Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

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GorillaGamer
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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Jan 20, 2019 12:10 am

So after all that ass talk and a complete disservice to the Zero Escape franchise, let’s see how the author messes up this card game.

Clover: 4000
Hongou: 4000


“I hope you don’t mind if I take the first turn.” Hongou commented. “I’ll play Ancient Gear Castle, and summon Ancient Gear Knight in attack mode, before ending my turn with a card facedown.”

ATK: (1800-2100)
AGC Counter: 1


Yo, I loved Ancient Gears as a kid. A one trick pony that involves dealing massive amounts of damage; perfect for when you want to turn your brain off while dueling.

“T-that’s a pretty small turn?” Kubota commented, concerned over how the duel will play out.

“True, but the greatest victories start with the smallest steps.” Nijisaki reminded his co-worker, finely adjusting his lapel.

“So you’re running Ancient Gears? Better deal with them before they can get going, I draw!” Clover called out, and studied the cards in her hand. “Excellent; I’ll start off by playing Fire Formation-Tenki, enabling me to add a Beas-Warrior from my deck to my hand. Then I’ll activate the effect of Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Coyote to special summon him from my hand.”

Fire Fists? An interesting choice for Clover, given the swarmy, beatdown nature of the deck. At the very least, the title gave us some indication about what we’re in for.

ATK: (2000-2100)

“But that’s not all; I’ll play Fire Formation-Tensu to give Coyote an additional boost, and grant me a second normal summon this turn.” Clover continued, playing her spell card.

ATK: (2100-2200)

“I’ll activate my Tensu to summon Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Bear in attack mode, then I’ll summon Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Dragon from my hand. And since I activated a Fire Formation card this turn, I can activate Dragon’s effect to set one directly from my deck, but I can’t activate it this turn.” Clover continued once more, making quite the impressive play.

ATK: (1600-1800)
ATK: (1800-2000)
AGC Counter: 3


“T-Three monsters in one turn?!” Musashidou gasped in surprise.

Yeah, it’s all the rage these days, what with their super speedy decks and Link Monsters.

“Time to clean your clock! Coyote, destroy Ancient Gear Knight.” Clover declared, as the noble warrior sent his flame-cloaked spirit to destroy the mechanical soldier, sending bits of debris everywhere.

Hongou: 3900

“Then I’ll follow up with a direct attack from Dragon; Draconic Flare!” Clover called out, as the warrior got his spirit to fire a massive stream of flames at the enemy, striking Hongou dead on as he quickly activated his trap. When the smoke died down, a weird token of sorts was sitting idly on his field.

“Now that was a close one; had I not had my Golden Apple of Malus on the field, I would’ve lost.” Hongou chimed in, a smile on his face.

No, you would’ve lived on 100 Lifepoints. That said, good job jamming in a trap that has nothing to do with the archetype and does nothing to further your plays.

“Tch, I’ll end my turn then.” Clover sighed in frustration.

“Very well then, it’s my turn.” Hongou drew his card, as a sinister smirk appeared on his face. “Since I’m so kind, I’ll show off my exclusive skill to you. Go, Gadget Exchange!”

“Oh no, not a skill!” Astolfo cried out in fear.

“I don’t recall skills being a thing in the game; is it some newly released gimmick to breathe some life into the game?” Light inquired.

Why yes they are. And if the Duel Links community is to be believed, 90% of them are completely useless.

“No, they’re cheat codes that Krishna gives to his followers, because the Divine Powers have several followers who work in Industrial Illusions.” Astolfo explained, as a concerned look appeared on his allies faces.

“Now that’s totally wack; the poor girl’s at an unfair disadvantage.” Cain protested.

“I appreciate your concern, but Clover’s quite the capable young woman; in fact I’m sure she’s already working out a plan of action to deal with this.” Light reassured them.

“Now as I was gonna say before the peanut gallery chimed in, Gadget Exchange allows me to tribute tokens on my field, and special summon ‘Gadget’ monsters from my deck, equal to the amount of tokens tributed. Come on out, Yellow Gadget!” Hongou explained, as a small yellow machine appeared on his field. “Then I’ll tribute it to summon Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Chimera!”

Oh, he’s running the “Gadget” monsters, a series of cards that most Ancient Gear decks don’t run, due to how outdated they are when compared to the most recent support. And here I was, hoping for a Golem beatdown frenzy. That said, this skill he has is a one trick pony, and not one of the good one like Ancient Gears.

ATK: (2300-2600)
AGC Counter: 4


“Ehahahahahahah! How’d you like that move, you brat?!” Kubota sneered at Clover, who chose not to respond to the question.

“Now my Chimera, destroy her Bear with Mechanised Fang!” Hongou declared, as the massive machine leapt at the warrior and eviscerated him with it’s sharp fangs.

Clover: 2500

“Ouch, I forgot about how it gains effects depending on what Gadget was tributed for it’s summon.” Clover winced in pain.

“I’m glad I was able to refresh your memory then. I’ll set a card facedown and end my turn.” Hongou stated.

“Hmmm, I’m in a bit of a pickle it seems…guess I better draw then.” Clover commented, as she drew her card and studied it, and came up with a clever plan. “I’ll set a card facedown and end my turn.”

“Ending your turn that quickly? Very well then, I draw.” Hongou declared, as he studied his opponent’s field. From the look of things, it appeared that Clover was trying to bait him into attacking, only to fall into her trap and get devastated by her counter attack. “I’ll set a monster facedown and end my turn.”

“W-Wha? You’re not attacking?!” Kubota protested. “Why aren’t you finishing her off?”

It’s called doing something other than mindlessly attack each other like Rock-em, Sock-em robots.

“Come on now, do you really expect me to blunder into such an obvious trap?” Hongou replied, only for Clover to start laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“You fell for it, hook, line and sinker.” Clover smirked, drawing her next card. “I only set it down to trick you into thinking it was a trap, and it worked.”

“I-Impossible!” Hongou gasped in surprised, as the heroes cheered at Clover’s quick thinking.

Oh, piss off! I tried that shit so many times, and not once did it work.

“Way to go, Clover! You teach that man a lesson.” Adrienn cheered.

“See? I told you that my sister would find a way out of this mess.” Light smiled confidently.

“Now then, I’ll summon Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Boar and combine him with my Dragon to Synchro Summon Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Kirin.” Clover stated, as her two warriors merged with one another to form a powerful general in all black, his almighty horse spirit floating around his body. “Since I summoned Kirin this turn, I get to set a Fire Formation spell directly from my deck. But it won’t be set for long, as I’ll activate it and my other facedown. Behold my latest Fire Formations, Yoko and Kaiyo!”

ATK: (2200-2600)
ATK: (2000-2600)


“F-Four Fire Formation cards! She must be a champion-tier player!” Nijisaki commented, turning to his superior. “Y-You can beat her, right?”

That reminds me, if Kubota got his ass handed to him by Clover, then why is he being awfully silent about her strategy? You’d think he’d offer some advice like “Hey, her deck relies on the Fire Formation spells. May I suggest dealing with them as soon as possible?” but no, he’s just standing there like a complete tool as his boss gets his ass handed to him.

“Of course I can! Who do you think I—hey, why did my Chimera lose some attack points?!” Hongou inquired, surprised by the turn of events.

ATK: (2600-2200)

“Sorry, I should’ve let you known that while Kirin is on the field, all your monsters lose 100atk for every card in my spell/trap zone.” Clover smiled, a hint of cheekiness behind it. “Anyway, Kaiyos effect activates, enabling me to deal piercing damage to a monster in Defense position. Now my Kirin, eliminate that pesky Chimera with Ethereal Gallop!”

The general sicced his spirit at the chimera, as it whinnied loudly before charging towards its enemy and destroyed it effortlessly.

Hongou: 3500

“Attack his facedown monster Coyote, with Wild Flare!” the young girl continued, as the warrior sicced his spirit onto Hongou’s facedown monster and destroyed it, revealing it to be a Dandylion. “Pffft, like your tokens can do anything to stop me. I’ll set a card facedown and end my turn.”

Yes, the tokens that are utilized by his skill to further his plays are completely harmless. Remind me how you became a top-notch duelist again?

Hongou: 1200

“T-This is bad, this is bad, THIS IS BAD!!!!” Kubota started to panic. “This is wrong! THIS. IS. WRONG!!!!”

“Compose yourself you fool! We can still win this!” Nijisaki scolded his co-worker.

“Yeah, after all Hongou was the previous champion before that Dilly fellow showed up and stole the spotlight.” Musashidou replied, a wistful look on his face.

Say what you will about the guy but being able to juggle two completely different jobs at the same time is an impressive feat.

“Whatever happened to that guy anyway?”

“He got his soul siphoned, because he was a degenerate bastard who hates Pokémon fangames and sided with Krishna. Goes to show what happens to those who lose a Shesha Duel.” Astolfo commented.

“Shesha Duel…so that’s what they’re called.” Light mused to himself, raising his hand to his chin. “In any case, this duel isn’t a Shesha Duel, so I don’t see what Kubota’s worked up about.”

He’s probably worked up about how generic that name is. Almost makes you think that you’re dueling the giant snake itself, but that would require it to do a damn thing in this fic.

“He’s probably angry that his boy toy’s gonna lose this duel.” Cain smirked playfully, as Hongou started chuckling. “Hey, what’s so funny?”

“I was just amused by your assumptions that I’m gonna lose.” Hongou smiled at them, as he drew his card and looked at it. “Ah, this should do nicely. I’ll activate Card of Sanctity, enabling the both of us to draw cards until we have six in our hands.”

“Fine by me.” Clover replied, as both duelists drew their cards, a twisted smirk appearing on Hongou’s face.

“I’m sorry to say this, but the game’s already won.” He coldly replied, his voice brimming with menacing intent.

He’s gonna summon Chaos Ancient Gear Giant, isn’t he? If so, Clover may as well save her dignity and scoop—

“Already won, what are you going on about?” Clover demanded, resting her hands on her hips as Hongou chuckled in response.

“I guess I’ll have to show you then; I’ll activate my skill Gadget Exchange to tribute my Fluff Tokens and summon Red Gadget and Green Gadget from my deck. Then I’ll tribute them and send my Ancient Gear Castle to the graveyard to special summon Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Dragon!” Hongou declared, as a massive mechanical dragon emerged onto the field and stared down Clover’s monsters. “The gadgets I scarified give my dragon some powerful abilities; Green enables it to deal piercing damage, and Red deals an extra 400 points of damage every time it deals battle damage.”

“Woah! That’s one menacing card!” Clover exclaimed.

“Oh, I’m far from done. I’ll activate Scapegoat to special summon four Sheep Tokens, then I’ll activate Gadget Exchange once more to tribute them to special summon a Red Gadget, Green Gadget and two Yellow Gadgets from my deck. Then I’ll tribute a Yellow Gadget and my Green Gadget to summon a second Gadjiltron Dragon, with Yellow Gadget granting it the ability to deal 600 points of damage every time it destroys a monster. Then I’ll use Double Summon, enabling me to tribute my Red and Yellow Gadgets to summon my final Gadjiltron Dragon!” Hongou continued, as he started laughing maniacally.



What the fuck is this? No literally, what the fuck is this?! I could spend an entire page ranting about this clusterfuck of a turn, and how illegal all the plays are.

Let’s get started right away; my knowledge of skills is limited, but I do remember something about how they can only be used a certain amount of times per duel, and only once per turn; Hongou promptly ignored that rule and used Gadget Exchange twice. Then there’s the fact that you can’t special summon monsters with Ancient Gear Castle’s effect, rather that it uses up your normal summon, provided you have enough counters on it. Speaking of which, you don’t tribute additional monsters upon activating the card, meaning that the first Gadjiltron Dragon shouldn’t get its effects it gains by tributing Gadget monsters. Lastly, even if he used Double Summon to bring out a second Gadjiltron Dragon, he shouldn’t have been able to summon the third one, because he had already used his normal summon with the first dragon.

What the hell was this shit?! The author made a few mistakes here and there in the other duels, but none of them were as egregious as this four-part salvo. And no Hongou, you cannot use your prosopagnosia as an excuse for your blatant cheating.

Read the Rulebook, Dumbass: 17


“It’s time to end this once and for all! I’ll have my second Gadjiltron Dragon destroy your Coyote; Mechanised Fury!”

The massive monster swooped down towards the warrior and effortlessly eviscerated him with it’s sharp, rusted fangs.

Clover: 1500

“Then I’ll have my third Gadjiltron Dragon attack Kirin with Mechanised Fury as well!” Hongou continued his assault, as the mechanical monstrosity effortlessly destroyed her general, leaving Clover wide open to attack.

Clover: 100

“S-She’s down to her last hundred lifepoints!” Adrienn cried out in fear. “And he’s still got one more monster that can attack!”
“C-Clover!” Light called out to his sister, fear coursing through his veins.

What’s all the fuss about? You know that she isn’t going to lose her soul upon losing. Besides, you have the advantage in numbers should he attempt to kidnap her.

“Ehahahahahahah! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Hongou laughed maniacally, outstretching his arms. “This is the end Clover; now my first Gadjiltron Dragon, attack the little brat directly—“

“Not so fast! By declaring a direct attack, I can activate Swift Scarecrow’s effect, enabling me to end the battle phase by discarding him!” Clover called out, sending her card to the graveyard.

“Heh, struggle while you can Clover. Nothing can defeat my trio of terror. I’ll end my turn.” Hongou smirked dangerously, as Clover eyed up her deck. She had all the pieces in her had to make a comeback, but she needs to draw the right card to kickstart the combo.

“I…I draw!” the young girl declared, drawing her card as everyone watched her with bated breath. She gazed at the card she drew, a small smile in her hand. “Perfect…I’ll activate Rekindling to special summon Fire type monsters from my graveyard, but they’re destroyed at the end of the turn. Come back to me; Boar, Dragon, Bear and Coyote!”

Rekindling only works on Fire monsters with 200 defense points, hence why most fire archetypes of the modern era feature monsters with 200 defense points. None of those monsters Clover summoned fit the criteria, making this another illegal move.

Read the Rulebook, Dumbass: 18


As if by magic, the group of warriors returned from the grave and locked eyes with their mechanical enemies, power coursing through their bodies.

ATK: (1100-1700)
ATK: (1800-2400)
ATK: (1600-2200)
ATK: (2000-2600)


“Oh come on now, what can they do against my Gadjiltron army?” Hongou inquired, curious over her strange play.

“Wait and see; next I’ll summon Brotherhood of the Fire Fist – Raven in attack mode and activate the spell, Secret Pass to the Treasure. Since Raven has a base attack of 1000 or less, it can attack directly this turn.” Clover smiled.

ATK: (200-800)

“So you intend to use Secret Pass to deal a direct attack with your Raven? Quite the clever move, but it won’t be enough to defeat me this turn.” Hongou complimented her move, only for Clover to smirk in response.

“Then perhaps I better change that then; I’ll activate Union Attack and select my Raven.” She continued, as the smug look on Hongou’s face evaporated upon hearing that card’s name.

“U-Union Attack, y-you don’t mean…” he stuttered, realising that the Rekindling was used to power up an offense with Union Attack.

Yep, Clover’s relying on a combo that utilizes two cards that have no use whatsoever in a dedicated Fire Fist deck. I dread seeing just how bad the author’s own deck is, if this is how he writes his heroes out of a tight pinch.

ATK: (800-9700)

“Yep, it’s battle time.” Clover smiled sweetly, as Raven was powered up by his allies. “Now Raven, deal the finishing blow to your enemy; Blazing Wing!”

The warrior channelled his spirit and directed it at Hongou, as it deftly flew by the imposing dragons and struck the CEO dead-on.

“GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Hongou cried out as his lifepoints dropped to zero instantly.

Hongou: 0
Winner: Clover


It’s a good thing I had that break, because this was the worst duel so far. Both players are guilty of making illegal players, though Hongou’s is worse when you factor in that he was a former champion. Speaking of which, he sacrificed the beatdown strategy that Ancient Gears rely on, in favour of outdated Gadget shit. And while there was an attempt to emulate the play-style of the Fire Fists, it still felt lackluster in the long run, to the point where Clover used a strategy from outdated farm decks in Duel Links to secure a victory.

“I-I lost…” Hongou commented sadly, falling to his knees as his co-workers went to console there boss.

“I’d celebrate my victory, but now is the perfect time to run.” Clover pointed out, as the heroes quickly bolted from the area.

“I gotta say, that was a slick comeback you made.” Astolfo complimented her. “Using vintage cards to secure a victory is quite the admirable feat. I wish more duelists would try it out.”

“Cute and powerful, I can tell we’re gonna get along just fine…” Cain smiled.

Huh, perhaps that joke about Cain and Light going at it might come to fruition.

“You can flirt with each other once we get back to base.” Adrienn interjected, as the heroes continued running for their lives.

0000

“I-I can’t believe you lost to that little brat.” Kubota commented, surprised by Hongou’s defeat. “W-What do we do know?!”

“I-I’m not too sure myself. Perhaps we can give Krishna the rest of Musashidou’s chips as a token of our apologies.” Nijisaki cracked a joke, smirking to himself.

Well as they say, the best way to a deity’s heart is through his stomach.

“G-Get your own chips! These ones are mine!” Musashidou retorted defensively, cradling his bag of chips, only for the group of four to hear golf-clapping from behind them.

“Fantastic, fan-fucking-tastic! You lot must fucking suck ass to lose to that bitch of all people.” A condescending voice insulted them, as a blonde man in a ringmaster’s uniform walked up to them.

“Who the hell are you?!” Hongou got up and demanded an answer, as the ringmaster raised his hands defensively.

“Whoa there, settle down old man. The name’s Dio; I’m an agent of the Divine Powers like the lot of you. Couldn’t help but watch you get creamed by that bitch Clover, and not in the good way.” The man introduced himself, tipping his top hat.

Dio? From Virtues Last Reward? What the hell is he doing acting all chummy with the Divine Powers, when he’s already part of another cult?!

“Ah, you must be the veteran agent that was sent to escort us to Tsukiji Kongangi.” Nijisaki commented, extending his hand. “I take it you know who we are.”

“Yeah, you’re the Cradle Pharmaceutical guys that kick-started that godforsaken Nonary Game. Do you know how fucked up it was?! I had to be partnered with that bitch Clover, and she did nothing but goof around with her dipshit friends!” Dio retorted nastily. “Anyway, I have to bring your ass to HQ, since the Matriarch’s making her debut.”

“The Matriarch? You mean she’s really gonna grace us with her presence?!” Hongou exclaimed, shocked by what he just heard.

Oh no, another shadowy figure. What’s the tally for them again?

“Yes, that’s what I just said. Now hurry the fuck up!” Dio demanded, as the group of five quickly made their way to Tsukiji Kongangi.

What an amazing chapter. And yes, that is the Dio from Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward. I figured that since Hongou was gonna be a villain, why not have Dio join in on the fun as well? Anyway, the next chapter shall feature the complete list of villains who’ll serve the Divine Powers in this fic, and will be the debut of the Matriarch, who I bet none of you would guess her identity correctly.

See ya, everyone!


Great, now the author promises us an updated villain list with ALL his punching bags. Wonder who’ll get reduced to obstacles to sate the authors desires. I’m quite curious as to who this Matriarch is; my guess would be the deity Inanna, given that she played a vital role in Apocalypse’s story, and was an actual member of the Divine Powers, but knowing this author, it’ll be the last person I’d expect. Oh well, see you next time.

Read the Rulebook, Dumbass: 18


Made Up Skill:

Gadget Exchange

Effect: Activate only if you have a Token on your field; tribute all Tokens on the field and special summon ‘Gadget’ monsters from your deck, up to the number of Tokens that were tributed.

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin stolen)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Gaston
Clover
Light

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Big Smoke
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake
Cal
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius
Redi
Sam
Elia
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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StabbyKobold
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:51 am
Location: Denmark
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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by StabbyKobold » Mon Jan 28, 2019 2:27 pm

Good work on the mock. I can't believe this goddamn story is still going.

Every time it starts to be, well I definitely wouldn't say interesting, but certainly different by injecting new characters completely unafiliated with the current conflict, it always returns to the same tired schtick of "let's argue about Pokémon fangames by bringing up the same tired points for the twenieth time," and "let's solve our disputes through card games."

On top of this, every character in this mess has all the emotional and motivational depth of a child. The villains are incompetent idiots who must always laugh derisively during card battles, the heroes are selfindulgent and selfrighteous airheads more interested in getting in each others pants than resolving the plot, and the author's attempts at comedy belong on gradeschool bathroom stalls. It drives me fucking insane.

User avatar
GorillaGamer
Posts: 216
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:44 pm
Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Tue Jan 29, 2019 2:02 am

@StabbyKobold: Seems that I’m not the only one who feels that this fic is Groundhog Day, but with card games. This upcoming chapter further adds fuel to this belief.

Well we’re back with another chapter of this thing, and all it does is solidify my belief that this was written by one of the former authors of the Devil’s Gambit. Oh boy, you will not believe how comically stupid this chapter is.


Welcome back everyone, to my amazing Yugioh fic. Today, you’ll get to learn the true extent of the Divine Powers’ power, by learning the identities of their strongest lieutenants, including the dreaded Matriarch. It’s going to be a blast and a half, so get buckled up for the ride of your life!

If this were an actual ride, I’d be demanding to get off around 15 chapters ago.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined, and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 21: The Matriarch

Pokémon Fangame Headquarters

The heroes had made it back to the formidable building, after half an hour of non-stop running, and burst into the lobby giving Roland a surprise as he was chilling there on his own.

“Oh look at that, I never knew you took up running Astolfo.” Roland quipped, a smile on his face.

*pants* “N-Now’s not the time to be making jokes! We’ve got trouble!” Astolfo panted, gasping for air as he slumped down onto a free seat.

Yes, that old man who got trounced in card games is bound to be serious trouble.

“Trouble, did something happen while you—“Roland began, but was startled upon seeing Clover and Light. “Can’t say I’ve seen you two around here before, who are you?”

“I-I’m Clover, and this is my brother, Light.” The young girl panted to catch her breath. “We have an important message to deliver to your leader.”

“R-Right, I’ll show you the way then. Follow me!” Roland called out to them as the group followed him to the meeting room. Upon arriving in the room, they took their seats with the newcomers being offered a glass of water to settle their nerves. “Alright then, feel free to begin when you’re ready.”

How nice of Ame to immediately get a meeting up and ready for the newcomers, almost as if that’s all she and her staff do all day.

“Right then; before I begin, I’d like to offer you my sincerest thanks for granting us the time of day to listen to our report.” Light thanked the fangame staff, who were touched by his courtesy.

“No need to thank us, in fact we should be thanking you for coming to us with vital information, risking your lives in the process.” Ame smiled back at the young gentleman. “Now what was it that you wanted to say to us?”

“We found out about Krishna’s latest plan to manipulate the morphogenetic field in order to mass-brainwash the populace, courtesy of his latest agent, Cradle Pharmaceutical CEO Gentarou Hongou.” Light informed the staff, who were genuinely surprised by what they heard.

Oh, that’s why Krishna wants the damned field, to brainwash everyday citizens. Surely there’s less convoluted plans that don’t require crooked executives with prosopagnosia.

“The morphogenetic field; who knows what chaos Krishna could cause by getting his dirty mitts on it.” Shiv muttered under his breath. “Such power isn’t meant to be abused.”

“F-forgive me for intruding, but what exactly is the morphogenetic field?” Cain inquired. “I’ve heard it several times today, but I still have no clue what exactly it is.”

“That’s the thing; there’s very little information about it, to the point where people question its existence. However, as someone who has had a personal experience with the field, then perhaps I can offer an answer of sorts.” Clover chimed in, as all the attention was drawn to her. “The morphogenetic field is an information storage of sorts that’s invisible to the naked eye, enabling humans to receive information that was stored there by other humans. I had to tap into it to save my brother from Hongou’s experiment.”

“Oh you poor thing, having been through so much in your short life.” Micaiah offered her condolences.

“Thanks…” Clover replied quietly. “But now’s not the time to dwell on the past, we’ve got to stop Krishna’s plan to seize control over the morphogenetic field!”

No need to rush; given his track record it’ll take another 50 years for him to do anything with it.

“Exactly, however we can’t launch a counterattack without sufficient intelligence. Luckily for us, our young scouts should be back from their investigation.” Ame commented, as the door to the meeting room opened shortly after she finished her statement. “And here they are, what perfect timing you two have.”

“Heehee, thanks Miss Ame! I’m more than happy to help you out anyway I can.” Anna chirped sweetly at her leader, smiling adorably at her. “Oooh, new strings. Could it be a result of the two newcomers that are with Cain, Adrienn and Astolfo?”

