New Spy

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GorillaGamer
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Re: New Spy

Post by GorillaGamer » Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:41 am

I was checking to see if his Futurama fic had updated, and what I found made my lungs cramp up from all the laughing I did.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12930883/1 ... yer-of-men

The author's writing a fic where Fem-Naruto goes on a quest to eradicate mankind (The fic states that men and women are different races.). Normally I'd say he's pandering to the Tumblr crowd, but this is probably to ensure that Sean has no more competition to deal with. I'm not going to mock it, but I figured I'd let you know in case you needed a quick laugh.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:44 am

GorillaGamer wrote:
Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:41 am
I was checking to see if his Futurama fic had updated, and what I found made my lungs cramp up from all the laughing I did.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12930883/1 ... yer-of-men

The author's writing a fic where Fem-Naruto goes on a quest to eradicate mankind (The fic states that men and women are different races.). Normally I'd say he's pandering to the Tumblr crowd, but this is probably to ensure that Sean has no more competition to deal with. I'm not going to mock it, but I figured I'd let you know in case you needed a quick laugh.
Laugh I did, but mostly at the pathetic example the author decides to lead his fanfics by. Nothing but excuses for petty bashing and crap sex scenes. A cursory glance and word-search left me believing that the fanfic doesn't even involve Sean in it, which is the greatest surprise. It seems in the fit of separating two entire biological sexes from each other through extermination, he's simply appeased in occasionally giving his genderbent Naruto a dick to satisfy his fantasies. The Scandinavian proverb 'You don't need to cross the river to get water' comes to mind.

Anyway, the author promised some originality, saying this chapter would focus on this Michael Kree characters, the most detached character from this entire story as of yet. I'm ready to be disappointed by the author doing hardly any such thing while excusing more broads to be dumped into his imaginary mansion. Here's Chapter 23, Las Vegas.

Chapter 23 Las Vegas

What happens in Vegas stays on fanfiction.net.

Carmen Gabriella and Stella had excited expressions on their faces. Why you ask?

The author allowed them to exist in this fanfic again?

Well the Strip club that Sean paid to be built would be finished in a few days and soon they could act as wild as they want with other women since other then Sean being allowed in the strip club it was for women only.

Just hit up Craigslist, you dumbasses.

"You three sure are excited." Sean said entering the kitchen in only his boxers and got something to drink from the fridge.

"How can we not? The club is almost finished." Carmen said with a smirk.

And already you’ve made the prior, opening paragraph irrelevant, author. I’m glad you enjoyed it during kindergarten, but it’s ‘show don’t tell’, not ‘show and tell’!

"Oh yeah I almost forgot about that." Sean said before they heard Bridget and Izzy laughing like crazy and looked outside and Sean smirked seeing them on the fly boards he bought. (I swear to god those look awesome)

Okay, if you aren’t even going to give a story anymore, you might as well stop, author. No one came here to listen to you prattling on how you’d want a water jet-pack for your feet. This tribute to misogyny is already endless wish-fulfillment, but you’ve decided to pick the mundane to fantasize about at this rate, when you’re already breaking any reasonable hope of what else you want. All the money, a harem, immortality, the list goes on. This is supposed to be a Totally Spies! fanfic, a universe in which laser lipsticks and anti-gravity rings are a thing, and you bore us with doling out topical sports equipment to your imaginary flesh lights. What’s next, a Segway?!

"Wow when did we get those?" Gabriella asked.

"I guess Today since I bought them last week." Sean said.

Later

"Flyboarding? Something new everyday I guess." Sam said with a grin as the five spies walked the school halls.

"Tempted to try it?" Sean asked.

Are you going to have Sean fuck someone on one or what, since you keep diddling yourself over this insignificant fantasy addition, author?

"Maybe when we get back." Sam said before they got sucked into the locker.

"Really!" Sean yelled before they landed on the couch at WOOHP.

"Hello Spies." Jerry said.

"What now?" Sean asked.

My that’s mighty restrained of you, Sean. No cursing, insults or even notes of ticked off impatience. Did the author notify you that this wasn’t a canon scene or something?

"Ever since the incident when you were kidnapped on your mission to protect queen Tassara WOOHP has been investigating more and more about this Micheal Kree however though theres no information about his existence whats so ever." Jerry said.

That’s a funny coincidence, because that’s the same amount indicating Tassara existing outside of the chapter where the author claimed her.

"Maybe it's a fake name." Donna said.

And Sean Ashburn Krueger sounds legit to you?!

"Thats what I believe as well luckily though there has been a tip on his location in Las Vegas. I want the five of you to go to Vegas and investigate what information you can find on him and his plans." Jerry said.

"I always wanted to go to Vegas." Sean said.

Later

"Welcome to Las Vegas the city of gambling your kids college funds and strippers." Sean said before Sam hit him upside the head making him chuckle.

What exactly makes you the person meant to say that, immigrant?

"Don't be rude." Sam said with a grin. "You don't want to scare off a new harem sister of ours." Sam said waging her trigger finger making him chuckle more.

"Alright lets get this mission done then we can explore a little. The Tip said he was at the Palazzo Hotel using large amounts of cash to stay there." Sean said as they went to the hotel.

As soon as they got there the climbed the building till the got to the hotel room where Kree would be staying and found three armed men in the room and Sean broke in and fired his ICERS at them knocking them out.

How riveting, and you might as well be in the middle of taking out the body guards of a foreign dignitary. How about doing actual spy work for once?

"Ok cost is clear." Sean said as the girls entered the room.

"Lets see what we can find." Sam said accessing the computers that were in the room. "Huh thats odd I cant seem to access Micheal's file on the computers it needs a special password to access it but I can still transfer the file to WOOHP." Sam said.

Have you tried turning the computers off and on again?

"This guy has a lot of plans and projects here. Something about a place called Outworld wherever that is." Donna said.(You know where that is^^)

Yeah. In the corner, crying and waiting for you to finish it.

"Theres no files on you here." Alex said to Sean.

"He must have those files on what he wants with me at his main base." Sean said.

Because what else than an encrypted file on the villain, which the author can decide to let you read once he finishes making up shit about this plot, were you expecting?

"Wherever that is its not here." Sam said transferring the last of the files to WOOHP.

"I don't get it the tip said he'd be here." Sean said.

Well, evidently he was, Sean. Even you don’t bother sticking around a room longer than for the purpose of fucking in it.

"Oh I was." A male voice said from the computer that Clover was on who jumped away in fright. "I gave you that tip to give you a taste of what the world will soon become in the years that follow and you will help me with that young spartan." Micheal said on the computer.

”Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as Father and King of Sparta’s son.”

"And why would I do that?" Sean asked with a frown.

"You already know that the experiment was a success thats why you went back to Sparta to see the true results since you got curious as to why something from 11 years ago came back up. Shame the man still isn't around I'm sure he would love to see how far his work has come."

I’m sure he would love to at least have his name remembered from his work, but hey, the less you have to think about while jerking off the better, right, author?

Micheal said before the computer shut down.

"What does he mean by the experiment succeeding?" Alex asked Sean with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Look I went back to Sparta just to visit home. Yes I was curious to see if the experiment did work but needed time to develop inside me. I didn't say anything because I wanted this to be a surprise since the blood can be transferred into anyone no matter the blood type giving immortal life." Sean said making them widen their eyes in shock.

I fucking called it. And this must have been delivered to you very expediently between the minutes it took for your scientist to research that, too!!

"So you mean we could never age or day from age?" Sam asked.

Who the fuck misspells ‘die’ like this?

"Not only that but the experiment also had a few side effects such as immunity to diseases both natural and human made. Intelligence increased by 25 and unlimited stamina. However though I cant have this information out in public ears. Not yet since theres one problem with all of this." Sean said confusing them except Sam.

"Problem whats the problem with never again or dying?" Clover asked.

You are afflicted with dyslexic grammar and it’s incredibly contagious.

"The world would overpopulate thats the problem." Sam said.

"Exactly." Sean said.

That’s coming from the man prepping to have a minimum of 453 children in the future.

"Wow thats a lot to take in but..." Alex said before placing her hand on his groin. "I like the idea of internal sex."

Should I brace myself for unbirthing next, since your lackluster grasp of English has already added vore to the sex scenes, author?

Alex said making him chuckle before kissing her.

"So do I plus when the blood samples are ready the chances are that your mothers will de age to the mid 20's." Sean said.

Does the wish-fulfillment juice in your veins cover their tits in sprinkles too, while you are at it?

"Oh even better." Clover said.

"Looks like we've got all we could from here. So who's up for gathering some potential lovers?" Donna asked getting smirks from the others.

Later

Sean and the girls entered a strip club in expensive clothes. The bouncer up front had been tricked into thinking they were all over 18 years old due to the fake ID's Sean made for them.

Because that's something he can do, too. Sure, why not? How vapid do you have to be to keep pretending this world won't simply bend over backwards at Sean’s every whim, author?

"Mmmm None of these girls are appealing enough." Clover said.

Says the girl who’s expected to share harem space with Meg Griffin.

"We've only been here for a few minutes so chill." Sean said

"Can someone please get this fat bitch off the stage?" Donna said to them making them laugh.

What an appealing characterization you are forging for Donna, author. I see why she hangs out with Sean.

"Don't be mean." Sean said to her.

"Well I'm sorry but she's holding up the others." Donna said.

"Relax the wait will be worth it." Sean said as some non alcoholic drinks came their way by a topless waiter. "Thank you." Sean said giving her a few hundred dollars which she smiled and thanked him for before walking away.

Well, you paid a lot in cash, and always wanted to see Vegas. Are we sure you’re not Michael Kree, Sean?

"Well that was nice." Alex said.

"I know these kind of clubs like the mountains in Greece they don't pay very good so at least this way she gets some extra cash." Sean said.

What the fuck does the mountains of Greece have to do with anything, you mouth-breather? The only thing worth of note is the fact that your pretend innocent good guy façade is crumbling by admitting strip clubs is your second nature.

"Get off the Stage!" One of the guys in the club said.

"Finally someone someone agrees with me." Donna said making Sean chuckle before pinching her ass making her yelp quietly before smirking at him.

"Fine be that way asshole!" The fat lady said.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the girl to tickle your pickle Heather!"

Hey, what happened to the line in Showgirls 1995 exactly before that one, author? “Know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat? A woman!” They sound like words after your own dick.

The mic speaker said as a girl with Blond hair and grey eyes came out in a red see through nightgown and had a black bra and black thong.

"Whoa." Sean said taken back by her beauty.

Not fat, we get it, just don’t have the author kill anyone else for offending his erection.

"Ding Ding Ding we have a winer." Donna said making him the girls laugh.

"You want her?" Alex asked.

"Yup."

Because a strip club is a meat market, too. Why even pretend otherwise in this juvenile, distasteful and illiterate fantasy? Like a toddler in a candy store, Sean’s just assuming everything on display is there for him to take.

Sean said as she took off her red night gown and threw it in their direction which Sean caught and saw her wink at him.

"And apparently she wants you." Sam said.

The idiot tipped with hundred dollar bills, I'm surprised there hasn’t been done anything else by the management to butter him up and bleed him dry

Heather slowly took off her bra and threw it away before shaking her breasts at the crown before slowly licking her right hand and slowly drifted it into her thong and the crowd cheered.

"Oh she's going to fit in just fine." Clover said.

I haven’t seen the movie, but honestly, if strippers and hookers is all this author wants, why the fuck didn’t he start here and leave Totally Spies! and Total Drama Island out of it?

Soon Heather's show came to an end and she walked around the club in only a thong and black revealing night gown.

"Hello there." Sean said to the woman who smirked at him.

"Hello handsome." Heather said.

Glad the two of you have met. Can we skip the formalities and get on with the torture session the author calls a sex scene?

"So whats your real name?" Sean asked making her grin.

"Nomi." Nomi said.

"Hey bub unless your paying for a..." The club owner tried to say.

"Shut the fuck up and mind your own business."

Well, that’s no way to treat a man speaking with a Spartan dialect, bub.

Sean said shoving a good few thousands dollars on his chest making his eyes widen at the amount before walking away.

"Finally someone shuts his ass up." Nomi said making him chuckle.

"How Much would it take to have you over for the night?" Sean asked.

How much would it take this author to stop assuming every woman is a prostitute in heart and soul, and realize that proposing she’s a whore is supposed to be this woman’s berserk button?

"Well that depends do you have thousands of more dollars otherwise he wont budge." Nomi said.

"Money is never an issue for me Nomi. Thats why I always invest my money wisely." Sean said making her grin.

The problem is, Sean, I don’t think you can get laid through BitCoin.

"Then I'm all yours for the night." Nomi said kissing his cheek making him smirk.

Later

"Wow." Nomi said as she walked out in the pool area of a penthouse Sean owned in the area.

Because of course Sean the pampered puss owns property everywhere he goes, even to places he has announced out loud he has always wanted to go to! He had to slum on the couch of some high school girls as he groomed them and get a mansion built, but this guy probably has a moon base once the author gets to banging alien chicks!

"It's amazing." Nomi said before she got a naughty smile on her face and took off the only clothing she had on which was a blue nightgown as it dropped to the marble floor before diving into the pool that was very warm due to heat generators installed in it.

Because you wait until the very last moment to establish unimportant details like this, didn’t you know?

Sean smirked at her before removing his own clothing and she licked her lips seeing his very muscled body and practically drooled when she saw his large cock on display fully awake.

"Mmmm Come to momma." Nomi said as Sean dived in the water and swam over to her and she smiled at him before wrapping her legs around his waist and around his head before pulling him into a kiss which he returned kissing her lovingly. "Mmmm I wish this wasn't a one night stand." Nomi said figuring this was a one time thing.

Oh, for a moment there, I thought she said it because she planned to murder Sean during sex. Do you only write this because you yourself have to get it spelled out to you, author?

"Who said it was?" Clover asked surprising her and saw she and the others were naked as them before diving in.

"Uh whats going on?" Nomi asked confused.

"Would you believe me if I told you I have a large harem of girls all of whom I love in my life."

Would you believe her if she said no? I’m genuinely wondering how muddled your worldview is to think this premise can be accepted at the drop of a hat in-universe, author.

Sean said surprising her again before smirking.

"So you want me in your harem?" Nomi asked before he kissed her again and she moaned into the kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" Donna asked swimming next to them. Nomi smirked before facing Sean again.

"I'll join on one condition." Nomi said.

"And that is?" Sam asked.

