Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:35 am

And we're back in the game.


Pressing yes with conviction, Harry turned towards Bloodfist, "I intend to be the richest of them all Bloodfist. Good day, may your gold flow and your enemies bleed," answering he rose from his chair with a calm smile, shocking the manager with his knowledge of their tongue. He thanked his mother for providing books on basic cultural references.

Here’s a cultural reference for you in my tongue. Fuck you! It’s a compliment, trust me.

Finishing his meeting with his account manager, Harry went to his next order of business. The Diagon alley is connected to many other alleys like Knockturn Alley. One of them is Horizon alley which held the building that was Harry's destination. Horizon alley housed many law firms and other related industries and firms, even a library-related wholly to the field of laws and regulations.

'Wizards and their weird sense of puns' Harry thought as he walked through the alley to reach the building, which held the signboard 'Magical Law Inc' in golden red on a red background. The signboard had a feminine touch, same as its workers whom he had heard about.

Heard about from whom and when? Because it sure sounds like the author pulled it all out of his ass just now.

Harry wanted to have a personal lawyer as he got the idea from his father's book. The law firm mentioned in it was long gone, destroyed in the war. Harry had a suspicion it was related to how others stole his family businesses. So he had researched a bit, ask around some shoppers and even his account manager once.

The result was him standing here now, even though 'Magical Law Inc' is a new law firm, it has enough trust value compared to others. The only reason it was not as successful as others were because of pureblood supremacists and their henchmen. This is because the lawyer, Ms. Satellizer L. Bridget, a 20-year-old Hogwarts Alumna, is at odds with her current head of house Charles L. Bridget, who is also her older brother. For some reason, he can't cast her out of the family nor can he control her. Everyone who knows this stays away from the firm fearing repercussion from the Bridget family head and its allies.

I think you’re overestimating my ability to care, author. What I’m reading here, is that you’ve made a female OC whose sole purpose will be to have Harry benefit from them, and he’ll have exclusive access to her – AGAIN!

Everyone except some half-blood and muggleborn magicals and now he himself, if she accepts his proposal that is. Taking a breath to calm himself and to bring up his occlumency to order his mind Harry entered the building.

During his exploration of occlumency, Harry had come to the realization that Gamer's mind was indeed a form of occlumency, only it helped in suppressing emotions and possibly shield his mind. It didn't create a mindscape or help in ordering his mind. So he decided to continue with his occlumency training.

Can the author stop fellating Harry’s powers at every opportunity?

Inside, Harry was greeted by the assistant with a warm smile, but Harry could see the curiosity and mild disbelief in her eyes. "Welcome to Magical Law Inc. How may I help you?" the assistant asked.

"Hello, I am Archer Debonair, I had booked an appointment with Ms. Bridget today. If you could let her know that I am here, that would be most helpful," Harry said quoting the pen name he created for anonymity.

"Very well, why don't you take a seat and I will be right back after checking it with my boss," the assistant said as she turned to climb the stairs to the side, which Harry thought was where the office was. Harry quickly used Observe on the assistant.

Will he ever not? I’m just asking, is no one’s personal life exempt from Harry snooping with his elevator looks?

Levi McGarden - Personal Assistant - Lvl 18

HP : 700/700

MP : 650/650

STR : 14

VIT : 18

DEX : 15

END : 10

INT : 26

WIS : 20

CHR : 18

LUC : 8

KAR : 2

Levi McGarden is a 19-year-old witch, who is a recent graduate and best friend of Satellizer L. Bridget. She is a half-blood and the only living member of McGarden family. She considers Satellizer as her sister and loves her more than a sister should.

She thinks Harry is playing a joke.

The author must be playing one too, by introducing a level eighteen character who is nineteen years old. I guess the birthday level ups are only for protagonists.

Harry wasn't upset about what she thought about him, Who wouldn't when a 12-year-old comes to see a lawyer? So he waited until Levi came back, taking a closer look at the building. It was a moderate building, probably one that they furnished themselves by the feminine touch he could see all around him. The entrance had a welcoming feel to it and Harry felt at ease sitting there.

Author, can you at least convince me you know what a “feminine touch” looks like, let alone how one feels?

Levi came back with a startled smile on her face, "You can go in now, she is waiting for you"

Nodding thanks, Harry went up into the office. Entering the office, Harry was greeted by the regal looking young lady, Ms. Satellizer L. Bridget. She wore a red satin shirt with black business skirt along with black stocking, both of which hugged her curves perfectly, her blonde hair done up in a bun and black sleek glasses, completed the picture of being a serious woman who meant business.

Which is totally why the author put focus on how her clothes fit like latex.

"I didn't expect a 12-year-old to require the assistance of a solicitor if it is for yourself that you are here for that is," she said.

"Others won't expect a 20-year-old pureblood witch to start up a law firm as well," Harry retorted.

I don’t even know why anyone would, if you can save on attorney fees by declaring a Bloodfeud and kill whoever you don’t like.

"Fair enough, I am Satellizer L. Bridget and how may Magical Law Inc be of service to you?" Satellizer said with a touch of respect.

"Before we go to that, first can you clarify something. Whatever I say now will be under client oath is it not?"

"Yes, that is correct. Unless what you say is non-incriminating, I will be under oath to keep your secrets."

I don’t think client confidentially exists before you’re actually a client. This isn’t a confessional.

"Well then let me introduce, or shall I say re-introduce myself first. I am Harry James Potter" Harry said with a small smile as he took down his cap which he donned when he left the bank.

It took a moment for Satellizer to get her wit back, "Well now this is interesting. What does the Boy-Who-Lived want the help of a law firm for?"

"Oh I assure you, I need the help both as the Boy-Who-Lived as well as the last living member of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter"

"Please, enlighten me"

Yes, please give us a reason for being here. Preferably one that doesn’t involve Harry fixing more problems that doesn’t exist.

"I need your help as the lawyer of Boy-Who-Lived for covering all the legal things that come up as part of being a celebrity, like the usage of my name without my consent in books and the like. And as for the last of Potter member, I need you as my personal solicitor" Harry said with confidence.

"You are giving me a big proposal, why didn't you choose any other firms?"

"I would have picked the law firm my family used to deal with, but sadly Wilksher & Co was destroyed in a raid during the last war. As for picking you, you are a pureblood witch which means you know the laws and regulations and other customs yet you are at odds with your brother who supports the Death eater sympathizers. You have the reputation of being trustworthy and being very good at what you do even from the goblins. The question is why wouldn't I?" Harry finished with a coy smile on his lips.

“Plus the author made you a young, hot woman in tight clothes, so there.”

"This used to be the building were Wilksher & Co worked. I bought it after it was left alone."

"Oh, I didn't know that. Anyway, what do you say, do you accept?" Harry asked firmly.

"It's an opportunity I can't pass up and you do qualify as my client type. Let me draw a basic contract and we can modify it after going through it together," Satellizer said as she took some parchment and quill and started scribbling down the basic contract. During this, Harry used Observe on her.

Oh, I bet he did. I bet he did it a lot.

Satellizer L. Bridget - Solicitor - Lvl 35

HP : 3500/3500

MP : 1500/1500

STR : 18

VIT : 24

DEX : 14

END : 17

INT : 35

WIS : 24

CHR : 18

LUC : 10

KAR : 7

Satellizer is the youngest of the three children of the Ancient House of Bridget. She has a brother and a sister and is at odds with both of them. She started hating them when her brother tried to rape her with the help of their elder sister. Ever since then she lives away from her family. Her father's last will stipulation forbids her siblings from directly causing harm to her or lose their status as members of the family.

And just like that, what little intrigue and mystery that surrounded the author’s OC is gone. Spoiler vision strikes again.

Satellizer respects Harry and thinks he will make a fine man some day.

Harry ignored the info about the rape for now as he was only a client and couldn't get personal with her. Maybe in time.

Maybe when a blue window pops up and promises him a reward for exploiting this deeply personal and private information.

She quickly drew up a contract, which was further expanded and modified. In the end, the contract signed gave 200 galleons a month to the firm and court fees according to the cases if any arise. In return, the firm will deal with all legal matters regarding Harry. Both will keep the secrets of other and can disperse the contract if they no longer want to work with each other on the grounds that information and secrets will be kept safe no matter what.

"First let me tell you all you need to know about me so far," Harry said after they both signed the contract. With his Harry explained his current status and his long-term plans for which he needed her to look into the Potter businesses that he lost. Harry also wanted Satellizer to look into who wrote the Harry Potter books and used his name without permission.

Harry Potter and the Name Exploitation Lawsuits!

"I need you to find someone from the Wizarding side who is good at investigation. They have to be good at following a paper trail yet savvy enough not to get caught doing it. Oh and make sure they can defend themselves should something arise. I don't need some poor sod's death on my conscience," Harry said with a bit of a grimace at the last part. "Once you find someone who fits the bill and can be trusted send them to my Account Manager at Gringotts, Bloodfist, to get a list of the properties that were lost. I want the name of the one responsible for betraying my family."

"Just signed and already a pile of work. It seems there won't be much free time now." Satellizer said letting out a breath at the jobs Harry had given to her, " How do I contact you?"

"Let's contact face to face in Christmas, when I can leave Hogwarts and during summer, where I will come to meet you. If it's an emergency then send an owl but I would prefer not to as I already told you about the Headmaster and other suspicious persons around me," Harry replied.

Care to inform the rest of us about those?

"Yes, I can see that it could be a problem. Well, let me find another way for communication. For now, the meetings on Christmas and summer will do. I will probably have a report on the book case by then. The rest will take time."

"I understand and that's fine with me. Well, until Christmas then" Harry rose and kissed lightly on her hand according to the pureblood customs, making her blush slightly.

The twelve-year-old is embarrassing her by playing suave, of course she’s blushing.

"Until Christmas then," She nodded back.

Harry returned back content knowing he did as much as he could towards setting his future. And now Hogwarts awaits.

Sep 1

Harry flooed to platform nine and three quarters on King's Cross station from his manor. He learned about this method of getting there from his father's book.

I should make an inconvenience removal count by the end of this mess.

Reaching there, Harry realized he was an hour early for the ride. There he saw the Hogwarts Express in all its red and gold glory. His first impression was it was over the top, but if he had to venture a guess, it was intended to impress the new generation of magicals and give a statement.

Who needs a train driver when the train is driven by agenda?

Deciding to take a look around, he went to the non-magical side of the station. Harry stood dumbstruck at the sheer size and activity of the station. After a little bit of walking around, he went back to the train to get a compartment and to avoid any commotion due to his status.

Most of the compartments were empty, as was to be expected since it was still early. Choosing a compartment, Harry brought his school trunk out of his inventory to avoid any suspicion. Harry was already dressed in robes to avoid the rush of doing it when the school was reached.

All that time he saved by doing that will be spent on not being inconvenienced.

He had put most of the books from his parent's trunk into his inventory. From his collection, he chose a Runes book to pass the time until the train reached Hogwarts.

His mother's notes had said that runes had many uses, mainly in warding structures and rituals. During his time in his mansion, which was unplottable and so away from any ministry monitoring, Harry was able to practice his wand magic. He mainly concentrated on wards and other practical spells that are not taught in the first year curriculum, partially because it would give him an advantage and partially because he didn't want to be bored during class. He had thoroughly learned his basics on wand magics so as to get maximum and easy results. With his knowledge, Harry put a small intent based ward on his compartment to repel all those who looked for the Boy-Who-Lived.

I can totally see how Harry needed to “catch up” to his peers.

Getting himself comfortable, Harry tried to read, however, his attention kept slipping towards the families on the platform. Watching them he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like with his own family. Soon the train got filled with students both new and old.

Whoa, Harry almost had a moment of self-reflection that could have resulted in genuine emotion – better move on immediately.

