each other passionately as several camera flashes lit up the room.

From being a bashing target, to a redeemed hero, to becoming an object of the author’s sexual lust. Ren’s gone through quite the journey in this story.

“Amazing, simply amazing. What a way to end our shoot!” Aelita cheered for joy, pumping her fist in the air as she and her friends sported fierce blushes as well, the lilac-haired teen soon directing her attention to Erin, who was on the verge of climaxing. “E-Erin? Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I…I need some time alone, now!” She blurted hastily, quickly running out of the room to her friend’s surprise.

“Something must be on her mind…hey, Jules; you mind checking up on her?” Saki chimed in, facing the young man.

I guess she knows what’s about to come up and is hurrying it up for the sake of ending this shitty chapter.

“As you wish, my lady.” Julius complied, putting on a bathrobe before making his way out of the small studio room.

0000

Walking down the hallway, Julius noticed that the door to Erin’s room was closed firmly. Knocking on it a couple times, he waited for the shaky voice from his friend to grant him access, the young man hoping he could help master.

“Wh-Who’s there…?” Erin called out from beyond the door, stifling a quiet moan.

“It’s Julius, Melia wanted me to check up on you. May I enter your room?” He requested, the sound of shuffling echoed throughout the room before the door opened slightly, indicating that he had gotten her permission. Stepping into her room, the young man closed the door behind him, sitting down on the side of her bed as he noticed that her short black skirt and sleeveless white shirt were all ruffled. “I-Is everything alright?”

Whether she is alright or not, we all know there’s only one cure for her condition…

“Yeah, I-I’m fine…” Erin replied hesitantly, as if she were hiding something.

“So is there anything I can—” Julius began, before being silenced from a sudden hug from Erin, the white-haired maiden resting her head on his chest. “E-Erin?”

“F-Forgive me, but it’s been ages since I…pleasured myself, and that performance with you and Ren reignited my desires once more.” She exclaimed, turning around to rest her back on the young man as she began petting his cheek sensually. “I-If you can sate me tonight, that’ll be much appreciated.”

At last, we finally get to see if all the gushing about Julius’ bedroom skills are true.

“As you wish, I am but a humble servant of the Angels after all.” The young man agreed obediently, his right hand rubbing up and down her right leg, with Erin sighing blissfully as he hugged her firmly with his other arm. Julius then leant in closer to Erin’s face and began applying gently kisses to her cheeks and neck, his moist lips pressing onto her smooth skin as his hand crept up her leg inch by inch. Not wanting to be denied a taste, the white-haired maiden shuffled herself a bit and faced the young man, before kissing him passionately on the lips, their tongues snuggling up against each other. Soon enough, Julius’ fingers found themselves rubbing Erin’s panty-covered crotch, a small damp spot forming on the white undergarment.

Ok, we aren’t immediately thrown with food condiments, so that’s a plus I guess.

“Ahhh! D-Don’t stop!” She demanded, keeping the young man’s hand firmly in place as he continued to stimulate her entrance with his soft fingers, digging under her panties and began prodding and poking her soft pussy. Julius maintained his pace while pleasuring her, his fingers running up and down her lips as his thumb massaged her aroused and moist clit, the young man moving his free hand to Erin’s small-to-average sized breasts and began caressing them gently. The white-haired maiden sighed blissfully, shifting her head slightly so that she could lick and kiss her lover’s soft neck with Julius stifling a moan.

“H-How did you—” The young man inquired, wondering how she found out about a weakness of him.

Hold up. You mean to tell me that this author’s secret fetish, the one that he keeps to himself is getting kissed on the neck? In this day and age where paedophilia, bestiality and incest are becoming the norm, that’s surprisingly tame for a fetish.

“Considering how much you kissed my neck, I figured you would like it in return.” She smiled back at him, opting to lick it slowly a few times. Julius moaned quietly under his breath, his fingers soon burrowing themselves into Erin’s soft pussy, soaking them in her pre-cum as she let out a quick gasp of pleasure. His digits began pumping themselves in and out of her as if they were a machine, spraying her juices everywhere as the young man kept a firm hold of his lover, his other hand moving under her shirt to play with her soft breasts. The white-haired maiden was in a state of pure ecstasy at the moment; her most sensitive areas were being played with affectionately, and at the hands of one of her favourite lovers. His warm touch heated up her body nicely, removing any possible chill that she might’ve had as her body started squirming in the young man’s lap, indicating that she was close to her first orgasm. With a somewhat loud moan, she came all over the young man’s hand, his fingers retracting from her as her essence dripped down from his digits.

“Hmmm…” Julius mused to himself, bringing his hand to his mouth and took a quick lick of her juices. “Quite sweet, if a little salty. I hope you don’t mind it if I have another taste…”

You really are a greedy motherfucker, aren’t you?

“A-Another?” Erin inquired, before understanding what he was going for. Shuffling herself on the bed so that she was sitting up, the young man lied down on the bed and slowly lowered her damp panties, casting them aside before bringing his face closer to her moist pussy and began kissing it softly, a quick giggle escaping from Erin’s lips. Julius knew that all the Angel’s loved it when their most sacred spotted was pleasure with his mouth and tongues, hence why he mastered the art as soon as possible.

