New Spy

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:05 am

You know what, Sean hasn't had a chance to show off in a while. Oh no, I don't mean his muscles. I mean his superior morals and just all around better-than-everyone nature. Seems that's what the author thinks he was going for, anyway. Here's Chapter 29, Mortal Kombat part 2.

Chapter 29 Mortal Kombat part 2

These parts are pathetically short, too. Remember the Total Drama Island parts? Those are longer than this set by more than a third.

"Now that was intense." Alex said with a satisfied smile as they walked to the arena for the second part of the tournament.

That was the orgy, folks. With people who haven’t even been given the customary hair, eye, and boob description, much less spoken a line. I’m sticking with my previous thought. A purple border for the wasted characters the author thinks made it into this story.

"Yeah I defiantly get the feeling that we're going home with a lot more people when this is done." Sean said as they entered the Arena.

Because what better thing do these people have to do in their own dimensions, after all?

"Now for the second part of the Tournament to begin. Sean Ashburn Kruger against Batman." Shang Tsung said making Sean widen his eyes before the masked vigilante walked into the arena.

So, Dragonlord0 injected Batman into this to have his self-insert defeat. Will there be a side-dish of a chest-pounding, better-than-thou ego-tantrum with this one, I wonder.

"Oh fuck." Sean said.

"Where are Harlen and Poison Ivy?" Batman asked.

"Um let me see uh none of your business." Sean said making him narrow his eyes at him. "Lets just get this over with I've got more honorable opponents to fight then someone who lets a killing clown still live hence the reason my country stepped in and demanded his execution." Sean said before they were transported to a different location to begin the match.

Because any country that intends to threaten another into following their way of life is of course the good guys. What planet do you live on, author?

"Doesn't give you the right to kill someone." Batman said.

"I'm a fucking soldier Killing comes with the job especially when the target is someone like him. Don't expect you to understand you don't feel what others feel when they lose someone because of him. How many families have been torn apart because of you letting him live how many lives have been lost because of you?"

Could you at least lube up before raping a helpless strawman in the ass, author? Your two-faced carnival clown of a brainless strong-man is given every non-sequitur you can grant him to boast the most hypocritical shit this side of his harem. This pubescent edgy Punisher logic is rampant enough on the Internet as it is, with whiny, twelve-year-old-like, pseudo-intellectuals waxing moral philosophies for the only reason to make their dick feel bigger by thinking they are poking holes in a fictional character’s moral fiber. Your choice of Joker is already nebulously vague, author, but even if I were to grant you it was the worst one of them all, your question isn’t just about why Batman doesn’t wring the Joker’s neck. It’s why Commissioner Gordon doesn’t pull his gun and blow the clown’s brains out. It’s why a random policeman doesn’t shoot the Joker upon him being locked up. It’s why Arkham nurses doesn’t administer poison to the clown’s evening meal. You even flat out stated it yourself, by having your super-soldier alter-ego – who is toting his pretended profession like he has not only a license, but also an obligation to kill – state outright that his nation forced the hand of the law after Sean himself forgot to kill the Joker when he could have! Batman doesn’t kill the Joker, because he is not above the law on this topic, and is allowing justice to be served through a trial and jury. It’s what separates a vigilante from a villain, you self-righteous simpleton. The worse a version of the Joker up prop up, the more that version is the dark reflection of what Batman is in his cause, going on a murdering spree while gleefully asking for someone to kill him to prove his way is right and sane morals are bunk. This shit is so straightforward that it all got addressed in a fucking Robot Chicken sketch, for crying out loud. Here, I’ll throw in another reason for Batman not killing the Joker, especially for the butthurt, non-due-process, murder-power-fantasy masturbators, if they’ve bothered reading this far. The other side of the coin is that Batman is a fictional character in a franchise being sold to people, and killing off the Joker upon every first appearance would not sell that well. Grow up.

Sean asked glaring before his hands were engulfed in fire making him look at them in surprise.

"Hmm?" Batman said confused.

"Well thats new." Sean said before throwing a fire ball at Batman. "Time to make you feel what others feel because of you." Sean said.

I’ve already had to rub out the stains of your last, pretentious denial of your inferiority complex a paragraph ago, author, don’t make me toss out another rant. Sean’s one-sided, two-bit ego-flexing is supposed to be genuine and true in every way by virtue of your lambasting writing abilities, and here you are thinking you know Batman doesn’t feel remorse for the victims of his rogues. Here you are, thinking that Sean’s position as a soldier has not let others suffer because of the lives he took. Here you are, pretending to not remember why Bruce Wayne became Batman.

Minutes later

"Hundred bucks says Batman comes back unharmed." Flash said before they came back with Batman knocked out before Sean kicked him to the league who were shocked.

"Asshole." Sean said.

Paraphrased: “I’m better than you because I kill people”. You may extend your index fingers in Dragonlard0’s general direction.

"How did you beat him?" Flash asked.

"Uh." Sean said before his hands were engulfed in fire.

Quick, someone call up Firefly and tell him he got jibbed by DC, because this nimrod of an author huffed his own farts and figured out Batman’s true demise.

"Its getting worse his powers are evolving faster then expected." Freddy said.

"Our next match will be Scorpion against Green Lantern." Shang Tsung said.

If you wanted to go play Injustice: Gods Among Us, why didn’t you just do that instead of wasting my time, author?

"Now you can make fire from your hands?" Sam asked surprised.

"Don't know what to tell you." Sean said shrugging his shoulders.

Gosh, Sean is just so relatable, shrugging off unthematic super-power endowments to pretend he totally deserves them.

"What did the guy who experimented on you do to you?" Donna asked confused.

"Experimented?" Juri said confused.

"I'll explain later." Sean said before Scorpion and Lantern came back with the first being victorious.

"Our next match will be Sean Ashburn Kruger against Wonder Woman." Shang Tsung said.

Has anyone noticed, that aside from not being able to show a match, the author doesn’t even know how a single-elimination tournament is structured?

"Oh this is going to be awesome." Sean said as he entered the Arena.

"Its been a while since a Spartan went up against an Amazon." Wonder Woman said smiling.

Well, you two didn’t share a universe until the author’s cock craved Harley Quinn, after all.

"Lets see who's stronger." Sean said as they were transported to a different arena.

"Care to make this interesting?" Wonder Woman asked as they appeared in a frozen wasteland.

"Oh?" Sean said.

"If I win you have join the league for a week till Batman is fully recovered. I think its only fair that you do so since you went a little to far." Wonder Woman said.

Because of course Sean has to get the Justice League to suck his dick clean after being done sodomizing Batman.

"True I just don't like that he doesn't kill the Joker when he deserves it. And If I win well...I'll keep that to myself till I win." Sean said making her smirk.

"Very well then." Wonder Woman said.

That’s not how bets and stakes are made, dickhead. Who the hell wants to read this crap, where the author is doing nothing but rubbing his ass against his keyboard while incessantly screaming “Fuck common sense, I do whatever I want.”?

Minutes later

"Ok now I'm sure she's going to beat him." Flash said before they appeared with Wonder Woman on her knees exhausted while Sean smirked.

"And once again I win." Sean said.

Because that’s your sole, true super-power, Sean. Your power is that you win. The rest the author pins on is just fluff.

"How?" Flash asked.

"The kid is a lot stronger then he looks." Superman said impressed.

Not even paper can defeat a rock this dense.

"I assume you'll be keeping the end of our deal." Sean said making her smirk.

"Of course." Wonder Woman said.

"What deal?" Clover asked smirking.

"Oh just a date." Sean said.

"Yeah sure whatever." Katara said rolling her eyes in amusement.

By the way, Katara, I hadn’t taken the author for targeting pussy that’s about to hit 90 years old, since he has Korra showing up later in this very same chapter.

"Our next match will be Reznov against Superman." Shang Tsung said.

"Oh crap." Reznov said as they were transported away.

Minutes later

Superman and Reznov came back with the later knocked out.

I must say, this is the most intense game of drawing straws that I’ve seen yet.

"Well that was unfair." Sean said.

"He did put up a good fight." Superman said.

"Our next match will be. Red Sonja against Sean Ashburn Kruger." Shang Tsung said.

"Stop!" Sean said. "What is going on? I've had the most fights here more then anyone else." Sean said getting the others to agree.

Oh, so the bullshit elimination pairing was a plot point, where Sean was simply too stupid to notice after the second fight he participated in, go figure.

"Just testing your skills is all nothing more." Shang Tsung lied.

"Bullshit I know when someone is lying

A super-power with every new breath, this guy.

I knew Raiden was lying about the real reason for this tournament from the start so whats this really about?" Sean asked.

"Sean." Freddy said appearing in front of him.

"Freddy?" Sean said surprised before seeing his face. "Damn what the hell happened to you?" Sean asked.

"Take a guess." Freddy said.

”The author is too busy to make shit up. I probably killed some kids and then things escalated a bit.”

"Look heres the truth and all of you do deserve to know since while this is to show the strength of each realm or group its also to help him." Freddy said.

"What are you talking about? I feel fine. I mean these powers are a little surprising but..." Sean tried to say.

It’s very kind of you to let Freddy “Exposition” Krueger have his say to avoid any and all potential conflict, Sean. Also, fuck you and your fake emotional issues and continuously impactless background story.