Because the smartest course of action in a war is to use young children as your scouts. I don’t care how adorable Anna is, that’s just begging for something to go wrong.

“That’s pretty obvious when you think about it for a bit.” Her older brother, Noel commented dryly. He was quite young, around twelve years old or so, and had messy black hair and shiny brown eyes. His outfit consists of a white button-up shirt and a pair of black trousers that were a few sizes too large for him. He held a Clefairy plush close to him, much like how Anna holds a Jirachi plush. “That being said, who are you two exactly?”

“I-I’m Clover, and this is my brother Light. It’s an honor to meet the two of you, and Ame herself!” Clover introduced herself and her brother eagerly, staring at her idols in awe. “I have to say I love your games; they’re some of the best that I’ve ever played in my life. They even helped me when I was at the lowest point in my life.”

Because what better way to cure a trauma-inducing experiment than Pokémon fangames?

“Nice to meet you Clover! My name’s Anna, and this is my older brother Noel.” Anna introduced herself and her brother.

“Nice to meet you as well.” Noel replied, before turning to Ame. “We overheard a conversation between a few followers that there’s this big meeting in that temple of theirs, where several high-ranking lieutenants are gonna meet this person known as the Matriarch. As we’re speaking, one of them is making a last minute check-up at a local pharmacy.”

“I see…and who exactly is this lone lieutenant?” Ame inquired.

“Some guy by the name of Hongou—at least I think that’s how you pronounce it.” Anna added.

“T-That’s Gentarou Hongou, the same maniac who attacked us earlier today!” Adrienn exclaimed. “A-Are you ok?!”

“Yeah, we’re fine. He didn’t spot us.” Noel answered quickly. “We could do another reconnaissance attempt, but I don’t think we’ll be able to successfully infiltrate their temple.”

“Perhaps I can offer a solution.” Micaiah chimed in, turning to face Sothe. “Sothe, my dear, do you have any problems completing a little mission for us?”

As long as it nets him some pussy, he’ll do anything for you.

“Sure Micaiah, I’d do anything to make your life easier.” Sothe agreed to the request. “You want me to neutralise the target?”

“Not yet; we need you to trail him to the temple at Tsukiji Kongangi and eavesdrop on the meeting, in order to discover the identity of this Matriarch.” Ame informed him. “Be warned; the temple houses the Divine Powers strongest agents. If you get discovered, it’s highly likely you won’t make it out alive.”

Don’t say that! You’ll only hasten his inevitable demise; you know how the cliché goes.

“I’m game, I’ve done this sort of thing several times before.” Sothe chuckled confidently, only for Micaiah to bring him closer and give him a deep kiss on the lips.

“Here’s a good luck kiss for tonight.” She wished him the best, attracting Astolfo’s attention.

“Oh, oh! Me next!” the pinkette chimed in, as he too kissed Sothe on the lips, startling the young man, though he didn’t mind it. “Ahhhhhhhh! There we go; two good luck kisses for the price of one.”

Stabby was right; these nymphos only care about sating their lust. Guess that’s how the author can relate to them.

“Quite right; if only Ike were here, he’d give you a third kiss.” Micaiah giggled, causing Sothe to start blushing fiercely as everyone started chuckling at his misfortune.

“I-I better get going!” Sothe blurted, bolting upright and proceeded to run out of the room.

“Oh my, it seems that he’s gonna relieve himself over this Ike fellow. Whoever he is, he must be quite the cutie~” Cain chuckled politely, covering his mouth with his hand. “So do you want to take that tour now, you two?”

“Yes! This is gonna be so great!” Clover cheered in excitement.

“I guess a quick tour wouldn’t hurt.” Light added.

“Splendid! Allow me to be your cute and cuddly tour guide, hot stuff!” Cain winked at Light, as the trio left the room, leaving the rest of them to discuss their next course of action.

“So, what will the sequel have to stand out from the crowd?”

“Card games of course!”


0000

Sothe was busy hiding in an alleyway near the pharmacy that was tipped off to him by Anna and Noel, as he waited patiently for Hongou to exit the building. The sun was starting to slip below the horizon, and it looked to be another cloudless night. Eventually, Sothe’s patience was rewarded when he spotted Hongou exiting the store and quickly looking to his side, before putting on his cloak and making his way to the temple. The young thief proceeded to follow the older man, ducking into alleyways to avoid detection. Unfortunately, it seemed that Hongou was taking the long way to the temple, perhaps in an attempt to tire out any would be stalkers following him. However after half an hour of tedious walking, Hongou had finally arrived at the bridge to the temple, which was guarded by a pair of demons, a Berserker and a Rakshasa. Sothe quietly slipped down to the area below, to the side of the bridge, where a convenient pathway of wooden poles and lose bricks provided him with an easy route to infiltrate the temple.

Gotta love that Assassins Creed style architecture.

The young man then proceeded to eavesdrop on the conversation between Hongou and the demons.

“You’re a few minutes late; care to explain yourself?” The Berserker demanded an answer.

“I took the long route here, as I had a gut feeling that I was being followed her by someone.” Hongou defended himself, raising his hand in a polite manner.

“Well it seems they’ve given up, since I don’t see anyone behind you.” The Rakshasa commented, having scoped out the area behind Hongou. “The meeting hasn’t started yet; I suggest you get a move on.”

So, he’s late for a meeting that hasn’t even started yet. How does that work?

“Thank you very much, I’ll be on my way then.” Hongou replied, with the demons nodding at him as the older man walked down the bridge at a rather quick pace, with Sothe taking the small path laid out before him, being extra careful so as to not fall in the water and give his position away. Hongou had made it past the temple gates, as they closed soon after he entered, causing Sothe to curse to himself in frustration.

“Shit! Now how do I get past the gate?” he muttered under his breath, before noticing a few ledges and windows that provided him with an easy way up the wall. The young thief started scrambling up the wall like a lizard, his hands tightening on the bricks to provide a solid way up the wall. After a few minutes of intensive climbing, he got up the wall and grinned to himself when he noticed an open window. Quietly crawling on the ground, he peered through the window to make sure the coast was clear, before going through it and leaping onto a nearby chandelier, which was more than capable of supporting his weight.

Sothe let out a quiet gasp in awe at what he saw; this temple was incredibly lavish, more so than even the Manial Cathedral back in Begnion. The walls were decorated with dozens of rare and expensive paintings, the carpet on the floor was a rich red, and there were several pot plants in the hallways.

Say what you will about them, the Divine Powers know how-to live-in style.

As expected, the area was teeming with followers and demons patrolling the area, however Sothe soon spotted his target talking to a strange man that he hasn’t seen before. He started to leap from ledge to ledge in order to follow his target, as the duo began conversing with each other.

“You sure took your sweet fucking time!” Dio scolded his associate, clenching his right fist with the index finger pointing upwards, while his left hand was cupping his right elbow.

“I took the long way here since I was being followed by some unknown stalker, though they seemed to have been frightened by the guards near the bridge.” Hongou explained.

Or they got bored stalking some old guy for a few bucks.

“Wha, you attracting fangirls all of a sudden? I didn’t know you still had it in you…” Dio smirked suggestively at Hongou, nudging him with his arm.

“Cut that out, I could have been killed.” Hongou knocked back Dio’s nudges, causing the ringmaster to scowl at his senior as the duo stopped at a large set of doors. “I take it that the meeting is in here.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Dio retorted, shrugging his arms as the former opened the door.

Well the author managed to capture Dio’s personality perfectly, so that’s one point I’ll give him. Too bad it doesn’t outweigh all the negative points he accumulated.

Sothe spotted a small opening into the ventilation system and crawled in it as the two men walked beyond the door, closing it behind them. The young thief scurried through the tight shaft, wondering where the hell he was going in the chaotic maze of steel. Eventually, he fell down a shaft and landed in a small passage way of sorts that was made up of stone, which had a peephole where the young thief can eavesdrop on the meeting. From a quick glance, he could see that there were several high-ranking people who were aligned with the Divine Powers.

Convenient peepholes, my favorite.

“Excellent, it seems that we’re all here.” Big Smoke clapped his hands together, indicating that the meeting had just begun. “While the Matriarch’s completing her journey to this sacred temple, I would like to know a bit more about you all, especially that fine-looking gentleman over there.”

“Oh my, I’m quite flattered to get a special mention. Anyway, you may know me as Maximillion Pegasus, the CEO of Industrial Illusions and the one who gifted you all such wonderful skills.” The previously mentioned man introduced himself, flicking his hair to show it off.

Well that explains the skills, they got the big man himself on their payroll. I wonder how Bandit Keith would’ve reacted to this sudden development.

“Your skills do jack shit; Lekain got his ass handed to him back in Tellius, even though he had one of your ‘amazing’ skills.” Tayama scoffed.

“That blithering old fuck played poorly against that young girl; seriously, who the fuck uses Arcana Force in this day and age?!” Dio retorted. “I’m more concerned about those fangame junkies over some senile old git who lost.”

“Ah yes, those developers do need to be punished, I’ve got to fill up my harem after all.” Tayama mused, as he began fantasising about his sick fantasies.

Look, I think we all know by now how much of a disgusting prick Tayama is. There’s no need to repeat this shit, but then again this is the Groundhog Day of fanfiction.

“Pffft harems, the most overrated fetish outside the furry fandom. The only reason I can fathom a person desiring one, is that they view women as nothing more than collectable trophies.” Yasuke Matsuda drawled, the young man heavily invested in his thick manga book.

Yo, Yasuke my man! How’s it going? Here’s hoping you don’t turn into some one-note refugee hater like in the last fic you starred in.

“Oh shut up you peasant! How dare you mock my fetish!” Tayama growled at the young man, who didn’t pay him any attention.

“Whatever; you’re not the boss of me. I only serve Lady Enoshima, and since she’s invested in the Divine Powers, I guess I’m fighting for you.” Yasuke admitted.

“Anyway, how would you all like to see my harem dream list? I’m sure you’ll be jealous of my superior taste.” Tayama grinned, as he took out his list and passed it out to everyone present, who all either gave him smirks of respect, or disinterested stares, at least until it landed in Dio’s hands.

Methinks he only has that list so that the author has a proxy to project his fantasies onto.

“Huh, a harem list. Let’s see who you’re chas—“ he began, before he spat out his drink and started sputtering in rage. “Serra?! That’s my wife you asshole! I even got her knocked up!”

What?! I would like to know what sort of moon logic you pulled out of your ass, Junpei, to come to the realization that Dio from Zero Escape: Virtues Last Reward is Serra’s ex-husband, and Bennett’s father. I’ve said this in an earlier chapter, but the only thing we know about the guy is that he left her for some reason, and I’m sure that’s all we’ll ever now about the guy. The only reason Dio has the dubious honor is so the author can get a thrill out of bashing him in a later chapter to finalize his wish-fulfillment relationship with his waifu.

“Woah, now that’s a fine piece of ass you tapped.” Caesar nodded in respect, the middle-aged man stretching his arms.

Great, now I’ll have to play a guessing game to determine which one it is. Is it the Fate one? The Assassins Creed one? The Fallout one? The real-life Caesar? The Ride to Hell Caesar? It’s the last one, isn’t it?

“Me, an asshole? How dare you insult me like that! Serra is my prize, and my prize only. I won’t allow some shrimp bastard to get his mitts on her, just because he claimed her virginity before I could.” Tayama growled at Dio.

Wow, how uninspired. Now we have a bitter rivalry on our hands over some fangame character the author loves, possibly from an old forum conversation he dug up.

“Your prize? Don’t make me laugh; I was the one who knocked her up in the first place.” Dio retorted.

“Well if you love her so much, then why did you leave her?” Tayama smirked, with Dio growling in response.

“Can the two of you shut up already?! I’m tired of this godforsaken bickering over some woman you’re lusting after!” Pegasus snapped, slamming his fist down on the table.

“Thank you, I was just about to do that.” Yasuke thanked the older gentleman,

Yes, let’s give a toast to Pegasus for shutting up the two nimwits.

before turning to face Caesar. “Now who exactly are you?”

“Ah yes, I am Caesar, the founder and almighty leader of the Devil’s Hand. We’re the meanest biker gang this side of America. Well asides from those upstanding gentlemen in the Lost MC, ain’t that right Johnny?”

Yep, it’s the fucking biker Caesar. Better hope he doesn’t set up an electric fence to annoy the protagonists. And the Lost MC from GTA get shoehorned into the fic as well, with all the finesse of a ham sandwich.

“Hahaha! The Lost MC is much better than those crack-fiends in the Angels of Death.” Johnny Klebitz chuckled. “You guys are alright as well; nice job dealing with that other gang, Retribution I think it was called.”

“Yep, that’s the one. Stupid bastard Toledo tried to cheat me out of my money, but I capped him and his girl. Of course, his sons attempted to get revenge on me, but I had my boys hack them into pieces and feed ‘em to the sharks.” Caesar replied.

Oh no, now we won’t get a scene where Jake screams pathetically in the air while waving his knife erratically.

“Give my regards to your boss for the recommendation; worked like a fuckin’ charm!”

“Yeah, Billy always has the best plans up his sleeves; I’d shake his hand, but that kissass Brian wouldn’t let me within three feet of him!” Johnny commented, as his eye’s soon spotted a teenage male with auburn hair and matching eyes gazing quietly at the group, with a deranged, sex-addicted grin plastered on his face. “Does anybody know who the fuck this asshole is?!”

Don’t ask me, I don’t know the names of every drug addict that lives in Tokyo.

“Don’t look at me, he came with Tayama if I recall.” Pegasus commented, looking at the older man for an answer.

“Well he ain’t one of my boys, that much I can tell you.” The crime lord answered, crossing his arms over his chest as Big Smoke directed his attention to the auburn-haired male.

“And what’s your name mister? We’re all friends in the Divine Powers.” Big Smoke inquired, as the male chuckled to himself.

“I am Yuuto Akimaya, former butler of the Ijuin House. Alas, I had my fun with the girls there, but I grew bored so I killed them.” The now named man grinned evilly.

Ok, who the fuck is this asshole?! I was able to cross reference all the other characters in this fic, but I found nothing surrounding this guy. Still, I refuse to believe he’s some random OC the author added in.

“Charmed…” Big Smoke deadpanned, as the short guy next to him shot him a dirty glare.

“Why’s this fool here in the first place? We oughta put a cap in this busta’s ass!” The short guy inquired, pointing his gun at Yuuto, the young man not even flinching.

“Ryder, now’s not the time for in-fighting. You know what it did to The Grove, and what happened afterwards.” Big Smoke reminded his long-time companion.

Yeah, the in-fighting that was cause by the two of you.

“Whatever yous say, Smoke.” Ryder replied, taking a nice long puff of his joint. “Anyone got the deets about our other agents?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Big Smoke answered, as he stood up and cleared his throat. “We were successful in recruiting the Knights of Hanoi to our cause, as both organisations had similar interests. Then there’s this cool cat who refers to himself as the Joker, who managed to convince several of Gotham’s most infamous criminals to cause chaos and anarchy under our banner. Then there’s the Britannian Imperial Family, who were so impressed by the speech I made to glorify the Divine Powers, that they agreed to join us immediately, and even had the courtesy to knight me.”

Oh boy, the first villain dump list of this chapter, and it only adds to the madness. Look, I can sort of understand why the Knights of Hanoi are in this fic, given all the card games presented so far, but the Joker?! Unless that comment in chapter five about Roland having a bigger dick than Batman was subtle foreshadowing, this reveal came right the fuck out of nowhere. Speaking of foreshadowing, is seems that comment Krishna made about the Code Geass artbook was enough to win over the Britannian Imperial Family to the point where they knighted Big Smoke.

“Sir Big Smoke; why it has a rather nice ring to it, don’t you say?” Pegasus commented.

“Eh, I’ve heard worse.” Yasuke admitted, flicking through his manga book. “Anybody else worth pointing out?”

“Well there’s several other lieutenants in our glorious organisation, such as the Bellic brothers, the Enclave, and several notable villains from the Ace Attorney game. Heck, we even managed to secure the future heir to the Grannvale Empire. I could list them all, but then we’d be here all day.” Big Smoke chuckled, as a soldier suddenly burst into the room.

Author, Niko and Roman are COUSINS, you incompetent twit!

“Sir! The Matriarch has arrived!” the soldier reported.

“She’s here?!” Big Smoke spluttered, as he started straightening his suit out. “Everyone, when the Matriarch comes in, we bow before her!” he ordered as everyone in the room got up and tidied themselves. A minute later, a young girl of around 10-13 years entered the room as everybody else bowed before her presence, as if she were a goddess.

In this universe, she probably is.

She had short brown hair, sparkling green eyes, and fair skin. Her outfit consisted of a simple white dress with short, puffy sleeves that had a dark green leather vest over her petite chest, a pair of brown leather boots, and a dark green hat that was puffy and had a feather sticking out of it.

“My Lady Tressa; let me state that it is an honor to be your right-hand man.” Big Smoke proudly declared.

Tressa? From Octopath Traveller? She’s the dreaded Matriarch?! Guess she must’ve bought the title off someone.

“That said, I would like to introduce you to our latest comrade; Cradle Pharmaceutical CEO Gentarou Hongou.”

“It is an honor to be able to meet you.” Hongou replied respectfully to his new superior.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. I already got to meet your associates” Tressa giggled, gesturing for the others that they can get up, as she sat down on the specially prepared throne for her. “Now then, I take it you were unsuccessful in your endeavour to acquire the two children.”

“Indeed, we were so close to capturing them, when we were ambushed by agents from that Fangame Community that has been rebelling against our noble cause.” Hongou explained his case, as the young girl mulled to herself.

“Those fangame junkies have been a real thorn in my side; I tried to convince them to change it so that they avoid any consequences, but they were too pigheaded, and kicked me out of the marketing team.” Tressa replied bitterly. “I tried to save them, but they refused. Oh well, now they get to suffer my wrath.”

So, Tressa worked on the fangames to begin with, but was fired for some reason. I guess that could explain why the traitors betrayed the Studio.

“The games aren’t even that hard.” Dio interjected. “That Chiaki lass was able to beat them without whiting out once; some difficulty spike.”

“To be fair, she IS the SHSL Gamer, so it’s not like she was gonna ever have a hard time.” Yasuke reminded the ringmaster. “That being said, you are right about how the difficulty isn’t as extreme as they make it out to be, especially since it relies so much on trial and error.”

“Eh, what do you mean by that?” Pegasus inquired.

“Basically, you’re meant to black out several times during the gym battles, and come up with counterstrategies to what the leaders are using. It’s a tedious process that only becomes more aggravating when you have to train up new Pokémon just for that one battle.” Yasuke answered.

*yawn* More tedious meta-commentary about the fangames. Next.

“Heheheh, I’ll be sure to punish them by adding them to my harem…” Tayama commented, as he started ogling Tressa and began drooling over her, fantasising about her being his personal sex slave, only to get smacked over the head by Dio.

At this stage, it’s borderline bashing with how often you depict Tayama as a pig.

“You better not be slobbering over my wife.” Dio hissed at the crime boss.

“Your ‘wife’ will be mine, and mine alone!” Tayama declared dangerously, growling at the younger man.

“Hey fuck you! How’d you feel if I talked about fucking your wife?” Dio questioned Tayama, who chuckled in response.

Hey assholes! Didn’t Pegasus tell you to shut the fuck up about Serra?!

“Hah! You call that a threat?! I don’t have a wife.” Tayama sneered, only for Dio to chuckle at him in response.

“I guess that proves it; you’re a virgin.” Dio retorted, causing Tayama to glare dangerously at him.

“A virgin?! I’ll have you know that I was bedding women while you were in your dad’s balls!” Tayama snarled at the ringmaster.

“Sure you did; based on that wrinkly old face of yours, and your Tic-Tac penis, I’m amazed that you even qualify as a man.” Dio joked.

Do I even ask how he knows such things?

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, you brat!” Tayama roared, as he lunged at the man and started a scuffle with him.

“Oh, not good!” Hongou commented, as he, Pegasus and Ryder tried to separate the brawling combatants.

“Unhand me you swine! I’ll kill that goddamn brat with my bare hands!” Tayama hissed at the middle-aged man. The two men continued snarling at each other like rabid dogs, unaware of the growing expression of annoyance on Tressa’s face. Eventually she had it her limit and slammed her fist on the table, frightening everyone in the room, including Sothe, who was grateful that she couldn’t see him. The startled agents quickly got back into their seats, as Tressa calmed down from the outburst.

She slammed a fist on the table, how frightening.

“Thank you, now may we continue with the conversation?” The young girl inquired.

“Yes, yes. That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Caesar replied, as he brought out a list from his jacket. “We have come up with several potential plans to usher in Lord Krishna’s salvation; would you like to hear about them?”

“That’ll be appreciated.” Tressa smiled sweetly at the experienced biker, while Sothe was grinning to himself from behind the wall. He had hit the paydirt! All he needed to do was turn on his recorder, and let the intel roll in.

“I’ll let Big Smoke read the first plan, since he’s your trusted assistant.” Caesar handed the paper over to Big Smoke, who thanked the man in return.

“Now then, the first plan we came up with is to have Johnny and his gang commit a crime spree like no one has seen before. Drug dealing, underground car deals, heists, you name it, they’ll do it.” Big Smoke proudly declared. “All in the name of Lord Krishna.”

Because when I deal drugs, I do it in the name of my respective deity.

“No need to worry about rival gangs my lady; Lost MC wiped out our greatest enemies in Los Santos; we’ve got free reign over the city!” Johnny grinned, crossing his arms.

“Hmmmmm…I don’t think drug dealing would look good on our resume. I like the car idea though; we can charge high prices for luxurious sports cars, and super cars. I might even pinch one or two for my personal use.” Tressa mused. “Next idea please!”

It was Pegasus’ turn to read an idea down the list. “Oh…this is interesting. Creating our own Pokémon fangame that praises the Divine Powers, while condemning the other fangames. How ingenious.”

Huh, you think they could be trying to remake Tri-Master, so the author can tear it down and shit on it? Might be interesting, not gonna lie.

“Woah, wez be makin’ our own shit?! Luckily you have the magnificent genius that is Lance “Ryder” Wilson!” Ryder bragged in a confident manner, with Big Smoke chuckling heartily at his comrade’s grandeur.

“Now that’s the attitude that’s gonna get us far in life!” The heavyset man grinned, turning to his leader. “What’d ya think of the idea, my lady?”

“I get the idea, but I don’t think Krishna would allow it; besides, what happens if those players end up supporting the Fangame Community? We’d end up playing ourselves.” Tressa commented. “Next idea please.”

“I believe it’s my turn to read.” Hongou commented, taking the list from Pegasus. “Oh…this is interesting; utilising the power of the Kamihime to connect our universe to theirs, and move all those loyal to us in exchange for the humans that live in the Kamihime universe. To paraphrase the immortal quote from Junpei; what the hell is a Kamihime?!”

How nice of Hongou to paraphrase a quote from the author himself. That said, are you fucking serious author?! Why the hell would a cabal of ancient deities need the assistance of a group of women with godlike powers, solely created for the player inserts to fuck?

“Apparently it’s the term given to a female that is the reincarnation of a deity/figure in mythology and has been blessed with said figure’s power. They’re a fickle bunch; only obeying their master, should they wield the Kamihime’s special relic, which usually comes in the form of a weapon.” Caesar explained. “It should be noted that depending on the strength of the Kamihime, they’re equal in strength to around 1,000-10,000 fully-trained soldiers.”

“How exactly do you know about Kamihime; does the Devil’s Hand utilise their power to gain an edge over the competition?” Hongou pressed further, genuinely interested, as Caesar let out a hearty chuckle.

“I wish; I’d end up losing all my soldiers because the horny sons-of-bitches would force themselves upon the Kamihime, which is a very big no-no.” Caesar replied, as he turned to his master. “Any thoughts?”

“I doubt Krishna would want to invade some inferior universe, as he would put it.” Tressa replied. “Next idea!”

Well that avoids a potential conflict between Krishna and his Kamihime counterpart. What a wasted opportunity.

“Alright then, I’ll speak next.” Tayama called out, taking the sheet from Hongou as he cleared his throat. “Ah, it’s my idea. I bet you’ll love this; we shall travel back in time to before the fangames were made, and assassinate Ame.”

“Pffft, that’s the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard. Just where the fuck do you expect us to find the parts to a time machine?” Dio replied sarcastically.

“Bite your tongue, you little shit!” Tayama hissed at the ringmaster. “If you think you’re so smart, then why don’t you read out your plan?!”

“Alright then Oldielocks, I will!” Dio snatched the list from the older man, who growled in response. “Ok then, how about we assemble an army of Neo Monsters and stage a revolution in several countries.”