Good god, that fucking grammar! See kids, this is why you always type with both hands, otherwise you get shit like this!

His hands gently gripping her legs, the young man moved closer to her damp lips and began licking them slowly, his tongue lapping up any leftover juices from her previous orgasm. “A-Ahhh!” The white-haired maiden moaned in joy over the sensual massage.

“I’m glad I can satisfy you, my lady.” Julius chimed in, resuming his licking as Erin rested her hand on his head to keep it in place. The young man’s slippery tongue continued its duty, stimulating both her lips and her clit as the tingling sensation sent shivers down the maiden’s spine. However, the young man wanted to taste her essence a bit more, opting to burrow his tongue into her sweet pussy as it was soon heated up by his lover’s internal warmth. Erin let out a quick gasp upon feeling this new sensation but welcomed it as she was enamoured by the sensual feeling. Petting the young man’s head to indicate he was doing well, she laid back and allowed the pleasure to consume her, her body on the verge of climaxing once more. Realising that his job was almost done, Julius glided his tongue on her sweet spot, causing Erin to shiver and moan as she came all over the young man’s face, showering him in his reward.

Translation: She pissed all over his face.

What? It literally said that she showered him in his reward. Haven’t you all heard of a golden shower before?


“J-Julius…that was amazing…” Erin panted in exhaustion, slowly undressing herself until she was as naked as they day she was born and laid down on her side. “But there’s still one last task I require you to do…”

“As you wish, Lady Erin.” The young man complied, eyeing up her slender figure as he removed the robe covering his body and moved behind her, gently fingering her moist pussy for a bit while placing a condom over his erect cock before slowly inserting it inside her tight snatch. Erin spent the next minute or so adjusting the firm member inside her before giving him the all clear. Slowly, the young man began pumping his hips back and forth, his member sliding in and out of her sweet pussy as the young maiden moaned in bliss.

“Ah…it’s been too long since I was treated like this.” Erin sighed happily, thoroughly enjoying the stimulating sensation that was coursing through her body. Julius opted to bring her closer so as to embrace her, his hands creeping up her chest as they began to gentle squeeze and play with her breasts once more, his tender fingers playing with her perky, aroused nipples. On top of his intercourse and foreplay, Julius opted to resume his neck kissing, his soft lips pressing up against her skin as he applied a series of passionate kisses to his lover, the young man picking up his pace slowly by surely.

I guess he really wants this neck-kissing kink to be a thing.

The young man’s slow thrusts soon became a lot quicker and more passionate as Erin’s quiet whimpers began loud pants of pleasure as her breathing and heart-rate quickened in response to the increase in intensity. Around five minutes later, the white-haired maiden had her fill of pleasure and was ready to let loose, uttering a primal moan of ecstasy as she came all over the young man’s crotch, with Julius groaning to himself as he came a few seconds afterwards, pulling his member out and watched as her juices stained her bed sheets.

“So was I able to quench your lust?” Julius inquired, with Erin cuddling up to him affectionately.

“Yes, you sated my desires just as I hoped you would. I wouldn’t say no to another night like this in the near future.” She smiled at him, the young man wrapping his arm around her.

You mean to tell me there’s more smut on the horizon?!

“Just make sure to book your appointment as soon as possible, I doubt the other Angels would want to miss out on their favourite plaything.” The young man chuckled, with Erin joining in as the door to her room opened, with Melia peeking her head through the small crack.

“Why am I not surprised that you two did the deed?” Melia smirked playfully at them, causing the duo to become flustered as they quickly covered their naked bodies with the bedsheets. “Ahahahaha! No need to panic, we’ve all seen it before.”

“L-Lady Melia!” Julius exclaimed, wiping a bit of sweat off his forehead. “Do you need me to do something?”

“Not really, I was just curious what you two were up to and lo and behold, my sister was treated to a most wonderful night.” She whimsically replied, eyeing up the flustered Erin.

The revelation that Melia and Erin were sisters came after a pivotal moment in the base game. Here, it’s ceremoniously dumped at the end of a poorly written sex scene. All it serves is a teaser for a threesome between the self-insert, Melia and Erin.

“That and I heard that Astolfo and his friends were intercepting a transmission from a radio station owned by Krishna.”

“Good; we can prevent Krishna from spewing whatever vile propaganda he keeps in that fedora of his.” Erin chimed in, quickly regaining her composure.

“I’ll leave you two to have a good night’s sleep. That way, Julius can regain his stamina should Venam and I require it…” Melia replied, shooting a small smirk at Julius as she closed the door, allowing the duo to lie back on the bed before drifting off into the world of dreams.

Well that was a most lovely chapter for you all, with some foreshadowing for a future lemon I have planned.

Are you fucking kidding me; you already wrote a three-way between you and your waifus! You wrote a damn one-shot for your birthday last year and it had you fucking Melia and Venam in it. When will you be satisfied?!

But with that aside, I have some important news for you all.