Maybe tell her your names, to begin with?

"I have a friend at the club who I want out of the club since she doesn't belong in that kind of place. Her names Penny. Get her out of there and I'm all yours and so will she." Nomi said before moaning as Donna kissed her neck.

Yeah, she doesn’t belong in that kind of place, of course, and by the way Nomi, Sean is building a strip club for you all, remember to thank him for that.

And I’m not saying you should use your foresight for anything, author, but did you happen to notice that there was a rape victim in that movie, who wasn’t the second pair of blonde tits doing on-stage lesbian acts with your chosen first pair?

"Done." Sean said before shoving her against the side and lined himself up at her entrance. Nomi grinned at him.

"Do it big man." Nomi said and moaned in bliss as he slid inside her pussy before gasping in bliss as he made it all the way in and was stretching her sex. "Oh god yes so fucking huge."

Wow, I can’t believe it. A non-virgin penetration. Will the author forget the birth control, too, I wonder.

Nomi said in bliss before Donna sat in front of her face with her pussy in front of her.

"Well don't keep me waiting." Donna said making her smirk before Nomi placed her mouth over her pussy and her hands on her hips making Donna moan while she played with her hair.

Sean thrusted into Nomi wildly having the water splash around them like crazy.

There are two reasons I know of the movie Showgirls 1995. One is this author’s harem list, the other is the pool sex scene which I must believe inspired this author. A sex scene that enters any top ten worst lists. A sex scene that’s hailed as infamous for having two actors flail like fish out of water while in actual water, with a guy who spasms back and forth while a woman pretends to grind against his naval. Of all the things the author rips off, why does he chose shitty sexploitation?

Alex press her breast against his back while kissing his neck. Sam and Clover each got on his sides and started kissing his chest.

Nomi was moaning in bliss from the sheer force her new lover was giving her pussy like no other man has ever done to her before. The Taste of Donna's pussy was also amazing.

"Yeah thats it lick me good...Ooooh I'm close get ready here comes your REWARD!" Donna screamed the last part as she came hard and Nomi screamed into her sex as she also came as well before her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt Sean's warm seed enter her womb.

I’m wondering if you understand why your own idealized kink climax reactions are transpiring, author, because now you’re crediting them in orders to be separated entirely from each other.

"I love all of you." Nomi said making them all smirk before Sam pulled her into a kiss before tossing her to Clover who did the same as did Alex before she was back in Sean's arms who held her lovingly. "And I love you the most." Nomi said as she laid her head on his chest with a content smile before she passed out from the sexual thrill.

Erotic narcolepsy, for when the sex scene is done and the author doesn’t know what people do afterwards.

Sean and the girls got out of the pool while Sean carried Nomi Bridal style.

"Keep her here while I go get her friend." Sean said making them nod as they got in the water bed.

Next day

Penny had agreed to the idea of the harem and all seven of them left on a private plane to Beverly hills.

Nice of her to be fine with the cunt clan and all. I guess simply adopting her was a footnote not worthy of an elevator description and pretend-interactions, since it won’t result in a sex scene.

"Home sweet home." Sean said.

"Wow." Penny said.

"How much money do you have?" Nomi asked in shock since the place was huge.

"Oh you have no idea." Sean said as they entered the house.

No one does, because infinity can’t be fathomed.

"Welcome back sugar." Leshawna said walking up to them in the nude.

"Hey Leshawna." Sean said kissing her making her moan before pulling back and smirked at him before walking to the hot tub.

"I am so going to love it here." Penny said to Nomi who laughed with her before soon the former cheer leaders turned maids still in their skimpy maids outfits came and helped them to their own personal rooms.

"This makes 41 girls in the harem now." Sam said taking off her clothes as did the others.

And this already buckling narrative is shooting for a number of sex-dispensing bauble that’s more than twice the number of characters in the fucking Silmarillion!!

"And its only going to get bigger and bigger." Sean said.

Authors note: Wow so far I've got 41 girls in the harem. I know I said I was going to get one blond stripper in Vegas but then I remembered this babe and had to add her.

Another! Another!! The author failed his list by forgetting one, and then there’s another added like an afterthought! Four hundred-fifty-fucking-four! What was the point of your list if you are not even going to follow it, author, you utter insatiable shithead?!

Now next chapter we add the first girl from DC which one will It be I wonder? Heres a hint she had blond hair and blue eyes.

Here’s another hint: I doesn’t matter.

After that I'm doing the second season episode Nature Nightmare with a few changes. See ya. Oh and since there were so many votes in the poll for the 3rd arc a new poll for the harem is up again.

I’m sorry to break up a circle jerk like this, but honestly, there’s better smut out there, people, stop giving this author a false sense of accomplishment.

Image

A pair of actual strippers joins the harem in a rush. The author even seems so convinced they match his exact palette, that he hasn't spent time twisting their characters like he did the rest.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Jul 09, 2018 1:43 pm

Now we move on to more crossover material, with the author of course doing the usual of figuratively shitting into the source material while tearing out his targeted pair of tits. Here's Chapter 24, Clowns punching bag no more.

Chapter 24 Clowns punching bag no more

At least the author took the advice and stopped hitting himself.

Sean smirked as Tonight would be the final contraction day of the strip club that he called the Eternal Ecstasy Due to his immortal blood. (Got the name from my good friend Lunar Silver and the name fits the people in the club)

And it only took you, what, twelve chapters, to get this far with the idea, author?

"I cant believe tonight it's finally finished." Clover said with an excited look on her face.

"All it took was a month to build and thankfully Jerry wont be able to WOOHP us while we're there otherwise it would be awkward if you girls came in with only skimpy clothes or naked when we see him that way."

And if that means the world is in danger while you guys are screwing each other twenty-four-seven, well that’s just tough luck.

Sean said making them shiver in fear should that happen. Just as they were about to enter the building they were sucked into a bush.

I’m pretty sure Sean gets sucked into any bush he keeps around him, what else is new?

"Oh come on I've got exams to take!" Sam yelled as they entered the office.

"Hello Spies." Jerry said.

"Jerry this better be important." Sean said.

Every mission Jerry has sent you on has rewarded you with pussy, Sean, why can’t you for once fake appreciation for that?

"Well yes it have any of you ever heard of the Joker before?" Jerry asked making them blink.

"That crazy clown nut job in Gotham City?" Sean asked.

"Yes that would be him." Jerry said.

"What about him are you sending us after him?" Alex asked.

"Not exactly. Apparently he and his partner Harley Quinn somehow got out of the city and similar acts he's known for have sprung up in the area." Jerry said.

Somehow got out of the city? What shit are you smoking to make your perception of fictional realities so convoluted, author? Gotham is not an island fortress the Rogue’s Gallery can’t get out of, and the Joker has done so many times in the DC universe, dumbass.

"So you mean he's here? Why not tell the Batman isn't the Joker his most hated enemy or something?" Sean said.

"If we knew who he was we would sadly his identity is still a mystery to us." Jerry said.

And as we all know, Batman does not keep track of any of his villains and never watches the news. He’s the world’s greatest detective, author, you nimrod, I’d be surprised if he didn’t know already. But no, the real reason he’s not getting involved is because that would be a character sharing too many of your perceived and faked chick-magnetizing materials, and Sean can’t very well have competition!

"Well we'll keep an eye out for them if we see them." Sean said.

"I figured as much well good day spies." Jerry said as he pressed a button and floor beneath them vanished and they fell down screaming.

Later

"How does a nut job like the Joker end up all the way here?" Alex asked as they got to class.

Why don’t you ask Sean, or were you being rhetorical?

"Don't look at me. Probably got tired of his sorry ass getting beat by the joker." Sean said before the speakers in the school went off.

I’d like to know how Sean knows about the Joker’s superior lower-case clone.

"Hello Children of Beverly Hills." Said a menacing and annoying voice.

"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me." Sean said in shock.

"Due to the rather high grades of this school you've all been deputized as my personal army of jokers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker laughed out like a mad man.

"What are the fucking odds?" Donna asked in disbelief.

Odds? You want to know about odds, when you yourself have been reduced to a statistic in this fanfic?

"Now Let the fun begin." The Joker said as a purple gas hit each room and suddenly every student including the girls were knocked out. "Now who should be wait a minute." Joker said seeing Sean was still wide awake. "You there muscle head why are you not napping!" Joker yelled.

"That shit doesn't work on me fuck face."

”What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn self-insert!”

On a related note, I think you’d just love All Star Batman and Robin, author, if you can read anything not involving harems, I mean.

Sean said making Jokers eyes twitch in annoyance.

"Well, I cant have you spoiling all my fun so good luck trying to get out. The doors are sealed tighter then a bank vault." Joker said making Sean snort before he punched the door open. "WHAT!" The Joker yelled in rage.

Dude, author, you set this in a high school. Am I supposed to be impressed by Sean calling a bluff, or is this diarrhea-thin narrative making it that easy for you to maintain an erection?

"You're going to have try better then that dumbass." Sean said breaking the camera with a special EMP grenade that knocked out all the other cameras.

Image

You had your chance at giving Sean spy gear not even three hundred words ago, author, your asspulls are getting even worse with each chapter!

"Thats not fair!" Joker yelled. "HARLEY!" Joker yelled having his personal punching bag walk in with her usual smile.

"Yes Mister J?" Harley said.

"Get rid of this kid I've got some important things to do." Joker said getting a can of spray paint.

”I’m going to tag the principal’s car, that’ll really convince readers of this fanfic that I had a good reason to show up here in Beverly Hills.”

Sean made his was to the principles office but found Joker wasn't there.

"Damnit were is that fucker?"

With how this author portrays the purpose of living for women, you’ll have to be more specific.

Sean asked before hearing a giggle and turned around and saw Harley Quinn with a large mallet in her hands.

"Sorry muscle head Joker is busy so I'm going to have to take you down." Harley said swinging her mallet at him but to her shock it just broke into tiny little pieces while Sean looked amused.

Oh, how surprising, I guess the immortal superman facsimile author-dick stand-in was simply hit with kryptonite knuckle irons back when he got his punk ass knocked out.

"Is that all you got?" Sean asked with a smirk making her frown and picked up a chair and like her mallet it broke apart. Getting frustrated she picked up a desk and threw it at him and like everything else it broke.

"I hope you can pay the bill for all the stuff you're breaking." Sean said still amused.

You mean before you fucking her somehow absolves her of any and all crime, right? Because the author’s dick-embodiment overrules anything it wants.

"Ok thats it!" Harley yelled cartwheeling over to him before she kicked him in the chest. "Ow!" Harley yelled holding her foot. "What are you made of metal?" Harley asked hopping on one foot.

"Nope just pure muscles." Sean said making her frown.

Actually, an erection consists of blood-inflated sponge-like tissue called sinusoid, not muscle.

"Your just like the bats no humor for what Mister J does." Harley said making him raise an eyebrow.

"You mean letting him kill innocent people and treat you like dirt?" Sean asked making her gaps in hurt.

"You take that back Mister J loves me!" Harley said.

Author, Harley is well aware she harms innocents and is being treated like dirt. She’s crazy, not delusional. It’s kind of vice versa for you.

"Really? When was the last time he said those words to you?" Sean asked.

Enough times to make her believe it, Sean, when did you say it to all of your harem participants, individually?

"He...Uh?...Um." Harley tried to say but couldn't since he's never really said those words to her.

"How many times has he constantly beaten you? How many times has he smacked you around. How many Times has he insulted you for trying to show affection to him?" Sean asked.

How many more times are you going to pretend this is something you just know by having a documentary about their love life broadcast to Sparta, instead of admitting it’s all author-endowed knowledge?

"Ok enough it's a complicated relationship." Harley said in denial.

"It's no relationship he's using you like a bunching bag. I read about you a few times. You were extremely successful in your former career before you two ever met.

What origin story have you been reading? Oh, right, the author thinks flattery will give you everything and then some.

You had a future ahead of you but you threw it away for some clown who would sooner throw you out of a fast moving car for his own amusement." Sean said.

"SHUT UP!" Harley yelled tackling him into the boys locker room. She and Sean Wrestled in the locker room before a ripping sound was heard and Harley blinked before seeing she ripped Sean's shirt off.

'Holy molly!' Harley said in awe in her head seeing his extremely muscled chest.

Foul! I’m pretty sure using hypnotic muscles is an illegal move in wrestling.

Sean took her dazed state to his advantage and rolled her over before another ripping sound was heard this time it was Harley's red costume revealing her large breasts to him making her let out a embarrassed Eep sound and covered her chest.

Well, congratulations for finally mentioning a single thing about what costume she’s wearing, author, right as its irrelevant because of sex, you masturbating hack.

"And the Joker doesn't take the time to admire a hot woman in his sights." Sean said amused making her blink before he non existing modesty side returned and cupped her breasts and smirked at him.

"Like these big man?" Harley asked before shaking them around.

What was it that suddenly made this change? I’ll tell you. Nothing! Things are progressing like this for no reason.

"Oh yeah." Sean said before she removed the rest of her costume and stood before him in the nude and posed for him.

"I'll make you a deal. You knock me out with a mind blowing orgasm and I'm yours forever and leave the joker hell I'll even help you kill him if you want."

Wow, what amazing motivation. It doesn't help the fact that you are now the creep enabling the mad woman instead of the Joker, Sean. Considering the comparison to the rest of your bitches, you cause the same dependencies with them as between Harley and The Joker, only you are simply violent to them with your blood-covered dick.

Harley said before she squealed as he removed the rest of his clothing seeing his large monster. "Let the fun begin." Harley said tackling him to the ground.

(Sorry I'm not feeling all that well to make a lemon

Hasn’t stopped you before, as far as I can tell.

but don't worry I've got good plans for her in the strip club chapter that will come out in time)

I can’t wait. I mean that. The trepidation, of how hard my eyes are going to roll and how sore my throat will be from laughing, is forcing me to eye my medicine cabinet wearily.

"Hmm I wonder whats keeping that Bimbo up?" Joker said to himself as he finished getting the rest of his joker venom in the spray cans before.

BANG!

Joker suddenly went limp as Sean shot him with his ICER that he kept in his pant leg.

Is that a gun in your pant leg, or is a high school just the typical place for you to bring WOOHP weaponry?

"Thats for calling her a bimbo fuck face." Sean said kicking his face hard.

Welcome to the pit the author calls his high ground, where he keeps stomping it deeper as his white knight ego boosting contradicts the even harsher words he uses during his self-insert’s sex scenes.