"You weren't supposed to get those powers so quickly. When you say I was the one who experimented on in a more inhuman way that was Micheal Kree who did that using the same Mask Mileena wears to look more human. He was trying to make you a living weapon." Freddy said shocking all those that didn't know. "I have a friend in Sparta who sent me a sample of your blood. These powers you're unlocking were supposed to awaken yes but not this soon the more you fight the faster they awaken and now its at an unstable rate." Freddy said.

”So, rather than have my friend inform you of the issue, I decided to put you in a situation where you would fight ten times more than you’d manage to do in a week. Oops.”

"So basically you need us to weaken him enough for this to work." A woman with dark skin brown hair and blue eyes said.

Is anyone supposed to know who you are at this moment in particular, buttercup?

"Yes I know none of you have anything to gain through this but if his evolution is not stabilized it could spell disaster." Freddy said.

"Why didn't you just say so to me directly? Were you afraid I'd just lash out at you for what happened? Freddy I'm not some brute who just attacks people at Random." Sean said.

Correct, Sean, because using the word ‘random’ implies it’s not your default choice of behavior!

"I see that now. You need to be weakened enough for me to inject this into you." Freddy said holding a syringe.

"If you really just needed our help we would have agreed to it." Superman said getting others to agree.

"Then I assume we can proceed with the tournament?" Raiden asked getting others to agree more looking forward to fighting.

Now that the author is done with his plot-handholding and has established that there is no reason for the tournament, sure, let’s just keep going. It’s not like its painfully obvious the author is already losing interest, and is only dragging things out long enough to let Sean remain undefeated and get more boob-dolls he won’t have the time to fondle.

"Very well now as I said. Red Sonja and Sean Ashburn Kruger will fight next." Shang Tsung said.

"Oooh this is going to be interesting." Sam said seeing her outfit which was basically a silver scale bikini.

I have to ask, author. Do you reach up all the way inside your cock-puppets to make them deliver you your boner-polish statements to no one in particular, or do you just pull a string in their backs?

Minutes later

"Ouch." Sean said a little beat up while Sonja was on the ground knocked out. "Now this woman put up a much more difficult fight." Sean said heading back to the others.

"First time I've ever seen you with actual wounds." Reznov said.

"First time for everything." Sean said before the next match began with Super Girl against Sheeva.

If he has wounds, he’s vulnerable. Just give him the damn injection already!

"Ok start explaining. What did you mean by being experimented on?" Juri asked with a frown.

"When I was younger I a rare deadly disease that would have killed me in months. Freddy managed to cure me but also his treatments had some unforeseen side effects. Unlimited Stamina and endurance practically unlimited physical strength and increased intelligence by 25." Sean said.

And we are back at non-stop repeating the power-endowment exposition to try and convince readers of them, and have Sean lure in women by having them gawk at all the features the author mistakenly thinks would make someone love him. Also, fuck you, author, you just smuggled in a retcon to give Sean ‘unlimited’ strength. You are never satisfied, you baby.

"So we consider those a huge bonus." Sarada said grinning at him.

"There was also one more thing before any of these other powers started to show. Somehow Freddy also unlocked something in my blood that should be impossible. Immortality." Sean said shocking the girls new to the harem.

And they are all totally sticking around nearby in the void with everyone else from the tournament, sitting, standing, floating, maybe even existing, should the author bother to give them dialogue.

"What? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?" Yumi asked.

"Nope not at all. I didn't even know till I went back home to Sparta months ago to confirm my suspicions about why Micheal Kree wanted me so badly. Inside my body is the key to eternal life itself. I still don't know how Freddy did it nor does from the look of it. But I think Micheal wanted the key to making human weapons since..." Sean trailed off as his hand was engulfed in fire to demonstrate his point.

I honestly don’t see what’s stopping Kree. The guy had Sean examined by an underling to confirm that the experiment was a success, and since all that comes down to is testing blood, there should already be an army of clones being developed. But of course the author can’t do that, since it could create story-driving conflict, or allow Sean to finally go fuck himself.

"So what abilities do you have so far?" Tsunade asked curiously.

"Uh so far unbreakable skin and this." Sean said.

"Makes me wonder if you can copy other abilities as well." Nami said.

Copy other abilities. What a neat way of admitting you steal everything you can think of, author. You don’t even want to be original, do you?

"Maybe in later years or months since Freddy seems so convinced that my powers are evolving to fast." Sean said before SuperGirl and Sheeva came back with the later being victorious.

"Our next match will be Sean Ashburn Kruger against Power Girl." Shang Tsung said as the alternative version of SuperGirl came into the arena.

"Oh great I get to go up against a Kryptonian." Sean said grinning making her grin back.

Okay, we all know it wasn’t credible up until now, but Sean is bullshit incarnate. The only reason he’s not going to get an hour’s worth of eye heat beams from afar from a flying Kryptonian, is because the author probably doesn’t even grasp what super powers his caricatured cock-guzzlers have.

10 minutes later

"Well this is taking much longer." Alex said before they came back with Sean being victorious again.

"What? How did you beat her of all people?" Flash asked.

"Uh actually." Sean said as his right arm turned into emerald or at least it looked that way till it started glowing.

"Kryptonite." Superman said groaning before Sean's arm turned normal again.

Because of course he would develop a super power that lets him turn his body into a specific type of rock not found on planet Earth infused with radiations specific to the destruction of an alien planet, which by its plot-importance can’t be synthesized by anyone else. Just suck up your insufferable pride and ego and let Sean get hurt, author, you insecure pencil-dick.

"Sorry. In my defense it just happened the first time." Sean said.

”So of course I exploited it, because why would I let myself intentionally take damage from a super-human when I know what’s at stake. I have 25¤ more intelligence than anyone else, remember?”

"Jesus how many powers is he going to have?" Jax asked Freddy.

"I have no idea. Like I said his powers are evolving faster every time he fights which is what I need in order to inject this into him." Freddy said holding the Syringe.

You’re actually incapable of saying anything that doesn’t have to do with reminding people what the plot of this chapter is, aren’t you, Freddy?


More fight were fought and won for the past few hours. Sean went up against many such as Chun Li, Killer Frost, Naruko Uzumaki, Mira Strauss, Korra, Azula, Charm Caster, Yoko Littner and Tuppence Terror.

While I could question the probable dick in disguised with this lineup, I’d rather play a game of ‘Guess how many of these characters are still fourteen years old’.

Right now Sean was up against Wasp from the Avengers.

"Oh man at this rate I think we're going to need a bigger house." Donna said.

Why, is your storage shed for forgotten knob-lickers full?

"Oh yeah definitely." Sam said just as Sean came with Wasp in his arms knocked out.

"I think nows the best time to inject the syringe into him." Raiden said.

Wow, author, for a guy who obviously never got it in anywhere, you certainly know how to pull out.

"No not yet he's not at the point where it will work yet. He just needs one more fight." Freddy said.

"In that case. Sean Ashburn Kruger you will face Superman." Shang Tsung said.

"Wait what?" Sean said before the man of steel appeared. "Oooh man come on." Sean said as they vanished.

an hour later

"They should have been back minutes ago."

Yeah, fifty-nine after he turned himself into kryptonite, to be precise. But tea-bagging Superman for nearly an hour is just another complementary enjoyment of Sean living the life.

Alex said before a portal appeared and Superman was on the ground knocked out while Sean looked completely exhausted.

"Now or never." Freddy said quickly injecting him with the Syringe making Sean groan in discomfort.

"Warn before you start putting needles in me will ya." Sean said annoyed before his injuries started to heal faster.

Did this talentless author forget to mention Sean had regeneration powers two chapters back already?

"Ok this syringe should be stabilizing your powers now but I suggest we wait till tomorrow to see if its taken full effect." Freddy said.

Okay, this has been bothering me non-stop, Doctor Freddy. Could you acknowledge the shit you put in the syringe, instead of phrasing credit in every sentence to the instrument of delivery, rather than the stuff the author shies away from ever making up to further his objectively shitty plot contrivances?

"Yeah I'm definitely up for any more fights for today after that." Sean said.

Authors Note: Sorry this took so long been busy.

Oh, I bet. Jerking off to every paragraph you write must be such a time-waster.

Now next chapter will conclude the Mortal Combat arc with the rest of the girls joining the harem. Read and Review.

Because I’m sure the mortal enemies thrown into the mix will have no problems sharing space as long as there’s a cock between them.


And here is the freshly minted list with the new category of entirely neglected characters included. The author thinks all he has to do to add women to his harem at this point is to just have their name appear in this fanfic. As such, all this chapter's female stand-ins and last chapter's possible inclusion of Scarlet Witch have been added with a new type of frame, for having appeared but not even having been confirmed in-universe as being part of the harem. I won't let the author get away with not even working for the cake he wants to have and eat, too.