Rather than make this fic super long, I figured that I’d break it up into two separate fics; one that deals with the war against Krishna, and one that deals with the Order of Ancients. Speaking of which, did you see that coming? I figured that since the Cult of Kosmos will play a vital role in the next fic, the Order should get a major role as well. It makes sense, when you consider that the Order and Cult were allies for a while, until the latter kicked off the events of AC: Odyssey. So you can expect Chapter 60 of this fic to be its last one, but do not fret, the next fic will be just as, if not more amazing than this one. Catch you all next time!


And here lies the ultimate horror of this story; there’s a fucking sequel to it. As if the original wasn’t bad enough, we are now treated to another fic’s worth of smut, duels and shitty fight scenes. Which deity did I piss off to get tortured with this crap?

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch reclaimed)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (POW) (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos (POW)
Radomus
Corey (POW)
Heather (POW) (Ruby Ring reclaimed)
Shelly (POW)
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Risa Raider
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Jonathan
Walter
Hallelujah
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth (Defeated)
Baal (Defeated)
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy/Order of Ancients:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Flavius
Septimius
Pothinus
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick (K.I.A)
Triple 6 (K.I.A)
Pretty Boy (K.I.A)
Caesar (Ride to Hell) (K.I.A)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Mar 01, 2020 10:17 pm

Since the last three chapters gave us an unholy trifecta of shitty card games, shitty action scenes and shitty lemons, I think it’s about time we get to the final part of this fic’s foundation, shitty comedy! And trust me when I tell you that this chapter’s unfunny, because boy are you all in for a ride…

Since the last chapter was more erotic, I figured I’ll have this one be a little more humorous. Specifically, it’ll have Krishna acting like an AVGN knock-off for the sake of spreading his vile views about the fangames, which is how I imagine all anti-fangame reviewers act in real life. It’ll be a barrel of laughs, so I hope you all enjoy it!

So you’re telling me that in your eyes, anyone who doesn’t like the fangames act like some comically angry gamer who shits all over their games? I don’t know what to say about that.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 55: The Angry Video Game Deity

Meanwhile…

Krishna was pacing frantically up and down inside the small radio station, his mind all over the place as he wondered where he went wrong.

He pulled the short straw, thus dooming himself to become a punching bag for the author to vent over whatever psychological spectre is haunting him today.

These last few weeks had been disastrous for the Divine Powers, between the complete destruction of the Divine Vanguard, and Maitreyas defeat and subsequent loss of the Tokugawa Mandela. Additional pain came from the complete uselessness of the MS Waifu Army, who only had two small bases to their name and a barely functional army. The deity knew that the only way to pull a victory out of this predicament was to shatter the public’s faith and respect for the fangames, but he was unsure on what to do next.

“I don’t understand; I’ve warned people about those shitty fangames for ages now, yet all that’s happening is that MORE people are playing them. Has humanity’s standards really fallen that low that they’ll accept any form of slop that’s gifted to them on a plate?!” Krishna exclaimed to his comrade.

“Humanity has been reduced to a herd of brainless product consumers. They don’t ask questions and merely consume the product presented to them before eagerly awaiting the next product to be shat onto their plates.” Odin chimed in. “It’s all thanks to those infernal Angels and their Mary Sue worship.”

And to think that I could escape that godforsaken “just consume product” meme that people spout all the time. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a clip from The Nerd Crew podcast that people use to mock the growing obsession with media consumption in this day and age. The problem is that the meme is meant to be used on well-known targets like the MCU, yet the Pokémon fangames are just a niche part of the community, hence the meme wouldn’t work on it. And I really want to know how Melia and her crew are contributing to this system, because I sure as hell have no idea.

“Exactly! Maitreya gave up his life to warn the heroes about the Mary Sues, but they opted to stand by them and worship the ground they walk on.” Krishna added. “Those Angels are a most crafty foe; they know they can advertise some shitty product and the braindead masses will gobble it all up. Well enough is enough! I will show the world that these games are a blight upon humanity.”

“In that case, I think I have the perfect plan to help your cause…” Odin called out, typing away on his computer as Krishna poked his head over his shoulder.

Norse Deity and computer are two items that I’d never thought I’d see go together. What a world we live in.

“There’s a person on YouTube known as the Angry Video Game Nerd; his witty and clever reviews of poorly made video games has been well received by the masses. Perhaps if you were to emulate his reviews, then you would reap similar results.”

And here’s your one joke for the entire chapter. I hope you like it, because that’s all you’re getting.

“Odin, you’re a genius! I shall don the role of this angry gamer and save the world from the shitty fangames. Now all I need to do is come up with a name…” Krishna began, brainstorming a series of names until he hit the paydirt. “Ah, I know; the Irate Gamer!”

“Negative; that name has already been taken.” Odin shot the idea down.

“In that case, how about the Pissed Off Angry Gamer?”

“Already taken as well.”

“Oh confound it; why don’t you come up with a name for me then, hmm?” Krishna proposed, as Odin was quickly able to come up with a name.

“I got it; the Angry Video Game Deity.” He suggested.

Geddit? He’s a deity who gets angry over video games. Laugh, damn you!