Some time passed before there was a knock on the door, followed by the door being opened by two girls who appeared to be of Indian descent. The first girl asked, "Do you mind if we join you?"

Owing to the fact that he would be spending time with them for the next seven years and that they were beautiful, he wanted to make a good first impression. Especially when it meant more positive rumors than dealing with negative rumors.

Author, please just stop. We know perfectly well why you are forcing these girls into Harry’s compartment, and that’s your prerogative as a writer. But the only reason Harry needs is that he wants friends. Stop overselling Harry’s reasons for tolerating female company, as if this as a strategic social move!

"Please do," Harry said with a pleasant smile, while he gestured to the seats. He made the effort to help them with their trunks using a simple levitation charm he learned saying, "Harry James Potter, Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter ." Both Harry and Bloodfist has decided to keep his Lordship status under wraps for now. He placed a light kiss on the hand of each girl.


Stepping out of their stupor at meeting the Boy-Who-Lived, the first girl responded by saying her name "Parvati Patil," before gesturing to her sister behind her "this is my sister Padma," who gave a small smile in greeting. The trio quickly slipped into conversation, during which Harry learned that their family originated from India, but their father had come over to Britain to look after the family trade interests on his own father's behalf, as well as acting in the role of unofficial ambassador. Throughout the conversation, it became apparent that Parvati was the talkative one while Padma answered questions in more detail.

They were shortly joined by another, a blonde girl named Lavender Brown, who received the same courtesy from Harry which made her blush and squeal, to her own and Harry's embarrassment. It seems they met at a Beltane festival two years back. Harry quickly realized that Lavender was a gossip queen no questions there. She was a bit silly for Harry's taste, but he could see the advantage of having the gossip queen as a friend so he remained friendly towards her.

Author, if you have any friends, I feel sorry for them.

Soon there was a lull in the conversation which Harry took advantage of by reading his book. Padma also seems to have the same idea. During their conversation, the train had already departed the station. While reading, Harry cast Observe on his three fellow passengers;

Parvati Patil - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 9

HP : 450/450

MP : 300/300

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 17

WIS : 10

CHR : 14

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Parvati Patil is a pureblood witch and the youngest of the twins of the Ancient House of Patil, from India. She gives more importance to looks, romance novels and all things fluffy. Lavender Brown is her best friend.

Parvati is smitten with Harry.

Why, thank you, spoiler vision. I was totally wondering if the author’s contrived efforts of boxing three girls into the same room as Harry had paid off.

Padma Patil - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 10

HP : 480/480

MP : 320/320

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 20

WIS : 12

CHR : 12

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Padma Patil is a pureblood witch and the eldest of the twins of the Ancient House of Patil, from India. She gives more importance to books, knowledge and all things that have meaning.

Padma is smitten with Harry.

He’s two for three. Can he do it, ladies and gentlemen? Can Harry woo all of these girls with his mere presence and hand kissing prowess?

Lavender Brown - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 9

HP : 420/420

MP : 300/300

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 16

WIS : 10

CHR : 14

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Lavender Brown is a pureblood witch of the Noble House of Brown. She gives more importance to looks, romance novels and all things fluffy. Parvati Patil is her best friend.

Lavender is smitten with Harry.


Harry was surprised that all three girls were smitten by him.

It’s cute how the author is trying to project an emotion onto his reader that he can’t even feign.

All too soon, the Hogwarts express reached the Hogsmeade station. The train slowed down as a voice echoed through the train, "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes. Please leave your luggage on the train. It will be taken to the school separately."

When Harry got out of the train, he heard a booming voice, "Firs' years, Firs' years over here!" walking in the direction of the voice, he came to the sight of the largest man he had ever seen. The person that stood before him was indeed a giant of a man.

I hope Hagrid doesn’t give enough xp for Harry to consider whether a half-giant counts as a monster or not.

Harry used Observe on him;

Rubeus Hagrid - Groundskeeper - Lvl 41

HP : 20,000/20,000

MP : 1500/1500

STR : 137

VIT : 150

DEX : 22

END : 142

INT : 18

WIS : 10

CHR : 20

KAR : 10

Rubeus Hagrid is a half-giant, with a giantess as the mother, don't ask. Hagrid is a free soul who is very kind and gentle. He loves his animals, which are usually monsters ranging from three-headed dogs to dragons. Hagrid possesses the giant's blood ability. Hagrid was suspended from Hogwarts in his third year without any proof of the accusations towards him. Dumbledore provided him the job he now has. He is an avid Dumbledore supporter.

Hagrid adores Harry and sees him as the next Albus Dumbledore.

That might change when he sees what Harry’s boots are made out of.

Harry was shocked at the status first until he read the info containing the half-giant part. Hagrid seemed to beam at him and continued to call as Harry smiled back, "C'mon follow me. Anymore Firs' years? Mind yer step now. Firs' years follow me"

He took them to a lake through a winding slippery path through the forest. They followed him through the darkness, along the path and reached small boats on the lakeside. "No more'n four to a boat" Hagrid called out to them pointing to the fleet of boats on the shore.

Harry helped the girls get on the boat, as he needed to keep up the impression and curry more favor and positive response from them.

He can’t just be nice, no, every action he takes is explicitly for his own benefit – what the fuck is this character?!

"Everyone in?"Hagrid shouted, who had a whole boat to himself, "Right then -FORWARD"

The fleet of boats all moved at once, gliding across the smooth lake surface. They soon came upon the mesmerizing view of the Hogwarts castle. It glinted before the moonlight, giving it a fairytale castle effect. Harry could feel the living breathing magic that flowed through the castle, almost seeming alive, seeming to welcome the new students. Harry very much felt at home here.

Ridiculous size, too many bedrooms, Quidditch pitch, greenhouse, kitchen staff; no shit he feels at home, it’s barely any different from his mansion.

Everyone was silent as they marveled at the beauty before them. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood.

"Heads down" Hagrid yelled as they neared the cliff. They all bent their heads as they were carried through an opening in the vines on the cliff surface. They were guided through a dark tunnel, which seemed to be right under the castle, to reach an underground harbor where they all clambered out onto to the shore.

They followed Hagrid up a passageway in the cavern, coming out onto smooth grass under the shadow of the castle. They all climbed up a flight of stone steps and crowded around a large oak door.

"Everyone here? Good!" Hagrid said as he knocked on the door three times.

Unless they do a head count, what is there to say that a few first years didn’t fall out of their boats and drown? Just asking.

The doors swung open, and they were greeted by Professor McGonagall with a stern expression. She led them into an empty chamber in front of the Great Hall and explained that houses acted like family and there are four houses and each of them will be sorted into a house.

He heard a boy from across the mass of students say that his older brothers had told him that they would have to fight a troll, and heard the heir of Malfoy family mocking the boy. Luckily before things escalated Prof. McGonagall came back and led them into the Great Hall.

Ah, so Harry’s original friends haven’t just gone up in smoke. Whether they’ll be bashing targets or background noise, I don’t know yet, but it’s not like I have any hope that the author won’t abuse them like the rest of the canon.

During this time however Harry only had mild concentration as he was checking out the new quest alert he got;

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

Hogwarts Student : Get Sorted!

Get sorted into a house





You will not be able to attend Hogwarts


All he has to do is keep quiet and follow instructions. The quest literally demands more effort from him to fail than to complete! What is even the point?!

Harry accepted it as he moved along with his fellow students into the great hall. They entered in pairs and followed in line behind the professor. Harry was with Padma ahead of Parvati and Lavender, a bushy-haired girl and a small Asian girl were in front of them. He heard the bushy-haired girl say that she read about the Great Hall and the enchanted ceiling in 'Hogwarts : A History'.

Harry had read it too, but the books didn't do the Great Hall justice. The Great Hall was lit up by thousands of candles which were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets.

I’m so happy the school budget went to the silverware instead of, uh, anything else.

At the top of the Hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Prof. McGonagall led the first years up there so that they came to a halt in a line facing the teachers.

All four tables were looking at them, hundreds of faces staring at them, watching them. Dotted here and there among the students were the ghosts. Harry looked upwards to study the famous Enchanted ceiling of Hogwarts' Great Hall. It was very beautiful like you were looking at the real sky. Harry was not the only one who looked up at the ceiling.

Don’t mistake my eye rolling for the same.

Prof. McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years along with a pointed wizard's hat which was patched and frayed and extremely dirty.

When everyone was silent, to Harry's and other first years surprise, a mouth formed on the hat as it began to sing;

'Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see.

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hat sleek and tall.

An ugly one will definitely,

Keep your identity from all

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat,

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

That the sorting hat can't see,

So try me on and I'll tell you

Where you ought to be.

Judge, jury, and executioner; this hat is mad with power!

You might belong to Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry,

Set Gryffindors apart.

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,

And unafraid of toil.

They’ll do your homework for you, if you use enough peer pressure.

Or yet, in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind.

Or perhaps in Slytherin,

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folks use any means,

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

Motherfucker, you just implied that an entire house would kill you for better grades.

And don't get in a flap!

You are in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a thinking cap!'

The whole Hall burst into cheers as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became still again. Prof. McGonagall then stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will step forward, put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said and then started calling out names in the alphabetical order.

Every time someone got sorted, the table of the chosen house would erupt in cheers.

“Fresh meat! Fresh meat!”

During his wait for his own name to be called, Harry started taking a mental picture of each student as they sat on the stool and were sorted into their house. He decided that building a mental profile for each of them would be of benefit when dealing with them after all knowledge was power and all great wizards or witches were geniuses in their own rights and experts in their fields of magic.

Behavior like this is the reason we have restraining orders, author.

Harry noted that while Lavender and Parvati went to Gryffindor, Padma was sorted to Ravenclaw just as his assumption and Observe info hinted at. Then his name called;

"Harry Potter"

Suddenly there was absolute silence as everyone tried to get a good look at the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry started walking towards the stool, his back straight, shoulders back, emotionless mask on his face, at a firm pace, that showed neither eagerness nor reluctance. He could hear the rising whisperings from the student body;

I hope it’s about how he’s acting like a fucking robot.

"He's tall."

"No, he's shorter than in books."

"Looks like he has some muscles."

"He's hot."

And twelve, please shut up.

Harry stopped listening to the whispers at that comment, seriously it was getting a bit frustrating and embarrassing for him. Sitting on the stool, his vision of the Hall and its occupants was covered and blacked out by the hem of the hat. And from the darkness a loud yell echoed through his head;

"What the fuck?"

What is this, My Immortal?


To Blaze1992 the story will contain other elements than HP lore, though what order, what all they are is still up in the air.

I would like suggestions on the part played by Satellizer and Levi ( As I am not completely sure with them). The new characters will have the same info, all I need is suggestion for characters that are not in HP lore. So put them in review please.

In other words, you’ve included new characters that you have no idea what to do with. Amazing.

And for those who thinks the Karma points for the solicitor and Hagrid are high; first the solicitor helps the half-bloods and muggleborns so she gets it through there, Hagrid seriously does anyone needs an explanation? The guy who helps all the animals? What I gave him could only be lower than it should be.

I have no idea what a high amount of Karma is, nor do I know how it’s accumulated yet, you numbskull. I’m just happy that Harry’s lower Karma score reflects my expectations of him.

Next chapter - Hogwarts houses, classes and friends)


Finally the story has reached the location where the plot is supposed to be. However, with Harry having consumed all the knowledge he could ever need, I’m not looking forward to a year’s worth scholastic whining, inconvenience removals, and pre-hoc rationalization of indulging in friendship behavior.