Okay, civilities and running gags are over with, I’m going to be mean now. Oh, I may rant, be foul-mouthed, throw a lot of nasty stuff at the fanfics I read, address the author behind it and so on, but I do so under the guise of comedy, and because I only address the strawman created by the author’s work. How the author chooses to present himself is all I can respond to, after all. But this obnoxious immoral pandering to a power-fantasy so dark and twisted, soiling decent archetypes and foundational ethics, just for the purpose of getting yourself off to it, is really grinding my gears. Want me to be nasty, mean and angry? Here is comes. Make up whatever little personal, undefeatable, infinitely over-powered, better-than-everything-and-beyond, god-like, immortal, rich, sex-sated, super-soldier power-fantasy flesh-suit you want, author. I find it pathetic you wish to share something so personal and solely self-gratifying, but you are free to do so. But the moment you make him a bully with the moral fiber of a psychopath, transparently only caring about himself and his own needs above others, guess what. I will rejoice at knowing its insignificance at being but a conceptual figment passing from this Earth the moment you forget it ever existed. I will condemn anyone believing him a paragon of what people should strive to be, until they wise up. And I hope you never rise out of the muck you wallow and fester in to write this escapist fantasy, to attempt or succeed at achieving what you want to profess your desires to be with this character. You are no soldier, author. Hell, I wouldn’t even pin you for a meter-maid, because I hold more credence to the belief, that people who are in such positions of power cares that they can do harm unto others, and at the very least know when and why they shouldn’t. Was that harsh? Fuck yeah. And it’ll stay that way until someone changes their tune. If anyone wants to convince me that person is me, give it your best shot.

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Re: New Spy

Post by GorillaGamer » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:21 am

That rant at the end was very satisfying to read. Believe me, it was as scrumptious as a five-star chocolate mousse cake. Still deciding on what I should mock next though.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
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Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: New Spy

Post by Dashguy » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:20 pm

I find it funny Sean is lashing at Batman for not killing the Joker, and the Joker alone, when the Dark Knight has several other enemies who are just as dangerous, such as the Scarecrow, Victor Zsasz and Killer Croc. Not only that, but he doesn't say anything to Superman who is just as adverse, if not more, to kill as Batman.

If I were a cynic I would suspect Sean is only giving shit to Batman because he had the misfortune of crossing paths with the Joker and wouldn't give a damn otherwise.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sat Aug 11, 2018 8:30 am

@GorillaGamer - I'm glad that my ranting is found entertaining. I must admit though, it has been a long time coming, what with the terrible trends these types of fanfics keep propagating.

@Dashguy - I have a feeling it's only more of an ongoing trend, with the author getting rid of the remotest of possibilities of his targeted flesh lights having a second option of a love interest. As far as my memory goes, Wonder Woman did flirt with Batman once or twice in the author's likely specific Justice League source material, and the track record on everything thus far has been for Sean to muscles out anyone of the opposite gender who has shared interactions with his spank material.

Let's just get this thing over and done with already. Here's Chapter 30, Mortal Kombat part 3.

Chapter 30 Mortal Kombat part 3

Competitor for worst Death Battle, ever.

"Ugh. Fuck what did you inject me with?" Sean asked.

For all the actual evidence of the drawbacks of your condition thus far, Sean, I’d say it was a placebo.

"Jeez I thought soldiers never complained." Freddy said amused.

"Fuck off. Whats happening to me I feel so weak." Sean said.

"Your body is adapting to the Syringe I gave you after your fight with Superman. Its going to take an hour or two before the side effects wear off." Freddy said.

"And what will you do when it does? Go back home and prove your innocence?" Sean asked.

Oh yeah, Freddy Kruger, innocent, pull the other one.

"I already did through a friend of mine when I sent him a video of the event. You don't need me since its clear you still have issues with me." Freddy said.

"Can you blame me? For 11 years you never came forward with the truth about that night. How about you just be honest about the experiment and just tell me what really happened?" Sean asked making him sigh.

Fuck off, author, you conflict-scared coward. Your coy withholding of your imaginary brother’s existence obviously extended to the entire universe, because what the fuck prevented Freddy from clearing his name the day after this first now established decade old incrimination?!

"Look I swear on my life I have absolutely no idea how you became an immortal. I was messing around with a few chemicals that would have held back the virus that was killing you thats all. When I mixed them together it caused some kind of reaction inside you. You were convulsing on the table for half a minute before it stopped and when that happened you were basically and impossibly as healthy as a physically fit man in his early 20's even more then that actually. I think the chemicals activated something inside your blood." Freddy said.

It was very progressive of the author to tailor this fanfic for people with constant memory loss, because this has got to be the fifth time or so that this shit has been stated!

"What do you mean in my blood? We share the same blood." Sean said making Freddy sigh. "What? What are you not telling me. We are brothers completely by blood right?" Sean asked.

Are you kidding me with these exposition-baiting non-sequiturs? Is he supposed to say it caused a reaction inside both of you, dumbass? That’s even worse than hooking onto someone stating they are having a light breakfast, and assuming they have a plot-based urgency beyond their control to make it light, right off the bat!“

"Not exactly true. We're only related by our mother. Dad had an accident a few years before you were born and mom wanted a second child. She never told us how but we know she didn't cheat on dad to get what she wanted but she also didn't visit any of the clinics for a donation for what she wanted. I could never find out how she got you conceived but she did and she would never tell us how and I couldn't find anyone whose DNA matched yours in the DATA base. Whoever your biological father was is the reason you have immortal blood inside you." Freddy said making Sean sit down.

Yeah, sure, whatever, Starlord. Am I supposed to find it subtle that you put together this chapter three weeks after the release of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, author?

"That doesn't make any sense. Did dad..." Sean tried to ask.

"He knew you weren't his son by blood but he loved you anyway since you made the family complete until you got infected.

”Then you didn’t make the family complete and he hated your guts.”

I think he actually knew who your real father was but didn't feel obligated to tell me thinking it didn't matter. I argued with him saying if we found your father I could find a cure but he wouldn't tell me saying he didn't know but he did." Freddy said.

Exposition Freddy never fails to paint every corner to let any of those pesky doubts, curiosities, and intrigues up for exploration later, does he?

"Did you ever come close to a small lead on who it was?" Sean asked.

"No but when you were born I did a small test on your blood.

How far apart in age are you two?

Even before the accident which made you who you are today you had a lot of enhancements inside you that a newborn shouldn't have. Look as of now it doesn't really matter who it is. You and I are still brothers and its my job to look after you." Freddy said.

So, another thing to add to the list of reasons why Sean is not a real Spartan. My biggest disappointment is that the author took out whatever fun I could have at calling him a bastard.

"Likewise." Sean said making Freddy chuckle before his computer beeped.

It was leaning against Raiden’s vacuum cleaner, right next to Quan Chi’s boombox.

"Oh looks like the side effects wore off faster. I guess your clear to finish the Tournament." Freddy said.

Who cares if Sean might still feel the effect? A computer just beeped.

"Looks like it." Sean said heading out.

Minutes later

"Now then today will be the final day of the tournament. Sean Ashburn Kruger against Samui and Karui." Shang Tsung said.

Should I expect Karui to die in this combat, or should I just go ahead add yet another harem participant the author never bothered to mention on his list?

"Huh?" Sean said before looking at the two women one with white skin blonde hair cut short with blue eyes and had large breasts slightly smaller then Tsunade's and another with dark skin red hair amber eyes her breasts were not anywhere close to as big as her friend but she was still beautiful. "Nice." Sean said.

Single-worded, monosyllabic exclamation truly hits home the idea of wholeheartedly appreciating beauty, doesn’t it?

"Lets just get this over with." Karui said as they were transported to their arena.

Minutes later

Sean came back victorious with Samui and Karui knocked out before they were carried to the healing room.

Healing room? What the fuck have your forgot to establish up until now this time, author?

"So..." Sam said.

"Lets just say you'll be surprised when we get back." Sean said taking a drink

"Our next match will be Julia Mactavish against Sonya blade." Shang Tsung said making Sean spit out his drink.

Julia Mactavish. A made up name, which means she’s down there with Reznov in the shit pile. As far as I can tell, she’s also in the author’s other Mortal Kombat fanfic. Go figure, he recycles everything.

"WHAT!" Sean yelled in shock.

"Hey jackass." Julia said behind him.

"Oh no." Sean said turning around and saw a woman with white skin brown hair in a pony tail with brown eyes and glasses. "Uh hey Julia." Sean said sheepishly before she kicked him in the family jewels. "AH!" Sean yelled in pain on his knees holding his balls. "Ok I might have deserved that." Sean said before she punched him in the face. "That I'm not so sure." Sean said.

Are you done with your 'Jack Sparrow'-like reenactment for lame comedy excuses, Mr. Invulnerable Man-child?

"Uh are we missing something?" Clover asked.

"Ex girlfriend?" Sam said.

A woman who left this guy’s harem? You can’t truly believe such myths, Sam.

"Nope not even close." Sean said as Julia and Sonya went away. "Julia is like me and Reznov she's military. We're good friends despite what you just saw but I defiantly deserved that. A couple months before we met Me Reznov and Julia were on a join mission op that hit a snag. We had two choices either save the prisoners who were all Ex cons or capture a high level terrorist that was planing an attack on British soil. Reznov and I went to capture the target while she tried to save the prisoners but because she didn't have any backup she failed so she blames me since it was my call."

Oh, stop pretending you have not only thought up a source of conflict, but also pretend that it’s going to matter in the span of more than a couple of paragraphs, author. It’s painstakingly clear every time that you inject something, in order to fake the evidence these characters know each other and have always existed.