“Odin, that’s brilliant! You may have saved not only the Divine Powers, but the whole world itself. Our review shall destroy both the fangame addicts and those traitorous vermin!” Krishna jumped for joy, the two deities quickly setting up the scene to begin their review.

0000

Life was going on as usual for the denizens of Tokyo, be they members of the Hunter Association, the MS Loyalist Army, the workers at Starlight Studios, or even agents of the Divine Conspiracy. However, their peaceful rest was soon disturbed by a video being broadcasted to every working television in the city, the four faction’s attention alerted as they saw what looked like Krishna donning the outfit of a stereotypical gamer, including a shirt that poked fun of the conception that gamers hated women and minorities. And standing behind the couch that Krishna was sitting upon was Odin, strumming his Gungnir as if it were an acoustic guitar. As the villains played their new theme song, the audience rolled their eyes over how much of a blatant rip-off it was of the AVGN theme.

Now that’s a mental image worthy of the gods. It tries so hard to be funny, that it comes around to be unintentionally hilarious. It’s like the author desperately needed fuel for his strawman, so he searched up a bunch of gamer stereotypes and slapped them all together. And I love how the Divine Powers were able to broadcast their show to every last television in Japan, all so they can show off Odin playing his sick riffs.

~He’s gonna travel back through time.
To play the shitty games that suck dick.
He’d rather have, an elephant.
Take a steaming hot piss in his mouth.
He’d rather eat, the decaying scrotum.
Of a diseased mutt and down it with rum.

He’s the angriest deity, you’ve ever seen.
He’s the angry Pokémon god.
He’s the angry Mario Zelda god.
He’s the Angry Video Game Deity.

When you turn on your TV.
Make sure you watch our reviews.
He wants to bring you all, his salvation.
Although I’m not sure what he means by that.
His trusty flute will save your soul from damnation.
While his cuss words will destroy fangames.

He’s the angriest deity, you’ve ever seen.
He’s the angry Pokémon god.
He’s the angry Mario Zelda god.
He’s the Angry Video Game Deity.

The Pokémon fangames are the worst things of all time.
Horrible abominations created by YHVH.
They make him so sick; he could puke.
And make him say ‘Gamers, rise up!’
Starlight Studios ripped you off with their shit.
But this god, he won’t forgive them.

Why are the games so hard?
Why is the story so edgy?
These con artists want all your children dead.
They insult the official games.
There’s far too many of them.
Why are all the games, propaganda?

He’s the angriest deity, you’ve ever seen.
The fangames are so bad that he gave up on life.
He’s the angriest, most vengeful god of all time.
He’s the angry Mario Sonic Kirby Metroid Crash Spyro Fire Emblem Tomb Raider Zelda Metal Slug Fallout Pokémon god.
He’s the Angry Video Game Deity~


I’ll admit that I’m slightly impressed over how the author spoofed the entire song, but that’s the only good thing about it. There was no rhyme or reason to the lyrics, it was just ‘FANGAMES BAD!’ for the most part.

“Pokémon is one of, if not the most recognisable franchises in all of gaming. It has everything you could ever want in a video game; a large variety of monsters to collect; amazing graphics and music, some of the most thought-provoking stories of our time, and a competitive multiplayer that defined a generation. Life was perfect for Nintendo, the geniuses who created the legendary franchise. But then, darkness approached; a whole horde of talentless hacks decided to create their own Pokémon games, and they all, absolutely fucking suck! The most notorious of these criminals were Starlight Studios, the LJN of the modern era.

So now they’re just a publishing studio, as opposed to an actual developer? That goes against everything we’ve been told about them!

Today, I will be reviewing all their fangames and explain to you why they all suck the shit vapor from a dingo’s asshole! And to do this, I have with me, the worst compilation of shitty games since Action 52.” Krishna proclaimed, taking out a multi-game cartridge as canned audience laughed played out on screen.

“The first game we’re gonna play today is Pokémon Uranium; I’m telling you this shit’s giving me radiation poisoning. Now the first thing I want to point out is the graphics; they suck the shit out of a goats poophole! Clearly made in a poor attempt to emulate the legendary graphics of Pokémon Platinum, they look garish at best, and abominable at worst. What doesn’t help is the character designs; they’re the most bargain bin designs that I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing. Like, look at this tool; his hairstyle’s a fucking mess! Guess we know who the next Yugioh protagonist will be.”

*Insert canned laughter here*

This canned laughter is probably where the author is telling his readers to laugh. Oh they’re laughing alright, but not in the way you want them to.

“Uranium is one of those awful games, who feel that they need to add their super special Pokémon that shit all over the official Pokémon. With inflated base stat totals, overpowered moves that are unique to them, and even shitty “evolutions” of beloved canon mons like Dunsparce and Primeape, it’s clear that they’re nothing more than parasitic leeches. And don’t even get me started on the story; it’s a cringeworthy edgefest that throws in nuclear Armageddon as if it were a shitty Fallout ripoff. Well if the devs want their game to be like Fallout so badly, then hopefully Caesar’s Legion will enslave all the bitches who programmed this shit.

If there really was a Pokémon/Fallout crossover, then nobody would be going after the Bug Pokémon as they’ll become the spawn of Satan. New Vegas already gave me more than enough bugs to deal with, thank you very much.