I’d call this a one-note reference but considering the fact that the author has written a crossover-fic between that game and Pokémon Rejuvenation, there might be something to this plan.

“And what the heck’s a Neo Monster?” Johnny inquired, surprising Dio since he didn’t have the answer himself.

“Well…errr, it’s a monster that’s a Neo…and errr…it is as strong as one of those Kami-thingies that Caesar brought up, and errr…” Dio stammered out, the ring master looking like a fool as sweat poured down his face.

“Ha! You don’t even know what they are, don’t you? Some plan you’ve got there!” Tayama smirked smugly at the befuddled man.

“Hey fuck you!” Dio snapped, clenching his right fist with the index finger pointing upwards, while his left hand was cupping his right elbow. “At least my plan is more plausible than your Back to the Future bullshit!”

“Well at least I knew what the fuck I was talking about, unlike some smarmy-ass punk who thinks he’s entitled to my prize.” Tayama retorted.

Holy fucking shit; is this all the chapter is made up of, pointless arguing and shoehorned introductions?!

“SHE. IS. MY. WIFE!” Dio roared, slamming his fist on the table. “How many times do I have to tell you; stay the fuck away from her!”

“Why you—“ Tayama began, before another loud slam frightened the two men.

“Both of you, shut the fuck up!” Tressa snapped, surprising the others by swearing. “Both plans are completely nonsensical; the technology for time travel doesn’t exist, and probably won’t for at least a millennium, and while the Neo Monsters plan has some merit, I am not looking forward to draining my wallet for a shit ton of gems, only to end up getting garbage from the eggs that I purchased! Please, can somebody read the next idea?”

“Alright then.” Yasuke volunteered, as Dio handed him the list. “Huh, seems like it’s the last plan we’ve got. How about we peddle porn of the Pokémon Fangame characters—Oh come on! This is that stupid shit those Metal Slug girls are trying to do!” The young man scowled at the list, scrunching it up into a ball and throwing it into the bin.

Well this whole plan exposition was a whole load of nothing. Except for the one about making a fangame, that one has me morbidly curious.

“Well that was a whole bunch of nothing!” Dio commented sarcastically, shrugging his arms. “What do we do now?”

“Take care of a noisy little rat…” Tressa commented, as she gestured for Big Smoke to give her, her trusty crossbow.

“Noisy little rat?” The agents all called out, as Tressa took aim, and fired at the little hole in the wall where Sothe was hiding. The young thief flinched and ducked out of the way, as the arrow flew through the air and knocked down several bricks, exposing the young man to the lieutenants.

Don’t ask me why she kept Sothe’s presence a secret until now, I have no idea.

“Uh, hi there…” Sothe chuckled nervously, as Tressa and the lieutenants glared at him.

“Well boys, time to kill that disgusting rat!” Tressa ordered, as the agents grabbed their weapons and lunged at the young man, who quickly scrambled up the shaft and crawled through the ventilation system once more.

“Damn you! I’ll make you pay for upsetting the great Matriarch.” Big Smoke declared, whipping out his AK-47 as he charged out of the room to look for the intruder. The heavyset man wondered down the halls, his eyes scanning the area around him as if he were a cyborg, only to be surprised when Sothe burst out of the open vent and made a beeline for the exit. “Oh not you don’t!” Big Smoke declared, aiming his assault rifle and began firing at the thief. Luckily Sothe was able to dodge the incoming bullets and exited the massive temple, before diving into the river and started swimming to safety. Big Smoke wasn’t able to get a clear shot of the thief anymore, and could only watch as the intruder was getting away.

Well it’s not like the battle against Big Smoke was that difficult, so I can somewhat tolerate his failure to kill the easy target.

“Shit!” he cried out in frustration, throwing a stone into the river as the other lieutenants arrived at the scene. “Now what do we do?”

“We may as well go over the ideas we brought up earlier, and see which one Lady Tressa likes the most.” Hongou suggested.

She dismissed them all as trash, what else is there to discuss?

“Alright then, everyone back to the meeting room!” Big Smoke ordered, as the lieutenants followed him back inside.

Talk about a thrilling chapter! Now you’ve got a clear idea on just how powerful Krishna and his forces are, based on his choice of allies. As for the list, the villains will get added as they’re introduced into the story. Anyway, the next chapter will have a surprise crossover, and will be the perfect time to go in-depth about the power that Tressa wields.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what terrifying power the smol merchant girl has. Jokes aside, this chapter was fucking stupid; between the pointless introductions, the waste of time that was the ‘plan discussion’ and the fact that it reeks of a filler chapter, this was not worth the bandwidth it wasted. The only good thing to come from the chapter was that Anna got a bit more screen time, which she deserves since she’s adorable.

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin stolen)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Noel
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Gaston
Clover
Light

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Tressa/The Matriarch
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
Big Smoke
Ryder
Johnny Klebitz
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Yasuke Matsuda
Yuuto Akimaya

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake
Cal
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius
Redi
Sam
Elia
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Wed Feb 06, 2019 1:02 am

When we last left off, a whole bunch of villains allowed themselves to be ordered around by a smol merchant girl to rid the world of Pokemon fangames. Oh, and there was something about two assholes fighting over Serra, but I couldn’t give a shit at this point. That being said, I am dreading this chapter because oh boy, it introduces a franchise I’m somewhat familiar with; Akame ga Kill! The last time I mocked a fic featuring said franchise, I was treated to the self-insert getting sodomised against his will by Esdeath, if the same shit happens here, I am done with this fic for good.

One more thing, I took the time to search up that Yuuto asshole from the last chapter; turns out he’s the male lead of some 2-part hentai OVA called Vampire. From what I gathered on the series, it’s one of those shitty hentais that reuse frames and clips to cut costs. Don’t ask my why the author used that show of all things for his inspiration. But enough of my rambling, time to mock this shit for what it tries to do.


Welcome back to the next instalment of Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy. This chapter is gonna be packed full of content, more so than usual as a sort of apology for putting my Rejuvenation fic on hiatus while I’m waiting for the next episode to come out so I can see all the changes that it ushers in. Anyway, the surprise crossover will involve Akame ga Kill!, though not in the way you’d expect it to, as well as another surprise that I’ll keep secret about for now.

Oh goodie, another surprise. Which unrelated franchise gets dumped into this chapter as well?

Anyway, let’s get it started in her with Chapter 22!

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined, and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 22: Kill the General!

Pokémon Fangame Headquarters

Sothe had somehow managed to make it back to base following his escape from Tsukiji Kongangi, the young man exhausted from the gruelling trip as he slumped down on an empty seat.

“Welcome back, Sothe.” Ame greeted him politely, as she had gotten herself a cup of tea ready. “Did you learn anything interesting?”

“Well for one thing, I learnt that the Divine Powers have no standards when it comes to recruiting mooks.”

“Yes, in fact I believe I hit the pay dirt, big time.” Sothe began, with everyone in the room interested in what he has to say.

“Oh-hoooooo, I guess my good luck kiss came in handy after all…” Astolfo purred, looking at him lovingly.

“I’m pretty sure it was mine that did the trick.” Micaiah giggled in response to Astolfo’s statement.

Raise your hand; who actually cares about which kiss saved his ass?

“So tell us Sothe, what did you learn today?”

“Well I learnt the identity of that Matriarch that Anna and Noel mentioned earlier today; any of you familiar with a young lady named Tressa?” Sothe began, as surprised expressions appeared on everyone’s faces.

“Tressa?! Did she have short brown hair, brown eyes, and wore a white dress with a leather vest over it?” Melia began describing the young girl, hoping it wasn’t who she thinks it is. However the grim expression on Sothe’s face told her all she needed to know. “M-My goodness…this can’t be happening!”

I don’t want to believe it as well, but we all can’t live in some fantasy land, now can we?

“Hmmm? You know her or something?” Sothe inquired.

“That girl you encountered there, Tressa Colzione, was our original Marketing Director in charge of advertising our games. However a while ago she expressed her dislike over certain aspects of our games, claiming that they could alienate potential buyers, since she was seeking to win over the fans of Nintendo’s games. A meeting was called involving me, Melia, Shiv, Nora, Garret, and Tressa in order to find an agreeable compromise. However it ended up de-escalating rather quickly, leaving us no choice but to revoke Tressa’s position. Suffice to say she did not take it that well; she stormed out of the office that day, but not before swearing vengeance on us all for our stupidity, as she aptly put it.” Ame recalled the story, sighing sadly to herself. “Not a day goes by where I wonder if I was a bit too harsh on her.”

Let me get this straight; Tressa was a former member of Reborn Studios or whatever it’s called and got fired over a disagreement involving how to handle certain features in the game, leading her down a path of darkness. Christ, even by villain backstory standards, this is fucking dumb.

“It wasn’t your fault; she wanted to take away what made your games unique, in favour of pandering to the masses, all so that she could profit off of your hard work.” Astolfo commented dryly, already viewing the young girl with contempt.

Well fuck her for tyring to make the game more profitable for everyone invol—hold on, I thought they weren’t trying to make money off the game. Are they, or are they not trying to sell their game for money?!

“N-Now hold on their Astolfo; perhaps she was just trying to help Ame and Co. sell more copies in her own way.” Chevalier tried to defend her train of thought.

“Yeah, by turning their games into the generic shit that Nintendo shits out every year.” Astolfo retorted, crossing his arms in disgust. “Look, I know that you don’t want to automatically assume that this Tressa lady is evil, but the evidence points to her being a manipulative mastermind.”

This proves it, you are not a fan of Pokémon, or at least the official games. The author is one of those people, who are so obsessed with their fangames, that they shit on every other game for being different. This petty motherfucker is so enamoured by his waifus that I bet he hasn’t even played an official Pokémon game in over five years.

Oh, and I really want to know how suggesting improvements for your product turns someone into a manipulative mastermind.


“Excuse me, but what exactly was this compromise that you were trying to achieve?” Micaiah asked the fangame staff, intrigued by this juicy drama.

“Ah, now that I can help you with!” Garret grinned, relaxing back on his chair. “Essentially, we suggested a difficulty option for the games, kinda like what Rejuvenation has. Initially, Tressa was on board with it, but got upset when Nora suggested locking some hidden backstory for the characters in the harder difficulties. Then there was the whole kerfuffle with the story, with Tressa suggesting that there be an option at the beginning of the game for a lighter story, which was something the rest of us were opposed to.

Yet when Insurgence inserted the feature in the game, not a single one of you fuckers protested. Guess we can add hypocrisy to our heroes’ traits.

And don’t get me started on the merchandise; my god did Tressa have so many ideas for additional revenue. But what really set Ame off was the prospect of DLC; something that she dislikes vehemently. Tressa suggested that paid DLC involving the backstories of various characters gets produced, which ended up becoming an argument that lead to her losing her job.”

To be fair, paid DLC for a Pokémon game is a moronic idea, but nothing worth firing someone over.

“Well you can’t exactly fault her for attempting to generate revenue for your efforts.” Sothe conceded, shrugging his arms as he place the recorder on the table. “Anyway, I also learnt about several plans that they were planning on enacting, but from the sounds of it, all of them were rejected by Tressa.”

“Huh, sounds like we’ve got the upper hand in the event that they do go for these plans.” Roland mused, eyeing up the recorder as the door to the room burst open, with Anna and Noel rushing into the meeting room.

“Yay, you’re back Sothe!” Anna cheered, hopping up into an empty seat and eagerly eyed him up. “Did you learn anything cool?”

“Well if by cool you meant that Tressa’s the Matriarch, than yes, I did learn something cool today.” Sothe answered, as the joyous expression on Anna’s face sunk like a rock.

“Oh no…s-she was my friend before she got fired.” Anna replied sadly. “Why would she join them…?”

Probably to push her DLC idea onto whatever game Krishna’s trying to make.

“Most likely to get revenge on us for firing her.” Noel deduced, having joined up with everybody else at the table.

“A clever guess, and most likely the correct answer.” The voice of an educated man called out, as the door opened once more and two people entered the room, one of them being Reborn’s Beauty Queen herself, Serra.

It was only a matter of time before the author brings his waifu back into the mix.

The other person was a charming, well-dressed middle-aged man with short, shiny black hair and matching color eyes. His outfit was an extravagant black and fuchsia three-piece suit that was topped off with a fuchsia-colored top hat. The man also hat what appeared to be a cane with a metal Pokeball for a head. This upstanding gentleman was Radomus Vanhanen; one of the wealthiest citizens of Reborn, the Psychic type Gym leader, and the World Chess Champion.

“Daddy!” Anna and Noel called out to him, as they ran up to him and hugged him tightly.

Great, one of the biggest reveals of Episode 18, and one of the few genuinely touching moments of the game has now been showcased with the same flair as a ham sandwich. A swing and a miss, Junpei. A swing and a fucking miss.

“And how are my special little angels today?” Radomus inquired, returning the hug as a few of Astolfo’s friends were confused by what they’re seeing.

“Uh, who is he?” Blair whispered to the group, with Serra noticing their confused expressions.

You played the damn game and is dating a guy who helped set up a rally involving said game. How the fuck can you not know who he is?!

“Oh, that’s Radomus; the Psychic type Leader of Reborn. He and I go way back—“ Serra began to answer them.

“Way back?” Roland repeated, as he soon pieced together what she was saying and glared daggers of hate at the gentleman. “So you must be the dirtbag who ditched Serra while she was pregnant. You good for noth—“ he began to vent, only for Radomus to raise his hand in the air.

That’s it author, unleash all your bashing energy on the guy who has a CHANCE of dating your waifu. It totally doesn’t make you look like a possessive creep at all.

“Ah, you must that fine young man Serra told me about. Neither of us dated each other in the past; my apologies for the confusion.” Radomus explained the situation, which seemed to have calmed Roland down.

“O-Oh—sorry about that…” Roland apologised, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I just want to give that no good dirtbag a piece of my mind.”

Weak.

“Seems that I’m not the only one then.” Serra replied with a giggle.

“Well the both of you are gonna like this next part, because I overheard one of the lieutenants proclaiming Serra to be his wife, bragging about how he got her knocked up, as he chose to put it.” Sothe informed them.

“Heheheh, I guess I don’t have to hold back anymore…” Roland chuckled ominously, cracking his knuckles. “By the way, have any of you had a negative encounter with Tressa while she was working here?”

Negative encounter? What, do you find being offered amazing deals a negative encounter?

“Tressa? Oh no, she was quite the sweetheart. Sure she had a thing for money, but name me somebody that doesn’t. It’s such a shame that it had to end up like this, but then again things tend to go haywire during crunch time.” Serra smiled, recalling the pleasant memories.

“She was quite intelligent for someone her age, and had the ‘Merchant’s Gift’ as it’s often called. Adding to the fact that she was quite the people person, and you’ve got someone who’ll go far in life.” Radomus complimented her, as a dark look appeared on Astolfo’s face.

“A-Are you seriously complimenting the enemy?!” the pinkette exclaimed incredulously.

Eh, it happens all the time. you’ll get used to it.

“Her allegiance doesn’t change the fact that she’s a smart girl.” Radomus replied.

“I call bullshit on that! She’s tried to destroy your hard work since the very beginning, and is working for an organisation that wants to kill you all! The fact that you aren’t condemning her is rather surprising, and alarming. I don’t care how old she is, I’d throttle her for trying to ruin your life!” Astolfo ranted, slamming his fist on the table.

“This young girl hates Pokémon Reborn; I ought to strangle her for her crimes.”

Are you trying to make your protagonist look like a petulant brat? Because you’re doing a damn good job at it.


“Now hold on there, there’s no need to get worked up over—“Roland began, only for Astolfo to push his chair to the ground.

“No need, no fucking need?! This is all part of her masterplan, and here you are talking about her as if she were still here with us!” Astolfo snapped at his cousin.

Dude, please get laid. Or eat a Snickers. Anything to get you to stop throwing a hissy-fit.

“A-Astolfo, why don’t you take a quick walk outside to cool down?” Ame suggested.

“Very well…” the pinkette huffed, storming out of the room and into the lobby, before opening it and exiting the building, as the others looked at each other, wondering what had set the young man off.

Meanwhile…

The thick forest formed an oppressive cage for anyone who had the misfortune of wondering inside its dark underbelly. However, there was a reason for why the two travellers were walking through the forest; revenge. However the younger of the two was a bit busy eying off all the local wildlife that was residing in the forest.

“Hey, look at that sis!” the younger of the two pointed at a pair of deer as they were grazing peacefully by themselves, while the girl snacked on a bag of sweet biscuits. The younger girl had short, wavy black hair, shiny black eyes and was fairly lean. Her outfit consisted of a black serafuku, with a pair of black stockings that went up her slender legs, and a pair of shiny black loafers. This was Kurome, a young but talented assassin who had all her teammates slaughtered by the Divine Powers.

And the crossover begins…Here’s hoping that things don’t spiral into insanity so soon.

“I see…” Was all Kurome’s sister said, since she was busy focusing on the mission. She had long, shiny black hair, bright red eyes and a fairly curvy figure. Her outfit was a lot like her sister’s, only she isn’t wearing any leggings. This was Akame, the sole surviving member of the group of assassins known as Night Raid, who were slaughtered by the Divine Powers as well. All of a sudden, both of the deer got spooked by something they saw and quickly bolted from the area.

So it’s just the two sisters so far? Meh, I can live with it.

“Awwww, why’d they have to leave?” Kurome complained, pouting in an adorable manner. “I wanted to play with them…”

“If you wanna play that badly, then I’ll be happy to oblige you…” an ominous voice called out from the distance, with Akame unsheathing her katana, Murasame, in the blink of an eye, pointing the tip at an empty clearing, as several hooded figures emerged from the bushes and surrounded them. Kurome then realised the magnitude of the situation and unsheathed her own katana, Yatsufusa, as well, pointing it at the foes alongside her sister. “Oh…? No badass quote to brag about your skills?” one of the figures sneered at the girls.

And we’re back to faceless mooks to get herded into the slaughterhouse. How wonderfully generic.

“Actions speak louder than words…” Akame quipped, as the figures chortled to themselves.

“What a riot; you’ll fit in quite nicely with us.” The leader commented, as a devious plan formed in his mind. “Say ladies, how would you like to attain salvation? All you have to do is join our noble cause.”

“Join you, after you slaughtered our friends in cold blood?!” Kurome snapped at the hooded figure. “I’d rather choke on my own bile than side with you!” This didn’t sit well with the hooded figures.

“Fucking excuse me?!” The leader snarled angrily at them, as the figures stepped closer towards the two girls. “If you won’t join us, than you can serve us in other matters…”

And they’re rapists as well. This just keeps getting better and better.

“Hmph, I didn’t want to get my shirt dirty today, but it looks like I don’t have a choice.” Kurome stated, as she and Akame got into fighting stances, waiting for the enemy to make the first move. And on cue, the hooded figures bumrushed them in a sloppy attempt to overpower the young ladies. But as expected, the girls were able to dodge the attack effortlessly and sliced the incoming thugs into pieces of meat and bone. A few thugs brought out their own swords and attempted to fight back against the duo. Kurome managed to intercept an incoming attack and sliced the thug’s hand off, causing him to bellow in pain, before he was silenced instantly by a cut to the throat. Meanwhile, Akame had dodged an incoming slash from another hooded figure, before she attempted to strike back at the thug, who noticed and jumped back a few feet, only being inflicted a small cut on his thigh.

‘Villains act incompetently while getting slaughtered by the heroes.’

Just another day in this madhouse of a fic.


“Ha! You missed me!” the thug laughed at Akame, who had a small smirk appear on her face. The thug was confused as to why she was smirking, when he suddenly slumped dead a few seconds later.

In case you’re wondering why the thug died like a glitched out video game character, the author forgot to explain the special perk of Akame’s sword, mainly that the blades coated in a deadly toxin, rendering even the tiniest of cuts lethal. Sloppy writing like this makes me wonder why the author is focusing all his energy on the Rejuvenation fic.

Another thug tried to ambush Akame from behind, only for the young lady to turn around in a flash and impale the thug on her sword, the man gurgling blood as he slid off the blade and collapsed into a pile on the ground.

“Hey, save some for me!” Kurome protested, as she slashed an enemy thug into pieces, the bloody chunks rolling on the ground. It was then that the thugs started questioning if they could really defeat the two girls, which angered the head thug.

“Come on now, are you really gonna cower on the cusp of our salvation?!” the hooded figure hissed at them. “Destroy these rogue agents who support the fangames!”

“Y-yes sir!” The thugs replied, as they locked eyes with their foe and charged at them once more. One of the thugs managed to punch Kurome’s stomach, only to roar in pain and agony as his arm was broken in several places, while the young woman wasn’t fazed by the punch.

For a punch to injure the user to the point of breaking their arm, while barely inflicting even as much as a bruise on a dainty woman like Kurome, that must make this faceless thug incredibly weak.

“Pathetic…” Akame commented in regards to the thug’s weakness, angering him as he lunged at her and punched her with his other arm, only for it too to break in several places, causing the thug to roar in pain and agony once more. “Allow me to finish the job…”

Before the thug could even so much as protest, his head was sliced off in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Kurome was dodging a few spears that were being thrown by the enemy, as she ran towards the assailants and cut them down in an instant, leaving only the head thug left standing.

“D-Demons, the both of you!” he spluttered in fear, as he brought out a pistol and pointed it at them, catching them by surprise. However before he could fire it, a sword plunged into him from behind, but it wasn’t one of the girls who did it. As the hooded figure took his last breath and slumped dead onto the ground, a figure stood over him and stared at his dead body, and was revealed to be Astolfo.

Thanks for the save, I guess. How long do you think it will take before the three of them start digging into each other’s pants?

“Well that’s one bit of nasty business taken care of.” He commented to himself, before noticing the two mysterious women. “Oh I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself; I’m Astolfo, and that was some fancy moves you two had.”

“Thanks, I’m Kurome, and this quiet little lady is my older sis, Akame.” She introduced herself and her sister.

“Charmed.” Akame replied, as she shook hands with the pinkette.

“I take it that you aren’t allied with those curs in the Divine Powers.” Astolfo assumed gazing at them intently, and based on their grim expressions, he was right on the money.

“Absolutely not! Those bastards killed my teammates!” Akame commented darkly. “The same thing happened to my sister, which is why we’re working together to assassinate their high command.” It was then that Astolfo connected the pieces, and had a stunning revelation.”

“Kurome, you fought for that Esdeath lady, right?” he inquired, with the young lady nodding in response. “Maybe she can help—“

“Nope, she got killed as well.” Kurome cut him off, greatly surprising the pinkette.

Same here; you’d think Krishna would try to win her over as opposed to icing her. Guess he isn’t much of a breast connoisseur.

“H-Huh?! But isn’t she like super powerful or something?!” Astolfo spluttered.

“Yeah, which made her defeat even more shocking to us.” Kurome replied, turning to her sister. “Hey sis, why not tell him what happened back then.”

“As you wish.” Akame began, with the trio sitting down on a nearby log. “Both my and Kurome’s groups, Night Raid and the Jaegers respectively had temporarily joined forces to deal with an invasion courtesy of the Divine Powers, which was led by someone known as the Matriarch.”

“T-That’s Tressa!” Astolfo gasped, having recognised the moniker. “She’s a real bad egg from what I’ve heard.”

“I see, you have heard of her before. Anyway, both our factions confronted her with our full strength, as she stepped out of the crowd to fight us on her own. We outnumbered her 17-to-1, and were armed with the strongest Imperial Teigu that were available at the time. In fact, Esdeath was said to be one of the strongest fighters in recorded history. Victory was virtually in our grasp.” Akame began, before her mood became more serious. “We lost in a spectacular manner. This Tressa slaughtered us effortlessly, as if she was blindfolded and had her hands tied behind her back. When the bloodbath was over, sis and I were the only survivors.”

My lungs are in pain from all the laughing I’m doing. You mean to tell me that Tressa, TRESSA, of all characters was able to slaughter 15 battle capable warriors, equipped with powerful relics, on her own. If she really is that strong, then why the hell isn’t she a Godslayer, she could theoretically slaughter Lucifer and Merkabah with a fucking sneeze!

“O-Oh my…I’m sorry for your losses.” Astolfo offered his condolences.

“Thanks.” Kurome replied. “Which is why we’re working together to bring down the Divine Powers. Wanna join us?”

“Hell yeah!” Astolfo cheered. “In fact, I’m assisting the Pokémon Fangame Community in the war against the Divine Powers. We’re more than happy to have powerful allies assisting us.”

“Ah, the fangame community.” Akame commented. “I’ve heard plenty of good things about them and their games.”