Sean said as Julia and Sonya came back with Sonya knocked before Julia walked away. "I'll be right back." Sean said following her.

Julia sighed as she sat down next to a tree.

"Julia." Sean said walking to her.

"Go the fuck away." Julia said.

"Come on you got to let that go I said I was sorry but the mission was more important. What do you think would have happened if Reznov and I didn't stop him you know what he was planning on using a biological weapon on your country." Sean said making her sigh.

Forgiven in a heartbeat. Why, it’s almost like it never happened and held no purpose.

"I know. I don't hate you for doing your job I just wished you'd help me save my uncle." Julia said.

"Trust me not a day goes by that I wish I could go back and help.

I’m going to hold you to that sentence, you English-deficient asshole.

But the mission came first. Now come on lets go see the rest of the matches." Sean said as they went back to the fights.

What is there to see, fucktard?!

"Now for the next match. Sean Ashburn Kruger against Red Monika." Shang Tsung said as a woman with Red hair white skin and green eyes appeared and she was beautiful(Look her up and you'll be drooling for hours)

We know you credit beauty onto every bimbo-changed character you fap to, author, that’s why you are including them. Does Red Monika look sexually desirable? Of course, you dip, she’s designed to appeal to a male demographic. Just keep your filthy projected immaturity away from people, when you yourself have put her down as #57 on your spank-list.

"And Kushina Uzumaki." Shang Tsung said as another Red head walked she had white skin and dark blue eyes.

"Oh boy your going up against my mother." Naruko said.

"Any suggestions?" Sean asked.

Tell her she has no son, just to confuse her.

"Call her a tomato." Naruko said making him snicker.

Minutes later

"And once again I win." Sean said coming back with the two red heads knocked out.


"It would seem the serum is stabilizing his powers." Raiden said to Freddy.

Yeah, I mean, it’s just so obvious, isn’t it?

"Yes but once the Tournament is over I'm requesting his SO in the group he works for that he stays off duty for a month or so. Just to be safe." Freddy said.

”I’m just assuming he has a SO who will listen to me, though. Sean’s a soldier first and foremost if anything, what with his complete inability to take commands and do his duty without back-sass.”


The Tournament was nearly finished. Sean had faced a few other opponents before he was one of the final 4 Combatants. He had face Star Girl, Tula, Giganta, Circe, Poison Cammy, Rainbow Mika, Elena, Crimson Viper, Ur, Lisanna, Cana, Juvia, Sakura Haruno, Hinata Hyuga, Kurotsuchi, Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Morrigan Aensland and Regina.

So, we also have another new arrival with Rainbow Mika. Also, I might have been poking fun at Naruko’s probable genitalia, but is the author aware that he might need to mention which version of Poison he’s salivating over, because there’s a transgender controversy in her history?

"Now then the final Combatants. Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Sean Ashburn Kruger and Julia Mactavish the four of you are all that remains. Liu Kang you will face Julia Mactavish while Kung Lao goes up against Sean Ashburn Kruger." Shang Tsung said.

You forgot that Tsang Sung, as reigning champion, also fights, author. Fuck, what am I saying, you never knew!

"May the best man win." Kung Lao said making Julia clear her throat. "Oh I mean may the best warrior win." Kung Lao said.

"Better." Julia said as she and Liu Kang vanished while Sean and Kung Lao did the same.

What, was that your attempt at playing a “I’m totally a feminist-friendly, female-inclusive, non-mysoginist”-card, author? Or did you steal this dialogue from somewhere else for pity-laughs, too?

Minutes later

Sean was victorious against Kung Lao while Liu Kang was victorious against Julia.

"I'm assuming she gave you an earful about hitting a girl right?" Sean asked getting him to chuckle.

"Fuck you guys." Julia said.

"How do you put up with her?" Liu Kang asked.

The same way he deals with everything else. By her not existing until the author reminds himself of her name.

"Years of practice." Sean said before avoiding a rock thrown at him and hit Reznov.

"OW!" Reznov yelled.

"Ops sorry." Julia said in embarrassment.

"Now for the final match. Liu Kang against Sean Ashburn Kruger." Shang Tsung said.

"I've been looking forward to this." Liu Kang said grinning.

"So have I." Sean said as they were teleported to the final battle ground.

Minutes later

Because pretending that these matches lasted up towards an hour like with Superman would be less impressive, I guess.

Sean and Liu Kang came back both knocked out.

"A TIE!" Reznov yelled.


Author, promise me you won’t get a career in writing for wrestling, because you sell the worst fucking matchups and end results. This was the finale to your great Mortal Kombat piece of shit arc? A tournament that includes Sean having an hour long fight with Superman while pretending to not use kryptonite, where the final fight is Sean having a tie with Lui Kang? I don’t even have to tell anyone why this sucked or why it was unconvincing. I’m done here, and I won’t even acknowledge this stage-bowing asshat’s pretend-defeat, as anything but you merely pulling out a parachute ten super-powers after crashing into the ground from the plummet your Marty Stu self-insert took upon his creation. Stop insulting the intelligence of everyone unfortunate enough to be reading your infantile power-fantasies already!

"Ouch." Sean said as he and Liu Kang got up.

"Who won?" Sam asked.

"None of us did we both hit the ground." Sean said.

"So both of you were evenly matched therefor it is a draw." Raiden said.

These two just had a beer together and returned without doing any actual fighting, didn’t they?

"I didn't see that coming." Reznov said.

Me neither, because who could have foreseen this author was self-aware enough to pretend his ego is smaller than it actually is?


"So what happens now?" Julia asked Sean and Reznov.

"Well I go back to the states and relax since this serum is still affecting me. We just go back home and relax for a while." Sean said.

"I think I might actually just put in a transfer request to head stateside for a while since things are getting a little to boring back home." Reznov said.

You, a Russian assassin, are planning on requesting – you know what, fuck this, I’ll let this author remain undisturbed in his La La Land a bit longer, since he obviously could never deal with reality.

"Well I am heading back home since I still got work to do." Julia said.

"Well hopefully we'll see ya sometime later." Sean said shaking her hand making her smile.


"Home sweet home." Sean said laying down on the couch in the mansion while a few of the girls from the Tournament got settled in. These girls were Charm Caster, Juri, Erza, Tsunade, Naruko, Poison and Nami. The other girls were getting their things from their homes or getting a few extra girls to join his harem.

Because the author stopped caring and now has Sean sit on his ass while the new mindless sex-drones wrangle more for him. What willful denial does one have to suffer to not realize this fanfic is composed of nothing but literary IOUs?

Just then someone knocked his door.

"Oh come on." Sean said getting up. He opened the door and to his surprise Wonder Woman and superman were at the door. "Oh its you guys. Whats going on?" Sean asked stepping outside.

"We actually came here to ask if you were interested in joining the Justice league." Superman said.

Clark, this guy complains if he has to do as much as get off the couch, let alone go on a missions to save the world.

"Huh? Might I ask why?" Sean asked.

"With skills like yours you could do a lot of good around the world. Besides you were able to take down multiple opponents with ease till the last fight. Skills like those the Justice league could use." Superman said.

Sure, why not, I mean, he’s only a god whose two-faced pacifying apprehension of villains only goes as far as the author’s amorally-imagined profit.

"Well not that I don't want to but I've been given some time off due to my brother telling my boss that the serum still needs time to fully adjust to me." Sean said.

Are you going to stay in WOOHP, too, since the author hasn’t caught up on all the episodes he promised?

"You can still join any time you want just so long as you and Batman don't get into a fight." Superman said in amusement making Sean chuckle.

"I can try honestly but I cant say the same for him since he has issues." Sean said.

"Oh you have no idea."

”Your abundantly sound, well-formulated and superior arguments about killing people mercilessly because we can, has absolutely no input on my part because I’m Superman and not Batman, after all.”

Superman said before he flew away while Wonder Woman stayed.

"I also believe you owe me a date." Wonder Woman said making him chuckle.

Author, she lost, she owes him the date. Stop playing the part of the deserving person who receives, instead of the undeserving one who takes.

"Oh I didn't forget." Sean said letting her inside.

Authors note: So the Mortal Kombat Tournament is over and Sean got a lot of ladies into his harem who either have some packing to do or getting some more girls from their worlds or homes into his harem.

Yes. I read that too, 277 words ago, you scatter-brained numbskull. Do you put this down as the only important event of note for the people who only glance over this for sex scenes?

Anyway next chapter Sean and his girls travel to Hawaii for some personal time away while he's on leave.

Oh, sweet, Hawaii. I can’t wait to have it be mentioned upon the start of the chapter as the location they are going to, without it ever making an impact on the void, like everything else you’ve ever written, author!!

Another thing I made a poll for Dares for when the girls are all alone when he's not around so pick 4. Another thing yes Sean will be in the Justice league for a while feel free to give me a code name for him though I already have one. Read Review and Vote. See ya.

Let’s look at the suggestions made by the meat-beaters who like this trash, shall we? Only one suggestion was ever made, because the rest were too busy kissing ass and listing more name-tags. Darwin. There’s a certain reward I’d like to give Sean, I can tell you that much.