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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sat Oct 26, 2019 8:03 am

We left off on the Sorting Hat shouting profanity into Harry’s ear, so either this story is about to have a moment of self-awareness, or the author thinks cliff hangers are all about the edge. I know what I’m betting my money on, but let’s find out. Enjoy.


Chapter 8: Hogwarts, Houses, Classes, and Friends

Kyrin's A/N : Cosmetic changes.


I give the whole credit for the character Cassiopeia (along with the nickname Theia) and the plot idea of her to Inimicus, the dude who helped me and still do whenever I am stuck with my story.

Cassiopeia. Greek mythological figure whose vanity brought the wrath of Poseidon upon Ethiopia. It’s also the name of a constellation that shares hemisphere with the likes of Draco and Andromeda, so there’s really only two options as to what her last name will be here.

I made a slight mistake - the perk point will be awarded every 10 levels. Sorry if this confused you. I have already changed it in the chapters. Now the first one he got to choose when he became level 5 was actually a gift for his birthday after receiving his powers.

I’m always pleasantly surprised when an author acknowledges a mistake in their work, and then they actually correct it. Why was it a mistake, though? Was it a balance issue? But wait, this can’t be right since Harry did get a perk point at level five. What gives?

Kyrin's A/N - I'm actually changing this back to every five levels as you would have noticed in chapter 6.

Congratulations, Kyrin! You just became the worse author of the two of you.

All suggestions, remarks, criticism and reviews are welcome.)

Chapter 8

"What the fuck?"

Only with the help of his Gamer's Mind and Occlumency that Harry didn't jump up from his stool in a massive state of panic. Instead, he sat there with a calm aura as he searched for the source of the loud scream.

If it weren’t for his superpowers, he would be jumping out the nearest window if a balloon popped behind him.

He soon heard mutterings of four different people in his head, two feminine, and two male.

"How is such a thing possible?"

"Is he a wizard at all?"

"I think so, I mean he did have wizarding parents"

"Stop this, the kid is listening."

"Ah, hello there. Is there a problem? Who is this?" Harry asked mentally.

It’s just contrivedly inserted characters standing in awe of you breaking standard conventions, Harry. Get used to it.

"It's nothing to worry dear," a feminine voice replied as another one followed it "We were just surprised by the powers you possess"

A gruff male voice said, "Allow me to introduce ourselves. We are the imprints of the four founders left inside the magical sorting hat. We don't talk directly like this, instead, we let the hat do the job with our guidance."

Because having four people bickering with each other instead of a single person making up their mind seems so much better.

"Yes, your...let's just say spectacular powers, intrigued us and we came forth to sort you ourselves," a smooth male voice continued.

"So where do I belong then?" Harry asked. He wanted to have a full conversation with them, get to know them, their secrets, their knowledge but knew that he didn't have the time nor would anyone allow it just because he wanted it.

It’s not quite admitting that his selfish and power hungry kneejerk reactions to meeting new people is wrong, but I’ll consider it as such.

"You are worthy of all four houses; you have courage and cunning in spades, the resourcefulness and a thirst for knowledge, you are hardworking and loyal to those who have earned yours. We can see it, the struggles you had, the problems you faced, and how you overcame them. But it seems you have a house already in mind. And we agree that house will be the most suitable for your needs." The voices stopped for a moment, "However since this is the first time someone like you have appeared, we would like to give you a quest. Choose it and you will find that which only we alone know of, choose it and you will find all you need in your journey to bring back your house fortune, choose it and you will become powerful. Do you accept?"

Intrigued by the request, Harry asked: "What is the quest?"

Why ask at all? You wouldn’t refuse a quest even if it was titled ‘Prison rape’.

"That we will not tell you until you accept. Of course, you can choose not to, but you will never find what lay hidden, ever. And the quest itself will not be easy, it will test your courage, cunning, resourcefulness, knowledge, patience, and above all you as a person. So what say you, young wizard?"

This is how Voldemort could win. Offer Harry a quest to die, but not telling him before he accepts it.

Finding little to no information to go on, Harry thought it over. 'Yes it would be a hard quest, but where was there a case when someone got a reward without risk. If I want to rebuild my family in this world, then I need all the help I can get.' Harry finally reaching a decision said with conviction "Yes, I accept the quest."

Harry was blinded for a second by a bright light, then he came to a room with nothing but white walls and floor. He looked around and found four people standing there. The first, a male with black hair and goatee wore black and emerald green cloak and medieval dress and the second male with red hair and beard wore a red and gold cloak. Both were muscular and lean. The former had emerald eyes like him whereas the latter had sky blue eyes. The first woman wore a yellow and black cloak, with strawberry blonde hair and a curvaceous body and amber eyes, while the second wore a blue and bronze cloak who had black hair, crystal blue eyes and an equally beautiful body with a tiara on her head. Harry quickly realized they were the founders, but before he could greet them, a blue screen popped in front of him.

Sure, they are the Founders. Never mind that Salazar Slytherin was described as ‘monkey-like’, and that Helga Hufflepuff was plump with red hair. Historical records have simply been unkind to them.

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

The Founders' Heir : Find the lost treasures!

Find the lost and hidden treasures of the Founders' of Hogwarts and become their Heir



New Title - Founders' Heir






You will never be able to become the Founders Heir

Possible Death


A much more reasonable penalty, but again failing the quest should not result in dying; dying should result in failing the quest.

Harry pressed yes and turned his attention towards the founders. They seemed to be measuring him.

"It's good to see face to face, but we are rather short on time, so let us get the introduction out of the way. I am Salazar Slytherin, this is Godric Gryffindor, the lady with the tiara is Rowena Ravenclaw and last but not least, Helga Hufflepuff." the man with the black goatee said.

"Inside Hogwarts we four each have created a secret room or chamber by ourselves. Each holding our most beloved and heavily guarded treasures. You must find each one and claim it as your own. Of course, they are guarded by traps and beasts. But what fun is it if it's too simple.

“Oh how they protested us putting these hazards in a school for children. As if Hogwarts was supposed to be a safe place or something.”

However to help you on this quest and also in your life, we will give you a clue to a wonderful room that we created together, combining our expertise. It's called the Room Of Requirement and you will have to find it on your own as well. But here is something that will help you on your way, 'If you have to ask you will never know, But if you Know you only need to ask'," Ravenclaw spoke in a mysterious tone. "I am sure you will be able to figure it out, after all, you chose to be in my house," she finished with a smile.

He chose to join the smart kids’ club, so he has to be smart. Flawless logic right there.

"Find our legacy Harry, find it and restore what we struggled for, restore who we really were," Gryffindor said as Helga joined in."History has been long since been corrupted, to suit the needs of the ones who told them. Find our truths, show it to the world and bring peace to our world."

I guess history actually was unkind to them. But why? And why does this injected mystery plot exceed the parameter of the quest it arrived with?

"Make do and steady your heart and mind for what is to come, my child. For this is only the beginning, the beginning of a whole new era, an era of war, love, destruction, and hopefully peace. And you shall be its central point, everything will be on your shoulders," Rowena said in a heartfelt voice.

Could it perhaps start with less platitudes and meaningless drivel?

"Find those who will stand beside you. Give them your loyalty and they will give you yours. Now go, and know that we are with you always," Helga said.

"You must have courage not just to face danger but to admit your follies as well and that you need help," Godric said, the light again started to blind him as Salazar joined, "And when you stumble know this, help shall always be given at Hogwarts, Harry, to those who ask for it."

“Not the help they ask for, mind you – what fun would there be in that?”

Harry was back to where he actually was and regained his senses as he heard the loud call of sorting hat saying his house "RAVENCLAW", causing the Ravenclaw table to erupt in applause. Harry smoothly took the hat off his head and handed it to Prof. McGonagall and got up from the stool. Taking a place next to Padma, he listened carefully as the rest of the names were called out and sorted into their houses, before listening to the Headmaster's speech half-heartedly.

I hope he loses house points as fast as he loses interest.

He also received his quest complete window, which he closed promptly.

Quest Complete!

Hogwarts Student : Get Sorted!



Bonus Quest - Founders' Heir

As dinner appeared, the tables erupted into small talk. Harry was bombarded with questions from all around the table. Harry politely replied to each one as he made a mental list of useful people like the fifth year prefect, Penelope Clearwater. Harry made small talk, not really being interested in making friends based on first encounters, preferring to wait and judge his fellow housemates before deciding their worth.

The hat said Ravenclaw, but his personality screams Slytherin.

In his house, there were only two boys, Anthony Goldstein and Terry Boot, in his year besides Harry. Others were Amanda Brocklehurst, Lisa Turpin, Hermione Granger, Su Li, Padma Patil and Cassiopeia Malfoy of whom Harry was wary of. She was apparently Draco Malfoy's twin.


Golly gee willickers, I wonder why this new character was introduced. What could possibly possess the author to fashion a female twin of a minor antagonist, and then allow his avatar protagonist access to her? Him with several skills revolving around sex, and she being a girl and bearing the name Malfoy. No, author, I’m not saying you want to fuck Draco Malfoy. I’m saying you want to fuck him over by fucking his family, and you couldn’t get his mother to be here.

As the dinner finished, the Headmaster rose once again while all the food vanished.

"Ahem, just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start of term notices to give you," he said in a grandfatherly tone.

"The first years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. A few older students would do well to remember that as well," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in the direction of two ginger-haired twins.

“They should remember that the Forbidden Forest is OFF grounds, and is therefore perfectly fine to enter.”

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all, that no magic should be used between classes in the corridor."

“Since the castle is 50% staircases, I think we can make an exception for corridors.”

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house team should contact Madam Hooch."

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side of the castle is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death," he said in a most serious tone.

'Something is up, he is not that stupid to realize that half the school will now be looking into it. It seems he has more cunning than a Gryffindor should have. Have to keep my eyes open around this guy,' Harry thought before his internal monologue ended as the whole school erupted in song.

“Don’t go to this place. You will literally die.”


Harry used this time to use Observe on the teachers including Dumbledore and just like he thought it only gave him blank question marks.

Everybody finished the song at different times. At the end, only the ginger-haired twins were left singing a very slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped the loudest.

Am I supposed to take this as accusatory, or do you have nothing to do but copy the book, author?

"Ah, music, a magic beyond all we do here! And now bedtime. Off you trot!" he said dismissing them all from the hall.

Ravenclaw prefects ordered the first years to follow them. They walked past suits of armors, around corners, upstairs. The castle was almost like a maze in its own right. Harry was wondering how much further they had to go before they came to a sudden halt. There was a door in front of them. There was no keyhole and no door handle; nothing but a plain expanse of ancient wood and a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle.

The riddle speaking doorknocker. Fanfic authors always try to be clever with it, so let’s see the extent of the author’s wit.

The female prefect he identified from the feast stepped forward turning towards them and said, "This is the entrance to the Ravenclaw tower. You have to knock and the guardian will ask you a question or a riddle, which you will have to answer, otherwise, you won't gain entrance. If you don't know the answer, wait for another student to come along or go to our Head of House." She then proceeded to give them a demonstration as she knocked and the guardian asked a riddle in a wise tone.

"What starts with the letter C and ends with T, which is moist on the inside and hairy on the outside?"

Penelope and the male prefect Tony blushed bright red hearing the riddle, Harry mentally snickered as most of his fellow year mates remained clueless at the innuendo. He noted that Padma, Hermione, and Cassiopeia had blushes on their face as well. Filing that information away in his mind, he stepped forward and said, "Coconut"

Durr-hurr, sex joke, get it?! What crossword did you steal this trivia question from, author? The eagle’s questions are supposed to be thought provoking with complexity that goes beyond ‘what word am I thinking of’. “What came first, the phoenix or the flame,” was answered with “a circle has no beginning,” and here you substitute profoundness for dirty humor while putting your avatar in the house of intellectuals. I hope you choked on your own saliva while you were giggling to yourself.