The game is also impossible to beat; the fakemons are so overpowered and the enemy uses cheap strategies that grant their monsters a series of unfair boosts. I couldn’t even beat the first fucking gym battle, it’s that hard. Overall, the game has the value of rotten shark shit, and should be avoided at all cost.”

That just means you suck, Krishna. I was able to beat the first damn gym pretty easily.

“Alright next game; oh god, Pokémon Solar Light/Lunar Dark. As if it wasn’t obvious that these hacks were ripping off Pokémon, they opted to steal the title from the vastly superior Sun and Moon. This is one of the most milquetoast pieces of shit I’ve ever played; with it’s barebones story, shitty one-note characters and shitty grammar to add the cherry to this shit sundae. The graphics are absolute donkey dick, with all the new Pokémon looking like the most uninspired shit of all time. Mind you, Uranium’s Pokémon designs were mule piss, but at least they made an attempt. But it’s not just the art they fail in; the music sounds like a warthog painfully farting in your ear, with your head getting soaked in its shit-stained blood.

This is what happens when you assume that people only watch the AVGN for scat-based jokes. You end up getting inspired to create garbage like this.

And let me tell you all about the “story”; the story is your generic shit about some dweeb taking on the league to impress some generic waifu bitch who’s lusted after by your rival, who is pathetic beta-male soy cuck. And the villainous teams, because there’s two of them, go on about Order and Chaos and hope to see their ideal world become true. Because it’s not enough that these losers rip off Pokémon, but now they gotta do it to Shin Megami as well!

Just be glad they didn’t add your dumb ass to the game, otherwise the devs would’ve been able to accurately depict how much you suck.

The rival’s also a piss stain; he’s just some generic Gary Oak wannabe who sucks at life and should kill himself. Bottom line; the game’s worse than week old possum jizz.”

*Insert canned laughter here*

“Ok, that’s two shitty games down, now to—oh no, no, no, no, no! Not this thing; it is literally the worst fucking game I have ever played; Pokémon Clover! It’s some shitty 4Chan game who’s the sister bitch to that godawful Pokémon Sage, which by the way, fucking sucks eggs. Both games have shitty monster designs, shitty character designs, though Clover is worse because it has that stupid cum sock Kymmi in it.

The Clover devs knew what they were doing when they made the Pokémon designs for the game, and I’ll leave it at that.

The game is too fucking difficult, with so many cheap deaths that it’s impossible to beat the second gym leader; the grind is so insane that I had to gen in Rare Candies to beat her; but guess what? The fucking hacks that made this game made it so that if you use Rare Candies and defeat the Elite 4, you get arrested by the police and end up losing your save data.

That’s not a flaw, that’s a joke on behalf of the developers. They knew that the game would be hard, so they added a glaring middle finger to those who attempt to cheat their way to the end.

It’s the worst fucking game I’ve ever played; I’d rather inhale the boiling hot scat from a salamander’s asshole than play this dump of a game!”

“Now that we’ve got that shit stain destroyed, let’s move onto another shitty game; Pokémon Insurgence. It is the most edgy piece of centrist sobby-cock propaganda I’ve ever seen; there’s all these shitty cults running around yet you can’t even join them. What’s the point of all these shitty cults if you can’t join them? Not like I wanted to, I’d rather join the Cult of Kosmos that any of these losers.”

Why, so you can go on some rape-spree? Also, what the hell is sobby-cock propaganda?

*Insert canned laughter here*

“But wait, there’s more. They also decided to rip the Pokémon Trading Card Game off by stealing Delta Pokémon and turned them into bullshit, overpowered beat sticks with shitty art. The music also sucks diarrhea out of a dog’s bunghole; it’s generic sloppy shit made with all the care I put into making a core dump on my toilet. And the game? It just goes on, and on, and on; it’s a fucking endurance test! What doesn’t help is that all the towns are glorified pit stops that have no life or effort put into them whatsoever. Compare that to all the towns and cities in Pokémon X and Y; all of them had some unique feature about them that made them stand out. And like with all these games, the story fucking sucks. It’s a rip off of Solar Light/Lunar Dark where you try and impress some waifu bitch to get one over your shitty soyboy rival.

One more soy reference, and you’ll becomes the next premium unit in Metal Slug Attack. I know you can do it.

The inexhaustible fountain of ideas from these developers is a marvel to behold. Overall, it’s not worth wiping my cum-coated cock on.”

“Alright, we’re halfway done, but now were digging through the shit; Pokémon Desolation. Oh god, the amount of edge oozing from this game is ridiculous. Between your boat randomly blowing up, your slutty friends getting attacked by rapist cannibal tribals, characters bleeding from their eyes and not one, but TWO cities going up in flames, it’s evident that they stopped giving a shit about writing a good story.

Much like this author did around 30+ chapters ago.

And my comment about the slutty friends is true; they’re all nothing more than cum socks for the players to fuck as they establish their own harems, especially that cheap whore Scarlett; god what a mess she is.

Fuck you, she’s perfect! I won’t let you slander her name like that.