And Wonder Woman makes the list together with Naruko, Charm Caster, and Poison as harem participants by merely getting their foot in the door before the chapter ends. By half-assing the absence of other girls for the sake of harvesting more, I'll be amazed if the author will even mention the girls still marked down as mentioned but not included. A total of 44 female characters were dumped into this fanfic through these latest three chapters alone, with about the same courtesy and rush of a mass grave. Because that's what this heinous fanfic is reducing itself to.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Aug 12, 2018 2:51 pm

Plot? What plot? I don't know about any plot. We haven't had a plot for thirty chapters, we're not getting one now! Here's Chapter 31, Vacation fun part 1.

Chapter 31 Vacation fun part 1

Just call it the 'fucking on a private beach in the sand without any problems' arc, and get it over with already.

Wonder Woman AKA Diana was moaning like an absolute sex craved whore as she and Sean were in the outside hot tub with her bouncing off his lap.

If your hand does nothing but squeak when you masturbate at this point, author, you should either give it a rest or use some lube.

"Oooh by the gods this is amazing!" Diana yelled as she continued to bounce on his lap as he impaled her deeply.

Sean smirked at her before pulling her into a kiss making her moan as she wrapped her arms and legs around him before he took one deep thrust into her making her whimper in bliss as he came deep inside of her. She lost her strength and went limp while he held her close and went into the center of the hot tub and continued to kiss her body making her moan in bliss as she kissed his face.

Kiss, moan, bliss. Kiss, moan, bliss. Even your repetition is repetitive, author.

"I could stay like this forever." Diana said making him chuckle before kissing her left breast making her shudder.

"Well then you'd be keeping me from the others." Sean said making her giggle before he sat back down with her laying on his chest.

Yeah, all 87 others, who I'm sure you have quality time enough to interact with in a single day.

"Besides I've got a little surprise for all of you. Since I'm on leave for the next month or so I decided to take us all on a little needed vacation." Sean said.

"Oh and where to? A deserted tropical island away from civilization?" Diana asked making him chuckle and kissed her again making her smile.

"Not exactly but close enough."

She's only wrong because the author pretends that wasn't the function of every location he has had these characters fuck in thus far.

Sean said as Alex and Carmen walked in the hot tub.

"So where are we going then?" Alex asked as she laid on his left while her mother on his right and Carmen kissed Diana making her moan into her first kiss with another woman.

No one remind the author that his default bi-sexual and bimbofied version of Wonder Woman comes from an island of nothing but women. He'll only produce two or three more chapters of this trash.

"Hawaii. I did tell you I had plenty of places around the world with all the money I've invested. One such place is there. Its located away from the populace so no one will bother us unless you invite them over." Sean making them giggle. "Plus I did recently add in some additions for you girls." Sean said.

You are describing luxuries you already have, Sean. The author has nothing new to provide, even to himself.

"Aww." Alex said kissing him.

"So when do we leave?" Carmen asked.

After the next time-skip, I'm sure.

"Tomorrow since I'm sure you all want to get there as soon as possible." Sean said.

Well, isn't that patronizingly condescending? Dangle something in front of them, and immediately they will pounce without restraint.

"What about me Sam Donna and Clover since we still have school." Alex said.

"Just made up some BS about being temporarily homeschooled." Sean said making her smile.

With as paper-thin an excuse thrown out just to make sure your dick remains erect by saying these girls still are in high school, I'm surprise you haven't already had them drop out and leech off your fantasy fortune, like all the other gold-digging bitches are supposed to.

Next day

"Never get tired of seeing that." Alex said as they boarded his personal plane to Hawaii.

And I never get tired of the fact that the author keeps telling us people see things that he never describes to us.

Among everyone in the group for the action was Alex, Sam, Clover, Donna, Carmen, Stella, Gabriella, Carla, Crimson, Pam, Alice, Keako, Candy, Makeda, Tassara, Segan, April, Harley, Ivy, Juri, Courtny, Gwen, Heather, Izzy, Lindsay, Leshawna, Bridget, Dawn, Zoey, Jasmine, Eva, Sky, Katie, Dakota, Blainely, Sierra, Jessica, Nomi, Penny, Marie, Erza, Tsunade, Yumi, Nami, Sarada and pretty much everyone.

Lost track after listing only half of your harem, shithead? Did you run out of commas to list them with, or did you realize how clearly diluted your sexual fantasies are if you provided the rest of the names? Let me do it for you then. Killer Frost, Red Monika, Charm Caster, Morrigan Aensland, Stargirl, Wonder Woman, Regina, Mira, Ur, Cana, Juvia, Lisanna, Yoko_Littner, Circe, Giganta, Hinata, Karui, Kurotsuchi, Kushina, Naruko, Sakura, Samui, Boa Hancock, Nico Robin, Red Sonja, Sabine, Cammy, Chun Li, Crimson Viper, Elena, Poison, Rainbow Mika, Azula, Katara, Korra, Ava, Carla Wong, Carly, Caroline, Emily, Wanda, Tula, and Tuppence Terror. And I'm tempted to frame all of these in purple regardless of their previous appearances now.

"Wow now this is high class." Karui said amazed.

You come from a realm where they haven't invented the airplane yet, Karui, stop pretending you exist in this fanfic by spouting shit.

"Well being rich does has its advantages." Sean said.

Grammar is sadly not one of them.

"Feel free to do whatever you want here since its going to be a few hours before we reach Hawaii."

A few hours? It took you an entire day to reach Sparta, which is only three times the journey from Beverly Hills.

Sean said before the girls dispersed to do their own thing which would mostly regard sex or relaxing.

Sean was in the large hot tub room like last time watching the big TV.

Imagine my surprise.

"Mind if I join you?" Circe asked already in the nude as him making him smirk.

"Be my guest." Sean said as she walked in and moaned from the hot bubbling water on her bare skin before she was neck deep in the water before sitting next to him. She soon started to kiss his neck before traveling down lower to his muscles moaning from his taste before she yelped when she was pushed aside by someone.

"Mind if I cut in?" Tula asked making Circe growl at her for interrupting her fun.

"Girls come on no fighting."

Meanwhile, I'm sure Fire Nation Princess Azula is happily whispering sweet nothings into Water Tribe Rebel Katara's ears in Sean's absence.

Sean said pulling them close making them blush before smiling at each other. Tula went down to his cock giving him a blowjob while Circe kissed him lovingly.

Sean groaned slightly before grabbing Tula's head and deep throated her

Okay, can we ask ourselves this? A woman deep throats a man. A man deep throats a woman. Which is which?

making her eyes widen before moaning around his cock enjoying the rough treatment.

Circe giggled as she saw how Tula was handling getting her mouth fucked hard before yelping in surprise as Sean pulled on her breasts making her whimper before she placed one in his mouth for him to suck on.

Detachable tits is all the rage.

"Mmmm So good." Circe moaned before gasping as his other hand went to her pussy and fingered her making her moan loudly.

Tula moved faster around his cock wanting him to release soon before she felt him twitch inside her mouth which made her double her efforts to get her prize. Circe was moaning more and started to shake.

Oh great, she's allergic to cum and is going into an anaphylactic shock.

"Mmm I'm so close." Circe moaned before he pulled her into a kiss making her moan before she let out a shuddering moan in his mouth as she came from his fingers while he came into Tula's mouth making her moan gulping it all down before diving back up for some fresh air.

"Delicious now how about we do something special for you."

Because all that these two sluts just did for Sean deserves him a reward. What is logic?

Tula said before pulling Circe down and whispered something in her ear making her grin before both got on his sides and pressed their pussies together on his cock making them moan as they rubbed themselves on his cock while rubbing each other as well.

Sean grinned before they yelped as Circe was forced on the edge before moaning in bliss as he drilled into her making her eyes roll into the back of her head enjoying the hard swift thrusts her lover gave her.

It was such a special treatment that it lasted the single paragraph it was presented in.

Tula got behind him and pressed her breasts on his back while kissing his neck. Sean pulled her so she was in front on him and kissed her while she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

Well, Circe is a sorceress, so I'm sure mid-fucking she made herself insubstantial so Sean could put another woman in front of himself.

Circe was in heaven as she got plowed from behind her ass smacking against his waist with ease thrust making her ass jiggle with each hard thrust. Tula managed to use one of her hands to rub her butt making Circe moan from feeling her soft hands on her butt cheeks.

Ass, thrust, ass, thrust, rub, butt, moan, butt, is this shit inspired by a Konami Code?!

Sean grunted before he took one last final thrust and Circe had to place her hands on her mouth to muffle her screams as he came inside of her making her eyes roll into the back of her head knocked out from the intense sex with a fucked silly smile on her face.

Why bother pretend you can describe a sex scene with passion, attention, and rich language, when you can instead make a short summarization of the details that matters to you in a single threesome freeze frame ,while dumping in your search keywords that let you find it, author?

"Aww she passed out." Tula said making Sean chuckle before getting up and pulled Circe up making Tula like her lips eyeing his muscled body with his large cock hanging down

Having a little problem maintaining that eternal erection of yours, Sean, or did the author go into denial when he realized he can only get half-chubs?

while he carried her to a chair to lay her down. Sean walked back over to Tula who got on her hands and knees and waved her ass at him. "My turn big man." Tula said making him smirk before scooping her up in his arms making her burst into a fit of giggles before she wrapped her arms and legs around him and kissed him.