"Correct," the guardian said finishing with a booming laugh, opening the doorway. Harry had the distant feeling that the guardian did that on purpose and maybe a closet pervert as well.

Clearly a thing you’d want in an institution full of children.

Harry pushed forward as his fellow year mates and the prefects shook off their awkwardness and got the first glimpse of the Ravenclaw common room. The room could be best described as an 'airy' room with many arched windows overlooking the surrounding mountains, all hung with heavy blue and bronze curtains, matching their house colors. The ceiling was domed and painted blue with twinkling stars on it. The floor was covered in midnight-blue carpet, completing the 'Ravenclaw' look about the place.

The room was filled with fat and cushy armchairs that looked quite comfortable to just sit and read a book.

Too bad Harry already read them all.

The room also seemed to be circular in shape, showing that it was indeed inside the Ravenclaw tower, while there were several stairs leading up to the student dorms. There was a statue of Rowena Ravenclaw beside the entrance to the room, which seemed to be almost similar to her imprint Harry saw when he put on the sorting hat.

"Impressive," Harry said, taking in the sight of the common room.

This writing is quite the opposite. A genuine character reaction would be an awed whisper with eyes full of wonder. Instead we get a simple statement of approval made for and by the author.

The male prefect nodded in agreement, before calling for their attention. "Ravens are famed for our knowledge, and as such we have our own rooms, while other houses have to share. This is so you can read, study and practice magic without disturbing your housemates.

No, this is so the protagonist can have the luxury of privacy. Do you have any idea of the shit-fit the rest of the school would throw, if only one school house was allowed their own rooms?!

Your rooms are basic; this is intentional so they can be customized and to encourage you to learn charms and spells to make these rooms your own over the next seven years. Each room has the name of its occupant on the door, it will be yours for the next seven years."

Pausing before continuing his speech, "Each year has its own group study period, along with their own older student, acting as a mentor, who will be tasked with helping you." He gestured to the surrounding Ravens, who were watching their new housemates with interest.

So they’re expected to have mandatory group study as well as study in their free time? When are these nerds allowed to live?

"Now, the girl's dorms are over there," the prefect said pointing to a set of stairs, then pointing to another set in the other corner, "And these are the guy's dorms. While I remember, I suggest you reread your potion textbooks, because our potion master love to take house points for failing to answer his questions fully and correctly." He then dismissed them to find their own rooms.

Walking up the stairs with the rest of first-year males, Harry quickly found his room, which itself was bare. The bed was an impressive four-poster one with blue curtains, with desk and work area in the corner and another door leading to a washroom. Noticing his trunk in the corner, he took out his first yearbooks and arranged them on his desk to have an easy access then he took all of his potion materials before setting down on the bed to reread his first year potions books, as the fifth year recommended.

I’m guessing his other luggage, aka Nimuae, is just going to stay in his inventory.

He used his occlumency to keep everything he read into a codex so he could remember them perfectly, he also added the information about ingredients from Herbology linked to the potion section as well. After that was done, Harry went to order his mental file of each student, which he created, like house, year, etc. Harry also thought about the quest he got from the founders. But he didn't go into further details as it became midnight and he went to sleep leaving it for a later date.

He thought about it, then stopped. Brilliant writing.

You have slept in your bed. HP & MP restored to 100%. All negative status effects and ailments have been cured.

Harry woke up early like he used to, with the sun just barely out of the horizon. The night had been restless, due to his internal excitement at finally being able to attend the school and learn at the hands of some of the best teachers in the world.

Harry started his morning routine of pushups and sit-ups, he also had added a hanging bar to do pull ups and chin ups. He wanted to go for a run and a swim but decided to wait a couple more days for that.

The only reason that this RPG protagonist has to do morning exercise, is so that he can get stat points that he doesn’t need to draw from the ones earned from level ups.

Noticing it was almost time for breakfast, he made his way over to the washroom for a shower, before putting on his robes and trying but failing to tame his hair.

Checking himself in the mirror before heading down to the common room, he sat down in the corner waiting for rest of his year mates to arrive. Realizing he was early, he started going through his mind codex using occlumency.

He sees it’s almost time for breakfast, he takes as shower, gets dressed, does his hair, yet still somehow he’s there early?

Soon his year mates came down. Before they left the common room, their head of the house came to greet them and gave their timetables and also offered his help with anything that they might need. Looking at the timetable, Harry saw that they shared classes with the other three houses alternatively for subjects. Like Herbology which he had today was shared with the Slytherins. Taking the necessary books for today, Harry went to get breakfast with his year mates while having small talk with Padma.

Harry rested on his bed, enjoying the peace and quiet for a change now that the day was over. This gave him a chance to reflect on everything that had happened on the two days since that first evening.

Hold on, I know I didn’t just black out and miss several paragraphs just now. The author is simply skipping ahead so that everything can be told in hindsight. What is the point?!

The first couple of days were amazing; they just flew by in a mix of awe and excitement. Even if most of the lessons were just introductions to the courses, basic lectures on what the subject was about and the planned material for the upcoming year; it did nothing to kill his excitement.

He would need to possess any for that to happen. Don’t tell us he’s excited; show us!

The only subject that was disappointing was History of magic, which was taught by the ghost of the former History teacher who had happened to die during his sleep, or during one of his lectures if the terror twins were to be believed.

Professor Cuthbert Binns seemed to have permanently cast a sleeping spell over the room and all the students in it, even he himself wasn't immune to it! This frankly was a bit of a disappointment to Harry as he considered himself to be an amateur Historian. After all, he had read most of the history section at his local library when he searched for dungeons.

I think your pursuit of exploitable medieval real estate is a bit different from scholarly dedication towards historical records.

Ultimately, he ended up asking several older Ravenclaws about the ghost during lunch time. Frankly, their advice wasn't promising, it turned out that it had happened to everyone. Most of them ended up doing self-study instead and skipped History all together, before dropping the subject rather than endure the ghost. Others charmed their quills to write down the notes for them instead. Unfortunately, the charm wasn't taught until fourth year and Harry wasn't ready to owe anyone for simply learning such a spell, so it didn't help him either.

He could have someone teach him a helpful spell, but nah, he doesn’t want to risk being indebted to anyone. What a disgustingly narcissistic character you’ve made, author.

Another subject that was interesting but was ruined because of the teaching was Defence Against Dark Arts or DADA, taught by Prof. Quirinus Quirrell. His constant stuttering, the smell of garlic and his constant jumping at shadows had made him the second most useless professor in Harry's list. While enquiring about it Harry had learned about the curse on the DADA position and how every year the professor for DADA is met with unfortunate incidents and was replaced the next year. Some had even died for taking up the post. Of course, being him, Harry immediately got a new quest out of it.

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

The Curse Breaker : Find and remove the DADA curse!

Find the reason for the curse on DADA post and remove it



New Title - Curse Breaker

500,000 galleons



Every DADA professor will meet an unfortunate fate



Could we not have death be a failure penalty of every quest Harry gets?!

From the high XP reward, Harry was sure it will take a long time to solve it. But the chance of getting such a huge amount of XP and money made him accept the quest.

Fortunately, Herbology turned out to be far more interesting than he had originally expected. The subject was taught by Professor Pomona Sprout, the Head of Hufflepuff House.

Prof. Sprout seemed a rather easy going person, which in hindsight should have been expected. She was a person of the earth, who clearly embodied her house's value of fair play and hard work. Listening to her lectures on magical plants, it was clear that they were her passion and it explained why she was considered one of the leading experts on magical flora.

Speaking of tending to houseplants, did Nimuae just drop out of this story, or is she just put on hold until Harry deems her useful?

The highlight of the lesson came from the Slytherin students, and how they reacted to the thought of getting their hands dirty. Thinking about it again caused Harry to chuckle quietly at the memory of the day's events. Their reactions made it clear which of them could be considered spoiled.

No doubt every bookworm in Ravenclaw was just eager to go shoulders deep in mulch.

However, their reaction was even stronger when Prof. Sprout ordered them to pair up with another student from a different house in order to promote student unity and spread the seeds of friendship. A couple of low voices whispered complaints about being partnered up with their Ravenclaw counterparts. He heard what seemed to be Draco Malfoy's favorite line, "Wait till my father hears about this." Fortunately, he and Padma were partnered up with Slytherins who were the exception to this rule. His partner turned out to be a girl with flowing blonde hair named Daphne Greengrass, while Padma paired up with an auburn-haired girl named Tracy Davis.

Color me surprised, because I would need actual paint to feign the emotion. It can never be anyone but the ever eligible victims for author-mandated romance.

The two groups went about their collective tasks, which made it clear in hindsight that both Daphne and Tracy had previous experience in magical gardening. Harry had managed to do decent work, mainly because his level in Herbology was high and because he followed Daphne's methods, due to her more extensive knowledge of magical plants. By the end of the lesson, both had earned a good number of house points since they, unlike other pairs, just got to work rather than bicker over the task. During the task, they made minor small talk, nothing personal, just light talk to help pass the time. Harry did enjoy her company.

A number tied to person-directed affection suspended within the robot’s programming incremented slightly. How nice of you to inform the rest of us.

Another thing that intrigued Harry was the fact that Draco and Cassiopeia didn't partner up during the class. Harry decided not to jump to conclusion until he could do an Observe on both of them.

That won’t prevent me and everyone reading this, though. The author may not have expressed it outright, but this story clearly has a harem list.

That was another thing Harry was disappointed about, due to the hectic work and class, he couldn't find time to do an Observe on who he wanted to. But he decided to do it during the weekend.

The next day, Harry headed to the class he was most looking forward to, Charms. The class was taught by his head of House, Professor Filius Flitwick, charms master of Hogwarts and retired duelist.

Professor Flitwick was short, only about four feet in height and from what he heard from his fellow housemates this was due to him being part goblin. This was extremely odd, considering how rare interspecies marriages were, to the point of nearly being unheard of, in British culture.

Yeah, about that. Would this imply that muggle cases of dwarfism are just half-goblins?

Harry took a seat in front of the class to get a better view and was joined by Padma. After a couple of minutes, the Professor walked in and jumped onto a stack of books, before beginning his introduction speech about the subject and the materials, like the other professors.

Watching his Head of House, Harry couldn't help but smile at the sight of the tiny professor balancing on books, trying not to fall off.

If only I believed he had emotions to facilitate this reaction.

When his name was finally called out of the register, the Professor literally jumped in excitement. However, this display of energy, while embarrassing for him at first also resulted in Prof. Flitwick losing his balance, sending the book stack scattering across the floor.

Being a formal duelist, the professor landed gracefully to the applause of the students, taking the attention away from Harry, for which he was very grateful. After that little stunt, the professor continued calling the register. When it was over, Harry listened with interest as the professor showed several of the charms they would be learning over the course of the year, which was received with a series of "ahhs" from the students.

Watching the professor, he could remember reading about the spells on display and the theory behind them. Smiling as he watched, Harry felt confident that he would live up to his Head of House's expectations. After all, he had managed to cast several of them before coming to Hogwarts. Right then and there, he made a silent promise to himself to learn all the first year spells by Christmas.

He is so confident in living up to the expectations of learning his curriculum, that he decides he’ll do it in half the time. I would call him overconfident, but I’ll settled for calling the author a hack.

The first half of the class was about the theory of basic Lumos light charm. Professor Flitwick stated that while it was one of the simplest of spells, them being first years will take some time to get it right, as they needed necessary experience in casting spells and focus required in controlling their magic. Naturally, their work rate would increase as they progressed through the school year, due to their magic becoming easier for them to wield.