Ah, but of course. The sisters only got to live because they played Pokémon Reborn, granting them a 24-hour shield.

“Yeah, Pokémon fangames are some of the best games ever made.” Astolfo smiled, scratching the back of his head. “So what’s the mission today?”

“The both of us have learnt that a Divine Powers general who was with Tressa on that faithful day is hiding out in a large cabin nearby. He goes by the name of Wolfgang Statz, and is quite the mean customer, however it is our duty to assassinate him.” Akame informed the pinkette, showing him a picture of a middle-aged man with greying-brown hair, matching brown eyes and a brown beard and moustache. His outfit was a white Nazi general’s outfit, but with all the Nazi symbols replaced with Divine Powers symbols.

It’s bad enough that you stole a Wolfenstein character to have your heroes compare the Divine Powers to the Nazis, but you had to settle for a minor villain from the game made by Activison, one of the more controversial games in the franchise. The sad part is that you could’ve had a chance to have Hitler himself act as a villain in order to make your side look better, yet you blew your load over Adrienn’s ass prematurely.

“Woah, he looks really mean.” Astolfo commented, shivering to himself.

“That may be so, but taking him out should deal a severe blow to Krishna’s ambitions.” Kurome replied, as she and her sister got up off the log. “Come on then, this’ll be fun!”

“Heehee, I can’t wait!” Astolfo giggled politely, as Akame and Kurome ran off to the west, with Astolfo following them in hot pursuit.

20 minutes later.

The trio had arrived at the sizable cabin, which was situated on a hill. The cabin was around two to three stories tall, and had an impressive balcony which overlooked the area. As quietly as they could, they climbed up the wooden beams that held up the balcony and managed to reach the balcony within a few minutes. They sighed a breath of relief upon seeing that the door was slightly ajar and crept inside the spacious cabin, only to quickly duck inside a large wooden chest upon seeing a trio of shadows heading towards the room.

How awfully convenient for there to be an empty chest lying about the place, that’s big enough to house all three would be spies to boot.

“Gentleman, I thank you all for coming here with me to discuss a few things with me.” General Wolfgang expressed his thanks to his guests.

“Indeed, this situation involving those lowly fangame addicts have devolved into a bigger nuisance than I anticipated.” The first guest commented. He was a rather fat man in his mid-50’s and had short black hair, brown eyes and a thick black moustache. His outfit was a corduroy Japanese admiral’s uniform that was adorned with lots of medals and patches, indicating that he was a most talented commander. This was Admiral Greyfield, a well-respected yet ruthless naval admiral who defected to the Divine Powers in his never-ending quest for power. “Such riff-raff has no place in my ideal future.”

Never mind the sudden appearance of an Advance Wars villain into the fic, what I want to know is why he would allow the fangame studio to become a bigger threat to them.

“As the future president of America, I will do anything to usher in a world of peace, where the idea of using war as a means of profit no longer exists.” The second guest chimed in. He was a tall, muscular man with slick black hair that had a few streaks of grey in it, grey eyes which had glasses over them and a clean-shaven face. His outfit was a black, five-piece suit with matching black dress shoes. This was US Senator Steven Armstrong, an ambitious man who saw great potential in allying with the Divine Powers.

And we get a Metal Gear villain thrown into the mix as well. What gets me is that neither of these stooges were present at the meeting last chapter, nor were they mentioned at all in Big Smokes exposition dump!

“Honestly, I feel that there are greater problems out there than the fangames, namely the forces of Merkabah and Lucifer. It wouldn’t surprise me if both sides form a temporary truce to declare war on us. In fact one of the reasons why we’ve been seeing so much success is because both sides are too busy fighting each other to deal with us.” Wolfgang admitted, scratching his chin.

“That may be, but it’s still our duty to eliminate the fangame scum before they become an even bigger issue than the angels and demons.” Greyfield replied, polishing one of his medals. “I didn’t earn this for lazing around while my enemy grew stronger.”

Pray tell, how will the fangames become a bigger threat that the angels and demons, two factions consisting of powerful deities/figures in folklore?

“Unfortunately, we’ve hit some issues in dealing with our fangame foes. That woman, Ame is quite the clever lass, using that attack on her as a way to garner sympathy for her side, as well as using the 1st Amendment to protect her games from censorship. Such tactics are commonly used by other politicians to protect their asses as they attempt to gain more power. But I’ve dealt with cheap tactics like those; I’ve played the politician game for 30 damn years, and I’ve got plenty of tricks that’ll blow her out the water.” Armstrong bragged, puffing his chest out.

“How interesting…care to tell us at least one of your tactics?” Wolfgang requested, only for Armstrong to shake his head.

“No can do; if I were to reveal my plans before putting them in action, the enemy could catch wind of them and use them to counter our strategies.” Armstrong replied, crossing his thick arms. “A similar incident happened to that Yasuke lad, which is what cost him his potential spot as head of the Steering Committee.”

Well you know what they say, loose lips cause inconvenient shit to happen.

“Ah yes, I remember that incident. The poor sod ranted for at least half a day about how he was cheated out of it due to “that brats luck” as he chose to put it. However he ended up staging a coup under the orders of that Junko lady he serves, and executed the bastard who stole his job from him.” Greyfield commented, showing admiration for the young man. “Now that, is Social Darwinism at its finest!”

If the brat in question was Naegi, then major kudos to Yasuke for dealing with him.

“Yes, and it is Social Darwinism that will lead us all to victory. After all we’re the strongest army out there!” Wolfgang chuckled maniacally. “In case you two feel thirsty, you can help yourself to my rare brandy. It’s in the cellar.”

“Excellent! A cool glass of brandy goes perfectly with the sweet taste of victory!” Armstrong grinned, clenching his fist tightly as he and Greyfield walked down the stairs in order to enter the cabin cellar, leaving Wolfgang to ponder to himself. It was then that Astolfo and his new friends leapt out of the chest and confronted the general.

Hey, Hongou. Next time you and your chums decide to leap out of nowhere, why not take some advice from these three?

“Y-You!” Wolfgang gasped, pointing at Akame and Kurome. “You’re both supposed to be dead!”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but we’re alive and kicking! Plus, we got some reinforcements.” Kurome giggled, pointing at Astolfo who gazed at the general.

“General Wolfgang Statz, I’ve heard some troubling rumors about you; how you willingly sided with Krishna and his evil army. This along with the fact that you killed my friend’s allies, and have been opposing the Pokémon fangames means that you deserve to die!” Astolfo commented, pointing his sword at the general, who started to panic.

“But mainly because of the fangames; I couldn’t give to shits about my friends allies whatsoever.”

“N-Now hold on there! I-I was just following orders!” Wolfgang stuttered, backing a few feet away from the intruders. “S-Surely you can show me some m-mercy!”

“Sorry, but I have to kill you. Nothing personal, I’m just following my orders.” Akame replied coldly, as the trio lunged at the general and plunged their blades into his chest and torso, causing Wolfgang to gasp and cough up blood, as he slid off of the blades and collapsed onto the floor, dead as a result of the triple assault. “Mission accomplished.” Akame replied, cleaning her blade before sheathing it back into her scabbard.

Well that was disappointing. A one-chapter appearance for a one-mission villain in the—hey, wait a minute!

“Well come on then, let’s get out of here!” Kurome called out, as the trio quickly bolted outside the cabin, with Wolfgang’s guests walking up the stairs just as the trio successfully escaped.

“Hahaha! This’ll go down nicely—what the fuck?!” Armstrong began, only to recoil in horror upon seeing Wolfgang’s corpse.

“H-How?! We were only gone for a minute, yet here we are looking at our comrade’s corpse!” Greyfield exclaimed, as the two men quietened down all of a sudden.

“So…who’s gonna be the one who tells Lady Tressa about this?” Armstrong inquired.

“W-We better do this together, that way neither of us suffers her wrath alone.” Greyfied replied, as the two men quickly ran out of the cabin.

Oh and what’s the worst thing the smol merchant girl’s gonna do? Well since she killed Esdeath effortlessly, it’ll probably be somewhat terrifying.

Pokémon Fangame Headquarters: A couple hours later

The trio had arrived back at base, with a few passer-by’s noticing that Astolfo’s mood had improved from before.

“Welcome back Astolfo! It’s nice to see that you’re all better from earlier today.” Clover smiled, as she and Light got their suitcases ready.

“Yeah…I’m feeling better now. Wait, where are you two going?” Astolfo inquired.

“Oh, the both of us are going to stay at our friends place while we’re vacationing in Japan. I thank you all for giving us a tour, and allowing us to stay overnight.” Light explained, showing his appreciation to the fangame staff.

“No problems, you’re always welcome to come chill with us anytime, provided that Krishna and his flunkies don’t come to spoil our fun.” Astolfo offered.

“There’ll be plenty of ass talk for us to enjoy.”

“Alright then, we’ll catch you later. See ya!” Clover farewelled the pinkette, as she and her brother took their luggage and exited the headquarters. It was then that Astolfo’s mates had entered the lobby and noticed the pinkettes arrival.

“O-Oh! Welcome back Astolfo.” Chevalier smiled, as his attention was soon focused on the two newcomers. “W-Who are they Astolfo?”

“Ah, you must be one of his friends! I’m Kurome, and this is my big sis Akame. We’re working together to avenge our fallen comrades by defeating the Divine Powers.” Kurome introduced herself, with Akame nodding politely at Astolfo’s friends.

“Well it’s nice to meet you two; we really appreciate the fact that you’re on our side.” Micaiah replied. “After all, we need all the help that we can get in the war against the Divine Powers.”

“Exactly; however there’s one target that I’d like to punish personally, and I’m sure that you all know who I’m talking about.” Roland commented, as everyone had an idea on who he was talking about.

Why punish him? He essentially left Serra ripe for the picking, so to speak. I get that it’s a common tactic used by authors to make their skinsuit look gentlemanly, but I digress.

“I’m fine with your request, but how can we figure out who Serra’s ex-husband was?” Sothe wondered.

“Easy, we beat the information out of them, then once the creep reveals all, we’ll let Roland go wild on them.” Boudica suggested, as everyone gave her odd looks. “What? It worked during the Cryptid Wars.”

“True, but those were mindless beasts, not calculating humans. I doubt they’ll crack easily under interrogation.” Chevalier reminded his companion. “That being said, an interrogation could be useful if we managed to catch one of the traitors, so as to learn about the real reason why they betrayed us.”

“My guess is that they’re in on Tressa’s money making schemes, and were pissed off that she got fired from her position as Marketing Director.” Astolfo commented, turning to face the two guests.

So I take it that Tri-Master was her magnum opus? In that case, I don’t see it selling all to well.

“That said, you two are welcome to stay here with us.”

“Thanks, but we won’t be able to stay here; it’ll draw too much attention to us.” Akame replied. “Anyway, we better go. I think there’s a cabin with our name on it, don’t you say?”

“Hell yeah! I can’t wait to raid the fridge and see what sweets that stuffy old fool was snacking on!” Kurome grinned, as the two girls proceeded to exit the building. “Catch ya later Astolfo!”

“Catch you later you two, I hope we see each other again!” The pinkette grinned, as he waved farewell at them.

“Oh Astolfo! While you were out, we received reports that the traitors are initiating a rally at the area north of Kinshicho, but we won’t let them get away with it.” Micaiah informed the pinkette of this latest development.

Joy, another rally for the heroes to disrupt. How original.

“Hehehe, with our power, and the fangame creator’s skill, we’ll teach those traitors a thing or two.” Sothe chuckled, flexing his arms. “That said, we should rest up for the night.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Astolfo agreed to the idea, as they proceeded to retire to their dorms.

???

The mysterious area had a holy aura unlike anything that has ever existed. The magnificent throne room was decorated with paintings that depicted famous stories from the Bible, such as the Stations of the Cross, and the mass Exodus of Jews under the watch of Moses. An angel had entered the room and knelt before a tall seraph who exuded a near-indescribable amount of holy power.

“Lord Merkabah, Sir Gaston and his Crusaders were successful in locating the fabled Warrior of Light, the one who wields the legendary Lightsworns.” The angel reported. “As we speak, the Warrior of Light is busy fighting alongside the Unclean Ones.”

It was only a matter of time before the author realises that this is a Shin Megami fic, and introduces the never-ending war between Law and Chaos.

“And why would my Warrior of Light fight alongside the filth? Surely they haven’t been led astray by their sinful beliefs.” Merkabah demanded an answer, causing the lesser angel to gulp.

“M-My lord, the report I got mentioned how the Warrior of Light is fighting to protect the Pokémon fangames—“ the angel began, only to get frighting as a bolt of lightning struck the ground near him.

“So the Warrior of Light has been brainwashed by the Unclean Ones and their loathsome fangames that seek to destroy the Lords utopia. We must bring them back and make them our Messiah, to replace that filthy sinner Flynn.” Merkabah issued an order. “I want the Crusaders to reclaim him by any means nessecary!”

I thought you lot were alright with the fangames. Guess that mean’s Gaston’s off the favorites list then.

“A-As you wish my lord!” The angel bowed before his master. “One more thing, the demon Lord Lucifer has challenged you to a confrontation near Ichigaya, possibly to end things once and for all.”

“Very well, I shall send that loathsome demon into the abyss, where he’ll rot for all eternity. None can survive the wrath of the Lord’s Chariot!” Merkabah boldly declared, as the heavenly being disappearing in a ball of light, most likely to prepare for the upcoming battle between Law and Chaos.

???

The large room had an appearance that can be likened to the deepest bowels of hell itself. There was fire and brimstone everywhere you looked, and there was a solid gold throne at the back of the room. A small demon entered the room and kneeled before the much larger demon, who radiated an aura of unspeakable evil.

“Lord Lucifer, the angels have accepted our challenge!” The demon grinned before it’s master.

And now we get the Demon Lord himself; I swear if this challenge involves card games, I’m going to jump out the nearest window.

“Hahaha! I knew that mutt would go for it. Merkabah was always one for charging into situations without thinking; a fitting attitude for one who prides themselves on being the Lord’s Chariot.” Lucifer chuckled maniacally, clapping his hands. “How goes the battle against the Divine Powers?”

“As of now, not much has changed. But ever since those fangame peddlers entered the fight, the Divine Powers have been dealt a few losses.” The demon reported.

“Those fangame addicts never cease to amaze me, using their wretched trash to enrage Krishna and his allies, causing them to make foolish mistakes. Still, I can’t forgive them for making those accursed things. Imagine, the spirit of Reborn hiding in some jewellery and saving the day, granting a happy ending to all the self-inserts that the pathetic developers added into the game, because they know that their life is meaningless.” Lucifer drawled, scratching his chin.

And he hates the fangames as well, because what’s subtlety at this point?

“Indeed Lord Lucifer. But how would you feel if we used those games to our advantage? We can obtain the data, insert Satanic messages in them, and condemn the characters to Hell, and have them become our eternal slaves.” The demon suggested.

“Ah, a most interesting idea. At the very least, it’ll be hilarious to use their own weapon against the fangame peddlers.” Lucifer agreed to the idea. “But that’ll have to wait, after all I’ve got a challenge to uphold.”

Now things are getting interesting…I can’t wait to see how amazing this showdown will be. Originally I was going to have a lemon in this chapter, but I decided to postpone it since there was a lemon a few chapters ago. Anyway, I’ll catch you all in the next chapter everyone.

You mean to tell me there was a lemon planned for this chapter, most likely involving the two sisters? I think we all dodged a bullet here, and I am mighty grateful for that.

This fic is starting to get tiring; between all the nonsensical crossovers, the laughably bad plot, and the dull action sequences, I yearn for a break from this nightmare. Perhaps I should put more effort into finding a breather mock before delving back to this.


Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin stolen)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Noel
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah
Gaston

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Tressa/The Matriarch
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Johnny Klebitz
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Yasuke Matsuda
Yuuto Akimaya

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake
Cal
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius
Redi
Sam
Elia
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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GorillaGamer
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Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat Feb 16, 2019 11:09 pm

Well it’s a damn shame I wasn’t able to find anything decent on fanfiction.net, so it’s back to this thing again. Only this time I’m in luck because this chapter really is something. I could literally spend all day tearing this chapter apart, but nobody has the time to read all my inane babbling, so let’s get cracking!

Welcome to an action packed instalment of Divine Conspiracy, where there will be two action sequences, one between the heroes and traitors, and one between the armies of Heaven and Hell. It’s going to be a fanservice-riddled chapter for my Pokémon fans, and my Shin Megami fans, that I’m sure they’ll love.

Yay, two fights for the price of none, again. I love it when the author is this “generous.”

Additionally, I’m planning on writing another date chapter between Roland and Serra, so that’ll be amazing.

Joy…

So strap yourselves in because it’s going to be one wild ride!

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined, and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 23: Traitor Showdown, the Second Ballad

Tsukiji Kongangi: Throne room

Tressa had an annoyed look on her face as she was eating her McNuggets while lounging on her throne; she had heard about the MS Waifu Army’s latest failure, and was in a rather sour mood.

Well if the McNuggets aren’t helping, then I’d be more than happy to take them from you.

It was then that Big Smoke entered the room and bowed before her.

“My lady, Greyfield and Armstrong have some urgent news to tell you!” Big Smoke reported, as the young woman sighed to herself.

“Very well, bring them in.” Tressa sighed, not in the mood for anymore interruptions. Upon her orders, Big Smoke gestured for the two men to enter the room, as they immediately proceeded to bow before their master. “What is it this time?”

“M-My lady. W-We were busy having a discussion with General Wolfgang when he wanted us to retrieve some brandy to share. T-The both of us went to the cellar to get it, only to see his dead body lying on the ground. We were only gone for a minute, but he was somehow assassinated during that time.

“He just died you know; like a glitched out video game character.”

H-Have mercy on us my lady!” Greyfield explained, the older man pleading for mercy as Tressa sighed in frustration.

“Great; another one of our comrades has been slain by the fangame addicts.” Tressa scoffed in anger, glaring at the two men. “Get up, both of you!”

“W-What are you going to do to us?” Armstrong inquired, beads of sweat falling down the usually stoic man’s forehead.

This is the part where a certain orifice should be prepared for a violent, forceful penetration by a plastic replica of the male reproductive organs.

“Since this is your first fuck-up, I’ll let the two of you go. However you will watch what happens to those who displease me multiple times.” Tressa explained, gesturing at the two men to step to the side as Big Smoke ran to the door and opened it, as several guards dragged the MS Waifu Army Leaders into the room, bound by chains. The guards then pushed the waifus onto the ground, and ordered them to kneel before Tressa.

“T-Tressa, W-We can explain—“ Amber began, only to get silenced by Tressa slamming her fist onto the throne’s arm.

“Silence! I didn’t not give you permission to speak. You bitches have failed me and Lord Krishna several times now. Not only that, but your shitty game has been costing us too much money!”

Look, I don’t know how expensive it is to make and maintain a gacha game these days, but I’m sure there’s some gold in that lavish temple of yours that can cover the fees.

Tressa barked at them in fury, so much so that even the gods would be impressed and terrified. “And need I mention how pathetic you acted that night in Kouze? I mean you nearly gave us away over a scrap with Serra.”

Oh, was Tressa part of the crowd that clapped when the dumb meanies were owned?

“W-We can explain. We were offended that a hunk like Roland was dating that hideous skank—“ Alma tried to explain, only for Tressa to silence them once again.

“Oh don’t give me that shit; Serra is far more beautiful than any of you ugly cunts!” Tressa retorted, causing the leaders to flinch back in pain and tear up from the brutal insult. “I know the woman, and while I do hate complimenting my enemy, I see that she is a beautiful woman, and I can see why Roland would fall for her. You lot on the other hand are a bunch of cheap slags who are the video game equivalent of a village bicycle. Hell, I’d go so far as to say that the women in the MS Loyalist Army are prettier than you lot.”

This is starting to get uncomfortable; the author is demonising these flanderised characters simply because they’re not as pretty as the chick he’s got a crush on, going so far as to have the antagonist openly praise his waifu for no reason other than beating it over our heads that she’s pretty. The worst part is that the author wants us to side with Tressa, as she literally bullies the Metal Slug girls into tears. I hope on all that is holy that this guy never gives anyone dating advice.

“Ouch…” Armstrong whispered to Greyfield. “That’s gotta hurt.”

“P-Please give us another chance!” Aisha pleaded, getting on her hands and knees and begging like a pathetic, bootlicking politician.

Well there’s something in this room that’s pathetic, and it certainly ain’t me.

“Very well, I’ll give you lot one last chance.” Tressa sighed, not wanting to grant them any sort of mercy. “But, you will suffer the consequences of your failures.”

“C-Consequences…” Izabella inquired, as the guards tied the five women to some chairs, and were turned around, as they saw several of their comrades tied to chairs in a white room that was visible via a glass window. The captured MS Waifu commanders were Aswang, Agalia, Arsinoe, Halle, Mahiru, Chunyan, Molly, Ichima, Louise, Gisee, Emma, Franke, and Teresa.

Oh look, several villains make their debut for some contrived reas—Hold the phone, some of these name’s weren’t on the list given to us back in Chapter 5. Great retcon you pulled, asshole.

“W-What are you going to do to them?!” Elysion demanded an answer.

“My Octoguard captured them while you were being escorted here. In fact, Big Smoke informed me of his success earlier today.” Tressa flashed a smile, looking over to her trusted leader of the Octoguard.

Octoguard? Why, who could possibly make up the rest of the Octoguard?

“It was an honor to carry out your will, Lady Tressa.” Big Smoke bowed before her, as he walked over to the MS Waifus. “Shall I tell them, or do you want to?”

“I’ll inform them, thank you very much.” Tressa replied, getting up off her throne. “Putting it simply, we’re gonna execute those failures you call commanders.”

“N-No! H-have mercy on them!” Aisha begged once more, only for Tressa to slap the woman harshly, with Greyfield and Armstrong impressed by her power.

Clearly the smol merchant girl has slaps so powerful that it makes grown men wince in pain. Then again, this is the same smol girl that killed Esdeath with a sneeze…

Tressa then gestured for the guards in the room to turn the power on, causing millions of volts of electricity to be sent coursing through the prisoners bodies. The victims couldn’t even scream before their bodies gave in to the torture, and were pronounced dead within seconds. The five Waifu leaders had horrified looks on their faces, an expression shared by Armstrong and Greyfield as the two men realised that either one of them could’ve died today.

I asked for medium-rare, and you gave me char-grilled meat! For shame, Tressa.

“That is all for now. Now get out of my face, you disgusting vermin!” Tressa ordered, as the guards untied the waifus, who immediately proceeded to bolt out of the throne room in utter fear and terror. The infallible Matriarch then gazed at the two lieutenants, who had looks of fear plastered on their faces. “Now you know the price of failure.”

“Y-yes ma’am!” Greyfield blurted, saluting the young lady.

“Good.” Tressa replied, as she sat back down on the throne. “Big Smoke, how about we introduce the rest of the Octoguard to these gentlemen? It seems that they weren’t here when the others met them.”

Come on, can’t we save the introductions for another day? No? Well fuck you then!

“A wise idea, my lady.” Big Smoke agreed, as he whipped out his phone and dialled in a few numbers, sending them all a text message. A few minutes later, seven hooded figures entered the room in a blur that most people wouldn’t be able to see, and bowed before Tressa. “Fellow comrades; why don’t you introduce yourselves to these fine young gentlemen?” Big Smoke suggested, as the hooded figures lowered their cloaks and revealed their faces.

“Ophilia Clement; cleric from Flamesgrace.” She introduced herself.

“Cyrus Albright; esteemed scholar from Atlasdam.” He introduced himself.

“Olberic Eisenberg; former knight of the kingdom of Hornburg.” He introduced himself.

“Primrose Azelhart; former dancer turned assassin.” She introduced herself.

“Alfyn Greengrass; rookie apothecary from Clearbrook.” He introduced himself.

“Therion; world-renowned thief.” He introduced himself.

“H’aanit; expert hunter from S’warkii.” She introduced herself, with Greyfield and Armstrong eyeing them up in awe; these were some pretty impressive customers that Tressa has under her command.

Yep, Junpei went down the obvious route and chucked in the rest of the Octopath protagonists as villains to serve his Villain Sue. Eh, the intros were nice and quick so I’ll give him that.

“I’d recall how the nine of us met, but that’ll be a while, and we don’t have a lot of time on our hands.” Tressa said to the two older men. “You two can go now, I need to chat with my Octoguard.”

Armstrong and Greyfield bowed before their leader, as they proceeded to exit the throne room.

North of Kinshicho

Astolfo and his gang were psyched up for the upcoming battle with the traitors. And it seemed that they weren’t the only ones pumped up, as Ame called upon several of her best companions to deal with the traitors once and for all. The group was stationed in a building near a spacious park, as they began going over their intel.