Later

"Well done Sean you've managed to catch the Joker. Arkham is readying for his return with a few modifications to the place we've set up. But where is Harley Quinn?" Jerry asked.

"Lets just say I've finally gotten through to her and she will never work with the Joker again. I don't suppose I can convince you to hire her due to her previous job before she met the Joker?" Sean asked.

You are suggesting they hire a known insane-diagnosed criminal, who’s unbalanced, codependent, deluded and without a moral compass. She’s perfect for you, so of course they will.

"I'll see what I can do in the meantime I would take the time you all have off due to the schools new security construction being built in." Jerry said as the lack of security made the school board place new security placements in.

Why? The Joker made it able to be sealed tighter than a bank vault. And what does their high school have to do with their job as spies exactly?

"Will do see ya around." Sean said as they left.

"So how was miss crazy?" Alex asked Sean before she got bonked on the head by said person.

"I am not crazy just full of excitement." Harley said insulted.

"Right sorry." Alex said.

Later at night (Its the moment you've all been waiting for!^^)

Sean dies?!

"Wow this is amazing." Donna said as the club was finally finished and everyone looked around to see what the place had. A few strip polls in the main room enough for 10 girls to perform. A VIP room big enough for 50 people. Also was a sexual kink room for girls who payed a lot for some physical fun with the strippers. A large hot tub room big enough for 10 people each counting at least 10 of them and all kinds of other things.

Well, I hope you enjoy your whore house of plenty, author. As if it wasn’t already obvious it’s your nebulous dream mansion merely moved to a different location.

"Oh Honey its perfect." Carmen said kissing his cheek making him chuckle.

"I knew you'd all like it. Tomorrow night is when we start so I hope you all like the clothes I ordered in the back." Sean said as the girls rushed to the back.

"You spoil us to much you know." Alex said kissing him.

And all it took was the author to rub his dick to grant Sean infinite wishes.

"Ive got way more then enough money to get you all whatever you want and this will bring in some extra cash for all of you." Sean said making her giggle before kissing him again.

Authors Note: Finally we've got the strip club opened and now Harley Quinn is in the harem. Sorry there wasn't a lemon but I wasn't feeling up for making one today but wanted this out.

It’s not like I took you for a person to have high standards, author, but evidently I was wrong since you don’t have any.

Now next chapter we head into episode Nature Nightmare with a few differences I've added in.

And by differences, you mean replaced the entire episode with Poison Ivy smut. I’m mocking these two chapters back to back, by the way.

Also incase some of you haven't noticed the 6th poll is up for new spy harem that will be up till tomorrow afternoon so vote fast and smart cause one of you only voted for 2 people instead of 50 of the 100.

It’s called restraint, author, I’m genuinely amazed anyone reading your schlock still retains it.

Also once I'm done with that poll the harem poll for my story a different army for the Jedi will be put up. Another thing I'm shocked by how quickly people faved my story the Rider of the league cause the first time I made a justice league story it mostly got hate review but this one got all likes and favs in only a few days.

Because the flies circling this turd caught a whiff and enforced your echo chamber, most likely. That, or the reviewers found you to be a lost case.

Now let me know if you have any suggestions for this story such as lemons girls to add and so on. See ya my loyal loving fans. Also Mathew I already added Laura from Street Fighter you have to look at the harem poll carefully to find her.

She’s – no, fuck, not –it’s, she’s- fucking fuck, she’s not on the fucking fucking list!!! This travesty is coming to a head for me now, because this author is actually just pinning on names from the encouraged endless stream of suggestions and polls, he present his readers. The list will never be complete, because the author has never had an end goal besides masturbating until his dick falls off!!

Image

And another victim joins the mass of drool-covered flesh, but Harley won't get the full stamp for now since the author merely pressed skip on the sex scene, knowing everyone would figure out the standard default outcome of the oh so tense proposition that had been put forth; complete submission for being allowed to participate in the author's fantasy.
Last edited by ConcernedGamer on Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: New Spy

Post by Dashguy » Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:25 am

Wasn't there an episode of Batman TAS where the Joker pushed Harley out of a window or something, landing her on the hospital? She decided she had enough of him, but did a 180° and went back to fawn over him as soon as she saw he sent her a "get well card". I think it's an excellent summary of her insanity and why this whole "he didn't treat you right, but I will" white knight bullcrap won't work on her.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:01 am

Dashguy wrote:
Tue Jul 10, 2018 9:25 am
Wasn't there an episode of Batman TAS where the Joker pushed Harley out of a window or something, landing her on the hospital? She decided she had enough of him, but did a 180° and went back to fawn over him as soon as she saw he sent her a "get well card". I think it's an excellent summary of her insanity and why this whole "he didn't treat you right, but I will" white knight bullcrap won't work on her.
Yes, I had the same episode in memory when mocking that chapter. It's not even like the author thought any deeper on it than what was needed to imagine beyond a skintight outfit, as the only presented issue has been physical abuse, rather than the psychological. All he saw was a woman obsessively fixated with an abusive relationship and wanted that for himself.

Let's just skip the fact that Sean took The Joker - and virtually everyone he has fought - off-guard in one-sides battle and won without breaking a sweat. It's not like the author can stop daydreaming his hollow fantasies when stroking his ego. What we should focus on is how we are presented with this vapid self-insert of a protagonist, who is nothing but an egotistical man-child's fantasy of the embodiment of neckbeard white-knight glorification, addle by muscles and money. Sean is such an exaggerated parody of every trope he presents himself through, that it's amazing the author considers him a valid alter ego rather than a laughing stock. At least he's so fed up on pussy and wish-fulfillment, that we don't have to deal with an edgelord loner version of him in this fanfic. Here's Chapter 25, Mother of Nature.

Chapter 25 Mother of Nature

So, virgin is out of the question, but is she on the pill?

Harley squealed as Sean thrusted into her fast and hard. The Strip club had to go through inspection before it could fully open and that would take another few days. Plenty of time for Sean and his girls to enjoy themselves.

Yay, congratulations, and this is different from everything leading up to this how?

"Wow you never get tired do you?" Harley said as she kissed his chest.

"Nope not when I have a harem full of hot women in my life that gets bigger and bigger everyday." Sean said kissing her forehead before he grits his teach and she let out a shuddering moan as they both came together.

I think the author’s slacking on sex scenes is because he has become aware that his vocabulary noticeably degrades with each one he writes.

"Speaking of getting bigger I have a friend you'll love to add to this love group."

You say love group, the rest of reality says slut army.

Harley said pushing him down and rested on his chest feeling up his muscles.

"Oh yeah and who's that?" Sean asked playing with her hair making her smirk at him and kissed his chest again.

"Her names Pamela or as you and the rest of the world knows her as..." Harley tried to say.

"Poison Ivy?" Sean asked.

The insecurities flooding this fanfic was of course in need of being topped off with the self-insert never ever once being at fault of needing to be told something new. He knows everything he needs to already, because otherwise he would have to share words with someone that didn’t involve the topic of sex.

"Yup. You see Clown face and I weren't the only ones to leave Gotham she's left there as well and while I don't know exactly where she is I do remember her saying something about a mountain region in Canada." Harley said scratching her chin.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't the accident that gave her powers over nature have a side effect she hates?" Sean asked remembering something about that.

"Oh yeah she cant have kids." Harley said knowing how much that devastated her.

"I would think having a relationship would things hard on her due to thats what happens in a relationship over time." Sean said.

Fuck off, author, you complete and utter ignorant creep. This is the root of your harem excuse already. Every time you handwave the birthcontrol, you’ve also done it with the most cringey and empty lamentations of glorified parenthood prophecies. Relationships and kids are not synonymous, dickhead! They are not the default reason to have a relationship, they are not the default expected outcome of a relationship, and the likelihood of having them does not by default impact the stability of a relationship when being a known factor. I can't believe you are ignoring even the very existence of adoptions, as you are going to be using a hypothetical future pregnancy as your next excuse to have a human-despising villainess join the harem and get absolved off all prior crime!!

"Oh come on I'm sure that big brain of yours can fix her and make her happy again. Please?" Harley said giving him the puppy eye look making him chuckle.

"I never said I wouldn't help her." Sean said making her squeal again and tackled him to the ground.

Because of course Sean can fart out a chemistry set and cure her on the spot, because having a slightly increased intelligence is of course superior to the actual expert suffering the condition involving her field of expertise in the first place!

"You get her here and fix her little problem and I'll do whatever you and he girls want for a year." Harley said.

"You do that now anyway." Sean said with a sweat drop on his head.

"Let me rephrase that. I'll do whatever you all want me to do without question No Matter if its in private or public."

Same fucking thing, you dumb caricature. You can fake exhibition all you like, but how about you gave it a shot at faking independence?

Harley said making him chuckle and kissed her making her moan.

"Alright I'll see what I can do." Sean said before carrying her to the shower with her swung over his shoulder making her giggle.

Nothing could be altruistic about this guy, could it? No good deed rendered without having to confirm and promise a reward first. He always must be given an incentive for his dick to pilot the vestigial muscle mountain attached to it. This guy has gotten four times the amount of pussy than ‘thank you’s at this point.

Later

"So she wants you to find one of her old friends?" Sam asked Sean as they sat in the mall.

"Since when can I ever say no to any of you?" Sean asked making them giggle.

Dude, the author probably banned the existence of that word as the only way to make every girl you meet consent.

"True so how are you going to find her?" Donna asked.

"I have no idea and the area she said she might be in isn't enough to go on." Sean said before the bench they were sitting on flipped them over.

"Shit!" Donna yelled as the landed on the couch.

"Hello spies." Jerry said.

"What now?" Sean asked.

Isn't it obvious, Sean? The author has not titled this chapter after an episode of Totally Spies, meaning he is going to serve you Poison Ivy on a platter and has demoted Jerry to be your waiter.

"Recently a number of farmers and loggers have disappeared from the mounties in the canadian boarders. The Last missing report was over two days ago." Jerry said.

"Wait did you say the canadian Boarder?" Sean asked.

Are you worried you won’t fit in, bub?

"Yes does that mean something to you?" Jerry asked.

"Harley was telling me that her friend Pamela Poison Ivy was in that region. Maybe its her thats doing this trying to protect the nature area." Sean said.

Who knows. Maybe it’s also just one big coincidence that whatever woman you come across are virgins helplessly desperate for sex and an immortal sugar daddy.

"If thats so perhaps you should bring her along to be sure." Jerry said.

Later

"Yup this is a place Red would be in." Harley said in her usual outfit.

Because when doing spy work, of course they take along an unpardoned villainess in costume.

"Why are you wearing that here?" Donna asked.

"What I like it since I made it myself." Harley said posing for them.

"Ok enough of that lets go." Sean said as they moved through the forest.

"Remind me again if we do find Ivy here how are going to persuade her to let all the people she's captured free." Alex asked.

How about we confirmed whether or not it’s Bigfoot, first? At least the author could have given you guys a single clue that it’s Poison Ivy, instead of making it obvious that Sean wishing really hard actually makes reality conform.

"Oh she'll list to me." Harley said before grabbing Sean's groin making him smirk. "Plus I'm sure I can seduce into testing this big boy out." Harley said kissing his cheek.

Females can’t resist a Spartan dick. We know, author. There is no reason anyone could ever dismiss that sound logic of yours.

"Oy." Sam said amused.

"So how do you know Ivy anyway?" Clover asked.

And that marks Sam and Clover’s second and final contribution of dialogue to this chapter. I guess Max wasn’t worth more than one line this time around.

"Oh when I was the Joker's punching bag I left him for a while and met Red in a museum and we teamed up and made a pretty good team but eventually we got busted by bats." Harley said.

"Sounds like it was more then friendship." Donna said smirking making Harley giggle.

"Well we did have a few private moments." Harley said grinning.

Someone would almost call it a relationship, but that would demand the possibility of pregnancies, right, author?!

Later at night

The girls were all soon fast asleep in the nude.

Outside of Harley’s costume mention, I’m not even convinced these bimbos can get dressed.

Harley on the other hand though.

Harley ran through the forest butt naked while laughing in excitement.

Then what the hell was the point of even mentioning she came here in her uniform is she’s not going to wear it, author? Are you writing this before even figuring out what your dick wants?

"Wow I need to do this more often." Harley said.

"You honestly have no shame or since of modesty do you?" A female voice said making Harley blink before she turned around and saw a white skinned women with green eyes and red hair with only a pair of four leaf clovers covering her nipples and a large leaf covering her pussy lips and her ass.

Oh yeah, clearly Harley is the one with modesty issues. Do you always have to write your cock-muffs to be complete hypocrites, author?

"Red!" Harley said pouncing her and pulled her into a kiss which she returned and moaned into the kiss. "I missed you." Harley said rubbing her face between her breasts.

"I missed you to Harley. What are you doing here anyway? Don't tell me you've left the Joker again and then a few weeks later go right back to him?" Ivy said having seen this before.

"Nope I left clown face a couple weeks ago for a real man. One who..."

One whose side-effect of existing demands the author spice up his lemon party with fix-fic touchups.

Harley whispers the more interesting parts into her ear and Ivy couldn't hold back her giggles or her blush coming to her face.

Nice to see that you’re drawing blanks as to what anyone would see in Sean as a characters, author. When will your pandering insert-reader-preferences-here writing style go to the hell it deserves?

"Really now? So why are you here?" Ivy asked.

"I want you to come home with us. Come on. He's even a nature lover like you and might fix your problem." Harley said making her frown.

"Harley you told him about that?" Ivy asked.

"She told me because she cares."

She told you because you already knew, Encyclopedia Dick-tannica!

Sean said behind her making her jump slightly before she faced him and had a massive blush seeing he was naked as Harley and his large monster was awake.

And how long did you walk through the Canadian forest like that with this exact scenario in mind, you dullard? Porn parodies have more dignity than this.

"Oh my." Ivy said in lust but shook it off. "Ive been told by hundreds of people they could fix me and all have lied what makes you any different?" Ivy asked and he approached her making her back up into one of the trees before he was in inch away from her before he pulled her into a loving kiss making her eyes widen before she let out a pleased moan as she felt her poisons having no effect on this man.

"I'm immune to your poisons Pamela." Sean said using her real name making her blush some more. "In a few years when I'm older I can help give you a baby. He or she will be exactly like us strong and passionate in what he or she believes in." Sean said kissing her again before she jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him.