All too soon the classroom was filled with students shouting, "Lumos", in an attempt to create a light on the tip of their wands. They began to shout louder as their frustration increased, in a vain attempt to force the spell work, not realizing it made no difference.

None of these likely magically raised members of the studious house of Ravenclaw knows how magic works, you see.

There were occasional sprouts of light here and there, but it was Harry who got it first to have a steady ball of light at the tip of his wand. Which earned him 10 points, who was followed by Hermione, who got another five points for their house. Watching her Harry realized that she has marked him has her academic rival, which he thought was childish until he realized they were children.

I do so wonder if this laughable realization will be disregarded when the sex scene arrives.

He also noted that Cassiopeia had got the hang of it as well, proving his theory that pureblood kids have gotten previous training.

For someone this hooked on stats, you have no idea how statistics works.

"Want some help?" he asked Padma as he saw her struggling.

"Sure," she said, "If you don't mind."

For the rest of the lesson, Harry helped Padma to do the Lumos charm, which she was able to do successfully after his help. Seeing this, Prof. Flitwick came by to quiz Harry on his knowledge and what other spells he could do. Harry ended up admitting that he was already capable of casting a good dozen number of first-year spells, such as the 'color changing charm' and the 'levitation spell'. He also told Flitwick his goal of learning all the first year spells by Christmas. By the time he was done listing the spells, as well as his own goals, his teacher seemed to bounce with energy and gave him another twenty points for it.

It’s almost like first year students having prior spell casting experience is a novelty. Like consistency in a fanfic.

Finally, the school bell rang, causing the professor to assign the Lumos charm practicing as homework. Then he dismissed the class so they could go down to the Great Hall for lunch.

On the way to the Great Hall, Harry caught a glimpse of the hourglass which kept track of the House points and saw that Ravenclaw was ahead by 35 points.

Even though Harry sat with his yearmates, he never initiated a conversation unless necessary. He let others talk while he just listened.

Keep in mind, Harry isn’t an introvert; just a sociopath.

Looking across the hall he found Padma sitting with her sister at the Gryffindor table. During one of the conversation, Anthony and Terry asked Harry for his help in learning to cast Lumos. Which he agreed on the condition that they would never ask his help for writing assignments or some such and only for help with actual casting of spells, which they agreed with.

I could repeat my previous point ad nauseam, and it would be justified.

After lunch, it was Transfiguration another class Harry wanted to excel at since his dad was known as a prodigy in the transfiguration field. It was taught by Professor Minerva McGonagall, Head of House Gryffindor and the Deputy Headmistress. She was strict, telling them straight away that anyone who fools around will never be allowed to step in her class as it was dangerous. But she did make everyone amazed by her animagus transformation from a tabby cat, which steeled Harry's resolve all the more to become one.

Like a spoiled child, he wants everything in the candy store.

Currently, they were asked to turn a matchstick into a needle. It was much harder than it sounds as transfiguration was a step by step process of changing one material into another while changing size and shape as well. Harry, who had been practicing it before, did it in on his first try earning him ten points from the professor. Of course, Hermione seemed to take it as a challenge and started concentrating on it with a new found vigor and doing it getting ten points. Harry, as was becoming usual started helping Padma, who was able to change the material of matchstick into silver by the end of the class earning her five points as well.

Harry flexes his academic superiority, Hermione whimpers into second place, and Padma earns third by virtue of Harry’s graciously given assistance. Is every lesson going to be like this, author?

Eventually, he got around to trying multiple transfigurations. It took awhile to learn, but as he practiced he got faster after each consecutive attempt. By the end of the class, he was able to change ten matchsticks into needles at a time and back again without too much difficulty, which earned him another ten points.

After that, there were no more classes as they returned to their common room to relax and some to start working on their homework, after having dinner. Harry internally mused the changes that already appeared in the students after these two days still lying on his bed.

In two days, already some have started forming groups. Anthony and Terry had become one, so did Lisa and Amanda. Padma and Su were one as well who tried to include Hermione and Cassiopeia but the latter remained polite while aloof and the other buried herself in books. Harry was on talking terms with everyone except Hermione and Cassiopeia, one because she didn't want to get away from her books and the other because both were wary of each other. But Padma had started to become a friend of sorts for Harry.

We’re told so, so it must be true. The sad thing is, I don’t think the author has any friends to know how they would interact.

Harry stopped his musings and moved to get a shower and change into something comfortable. He took his sweet time as he showered and came out wearing nothing as he normally did as he put his new clothes on his bed. Harry was still drying his hair as he didn't see Padma was in his room. He was startled by a loud squeak, quickly moving the towel Harry was greeted by the sight of Padma covering her face in the bed curtain.

See, author, a friend would announce their presence when entering someone else’s private room. They would usually have a reason for being there, that doesn’t involve contrived and inappropriate exposure. What is she even doing in the male dorms; trying to lose house points?

Deciding to be a bit cheeky, Harry said "I didn't know you are a voyeur Padma, you naughty girl," He covered himself in the towel he used to dry his hair.

"I wasn't- I didn't know!" Padma squeaked and stuttered out.

"Haha, it's fine, you can look now," Harry said, Padma turned around only to let out a loud "eep" and turn around again.

"Oh come on, this is nothing," Harry said as he put on his clothes. "Alright now I am fully clothed, sheesh Padma, what kind of gutter is your mind in?"

The one the author is digging while using you as a tool.

"You shouldn't run around naked!" Padma said with a huff as she turned around, still with a blush on her face. Of course for Padma, Harry's well-toned body, which while didn't have any six packs, dripping water droplets was easily an arousing scene.

Please, won’t someone remember they’re children?

"My room, my rules. Now, what can I do for you?"

"I came by to ask if we could study for the potions class we have tomorrow since the prefect told us that the professor will ask questions," Padma said.

"Sure take your books and come here, we can study for it. I have some chocolate frogs I bought from the train."

Except he didn’t buy diddly squat when he was the Express. He was too busy ogling the three girls in his compartment.

"Okay, I will be right back," with that, Padma left. The rest of the day was spent going through the potion books with Padma and after she left, Harry got to work on his charms book.

He had learned that a new skill Spell Codex, which was basically a collection of all the spells he knew, had been added to the [Knowledge Bank] skill tree which leveled up as he learned new spells and it also seems to help with his occlumency as once he learned the spell properly, he could recall it and its uses quickly. Also, the things he found out about the spells are also added in, like 'wingardium leviosa' is the levitation spell geared to floating feathers and if he adds the Latin name of the object with 'leviosa' he could easily handle levitating other objects more easily than using the same spell.


He isn’t even inconvenienced by the effort of having to remember what he learns now. When will he be relieved of the burden of breathing?

You have slept in your bed. HP & MP restored to 100%. All negative status effects and ailments have been cured.

"Ah yes," Professor Snape said softly when he reached Harry's name during roll calling, "Harry Potter..our new celebrity."

With that one dialogue, Harry knew that his entire potion class for the seven years if he chooses to take it after OWLS, would be utterly irritating and useless for him. Professor Severus Snape, Head of House Slytherin and potions master seemed to have a bone to pick with him. Harry was at first impressed by the professor's dramatic entrance with his cloak billowing. But one look from him, Harry realized this would be one of those classes and teacher he would dread to go to.

Then why not use some of your inflated brain stats and early maturity to straighten out the issue with the man? Oh right, canon railroad is in effect, forget I said anything.

Harry was bombarded with questions as soon as the register was called out. Luckily for Harry, he had already gone through his potions book and was thus able to answer all of them. Snape then proceeded to put them on creating a boil cure potion. Harry and Padma paired up for the job as Padma was weak at potions.

Is she good at anything, or is Harry just going to carry her through the entire year?

As soon as the class was over, Harry quickly made his way out of the dungeon to escape from the oppressive feeling he got from the professor. He was able to brew the potion to perfection, so he only got a sneer from Snape.

Today all the first years had flying class after lunch, which Harry was most looking forward to. He knew his father was a good flyer and played for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He also wanted to try for his house team next year as first years were not allowed to play.

All the first years were lined up in two lines, each having a broom by their side, the students on the two lines facing each other. A witch with white, sparky, electrified hair and yellow hawk-like eyes and the body of a physical fitness trainer came down and walked along the middle of the two lines returning the greeting she received from the students. The witch was Madam Xenorma Hooch.

Her first name is Rolanda, author. Google is free. And before your cock puppet gets any bright ideas, she’s at least eighty years old.

"Good Evening, now stand close to your broom, extend your hand towards it and say 'UP'," she instructed.

Evening? When do you typically have lunch, author?

Harry did so and the broom jumped into his hands. Harry could feel the broomstick and the magic it held. Soon everyone had a broom in their hand, some who gave up shouting and picking it up with their hand. Soon Madam Hooch had them slowly hover over the ground and follow her like young ducklings following their mother duck.

Neville Longbottom somehow managed to get himself knocked off his broom, falling some good height, luckily only breaking his arm thanks in part to several statues that slowed down his descent by locking on his robes. Madam Hooch immediately went to check on Neville, ordering the students to land on the ground.

It was then that Harry saw Draco knocking his sister off of her broom. It was a good height more than from where Neville fell from and was sure to give a grievous injury, if not life-threatening. Without hesitating Harry launched himself after her falling form, only catching her in the nick of time.

Why parrot the original plot if Neville’s remembrall is going to be overshadowed by an out of nowhere attempted fratricide?

Harry was moving at a breakneck speed as he zoomed towards the falling form of Cassiopeia. The old broom strained under him, trying to move at a speed it was no longer capable of. It gave out puffs and screeching noises as some of its bristles were torn away from the broom by the wind. But Harry didn't let up as he moved closer as she fell. 50 feet, 40, 30, 20, 10, 7 and 'slam' Harry got her as he pushed his broom further so as not to crash into the ground himself with her in his hands. The broom wobbled and jerked as he sped across the ground with Cassiopeia in his hand. After some more time of more jerking, Harry got the broom under control.

And now that another female mannequin sculpted by the author’s eager hands has fallen into Harry’s lap, let’s see what Nimuae’s next roommate looks like in needlessly flowery detail.

All through Harry's stunt, the girls were screaming, boys gasping and Madam Hooch standing shocked to the bones with the injured Neville on her hand.

Harry was oblivious to it all as his concentration was on the beautiful lady in his hands. The fact that Cassiopeia was stunningly beautiful only dawned on him then, in that situation where he was holding her in his arms in the sky. If not for the broom, it might have looked like a scene from the comic book Harry read once called Superman.

He looked into her stormy grey eyes, drinking in her features in the evening sunlight that streamed through the sky. She had blonde hair streaked with black among them, which seemed to hide behind her blonde locks, Harry could tell from such an intimate position that it was not a dye. Her blonde hair glowed in the evening sunlight, giving a nice contrast to her black hair. Her ample body was hidden by her robes but not from his touch. Harry's budding hormones were waking up to the mesmerizing show and feel he got from carrying her. Harry quickly shook himself out of his hormone-induced stupor and asked, "Are you okay?"

Why don’t you grope her harder and ask again, creep?

She only nodded her head in response, probably still in shock of her imminent dance with death. Her skin which was pale was much paler than usual because of the fright. Harry smoothly glided his broom back to the ground and he used Observe on her while doing so;

Cassiopeia Malfoy - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 10

HP : 500/500

MP : 340/340

STR : 12

VIT : 15

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 22

WIS : 17

CHR : 15

LUC : 6

KAR : 0

Cassiopeia Malfoy is the daughter of Lord Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black. Draco Malfoy is her twin brother. Her father and brother hate her and sees her more as a valuable object than as a person. She is cared for only by her mother.

We couldn’t possibly have an icky male antagonist have good standings with Harry’s potential love interest. That would complicate the narrative, i.e. the author’s paper-thin excuses to have his fantasies fulfilled.