You put Velcro on your Tickle Me Elmo flesh-light holder, author, we get it.

Sean soon thrusted himself inside of her making her whimper before smiling at him in pure love kissing him more passionately and lovingly and he did the same both moving their tongues around the others mouth while he thrusted into her needing sex making her moan and whimper every few seconds into his mouth.

Tula looked into his eyes with pure love as she pressed her forehead against his while he thrusted into her slowly seeing she wanted a slow love making.

Boy, that's sure is a lot of love. Love is just everywhere in this fanfic. Like a gas. Suffocating and completely invisible.

"Mmm Feels so good." Tula said making him smirk before he sucked on her neck making her whimper some more before she gasped as she felt her own orgasm approaching. Tula slammed herself downwards to meet his thrusts so they could come together before she gasped as she came and whimpered as he came deep inside of her as well.

And then they whimpered, gasped and came some more.

Sean pulled her into a kiss making her moan into his mouth.

Or, yeah, that again!

Circe soon rejoined them in the water pressing her breasts against his right arm before they sat in one of the seats enjoying the peace and quiet.

And turbulence and the movie that should still be going on the TV.

"I wonder what the others are up to." Circe said.

With said girls

All of them?!

Alex squealed as her mother licked her ass while fingering her pussy.

Pretty much all the girls were in an orgy of sorts.

I can't help but laugh as you attempted a fraction of focus on your lemon scenes, author, and then just said fuck it and decided instead to list it off after an off-handed statement that everyone is sort of there and sort of fucking. I'm even going to redact all the names of these characters, just to get it through any pigheaded crotch-grabber still reading this just how vapidly bland this all is. Good luck if you can even guess which incestual couple is present here.

Donna and Sam were in the 69 position eating each other out.

Clover was sandwiched between Stella and Gabriella as her mom fucked her upfront while Gabriella fucked her from behind.

Izzy was getting fucked by Juri who had a double strap on vibrator on herself making Izzy moan in bliss.

April was licking Charm casters sex like a pro as the white haired magic user moaned her name out from her skilled tongue.

Tsunade moaned as Diana and Red Sonja sucked on her large breasts while Red Monika rubbed her equally large breasts on her back making her moan even more.

Carla and Keako had their fun with Mira and her little sister Lisanna both using special vibrators on them while having electric nipple clamps on them making them yelp and moan every few minutes with each jolt.

Tessara and Mekeda were kissing each other lovingly as they pressed their breasts together while fingering each other.

Naruko moaned as her mother pressed her pussy against hers while playing with Naruko's breasts making her daughter whimper from her skilled hands.

All and all it was going to be a very fun trip to Hawaii.

All in all there was nothing new here. Even the nipple clamps are old news. You ran dry twenty chapters ago, author, stop pumping.

Hours later

"We're here already? That was quick." Marie said a little disappointed.

"Oh trust me the fun has only just begun." Sean said as they took a few cars to the mansion they would be staying in for the next month.

Another fucking mansion, proving every point I've already made about this author's eternal void of luxurious wish-fulfilment. The only reason they are here at Hawaii must be to claim more randomly scattered bitches.

30 minutes later

"WOW!" The girls yelled seeing the place was even bigger then their home in Beverly hills.

It's almost like Sean never had a reason to blackmail WOOHP into giving him the current mansion, huh?

"Like I said I invest well." Sean said as they walked inside. (For a better description of the place look up my deviant art account Halo956)

A better description? How about actually giving a description in the first place, you miscreant! As if I didn't already need to look up every girl on their respective wiki-pages, when I don't know who the hell they even are, you still demand people browse your stolen CG dream-house gallery!!

"Wow so we get to live here for a whole month?" Alex asked amazed.

"Oh yeah so I would enjoy the month while we can." Sean said as each girl went to find their own room.

Any individual entry on a top ten list of the largest mansions in existence don't have half the amount of bedrooms you demand for your still less than twenty percent complete harem, author, you dumb dullard.

"Why do I get the feeling that more girls will be joining us while we're here?" Carmen asked Sean kissing his neck making him chuckle.

"Like your actually against the idea." Sean said.

You had better stay the hell away from Lilo, you fuckers!

Authors note: Finally! Now another poll is up for the harem selection vote for 50 out of the hundred. Another thing my friend Cloud4012 suggested I should use Chel from the Road to El dorado as a dancer here so I am along with adding some other girls like say Alexis from Yugioh GX and her friends Mindy and Jasmine as models that are in Hawaii and meet him for some private fun. If any of you have some suggestions let me know. Read Review and Vote. See ya.

As if it wasn't obvious enough that the author has no reason to keep writing besides pretending he provides titillation to anyone. He's stuck in the slow lane of a looping race track, thinking he has arrived at a new place after every lap.


And all we got was the finalizing stamps of Wonder Woman, Circe and Tula, while getting a first-time confirmation that Karui, Red Sonja, Red Monika, Mira, Lisanna, and Kushina are even present in the harem. With how the author even kept listing off the bimbos in practically the order they came in before just shrugging off the rest of the head-count, it's painfully obvious the author has no personal investment towards the majority of his masturbation targets, simply wedging them in as reader bait.

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Re: New Spy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Aug 12, 2018 11:00 pm

That redacted sex scene perfectly sums up this fic better than I could, especially when it was written out like a soiled grocery receipt.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Sun Aug 19, 2018 1:17 pm

Hawaii doesn't deserve this. Not that it's going to feel it as I don't even think it'll ever be acknowledged as a location. Here's Chapter 32, Vacation fun part 2.

Chapter 32 Vacation fun part 2

I'm not even going to start on the supposed 'fun', but what exactly is going on here that warrants the title of 'vacation'? Nothing different is happening, most of all in these chapter parts!

Naruko moaned as Sean pounded her from behind while she was in the shower which was incredibly expensive.

Sean's whores demand double pay if it involves being clean.

(Again look up on my account on Deviant art since I've seen a lot of deigns for things like this)

Wasn't it awesome back when J. K. Rowling just told her readers to look up her European castle portfolio, when Harry Potter got his first ever glance of Hogwarts?

Sean smirked before he placed his hands on her large breasts making her whimper from feeling his strong hands playing with her breasts.

"Oh god yes more." Naruko said before gasping as she came hard and whimpered feeling him come inside her womb.

Outside the shower

What, not even a shadow clone technique or something, author? How many balls do you expect to have dropped at the end of this? Do you even know these characters beyond your Rule34 prowling?

Alex Clover and Sam were all outside getting a sun tan in the nude. As they were tanning their mothers were massaging their backs and behinds making them smile.

"So whats on the agenda for Today?"

Hookers that blow?

Carmen asked kissing her daughter's neck making her sigh in bliss.

"Hmm lets see here." Sam said pulling up a list of activities near the city close by. "Oooh theres a lot of cool things we can do. Wet T-Shirt contest dance competition which does allow nudity.

Because, really, what's the point at wearing something at a wet T-shirt contest? And I see the author is already handing out his nudity permission slips, thinking his Beverly Hills nudist paradise will just allow sexual nudity on Hawaii. Because that's all that the minimal mention of nudity is to this author.

Jet skiing water skiing also nude. Oooh sky diving." Sam said remembering she wanted to try to do that so many times for fun and not just for missions.

How about you googled naked skydiving before you fantasized, author? Trust me, it's far from tantalizing, bordering on hilarious actually.

"Well we're heading into town in an hour so you all can pick what you want to do." Sean said with Bridget on his shoulders.

It's getting to the point where he confuses his bimbos for clothing articles now?

"And what are you two going to do?" Carmen asked.

"Whatever we want." Sean said.

Your modus operandi of every chapter, dumbass!


"Wow!" Alex said seeing the city was absolutely beautiful.

Which city you may ask? Well, that one, you know, the author probably has a picture of it on DeviantArt and thinks it's the only one there. And describing the city like he does his blowup dolls makes it that much clearer which one it is.

"Enjoy the sights since we've got a long time here. Now we'll all meet up back here tonight so don't forget." Sean said as they went their separate ways.

"So you ready for some underwater action?" Bridget asked wrapping her arms around his chest making him smirk.

You mean half of what's been going on in your jet engine filled hot tub?

With Sam, Alex and Clover and the MILF's

I'm not even sure the author knows how many of those he put in the harem at this point.

"WOOOO!" Sam yelled as she water skied naked while the crowd cheered her on with many taking pictures. "Take all the pictures you want this slut belongs to a god." Sam said to herself before she decided to tease the crowd by licking her hand and touched herself getting more cheers.

I can't help but notice this author is still so spineless that exhibitionism never happens. Magically making everyone okay with nudity negates the intent of exhibitionists.

"Send me out there." Gabriella said before grabbing her own handle and drifted out with her daughter.

"Hi mommy." Sam said before Gabriella pulled her into a kiss making her moan.

"Alight! Give them a show you sluts!" Carmen yelled while fingering Alex who moaned in bliss.

"Lets give them a show my little whore." Gabriella said licking her daughter's ear which made her moan before gasping as her mother used one hand to finger her pussy while licking her neck.