Image

Author, you brain-deficient, thought-impoverished, cock-for-brains motherfucker!! Poison Ivy’s problem is that she’s infertile due to her genetic immunities, a far cry from your Mr. All-Powers-No-Drawback’s McFuckSauce. Her womb isn’t fucking toxic!! Her lips are her weapon, and it’s certainly not going to prevent conception! Here I thought you were going to have Sean shit out a panacea or something to fulfil this jarringly injected harem participant-excuse of a baby-promise, but you are actually presenting it so that your flesh-suit’s wonder-schlong will ejaculate immune sperm to fulfill the act, making it more a matter of extortion than even your previous pretend instant-relationships! Fuck you and your fetid fantasies and their infantile excuses.

"Aw how cute." Harley said rubbing her breasts on his back before she kissed his neck.

"Take me please." Ivy said in lust wanting to have a real good time with this man who's very presence sent her into a sexual frenzy.

Wait, that’s what’s happening here? Because all I’m seeing is crash fedora tipping in everything but the actual physical act. And I’m having trouble not believing this to be the expected narrative derived inside the head of the people who perform the act.

"As you wish." Sean said aligning himself at her wet sex since her leafs fell off her body and shoved himself in making her gasp in bliss before he started thrusting into her sex like a pro.

Well, how could he not, when it’s the only profession the author wants him to actually perform?

"Don't forget about me now." Harley said sitting on her face and moaned as Ivy licked her pussy the way she knew Harley liked.

If Ivy even somehow was so toxic that she couldn’t get a baby, obviously this Harley was given the typical immunity concoction. What’s preventing the green girl from giving a dose to any other sexually active man in this universe? Oh, wait, they don’t exist!!!

Sean reached forward with one hand and played with her breasts making her moan into Harley's pussy more while his other hand moved around her pussy increasing her pleasure even more.

Patty-caking her chest and hover-handing her genitals? Can you ever bring your imagination to further details, author?

Harley was moaning in bliss before she pulled Sean into a kiss and moaned into his mouth.

Ivy was in pure heaven as Sean and Harley played with her body before she tensed up feeling her orgasm approaching and bucked her hips wildly which they noticed and Harley ending her kiss with Sean went down and licked Ivy's pussy making her scream into hers as she came. Harley let out a long moan as she came on Ivy's face while Sean came deep inside Ivy.

And all the descriptions and events presented to us could have taken less than ten seconds with Sean being a one-pump-chump. Everything about this fanfic demands you do the majority of the author’s work for him.

"Oh my lord." Ivy panted out not feeling her legs after such an act.

"Satisfied?" Sean asked picking her up bridal style.

"Very." Ivy said laying her head on his chest.

"So will you come home with us please?" Harley said with a puppy dog look making her roll her eyes in amusement.

"Ok I'll come with but first I need to free those that I've held hostage.

Sure, she was probably just terrorizing lumberjacks for shits and giggles anyway, it’s not like this author believes in the concept of motivations.

Oh and before I do that would you mind if I showed you something?" Ivy said mischievously.

"What are you up to?" Sean asked.

"Oh nothing just showing you a treat." Ivy said.

She led them to a house made of wood and went under it.

You mean a log cabin, author? Not only can you only describe things like a five-year-old, you housed Ivy in a structure built from the molested corpses of what she wants to protect.

"Little bit of an experiment I've been working on if Harley ever showed up." Ivy said before Sean and Harley saw a woman about a year younger then Sean being played with by vines like tentacles. The woman had blue hair white skin and(I know she doesn't have this in the series)green eyes.

"Now who the hell is that?" Sean asked.

I’m saying the same thing, because the clueless monkey writing this mess has more than ten blue-haired bitches waiting in his spank bank, and he’s already altering their appearances while pretending it even matters in the first place.

"I think she said her name was Marie Kanker.

Uh huh. Yeah. I’m sure you expected everyone to recognize the at max fourteen years old kid you dragged into your smut after you told us she was close to Sean’s already debatable age, author?

I found her on her own and well I needed a test subject. Of course though she didn't seem to mind hell she's been like this for months." Ivy Said.

"Wait hold on if she's been like that for months does she..?" Sean tried to say.

"Look healthy? Lets just say my baby here gives her nutrients for her body and has given her a few upgrades to her body." Ivy said since Marie used to have small boobs now she had Large C cup sized breasts and a hearth shaped ass and a toned stomach.

Because what fap fantasy would be complete without actively cancelling out any and all drawbacks to constant, perpetual sex, with extra sugar and gumdrops on top? It’s already fucking pathetic that this uppity faux Spartan has unlimited money, wonder-jizz and azoth blood to spare, but now we needed a fitness-transformation method ala tentacle rape body-morphing. The author is simply banking on getting all the back-padding he possibly can from his insipid fans, before losing interest from realizing he’s has already rounded down every corner until there’s nothing left to write about.

"Ok stop." Sean said as the planet let her go.

Straight into orbit with this one, then.

"What?" Marie said in a daze as she tried to get her sights fixed before Sean picked her up.

"Its Ok Marie." Ivy said as Marie soon opened her eyes fully and saw Sean making her blush a little before smiling at him.

"Hello handsome." Marie said before she noticed she was naked as was he making her stutter a lot before she fainted.

Having a woman conscious in the self-insert’s presence and not actively working to get him into bed is impossible for this author to write, you see.

"Oh boy." Sean said.

Later

Soon everyone was set free from Ivy's plants and returned home. Marie of course stayed with Sean.

Yes. Of course. It’s an ‘of course’ for everything you write, author. He won. Of course. He fucked another woman. Of course. This story sucks. You get my point.

"Wow." Marie and Ivy said seeing the mansion.

"Home sweet home." Sean said as they walked in.

"Hello honey." Carmen said walking up to them in the nude and kissed him. She then noticed Ivy and Marie and smirked at him. "Honestly I feel like your getting a collection of girls here."

When did you last make a headcount, bimbo? Fuck you, author, it’s painfully obvious you don’t even know what to have these women say or do when you pretend they are present and approving of Sean’s womanizing antics, without having them act dumber with each appearance.

Carmen said making him smirk.

"Like your complaining." Sean said.

After getting Marie and Ivy settled in Sean was in the movie room with a massive tv screen that you have in a theater even had the reclinable chair.

It was probably also filled with hot water and jet engines.

"Room for one more?" Marie said walking in the room in only a small black thong with a heart in the center.

"Be my guest." Sean said as she sat down on his chest with her back pressed against his and moaned softly feeling his hard muscles on her skin since he was only in his boxers.

"I'm going to enjoy living here. And I'm sure my sisters will to once I decide to go back and get them."

They. Are. Not. On. THE LIST!!!

Marie said making him smirk before kissing her softly making her smile as they watched the movie.

Authors note: Sorry this took so long got side tracked on my two new stories and going back to my old story Mistreated soul. Anyway next chapter we will start the second arc using Mortal Kombat. Also I would like you guys to give me a list of female celebrities to use in future polls for this story and others incase I decide to do that. Read Review and Vote in my polls. See ya.

Now you threaten to put actual celebrities in this indignant mess? You already have some, from deciding and actively using live action movie actresses, you mindless cretin!

Image

You know the drill. The author throws a couple of bitches in the harem bin, but he doesn't have the interest or time to fuck them all at once. The fact that he even pretends they hold any personal relevance to himself should offend anyone still willing to consider this fanfic worth their time.
Last edited by ConcernedGamer on Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: New Spy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:19 am

Another great mock to add to the collection.
ConcernedGamer wrote:
Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:01 am
"Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't the accident that gave her powers over nature have a side effect she hates?" Sean asked remembering something about that.

"Oh yeah she cant have kids." Harley said knowing how much that devastated her.

"I would think having a relationship would things hard on her due to thats what happens in a relationship over time." Sean said.
Oh boy, more flashbacks to A Rose By Any Other Name. I'm honestly wondering if Dragonlord0 and DeamonPrince were inspired by each others fics.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:32 pm

GorillaGamer wrote:
Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:19 am
Oh boy, more flashbacks to A Rose By Any Other Name. I'm honestly wondering if Dragonlord0 and DeamonPrince were inspired by each others fics.
So far, I haven't found evidence to prove that horrible thought, but my investigation goes no deeper than their favorite lists on fanfiction.net. If it shouldn't be the case so far, I genuinely hope they never happen to cross paths, as I fear what the end result could be.

So, we are moving into Mortal Kombat territory, because the author glanced at some exposed skin and homed in on it for that sole purpose. I wouldn't believe this author had played as much as a round of any of the games, because this chapter will offend people whose only connection to the universe was by having passed by an arcade machine. Here's Chapter 26, Outworld.

Chapter 26 Outworld

Movie version or game version, author? You deserve neither one. Go for the TV-series.

Sean was relaxing in the hot tub as Alex bounced on his lap.

"Mmmm So close." Alex moaned out as she thrusted down on him faster before gasped as he came deep inside her making her moan before she rested on his chest.

You are reducing your intro sex scenes to around forty words now, author? Is this what people are leaving you reviews for?

"And as always you are amazing." Sean said making her smile.

Just then a portal came out of nowhere outside the mansion.

You misspelled ‘The author took the easiest excuse to create his crossover with”.

"The hell?" Sean said getting out and put on his boxers while Alex simply put on a robe.

Soon three people were thrown out of the portal all three were women dressed in rather reveling outfits that resembled ninjas and one of them crashed into one of the trees and a branch was lodged into her leg making her cry out in pain before she passed out along with the other two that came with her. The three women had a different color of their outfits green blue and purple.

As always, author, your attention and dedication to describing anything cuts short at expecting everyone to know the character designs ahead of time, while making these Barbie dolls able to be confused for Naruto characters had you not titled this chapter.

"What in the world?" Sean said as he picked them up gently while carrying them inside.

Yeah, sure, carry three people at once, gently, with one of them having a skewered leg. Why don’t you just grant yourself telekinesis already and stop pretending it won’t just happen eventually.

Hours later

The girl in the blue outfit soon slowly opened her eyes groaning in discomfort before she looked to her right and saw Sean treating the girl in purple.

"Mileena!" The Girl yelled trying to get up but groaned in pain as she clutched her abdomen.

Huh, that’s odd. Typically these characters are fine when they start Round 2.

"Easy now. You're ok I'm just treating her wound is all. Who are all of you anyway?" Sean asked kindly as he went to her and put some healing ointments on her sore muscles making her sigh in relief when the pain lessened.

"I'm Kitana the one your treating is my sister Mileena and the other one is Jade a friend of mine." Kitana said.

And any trace of animosity between Kitana and her evil clone is of course not present, because the most complicated character conflict the author can write is whether a woman decides they are in love with Sean’s muscles or his dick.

"Well Kitana my name is Sean. I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell me why you three came through a portal?" Sean asked.

"I honestly don't know. Last thing I remember were the three of us in outworlds arena and..." Kitana tried to say.

And someone finished you all off by performing the worst fatality variation of them all; Fanficality.

"Wait. Did you just say outworld?" Sean asked.

"Yes does that name mean something to you?" Kitana asked.

"Not to me but to someone who studied under a man who experimented on me. His files said he had plans for outworld but I didn't know what that meant. Till now." Sean said. "What is outworld?" Sean asked.

You just proclaimed to finally understand what your pretend-foe’s plans were all about regarding Outworld, and now you ask what the fuck it is! Did you simply think it was a breakfast cereal or something?

"Well its complicated. This place is known to us as Earth Realm. There are different realms in history each different then the last. Outworld is led by my father Shao Kahn a powerful ruler of Outworld who keeps everyone in line. My fathers enemy Raiden the thunder god has protected earth realm from him due to his desire for conquest." Kitana said.

"I take it you don't exactly agree with your fathers ambitions." Sean said.

"No but he's still my father." Kitana said.

Okay, what messed up continuity are you pulling these characters from, author, since you have Kitana, the princess of Edenia and true daughter of King Jerrod, still consider Shao Kahn family after the fact of acknowledging him as evil? Or should I just assumed you have no idea what I’m even talking about, jerkoff champion?

"Well Hopefully I can find out how to get you all home." Sean said before Jade started to wake up.

"What?" Jade said before wincing in pain as her abdomen before Sean went to her and helped her up.

"Easy now." Sean said applying the same ointment on her making her sigh in relief as her pain ended.

I’m very amazed by this ointment. Oh, not about its instant healing properties or the fact that Sean pulled it from his ass. I’m blown away by the fact that it’s not meant as an aphrodisiac from the same bundle of rape-drugs Alex has subscribed to.

"Thank you. Where are we?" Jade asked.

"Well your in Earth realm as she calls it but to be more specific your in my home. I was here when all three of you crashed on the ground. Mileena had a tree branch lodged into her left leg thankfully the healing ointment is already healing her." Sean said as she sat up getting her balance back.

You used ointment to fix an impaled leg? I’d be more convinced if you told me you fucked the hole in order to heal it, Love Doctor!!

"How do we get back to outworld?" Jade asked.

"My boss can probably help in making a second portal to get you all home." Sean said before Mileena started to groan in pain and slowly took off her mask reveling her face that had a lot of sharp teeth rather then a normal mouth. "Well isn't that interesting." Sean said amused making Mileena look at him.

"You are not frightened by my appearance?" Mileena asked.

"Mileena I've seen things a hundred times more terrifying than your mouth." Sean said making her giggle slightly.

Author, you limp-dicked, pussy-footing, virtue-signalling numbskull. Mileena is a child-minded psychopath well aware of the issues of her looks to the extent that she desires her sister’s beauty, and willfully kills anyone acknowledging them, and she would still consider your sledgehammer wank-desperation of flattery as an insult from a lesser life form. You really only have the one type, don’t you? The same giggling and blushing template of a demure wallflower bimbo with type-weaknesses to muscles and compliments. You literally can’t expand your characterization of your blowup dolls beyond it even if your life depended on it!

Later

"You don't have to carry me you know." Mileena said to Sean as he carried her to the living room and sat her down on the couch.

"I don't have to but I want to since you cant walk right for a few more hours. So how exactly did your face end up like this?" Sean asked.

Are you asking for a friend, Sean, or do you imagine the author won’t play it off as a totally legit body issue you can just fix, unless you are being invasively direct about her blowjob-blockers?

"Kitana didn't tell you?" Mileena asked.

"Tell me what?" Sean asked.

"I'm not exactly her sister at least not fully. You see I'm basically a clone of sorts but with certain modifications. I have half of my sisters DNA and another half of my DNA is Tarkata which have these sharp teeth." Mileena said pointing to her mouth.