She is wary of Harry. She feels indebted to him. She wants to be his friend.

Harry landed with Cassiopeia in his hand to the squeals of girls and cheers of boys. As soon as he let Cassiopeia go into the waiting hands of Hooch, Harry received two new messages.

New Perk Obtained!

Knight In Shining Armor : Your charisma receives a permanent +5 stat points. Girls will swoon around you. Flirting receives a +10 % boost.

New Skill Created!

Broomstick Flying - Active - Lvl 1 (4/5)

The ability to use a broom to fly and do amazing stunts with it.

(5 + 40%) handling on a broomstick

What is the point of listing all these arbitrary percentage boosts, if we don’t see their effect whenever he uses the skills? I’m not saying we should see it, I’m saying the author is an idiot.

Harry quickly closed it confused whether to be pleased or angry at it and smiled sheepishly to the crowd as Madam Hooch commented on his excellent flying skill but berated him for his recklessness. Cassiopeia gave a grateful smile as she followed Madam Hooch to the infirmary. Harry smiled back as he internally vowed to be her friend and to protect her from her father and brother. By the time the commotion settled down, Harry knew that he had a new title among the girls of Hogwarts now.

Neville’s remembrall was removed from the plot and Draco got away with everything without as much as a house point deduction. The author achieved what he wanted from the scene and fucking left it.


Max character count has been reached. Damn the author's propensity for long-winded chapters. Continuing in the next post.

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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sat Oct 26, 2019 8:05 am

Back to the nonsense yet again.


That day after the class ended, Harry invited Cassiopeia to the library along with Padma and Su. She was hesitant at first but Harry's insistence on the matter caused her to give in. It became apparent that Cassiopeia or Theia as she liked to be called, was good at potions.

I do hope she’s better at it than picking nicknames for herself. What is wrong with “Cass”?

So they swapped their work for inspection. Harry checked the charms work, Padma checked transfiguration, Theia checking potions while Su checked DADA. Su may be shy but her knowledge in DADA was impressive to the group.

After doing their work, Harry checked out some second-year charms books while Padma took Astronomy books since she loved stargazing and wanted to impress their professor. Speaking of stargazing, all of the males of Hogwarts loved stargazing as well, but in their case, it was ogling the young professor Aurora Sinistra, who had olive skin and black hair with chocolate brown eyes. Her curvy figure and fit body had become the fantasies of many males of Hogwarts, including Harry.

Speaking of botched non-sequiturs, what is the author’s obsession with objectifying every named female character of passing attractiveness? Does he not have enough masturbation aid as it is?

All of them went back to the Nest, as was the name used for their common room, where Padma brought out her wizarding chess set, which she had brought with her to Hogwarts. She explained that she liked chess over other wizarding games since it kept the mind sharp.

That and someone has to substitute for Ron during the end of the first year plot.

A game like exploding snap was all about quick reflexes, which her sister always beat her at, she admitted somewhat bitterly.

Harry was amazed by the animations of the chess pieces; they would moan or curse whenever they moved into danger or were destroyed by an enemy piece.

This would become their routine in the evening in the week to come. Soon they became a tight-knit group of friends in the weeks that followed. They always gathered in the library for working out any and all assignments that were given and even having small study sections as well. After completing their workload, they would sit down and discuss their lessons and different theories, while pointing out each other's mistakes or misconceptions. They would also talk about the latest stories in the Hogwarts rumor mill, all over a game of chess before retiring to their beds to repeat the cycle the next day.

Saturday morning, Harry woke up at 5:30 am to do his run around the Quidditch pitch.

But how could he possibly wake up, if we haven’t been obnoxiously told that he slept in a bed?

He chose Saturday and Sunday for this since few people got up so early on weekends. Harry ran five laps and then went for a swim in the black lake, where he met the gentle but giant squid. Harry truly enjoyed the workout.

What does it do for him, aside from facilitating the author’s vicarious dream of having good cardio?

Afterwards, he showered and went for breakfast with his friends and from there each went their separate way. Padma to hang out with her sister, Su for whatever she had to do and Theia to meet up with Daphne and Tracy.

For Harry, it was time to start his search for the place the founders have told him. The room they had created together, the Room of Requirement, which was the key towards finding their treasure rooms. But alas, search he did, found the room he did not. At least the search wasn't entirely wasteful as he found a number of abandoned classrooms where he can learn magic and practice it without interruption.

Because it’s not like he could already do that with Instant Dungeons or anything. Why would he need to use the abilities he has anyway?

In the evening Harry met with his friends again as they returned to their daily routine. This set the tone for the gang's entire week.

Three weeks later

In the three weeks that passed, Harry had gotten closer to his three friends.

Given Harry’s reprehensible character, witnessing such a thing happening would have been unbelievable. So of course, the only option the author has is to inform us about it in post.

Padma has become especially close, while Theia has started to open up and trust him more. Su was silent, but blunt when needed to be. It became apparent that she was not shy, just that she only spoke when it was required by her or when she needed. Her open and blunt statements attested to that.

Harry has missed Nimuae, but it was her decision to stay back in the mansion, keeping Tilly company. In her own words, Harry needed to find more mates and with her around he would not do so.

Or maybe the author completely forgot to utilize Harry’s pocket waifu in any way. He then realized it was outright neglect, and now has to excuse her disappearance – endowing her with free will and making their relationship open for Harry to rope in more girls for his collection.

Thinking about her put a smile on his face, and for the first time, Harry wanted Christmas to come early.

However, Harry was currently sitting in his Head of House's office, waiting for their meeting to start. The chair itself was bit small for his taste, so he decided to do something about it. Standing up, Harry used his Spell Codex to bring up the necessary spell, tapping his wand on the chair he said, "Engorgio", causing it to grow into a comfortable size.

Behind him, he heard clapping and turning he saw Prof. Flitwick clapping excitedly seeing him perform the charm. "Most impressive Mr. Potter, take ten points for performing a second-year charm."

Flitwick is handing out more tips than a lottery winner at a strip club. I know he’s the perfect height for it, but that’s not an excuse to have him kiss ass.

"Thank you, Professor" Harry replied.

"Please, take a seat," Flitwick said gesturing to the chair Harry had just enlarged, with a smile on his face.

"Would you like some tea or perhaps some biscuit?" the tiny wizard offered.

"Thanks but I am full, but I will take you up on that tea though," Harry replied politely, accepting the cup and taking a sip.

What, no charisma stat increase for being polite?

"Now let's get started shall we?" the professor said in a cheerful voice, "I'm sure you're wondering what this is about. This is merely a way for me to get to know the new students and connect with them. Since you have been performing so well I decided to begin with you. It also helps build trust, so I can better advise you on your educational choices," he continued "So are you enjoying your stay at Hogwarts? Is it up to your expectations?"

"Hogwarts itself is beautiful," Harry said with a smile. "I had read a bit about it before coming, but seeing it myself, simply put; the books don't do it justice."

Yes, the castle is pretty, Harry. But unlike your girlfriends, it is what’s on the inside that counts, so answer the man’s actual question.

"Hmm, wonderful," the professor chirped happily, "Many students tend to think that. It's the reason we have the first years enter Hogwarts for the first time the way they do, it adds to the school's beauty and sets the tone."

"Now let's talk about classes and what you think about them. I know you are performing well above the expectations in my class and most of my fellow teachers say the same about you in their classes," Flitwick continued with a smile.

And he needed to catch up with his peers before coming here. Bullshit!

"What do you think of your lessons?"

Weighing up how to word his response before replying, "The best way I can put it would be that I have mixed feelings. Some lessons are a disappointment, such as History and Defence where both teachers are horrible. It's getting to the point that I am considering skipping the lessons and doing independent study in the library. Whereas others have been enjoyable. However I do find some classes to be unchallenging," Harry finished hoping his answer wasn't cocky or arrogant.

His concern is with how his answer to an opinion question is perceived rather than how it would be honest. The mental processes of this automaton are infuriating.

"Ok Harry, tell me what classes do you find unchallenging?"

"No disrespect intended, but I find both yours and Prof. McGonagall's classes unchallenging. As you saw earlier I am already into second year charms and I spent most of last Saturday going through all the first year charms, making sure that I could cast them effectively. Mastering them now is just a matter of time, likewise with most of the transfiguration materials."

"Simply put, I expect I could take the second year exam for both subjects by this summer without much difficulty. You yourself saw part of my charms work," Harry said tapping the chair.

Why did you go to Hogwarts, Harry? You’re learning spells that aren’t being taught to you. Give us a reason aside from a ready access to schoolgirls!

"The rest, I am finding reasonable enough. That said, the negative so far is the potions class, more specifically Prof. Snape's attitude towards me. I find it most unprofessional, especially when you consider this is a place meant for learning," Harry said, "I understand the need for having a strict classroom work ethic, but the attitude is not required."

Have you tried talking with the man? I know it’s not going to work, but your lack of attempt says a lot.

The professor just nodded in agreement before speaking, "Prof. Snape's attitude has often been considered a problem by many students and parents, but the Headmaster requires him. The depth of his Knowledge is unquestioned and finding someone of his skill is a rare thing," he said with a smile before continuing. "Defence and History have been having problems for many years. Budget cuts and policy have led to their decline because even though Hogwarts is not under the Ministry of Magic, it still has to listen to them. The best I can advise is independent study and if you have problems with Defence ask me. I am sure I can help direct your development, after all in my youth I was known to be quick with my wand." The professor's wand suddenly appeared in his hand, before returning to its holster.

"Thank you for your offer, I may take you up on it sometime in the future since I have an interest in developing my own dueling style."

An interest he developed just now, which totally won’t seem odd for a child to have.

"That might be possible in a couple of years. How are you enjoying the time outside of the classroom? I hope the commotion due to you being the Boy-Who-Lived was minimal and has died down by now. I know you are close with Padma, Cassiopeia, and Su." the professor asked.

"It was quite uncomfortable at the beginning, but it has declined since the day I was sorted. My fellow Ravens are good and yes I do like the company of my friends. They have been good for me," Harry replied with a fond smile on his face.

Of course they have. He hand-picked them while considering which students would be useful to him. This self-centered asshole really gets on my nerves.

"That's good, now what other interest do you have?"

"I've started reading some basic Ancient Runes texts on theory and everything since they have many practical usages. And I like anything that challenges me or tests me," Harry replied.

"Most interesting, I am sure our local Rune Mistress will be keen to meet you in your third year." his Head of House said causing Harry to flush a bit in embarrassment.

He should be embarrassed, but not because the author found another female teacher for him to perv on. Study of Ancient Runes is a language course not a practice of spells, and yet every wish fulfillment fanfic decides otherwise.

"Now my senior prefects have told me you haven't been turning up to the group study sections, may I ask why?"

"To be honest, I don't need their help, since all assignments so far are very basic. Why waste two hours going over an essay I have already written to an 'O' level? I prefer to focus my energy elsewhere, plus I don't want to waste the prefect's time when they can spend it helping people who actually need assistance." Harry knew it was a bit arrogant, but he was not going to lie.

A bit arrogant?! You’re claiming that your schoolwork is perfect! It might be, but that is not for you to decide, you pompous dolt!

"Fair point, your charms essays themselves have been at an outstanding level. I don't think you have missed a single point since you started in my class. Maybe it would be for the best to assign a single prefect to monitor your studies, and assist you if you need it," Flitwick stated.

Let me guess, the prefect will have a vagina. Need I justify my assumption to you?

"That's fine as long as he or she doesn't slow me down. I'd rather I didn't have to explain myself," he said jokingly causing the professor to chuckle as well.

"You do have your mother's thirst for knowledge as well as your fathers confidence Mr. Potter," Flitwick said as he hopped off from his chair and removed a rather large and dusty tome from the large bookshelf near his desk, before taking his seat again.