And like with all these shitty games; it’s too fucking difficult; how am I supposed to defeat these overpowered gym leaders with the shitty Pokémon I get stuck with. It’s like these fascist developers are alright with oppressing the masses if it means making their dream shit game a reality. Overall, fuck Desolation; it sucks the smegma off a chimpanzee’s cockhead.”

“Next shitty game on our agenda. Ah well, well, well; Pokémon Reborn. This is the genesis of the shitty fangames and their shitty propaganda.

A little later to the party, but what is the exact order on when Krishna rants about these games? I would’ve expected Reborn to be the first one, given that it is the most recognisable of the bunch.

With an edgy story like no other, filled with drug use, child rape, terrorist attacks and so much blood and swearing, it’s a cocktail of various farmyard excrement. The game is also impossible to defeat; the odds are stacked against you so much that it’s unfair. Between your resources being limited to shit tier Pokémon, a lack of funds and supplies, and you’re up against gym leaders with fields that give them too many unfair boosts. Not to mention that the story is complete diarrhea; it’s nothing more than a pathetic attempt by the developers to express their unsubtle feminist propaganda all while shitting on the official games. And to do such a thing to the beloved Nintendo should be punishable by death. Fuck Reborn and fuck it’s sister games to hell!”

You remember back when Krishna made his first rant on the fangames, how he brought up a valid point on the developers limiting your strategies on how to defeat the Gym Leaders for the sake of adding to the challenge? Well say goodbye to that as he starts ranting about feminist propaganda, completing the transformation into a comically evil strawman!

“Alright, penultimate game, and it’s Pokémon Full Moon. This is the most weepiest shit I have ever seen in my life; the graphics are complete doo-doo; the gameplay is too fucking easy with how many broken legendary Pokémon they give you, the music is an atrocity to hear and the story is so fucking pathetic that it makes me vomit. It’s nothing more than a load of shitty high-school romance clichés with an unlikable Mary Sue for the main protagonist. It fails to be a compelling story, much like how it fails to be a good game. I’d talk more about it, but it’s not even worth my piss; it’s that pathetic.”

This entire chapter isn’t worth my piss, yet I persevere for the sake of the readers.

“Alright, one last game, and it’s the worst fucking one of them all; Pokémon Rejuvenation! This fucking thing is an insult to me and to humanity; the gameplay and story suck like with Reborn; it’s nothing more than shitty feminist propaganda! But the worst thing about this fucking game are the motherfucking Angels of Aevium; this collection of skanks and sluts have been opposing my glorious salvation, tempting weak-minded with their slutty bodies. I want them all to suffer pain and humiliation for opposing my goals and dreams, which is why I’ll be taking out this game and doing the world a favour by showing you all how fucking shitty this game and its fucking Angels are! I will—” Krishna began ranting, only for the studio wall to come crashing down as Astolfo and his gang confronted the two sinister deities.

I knew it was time for some guest star to appear and beat the shit out of the reviewer, that’s how these online reviews tend to go.

“Krishna! Your shitty review ends here, right now!” Astolfo declared, pointing his sword at his sworn nemesis.

“Fangame addicts! You will pay for indoctrinating young children into your evil cult!” Odin snarled at the heroes, pointing his spear at them.

“Ha! Don’t go throwing stones in glass houses, hypocrite!” Blair retorted, causing the Norse deity to growl under his breath in anger.

“Well it doesn’t matter; I will humiliate Starlight Studios for good by taking a massive diarrhea on this shitty game!” Krishna retorted, waggling the multi-game cartridge in his hand.

“You will not take a diarrhea on that game.” Chevalier called out, with Krishna chuckled at the young man.

I like how casually Chevalier told him not to shit all over his video game. Even when confronting the enemy, he’s polite about it.

“Hahahahaha, but that’s where you’re wrong! As we’re speaking, the month-old baked beans I ate are tearing up my intestines to create a monster dump. You’ll never—” The deity began, only for Sothe to suckerpunch the chump, snatching the game away as he ran back to his allies.

“Less talking next time, you were so open to attack.” Sothe smugly replied, angering the deities.

“Listen here, you deadbeat punks. You will hand that game back to us, or we’ll kill you!” Odin threatened the group.

You could’ve killed them ages ago, but you were too stupid to do so.

“Hah! Do you really think we’re afraid of you anymore? We’ve kicked your ass so many times that it has grown old by this point. Now if you could do us all a favour and go die in a hole, that’ll be appreciated.” Boudica requested, with Krishna narrowing his eyes at the redhead.

As much as I want them to do that, there’s still four chapters left of this shit, so it’s not gonna happen.

“Go die in a hole? You fangame addicts really are beyond my salvation. I try and try to save you, but all you do is cling onto your shitty games as if they were ambrosia.” Krishna began, a smirk forming on his face as he saw a whole crowd of Divine Powers supporters walk up to the heroes. “And it seems my followers agree with me. Now, kill these worthless junkies!”

“No!” Someone from within the crowd called out, a mask of rage forming on Krishna’s face.

“Fucking excuse me?! I order you to destroy these savages!” He screeched at them.