Are we sure that’s the only place her DNA gave her teeth? Just saying, she’s still kind of a too-good-to-be-true result from basically throwing together a couple of blood samples of a human and a walking multi switch-blade alien.

"I assume that it can get annoying sometimes with that right." Sean said making her shrug.

"I wouldn't mind having a normal mouth like my sister to have more how should I say...Intimate times with a partner." Mileena said making him smirk.

That’s coming from the chick who sounds like she derives pleasure with every brutality she performs.

"You mean like this." Sean said kissing where her lips would be making her eyes widen slightly before giggling a little.

"Yeah." Mileena said giggling more.

"I might be able to fix that. Hang on a second." Sean said heading off.

Are we even supposed to guess this next asspull of idiocy? The only thing that can be up for debate is whether Sean farted it out immediately upon getting the thought, or just happened to have it lying around for no reason. Because if the author had merely left out Mileena’s butterface to begin with, Sean would have no bait for his hook and wouldn’t know how to reel the bitch in.

A few minutes passed and Sean came back with some kind of paper in his hand. "Call it Photostatic Veil. Basically allows those who have this on to copy the face of certain individuals or change their faces to hide in plain sight." Sean said.

Another piece of S.H.I.E.L.D. technology the author believes his self-insert can just proclaim himself the owner of whenever convenient, of course.

"And you think this is going to work on me?" Mileena asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Only one way to find out." Sean said putting it on her face and pressed a button on a remote before her mouth turned into that of a normal one.

"Wow." Mileena said in surprise and happiness. Soon Sean's phone went off.

You are a damn idiot, author. A damn idiot and a hack with no clue what you’re applying in order for you to excuse your spank material feigning affection for your bankrupt ingenuity. The nano mask is just that; a mask. Granted, it allows for mimicry of a person’s visible features and voice through a DNA sample, of which it then shouldn’t do jack shit at all unless your unexplained production of it included Kitana’s blood, but it still doesn’t spontaneously construct a pair of lips and cheeks out of thin air for her to use or change what’s underneath it!! I’m just full of revelations this chapter. This is how you operate on the difficult cases, I realize. Like with Poison Ivy you fake a forced issue Sean can garner pussy-points for, which he just hand-waves a solution to, pretending its fixed only to move on and hope everyone including yourself forgets you fudged it, rather than actually making a valid and even benefiting journey of fictional plots to garner interest in the story, rather than a quick screw and moving on to the next half-baked mess of sexploitation!!

"Yeah?" Sean said.

"Sean I've just recreated the portal to send Kitana Jade and Mileena back home." Jerry said.

Yeah, okay, so by ‘Later’ in your time skip, you meant a fucking week at minimum, author? WOOHP just got wind of inter-dimensional travel and wings it in record time because you asked nicely, or something?

"Alright then we'll be right there." Sean said. "Guess your going home already." Sean said.

"To bad I kinda like it here." Mileena said.

And I’m so glad the author made it clear that you in no way were still fervently and devotedly allied with your father who seeks to conquer and enslave this realm, Jaws. Oh, wait.

Later

"Ok lets go." Sean said.

"Your coming with us?" Kitana asked.

"If Micheal Kree knew about Outworld before us he clearly has plans for your home so better I warn your father before he attacks." Sean said.

Oh yeah, let’s warn the inter-dimensional, iron-fist ruling, world conquering by brute force despot, that a random Earthrealm scientist is interested in his hell dimension – what the fuck is going on here, author, you delusional pissant? Were you that thirsty for ninja babes that you turned Outworld into the equivalent of fucking Equestria?!

"He has a point." Jade said.

"Very well lets go." Kitana said as they stepped through the portal.

"Home sweet...Home?" Mileena said once they saw a few outworld warriors on the ground. Alive but knocked out with some sort of metal collars on their necks.

"The hell?" Sean said ripping it off one of them that was a Tarkata known as Baraka.

Don’t do this, author. You have to be an asinine dingbat with the mentality of a five year old to spin Outworld as the good guys in need of help! I could barely stomach the idea of Sean excusing himself to endless gory fatalities, but you’ve neutered even the most basic of premises that would actually grant you combat scenes in this boring tripe of a fanfic filled with fetish-reruns. You suck. I’m frankly so disappointed in you that you don’t even deserve extravagant insults right now. You just plainly suck.

"What?" Baraka said getting his strength back.

"Baraka what happened here?" Jade asked.

"Jade Kitana Mileena

Well, apparently Baraka can see through nano masks, when the author isn’t masturbating.

I was wondering where you three went. Who is he?" Baraka asked getting ready for a fight.

"Easy man I just took this off you." Sean said holding the collar up.

"That still doesn't explain why you are here." Baraka said.

It explains nothing, actually. Are we to think those are mind-control collars? Why then are these guys knocked out on the ground while wearing them?

"If it wasn't for me these three would be dead from their injuries.

Oh yeah, two of them would totally have keeled over if not from that ointment you rubbed on their sore bellies, Captain Retcon.

Now tell us what the hell is going on?" Sean asked making him sigh.

"Outworld was ambushed by humans. They used some kind of gas that took us all out before we could even fight. The last thing I remember was leading a charge against them but they used the gas against us again.

What brilliant strategy, there is just no way you could have done anything else, I’m sure. What next, author? Is Sean going to show them how to hold their breaths so they can watch him save the day?

Then you show up." Baraka said.

"Micheal Kree. He must have opened up a portal of his own to get here. It might also explain why the three of you ended up in my backyard." Sean said.

"More then likely." Kitana said.

Totes believable, guys. Kree merely opened a portal from somewhere to Outworld, and that caused these chicks to land on Sean’s doorsteps. It’s such a simple conclusion that you could have figured it out yourselves, if the author hadn’t already crammed it down your throats, in an effort to make you stop sending him what he considers dumb reviews.

"Where are the others?" Sean asked.

"I do not know. If they have come to challenge Shao Kahn they will only taste death." Baraka said.

"Not likely. If Kree was able to create this gas and knocked you all out odds are he used it against him as well." Sean said.

And why would that matter? Does the author even realize what enforces the stakes of the Mortal Kombat tournaments? Shit, I don’t even know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt of knowing there even are such a thing, since it’s now all a matter of how much he can pretend Sean impresses the latest batch of cock-warmers.

"That he did." A male voice said behind them as they turned around.

"Quan Chi?" Kitana said.

"Yes I managed to get away from these humans in a last second escape. The One you call Micheal Kree is here and has brought a small force to conquer outworld something that cannot be allowed." Quan Chi said.

The most powerful necromancer and sorcerer in the Netherrealm, fleeing by the skin of his teeth when faced with a bunch of ordinary humans utilizing gas attacks? At least have the fucking balls and brains to say Kree employed an Earthrealm assassin clan, author, you disgrace.

"Where is he and more importantly why is he here?" Sean asked.

"He is in the arena along with everyone else along with Raiden and his forces that tried to stop this fearing something terrible would happen." Quan Chi said.

Has this author never even played the games? Does he think everyone is just having a friendly Smash Bros brawl tournament for shits and giggles in them? No one can follow along, not even Sean should for all the microscopic info being dropped that constantly contradict every single continuity in this fictional universe, and it has several of them!!

"Kitana...You said there are certain laws here right?" Sean asked.

And you have no credible clue what that word entails but are going to pretend you do anyway, because the author is so marvelous in constructing his plots.

"Yes what about them?" Kitana asked.

"I see where your going with this. You intent to challenge Kree to a mortal Kombat challenge." Quan Chi said. "The rules state that whoever wins the challenge is granted what they request from the Elder Gods. But are you strong enough to defeat him is the question?" Quan Chi said.

Image

I rarely get angry at fanfics. Disgusted, sometimes. Annoyed, mostly. But this right here, this self-pleasing vomit stain the author has presented, is an insult. And I’m mad. Just like everything else, the author can’t establish any opposition, strips his source material of 95% of its content, just so he can masturbate to a new dress-up doll outfit and his imaginary übermench persona’s wish-fulfillment life-style. And the latest victim that the author has murdered so as to rape its carcass for his own personal pleasure, is Mortal Kombat. This misogynistic hemorrhoid of a fanfic author turns a universe of inter-dimensional tournament fighting into his personal masturbation sock, by reducing a system of a generational-held, ten-time winning streak competition prize of dimensional conquering rights as decreed by elder gods, into a genie wish granted after any numbskull with half a brain cell declares a thumb-war!! There could actually have been something here!! The author could have sated his blood-lust and boner with an actual combat tournament, let Sean flex his immoral nature and injected a slew of catfights, but no, just like with the telegraphed amateur-hour murder mystery in Total Drama Island, this will be another half-chapter conflict followed up by a two-chapter pussy-cruise because this pathetic power fantasy kisses its own putrid asshole in order to suck out the scum leftover from the last pile of shit it presented to its readers!!

"Spartans are never defeated by the likes of him ever." Sean said.

You’ve never even met the guy, Sean, and he knows your genetic makeup. Stop announcing your obvious victory already and at least pretend the myth of tension is real in this fanfic.

In the Arena

"You will pay for this!" Shao Kahn yelled in rage as Blood was extracted from him.

This is so stupid and forced I don’t even believe the author will ever give an explanation for the blood draining, because there is literally no reason for Kree to be here besides allowing Sean to get Mortal Kombat babes in his harem.

"Oh do shut up." Micheal Kree said wearing a mask on his face.

Because finally describing a single feature of this guy would be too much at this point.

"Where are the ones known as Kitana Mileena and Jade?" Kree asked one of his troops.

"Still no sign of them." The trooper said.

"Looking for us?" Mileena asked as she Kitana and Jade stood in the stands.

"Ah so nice for you to join us." Kree said.

Yeah, yeah, insert Scorpion catchphrase here, let’s just get this over with.

"Kitana you need to Run!" Sindel yelled but one of the troops hit her in the head with the bottom of his gun.

"Enough!" Sean yelled walking into the arena with Baraka and Quan Chi.

Well, you know, this team-up does sort of make sense, despite the author’s ignorance of it.

"Well well well. Of everyone I was expecting to see today you were not one of them." Kree said amused.

"So your Micheal Kree? I was expecting someone powerful not some worthless nobody." Sean said making Kree scoff.

I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure by your own admission that’s what you were expecting regardless of your first meeting, Sean.

"Your to young to understand what real power is." Kree said.

Stop heckling the author, Kree, that’s my job.

"Oh Really then why did you try to capture me a few months ago oh wait thats right you need my blood in order to make the human race immortal." Sean said surprising everyone even Raiden and Shao Kahn.

Wait, that’s his actual plan? I guess I should have figured the aimless blathering back in Las Vegas had some context, but at most it just sounded like the typical guffawing taking-over-the-world-by-my-glory spiel, with Sean’s immortality as an afterthought through which he would do it.

"How you survived the experiment to gain that gift I'll never know and honestly I don't care. You hold the very secret to immortality and yet you don't spread that gift to Earth." Kree said.

I’m sorry, but what part of getting himself a harem doesn’t speed along that eventuality?

"For good reasons. Earth isn't ready for immortality since Earth would over populate in years and thats something that cant happen. Enough of that though your going to stop this nonsense now." Sean said.

"Oh hows that?" Kree said smugly.

"I know all the rules to this place unlike you do.

How do you know that, you bozo? The guy presumably discovered this dimension, breached through to it, and knew enough about it to target its ruler and minions with gas attacks, to drain blood and use collars for whatever nefarious purpose the author has probably already lost track of and never even cared about.

I know when a change of high stakes is placed these Elder Gods grant the demands of victor of a mortal Kombat challenge." Sean said. "Isn't that correct Raiden?" Sean asked the thunder god.

"It is true once a challenge has been accepted the demands of the victor are given by the Elder gods." Raiden said.

"Then a challenge must be accepted." Shao Kahn said since every challenge in this arena had to be accepted or face death.

How about Sean actually announced a challenge, or is the author too busy masturbating to his own make-believe, wish-giving bullshit to remember he never made one?!

"You worthless little..." Kree said in anger seeing he was played.

"Don't blame me for your stupidity."

Are you done rewriting every instance you had Sean go ‘neener-neener’ now, author?

Sean said as the area was engulfed in yellow lightning as the Elder Gods appeared.

"The Challenge will be accepted. Sean Ashburn Kruger of Earth will face Micheal Kree of Earth name the terms." The Elder gods said.

"If I win You and those who follow you can never set foot in Outworld or any of the other Realms ever again you and those who will follow you will die the second you step foot here or anywhere else." Sean said.

Leave it to this brain-dead, self-indulgent simpleton of an author to forget how you win at Mortal Kombat. You kill your opponent, dipshit!!

"And if I win you will surrender yourself so I can start what my mentor started on you." Kree said.

Not finish it, mind you, just start it all over again.

"The Terms have been accepted let the match BEGIN!" The Elder gods yelled as They charged at each other with Sean having the best edge due to him limitless strength and stamina.

Oh, yeah, wow, I had totally forgotten about that, and here I was thinking these two would be fighting on equal footing or something, and not just be the author playing a game with cheat codes on.

Kree was thrown into a wall coughing up blood before shooting his guns at him but they just bounced off him. "What?" Kree said in shock.

"Well thats new." Sean said in surprise but just shrugged it off before grabbing the ground and lifted a large chunk of the ground up and threw it at him nearly crushing him.

”Well, look at that, turns out I’m a Superman knock-off now. Oh well, better pretend this was not already evident so I can keep pretending I’m an interesting character.”

"No more! I surrender." Kree said as he was engulfed in a sphere along with his followers as they vanished.

Not even a damn gas attack? Can you not even pad out the conflict for the quarter of a chapter, let alone a fight scene longer than a paragraph, author?

"What the? Where did they go?" Sean asked.

"Back to Earth Realm." Raiden said as he and the others were freed.

As if it doesn’t piss me off enough that all the author can present is the God of Thunder having his hands tied behind his back or something after a gas attack, up until now the descriptions put Raiden ambiguous enough to have arrived alongside Kree on his side.

"The Terms of the challenge were that they could never set foot back here again if you were victorious." Raiden said.

"I Should have added also with his death. Great so much for ending his life." Sean said.

”I mean, it made so much sense with my demands if I killed him, after all.” Stop insulting everything through every act you do to pretend you crafted a plot-line, author. Smearing your dick against it is bad enough as it is, without having you fart out a pretend-conflict that consciously cripples itself, in order to keep it from reaching a logical conclusion when you pit ants against a your god-suit self-insert, you absolute fraud!