Did he take it from the bottom shelf, or does he have a ladder?

"I hope I have gained enough of your trust that you can come to me if you feel you are not being tested sufficiently. I must cut this wonderful meeting short though for I have a lesson starting in the next couple of minutes. However take this book," he said with a smile before handing over the book.

He then stood abruptly and headed towards the door and opened it for Harry, "I hope my copy of 'Charms: More Than Making Things Float!' challenges you further," he said continuing. "I hope however that you will keep it quiet, I would rather not have my NEWT students swarming me trying to get their copies," Flitwick said with another smile. "Just return it when you have read it to its full potential," he finished with a chuckle, leaving a stunned Harry as he existed the office.

And here I thought, that with two authors, the spelling mistakes would be nonexistent.

Leaving the office quickly, Harry made his way to his dorm, eager to begin reading the tome his Head of House had provided.

While Harry was immersed in the new book, the charms professor came to a decision on who Harry's mentor will be. His fifth-year charms class came to an end, where he called out to the prefect for the position. "Miss Clearwater please stay behind. The rest of you are dismissed, but remember to read the next two chapters."

His reasons for selecting Penelope Clearwater were simple.

Quite so. Now what will the author try to hide them behind?

First, it would give one of his prized Ravens a chance to focus on her OWLS, due to her having only one student to mentor rather than having to take part in leading a study group.

Second, she had a lot to gain if a friendship occurred. It would help her after leaving Hogwarts to have a head of an Ancient and Noble House supporting her. He knew it was often hard for his female students to find respectable careers in the magical world. The magical world was a male-dominated society, and it was especially difficult for muggleborns, despite them often getting better grades than their pureblood counterparts.

Sexist patriarchy takes the fall for the author wanting another pair of tits to orbit his protagonist. If I found hypocrisy funny, this would make me laugh.

Penelope followed her diminutive Head of House to his office, before making her way to the chair in front of his desk, which seemed to be larger than the last time she was here. After sitting down, she looked on as Prof. Flitwick called on a house elf to serve them refreshments.

Flitwick, after thanking the elf, started, "I am sure you are interested in why I asked you to stay behind. But first I have to ask if you had finished reading the book I gave you at the beginning of the term?"

Penny recalled the book he gave her, which was written by the professor himself.

Flitwick certainly is a giver. First he gives Harry a school book for free, and now his memoirs too.

It had been shocking to learn how backward English Wizarding society was. Magical society seems to be stuck in 1700's, where positions were often bought through family connections. Prestige and money were considered much more important than raw talent. With enough money, you could get away with murder, provided you have the right connections.

And a large amount of the society was controlled by a small group of individuals, who controlled the laws, employment rights and positions within the government. Also, no muggleborn had ever risen to be the head of any of the important departments of the Ministry of Magic. The best she could hope for was to be a high ranking secretary, of a rather unimportant department head. It had been sickening to learn how limited her future was without the right connections.

Corruption exists, so what? That’s going on in today’s society, too. Also, no, you dunderhead, there has been a muggleborn minister, his name was Nobby Leach. What is this clunky world re-building getting at, author?

Also, to learn that many of her less talented peers would be favored over her due to their blood status and gender. She was just above werewolves in status which was truly disheartening. Simply put, being a muggleborn and a witch meant most purebloods saw her as a pair of legs for their entertainment and pleasure.

Most wizards would expect her to stay at home to take care of children and be a homemaker. It gave her vision's of Percy's mother, who seemed nice, if a bit controlling. But she wanted more out of her life and this also made her question the true intention of most of her male friends.

The book also helped in explaining the sneers and smirks she got from her some of her male yearmates, who obviously knew that if she wanted to go anywhere in her career 'favors' would be expected from her.

Looking across the table, she saw her Head of House waiting for a response. "Yes, the book you provided me was an eye-opener. I had no idea how backward the Ministry was."


This shit is wrong in so many ways, I struggle to pick which to examine first. Let’s start by reiterating what the author wants us to believe just happened here. We’re told that Flitwick wrote a book. This book, without a given title or subject, somehow chronicles the societal stagnation of the Wizarding World, explaining how the Ministry is an oligarchic patriarchy cesspool of corruption, nepotism, sexism, and racism, where a woman is at the bottom rung of the social ladder. Concerned with the future of his young female students, Flitwick gave this book to, as far as we know, only one of them. Penelope, formerly naïve to the inner workings of magical society, had the veil of ignorance lifted from her eyes by reading this book. That’s what we’re meant to understand from all of this. Now, on to what actually happened.

Flitwick wrote a manifesto, its contents unfounded by facts and holding conclusions that fly in the face of reality. Yes, corruption is a thing, you can’t find a political system without it. But the egregious amount of sexism is a ridiculously exaggeration. The ministry has existed for three hundred years, and for the last two hundred of them there have been female ministers. In fact, just short of half of the ministers for that period were female. Flitwick then handed this propaganda piece to one of his students, for the purpose of grooming an impressionable child to share his political beliefs. And Penelope swallowed every words of it like gospel without the thought to fact check the nonsense handed to her. That’s what happened. But why did it happen?

The author wants his avatar to be a pillar of outstanding virtue. Harry must be the most attractive, most beneficial partner for the opposite gender. But since the author doesn’t know what women finds attractive, he must make the rest of the world deplorable. The entirety of magical society, in which canon explored societal impacts of race but not gender, has just been turned into a sexist shithole, just so the author can excuse Harry getting female attention for being a nice guy. All of this dumped by a suddenly historically and politically aware Flitwick, not as a revelation to the protagonist, but as an excuse to the readers as to how Harry will be allowed a female tutor. This bit of sexism profiteering narrative contrivance is goddamn disgusting.

"I hope you understand I gave them to you in hopes that you will be better prepared when you leave Hogwarts," taking a sip from his cup he continued. "However, I may have found a possible solution for you."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked curiously.

"Well, as you know from the section in the books about peerages and their role in our government, the backing of the Head of an Ancient and Noble House could be beneficial for you. And to that point, Ravenclaw is currently hosting a soon to be Lord, who is more famous than any one student in Hogwarts," Flitwick answered.

Hey, you know this prejudicial system you’ve been told about? Let’s abuse it instead of fighting against it.

"You mean Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived?" Penny asked.

"Indeed, not only is he famous for having that title, but he is also the next Lord Potter of the Ancient and Noble House of Potter. Which means, after Hogwarts you can have the backing of the most influential wizard in our society," he replied while continuing. "Mr. Potter has proven himself to be more talented than his peers, as well as having the potential for great things like his mother and father."

Penny just nodded to show that she was following along, but she was wondering where the professor was heading with all this.

Flitwick is endorsing you doing everything we’ve been told women are expected to do to get ahead in society. It’s not what the author thinks he’s doing, but it sure sounds like it.

"He does not feel the need to attend the study section, and I agree with him. He has proven himself to be far above the average Raven and I expect him to receive two masteries before he leaves Hogwarts," Filius explained causing a shocked look to appear on Penny's face.

The comment about Harry's potential had stunned Penny because it was rare for an individual to even attain one mastery, let alone multiple masteries. To hear that her Head of House expected him to manage at least two meant he had high hopes indeed.

Or that he’s delusional. Much like the author, in fact.

Looking back at her amused professor she asked, "What does this have to do with me?"

"It means that I am hoping you will accept my request for you to be Mr. Potter's mentor. Simply put, I will excuse you from doing study sessions with the lower years so that you can supervise his studying. It will give you more time for your own studies for the coming OWLS exams," Flitwick answered, hoping that the girl would make the connection between the book he gave her and the opportunity he was presenting in aiding the future Lord's education.

Seeing the still clueless face of his student, Flitwick decided to be a bit more obvious, "Traditionally, the Potter family has always been forward thinking and rarely cares about blood purity. Harry himself was raised in the non-magical world and also had a muggleborn mother, I am sure you can see the potential of gaining possible alliance, or your gaining protection of his house early on before his Lordship is announced. I'm sure some of the more politically aware students of Slytherin house are already aware of the possible alliance with Mr. Potter."

It’s like the author thinks friendship is some kind of debt system or another game mechanic that’s meant to be exploited. It’s sad. And hilarious. But mostly sad.

Penny suddenly understood what her professor had been hinting at through the conversation and silently cursed herself for taking so long to catch on. Quickly realizing just how much it could help her by being on good terms with young Lord in years to come. And he is the Boy-Who-Lived, who defeated the dark lord and his mother was muggleborn, which means he won't be dismissive of her, unlike most of his counterparts.

Most of his counterparts aren’t being piloted by a sexually insecure writer, so yeah.

Looking at the professor, she could see he had been following her thought process, so she answered, "It seems a waste not to encourage his talent and skills, I look forward to being able to direct his development."

Flitwick just nodded, "I hope you realize the opportunity you've been presented with and the additional benefits that could arise from tutoring him. Now since our business is done, I must return to my marking," dismissing her.

Penny got up and started making her way to the door before she turned around saying a heartfelt, "Thank you."

Yes, Flitwick, thank you for being a tool for the author to further the self-interests of his self-insert protagonist.

Flitwick looked up from his papers at Penny who was standing near the door, "Don't thank me yet. I just suggested a possible path that could benefit you both, but it is up to you to win the lad's friendship," he said, returning back to his marking. As she left, Prof. Flitwick thought about his bright young witch, who also happened to be a muggleborn. But in her case, he hoped she comes to be young Mr. Potter's friend, without any assistance from him. Of course, he planned to give her the same book he gave Miss Clearwater, but having Harry as a friend by that time would only be to her benefit.

It’s in every female’s best interest to be as close to Harry as possible, we fucking get it! It’s bad enough that Harry is reeling in girlfriends left and right, it’s tiring to read the excused justifications for each and every one of them!

Penelope headed straight for the library, to learn about the Potter family, remembering the fact that Harry would probably be a Lord someday, and that it was best if she at least tried to learn something of his family's recent history, so she wouldn't make an utter fool of herself or screw herself over and ruin her chances by saying the wrong thing. On her way, she could feel the gazes of many males lingering on her ass, while it was flattering, she hated it now knowing their true intentions.

Meanwhile, the author’s intentions have been known all along, and I wish he would stop waterboarding us with them by projecting them onto the antagonists.

Harry was currently reading his way through the book his Head of House had given him. The book focused on how simple charms can be used for unintended purposes, such as combat while giving examples of how combining mundane charms could cause unexpected and sometimes lethal effects.

Basically, the book was about how simple charms can be turned into combat capable spells for using in dueling and personal defense. The advantage is this was that clever usage of simple spells required less power, over some more energy expensive dueling spells.

Tactics like using an overpowered cooking charm on an individual will cause severe burns, muscle damage, as well as creating similar, but weaker effects to that of a blood boiling curse. But these simple spells are easy to heal and counter, leaving no long-term damage and are not illegal to use on another wizard. Simply put, the book encourages a devious mind in the cunning usage of overlooked, common spells to devastating effect. They would be especially dangerous when used with silent casting, where your foe wouldn't immediately recognize the danger the spell presented.

In other words, the author thinks he has come up with clever ideas for spell usage, and is now serving them to his protagonist. Wouldn’t the problem with using simple charms be that they could be countered in similar simple ways? You try to use an over-clocked heating charm; a cooling charm would cancel it out. What would be the point?

Harry really hoped in the years to come that Prof. Flitwick would agree to teach him dueling, even if the style was not effective for him. Because no matter how you look at it, simply being able to learn from a master duelist who relied on skill over direct power would help him develop his own skills in dueling. Additionally, it would help prepare him for other wizards who use similar style. However, his musings were ended when he heard a light tapping sound on his bedroom window.