“Ok, there’s around 8 or so traitors stationed in the park. And from the look of things, they appear to be Professor Maple, Blake, Cal, Madelis, Sam, Elia, Radius and Baron.” Ame pointed out, eying the group via binoculars. “I see some Ashura-kai thugs as well, so this could be a bit dicey.”

Great, another lopsided Pokémon battle featuring critters with less durability than a glass cannon. This’ll be fun…

“No need to worry, we can take care of the Ashura-kai thugs, while you’ve got the traitors to deal with.” Boudica commented, unsheathing her sword and twirling it in her hands, earning a nod of respect from Ame.

“Good, that makes things a lot easier.” Ame smiled, before turning to her allies. “Alright then, let’s teach those cowards a lesson!” She boldly declared, as everyone let out a quick cheer before they exited the building and hid behind some bushes that overlooked the area. They saw the traitors attempting to generate anger in the crowd via an impromptu speech.

“Pokémon Reborn is a cancer infecting our youth! What with its impossible challenges, edgy story and diabolical propaganda! It is our duty as agents of the Divine Powers to put a stop to this nightmare!” Radius declared, causing the enraged crowd to holler and cheer like drunken fools.

I see we’re no longer going down the subtle route; it’s gonna be the ravings of a rabid street preacher from here on in.

“KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!” An enraged man screamed out loud, like a wolf in heat.

“We will defeat the Reborn devs, and punish them for trying to indoctrinate our children!” Professor Maple promised, filling the crowd with renewed hope. It was then that a few smoke grenades were thrown into the area, creating a blanket of smoke that caused the crowd to flee and the traitors to shield their eyes.

Evidently, the traitors need to attract people who don’t shit their pants over a little smoke.

When the smoke died down, they were confronted by Ame and her band of merry heroes.

“Y-You again?!” Baron growled, glaring at Melia who simply smiled in response.

“Yeah, I have a habit of agitating maniacal sociopaths.” Melia giggled politely, as she unclipped a Pokéball from her belt. “Alright then, shall we battle then?”

“No!” a voice called out from the crowd of traitors, as Professor Maple confronted the heroes. “We’re gonna settle this with fisticuffs!”

What? No Pokémon battle, just an old-fashioned rumble? Huh, this may be a blessing in disguise.

“Fisticuffs? Hell yeah, I’m down for a good rumble!” Garret grinned, flexing his arms as the traitors glared ominously at them. “Well what are you waiting for, come get some!”

The traitors were enraged by Garret’s bold display and were planning on bumrushing the guy, when they were alerted by the sound of an Ashura-kai army making their way towards the area.

Or not. Seems like every chapter with the Ashura-Kai is doomed to suck extra ass.

“Don’t worry about these imbeciles, we can handle them.” Astolfo declared boldly, as he and his group eyed up the vicious gangsters.

“Shut the fuck up, you little prick! We’re gonna kick your asses and hand your women over to Mr. Tayama so he can build up his harem.” The head lieutenant smirked evilly, as several Ashura thugs made their way menacingly to the heroes,

That line was so goddamn cheesy, that it was hilarious; though I doubt the author intended it to be funny.

only to get halted in their tracks as Micaiah laughed at them. “W-What’s so funny?!”

“I’m laughing at the notion that you could even stand a chance against us. Not only are we friends with the people who created the best games of all time, but we’re all combat hardened due to years of fighting off increasingly powerful foes. You on the other hand, are nothing but a rag-tag bunch of delinquents who follow Tayama’s orders like the mindless drones that you are. You’re so reliant on summoning demons that you’re bodies have become weak and frail.” Micaiah replied smugly,

Holy smug strawman! This has to be a fucking joke; that paragraph was nothing more than the author going “LOOK HOW AMAZING I AM FOR PLAYING POKEMON FANGAMES!!” all while throwing a truckload of shit onto the stock antagonists.

infuriating the lieutenant to the point where he lunged at her in an attempt to punch the pretty lady. His fist collided with the side of her head, only for it to shatter into pieces while Micaiah wasn’t fazed at all by the attack.

Oh come on now! How weak is this asshole if he can’t break through Micaiah’s shitty defenses?!

The lieutenant roared in pain as he clutched his broken arm, with Astolfo looking at the Ashura grunts with contempt in his eyes. “You lot really are disgusting wastes of sperm. Between your horrid treatment of my friends during their meeting with your dickhead boss, your pathetic show all those weeks ago in Kinshicho, and the fact that you lot are the most pathetic sacks of shit I have ever seen, it’s baffling on why Krishna recruited you all to begin with.”

Fodder. Why else would a powerful faction hire shitty thugs?

The pinkette coolly mocked them, firing up the lieutenant as he charged at Astolfo, only for the pinkette to punch him in the jaw, knocking him out cold.

“T-Time to kick your ass, losers!” an Ashura grunt bellowed outloud, as the dramatic rumble between the heroes and the villains began, with the latter charging at the heroes in a crazed fury, giving the heroes a decisive advantage.

Of course they did. God forbid the enemies acted competent for once in their lives.

Astolfo dodged an incoming punch from an Ashura grunt, countering with a wicked punch to their gut, causing the thug to groan in pain before Astolfo kicked his head to knock the tosser out. Meanwhile, Sothe and Micaiah were teaming up with each other as several Ashura grunts lunged at them, with the young thief kicking one in the face in response to the attack. Another Ashura grunt attempted to sucker punch the young man, only to get tripped up and knocked out by a quick jab from Micaiah.

“I’ve seen stuffy nobles from Begnion put up a better fight than you chumps.” Sothe taunted the villains, angering them greatly. A pair of Ashura grunts attempted to bumrush the heroes, only for the duo to get sideswiped by Sothe and Micaiah, as the heroic duo pummelled the back of the grunts heads with their fists, knocking the villains out.

“Well that’s a wrap!” Micaiah smiled, as she brought Sothe closer to her and kissed him passionately, angering the Ashura grunts as they felt that Micaiah belonged to Tayama, and not some street rat.

Why on earth would they think that Micaiah belongs to Tayama? She isn’t even on his harem grocery list. Unless there was a retcon somewhere down the line and I missed it by accident.

“Die!” an Ashura grunt bellowed, unsheathing a knife and began running towards the duo, only to get sliced in half by Boudica.

“Cowards like you don’t deserve any mercy.” Boudica scoffed, wiping the blood off her sword, as she noticed Roland, Chevalier and Blair battling some Ashura grunts. Chevalier had dodged an incoming punch, and kicked an Ashura grunt over to Blair, who punched him in the back before smashing a rock on the back of his head, killing the grunt. Meanwhile, Roland had swept a few grunts off their feet with a low sweeping kick, and punched them in the head to knock them out. However, an Ashura grunt noticed that his back was turned away from him and brought out a knife before proceeding to charge towards the young man. But before the villain could commit his villainous deed, he was knocked out by a rock that was thrown at the back of his head. Roland turned around and saw the thug collapse onto the ground, only to see Serra waving at him.

Wait, are the Pokémon trainers actually fighting with their bare hands, as opposed to taking part in a Pokémon battle? Furthermore, are all the fangame staff part of this rumble? Does that mean that somewhere, Shelly is going toe-to-toe with Ashura thugs and knocking them out like she’s Little Mac, all while Heather acts as a coach of sorts? Is so, then that is an image worthy of some fanart.

“Thanks for the save!” Roland grinned, before he gasped in surprise and picked up the knife, throwing it towards an Ashura grunt that was charging at Serra, the knife striking the grunt in the eye, causing him to roar in pain before slumping to the ground, and died from the attack.

“I guess we’re even now.” Serra giggled in appreciation at Roland for saving her from that grunt. As the Ashura grunts were getting dealt with easily, the traitors knew they had to take action now, and charged at the heroes. Elia unsheathed a katana and pointed it at Titania, daring the redhead to fight back against him.

“Alright, I’ll play your game. But don’t start crying once I kick your ass.” Titania accepted the challenge, bringing out her Aegislash and equipping it, goading for Elia to attack her. Her taunt seemed to work as the traitor roared in anger and charged at her, flailing his sword in the air like a complete fool.

Sure, why not? At this point, I expect the boss battle against Krishna to be a complete breeze due to a sudden drop in IQ.

Titania was able to effortlessly parry the attacks and tripped Elia, causing him to stumble in front of the redhead, as she soon stabbed Elia in the back, causing him to cough up some blood before he collapsed onto the ground and died.

“Wow, great job Tania!” Amaria smiled, running over to her lover as the two embraced each other and got into a passionate kiss. This angered an Ashura grunt as he felt that the two women should be Tayama’s sex slaves,

Why get worked up over it, random mook? I’m sure the author would write Tayama to fetishize lesbian relationships, ergo this’ll be right up his alley.

and proceeded to charge at the lovers, his hand locked into a punch. However Amaria noticed the incoming grunt and caught his hand, before twisting it slighty, causing the grunts wrist to be broken. The grunt roared in pain, as he stepped back a few feet and tripped over Elia’s corpse, and was knocked out as a result.

“Heh, I didn’t know you were that strong Amy.” Titania whistled a compliment at her lover, who blushed in response to the comment.

“O-Oh, I didn’t put that much effort into it. He must’ve had some weak bones.” Amaria replied, running her hand through her smooth, silky hair.

They all have weak bones, you ninny! Point me to an Ashura-grunt who took more than one punch in this damn chapter and I’ll rest my case.

Sam had just noticed that Elia was dead, and in a fit of rage, lunged at her enemies in an attempt to kill them. However she was soon halted in her tracks by a splitting pain that coursed through her back, before collapsing onto the ground and started gasping in pain, as a massive wound opened up on her back.

Don’t you just hate it when you get wounds randomly appearing on your body, with no probable cause? I sure do.

She weakly turned her head to the side, a look of fear plastered on her face as she realised who her attacker was.

“Oh my, that was the best you can do?” Aurora mocked the fallen Lightning admin, who attempted to spew curses at the intimidating girl, only to leave the realm of the living, and was pronounced dead. “Hmph, these weaklings are no match for me. I’d go so far as to say that Richard could’ve taken out those chumps. Of course, the little fella wouldn’t hurt someone else, but that’s why he’s such a sweetheart.” Aurora commented to herself, complimenting Scarlett’s boyfriend.

Thank you for the reminder that my waifu’s been pinched in this fic…

Meanwhile, Radius was angrily eyeing up Radomus, who stood their calmly as Radius stomped back and forth near the tactician. “Y-You’ve got a lot of nerve rallying up with that thief Ame!” Radius barked angrily at Radomus, with the latter shaking his head in response.

“You say we’re thieves, when you were the ones who were caught stealing assets from Pokémon Rejuvenation.” Radomus pointed out.

“S-Shut up! Our game would’ve been accepted by Lord Krishna, since at the very least we aren’t writing a story riddled with self-inserts, unlike Reborn which was created to sate your pathetic children with the hopes of becoming super special heroes. Oh wait, I should say child, because Noel got fuck all while Anna got all the special treatment.” Radius taunted his opponent viciously, but it failed in a spectacular manner.

Much like how these last few paragraphs failed in a spectacular manner. We were told back in Chapter 16 that the Tri-Master development team were supposedly framed for the theft and were punished unjustly. Here, that all gets thrown out the window as Radius openly admits to the theft, at least by not shooting down the accusation.

And then there’s the comment about the self-inserts; while I will admit it’s my biggest gripe with Reborn, I can’t say I know the full context of the whole thing about Anna getting preferential treatment over Noel, and I doubt I’ll get an answer anytime soon. What gets me is that why on earth would Radius think that Anna’s special treatment would be a suitable taunt for the occasion, when it has nothing to do with the previous comment about the asset theft.


“Perhaps you should’ve paid more attention to the development of Reborn. Noel knocked back the offer of having special treatment in the game, and was more than happy to let Anna have it.” Radomus corrected the man. “Besides, didn’t you add a self-insert to please your son? Kinda hypocritical to get on my case when you did the exact same thing.”

“S-Shut up! I couldn’t care less about my son!” Radius bellowed, as he came up with an especially evil taunt. “Once we’re done kicking your ass, I’ll bring you and your children over to Mr. Tayama. I’ll make you watch as Tayama kills Noel, and rapes Anna, all while you’re completely helpless.” Radius sneered, hoping to enrage Radomus. However the villain’s jaw dropped when he saw that Radomus’ composure still wasn’t broken.

And we get the villains threatening to rape underage children, because we totally haven’t seen this shit before, am I right?

“Honestly, if that’s the best you’ve got, than I’ve already won. I saw firsthand just how pitiful these Ashura-kai are, and I’m confident that their leader is no better. I’d go so far as to say that my children could take him on and come out victorious. Furthermore, you proved to me that you are a depraved individual, based on the fact that you expressed your desire for my children to meet such a gruesome fate.” Radomus began his victory speech.

“In that case, wish death on my son. I couldn’t care less about what you say!” Radius snarled, the villain losing his composure.

You do know that the purpose of a taunt is to infuriate the opponent, and not yourself right?

“No, I will not. I have no desire to stoop to your level. This combined with the fact that you haven’t shown any remorse for your theft all those months ago is a clear indicator that you have nothing left up your sleeves.” Radomus concluded his speech, a victorious smirk on his face. “Checkmate.”

Radius let out an inhumane roar as he charged at Radomus, only for the latter to sidestep out of the way, surprising Radius as he soon tripped over his feet and landed face first onto the ground. A few seconds later, a rather bulky Ashura grunt fell on top of Radius, breaking the man’s neck and killed him instantly.

You can rest easy knowing that you’re a strong contender for the next Darwin Awards, Radius, because your performance was absolutely pathetic. Hurling a few ineffective taunts, and charging like a brain-damaged goat has to be one of the worst strategies I’ve seen in a long time, all topped off by the most embarrassing death I’ve read. I swear this damn fic is a meme at this point.

“Oh my…now that was one thing I didn’t anticipate.” Radomus commented in regards to Radius’ death, as Serra and Roland checked up on him to see what the matter was.

“Is everything alright?” Roland inquired.

“I’m fine myself, but Radius is no longer around, as you can see. This grunt was knocked out and fell on his neck, breaking it rather easily.” Radomus informed the duo.

“Well considering what he said about your children, I can’t say he didn’t have it coming.” Serra commented, as she soon saw the remaining Ashura-kai grunts retreat from the area. “I guess we won that battle; I’m not one for fisticuffs to be honest, but I’ll admit that it was interesting to say the least.”

Yeah, yeah who cares about that, I wanna know how many thugs Shelly knocked out.

“Ah, you three are ok. That’s good to see!” Ame called out, running over to the trio to inform them on the situation. “We managed to defeat Sam, Elia and Radius from what I can see. Both Blake and Cal have been captured, though Maple, Madelis and Baron managed to escape. Our side only suffered a few superficial cuts and scrapes, nothing too serious. As for the Ashura-kai, well that lost a whole lot of grunts today.”

“Well I guess that’s a job well team!” Roland grinned proudly, as the heroes celebrated their victory. “Say Serra, how would you like to go out with me sometime this week?”

“I can’t say that I’ve ever been asked out on a date after taking part in a fight, but sure, I’m more than happy to go out with you again.” Serra accepted the offer. “In fact, I know a few places that we can visit.”

“Yeah, we just won a fight that resulted in the deaths of several people, but can we go out tomorrow?”

“I don’t see why not.”

You really can’t make this shit up if you tried.


“Wonderful!” Roland smiled. “Why don’t we discuss it when we’re back at HQ?”

“As a matter of fact, we better rest up for the day since I think we all earnt it after today.” Ame suggested, as all the heroes made their way back to the Fangame Headquarters.

Pokémon Fangame Headquarters: 90 minutes later

The victorious combatants were resting up back at HQ, celebrating their first major victory over the Divine Powers. Blake and Cal were being interrogated, however neither of the brothers had spoken a single word, to the hero’s frustration. All of a sudden, there was a knock at the front door, with Astolfo volunteering to check it out. Upon opening the door, the pinkette was surprised to see two middle-aged men standing there, one tall and lanky, and had reading glasses over his eyes. The other was rather muscular and had several scars on his battle-hardened face.

Oh, what now?!

“Can I help you two with anything?” Astolfo inquired.

“Ah yes, may we have a discussion with your leader? Word got around in regards to your victory over the Divine Powers, and we wish to discuss a possible alliance.” The bespectacled man requested a meeting.

“I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, you’re free to wait in the lobby.” Astolfo replied, earning a nod of appreciation from the two men as they entered the luxurious building while the pinkette made his way to his leader for the all-clear. A couple minutes later, Astolfo returned to the lobby with Ame, who accepted the negotiations and escorted the two men to the meeting room. Once they were there, the two men too their seats, as Ame and Astolfo sat alongside Melia, Shiv and Garret, who were ready to start negotiations.

It's like the heroes have pre-cognition in this fic, but it only works when they need to have a meeting over irrelevant shit.

“I’d like to offer my thanks for allowing us to discuss a few things with you. The name’s Fujiwara, and this lovely gentleman beside me is Skins.” The bespectacled man introduced himself and his companion. “We’re the leaders of the Hunter Association.”

Oh, these two. About time they showed up in this fic, we haven’t had much Shin Megami stuff recently, ignoring the incompetent thugs from earlier.

“Ah yes, I’ve heard stories about the Hunter Association, and how they were the ones who are valiantly fighting the Divine Powers for humanity’s benefit.” Ame praised the new comers.

“Heh, it ain’t just the Divine Powers we’re fighting. There’s the angels and the demons, both of which want us humans under their thumbs.” Skins chuckled, crossing his arms.

“I remember a representative from the angels wishing for our assistance in fighting off the Divine Powers, but his arrogance put us off. As for the demons, we haven’t even heard of them until today, which should tell you about our stance on them.” Astolfo replied, recalling the memories involving Gaston and his troop of Crusaders.

It was terrifying how he cheated to defeat some incompetent twit dressed up as a minor character in 5Ds.

“Our scouts had managed to record a showdown between the angels and the demons near Ichigaya, and from the look of things it involved their leaders.” Fujiwara reported, gesturing at Skins to get the tape out of the suitcase they brought with them.

“Yes, I do recall something about the angels serving this Merkabah, whoever they are. But who exactly is leading the demons?” Melia inquired.

“The demons follow the orders of the Demon Lord Lucifer; from what I know he used to be buddies with Merkabah, until the former’s pride got the better of him and he tried rebelling against YHVH, only to get sent down into the depths of hell.” Skins informed the young lady, as he managed to retrieve the tape. “Do you mind if we used your video player?”

“Not at all; I’ll help you set it up.” Astolfo offered, as he took the tape and inserted it into the machine, before pressing a few switches. The pinkette turned the lights off as the video player was turned on and the video began to play on the big-screen TV.

Video Recording:

The scene took place in a large, underground arena that had clearly seen better days.

What, are we now going to see the angels and demons engage in a street brawl, or are we going to get a meaningful discussion on the merits of Order and Chaos?

Two large groups confronted each other, one side consisting of humans and demons, the other side consisting of humans and angels. One human on each side stepped in front of the groups and entered the boxing ring, as they brushed off their Samurai uniforms and locked eyes with each other, as both sides eagerly eyed up their candidate to see who will win in this battle between Order and Chaos.

“Heh, I’m surprised you took me up on my challenge Jonathan. And here I was, thinking that you Luxurors were too perfect to deal with a Casualry.” The candidate for the demons taunted the angel’s candidate.

“Our stations have nothing to do with this, Walter!” Jonathan retorted to his former companion. “Anyone could end up with a comfortable life, provided they put in the effort.”

“Bullshit! Us Casualries work our fingers to the bone, and end up dying penniless, while you Luxurors get gifted power and wealth the moment you are born, and end up getting richer by exploiting the Casualries.” Walter snapped at the Blessed Samurai. “Order-obsessed fools like you are they reason why that revolting bastard Tayama is oppressing Japan to this very day!”


Well if he is oppressing Japan, then he’s doing an incredibly piss poor job at it, especially with thugs as brittle as wet paper.

“Don’t you dare compare us to that loathsome man!” Jonathan retorted in offense. “It is Lord Merkabah’s will that Order exists in Japan, regardless of how repugnant it’s ruler is. Such is the teachings of the Lord.”

“Please, like I’d listen to the words of a talking toiletbowl!” Walter coolly retorted, causing the demons to hoot and holler in laughter as an enraged expression appeared on Jonathan’s face.

“Toiletbowl, TOILETBOWL?! How dare you insult the Lord’s Chariot like that!” Jonathan hissed in anger, as he eyed up Lucifer’s spirit and noticed the veiny bulge on his left forearm. “And what is that on Lucifer’s left arm? Is that his faphand?”


What the fuck is this shit?! Toiletbowl? Faphand? Are these a pair of snotty-nosed brats cosplaying as two important characters from SMT: IV? What the fuck was the author on when he thought this was worth the words?!

*sigh* To be fair, it was foolish of me to expect a meaningful debate from this trash.


“Please, like you holier-than-thou angels know what masturbation is.” Walter coolly retorted. “Besides, is that the best you got? Man, you angels really are whipped.”

“And what does that have to do with anything? Nothing, that’s what!” Jonathan retorted. “Besides, I don’t see you lot fighting the Divine Powers. Some Demon Lord you are.”

“This is coming from the same guy who shits himself over Pokémon Fangames…” Walter sneered.

“The Pokémon Fangames are the enemy of the lord; what with their bullshit difficulty, sinful story, and anti-Order propaganda.” Jonathan explained his distaste for the fangames. “Besides, you hate them as well, and don’t you dare lie to me.”


Great, more stock villains to shit on the fangames. Because it was so innovative the first twenty times you did this shit…

“Heheheheheh, you’re right, I do hate the fangames. I find the concept of a bunch of magic jewellery in the ownerships of four young girls to be hilariously nonsensical. I thought I was playing Pokémon, not Captain Planet.” Walter admitted. “That said, you only hate them because you couldn’t get to marry your waifu.”

“W-What?!” Jonathan spluttered, a mask of outrage on his face.

“Hahahaha, busted!” Walter mocked the samurai, eying him up dangerously. “So who’s the lucky lady? Is it Shelly? Or maybe Luna? Could it be Heather? Or perhaps it was Anna?” Walter continued, before gasping in realisation. “Of course, it was Ame all along. You were angry that you couldn’t save her from her death at the hands of Lin.”


I can clearly see why a Shin Megami fan would love this chapter; it has everything they could ask for.

“I-I do not love that wicked temptress at all!” Jonathan spluttered in rage.

“Oh, my mistake. You were thirsting for Isabeau all this time. How could I have forgotten…?” Walter began rubbing the salt in the wounds, as Jonathan decided to counter the accusations.

“I would never love that traitor! But I know you did; yet you were too much of a limp-dick coward to go after her.” Jonathan retorted, as a look of rage appeared on Walter’s face.

“T-take that back!” Walter demanded.

“What’s the matter Demon Lord, can’t take what you dish out?” Jonathan inquired. “We shall clean the world and free it from the filth clinging onto it, and the fangames are on the hitlist.”

“You seek to clean the filth in the world. Sounds like a toiletbowl to me.” Walter regained his cool.


If that’s the case, then mind if you start with this thing? That’ll be greatly appreciated.

“S-Stop calling me that!” Jonathan demanded in anger.

“What’s that, you like that name? Ok then, I’ll indulge you.” Walter sneered, taking in a deep breath. “Toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl, toiletbowl.”

Jonathan decided to give Walter a taste of his own medicine, and took in a deep breath as well. “Faphand, faphand, faphand, faphand, faphand, faphand, faphand, faphand.”

The two samurai continued to squabble among one another until they butted heads with one another and stepped back in pain.

“D-Did you just headbutt me?!” Jonathan demanded an answer.

“Oh don’t play this game with me!” Walter snapped back.

“You did, you did headbutt me you bastard!” Jonathan growled.

“And what are you gonna do about it, huh?” Walter egged Jonathan on, getting right up into his face.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Jonathan growled, pushing Walter and enraging the man.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Walter growled, pushing Jonathan.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Jonathan growled, pushing Walter.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Walter growled, pushing Jonathan. Eventually the duo kept on pushing each other until it escalated into a full on scuffle, the duo collapsing onto the floor and started beating each other up with punches and kicks.


Video recording ends here:

“Shit, the recording ends right when it was about to get good!” Garret cursed, hoping to see more of the brawl.

Thus sparing the dignity of the characters whose identity were stolen by a pair of imbeciles.

“And that was all we were able to record.” Fujiwara admitted. “Still though, it gives us the perfect strategy to deal with Merkabah and Lucifer.”