"You hold a person grudge against him." Raiden said seeing them much.

"Against him personally no. Who his mentor was on the other hand yes." Sean said.

”Whatever that guy’s name was, who cares, this is my harem fanfic, it’s not like the author has to make up something original.”

Later

"So this Micheal Kree wishes to use your blood to make all of Earth Realm immortal. How is this possible?" Shao Kahn asked sitting on his throne again along with Raiden and others.

”And I’m totally not asking to have my minion Shan Tsung replicate the results in his Flesh Pits.”

"Its um complicated I was very young when the experiment happened but it wasn't originally used to make me immortal." Sean said.

Uhuh, so it just happened on accident then? What more must I suffer from this Neanderthal’s deliberately ambiguous power-endowment background?

"Then what was it for?" Kitana asked.

"I was uh dying to say the least. I was infected with an extremely rare disease that had no cure but the person who experimented on me was someone close to me. He wouldn't accept that there wasn't a cure for what I had. He spent weeks in his lab trying to find a cure till he succeeded. However the cure he gave me had a few side effects." Sean said.

You’d think with all this on your plate, you’d be able to remember the guy’s name, you retconning shit stain.

"Your immortality." Sindel said.

"Yes and no. Apparently the immortality needed time to develop inside me. The other side effects you've already witnessed out there." Sean said pointing to the arena.

”But I’m still completely crediting everything about me to my Spartan genes, guys, there’s no doubt about that.”

"Enhanced strength." Raiden said.

"Not just that. Unlimited Stamina and endurance immunity to disease and poisons increased intelligence by 25 and then the newest one that apparently just developed today unbreakable skin or at least I think so." Sean said.

Just remember to wipe off your keyboard when you had your copy-paste power-endowment listing tug-job, author.

"And where is the person who experimented on you?" Shao Kahn asked.

"Dead At least I hope so. When I got out of the labs I told my parents exactly what happened and they went to confront him and the lab just blew up. Whoever Micheal Kree is said he was a disciple of the same man who did this to me.

Doctor No-name must have been using the same ‘self-destruct facility at wrong password’-app that Kree’s associate did.

I never once heard about him till a few months ago on one of my missions. For him to get here however though thats very concerning." Sean said.

"Where would he most likely be then?" Quan Chi asked.

"If I knew that do you think this would happen? I have no idea where the hell is he." Sean said.

So much so that all this part of the chapter is, is to repeat what we already know to keep confirming that there is totally an exclusively clever plot going on, which can excuse this lemon-fic to keep going and permitting the self-insert to have anything the author wants.

"Then it would seem we all have a common enemy." Shao Kahn said.

"Meaning?" Raiden said.

"He managed to conquer Outworld in mere hours not days or weeks." Shao Kahn said.

Only because this entire chapter is set in My Little Pony land should I have chosen to rename everyone here, and no one would have been able to tell the difference.

"So what your just going to help me find him? Its not that easy. I cant just go from place to place to look for him doing what I please.

You just summarized your entire shtick better than I ever did, Sean.

There are laws that prevent me from doing that same as you. But perhaps there is another option." Sean said.

"Oh and what would that be?" Raiden asked.

Does it involve that Strip Club that still hasn’t gotten the attention the author promised he’d give to it ten chapters ago?

Later

"You cant be serious?" Sam said in disbelief. Sean had proposed an alliance of sorts with the Earth. While Shao Kahn was a conquer he also had his honorable side in paying a debt to those who earned one from him.

Image

There are times where this author presents the most comedic sentences in his work, and then I have to remind myself that he’s being serious in order to sustain his boner.

So Earth Realm was no longer in danger from his conquests.

Where was the danger if a gas attack is all it takes to thwart Outworld, author, you pea-brain?

The Alliance would be a secret for now since not everyone was ready to hear about other worlds.

They are however more than ready to hear about secret spy missions directly from Sean’s mouth while in the field and on air during live reporting.

"What did you expect I'm always doing the impossible here and there." Sean said making her grin.

"Define the imposible?" Jade asked as she walked into the room in regular clothes dried in shorts and a black sports bra.

Whatever the author has Sean do in his place without an ounce of credibility, so let’s start with attracting women and go on from there.

"Lets see where do I begin." Sam said. "Becoming immortal which he plans to share with us in the harem." Sam said making Jade smirk. "Has unlimited physical strength stamina endurance and increased intelligence and now apparently is bullet prof. Whats next copying other peoples powers?" Sam asked

Author, stop puppeteering Sam to make your lame and non-veiled power-fantasy splurge foreshadowing, when she still lives in a world where she has seen no ‘powers’ to speak of. You couldn’t even make a single Mortal Kombat character do anything in this chapter, either!!

making him smirk before she squealed in shock as her skirt was ripped off with his foot leaving everything from the waist down of her body exposed not that she minded since she would walk in public naked if she could.

I see the author’s dick demanded the off-handed mention of skin and another bookend pretend-exhibition declaration, having gone bored from the other types of stroking it’s been given.

"Keep being a smart ass and you'll get punished in a way you don't like." Sean said making her pout while Jade giggled as Sam walked away not bothering to put her skirt back on.

"By the way I forgot to give you something." Jade said.

A location, a time of day, a rough description of where you are going and what you are even doing here, the list goes on.

"Oh yeah what?" Sean asked before she kissed him lovingly.

"Thats for healing us and saving our home." Jade said making him smirk before Alex squealed in excitement.

"What is it?" Sean asked walking into the room.

"Check it out!" Alex squealed as the news told them about a petition of people who signed for public nudity in beverly hills area.

Image

I’m frankly running out of things to say about this author’s pathetic horny fever dream put up on the Internet. Nothing about it impresses, nothing about it is original, nothing about it is even remotely believable. This isn’t a fanfic, plain and simple. It’s an immature piece of written smut, only adult in the sense that its unsuitable for young – if any – audience, with name-tags for known fictional characters spliced in once in a while onto unrecognizable, featureless, identical, and recycled flesh-lights.

"I feel like you've turned them all into horny sexual Nymphs." Kitana said amused dressed in black jeans and a black shirt.

And I feel like all that effort to get you home was for nothing, since you’re hanging around here without as much as an excuse.

"I can see why." Mileena said dressed in purple shorts and a purple sports bra.

"Ha ha ha." Sean said amused making them giggle.

Meanwhile

Raiden was in his usual place mediating.

It’s funny that you somehow think anyone will believe that you know what’s ‘usual’ in Mortal Kombat, author.

"Is something wrong Raiden?" Lui Kang asked his master.

"Not exactly. Sean said the person who experimented on him was trying to cure him of a rare disease but my question is who this person was." Raiden said.

"Why not ask him?" Lui Kang asked.

"I did he would not tell me and his associates would not tell as well either because they themselves did not know or would not say. Whoever it was, was clearly very close to him." Raided said.

You think you can make this a plot point without coming off as the most obnoxiously pretentious bullshitter with his head up his own ass, author? Subtlety like yours could overshadow a nuclear explosion.

"Perhaps in time he will." Lui Kang said.

"Perhaps but whoever it was caused him a great amount of pain and I fear if this person is still alive will take him down the path of vengeance and consume him." Raiden said.

Oh no, he might become an asshole who swears a lot while indiscriminately using his muscles to force everyone to obey his will and demand riches and bitches for his every indulgences - but this time with a whiplash mustache!

"I would not worry to much of that." Quan Chi said approaching. "From the information I have gathered on him and his people they all follow a code of honor. He will not follow a path of revenge unless something drastic happened to him and those he cares about." Quan Chi said.

So I guess there’s no reason to worry about this supposedly very close, unnamed mystery person that cause him pain, who you were discussing moments ago could be coming back. Fuck you and your self-contradictory nonsense melodrama, author.

"Then I pray that never happens." Raiden said.

Authors Note: Sorry I've been quiet for so long I was cursed with a writers worst enemy...WRITERS BLOCK!

I can’t wait for you to realize you never defeated your arch nemesis Bad Grammar.

Also I got distracted by the old Anime series known as Elfen Lied which I'm planing on making a story of. Anyway Next chapter I'm going to be a sex chapter and involving a few ideas from my friend Cloud4012 with Sabine and I'm going to be adding a few other girls from Lyoko Johnny Test X men Evolution and Star wars.

And I’m sure the execution and integration will be as fucking seamless as your comma-free sentences.

See ya oh and if you like my crossover harem for the Rider of the league please vote in the newest poll. Read Review and Vote see ya.

Rider of the League? Don’t tell me you turned Sean into Ghost Rider. Every time Ghost Rider has been involved in fanfics I mock, it was never actually about Ghost Rider.

Image

And the list has remained unchanged. Oh, yeah, don't think I didn't notice the author dropped Mileena, Kitana, and Jade off on Sean's doorstep, after having pretended the whole plot had been that they were to return home. They are just there, for all anyone could want to infer because they can mooch off his estate. They never even got mentioned as becoming part of the harem. The author has become so lazy that he won't even bother pointing his dick in their direction and claim them for himself. And so, they won't be added to the list for now. Oh, but I added Mortal Kombat as a whole, screwed over and killed off, because that was how this fetid fap-failiure of an author left it in the dust, and he's not even done!! Three more chapters, from 28 to 30, are titled Mortal Kombat. What elder god did I piss off to deserve this?

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Re: New Spy

Post by Dashguy » Mon Jul 23, 2018 9:24 am

"Check it out!" Alex squealed as the news told them about a petition of people who signed for public nudity in beverly hills area.
Here's a little experiment for you: go walk a couple of blocks around your neighborhood, preferably on a time of the day when there are a lot of people around, then go back home and think about how many of those people you would like to see naked. I guarantee the number will be lower than twelve.

I work on an office with about fifty other people. Out of those fifty, fifteen are women and out of those fifteen there are only two I would like to see naked. The idea that everything would be better if we went around naked can only come from a monumental moron or a twelve years-old who just discovered nudist porn.

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ConcernedGamer
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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sat Jul 28, 2018 8:05 am

Dashguy wrote:
Mon Jul 23, 2018 9:24 am
The idea that everything would be better if we went around naked can only come from a monumental moron or a twelve years-old who just discovered nudist porn.
I feel you hit the nail on the head, Dashguy. The author seems to be enamored with nudity as a concept wihout thinking it through. More so, there's even no point to it in this fanfic beyond titillating the author who describes none of it, while he's gotten public nudity ass-backwards. If public nudity was permitted, or made ordinary like it is for tribes people in some countries, it would be indicative of broad bodily acceptance and therefore rendering nudity as mundane, yet the author still wants to pass it off as naughty, having his tit-cake and eating it, too.

Mortal Kombat was murdered, public nudity is now likely mandatory in Sean's presence, and my distaste for this fanfic will never end. Let's get moving and expect the worst has yet to come, just to be safe. Here's Chapter 27, Living the life.

Chapter 27 Living the life

I’m willing to bet that nothing new has happened to warrant the title, as Sean’s whole identity could have allowed it to be used on every chapter before it, and every single one in the future.

"Seriously?" Sean said amused as Alex and Clover walked into the school building nude since the area was finally allowed public nudity.

"What not like your complaining." Clover said. However they heard Mandy scream since while she walked to public nude she couldn't handle the looks people were giving her and rushed out.

If it were the kind of looks you would give her, author, who can blame her?

"Disgusting." Sean said making the girls laugh

We are seriously going into nondescript body-shaming now, with the author’s ass-kissing giggle-bitches intoning their full chortles merely for his open dismissal and distaste of the ‘unworthy’, for the sole crime of not satisfying the author’s crotch worm’s vapid cravings? Petty, misogynistic, and mean spirited, oh how I wonder what the author wants anyone to like about Sean.

before they got to their art class with a few other naked girls.

"Alright class today we're going to be doing something special." The Female Teacher said as a woman with blue and orange hair tan skin and brown eyes walked in nothing but a small blue robe. "This is Sabine Waren a art specialist who offered to help in todays assignment." The Teacher said.

Freshly flown in from Star Wars Rebels, where I’m sure her art specialist talents were on point. It’s not that anyone is surprised, but it bears repeating that this author doesn’t care about these characters, beyond slapping a wig and a fresh coat of paint on the stolen store mannequin he keeps next to his computer.

"Hundred bucks says its nude art." Sean whispered to the girls who giggled.

Sabine soon took off her robe leaving her body fully exposed.

"Called it." Sean said as they handed him money.

Does this author even know that people have to have reason to accept a bet before doing so? And if nude art is so intriguing, how about they look out a window rather than have the author thinking an art specialist is the same as a professional nude model?

An hour passed before the class ended.

"Times up now lets see who did the best." The Teacher said looking around. "Well Done Ashburn." The Teacher said as his painting was almost to realistic.

Because of course the wealthy, super powered, insatiable sex-dynamo, chick-magnet muscle-mountain is an artistic savant, too. These are lengths of wish-fulfillment that parody works don’t even bother stretching for.

"Well I try." Sean said before class ended.

"I'll help clean up." Sabine said putting her robe back on.

"I'll stay and help out since we only have one more class which is study hall." Sean said making Sabine smirk.

"Oh I know where this is going." Clover said making the girls giggle.

Jerry blue-balling Sean by annoying him with yet another world-spanning spy-catastrophe?

Hours later

Sean and Sabine were still in the art room talking about their likes and dislikes.

"So why did you want to be an artist?" Sean asked her as he picked up the paint.

She’s on the wrong side of the canvas, you mud brain. Models practice posing for a living, author. You’d know this if you had actually bothered learning something pertaining to nudity itself.

"Ive always been interested in art since I was a little kid. And when I got older I discovered a few things to make things interesting." Sabine said.

"Define interesting."

Define for me a lame repeated verbal cue that prompts the next piece of dialogue or action, because the author can’t be assed to progress things any differently.

Sean asked making her smirk before taking off her robe.

"Want me to show you?" Sabine asked making him smirk before she went into the cabinet and pulled out some cans of spray pain.

For when breaking a hymen doesn’t have the expected effect.

"Every heard of nude body art?" Sabin asked throwing him the cans.

"Oh I see where you're going with this." Sean said shaking the can up a little.

You sound like you think her words are a riddle, Sean. People want to fuck you, you not only know that, you are fine with it, yet you pretend to be naïve up until they use anything shy of a signal flare.

"Uh wait you don't want to..." Sabin tried to say before the can exploded and sprayed paint everywhere. ",,,Do that."