"Oh mommy." Sam moaned in bliss before Gabriella got behind her and held her handle before lifting Sam up and had her pussy in front of her face [and licked it making Sam gasp] and let go of her handle and went down low to her mother's pussy [and licked it making Gabriella moan] as well while the crowd cheered.

"Look at those sluts go." Stella said as Clover ate her out.

"Mmm." Carmen moaned as Alex sucked on her breasts like a baby.

Is the author just getting high off his own dick fumes at this point? This entire scenario is getting so unrestrained out of hand, I would not be surprised if there came an anvil down from on high, because this is borderline Looney Tunes!


Tsunade, Samui, Carla and Naruko were getting their backs massaged by other more adventures women.

More adventurous than these bimbos who traversed dimensions to be here?

"Mmm thats right." Tsunade said as a woman managing her rubbed the right spots before she turned on her back and let her play with her large breasts as did Samui.

And let's not forget the author's stable, double-jerking, multitasking, fix-it-all statement of 'as did *insert name here*'.

"Mmm You mind sucking on mine?" Naruko asked getting the woman to smile and did just that making Naruko moan.


Sean smirked as he and Bridget who was dressed in a sling bikini watched a small dance of exotic women dance. One of the Dancers who was named Chel smirked at Sean giving him a seductive look making Sean and Bridget smirk already making some plans after the dance was over.

This is what you stated you would write, author, but this is not storytelling. This is you padding your cliff-notes, dressing them up as paragraphs, and whoring them out to readers gullible enough to not realize they've already finished jerking off to the scenario in their head, just like you already did!

Chel moaned as Sean after pulling Chel into a dark corner had her against the wall while kissing her neck making her moan in bliss.

Bridget was behind her playing with her breasts.

She was dragging a toy car across them, making funny noises with her mouth.

"Please I cant take anymore please put it in me." Chel said in bliss.

"Ask and you shall receive." Sean said thrusting his cock into her pussy making her gasp but Bridget silenced her by pulling her into a kiss making her moan. Sean smirked as he thrusted into Chel hard and fast making her breast bounce with each thrust making her whimper.

"Doesn't it feel good? Imagine living with us 24/7. You'll be in heaven."

Even if Sean stayed awake all twenty-four hours, never ate, never worked, never did anything but having sex, an equal distribution of dicking for the supposed current 88 bitches would not even reach 16½ minutes. Not that the author can manage to depict any sex scene to convincingly last more than two minutes, but I hardly think that was what he was going for.

Bridget said bitting her ear making Chel whimper before she gasped feeling her approaching climax before she whimpered out in bliss feeling her orgasm happen while feeling him come inside her womb.

With another 'whimper' here and maybe another 'bliss' there, your word choices might come off as slightly more repetitive than your fetish list, author.

"Please I'm yours." Chel said making Sean and Bridget smirk.

Authors Note: Sorry this isn't so long but I just wanted to get this out of the way to build up some suspense one whats going to happen.

Suspense? What is there to be suspenseful about? This is 'Sean gets bitches and wins' The Fanfic #6, you fucking idiot!

Also I've been thinking of a chapter with Diana taking Sean to her home and having sex in the arena while arousing the other women of her home.

Because of course someone in the reviews mentioned the other Amazons, so now the author has to use what scraps of ideas he could rake in.

A mother daughter sister act.

Because we were in such short supply of those, of course.

Let me know what you think. Lay down some suggestions of what you'd all like to see in the next chapter. Read and Review. See ya.

I would like to see something, author. Anything. You bring nothing to life in these chapters, even had they not been pathetically short at this point. Stating that so and so are doing this and that, while uttering derogatory statements that tickles your noodle, with no prior event connecting with what follows, this is not a story. It's not even sex scenes. People say that a picture says more than a thousand words, and yet you can only dedicate on average about fifty for each porn image that allowed you inspiration for this strung-together shit.


And all that's happened is that Naruko got confirmed as being nailed, and a few strays got confirmed in the harem. I feel like I'm starting to be as invested in keeping track of this as the author is; barely at all.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Wed Aug 22, 2018 11:29 am

We are nearing the ends of this fanfic's current chapter count. And the last ounces of the author's special brand of effort is running dry, too. Here's Chapter 33, vacation fun part 3.

Chapter 33 vacation fun part 3

These chapters are just getting shorter and shorter. We are talking 720 words without title and author's note, people. This author is out of steam and inspiration, by far.

Diana moaned in bliss as Sean thrusted into her with quick hard thrusts making her ass smack against his waist and her breasts moved up and down with each thrust.

Oh, I'm sorry, I must have picked Chapter 31 again by mistake, since the author probably wouldn't recycle that name for his opening masturbation sock this early.

"Mmmm so good!" Diana moaned out before Sean pulled her into a kiss making her moan more as she felt his tongue enter her mouth making her battle him with hers.

"Just imagine doing this in front of your people. Wonder how they would react seeing the strong proud Wonder Woman acting like a whore?"

This author is even premature in presenting his sideways-injected ideas, desperate for gratification as he injects ham-fisted declarations of what's going to take place later. This is the all-buildup-and-no-climax strip club all over again.

Sean said making her let out a shuddering gasp as he pinched her nipples as she pictured herself in the battle arena on her island.

Because there are only battle arenas on Themyscira, according to this Sparta-pretender's mind, of course.

She could practically see herself on her hands and knees being fucked like she is now with all her Amazon sisters watching in awe and lust her mother and sister shocked beyond words as she was fucked mercilessly in front of them all.

Author, you might as well note this down as the actual event, because as with everything else you paint a picture of, you won't ever put more details into it than this.

"Oh good GOD!"

Not Hera, or any other member of the Greek pantheon, mind you. As if the author isn't already thinking his self-insert is one.

Diana screamed before she came hard before he pulled out and shoved his cock down her throat making her gag before he came into her mouth making her moan from his rich taste before it stopped and he pulled out as she swallowed it all. "Delicious." Diana said before feeling his still hard cock touching her breasts.

"So ready for more?" Sean asked making her giggle before pressing her breasts around his cock.

Author, you'd better stop scratching your ass and learn some vocabulary BEFORE your shitty writing degrades to worse than a fifth grader's.

"I am going to enjoy this when I take you to my island so you can show my sisters what you've done to me." Diana said making him smirk.


"Ah We so needed this." Courtney said as she Heather and Lindsey sun bathed outside the mansion in the nude.

Because they couldn't, and somehow also didn't already do this back at the mansion in Beverly Hills. Why are we here?!

They were also watching Alex and her mother make love in the pool with Alex sitting on the edge of the pool while her mother licked her pussy making Alex moaned and shover her head in deeper.

None of that unbirthing shit, please!

"So whats the plan for Today?" Yumi asked as Tsunade rubbed her giant breasts on her back making her moan.

"I say we just enjoy the day here." Juri said as she and Erza laid in the sun getting a tan.

"No way not when theres so much more to do out there." Clover said before they heard Diana screaming in bliss.

"I think we're going to be staying here for the day honey." Stella said kissing her neck making her moan.

People doing nothing new - the most exciting chapter yet, folks.

Diana was panting in sexual bliss as Sean was giving her ass a good spanking making her ass turn bright red before she was pulled up and pulled into a kiss making her moan.

Sean then held her upside down in the jackhammer position and started thrusting into her ass making her eyes roll into the back of her head.

"Enjoying this princess?" Sean asked while fingering her pussy in the front

As opposed to her pussy in the back?

making her eyes widen before her tongue hanged out of her mouth.

"Oh good god! I'm at my limit!" Diana yelled out before he took one last deep thrust into her ass making her cum hard before he pulled out and came all over her face and body as she was out cold with a sexually satisfied smile on her face.

Sean pulled the covers over her body

Because they were in a bedroom, apparently. I thought we cut to "meanwhile" anyway, is this retconning the previous scene?

before heading to the shower where Carmen was at making him smirk as he snuck up behind her and grabbed her breasts making her giggle before turning to face him and kissed him.

"Care to scream out your name honey?" Carmen asked

As much as I'd like for the caveman to inanely announce himself, have anyone ever bothered to scream out his name?

before he shoved her into the wall and thrusted into her sex making her moan while suddenly from behind Alex came and pressed her breasts against his back.

"Mind if I join in?" Alex asked before yelping as he placed her over his shoulders placing her pussy in his face before licking it making her moan.

You've piled more than 80 other skanks into this fanfic, author, and yet you keep defaulting back to the spies. What is even the point of the harem?

Sean continued to please his women while Alex pulled her mother into a kiss making 1 her moan before 1 she jumped off his face and licked her mother's ass making 2 her mother moan out even more before 2 she gasped as she came and felt him cum inside her womb as well making 3 her legs get weak and fell down slowly and Alex pulled her into another kiss before 3 Sean lined himself up against her ass making 4 her gasp before 4 thrusting back to meet his thrusts.

What talent. I mean that. It takes trained talent to be this oblivious about your own lacking abilities at mastering the written word, by fucking up this much. At least other authors can make run-on sentences without constantly repeating themselves.

Authors Note: Just a little teaser for the next chapter. Sorry if it's very short but trust me it will be well worth it in the long run. Read and Review See ya.