“How so?” Astolfo inquired, cracking his knuckles. “Because I’m more than eager to punish them for saying such horrid things about my friend’s games.”

“This may take a bit of explainin’ but it’s worth it in the end.” Skins began, as he cleared his throat. “One of the main sources of power for a deity is if people refer to them by their name. We believe that referring to a deity via a derogatory nickname will not only deny them that power, but will weaken them as time goes on.”

Hold the phone; what are they going on about? You mean to tell me that deities get stronger the more people refer to them by their name? In that case, what’s stopping Krishna from ordering his followers to chant his name for hours on end? Heck, does it also work for Shesha? How does it work, Junpei?!

“I take it you wish to use derogatory names for Merkabah and Lucifer?” Shiv assumed, and he was right on the money.

“Bingo!” Skins grinned at the young man. “Which is why the Hunter Association will now refer to Merkabah and Lucifer as Toiletbowl and Faphand respectively. I take it you have no objections?”

“No, we don’t, though it’ll take a while for us to get used to it.” Ame replied. “As for the alliance, we’re more than happy to work with you, provided that you don’t give us any trouble down the line.”

“Wonderful! I’ll be sure to let Flynn know about this.” Fujiwara smiled. “Oh and don’t worry, we won’t give you any trouble, given how popular your games are with the hunters.”

And so the Hunter Association has been blessed by the author for liking the object of his affections. Nothing new to see here.

“Well that’s a rel—wait, did you say Flynn?” Melia began, surprised by what she had just heard. “Is he the same Flynn that Krishna referenced in his speech a while ago?”

“Ah, you saw that as well. Yes, our Flynn is the one Krishna mentioned in his speech. A while ago, the Divine Powers were hoping to make Flynn and Isabeau their Godslayers, but it didn’t end well for them. Based on the fact that Krishna has no need for Flynn anymore, it can be interpreted that he found another Godslayer.” Fujiwara explained.

“Yes…Krishna did find another Godslayer; our friend Damien. He was brainwashed into believing that I killed his mother.” Ame replied sadly, still hung up over the incident.

“I see…” Fujiwara replied, before his watch started buzzing. “My apologies, but we’ve got to head back to base. It was nice meeting you all.”

“Yeah, it was nice meeting you all as well.” Astolfo grinned at the two hunters. “May we emerge victorious in this brutal war.”

“My sentiments exactly.” Skins replied, as the two older men packed up their stuff and left the room, and exited the headquarters.

Well that’s it for this chapter and oh boy, we’re in for another date chapter tomorrow. I wonder what clichés we’ll see this time? I’ll see you all next time, after a well-deserved break from this mess.

Wow, what an epic chapter. It had everything a fanfiction reader could ask for. Anyway, as I alluded to in this chapter, the next chapter will be another date chapter between Roland and Serra, but with a twist thrown in it to spice things up. Anyway, I hope I got you pumped up for it, because I’m pumped up as well for it. Catch you later everyone!

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin stolen)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Noel
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah/Jonathan
Gaston

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer/Walter

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Tressa Colzione/The Matriarch
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Johnny Klebitz
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Yasuke Matsuda
Yuuto Akimaya

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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StabbyKobold
Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:51 am
Location: Denmark
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Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by StabbyKobold » Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:20 am

Heroes confront mob of evil henchmen. Evil henchmen is on a shoestring budget that only affords them a knife to share. Evil henchmen are also a bunch of raging, miogynist morons seemingly working only for the rape benefits. Heroes turns evil henchmen into chunky salsa without effort or difficulty, because a mob of attackers is easily fended off one-by-one. Yeah, this is definitely the author that wrote the bulk of League of Angels.

This story is repetitive. Not only in the terms of plot, but basic terms and phrases are used over an over again, because the author doesn't bother to deviate from set templates in his writing. You want to know how much this bothered me? I wrote a program to give me an accurate count of repeated sequences of words.

Here's just a few examples to illustrate my point.
Throughout the story's 36 chapters, ignoring pre- and post-chapter rantings by the author, the following sequences of words appear by these amounts:

"outfit consisted of": 40 times
"outfit was a": 8 times
"outfit consists of": 5 times

"young girl" or "young lady" or "young woman": 82 times
"young man": 116 times

Any laughter containing "haha" or "hehe": 94 times

It takes more effort to program for sentences with single word substitution structures, but I might do it if the story irks me again.

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GorillaGamer
Posts: 216
Joined: Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:44 pm
Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Sun Mar 10, 2019 8:57 pm

@StabbyKobold: I hear you; the sheer repetitiveness is what makes mocking this thing a lot more difficult than I initially expected. The only source of new material is what other universes the author can cram into this fic. Kudos to you for putting in the effort regarding the calculations.

After that…whatever the hell you want to call it, we’re back with another tame chapter. Well I don’t know if it can really be called that, since it’s another date chapter, but hopefully there’s nothing too stupid in it.


Welcome to the next chapter everyone, I hope you’ll enjoy it as it’s another chapter that’s special to me. There won’t be much action unfortunately, but it’ll be a nice breather after that intense battle in the last chapter. So without further ado, let’s get this party started!

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined, and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 24: The Date-Crashers!

Tsukiji Kongangi: Auditorium

The lieutenants of the Divine Powers were eying up the stage with baited breath, as they saw Tressa and Big Smoke setting up something amazing. Earlier that day, they were all given a ticket with a unique number on it, and were told to keep it with them throughout the night. Once the preparations were complete, Tressa took the mike and made a grandiose opening.

“Welcome everyone, to the first of many Divine Raffles!” Tressa began, as everyone got up and applauded her as if it were a social justice post on Facebook.

There seems to be a lot of those in this fic. A coincidence, or are they but a cheap way to gratify whatever character the author’s jerking off to?

“Today, I’ll be rolling two numbers, and whoever has the matching numbers will be embarking on a most important mission alongside Big Smoke!”

“Goddamn, this is gonna be interesting!” Caesar grinned, clutching his ticket.

“Now it’s time to focus on the wheel of destiny, as Big Smoke will roll out some numbers and determine your fate!” Tressa began, gesturing at Big Smoke as he began to spin the wheel as fast as his thick arms enabled him to. Around a minute later, a numbered ball popped out of the hole and onto the tray.

“Number 22, we got a number 22 over here.” Big Smoke picked up the ball and read it out loud.

Shit! Why’d I had to get Number 21?

“That’s me baby!” Dio cheered, leaping out of his seat and made his way to the stage, with everyone excluding Tayama applauding him. “Wooo! This is gonna be great!”

“Well I’m glad that you’re excited about your next mission!” Tressa smiled at the ringmaster. “Now for the second number, if you’ll please…”

“Right away, my lady!” Big Smoke replied, as he started spinning the wheel once more, only for a ball to pop out almost immediately. “Number 78, we got a number 78 here.”

“That’s my num—“ Tayama began, before he began staring daggers of hate at Dio. “I’m not working with that fucking asshole!”

Oh boy, two villains who hate each other’s guts have to work together on a mission. Why, I can smell in incoming hijinks a mile away.

Oh wait, I forgot to take the garbage out this morning. My bad.


“Yeah, I’m not working with that wife-stealer either!” Dio retorted, crossing his arms in a huff.

“Serra is my prize, and my prize only! I’m not letting some fucking cunt steal my prize away from me, just because he married her!” Tayama roared, storming up to the stage.

Really, does that first sentence sound intimidating at all? It makes the guy come across as a petulant brat as opposed to a calculating crime lord. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was what the author was planning all along.

“Hey fuck you! She married me, so I won her fair and square!” Dio snapped, clenching his right fist with the index finger pointing upwards, while his left hand was cupping his right elbow.

“I don’t care if you married her, I’m gonna take her, and she will be mine!” Tayama bellowed, as the two men got up in each other’s faces and snarled at each other, before a loud bang snapped the two men out of their rage-induced stupor.

“Thank you…” Tressa began, putting her shotgun back on the table.

Giving Tressa a shotgun is like jumping out a helicopter after drinking a hemlock chaser; redundantly deadly.

“Anyway, Big Smoke will inform you of your mission.” The two men then proceeded to walk over to Big Smoke and receive the details of the mission from him.

“Alright chaps, our mission is to spy on an agent of the Fangame Committee, who funnily enough, is that Serra lady who you’ve been fighting over.” Big Smoke began to explain.

“R-Really?!” Tayama and Dio leant in closer to Big Smoke, before they began growling at each other once more.

At this point, I’m willing to believe that these two bozos are the author’s pets, wearing a nametag on their collars.

“Now, now. There’s no need to fight; we’re all comrades in the Divine Powers.” Big Smoke attempted to break them up. “Besides, Serra will be on a date with her new boyfriend.”

“B-Boyfriend?!” Dio exclaimed, a look of shock and fury plastered on his face. “T-That two-timing whore!”

“Wow, I can really feel your love for her…” Tayama sneered at the ringmaster in a passive-aggressive manner.

“Oh fuck off with that shit! You have no right to judge me, Mr. ‘she’s my prize’! Get off your high horse you stuffy old fart!” Dio retorted.

“Keep your snide comments to yourself! Besides, I’m just as pissed about Serra having a boyfriend as you are.” Tayama replied.

Now you both know how I feel after reading about how Scarlett was taken…

“Loathe as I am to say this, we should work together to deal with that punk once and for all!”

“For once, you said something I agree with.” Dio smirked, tipping his top hat.

“Anyway, our intel suggests that the two of them are going to be visiting the local carnival. We are to stalk them from the shadows, and find out what the Committee’s next move will be.” Big Smoke finished explaining his orders. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir!” Tayama and Dio saluted their commanding officer.

“Good…” Big Smoke replied. “Now then, Lady Tressa has a daring plan to tell you all; one that was concocted by the legendary Octoguard itself!” The crowd began murmuring to themselves over this shocking revelation.

“T-The Octoguard themselves?! I-It must be some S-Grade plan then.” Pegasus whispered to another lieutenant.

“The Octoguard were able to defeat both the Atlantic Federation and the East Europan Imperial Alliance without breaking a sweat.

And another pair of factions get swept by this Octoguard. Who needs omniscient deities when you’ve got a ragtag bunch of adventurers?

This should mean that their plan will end in our favour.” Yasuke commented to himself, his intrigue sparked by the new idea.

“I’m glad you’re all excited. Now behold, the fruits of my Octoguard’s ingenious strategy!” Tressa boldly whipped the cloth off of a table, revealing a stack of what looked like extreme, violent, realistic pornography involving the characters from various Pokémon fangames, including Reborn, Rejuvenation, Desolation, Insurgence and many more.

“What the fuck is this shit?!” Dio hissed in anger. “Are you really using that bullshit strategy those sluts in the MS Waifu Army are using?!”

Apparently so…but hey, know we’ll know that it’ll actually go somewhere now.

“Whoa there, I’m not as stupid as those women; these are for psychological warfare against our enemy.” Tressa replied in a calm manner. “The purpose is to flood this porn onto the market, enabling it to spread like wildfire. This’ll have a mentally damaging effect on the enemy as they’ll feel like they’ve been reduced to objects. And once they break, they will pull their games from the market and become recluses, enabling me to flood the market with my own version of their fangames! And then I’ll become stinking rich, in both universes!” Tressa continued, chuckling ominously in a manner that terrified everyone else in the room.

COWER IN FEAR BEFORE THE SMOL MERCHANT GIRL! DO IT, NOW!!

“I-It’s a good plan now that I think about it…” Dio recanted his earlier statement.

“Good, I’m glad that you see it now. Now chop-chop! You’ve got a mission to do!” Tressa replied, as Big Smoke, Tayama and Dio bowed before her, before proceeding to exit the auditorium.

The Carnival: Shinjuku

The night was filled with a vast array of lights from the yearly carnival. The sound of children and parents enjoying themselves add to the overall light-hearted atmosphere of the carnival. An SUV rocked up to the park and rested in a spot that was quite close to the carnival entrance, as two people hopped out of it.

“Ah, so this is that carnival you mentioned earlier today.” Roland commented to his partner, the blonde man dressed up in his usual attire, as he soon started shivering to himself. “Brrrrrrrrr! I guess I should’ve brought a jacket with me.”

From a 5* restaurant, to a simple carnival. I’ll give Roland a point for creativity, but it’s still a sizable downgrade from the other place.

“I’d loan you mine, but I don’t think it’ll fit you.” Serra replied, giggling to herself over Roland’s simple mistake. Her glamorous outfit was perfectly suited for the cold night, as it consisted of a bright red jacket that was worn over a light blue shirt, her favorite pair of skinny jeans that showed off her wonderful legs, and a pair of light blue loafers.

“It’s the same outfit as she usually wears, but she’s got a jacket over it, therefore its all the more glamorous and pretty and fap, fap, fap…”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. But thanks for the offer. And err…for going out with me.” Roland said, as the two of them got into the line and started waiting.

“Not a problem, Roland! Besides, I love our time together.” Serra replied, as they made their way to the front of the line, as Roland paid for both their admission passes. They entered the carnival and began plotting out their route via the map, unaware that they were being watched by a trio of ominous figures in hooded cloaks, spying on them from behind a bush.

I propose we get our own hooded cloaks; makes for perfect attire when mocking fanfictions.

The three figures lowered their hoods and brought their binoculars out, to get a better look at the duo.

“Huh, they’re a little earlier than I anticipated. No matter, it shouldn’t affect the plan too much…” Big Smoke informed his two companions, noticing the mask of fury that was plastered on Dio’s face.

“So that’s the little cocksucker who’s trying to take my wife. Wait ‘til I get my hands on—“ Dio began growling to himself, only for his glare to intensify upon looking at Tayama. “Are you staring at my wife’s ass?!”

Please, who wouldn’t stare at her ass? I know I would.

“Yes.” Tayama admitted, not breaking his perverted gaze away from Serra. “And she’s not your wife; she’s my prize.”

“Oh that’s it!” Dio snapped, tackling Tayama to the ground and launched a barrage of punches at the older man, who bellowed and started punching back in response. Big Smoke sighed to himself and began slinking away from the area so as to not get busted by security, as both Roland and Serra had finished planning out their route for the night and began walking to the game stalls.

Ooh, games. I loved carnival games when I was younger. Of course, I wasn’t good at them, but who is in this day and age?

“So Serra, when did you and Radomus first meet each other?” Roland inquired.

“Quite a while ago, to be honest. Ame figured that it’ll be a wise idea for the developers to get to know one another before work on the game would begin. So I started chatting to Radomus, and was surprised to see that we were in the same boat; both of us had lost our loved ones, though in different manners, and both of us had hired Luna for some housework.” Serra explained, recalling the pleasant memories of their first meeting.

And now you know why the fans started shipping them together. But I’m sure the author has things all worked out so that everyone (mainly him) benefits.

“Housework, you mean Luna had a job before she helped develop Reborn?” Roland pressed further.

“Yes, as a housemaid. I gotta say she was quite good at it; not only was she fast and effective, but she looked pretty great in her uniform. No wonder Bennett fell head-over-heels in love with her.” Serra chuckled lightly, as they soon arrived at the game stalls and were surprised by the sheer variety of them.

Yes, Luna does look good in a maid outfit. Word of mouth is that Luna is meant to be older than her sprite depicts her as, meaning that I won’t go to jail for eyeing her up.

It was then that Roland managed to see what looked like a one-of-a-kind chess-set where the pieces and the board itself was decorated in various precious metals.

Bullshit! You never see shit that valuable being offered as a carnival prize.

“I think I know what my apology gift’s gonna be.” Roland smirked to himself, eyeing up the tantalising prize.

“Apology gift?” Serra inquired.

“I still feel bad about raising my voice at Radomus the other day, so I figured I should bring him a prize as a token of apology.” Roland answered, as he started scrounging his pockets for some loose change.

“I raised my voice at this guy for a few seconds. Let me gift him a million-dollar chess set as an apology gift.”

If that’s how this author works, then I can expect my apology gift to be god-tier.


“That’s awfully sweet of you, but I’m sure he’ll forgive you for your earlier slight, whether or not you gift him anything.” Serra replied.

“That’s true, but I figured that I may as well have a try anyway. Besides it doesn’t look that hard, I just need to get the ball through the clown’s mouth.” Roland insisted, as he paid for the game and picked up the ball, carefully aiming at the hole on the wooden prop. He channelled his energy into his swing and threw the ball, as it shot through the hole at alarming speeds, which surprised the stall vendor.

“Well I’ll be damned! I’ve never seen a throw that powerful before.” The vendor whistled in awe, as he got the chess-set and handed it over to Roland. “You more than earned this.”

He’s a gentleman, plays carnival games really well, and is an avid fangame fan. You’d have to be crazy to swipe left on this guy.

“Thank you very much.” Roland thanked the man, before turning to Serra. “Is there any of the stalls you would like to try out?”

“As a matter of fact, there is.” Serra replied, as she pointed to a stall a few feet away. “You see that one over there? I’m pretty confident that I can win that game.”

“Alright then.” Roland accepted, as the duo went over to the stall and saw that the game consisted of several metal plates in the shape of fish on the bottom of a sizable pool of water. “So how do you play this game?”

“The gist of this game is that you have to fish up the plates with a fishing rod that’s supplied to you, though you only get three attempts per game. Each of those plates has a different number on them, representing the amount of tickets that fish is worth. The smaller the fish, the higher the number. Once you’ve used up all your attempts, you bring the fish to the vendor, who’ll add up the numbers, and hand you a slip of paper with the combined total that you fished up; that’s how many tickets you currently have. Whether you bank them for a later time, or you spend them right away is up to you.” Serra went over the rules, as she paid for her game and was given a fishing rod to use.

I was never good at the game she’s talking about. Like this one time I snagged something really good, only for some other kid to snatch it away with his rod. Guess that explains why I haven’t been to a carnival in ages.

With a quick flick of the wrist she cast the line into the water and moved it around slowly, hoping to catch a fish. A small smirk appeared on her face as she heard the sound of the magnet on the fishing hook catch something. She reeled it up to see what her catch was, only for her smirk to disappear when she saw that the fish was quite big.

“So how many tickets is that one worth?” Roland inquired, as Serra took a few napkins out of her jacket pocket and wiped the middle of the plate.

“Only 25; barely enough for one of those rubber balls.” She answered, setting the plate aside and threw her line in a second time, and sifted the pool bottom in the hopes of getting lucky. A few seconds later, she struck paydirt and reeling the line in eagerly, only to scowl upon realising that she had picked up a metal plate of a crab.

“I take it that those aren’t worth very much.” Roland assumed.

“The crabs are worth zero tickets; in other words, a waste of a chance.” Serra replied, before sighed to herself. “At least I didn’t get an octopus, otherwise I would’ve lost some tickets.” She threw her line in one last time, and began searching the pool bottom for metal plates. Eventually, she managed to snag one and began lifting it out of the pool. After a few seconds of reeling in, Serra had received her prize, a confident smile on her face as Roland was shocked by what he’s seeing.

“L-Look at all the small fish you managed to score!” Roland exclaimed in awe, as Serra placed the fish on the pile.

Oh, piss off! What did she put on her damn rod to net so many fish?!

“See, I told you I’d win this game.” Serra smiled gracefully, as she took the fish over to the vendor, who was just as shocked as Roland was upon seeing her catch.

“M-My goodness, that’s quite a haul you got there. This’ll take a minute or so…” the vendor commented, taking the pile of plates as they got out a calculator and began adding up all the numbers, an astonished look appearing on their face once they finished adding up all the numbers. “20,000 tickets for you, you lucky lady!”

“Thank you.” Serra accepted the paper slip, as she and Roland decided to visit the prize shop to see if there were anything that caught their eye. As one would expect, there was a wide variety of prizes, ranging from simple rubber toys to high quality plush dolls. “Is there anything that interests you?”

Why ask her? She can buy out the damn stall with all her tickets!

“There is, but I wanna try and win it myself. After we’re done getting what you want anyway.” Roland replied, as Serra had finished choosing what she wanted to get. She settled on getting four 4,000-ticket plush dolls; one for Bennett, one for Luna, one for Anna and the other for Noel. She decided to bank the rest in the off-chance that there was another ticket shop with a different range of prizes. “You need a hand carrying them?” Roland inquired, as the vendor helped put the dolls into a bag.

“I’m good, but thanks for the offer.” Serra smiled at the young man. “Now let’s see if any of my luck has rubbed off onto you.”

“Alright then!” Roland grinned, as he paid for his game and was given a fishing rod. With a flick of a wrist he cast his line into the water, and smirked when he immediately got something on the line. He eagerly reeled it up, only to sigh in disappointment when he saw the crab on his line.

To be fair, this author manages to capture the sheer disappointment that carnival games bestow upon the player.

“Oh my…well you’ve still got two chances at the very least.” Serra looked at the bright side. Roland’s mood had picked up a little bit, as he set the crab aside and flicked the rod into the water. He sifted the pool bottom for a while, and managed to catch something. He reeled up his line once more, a satisfied smirk appearing on his face when he saw the fish that he caught.

“Well I’ll be, you landed a 5,000-ticket fish. Congratulations.” Serra smiled at Roland, who was filled with a sense of accomplishment. Removing the fish from the hook, he cast his line in one last time and began sifting the pool bottom once more. Soon enough, he snagged something and began reeling it in eagerly, only for his jaw to drop when he saw that his prize was an octopus.

“Oh, that’s a shame.” Serra offered her condolences, as she took the octopus off the hook and looked at it for a moment. “Sorry hun, but you’re going home empty.”

“E-Empty?!” Roland exclaimed, as he leant over and saw that the octopus had a -5,000 on it’s surface. “Oh, man!”

“Don’t worry, there’s always another time.” Serra consoled the young man over his loss, resting her hand on his shoulder, as her watch started buzzing. “Oh my, is it time for the fireworks already? Not to worry, I’ve got the perfect spot where we can watch them from.”

Carnival games, fireworks, this joint has it all. Except for the food through; wonder if that was a creative decision.

“Nice, lead the way then.” Roland replied, as Serra took his hand and the two began walking, unaware that the trio of hooded figures were following closely behind. After a few minutes of walking, the duo had stopped at a small park adjacent to the pond that had a great view of the night sky. The three hooded figures were watching the duo from a bush atop a hill, gazing at the couple as they cuddled up to each other besides the tree.

“I’ve had a great night so far.” Serra sighed blissfully, as Roland wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to him.

“Same here; I’m still a bit upset over that fishing game, but such is the nature of carnival games.” Roland replied, as the fireworks show soon began. One by one, a barrage of fireworks shot up into the sky and exploded into a series of patterns, ranging from birds to farm animals, to even a few shapes such as stars and squares. Serra and Roland looked into each other’s eyes, before they proceeded to kiss each on the lips passionately, as they both cuddled each other into a warm embrace.

It’s safe to assume that the author is kissing his soiled sock puppet, imagining this scene to be real life.

“Ah, young love. Ain’t a sight sweeter than that…” Big Smoke sighed wistfully to himself, as he was spying on the two lovers. Dio on the other hand, was absolutely livid. Not only had Tayama bruised and bloodied his handsome face, but Roland was kissing his wife. Still he knew that going up to them would compromise the mission, and opted to bide his time.

“Hehehe, I’ll get you eventually you bastard. And when I do, I’ll—wait, where the fuck is Tayama?!” Dio began, before he was surprised by the disappearance of his partner. He peeped through the binoculars, and was outraged to see Tayama walking up to the couple by the tree. “That incomprehensible fuckwit!”

What’s this, is it already Idiot-Villain o’clock?

A few seconds later, both Roland and Serra had broken their kiss off and gazed at each. “I have to say, that was better than I expected. You really know how to kiss a lady.” Serra complimented the young man.

“Ah come on, you know I’d do anything to make you feel special.” Roland replied cheekily, causing Serra to chuckle lightly. All of a sudden they heard footsteps coming from behind and turned around to see who was responsible.

“Ah, I hope I didn’t disturb up. I am Tayama, and the pleasure is all mine, Serra.” Tayama introduced himself, straightening out his suit jacket. However both Serra and Roland eyed him with suspicion.

“W-Why are you here Tayama?” Roland inquired, crossing his arms.

“W-Well I-I was just g-going t-to…” Tayama began to stutter, beads of sweat pouring down his face, before he soon lunged at Roland and started shaking the young man. “G-Give her to me! Give her back! Give her now! I need my Serra!” he started rambling in a complete daze.

Ah, this must be how the author acts when he sees someone else shipping themselves with Serra…

“Another deranged fanboy, how wonderful…” Serra sighed in annoyance, before looking directly at the desperate man. “Look, Tayama, was it? I’m already on a date with my boyfriend, and I don’t appreciate you barging into our quiet moment together. So do you mind if you left us alone?” She requested.