“We don’t want to take orders from some misogynistic bully anymore. You promised us a better future, but you used us to wage a war against some harmless fangames, all because they damaged your fragile ego. Well enough is enough! I’m going to apologise to the good folk at Starlight Studios for being foolish enough to join your shitty little hate group!” Someone else retorted, the heroes looking on in awe as they knew that his former followers had seen the light.

Thus the author saved the unenlightened people from their brainwashers, earning himself a place in Pokémon fangame heaven where he spends his nights fucking all of his waifus while the others watch with lust in their eyes.

“Y-You mongoloids! How dare you betray your master for these shitty fangames! You will be denied salvation and endure a hellish existence for all eternity!” Odin ranted, pointing his Gungnir at them, but the reformed supporters were no longer intimidated by his display. “Th-This can’t be!!”

“The game’s over, chumps. Your followers have seen you for the bigots that you truly are, cowardly taking potshots at the most amazing games of all time for the sake of protecting your fragile egos. I’d call you Sword & Shield drones, but I’m pretty sure Mario and his goons would go about it in a more calculated way, than you Beavis and Butthead knock-offs. Now why don’t you do the world a favour and kill yourselves? No one will miss you or your shitty little group.” Micaiah retorted smugly at the villains, whose faces began contorting in pure rage before opting to flee back to Tsukiji Kongangi, the crowd applauding the heroes like crazy.

And what better way to end that ‘confrontation’ than having Micaiah spout more sanctimonious bullshit?

“That’ll teach those assholes to spew their bile onto the world!”

“Down with the Divine Powers! All hail Starlight Studios!”

“We appreciate your applause, but your efforts could be better used to fixing up all the damage caused by the Divine Powers in their infantile crusade.” Roland suggested to the crowd.

“Y-You’re right. We still need to atone for our sins; restoring all of Japan to her former glory will be an ideal start.” A young lady in the crowd spoke softly, the large group dispersing to begin restoration efforts as soon as possible.

“Well that was a success; we made Krishna lose face in front of his followers and exposed him for the bigot that he is. I’d say we did a damn good job out there.” Astolfo beamed to his group, before his PDA began vibrating in his pocket. Picking it up, he held it to his ear and began replying with a few ‘yeahs’ and ‘uh-huhs’ before putting it away. “Nikita want’s me to help her with another mission. If you could report our success to Ame, that’ll be sweet.”

“We can do that for you.” Micaiah smiled, watching the pinkette run towards his next destination as she waved farewell at him. “Now then, how many of you want to be that he’ll get his dick wet at the end of the mission?”

Oh fuck you! I’m not in the mood for another lemon, especially since the last one was fucking horrible.

“It’s Astolfo, I don’t think his dick’s ever been wet.” Boudica replied, an amused smile on her face.

“Well at least we know where Roland got his lusty personality from…” Sothe shot a smirk at his teammate.

“A-Ah yes…th-that was all in the p-past.” Roland stammered, his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment before clearing his throat soon afterwards. “Anyway, we better do what he asked to and report our success.” He continued, the heroes nodding in approval before heading back to base.

Palace of the Hegemon: Conference room

Most of the agents had already began planning their “deaths” and relocated their supplies to their secret bases offshore, hoping that the heroes would be too busy with the Divine Powers to notice their gambit. In the conference room, Tressa and several of her most trusted lieutenants had watched Krishna’s review and resisted the urge to roll their eyes from how terrible it was.

Now that we’ve had the heroes’ shit on Krishna’s review, let’s have the other villains shit on it as well. That’s a worthwhile use of bandwidth, am I right?

“So you mean to tell me that the Order was once under the thumb of this buffoon? And that he didn’t immediately crash it into the ground?” Flavius inquired incredulously.

“Yes, unfortunately. I guess his bigotry must’ve rubbed off onto Lekain, which explains a lot more than it should. In any case, I am thankful that he didn’t discover our secret, or otherwise we would’ve been fucked.” Tressa commented. “That idiot would’ve destroyed the fangames as opposed to using their power to establish complete dominion over the world, all because the Angels had upset his fragile ego.”

Translation: Krishna asked Melia out to the high school prom, but was rejected.

“A fragile ego is often present in the hearts of all these cult leaders. It wouldn’t surprise me if the leader of the Cult of Kosmos was also a thin-skinned crybaby. Once those fools have outlived their usefulness, then we can kill them.” Big Smoke chimed in.

“The Cult of Kosmos has always been a problem for the Order; their chaotic way of dealing with an issue goes against our idea for a peaceful world. Perhaps we should put our allies in Persia on standby in the even that the Cult turns on us.” Pothinus suggested.

No, no. We do not need more assholes injected to this fic. It’s near the damn end, so let it die in peace.

“Fine by me; I never liked all the creepy looks those cultists gave my little brother. It’s like the only thing they think with is their dick.

A trait shared by the author.

All that aside, we need to build up our army as soon as possible in order to deal with both the Hunters and the Loyalists; both of them are far stronger than I expected…” Ai pointed out, whimsically shrugging his shoulders.