Oh, yeah, that highly volatile spray can which she just tossed to him can’t take a minor jostle, despite the fact that spray cans need to be fucking shaken when used, author, you ignorant prat.

Sabin said as Sean blinked a few times before he snickered a little before bursting out in a fit of laughter making her smile and giggle herself.

"By the way nice new look." Sean said making her look down and laugh even more as her entire body was a giant rainbow before she got an idea in her head and walked over to him with a seductive way.

Unless you are about to demand Sean taste the rainbow, what is even the point of this ridiculous setup, where your childish need for Warner Bros. cartoon logic is taking precedence over logic in this fanfic, author?

Sean looked at her as she sat on his lap before leaning forward and kissed him and moaned as he moved his tongue around her mouth.

"Wow you sure know how to kiss a girl." Sabine said making him smirk.

"Well having a harem does help." Sean said making her smirk.

Sure, and if the author hadn’t given you invulnerability as your starting power –because of course that was never going to be just the one – your lips and tongue would have been raw from the authors allude to yet completely absent snogging sessions with nearly fifty women.

"Oh really and how many girls do you have with you?" Sabine asked.

"Um lets see here um 47 if I recall correctly since the numbers get bigger every day."

You can really feel how they all have a special place in his heart by him hesitating twice on the count.

Sean said making her smirk even more before pulling his jacket off along with his shirt and licked her lips seeing his muscled chest.

"I can see why." Sabine said moving her hands around his muscles while softly moaning from the hard muscles before she yelped as she was on the floor on her stomach before he unzipped his pants and brought his cock out and rubbed it against her ass cheeks making her moan softly before he slowly inserted himself into her wet panted sex making her gasp in shock and bliss as her eyes widened in pleasure before she whimpered and grunted with each thrust he gave her sending waves of bliss into her body.

Really, author? Only 89 words with no punctuation? How are you going to reach 100 at this rate? I’m sure you could have thrown in another mention of Sean’s muscles or a few more ‘before’, ‘moan’, or an extra ‘bliss’, you word-regurgitating oaf!

"Funny I would have thought you'd be a virgin." Sean said not seeing any blood.

It’s funny that you think blood is mandatory even if she was. Wait, no, it’s not funny. The opposite of that.

"Oh I am I just broke my barrier from my own toys." Sabine said before gasping as he spanked her ass hard leaving a red hand print.

"To bad I would have loved to take it for myself." Sean said in her ear making her shiver in lust before he pounded into her even harder.

See, what you think makes you sound naughty or kinky, is nothing but an admission of considering the act as nothing more than a validation process, a benchmark akin to uncorking a wine bottle without even pouring yourself a glass, merely because you don’t want anyone else to taste it.

"I still got one hole for you to take." Sabine said between thrusts as her ass smacked against his waist with each thrust.

Oh, does that one have a barrier for him to breach?

"Oh I intend to but in front of a small audience to show the others your mine and mine alone."

This has started to sound like Sabine never read the fine print of an ass-contract she never signed in the first place.

Sean said making her scream in bliss as she soon came hard and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt him come inside her womb.

"Oh I cant feel my legs." Sabine said in bliss before Sean zipping his pants up and put his shirt back on despite it being covered in paint and put her robe back on and picked her up bridal style.

Later

"Oh who's this now?" Stella asked Sean who put his clothes in the laundry since they were covered in paint.

"Oh you know just a new addition."

Yup, just another slut for the pile, thrown in and forgotten like the rest of the mountain of supposedly constantly naked flesh. No reason to give anyone the feeling that your new key-chain has a name, Sean.

Sean said making her smirk before she saw they were both covered in paint.

"You need to clean yourselves up." Stella said.

"Oh I intend to." Sean said as he took her and Sabine to the shower.

We can only assume they came along willingly, because they never got established to have the ability to object.

Sabine whimpered in bliss before grunting as the sounds of her ass smacking against Sean's waist was heard in the shower. She was on her front as sean slammed down into her second virgin hole that while it did hurt she loved the pain. Stella made use of her mouth on her pussy and moaned from her skilled tongue. Clover and Izzy each kissed her neck lovingly making Sabine moan even louder into Stella's pussy.

And Clover and Izzy just teleported in, materialized from the ether, or crawled out of the drain of the shower location that’ll still never be relevant, merely by the virtue of the author’s constant thirst.

"Oh yeah thats it Sabine eat me out." Stella said before Nomi came in and started playing with her breasts making Stella moan louder before Nomi pulled her into a kiss.

Oh, writing sex scenes must be so challenging for you, author, when your orgy come preinstalled with a revolving door for any name-tag wearing piece of trash to wander in and participate.

Izzy soon got an idea and placed Sabin's right hand on her pussy and she got the massage and fingered her making Izzy moan while Clover did the same.

Sorry, did Clover also moan, finger her, or get the massage, you grammar degenerate?

Behind Sean Sam and Lindsay started kissing her feet making Sabine squirm around a little from her sensitive spots on her feet.

Sean started thrusting faster into Sabine before he let out a loud grunt and came inside her making Sabine scream into Stella's pussy making her come in her mouth. Sabine being overwhelmed by the blissful excitement she was receiving blacked out in the shower.

I swear, it’s like the author has this fear that unless he knocks out these cock-wipes, they’ll just get up and walk off saying “So long and thanks for all the dick”.

"Aw she passed out." Stella said as Sean pulled out of her and Stella held Sabine close while kissing her forehead.

Meanwhile

"Liu Kang said you wished to speak to me?" Raiden said to a man who had horrible burn marks on his face.

Why the fuck are we back here already?!

"Yes its about Sean. No doubt he's already told you about what happened to him when he was younger." The man said confusing Raiden and the other Earth realm warriors.

"Yes how did you know about that?" Raiden asked.

"I was the one who experimented on him. I'm his brother. Freddy Kruger." Freddy said making him narrow his eyes.

Image

Freddy Krueger. Some of you might still remember my alluded mention of Sean’s brother back in the opening of Chapter 1. This is it. And I must admit I myself had blissfully forgotten the possibility of this springing up in this fanfic. But here it is. It’s going to be just as neutered and fake as the rest, I guess, because all this author gets out of it, is the mention of burn scars and a subjectively cool name. Because otherwise a dream-traveling pedophilic murderer would be a dead ringer for Kree’s medical mentor who made Sean immortal and super powered, right?

"You have a lot of nerve admitting what you've done without any remorse." Raiden said.

Hey, I was about to say that to the author, but Raiden beat me to it.

"Look you've got it all wrong. I only experimented on him to cure him. What brother wouldn't do whatever he could do to save his younger sibling." Freddy said making Raiden's glare lessen.

"Then explain the rest of the experiment involving the immortal blood inside him." Raiden said.

"Originally that wasn't supposed to happen. I don't know what I did to make that happen I was only trying to cure him." Freddy said.

Oh boy, doesn’t that sound contrived and convenient? Sean has super powers for no reason. No reason what so ever. It’s like the author gets off on making it as blatant as possible how much of a Marty Stu his skin-suit is.

"So him becoming immortal was an accident?" Liu Kang asked in surprise.

"Yes however though I saw it as a gift and gave him some enhancements. But the parts that he told you about wasn't by me. Kree was the one who did that using a photostatic vail which allows..." Freddy tried to say.

I guess you can buy them in bulk at Sparta’s sex-drug market, because at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sean only has five sluts hanging around and two of them keep putting on this wondrous mask to fool him, since it’s now used as an excuse to wash your friendly neighborhood Freddy Krueger’s hands of Sean’s power-endowment torture, and blame it all as random sadism from Dr. Bad-Guy-Because-The-Author-Said-So Kree. Fuck you, author. You shit on everything and drag your fanfic through it twice for your own personal amusement, just so you can have not-Freddy give not-Spartan Sean his not-powers, so he could fool the not-Spies into having not-sex, while the not-plot keeps shipping not-characters into a not-harem. This whole fucking fanfic is one big negation of everything fiction stands for.

"We know what that is. Mileena wears one that he gave her to have a normal life in earth realm. But why did he experiment on your brother posing as you?" Raiden asked.

"Would you have someone you don't know experimenting on you?

Do you think anyone on death’s doorstep will bother getting to know their doctor, author?

Kree was once my most trusted friend and comrade. But he got power hungry and learned about the end result of my experiment I even have come to the conclusion that he might have been the one to give my brother the virus that would have taken his life if I didn't make him what he is today." Freddy said.

Because every tragedy can now be blamed on this flimsy, fake antagonist whose character is as thin as the magic nano mask the author keeps pulling from his ass. Why do you retcon everything to make it even less plausible than it already was, author?

"So why come to us? Why not tell him what really happened?" Raiden asked.

"I'm not like him I'm not fighter and the second he sees me he'll try to kill me no matter what I say plus he's in danger." Freddy said confusing them.

I guess they were confused by the fact that this not-fighter did pretty well in Mortal Kombat X.

"Him in danger? Yeah right. I don't know if you've noticed but your little brother is a major league badass and shrugged off bullets from Kree like it was nothing when they bounced off him." Jax said.

Glad to know you are also happen to be here Jax, but I’m not sure I can say you were present in the previous chapter.

"Thats whys he's in danger. Look that ability he has was supposed to happen but not this soon." Freddy said.

"Wait you planed that?" Sonya asked.

Did they all get an invitation since the previously secretive Freddy can just show up and have you all in one place for a debriefing?

"No I checked the new results from a friend in Sparta once he got new samples of his blood. His body is evolving to humanities final stage meaning he's going to start exhibiting new abilities in many forms from having unbreakable skin to god knows what else." Freddy said.

This randomly flung-in word ‘evolve’ is already giving me a headache without it being the final stage of ‘humanities’. If that is the case, Kree’s vilified intents are anything but. Even the over-population spiel is contrived and dumb because I’m already convinced Sean can survive in the vacuum of space!

"Why is that a concern?" Raiden asked.

"Those powers are evolving to fast every time he fights which considering his life style is daily.

Does he kick the ass of any bum he passes on his way to the school, or are we suspecting domestic abuse when a random harem chick considers leaving him?

I need your help." Freddy said pulling out a syringe. "This syringe will slow down his evolution rate back on a slower and more stable pace. But I need him weakened enough for that to happen. And theres only one way for that to happen." Freddy said.

"Through combat. You want us to start up a new Mortal Kombat tournament to weaken him enough for you to inject the syringe into him to stabilize his powers evolution." Kung Lao said.

Let me list off Sean’s powers, since the author has already forgotten despite repeating them. Immunity to anything. Increased intelligence – 0 times 125% and all that. Ten times human physical attributes, and UNLIMITED stamina and endurance – two traits that some even take as synonymous, but this author was thorough, even before he made Sean’s skin impenetrable in the previous chapter. He’s more overpowered than Superman, because he has no weaknesses. And now the author thinks he can convince us that fighting is going to weaken Sean? His head has gotten so far up his own ass that he sees the world upside down.

"Yes but the problem is that there isn't enough of you here or in outworld to weaken him enough to that state." Freddy said.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. There are other realms in which we may find warriors to fight and weaken him enough for this to work." Raiden said in thought.

How about informing Freddy’s blood-sampling friend – no doubt the minute-taking doctor – to simply pass on the information? It’s not like anything else he said was put into question.

"How many realms are we talking here?" Freddy asked.

"A small few but it could work. And there are other warriors in Earth realm that could weaken him enough for this to work." Raiden said.

And we’ll just rope them all into an official Mortal Kombat tournament rather than just a friendly sparring match? Not only does our world revolve around Sean, but so must any other world. What an ego.

"It has to or he'll end up destroying himself in a year at best." Freddy said.

Later

"Huh? I thought the Mortal Kombat tournaments would end after this alliance?" Sean said to Raiden.

Did you just attest to having padded yourself on the back, thinking you stopped a multiple realm-spanning conquest-contest by invoking a nonsensical alliance between only two of the competitors, dickhead?

"This is a different tournament to show strength of the realms and hopefully draw Kree and his pawns out of hiding since he seems interested in gaining more power and knowledge hence the reason he was in outworld a week ago."

Yeah, sure, let’s pretend that was what he was there for. Did he monologue while Sean wasn’t around for it or something?

Raiden said. He already told Shao Kahn about the plan and he agreed.

"Well I've got nothing better to do so why not?

”I only fight every day, attend school, and have to be on constant standby for spy missions to save the world, and talk at minimum for one minute with each harem wench I have each day, sure I’ve got time.”

Where is it being held?" Sean asked.

"On an island owned by Shang Tsung. The tournament will begin in a week." Raiden said.

This is going to be ripping off the Mortal Kombat movie, turning its ‘So Bad, It’s Good’ quality into ‘So Bad, It’s Horrible’, isn’t it?

Authors note: Bet none of you were expecting that part now were ya?^^

Your methods of idiocy can’t be predicted, author, but my foresight of this chapter being shit was in no way a surprise.

So Freddy only gave him immortal blood and the enhancements but Kree did the more inhuman things to him.

A cop-out retcon on already intentionally too vaguely established power-up excuses, because how else were you going to smuggle in Freddy Krueger as a good guy?

I know I promised a few lemons between other girls from other series but then I decided to make this chapter more interesting.

More interesting? This is worse than I thought. This buffoon has become delusional with his own imagined grandeur, believing the majority of his readers are here for something else than vaguely mentioned tits and groin-bumping.

You'll be seeing people from many series

Such as

Code Lyoko

X men Evolution

Justice League

Avengers earths mightiest heroes

Kim Possible

Many if not all of the characters the author pulls from these series having no reasonable interest in a test of might in a stake-less tournament, despite the fact that some would be able to actually take Sean in combat and win under the right rule set. There’s not going to be any fair rules, are there? Of course not.

Naruto (all the Characters are female with only Haku and Naruko as the only gender bent characters)

Fairy tail (Same as the Naruto world)

One Piece (Same)

Avatar both the last airbender and legend of Korra (Same)

Street fighters

TMNT

Ben 10

This dog-turd of a fanfic has already introduced crossover character like mask-wearing blowup-dolls completely separated from their source material. This tournament is going to make no difference. Do you know how many of these universes would beckon for aid with an inter-dimensional air horn if they knew there were help to be gotten from outside realms, author, you catastrophically dense motherfucker?

and a few others. This is the second part of the Mortal Kombat Arc.

This could only be allowed to be called an Arc, in the same sense if I got brain-damaged enough to call all your fanfics featuring Sean a Saga.