“B-Boyfriend?!” Tayama spluttered, releasing his grasp on Roland. “W-Why would you date him over me?!” the bespectacled man asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

Easy, you’re an unsubtle slimeball that was created, solely to show the villainous side of Order in SMT IV

“Because he’s much more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be; I heard that you were eyeing up Shelly during that meeting between our organisations a while ago, and I’m not into men who lust after young girls and tries to indoctrinate me and my friends into his harem.” Serra retorted coolly, resting her hands on her hips.

“Y-You and your friends will become a part of my harem! I will show you the sort of pleasure that so many women dream about, yet so few will ever get to experience. I will make you and your friends mine, and mine alone!” Tayama angrily declared, only to get slapped by Serra, causing the man to step back a few feet.

Smooth moves, mate.

“You can take your little harem and buzz off! You’re just as bad as those men who used me all those years ago, seeing me as a means to an end. Well enough is enough! I’m gonna stay here with Roland, while you can crawl back to whatever cesspit you emerged from!” Serra snapped, as the now frightened Tayama ran away from the area. “Sorry about that Roland, I have no patience for people like him.”

The guy’s a crime lord yet decided to confront the heroes on his own. I’d wonder why, but then I remembered who was writing this dreck.

“No need to apologise; as a matter of fact, it was kinda cool to see you put him in his place.” Roland smiled at her. “Did you ever get people like him pestering you while you were a model?”

“Well yeah, but none of them were as bad as him.” Serra answered, as she checked the time. “Oh my, we better get back to base. Come on Roland, we better get going before that creep decides to bother us again.”

“Alright sweetie, let’s go!” Roland replied, with Serra smiling upon hearing his compliment. The duo proceeded to make their way back to the SUV, unaware that Tayama was getting his just desserts at the hands of Big Smoke.

“What on earth were you thinking?!” Big Smoke snapped at him, his face caked in anger as Dio was smirking at Tayama’s detriment.

He wasn’t thinking, at all.

“I-I-I-I can explain…I-I needed her that badly!” Tayama stammered, sweat pouring down his face. Big Smoke leant in towards Tayama, the heavyset man eerily quiet.

“ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SPY ON THE DAMN COUPLE, TAYAMA!” Big Smoke boomed so loudly that it frightened the birds that were resting in the nearby trees. “Rest assured, Lady Tressa will hear about this slip-up from you.”

Well now we know why Tressa keeps him around, his screams are just as frightening.

“P-Please have mercy sir! I-I’ll be a good boy!” Tayama got on his knees and begged, causing Dio to start laughing like crazy at his pitiful display. Big Smoke crossed his arms and sighed to himself.

“Very well, I’ll let you go this time, only because Lady Tressa is busy negotiating with our latest ally, and I don’t want to put too much on her plate at the moment.” Big Smoke conceded as Tayama breathed a sigh of relief, much to Dio’s annoyance.

“Oh thank goodness…” Tayama muttered under his breath.

“Weak.” Dio snarked, shrugging his shoulders. “Wait, what’s this about a new ally?”

Oh my, who did the author throw in as a villain this time?

“I’ll explain as we head back to base.” Big Smoke replied, as the three men pull up their hoods and proceeded to leave the area.

???

Tressa Colzione sighed in content as she stretched her arms and looked around the area. It was quite lavish, and was decorated with various awards that the games the company had published and produced won, and there were a whole lot of awards. She had been given a tour by the security there, as they were informed about her reason for being here. Soon enough, the door opened and a voice gestured for her to come in. Tressa soon entered the lavish office, and was surprised at just how lavish it was. Between the mahogany furniture in the room, the expensive Turkish carpet on the floor, and the various relics and trophies decorating the room, it was obvious that the owner was very well off.

Ah yes, another villain of the “rich jerk” variety. Gotta get those donations somehow.

“Come, sit by my desk.” The man sitting behind his desk welcomed Tressa, as she made her way to him and sat down on the luxurious chair.

“I thank you for allowing me to discuss a few things with you, Mario.” Tressa began negotiations, tipping her hat courteously.

“Not a problem, if anything I should be thanking you for helping me with this latest issue I’m facing.” Mario replied. With his short brown hair that was combed over, his thick brown mustache, and his black Armani suit, he definitely looked the role of a successful businessman. “As the CEO of Nintendo, I have to do everything in my power to maintain my company’s success.”

Oh, you opted to make Nintendo villains of this fic, using Mario as the punching bag. To be honest I expected this to happen, though not as late as Chapter 24.

“It’s sickening how those fangames steal your product, and use it to create their own propaganda.” Tressa commented.

“Exactly; not only are they causing sales of my Pokémon games to drop, but they’re not even making a cent off of it, adding insult to injury!” Mario exclaimed angrily, slamming his gloved fist on his desk.

If they did sell their games for profit, then you can just order a C&D on them. You know, like you did with a few other fangames, as mentioned earlier in the fic.

“These thieves have been criticising us from day one, yet they don’t realise that their ideas to “improve” the core game would scare away thousands of potential customers!”

“I tried telling them that several times, but they fired me for my efforts. I guess their overly morbid wankfests were that important to them…” Tressa added with a hint of bitterness in her tone, scratching the side of her leg.

“It’s ridiculous! I’ve seen overviews of their stories, and it’s the most depressing source of ego-stroking that I’ve ever seen. That trickster Ame has the audacity to insert her and her league of followers as important characters in their games. I would’ve gotten called out for it if I inserted myself into Pokémon Ultra-Sun and Ultra-Moon, so why is it ok when SHE does it?!” Mario protested angrily.

To be fair, seeing Mario in a Pokémon game would raise a few eyebrows. That said, I can tell this is gonna be the same strawman arguments the villains spout all the time.

“Who knows why; perhaps they fell for her underdog sob-story bullshit.” Tressa suggested a possible answer. “I can look past the story for the most part, but the difficulty is another thing; the game caters to the elitist circlejerk that go out of their way to ruin things for the casual players. It’s downright sickening!”

“I know; I’ve seen the sort of challenges they impose on the player, and it’s downright unfair. Between the lack of funds, lack of Pokémon, overly complicated maps and puzzles, and the fact that you have to go against full teams with competitive movesets, it’s a wonder anyone has passed the first gym battle.” Mario listed off his grievances with the games. “And don’t get me started on those fucking field effects; they took a concept that I made, and corrupted it into some cheap series of unfair boosts to the gym leaders, and they are unfair boosts.”

The only real aspect of difficulty regarding the field effects is remembering all the changes each one implements; it’s more than just a bunch of boosts.

“Tell me about it…” Tressa replied. “The worst thing is that there’s so many of them. Just how the fuck did so many of them appear in such a short span of time?!”

“Yeah, these fucking fangames are as annoying as a swarm of locusts.” Mario agreed with the young lady, as he looked to his sides before leaning in closer to her. “Between you and me, I think I know what agenda these games are trying to peddle.”

Oh boy, I can tell this is gonna be good…

“Oh really, and what is this agenda you think they’re pushing?” Tressa inquired, curious about the CEO’s statement.

“These games are trying to destroy my company with subliminal messages!” Mario answered. “Think about it, these games advertise themselves to be as cool as that bastard Sonic, with their characters, their villains and their cool cities. Not only do the self-insert leaders get so much praised dumped onto them, but they take several jabs at my games, by claiming that it’s full of weaklings. It’s character assassination of the highest order, and it’s fucking disgusting.”

Well…he’s not 100% incorrect. Sure, there are a few moments where the games lionize their home regions, but what Pokémon game doesn’t do that?

“That’s a pretty accurate analysis if I say so myself.” Tressa admitted. “So, Mario, will you fight alongside the Divine Powers in eliminating these fangames?”

“Absolutely! You have my undying loyalty, and support. Trust me when I tell you that my support is worth more than its weight in gold.” Mario agreed, as they two of them shook hands with each other.

“Thank you for offering to assist us; rest assured, these fangames shall be destroyed once and for all.” Tressa pledged to the CEO, as she bowed courteously to him before leaving the office.

Well with Nintendo on board with Tressa Colzione’s Bizarre Adventure, this chapter comes to a close. I wanted to get this chapter up a week earlier, but I got caught up in job applications and the like. That said, the next chapter contains a duel, which’ll add another layer of suck to this story.

Wow, I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you? Overall this chapter was quite the success, between solidifying Serra and Roland’s relationship, and powering up the villains. Rest assured, they’ll suffer a major blow in the next chapter, which will contain a duel for you all to enjoy. See you all next time!

Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin stolen)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Noel
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah/Jonathan
Gaston

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer/Walter

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Tressa Colzione/The Matriarch
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Johnny Klebitz
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Yasuke Matsuda
Yuuto Akimaya

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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GorillaGamer
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Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy

Post by GorillaGamer » Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:56 am

Well after that meaningless chapter, what better way to wash the foul taste out then with a duel? Reading a better fic? Well yeah that’s true, but I’m unable to at this point.

Welcome back everyone, to the next thrilling instalment of Yugioh: The Divine Conspiracy! Oh boy, have I got the treat for you. It’s got plenty of exciting content for you all to enjoy while you’re eating dinner, or reading something in your bed.

Who on earth would read fanfiction while eating dinner, much less this thing?

But that’s not all, I have an idea for the next chapter that’ll rock your socks off, though that’ll have to wait until the end of this chapter. So without further ado, let’s get ready to rock!

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this fic. They’re the property of their respective creators.

Note: Any made-up cards/skills will be underlined, and will get their effects explained in their introductory chapters.


Chapter 25: The Gorgon’s Terrifying Gaze!

Pokémon Fangame Headquarters: The next morning

The sun shone brightly into Roland’s room, the bright beam of light shining directly on his face, causing the young man to moan to himself as he wearily rose from his slumber. As he proceeded to get dressed for the day, he began recalling the events that occurred last night, namely when Serra referred to him as her boyfriend during the confrontation with Tayama.

She took pity on the poor sap; that’s my theory.

‘Does she consider me worthy enough to be her boyfriend, or was she saying that to have Tayama leave her alone?’ Roland mused to himself as he had finished getting ready and proceeded to make his way to the cafeteria. Upon arriving there, he noticed that there weren’t as many people there as usual, perhaps because they were sleeping in today.

That, or it wasn’t their turn to spout four sentences of nonsense before getting shoved back into the closet.

He noticed that Serra was quietly sipping some home-made tea by herself and opted to walk up to her.

“H-Hey there.” Roland greeted the graceful woman, who turned to face him. “You mind if I sit beside you?”

“Not at all.” Serra replied, gesturing him to sit beside her, which he did. “So, is there anything you wanted to talk about?”

“Well…I wanted to ask you something…that comment you said last night about me being your boyfriend; did you really mean that, or were you hoping to have that man leave you alone?” Roland inquired.

“A little in column A, and a little in column B.” Serra answered. “I had hoped that he would’ve left us alone, but that wasn’t the case with that man.”

Well at least she was honest.

“That explains—” Roland began, as he did a double take upon realising what she had said. “Y-You really consider me worthy enough to be your boyfriend?”

“Of course, silly! You’re the nicest guy that I’ve ever been with; you take what I say into consideration, and you’ve even cleaned up your act around Melia.” Serra giggled politely.

That’s a good girl; shower the skinsuit with undeserved praise. It’s the only reason he writes this thing to begin with.

“Uh…how did you know about how I acted around Melia?” Roland inquired, a look of embarrassment on his face as his cheeks blushed brightly.

“She informed me of what happened at the rally, back when the Divine Powers first waged war against us. She found your behaviour quite humorous, if a little creepy. I can even remember the look on your face when you first saw me.” Serra explained, recalling the goofy yet creepy expression on Roland’s face.

Yes, that face he made in order to imitate a wolf slobbering over a baby lamb. I’m surprised you even gave him the time of day after that pitiful display.

“Sorry about that, I had let my hormones get the better of me.” Roland apologised. “That said, would you have any problems if we went out for the night, sometime in the future?”

“I’d love to go out with you; however, the next couple weeks are gonna be a bit hectic from the look of things, so it might take a while.” Serra accepted the offer.

“Wonderful!” Roland smiled, stretching his arms. “That said, how do you know we’re gonna be busy for the next few weeks?”

“Ame notified me about our schedule as I was getting my tea ready. She said something about a—” Serra began, only for her phone to start buzzing. “Well I guess she beat me to the punch; come on Roland, we’ve got a meeting to attend.”

“Didn’t we just have one yesterday?”

“Yes, but it’s the only thing a game studio does according to the author.”


“R-Right!” Roland replied quickly, as the duo made their way to where the meeting was being held.

0000

Everyone began to whisper among each other regarding what the meeting will be about. It was unusually rare for everyone to receive a message requiring their presence in a meeting, much less having said meeting take place in the lecture hall. On the front stage, the audience saw Ame, Melia, Shiv and Garret sit alongside General Nikita, who was busy checking over a few folders in her possession.

“I’d like to thank you all for attending this urgent meeting, as we’ve got some serious news, we need to tell you all!” Ame thanked her fellow developers. “It seems that Krishna was able to successfully recruit the CEO of Nintendo to his cause. This is bad news as he now has the entirety of the mainstream gaming media under his thumb.”

Good. Perhaps I can convince him to fix the story for Danganronpa 3; man was that a letdown.

“W-What about the independent developers like us, what’s gonna happen?” Venam inquired, looking at Melia for an answer.

“It’s not gonna end well for us; several independent studios have already been destroyed or assimilated into the Divine Powers. If Krishna gains complete control over the entire gaming media, then he’ll be able to mass-brainwash everyone into joining his cult.” Melia answered, as concerned looks appeared on the audiences faces. “Our only hope is if we can reclaim the six Relics of Reborn that were stolen from us.”

In Reborn, the jewellery were the keys to the supposed birth place of Arceus, hence why the villains desperately wanted them. Here, they’re glorified MacGuffins with no purpose whatsoever asides from looking pretty.

“But where will we be able to find them? I’d suspect that the Divine Powers would keep them locked up inside their temple somewhere.” Sothe commented. “I would’ve checked while I was infiltrating the base, but I got compromised and had to escape.”

“Luckily for you all, you’ve got me to help you out!” Nikita declared boldly, standing up off her chair and puffing her chest out. “I’ve had my recon agents do a background check on these Relics, and they reported that they’re in the hands of the Divine Vanguard, an elite squadron of deities that serve as Krishna’s main agents. All six of them have set up domains within Tokyo and are keeping watch over a Relic. However, that was all the intel they were able to get, so how you use it is up to you.”

Ok, why keep them away from their most heavily fortified base? After all, you’re relying on the deities not getting their ass handed to them in card games.

“As a matter of fact, we’ve got the perfect way to use it.” Shiv replied, as he soon directed his attention to Anna. “You’ve got a special connection to these Relic’s, don’t you?”

“Well, Nostra’s the one who has the special connection, but I’m sure she’s more than willing to help us.” Anna answered, holding up her Jirachi doll to her ear.

“A-Are you sure that’s going to help us?” Noel inquired, eyeing up his sister curiously.

“Of course, it will! Nomos thinks so as well.” Anna chirped, referring to Noel’s Cleffa doll. Suddenly, the young girl was struck with a source of inspiration. “I’ve got it! Nostra just told me that the Pearl Hairpin’s nearby, at the Sky Tower near Kinshicho.”

Yeah, Anna can talk to her doll in order to gain useful information in Reborn. Don’t know how it works, but if it works, then who am I to complain.

“M-My hairpin? In that case, I better go get it back!” Aya declared.

“Don’t forget about me, Aya. Safety in numbers and all that.” Hardy volunteered as well.

“Heh, I wish I got volunteers that easily.” Garret chuckled, crossing his arms. “But the two of you would need to bring a duellist along, just in case this Divine Vanguard is packing some cards in their arsenal.”

At least he knows what to do in this batshit insane universe.

“In that case, I’ll throw my hat into the ring!” Blair stood up and declared. “I wanna prove to the Hunter Association that we don’t need that stuffy ol’ Gaston helping us.”

“Fine by me. Just make sure my brother comes back in one piece.” Titania commented, respecting the young girl’s determination.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want anything horrible to happen to my big sister as well.” Cain chimed in.

“No need to worry; I’ll emerge victorious and bring back that fancy hairpin.” Blair reassured the duo, flashing them a toothy grin.

“Very well then, it seems that we’ve got a game plan at the very least. The three of you may be excused, we’ll inform you on what we talked about when you get back.” Ame dismissed them, as Aya, Hardy and Blair got up and exited the lecture hall.

Sky Tower: Near Kinshicho: a few hours later

The group of three had made their way to the imposing tower and were taken aback by just how tall it was. Standing at around several kilometres tall, it was no wonder many people believed it to be the stairway to heaven from which the angels descended from.

“My, my, this definitely beats the Sky Tower back in Blackview City in terms of grandeur.” Aya commented, impressed by the size of the mammoth structure.

“There’s a second Sky Tower?” Blair inquired.

Three, if you count the Mystery Dungeon one. Though I doubt the imbecile who wrote this even knows about those games.

“Yeah, in Blackview City. I know about the place since it was where Richard and Scarlett went on their first date together. That and I had a gig there a while ago.” Hardy explained. “It’s a nice place and all but I still prefer my hometown.”

“I see…” Blair commented, as the trio proceeded to enter the large building. The area was a complete mess, with rubbish and debris littering the area. Luckily the stairs were still in useable condition. “By the way, how did you two get together?” Blair asked Aya as the trio started to walk up the stairs.

“It’s quite the long tale. It all started a decade ago when Corey’s wife had passed away during childbirth, meaning he had to juggle his duties as a Gym Leader and taking care of Heather. However, a couple years ago it got to the point where he couldn’t fulfil his role as a Gym Leader and sent in a resignation notice.

Well at least it was a lot cleaner than jumping off a bridge after getting exposed as an agent of Team Meteor.

As I was the Reserve Poison-Type Leader, I was asked to take the job. I’m not gonna lie, I hated the idea to begin with. Within my first day as Gym Leader, I lost to five trainers, including that stuck-up bastard Fern. Oh man was he the worst; he complained about me being cheap since I prefer Double Battles over Singles and I defeated him, only for him to defeat me in our rematch and called me a pushover.” Aya began recalling her story.

“Yeesh, this Fern character sounded like a piece of work even before his betrayal.” Blair commented.

Even in this universe, Fern will always be a little bitch.

“Trust me, he’s a lot worse than I’m making him out to be. Anyway, it was after that incident that Alice showed up for her Gym Battle against me. Shortly afterwards, Hardy arrived with the intention to help the ‘new kid in the club’, as he aptly put it.” Aya continued.

“Well I had some free time on my hand, so I figured it was the right thing to do.” Hardy chimed in, as he and Aya held each other’s hand tightly.

“Now as I was saying, Fern was talking trash as usual, when Alice offered to put him in his place. I didn’t see the battle as I was busy healing my Pokémon, but I assumed that Alice had won, based on the sour expression on Fern’s face. Anyway, the two of us got to battle each other and as you would expect from the champion’s daughter, she swept me without breaking a sweat. I broke down into a rant about how I never wanted the job, and how I wished my brother got it instead, only for Hardy and Alice to console me and tell me that everything was going to be alright following that day, Hardy had helped me out here and there; one thing lead to another and we started dating shortly after that.” Aya concluded her story.

This fic honestly baffles me; on one hand the author is more than willing to write detailed stories surrounding the objects of his affection, hence the acceptable quality of his Rejuvenation fic. But on the other hand, he ruins it by throwing in shit from Yugioh, Zero Escape and Shin Megami because he thinks its cool. I genuinely feel that the author can write a tolerable story around Reborn…just as long as he keeps his lust for Serra under check.

“That’s such a sweet story.” Blair smiled.

“Which reminds me, how did you and Chevalier get together?” Hardy inquired, a look of curiosity on his face.

“Well I guess it’s my turn to repay the favour.” Blair began, as she cleared her throat. “The two of us met at Duel Academy; a prestigious academy known for training some of the best duelists in the world. There are three dorms in the Academy, all of which were based on your skill. There was Slifer Red, which was the most rundown dormitory. Then there was Ra Yellow, which was the middle of the road dormitory. Finally, there was Obelisk Blue, which was the top of the line dormitory and had a lot of special luxuries for the students. Most students wound up in either Red or Yellow, since the lacked the connections that the Blue students had. However, all female students who attended the dorm were automatically sorted into Obelisk Blue, since it was the only dorm that had accommodations for female students. It was a nice offer, but I chilled out in Slifer Red as it was where all my friends were stationed. Anyway, I first met Chevalier the day after I first enrolled into the academy. He was sitting by himself and wore a Ra Yellow uniform, which was odd considering that he had the grades and the connections to warrant a spot in Obelisk Blue. Turns out that there wasn’t any room left, and he was demoted to Ra Yellow as a result.

Welp, sucks to be you Chevalier.

But from what he told me, that was only half the reason he was in Ra Yellow. See, Chevalier, much like his friend Astolfo, preferred wearing women’s clothes, which made him the subject to a lot of bullying, particularly from an older girl by the name of Missy. It got so bad that he had to be demoted for his own safety, as they feared the fallout that would ensue if they were to expel Missy.” Blair began.

What, is she the daughter of some crime lord or something? Why the hell was Duel Academy too scared to punish her?!

“T-That’s terrible…” Aya pitied the young man.

“It was, but I made sure that he wasn’t alone. After we met, I introduced him to all my friends. They were cool with him, but Chazz decided to be Chazz and goad Chevalier into dueling him.

Yep, that be Chazz alright.

He ended up regretting his actions soon enough, following a humiliating defeat. Anyway a few weeks later, the two of us were paired up in some sort of special tournament, where pairs of duelists had to battle against other tag teams. We blew the competition away, especially since Chevalier had his trusty Lightsworn cards with him.” Blair recalled the pleasant memories. “But the best part was when we got into the grand final and were up against Missy and her chief flunky. Missy started taunting us about how I was a shrimp and how Chevalier was a crossdresser. We weren’t in the mood to counter her taunts with words, so we decided to let our cards do the talking. We ended up winning in a spectacular manner, of course Missy started to whine about how we cheated, only to get told off by Chancellor Sheppard, who issued her a detention for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Oh, so they were willing to punish her, but they took their sweet time to do so.

Ever since that day, we hung out with each other a bit more, and here we are now.” Blair concluded her story.

“Woah, that’s pretty sweet.” Hardy commented as the trio had made it up the stairs and were horrified at what they saw. Scattered around the area were dozens of statues, all depicting humans with agonized looks on their faces, while they were in different stats of fear. Some looked to be pleading for mercy, while others were running for their lives, probably from whatever it was that turned them into stone. “W-What the hell is this?!” the young man exclaimed loudly.

The worlds edgiest art exhibition.

“Whoever did this to them clearly has some sick sense of artistic design; look at how all these statues are positioned. It’s as if these people are nothing more than props for whoever, or whatever did this to them.” Blair pointed out.

“Ugh! Let’s just find my hairpin and get out of this creepy-ass place.” Aya quickly suggested, as the ground started shaking beneath their feet. “W-What now?!”

“My, my. It seems like you were so eager to view my gallery, that you decided to break into my domain…” a chillingly sweet voiced echoed out to them, as a large but familiar demon slithered up to the trio, emerging from the shadows of the dimly-lit room.

“Medusa! I knew we’d meet again!” Blair boldly declared, pointing at the serpentine woman. “You’re gonna pay for turning all these innocent people into stone.”

And for kicking my ass in SMT IV…several times.

“Hahahahaha! How courageous of you. However I didn’t turn them into stone, I gave them the honor of being my works of art.” Medusa chortled. “Of course, I’ve yet to find one that’s worthy of bearing my latest prize…” she hissed, showing off the Pearl Hairpin that she kept in a small velvet box.

“T-That’s my hairpin; give it back, you vile temptress!” Aya demanded.

“Oh, it’s your hairpin? Then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I turned you into a statue…” Medusa hissed, eying you the young woman. “And what a work of art you’ll be.”

Sorry miss, the author already claimed dibs via his bullshit virtual reality sex tape.

“Look lady, I may be into rocks and all that, but Aya’s already pretty in my eyes, so there’s no need to be turning her into stone now.” Hardy interjected, with Aya blushing in response to the compliment.

“Besides, I’m gonna clean your clock in a duel and bring that hairpin back to its rightful owner!” Blair added, activating her duel disk.

“Very well, I’ll indulge your desire for a duel.” Medusa replied, as a duel disk made from stone and scales appeared on her wrist. “My deck contains the strongest and the most beautiful monsters of them all; you’ve got no chance of victory.”

Or, here’s a thought, why not turn them into stone for your art thingy? It’ll save us all a lot of time.