“An army? Hahahahaha, I have the perfect army for you; my Gabiniani is more than capable of crushing the enemy; especially with the new weapons that those bigwigs from KaibaCorp were able to procure for us.” Septimius chuckled boldly, crossing his arms. “Thanks to Krishna’s stupidity, we can claim all his disillusioned followers to ourselves for additional firepower.”

“Agreed; one cannot underestimate the power of the people. With them on our side, our victory will be inevitable.” Sartorius replied, his phone buzzing as he picked it up and listened to the speaker on the other side. Soon enough, he concluded the call and put the phone away. “That was the Riddler informing us that the trap has been set. Now all we need to do is wait for our foes to spring it and hide in the shadows once more.”

“Indeed; once we make our glorious return, the whole world shall respect and bow before the Order of Ancients!” Tressa declared, laughing maniacally over her great plan.

And in comic book villain style, this chapter comes to a close. The authors notes state what I’ve already said about this chapter; that it was an infantile take-that against the people who don’t like his blonde waifu. I’d hope for the next chapter to be better, but I won’t be expecting any swan songs from this pile of dogshit.

The end draws near, but it’ll be a fantastic bang that has a whole lot of content to enjoy. Regarding the “review” in the chapter, I myself have nothing against the AVGN or his co-workers, but I do have an axe to grind against those who mindlessly hate Melia and the fangames, hence why I depicted Krishna as a raving lunatic. Anyway, the next chapter will have a MS Waifu beatdown and even a nice lemon, so that’ll be worth waiting for.

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah (W.I.A)
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community/Starlight Studios:
Ame
Kymmi
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet reclaimed)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring reclaimed)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch reclaimed)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (POW) (Amethyst Pendant reclaimed)
Noel/Nomos (POW)
Radomus
Corey (POW)
Heather (POW) (Ruby Ring reclaimed)
Shelly (POW)
Dr. Connal
Julius (Rejuvenation MC)
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Ren
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Risa Raider
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Richard
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora
Damien

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Chloe
Perche
Ami
Ulala
Marco
Tarma
Eri
Fio
Grazia
Loretta
Norah
Odette
Annette
Nowan

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins
Flynn
Isabeau
Jonathan
Walter
Hallelujah
Commissioner Gordon

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Gaston (K.I.A)

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer

Plasma Tech:
Ghetsis Harmonia
N/Natural Harmonia Gropius
Anthea
Concordia

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya (Defeated)
Zhong Kui (Defeated)
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki (Defeated)
Quetzalcoatl (Defeated)
Seth (Defeated)
Baal (Defeated)
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella (K.I.A)
Aisha
Mira
Aileen
Reika
HMT (K.I.A)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Julia (MS) (K.I.A)
Esther (K.I.A)

The Divine Conspiracy/Order of Ancients:
Tressa Colzione/The Grandmaster
AI (Human form)
Roboppi (Human form)
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Flavius
Septimius
Pothinus
Shesha
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Gansley
Crump
Johnson
Nezbitt
Leicther
Sartorius Kumar
Varis
Specter
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Abe (Defeated)
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Sweet Johnson
Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson
Niko Bellic
Roman Bellic
Johnny Klebitz (P.O.W)
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Luigi (Chief of Staff of Nintendo)
Wario (Head of the Marketing Team of Nintendo)
Waluigi (Head of the Development Team of Nintendo)
Antasma
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Charles zi Britannia
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Anvil (K.I.A)
Meathook (K.I.A)
Colt (K.I.A)
Greasy Steve (K.I.A)
King Dick (K.I.A)
Triple 6 (K.I.A)
Pretty Boy (K.I.A)
Caesar (Ride to Hell) (K.I.A)
Julius (Fire Emblem)
Ishtar (Fire Emblem)
Junko Enoshima
Yasuke Matsuda
Mukuro Ikusaba
Nagito Komaeda
Yuuto Akimaya (K.I.A)
Jaern
Zenith
Persephone
Reukra
Taen
Professor Maple (K.I.A)
Lin
Solaris
Sirius
Taka
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved (P.O.W)
Geara
Zetta
Professor Jenner
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Brite
Gloria
Scarlet
Marcus
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius (K.I.A)
Lavia (K.I.A)
Baron (K.I.A)
Connor
Leon
Texan (K.I.A)
The Joker
Harley Quinn
The Riddler
Two-Face (Condemned)
Bane (Arrested)
Mr. Freeze
The Penguin (Condemned)
Mr. Zsasz (Condemned)
Clayface (Condemned)
Killer Croc
Deathstroke
Deadshot
Firefly (K.I.A)
The Electrocutioner (K.I.A)
Shiva (Condemned)
Maxie Zeus (K.I.A)
The Mad Hatter (Arrested)
The Ratcatcher (Arrested)
Hush (K.I.A)
Scarface (Condemned)
The Ventriloquist (Condemned)
Killer Moth (Arrested)
Scarecrow (K.I.A)
Black Mask (K.I.A)
Prometheus (K.I.A)
The Great White Shark (K.I.A)
The Calendar Man (Arrested)
Ra’s al Ghul
Talia al Ghul
Poison Ivy
Professor Strange (Condemned)

The Freedom Cult:
Dagda
Nanashi
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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