Read Review and Vote for the poll for the crossover harem for a different army for the Jedi. See ya oh and Ero Philosopher please do tell me your ideas again since I want to make sure I get them all in one review rather then separate reviews so please do tell me your ideas along with the rest of you great loyal fans.

Because your readers have to do the work for you, don’t they, author? You are not an author, you are a human text-compiler, taking buzz-words from the peanut-gallery and filling in your own faulty, stock sentences around them.

Image

One more for the pile. I don't know more than half of these characters to be honest, but I think the author know even less than me.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Mon Aug 06, 2018 1:09 pm

The author keeps pissing into the ashes of Mortal Kombat, adding to his imagined harem in the same fashion as someone watering down your drink to the point it becomes flavorless. Here's Chapter 28, Mortal Kombat part 1.

Chapter 28 Mortal Kombat part 1

If it could serve to weed out the harem participants in a cage match, I’d be all for it, but we all know it’s only here to fill it out more.

"Holy shit this is a lot of people." Sean said as they got off one of the boats leading them to the island. "Is this really necessary?" Sean asked since the number was in the hundreds at least.

You say that as if you already know that the tournament is only about you, Sean. Let people compete, you self-absorbed fuck.

"Most of these people are from other realms here to see who is the strongest of each realm." Kung Lao said but Sean knew he was lying about something. He also knew the same about Raiden when he told him about the tournament that something was up but pushed it aside for later.

Because the only time the immortal, overpowered self-insert can be caught unawares is when the plot demands him to be knocked out from behind like a wuss.

"Whatever I..." Sean tried to say before a knife was thrown at him hitting him in the back. "Hey!" Sean yelled since while it bounced off it just plain annoyed him.

"Long time no see Kruger." A male voice said making Sean sigh and turned around and saw a man in black clothing with white skin brown hair and purple hair.

The guy switched wigs mid-sentence, apparently.

"Hello Reznov." Sean said before getting in an arm lock.

"You two know each other?" Liu Kang asked.

"His name is John Reznov. We both serve our countries military. I serve mine through the front lines while Reznov is an assassin taking out dangerous targets that threaten Russia and its allies." Sean said.

And I suppose Sparta is an ally of the Russians, too? This is just another anchor character, isn’t it, and likely with the author’s incredibly dense idea of references thrown in, by injecting the last name of a Call Of Duty character and calling it a day. I’m sure the assassin is playing it cool at first now discovering Sean is actually invulnerable.

"Surprised to see you of all people here. You rarely ever attend these events." Reznov said.

I’m sure Sean’s invitations to all the other interdimensional tournaments simply got lost in the mail.

"I had a lot of free time on my hands." Sean said before the tournament began with its speech of the purpose of why it was formed.

Which the author couldn't bother to make up and show us. It's a wonder he's able to lie to himself.

"Our first match will begin. To insure the matches are fair a system has been created to randomize the fights as well as transporting the combatants to random locations."

”It’s a really cool, when you think about it. Maybe we could, like, use the concept for a video game or something.”

Shang Tsung said though the random part was only partially true. Sean's fights would be the most often in order to weaken him enough for his brother to inject the serum into his system. "Our first match will be..." Shang Tsung said as the computer system randomized the combatants.

Okay, author, you just had ‘Shang Tsung’ and the words ‘computer system’ share the same sentence, and I want you to go check your home for a gas leak.

"Sean Ashburn Kruger against Tsunade." Shang Tsung said as Sean and a woman with blonde hair brown eyes and white skin appeared and the most distinguish detail about her would be her breasts.

Not her forehead seal, not her clothes, not the fact that she’s beyond fifty and only looks like she does because of transformation techniques. Boobs is all this author noticed,

"This should be easy." Tsunade said.

"Ugh I wish I had a million bucks every time I heard that crap." Sean said before they were sent somewhere else.

Even if you had somehow understood the basics of that statement, that you must lowball the reward to give it any impact, author, Sean’s words already rings true.

Forest area

"Ok kid show me what you got I'll even let you get a free shot." Tsunade said.

"Oh for the love of!" Sean said annoyed before punching her so hard in the stomach she went flying into the trees before a loud thud sound was heard. Tsunade came back and looked pissed off.

"Ok now I'm mad." Tsunade said cracking her neck and fingers.

"Hey you were the one who said free shot. And I was holding back a lot and besides you can really hurt me." Sean said.

Yeah, but only because your ego bruises like a peach.

"OK THATS IT!" Tsunde said rushing to him and punched him in the chest and then.^^ "OW!" Tsunade yelled in pain holding her hand.

And I guess we should add kinectic absorption to Sean’s already infinite list of super powers, because being an immortal brick doesn’t automatically stop you from entering lower orbit.

"At times like this I love the after effects of the experiment." Sean said before picking her up and slammed her on the ground before she was knocked out. "Never gets old." Sean said before they were transported back to the arena.

What never gets old to you? You invincibility, your abuse of women, or the author’s complete inability to think of these characters as anything but holders of breasts and pussies? That wasn’t even a fight! Sean just used the same effort of picking his nose to take out a character who even my limited knowledge of Naruto can tell has been a power-house able to keep up with the majority of power-escalating events of the series. And what did the author present of that? She threw one punch! No techniques. No chakra abilities on display. Here’s a spoiler for you all from the future; this was the longest match we’ll ever get to see!!

"Oh boy." Sonya said.

"I think we might have a problem if he can shrug off an attack like that." Jax said.

Did Shang Tsung install some surveillance cameras too for your convenience?

"Thats why theres so many warriors here even he cant fight them all and not feel at least slightly weakened after all the fights." Freddy said as he was covered up to not show his face.

Oh yeah. With his infinite stamina, invulnerable skin, and breathers in-between fights, it’s completely logical that Sean will be weakened by these contestants managing to land a single punch. And all this because of medical facts that for contrived reasons aren’t communicated. I’ll even bet the author has Sean ask why they didn’t bother tell him directly, just to insult the intelligence of the readers of this fanfic further.

Sean looked into they're directing and thought Freddy looked familiar but just shrugged it off.

I mean, who wouldn’t find a disguised person that you haven’t seen in at least a decade somewhat familiar? Fuck off, you author-knowledge sharing asshat.

"Our next match will be Reznov against Johnny cage." Shang Tsung said.

"Good luck Rez." Sean said.

"I don't need luck."

The author made you up, so of course you don’t.

Reznov said before he was teleported to a different area with Johnny cage.

A few moments have passed and nothing happened till Reznov and Johnny came back with the later of the two having lots of cuts on his body.

I guess they didn’t feel like surveying that fight on Shang Tsung’s jumbotron.

"What the?" Jax said before Reznov twirled some blades around in his hands.

"Impressive." Shang Tsung said.

"I'm just that good." Reznov said.

How about actually telling who won, rather than automatically thinking whoever drew first blood did, despite it being fucking obvious before the match started.

"Our next match will begin. Sean Ashburn Kruger against Sektor." Shang Tsung said.

"Been a long time Sektor." Sean said to his old friend.

"Long indeed." Sektor said with a friendly smile.

Forever, to be exact, since the author seems to be set on latching on to anything he can, like a parasite making up imaginary friends on the spot.

"Wait how do you two know each other?" Sam asked.

"Long story for another time." Sean said as they were transported away

Minutes passed and suddenly Sean and Sektor returned with the later knocked out.

For all I know, Sektor fell down some stairs and Sean scratched his ass more than usual.

"You still got a long way to go man." Sean said before he was carried away.

"So care to give us the story on how you two know each other?" Alex asked as another match began involving Liu Kang against Someone named Nightwing.

"Sektor and I didn't use to be allies back then. When we first met it we were trying to kill one another when we we're surrounded by unknown assassins leaving us no choice but to team up with one another. We realized we were stronger together rather then against one another. So a small secret alliance was made between the Lin Kuei and Sparta to take out our common enemies." Sean said before Liu Kang came back with a knocked out Nightwing.

You already have enough pretentious army backstories to make your assumed age of seventeen ridiculous, Sean. We don’t need you solving every single fucking conflict and pretending alliances just come about the single moment a faceless group of never-again explained mooks jump out of the author’s ass.

"Our next match will begin. Sean Ashburn Kruger against Sarada Uchiha."

Well, allow me to correct myself. Tsunade is around 70 years old.

Shang Tsung said as a woman about a year younger then Sean walked to the center. She had white skin black hair and black eyes with glasses on.

"This should be fun." Sean said as they were teleported away.

Minute passed like the last time and Sean came back with Sarada knocked out in his arms.

You can’t convince me Sean hasn’t spent the majority of those minutes groping the unconscious kid, since the author has obviously flip-flopped on the surveillance already.

"At this rate I'm not sure if he can be weakened enough for this to work." Jax said.

Later

The tournament was progressing pretty good so far with various people fighting. The Latest people Sean had defeated were Erza Scarlet Yumi Ishiyama Nami and Juri.

Riveting. And would it kill this author’s boner to learn what a commas is for? I’m having flashbacks to bad fanfic naming trends here. And who the hell is Scarlet?

"It would seem your younger brother is starting to wear himself out."

All that telling and not showing is certainly wearing me out.

Shang Tsung said to Freddy.

It just struck me, here’s a sentence of Shang Tsung and Freddy Krueger carrying a conversation, and neither of them are a bad guy in this fanfic.

"Good but he's not weakened enough for this to work. However though while he is in a partially weakened state the other fighters are getting tired." Freddy whispered since many of the warriors were tired.

Oh, I thought it was because it was time for them to have a nap, author, you reiterating moron.

"I agree we should resume in the morning." Raiden said.

Which will leave Sean with ample time to recover – what the hell was your plan again?

"Very well." Shang Tsung said as Sean and his latest opponent named Katara came back with the woman in his arms knocked out. "We shall resume the tournament in the morning for now all of you will she shown to your rooms." Shang Tsung said as he left while the guards showed the competitors their rooms.

”This thing will now happen.” A person said. The thing happened.

You learn to write better narratives than this in ground school, author.

Later

Sean was in his bed with a book in hand looking over some new strategies.

What’s he reading? Being a Mary Sue for Dummies?”

"Care to have some fun?" A female voice said.

"Huh?" Sean said looking up from his book and saw Juri in all her naked glory. "Whoa." Sean said amazed.

She had Mickey Mouse tattoos around her nipples and a bush not unlike a hedge. Do you just assume people pull up the same porn images you ogle, author, or are you intentionally being this lazy, just to cater to any dumb sap too dull-brained to realize they are doing all the work on these fantasies of yours?

"Like this body handsome?" Juri asked posing for him before she placed one of her tits in her mouth and sucked on it moaning slightly as she did so before getting on her hands and knees and crawled towards him.

Since we have another case of auto-cannibalism on our hands, did she crawl upside-down like in the Exorcist, and was she still chewing on her tit when she did?

She took off his shirt and shorts before licking her lips seeing his large cock in all its glory.

Guess what, author, this fanfic is showing me all its glory. It’s a useless, nebulous thing that relies on something to back it up. And the same goes for the word ‘glory’.

"Mmm this monster is going to destroy me real good." Juri said before licking the tip.

"You have no idea." Sam said making her blink before turning and saw Sam Clover and Alex also in the nude.

I know this was originally a Totally Spies crossover, but these girls stick to Sean like gum under a shoe at times. And the author still puts the long since tasteless wad back into his mouth to chew.

"Well well well. I guess its true about Spartans having harems." Juri said amused before yelping as Sean shoved her on her back and positioned himself at her entrance making her grin. "Go ahead take my virginity and don't worry about being gentle I love pain."

EVERYONE DOES!!

Juri said making him smirk before shoving himself inside of her sex making her moan from the pain as a small amount of blood came out. "Oh yes thats amazing." Juri said in bliss.

The amazing part is we are supposed to believe your name appears in this sex scene for any reason besides the author spinning a roulette wheel.

"Hey wheres Donna?" Sean asked making Juri blink also not seeing the fourth Spy.

"Oh she's getting a special surprise for you." Alex said before she sat on Juri's face making her grin before she took hold of her hips playing with her ass before licking her sex making Alex moan before she leaned forward and kissed Sean who held her close with one hand while Playing with her breasts with the other.

Oh yes, I can’t get enough of this disconnected interactions of humanoids jiggling each other’s bits to figure out what happens.

Sam and Clover sucked and licked on Juri's breasts making her moan louder before gasping as Sean thrusted even faster into her sex.

"Oh god yes thats it fuck me!" Juri said in bliss before Sean took one last deep thrust into her sex making her let out a pleasured whimper before he came inside her womb while she came as well along with Alex.

"Welcome to the harem." Alex said kissing her making Juri giggle before Donna walked with Tsunade Sarada Erza Katara Yumi and Nami all of whom were naked as them.

Are we sure Sean isn’t simply using a super power to trick women into liking him after even only their name having appeared in his presence? Because the simplest explanation is typically the right one. And did these girls ditch Scarlet because they didn't know if the author meant Wanda Maximoff?

"Oh this is going to be fun since you do owe me for the injuries you gave me." Tsunade said making Sean chuckle.

Authors note: Sorry for the long wait for this update I was facing a massive case of writers block.

All you have produced is the same thing over and over again, author. There is literally nothing new here. No new plot, no new characters, no insight or entertainment, not even a different sex scene. A writer’s block is more than simply not feeling up to writing words.

So yes this arc is going to help in adding girls to the harem. I estimate this will take 2 or 3 more chapters.

Whichever, depending on when the author once again loses interest, gives up, folds, and just treats it like he already is, by skipping everything that isn’t about stroking Sean’s ego.

See ya oh and feel free to leave your requests on what you want to see in the story and lemons since you have every right to tell me what you want so don't be shy.

You have nothing and therefore unashamedly demand inspiration. How about just copy-pasting “[character] walked in naked and fucked Sean” onto every line of your ever-growing harem list, you talentless hack.

Oh and please do read my newest story Spartan Kombat.

I glanced at the first chapter. Sean and Reznov approach Shang Tsung who call them ‘Kombatiants’, and I think I stopped laughing when I reminded myself the author means to be serious.

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Juri has been added, but that's all I'm deigning this author's lazy trash. How the hell does this fanfic have fans stroking themselves to this in the reviews? "Oh, oh, oh, I can't wait for Dragonlord0 to include the name of that character I like, and tell me she's now in the harem!" What travesty is this, honestly? I might as well create a new category for this list; the women the author thinks he has included in his harem. Scarlet Witch will join that one, I think.

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