“We’ll see about that!” Blair retorted.

“Duel!” Both combatants declared, drawing their opening hand.

Blair: 4000

Medusa: 4000


“Since this is my domain, I get to go first, during which I’ll activate my skill Reptile’s Domain!” Medusa declared, as the area shook, and a massive swamp covered the area. There were several skeletal carcasses strewn about in the swamp, and the whole area reeked of decay. “My skill enables me to activate the new and improved Venom Swamp from outside my deck and enables me to summon Reptile monsters without the need of a tribute beforehand. Now I’ll summon Venom Snake in attack mode, and end with a card facedown.”

Venoms! I loved those reptilian pals when I was a kid. A shame they never did that much despite their infamously powerful boss monster. As for the skill it’s not the worst thing in the world, certainly not as bad as that Gadget bullshit from before.

Blair began studying her opponents’ field; it has been a while since she last saw Venom monsters in a duel and knew that they had one hell of a boss monster. But what troubled her was how Medusa bragged about her “new and improved” Venom Swamp. Did a recent buff make the card stronger? Regardless, she couldn’t sit around and do nothing. “I draw!” She declared and looked at her card. “Neat. I’ll set a monster facedown, and end with two cards facedown.”

“Cowering already? And I was so mesmerised with your bravado.” Medusa mocked the young girl. “I draw!”

“Perfect, I’ll activate my Solemn Wishes during your Standby Phase!” Blair called out, activating her facedown card.

Solemn Wishes, a fairly old card that offers a small lifepoint boost everytime the controller draws a card. Considering how modern day Vampires require lifepoint costs to activate their effects, this seems like an…interesting tech choice despite being somewhat bricky.

“A pitiful effort on your behalf. I’ll summon Reptilianne Scylla and have her destroy your facedown monster!” Medusa declared, as her newest monster charged at Blair’s facedown monster and destroyed it.

Look, I get that both Reptiliannes and Venoms revolve around lowering the ATK stat of enemy monsters as a means of control, but I don’t think it’s a wise choice to run both at the same time, especially with Venom Swamp in play.

“Pyramid Turtle’s effect activates. Thank you for the nice bonus.” Blair smirked, as her Vampire Red Baron emerged from her deck and stared down the sinister serpents.

“In that case, I’ll end my turn, enabling my Venom Swamp to activate it’s effect; Toxic Smog!” Medusa crooned, as the vampiric knight started a coughing fit, while her reptiles were safe from the poisonous air.

ATK (2400-1900)
DEF (1000-500)


Blair was surprised at the sudden developments; she expected the ATK drop, but the DEF drop came out of nowhere. Even more surprising was how Scylla wasn’t affected by the poisonous swamp, despite not being a Venom monster. This has to be a side-effect of the new Venom Swamp, and Blair was gonna find out.

“Y-Your swamp…” she began.

“Is a paradise? Why thank you. See, my new and improved Venom Swamp is toxic to everything except Reptile monsters. Each Venom Counter a monster obtains costs them 500 ATK & DEF, and if they get 5 counters they’re banished from the field!

Yep; the author buffed Venom Swamp in order to suit the villains confusing amalgamation of a deck. Mind you, I can kinda see the banishing effect on an updated version of the card; provided that Konami decides to buff Venoms, which is highly unlikely.

Such power is befitting a powerful and beautiful demon like me.” Medusa praised herself. “How will you defend yourself against my toxic paradise?”

“We’ll just have to see, my turn!” Blair called out as she drew her next card. “During my Standby Phase, Solemn Wishes activates, enabling me to gain 500LP!”

Blair: 4500

“Huh, an LP boost at the start of her turns. That’s pretty neat.” Aya commented.

“I’m sure it’s all part of some strategy to put that freaky snake-lady in her place.” Hardy added.

She gained a meager amount of lifepoints; truly, there’s nothing the enemy could do against such overpowered tactics!

“Oh I will, but some prepwork’s gotta happen first. I’ll play my Vampire Awakening to special summon Vampire’s Curse from my deck, during which it’s special ability activated, enabling him to gain 500ATK.” Blair began, as her newest monster emerged from her deck.

ATK (2000-2500)

“Now I’ll have Red Baron swat that pesky snake of yours away, followed by my Curse eliminating your Scylla!” Blair initiated her attack, as her creatures of the night descended onto the serpents and effortlessly crushed them. However as both vampires went back, a pair of eggs took the serpent’s place and began shaking on the spot.

Medusa: 2600

“D-Don’t tell me…” Blair sighed to herself upon realising the trap she fell into.

“An astute observation; Damage = Reptile enables me to bring out more of my masterpieces every time a Reptile is destroyed.” Medusa sneered, eying up her opponent. “Behold, my Reptilianne Viper, and Reptilianne Gardna!” The eggs cracked open, as a tortoise and a small snake slithered onto the battlefield.

“In that case, I’ll overlay my Red Baron and my Curse to XYZ Summon Al Dhampir – Vampire Sheridan and end my turn with a card facedown.” Blair concluded her turn, as her two monsters leapt into the portal, from which a tall, slender vampire in a white suit emerged, only to fall prey to the treacherous swamp.

Not the most amazing entrance in his career, I tell you what.

ATK (2600-2100)
DEF (1000-500)


“Was that all you could muster? Very well, it’s my turn.” Medusa drawled, drawing her card and gazed at it as a wicked grin appeared on her face. She had drawn the first piece of her undefeatable combo and was ready to play it. But first there’s the matter of that troublesome XYZ Monster on the field, and she had the perfect solution for it. “I’ll play my facedown Ojama Trio, granting you my art as a gift from me to you.”

Blair was taken by surprise as stuffed dolls of the infamous Ojama Trio appeared on her field. “T-Thank you…?”

Yes…why play that card in the first place?

“No need to thank me; especially after what I’m gonna do next. I’ll tune my Gardna to my Viper to Synchro Summon a real beauty. Behold, my Reptilianne Hydra!” Medusa boldly declared, as the two reptiles leapt into the air and combined with one another to become a frightening hydra that easily dwarfed Sheridan. “When Hydra is summoned, all monsters with 0ATK on your field are destroyed, and I get to draw a card for every unfortunate victim.”

“B-But that means—” Blair began, as she was interrupted by the Hydra spewing three globs of acid at the dolls, causing them to blow up and sent bits of shrapnel flying at Blair.

Blair: 3600

“So that was why she gave Blair those tokens!” Aya realised what Medusa was playing at. “Pretty clever, if a bit dirty.”

Is that even a legal move, or did the author pull some more bullshit out his ass? Lemme search that up.

*1 intense research session later*

What the fuck, it actually works like that. This duel’s full of weird, but meaningful tech choices.


“I’m sure Blair can still win this, after all her monster’s a lot cooler than that crawling catastrophe.” Hardy chimed in.

“Pffft, morons like you are incapable of understanding what true art is!” Medusa scoffed as she drew her cards, and from the grin that appeared on her face, she must’ve drawn some good cards. “Perfect, I’ll summon my Vennominon: The King of Poisonous Snakes in attack mode and equip my Hydra with Molting Escape!” the deity hissed, as a sinister humanoid snake emerged from the swamp and glared at the young girl opposite him. And

ATK (?-2000)

“Now my Hydra, destroy that pitiful Sheridan with your Reptilianne Hunger!” Medusa ordered, as the colossal creature slithered towards it’s prey, only to get repelled by Blair’s Negate Attack. Medusa was annoyed at the lucky save, but quickly regained her composure and ended her turn with a card facedown.

Right, is anyone gonna do anything about that homeless ‘and’ at the end? I’d adopt it, but I’m as broke as a feminist’s glass ceiling.

ATK (2100-1600)
DEF (500-0)


“Ok, time to compose myself. I draw!” Blair called out, drawing her next card and recovering LP with her Continuous Trap.

Blair: 4100

“I’ll activate Card of Demise, enabling me to draw five cards and add them to my hand!” Blair quickly drew her cards, replenishing her near empty hand. “Nice, I’ll play my Vampire Territory and summon Vampire Sorcerer. Then I’ll activate Vampire Territory and tribute my Sorcerer to summon Vampire Fraulein in attack mode!”

Blair: 3600

“Now for the fun part; I’ll have my Fraulein attack your Hydra, during which I’ll activate her effect, paying 1600 Lifepoints to have her gain 1600ATK.” Blair called out, wincing in pain from the blood payment.

Blair: 2000

ATK (600-2200)


“Nice try, but not good enough. Molting Escape prevents my Hydra from getting destroyed.” Medusa sneered, as the two combatants clashed with each other, only for Reptilianne Hydra to shed its skin and slither back to its owner, its shiny new coat granting it more power than before.

Medusa: 2500

Blair: 2100

ATK (2100-2400)


Fuck me…there’s a shitton of boosts in this chapter; probably over the legal limit in a few countries.

“In that case, I’ll have Sheridan attack your Hydra once more, while I’ll pay 900 Lifepoints to activate Fraulein’s ability once more.” Blair continued, only to wince in pain even louder than before.

Blair: 1200

ATK (1600-2500)


On her cue, the regal vampire dashed towards the Hydra and sank its teeth into its neck, causing the serpent to scream in pain before it was drained of its life and collapsed into the swamp, sinking down into the depths below. However, it meant that Vennominon gains a potent power boost.

Medusa: 2400

Blair: 1300

ATK (2000-2500)


“I’ll set three cards facedown, and end my turn…” Blair replied weakly, as she soon started panting to herself. Both Aya and Hardy had concerned expressions on their face; poor Blair was barely hanging on, while Medusa was barely fazed at all. That’s not mentioning the fact that her monsters kept getting weaker and weaker every turn.

ATK (1600-1100) DEF (0-0)

ATK (600-100) DEF (2000-1500)


“Y-You can do this Blair!” Aya voiced her support.

“Yeah, teach this snake lady how to really rock the field!” Hardy chimed in as well.

Ah, words of support from the bystanders. A duelists greatest weapon.

“Heheheheh, how nice of them to cheer you on despite the circumstances. But it’s time to add you all to my collection!” Medusa sneered, drawing her next card and looking at it. While it was the final piece to her invincible combo, from the look of things it wasn’t necessary. “Now my Vennominon, blast her Fraulein with Toxic Shot!”

The sinister serpent leered at the young vampire, as it aimed one of its snake fingers at her, and began blasting a large torrent of hot, toxic goo directly at her face.

Oh my.

However, a shield emerged from the ground and drained the incoming attack, catching the gorgon off guard.

“Hah…how’d you like my Draining Shield?” Blair quipped, as a refreshing feeling course through her body.

Blair: 3800

“But that’s not the only trick I’ve got up my sleeve. I activate my Raigeki Break to destroy that disgusting swamp of yours!” Blair continued.

“Say what?!” Medusa shrieked, as her Venom Swamp disintegrated all around her. “M-My beautiful swamp!”

Damn, sorry ‘bout that snake lady.

“Alright, way to stick it to that freak!” Hardy cheered, as a look of pure loathing appeared on the gorgon’s face.

“You insolent brats! How dare you ruin my perfect landscape; I’ll kill you!” Medusa hissed in anger. “From my hand, I activate Offerings to the Doomed to destroy my Vennominon!”

“Hah, way to destroy your own monster!” Aya taunted, only to see that Blair had a look of fear plastered on her face. “W-What’s the matter?”

Not bad, but Offering to the Snake Deity would’ve been a better choice, if only because it destroys your opponents’ stuff as well. Heck, it was designed to sack your Vennominon off, hence why it was depicted that way in the cards art.

“Ohohohohohoho, she knows what’s coming next. Upon Vennominons destruction, I’ll activate Rise of the Snake Deity, enabling me to summon my strongest, and most beautiful monster of them all; come, Vennominaga, the Deity of Poisonous Snakes!” Medusa hissed with glee, as a colossal huminoid-snake appeared on the field, its arms taking on the form of two massive serpents heads.

ATK (?-3000)

“Now Vennominaga, destroy her worthless Fraulein!” Medusa cackled with glee, as the terrifying serpent blasted the poor girl with a massive glob of acidic venom, disintegrating her within seconds. The resulting explosion caused Blair to cry out in pain as she was sent hurtling to the floor.

Blair: 900

HVC: 1


“Blair!” Aya and Hardy called out, running over to check up on her.

“I-I’m fine…but I don’t think I can win this…” Blair replied weakly, as she barely managed to get up onto her feet. “T-That monster…its immune to card effects, and it comes back from the grave after its destroyed in battle.”

Yep, Vennominaga is that powerful. And it was released back when the ideal boss monster was something with 3000ATK and some generic control effect. A shame that Venoms can rarely summon her, otherwise they wouldn’t have been left in the dust.

“W-What are you going to do then?!” Aya wanted an answer.

“I…I gotta draw my next card. If it can turn the duel around, then we’re golden. But if not…then I want you two to run away from here.” Blair answered.

“Hell no! I’m not throwing you to the wolves—er, snakes! I stand by my friends!” Hardy declared, as a smile appeared on Blair’s face.

“Thank you…I’ll promise not to disappoint you.” Blair replied, as she wearily walked back to the field.

“You’re awfully persistent for a brat your age; Shesha is sure to enjoy feasting on your soul.” Medusa taunted the young girl, however Blair wasn’t fazed in the slightest.

It must be ravenous; it’s been several chapters since the critter last ate.

“We’ll see about that…” Blair replied, as she drew her next card and looked at it, before a confident smile appeared on her face. “I’m sorry to say this, but Shesha will have to go hungry tonight.”

“What?! Do you really think that pathetic card could stand a chance against my Vennominaga?!” Medusa exclaimed in mock surprise.

“Oh, I don’t think; I know. Behold, my Soul Release!” Blair showed off her newest card.

“N-No! Not the Soul Release!” Medusa gasped in fear and shock.

Eh…not the most ideal card for Vampires to run, but can be a tech choice against decks that heavily rely on the graveyard. That said, I like how she drew this card, on the very turn she needed it.

“Yep, if I can’t defeat the snake lady guess I’ll have to drain her of her power.” Blair replied, as she played the card and saw Vennominaga grow weaker by the second.

ATK (3000-500)

“But that’s not all; I’ll play my final facedown, Vampire Awakening to Special Summon another Vampire Fraulein. Then I’ll follow up by banishing Vampire Sorceror to summon Vampire Scarlet Scourge and overlay her with my Sheridan to XYZ Summon a second Sheridan!” Blair continued, playing her powerful combo to call for a new and improved Sheridan.

“T-This can’t be happening!” Medusa cried out.

“Oh it is happening; I’ll have Sheridan attack your Vennominaga, during which I’ll pay 800 Lifepoints to have Sheridan gain 800ATK.” Blair continued once more, as Fraulein performed a small chant to powerup her comrade.

Blair: 100

ATK (2600-3400)


The well-dressed vampire charged at the snake deity, dodging the incoming globs of venom directed at it and started climbing up the creature and bit down on its neck rather harshly. The deity shirked in pain as it was destroyed shortly afterwards, causing Medusa to hiss in pain as the explosion struck her dead on. She was about to slither towards the heroes when an agonizing sensation coursed through her body, with red cracks appearing all over her.

Demonic Arthritis; the most painful way to go.

“No…NO! I-I’m crumbling again!” Medusa shrieked in pain as the cracks started glowing harshly. “T-There was so much to do, so many pieces to craft. And I-I’ll never get to do so. D-Damn you all! Damn you all to the bowels of this hellish universe!” With one final scream of pain, Medusa exploded into millions of tiny pieces, which disintegrated into thin air, leaving nothing but a familiar velvet box behind.

Medusa: 0

Winner: Blair


“Phew, that’s one creepy crawly dealt with.” Blair sighed in relief, as she collapsed to her knees in exhaustion.

“Blair!” Aya and hardy called out in concern, running over to her side and helped her get back up on her feet.

“I-I’m fine thank you very much, but we can’t forget about the main objective…” Blair replied, as Aya quickly ran over to the velvet box and picked it up, sighing in relief when she saw that it was still in perfect condition.

“Nice…” Aya smiled, taking the Pearl Hairpin out of the box and put it back in her hair. “There we go. How do I look?”

“As stunning as the first day I met you.” Hardy complimented her, as the duo smiled at each other.

Just fuck already!

“Now let’s get out of this place already.”

“You don’t need to tell me that twice.” Blair agreed with him, as she helped him escort the exhausted Blair out of the twisted domain.

Tsukiji Kongangi: Leader’s room

The heads of the Divine Powers were watching the monitor grimly, as they saw Medusa’s light turn off, indicating that she had passed on. While impressed with how Tressa has been handling things, they’re were less than satisfied with how little progress has been made in terms of eliminating the fangame Community.

Maybe if you spent a little less time babbling about the same shit over and over again, you’ll get something done.

“So, Medusa is no longer with us…what a waste of my power it was to revive her.” Krishna muttered in disappointment. “Hopefully the rest of the vanguard doesn’t disappoint me.”

“The fangame junkies got lucky this time; I firmly believe that their streak shall end soon. A fitting fate to those who abandon the old gods in favour of those games.” Odin commented, tightening his grip on Gungnir.

“At the very least we can trust Tressa with carrying out our will, especially since she has an axe to grind with the fangame zealots.” Maitreya added, as the door to the room opened and Tressa walked in alongside Big Smoke, Dio and Tayama. “Oh, speaking of which, how have you been going with your mission?”

“Splendidly, Maitreya. I managed to recruit dozens of powerful allies to our cause, including the CEO of Nintendo.” Tressa began with a pleasant tone, as it soon changed to a more serious one. “However, Big Smoke has informed me about the misstep one of our agents committed during an important mission.”

“Y-You said that you wouldn’t tell her!” Tayama glared at Big Smoke, as a malicious grin appeared on Dio’s face.

“I was considering letting it slide, since nothing majorly wrong happened. But then I realised that as the leader of Tressa’s Octoguard, it is my duty to inform her of every little detail in regard to our agents.” Big Smoke replied, with the yakuza boss grinding his teeth in anger.

Lies! You just want to be in the next Octopath game, don’t you?

“So what was this transgression that Tayama committed? Did he play one of those cursed fangames?” Maitreya inquired.

“Basically, Tayama gave away his position when he was sent to spy on a couple agents of the Fangame Committee. He acted like a complete fool from what I’ve heard and ran away like a coward once he got caught. And that’s not including the fact that he’s been keeping a harem grocery list featuring the women who helped create the fangames.” Tressa continued, showing the three deities the harem list, much to Tayama’s horror.

“Ah yes, I remember seeing this when I first recruited him. I gotta say, I’m less than impressed with it.” Krishna replied, as his co-patriots started reading the list.

Oh please; I’m sure several of those old gods have their personal harem grocery lists. Just ask Zeus for pointers.

“Yeah, this fucker has been lusting after MY wife, and it’s fucking sickening!” Dio retorted, glaring at Tayama.

“Shut up you fuckstick! Serra is my prize, and my prize only!” Tayama snarled at the ringleader. “She will be mine while you’ll die alone in whatever cesspit you crawled out of.”

Great, that’s his catchphrase, isn’t it. It’s the most stock ‘fork-em-over’ bullshit I’ve seen in a while.

“Oh fuck you! For the last fucking time, she is my wife! I knocked her up for fucks sake, you have no damn right to get your greasy mitts all over her.” Dio hissed in anger.

“You mean to tell me that you married this Serra, and that you sired a child with her?” Odin asked, demanding an answer.

“Yeah, and it was the best fucking night of my life. I tell you, when you get her in the right mood…” Dio began, as he soon noticed that Odin was walking ominously towards him. “…Is there a problem—” In the blink of an eye, Odin snatched up the ringleader and rose him up to eye level, and glared at him dangerously.

“Insolent vermin; how dare you betray the old gods in favour of that blasphemous harlot! You helped her genetic survive another generation and helped assist the evil fangame peddlers!” Odin boomed at the man, sending shivers down his spine. “Time for your punishment…”

“P-Punishment…” Dio replied nervously, as he was hoisted into the air and thrown at the door, knocking it off its hinges and was sent flying down the hall.

The Norse God of Wisdom everyone; throwing people like they’re a goddamn football!

“You’re paying for that!” Odin shouted, as he soon directed his attention to Tayama who was sweating up a storm. “And as for you, you will be delegated to cafeteria duties for two months, starting from tomorrow. Be grateful I didn’t cut you down with Gungnir.”

“Y-Yessir!” Tayama quickly blurted, as he bolted out of the room in fear for his life.

“Is there anything else you need from us?” Tressa inquired.

“Not at the moment, you just continue with what you’ve been assigned with for now.” Krishna replied, with Tressa and Big Smoke bowing before the deities, before exiting the room.

Sorry if it’s a little late, but I was just hyped up by the release of the beta for Episode 11 of Pokémon Rejuvenation. Now the next chapter will be interesting as it’ll introduce a new faction into the story. But will they be a friend or a foe to our intrepid heroes? Oh, and there will be a lemon to spice things up, so look out for that. See you later everyone!

Another faction?! Just how many of them will be in this exercise of insanity?

Well there’s that chapter done; the same old shit as before. I do intend to go through with this thing until the end, if only to see what other insanity lies in wait for me.


Astolfo’s group:
Astolfo
Roland
Chevalier D’eon
Boudica
Blair Flannigan
Micaiah
Sothe
Jack Frost

Dawn Brigade:
Micaiah
Sothe
Nolan
Edward
Leonardo
Laura
Aran
Ilyana
Meg
Pelleas (not an actual member, but is a close associate of them)

Pokemon Fangame Community:
Ame (W.I.A)
Cain
Aya (Pearl Hairpin reclaimed)
Hardy (Reborn)
Titania
Amaria (Sapphire Bracelet stolen)
Julia
Alice
Charlotte (Diamond Earring stolen)
Laura (Not associated with the Fire Emblem Laura)
Saphira
Luna (Emerald Brooch stolen)
Serra
Bennett
Adrienn
Anna/Nostra (Amethyst Pendant stolen)
Noel/Nomos
Radomus
Corey
Heather (Ruby Ring stolen)
Shelly
Dr. Connal
Melia
Venam
Saki
Amber
Aelita
Nim
Erin
Crescent
Maria/Mariannette
Valerie
Scarlett
Shiv
Aurora
Garret
Rosetta
Hardy (Desolation) (K.I.A)
Amelia
Nora

The MS Loyalist Army:
General Nikita
Perche
Ami
Ulala

Allies:
Sanaki
Sephrian
Oliver
Clover
Light
Akame
Kurome
Fujiwara
Skins

The Forces of Heaven:
Merkabah/Jonathan
Gaston

The Forces of Hell:
Lucifer/Walter

The Divine Powers:
Krishna
Odin
Maitreya
Shesha
Damien (Defected from fangame community)
Tressa Colzione/The Matriarch
Ophilia Clement
Cyrus Albright
Olberic Eisenberg
Primrose Azelhart
Alfyn Greengrass
Therion
H’aanit
Dagda (?)
Zhong Kui
Medusa (Defeated)
Loki
Quetzalcoatl
Seth
Baal
Missy (Defeated)
Harold (Defeated)
Bandit Keith (Defeated)
Flamvell Dilly (Defeated)
Maximillion Pegasus
Lekain (K.I.A)
Hetzel (K.I.A)
Valtome (K.I.A)
Numida (K.I.A)
Jarod (K.I.A)
Tayama
General Wolfgang (K.I.A)
Big Smoke
Ryder
Johnny Klebitz
Mario (CEO of Nintendo)
Gentarou Hongou
Nagisa Nijisaki
Teruaki Kubota
Kagechika Musashidou
Dio (Zero Escape: VLR)
Senator Armstrong
Admiral Greyfield
Caesar (Ride to Hell)
Yasuke Matsuda
Yuuto Akimaya

The Traitors:
Jaern
Zenith
Professor Maple
Lin
Sirius
Blake (P.O.W)
Cal (P.O.W)
Fern
Madame X
Nastasia
Madelis
Neved
Geara
Ren
Professor Larkspur
Rick (K.I.A)
Professor Gobline
Radius (K.I.A)
Redi
Sam (K.I.A)
Elia (K.I.A)
Lavius
Lavia
Baron
Connor
Texan (K.I.A)

The Waifu Army:
Elysion
Alma
Amber
Izabella
Aisha
HMT (P.O.W)
Beecham (K.I.A)
Aswang (K.I.A)
Agalia (K.I.A)
Arsinoe (K.I.A)
Halle (K.I.A)
Mahiru (K.I.A)
Chunyan (K.I.A)
Molly (K.I.A)
Ichima (K.I.A)
Louise (K.I.A)
Gisee (K.I.A)
Emma (K.I.A)
Franke (K.I.A)
Teresa (K.I.A)
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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