Because your plot-bankrupt ass can't even finish this arc without scrambling to inject your latest thought and passing it off as a chapter. Face it, author, you've got nothing worth writing about.


And the harem has remained unchanged. The author just reiterated through the spies and their mothers with random late comers or the Total Drama Island cast. It's grating, even for this tripe.

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Re: New Spy

Post by ConcernedGamer » Fri Aug 24, 2018 4:32 am

Last part of this dumb, nonsensical, reasonless pretend of a location shift. The author couldn't even bother getting back to the airplane. Here's Chapter 34, vacation fun final.

Chapter 34 vacation fun final

Down to 637 words this time. This mock isn't even a challenge or sport at this point, it's a walk in the park.

Juri, Tsunade, Donna, Leshawana, Katie and Karui were twerking to a crowd of people in nothing but sling bikinis while the crowd cheered them on.

Really, author? Twerking? Just parade your cobbled-together throng of slut-tropes before the ever courteously distant crowd of applauding onlookers in the void, to have them do the second worst public performance of sex-alluding pretend-dancing, right below that of excessive pelvic thrusts?

"This is our last day here better make it count."

Like the author did, having all of these vacation parts up till this point collectively come up shorter than 'Chapter 22 total drama island part 3'.

Alex said before she got on a stage and flashed the crowd making them cheer louder. Carmen soon came up behind her daughter and pulled the rest of her bikini off before kissing her ass making her moan making the crowd which was all women cheer some more.

You are such a simpleton, author, injecting your flaccid erection safety-net as an afterthought, too scared to even imply men besides Sean and his token, out-of-nowhere best friends exists.

"Everything's alright now, folks, after its third mention I finally remembered to tell you the unexplained crowd exists of nothing but women, so you may start masturbating again." - are you even real, author?!

Sam and her mother were in the 69 position eating each other out.

Clover and Stella were scissoring each other while kissing one another.

Yumi was giving the crowd an erotic dance fingering herself before one of the girls came up and kissed her making her moan into the kiss.

Any girl, doesn't matter, the author couldn't care because he lost interest in this scenario several chapters ago, but couldn't figure out how to skip it before now.

Now where was Sean you're wondering well.

Wondering? It's not a matter of wondering, author, it's a matter of people anticipating the worst when you feel the urge to once again masturbate over your Spartan-sona.

Sean was at the beach by a bonfire with a group of people before a woman with Blonde hair and green eyes caught his attention as she was smiling at him before she sat down next to him.

Soon however both went to the ocean.

"Whats your name again?" Sean asked.

"Chrissie." Chrissie said. (Look her up from JAWS DUN DUN!)

If even you diehard movie fans out there are wondering what the author is prattling on about, we are talking about the shark's first kill. This author watched an old movie death scene of an identity-empty woman being torn to shreds and eaten alive and he got a hard-on, and now we all suffer because of it, because that might just be the catalyst origin of this guy's fetishes.

"Where we going?" Sean asked.

"Swimming of course." Chrissie said taking off all her clothes before she was naked. Sean smirked at this before taking off all his own clothes and both went into the water.

"Well this is fun."

"We took off all our clothes and walked into the ocean. Fun!"

Sean said making her laugh before she pulled him into a kiss.

"Want to make this even more fun?" Chrissie said swimming to one of the water buoys.

Does the author not know porn parodies exist? I mean, no one can be this dense or sheltered, or lacking self-awareness enough to not know this has been done to death for its iconic setting, right? Porn parodies and even unrelated spoof movies have parodied it to death, and this author is presenting it in such a way, that you just know he think he made it up himself.

Sean smirked before swimming up to her and she got on the buoy and spread her legs for him.

"Well come on big boy." Chrissie said before moaning as Sean came

Well, that was quick.

and started licking her pussy lips making her smile before playing with his hair.

Chrissie moaned out loudly as his skilled tongue went to all the right places inside of her before she gasped as she came hard and panted in bliss.

With your understanding of female anatomy, author, you probably think one of those right places inside her is her womb.

"Mmm That was amazing." Chrissie said before yelping as he flipped the Buoy over before he climbed up and pulled her up. "Wow your even stronger then you look."

It's called being ignorant of how buoys are anchored in the bottom, and thinking strength of a floating person will allow them to do anything but push themselves away from shit, Chrissie. This fanfic is nothing but things happening because the author wants them to happen.

Chrissie said getting on her hands and knees shaking her ass at him before whimpering [in bliss as he thrusted into her] needing pussy hard and deep making her sigh [in bliss as he thrusted into her].

For fuck sake, you miserable hack, that repetition wasn't even ten words apart!!

Next day (I know this is a little short but hey I've got plenty of surprises for later)

If all you do is look to the horizon for the next thing you can think of, how can you even pretend to have as much as justified what you've managed to produce, author?

"Whoa!" Chrissie said seeing the mansion.

"Nice to see you love the place honey." Sean said kissing her making her smile before stripping out of her clothes and walked around the place.


And we'll just file another bimbo under 'f' for forgettable.

Sean was at WHOOP getting a check up on his enhanced abilities.

"Remarkable." Jerry said.

"What?" Sean said.

"You weren't given a chance to complain about getting here, the author must truly be slacking off."

"While your enhanced abilities have slowed down the amount of them is surprising. Unbreakable skin. Able to make any element from your body such as steel or even Kryptonite to fight against Superman. These abilities are remarkable." Jerry said.

That sure was a lot of abilities listed there, wasn't it? Also, you might as well just call Sean omnipotent, because changing into any element he wants borders on that shit.

"Any advice?" Sean asked.

Advice for what? Getting it up? You've mastered and shrugged off any ability you've been given, what do you want advice for?

"Well I do have a friend who has an institute for gifted individuals. I'll see what I can do." Jerry said.

Oh, of course, an excuse to drag the X-Men into this shit. A bit late, you mutagen bastard.

"Alright thanks. Anyway I got to go." Sean said.


Sean appeared on the watchtower where Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern and Superman were at.

"Ready to get into the real action kid" Lantern asked.

"I was born ready." Sean said grinning.

Being a Marty Stu, of course you were.

"You still need a name." Superman said.

"I got one that fits perfectly. Ghost of Sparta. Named after one of my homes greatest warriors in ancient times." Sean said.

Kratos. The God of War. You know, with this author's honestly childishly naive yet self-indulgently obsessive craving to pretend to be in with Spartans, I knew we would somehow eventually end up here. Just like with Freddy Krueger and the bimbo brigade, there is no context, no self-awareness, no restraint. Not even shame enters the author's pilfering mindset, as he only thinks about what he wants, draws that name in crayon, and then pretends that is all he has to do to inherit, embody, or emulate everything great about it, before he busts a nut all over its hollow likeness. And now, as the author is adamant about playing super hero, what does he chose as his heroic persona, his stupid 'code name'? Ghost of Sparta. The name of infamy branded as punishment to the perpetrator of crimes of mindless slaughter, warmongering, and the nigh unquenchable rage that made him kill his own family. What a great warrior, and what a great name for you, Sean. Even if you burnt down your entire harem and bathed in the ash pile, you would have no justification for the likeness, as there are no convincing emotional attachment to be had anywhere in this fanfic, author, you petulant, self-absorbed brat!!

"Catchy." Flash said.

"So wheres Bats?" Sean asked.

"In Gotham brooding as usual." Wonder Woman said making him sigh in annoyance.

"His lose." Sean said.

We get it, you and your mind-enslaved ego-strokers won't allow Batman into your clubhouse, author, because he's the only one who knows you are nothing but a conceited, whiny chest-pounder with the likability and intelligence of a five-year-old's crusted boogers.

Authors Note: Yeah I know its very short but I couldn't think of anything. Sorry.

You never could, author. You based this entire fanfic on ripping off Totally Spies! episodes, interrupted by your ineffectual attempts at masturbation propellant. Your written work presents itself as being made by someone intellectually bankrupt, a loser, a lout, and a model for incompetence. When you base your inspiration on how long you think you can manage to rub your crotch before losing interest, you - you in particular - get nowhere, as demonstrated by this fanfic, and no doubt the rest you've produced.

Anyway next chapter will be a justice league chapter. Also if you haven't voted in my current poll for X men Evolution crossover harem please do so. Read Review and Vote. See ya.

The author simply dips his toe in whatever briefly contemplated crossover he has and moves on. This is sloppy, lazy, and not even genuine at this point. This fanfic's occasional hiatus is telling of the life support it's being kept on, with the author only keeping it alive due to the popularity it undeservedly drew to itself by the tasteless, tactless, and talentless portrayal of everything within it subverting common sense.


Chrissie has been added, as well as Kratos, dead and soiled for this author's rape and misuse of him in narrative fashion, like with Mortal Kombat as a whole. I've ranted on this a lot already. I'm tired. One chapter left, then hopefully this fanfic will never rise from hiatus to ruin anything else.

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Re: New Spy

Post by GorillaGamer » Fri Aug 24, 2018 9:06 pm

It seems that there is light at the end of this cum-stained tunnel. I'd comment about the harem, but I'll wait a bit before bringing it up. Good job on mocking the vacation "arc" of this fic; I don't think I could've gone this far if I was mocking the fic.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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