Making his way over to the window, he saw that there was a Gringotts Bank owl trying to get in. Opening the window, he let the owl in, who deposited the letter on his bed, before quickly disappearing through the window.

And now Harry gets his mail delivered to his personal chambers instead of at the breakfast table. Is this another Ravenclaw privilege, or is this because he’s the main character?

Breaking the seal he read the short message inside;

The previously discussed and agreed upon investments have been made. I also made a number of smaller deals similar to the ones undertaken during the summer. They should prove profitable. I will discuss this with you on your next scheduled visit to the bank.

May your gold flow and your enemies bleed.


Senior Account Manager

Smiling at the news Harry thought the goblin was doing a good job.

The author is doing a good job at bloating this chapter with needless shit. Why are we meant to care about Harry’s finances?

He had looked over the Potter investment portfolio during the summer holidays and was very interested in reopening the Potter Docklands which had been a major cash cow for his family before the last war and the death eater attacks which resulted in its destruction after several raids. Along with the redevelopment of the Potter holdings surrounding the Docklands, which could possibly be rented out to new businesses. Frankly, it would give London's Diagon alley some serious competition if redeveloped correctly..and all of it under his and his families control. Of course, he had to do it eventually as it also became a quest when he thought about it;

A quest has been created.

So we’re not even pretending these exist before Harry thinks about them now? It’s about time.

Quest Alert!

City Builder : Build a Magical City!

Reopen the Potter Docklands

Redevelop the surrounding area of Docklands in Edinburgh

Build Edinburgh Magical City


1,000,000xp each for completing each target

New Title - City Builder

8,000,000 galleons




Destruction of Potter Family Holdings and Docklands



I wish the author had a quest of making a good fanfic, because judging from the failure conditions it would have, I wouldn’t be having this much of a headache!

Harry accepted it even though the scale of the quest was large, he did it because doing so helped in completing the quest for rebuilding the Potter fortune.

He was already considering asking Bloodfist about it, as soon as the current businesses were sorted and fixed, to make preliminary moves to reopen the alley and docks again. He was pretty certain that businesses would return to the area if the right incentives were placed to entice them, such as low rent for a fixed period of time or a percentage of their profits, and prime shop position on the magical high street.

Oh yeah, I’m sure the place that was decimated as a direct target by a terrorist attack will attract people like flies to honey.

But first, he would discreetly buy up the old businesses and other real estate in the area he could get ahold of, both magical and non-magical, whilst the land value was still low and before anyone realized his plans for the redevelopment of the area. After all, if anyone found out it would drive up the land value, decreasing the potential profit. Considering the money he would be sinking into the place and the political obstacles he'd need to overcome to make it a reality, he wanted to control as much of it as he could before he even started.

Harry Potter: Business Tycoon. Shut up about the wealth accumulation already!

He knew Bloodfist would be supportive and more than willing to try; this project could very well triple the yearly revenue currently flowing into the Potter vaults if not more, improving the goblin's own prominence and position in the bank.

Naturally, he would try to buy a good percentage of the surrounding real estate under the Debonair name to help prevent the people from connecting the dots. However he would have to be careful; he doubted that other powerful families, especially the ones who stole from him and those who have business interests in Diagon Alley, would take kindly to seeing their profits decrease with the opening of another magical shopping alley much less a magical city.

It would take time and allies, but he was young and patient. His hours of grinding imparted the true value of patience in him. He just needed to plan out his moves carefully and gather the right set of allies and supporters while taking advantage of every opportunity, including the title of Boy-Who-Lived, as it became available.

Exploit everything! The only gains that matters are your own! Fuck friendship unless you want to fuck your friends! What monsters imparted these values upon you, author?

Noticing the time on the clock, it was time for dinner and he had agreed to meet with Hagrid after it, he wanted to hear more stories about his parents, so he hurried out of his dorm to get dinner.

After finishing his dinner, Harry made his way down the worn stone path to the Groundskeeper's hut, as darkness started engulfing the sky and the sun steadily set for the evening. The hut was a modest home, but it was warm and friendly like the Groundskeeper himself and had that natural earthly feel about it.

The evening slowly ticked by as Hagrid introduced his dog named Fang to him and told him stories of his parents. The rock cake Hagrid gave him seems to be edible only for people like Hagrid, taking after its name.

What are you even saying? That giants eat rocks? What?

Finally, after several stories, he got around to asking why he named the dog 'Fang', the half-giant replied fondly with an easy smile, "It gives him courage," before patting the dog with surprising gentleness on its brow.

This lead to a whole other series of discussion about all the magical creatures Hagrid had met. Hagrid told Harry about the giant squid in the lake, which Harry admitted have seen, the grindylows, the mermen, the centaurs in the forest, who keep the unicorns safe. And of course the Headmasters phoenix, which Harry was very interested as he remembered about how he can evolve his Hedwig to one using Holy fire.

I hope Hagrid admonished Harry for the idea of setting his pet bird on fire, just because some imaginary pop-up window told him he should.

Sadly Hagrid had never heard of any holy fire. Hagrid also told him he would like to have a dragon as a pet one day. This lead Harry to ask, "Got any other pets of interest?"

"Only Fluffy, nice dog, really loyal, totally harmless, wouldn't hurt a soul," Hagrid started in explanation whilst taking a gulp of his own drink, "The headmaster asked if he could borrow him for the rest of the year," the groundskeeper exclaimed further with a half smile, as he recalled his pet.

Feeling curious about why would the Headmaster need a dog, he asked again, "Hagrid what kind of dog is Fluffy?"

"Oh Fluffy is just my favorite three-headed dog, you know a Cerberus, right?" He responded in a caring manner gulping down his drink, totally missing the shocked expression on Harry's face.

"I didn't realize they were real. I thought they were fiction from Ancient Greece," He replied quickly, realizing many fictions he read might actually be real. After all, Hagrid just confirmed the existence of Cerberus.

This is what clued you in, and not the fucking tree nymph you saved from a cyclops?!

What else could be out there? Are there Hydras? And to top it all he had made it a game world with his wish, anything is possible now. It suddenly dawned on him that he would have to spend some time in the library reading up about such magical creatures, to fully find out which are real and which are not. It would also help him when he goes dungeon hunting as well as when he faced whatever the founders have put as guards.

“New knowledge, I must exploit it!” This is his reaction every time, and it is getting way past old.

"Nah, Harry," shaking his head, his long beard falling into his giant mug, for him maybe the correct size. "Cerberus have been used for centuries as guard dogs by wizards and witches to guard their treasures. They are far easier to train than other magical creatures, such as dragons. After all, a dragon may just cook you alive," the giant joked, as Harry listened patiently before the groundskeeper pressed on in explanation. "Best a Cerberus will do is bite a limb off, or two, you'll just be unlucky if it gets your head, instead of a leg. You just need to know how to train them," he replied while taking another gulp before continuing on.

“But, err, Fluffy wouldn’t hurt a soul. Totally. Even though Dumbledore borrowed him for that purpose. But he’s harmless. Trust me.”

"Cerberus are just like normal dogs really, extremely loyal, but they are also extremely sensitive to sounds, even more so since they have three pairs of ears," looking at Harry again he said. "You just need to train them from a young age to respond to a set piece of music, so when the instrument is played, the dog calms down and falls right to sleep."

Harry's thinking has moved from the fact that mythical creatures existed to why the Headmaster needed a Cerberus in the first place, just then a quest menu different from the ones he got before popped up;

A chain quest has been added!

Chain Quest Alert!

Mystery of the Third Floor (1/5)!

Where was this during Dumbledore’s welcome speech?

What's up Dog? : Find Fluffy's Job!

Find out why the Headmaster asked Hagrid's pet Cerberus for.



Next Quest in the Chain Quest


Death to you and the Hogwarts students

Possible destruction of world

Fuck off, author, you overdramatic simpleton!

Unlike the other ones, the quest was itself accepted taking the choice away from Harry. He clicked on the chain quest to get info about it.

Chain Quests :

Chain Quests are those life turning quests that you must complete no matter what. It is basically a series of interrelated quests that gets harder as you progress from the first quest of the chain to the last. The rewards for such quest also increase from the first to last, for example, the XP gain will be triple of the previous quest in the chain.


I hate this. Truly. Because here, the author could have an actual caveat to Harry’s cruise control cakewalk of a fucking existence. He tells us that these “chain quests” are imperative for him to complete. He is forced to do them, otherwise he and the world itself will cease to be. As asinine as that is, especially since that would run counter to Voldemort’s ambitions, I’ll roll with it for now. My problem is that the author jacks up the quest reward, as if it could serve as a bigger incentive. The motherfucker will DIE if he doesn’t do this, what more reason does he need?! This would have been so much better, if there wasn’t a reward. Have it be a thankless task, a burden for him as the “hero” to bear, a metaphorical chain to bind him. The author is saddling the twelve-year-old with the fate of the world, and has him protect it for the reward rather than for the sake of actually saving lives! I am fucking livid right now!

Closing, Harry decided to try his luck with Hagrid since he seems to be a bit drunk.

"Hagrid, you never told me what the Headmaster wanted with the Cerberus"

"Oh, that Fluffy is being used as a guard on the third-floor room inside Hogwarts," Hagrid replied somewhat regaining his mental thoughts.

"But why do you need to guard the third floor in the first place?" Harry persisted.

"You don't need to know that Harry, it's between the Headmaster and Nicholas Flamel." Suddenly Hagrid sobered up, muttering, "I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have."

And Harry shouldn’t have wished for the world to be his personal playground either. At least you’re capable of regret, Hagrid.

But Harry wasn't listening as he looked at the messages popped in front of him;

Chain Quest 1/5 Complete!

What's up Dog? : Find Fluffy's Job!



Chain Quest Alert!

Mystery of the Third Floor (2/5)!

Who's that? : Find the mystery man!

Find out who Nicholas Flamel is.



Next Quest in the Chain Quest


Death to you and the Hogwarts students

Possible destruction of world

Harry quickly closing the messages, he turned towards Hagrid, "Hagrid who's Nicholas Flamel?"

"Oh Blimey, look at the time Harry it's almost time for curfew. Back you go Harry and listen, forget what I said about Nicholas Flamel and don't tell anyone I said that would ya?" Hagrid hurriedly pushed Harry out of his house and closed the door saying goodnight.

Climbing the worn stone steps back to the castle, under the huge shadows it cast on the setting sun, Harry missed everything around him as he had only one question in mind;

"Who's Nicholas Flamel?"

I guess he never read the chocolate frog cards that he somehow bought on the Hogwarts Express.


To Outlaw,

No the karma is not based on infamous, Inimicus gave me the idea for it, he may have thought it based on it.

Nope, writing one story is hard enough man :)

Yes, there is a possibility of Karma affecting party recruitment. But not going to spoil any fun explaining it. The karma status has other implications as well, which will be discussed in later chapters.

By discussed, do you mean ham-fistedly wedged into the story in the exact way that will benefit Harry the most? Because I bet you do.

For Dovahchu,

About the NPC characters being the same level or not, are you sure they are all NPC's or are they more? Buhahaha

What do I even say to this that I haven’t already? Harry thinks they are NPCs. Whether or not they actually are is secondary, in my opinion.

Now for Hiei - Uchiha,

About putting money in his vault, Harry hasn't thought about it. And he likes having money on hand. About the weight of money, I made the inventory so that money doesn't have any. Besides he will deposit it before it goes above the range of 600,000. So hope that solves that problem.

Next Chapter - Damsels in Distress)

Oh, fuck me sideways, a white knight chapter. It’s probably Hermione’s run-in with the troll, too. What contrivance is going to make it plural of damsel, though?


On one hand, the amount of videogame exploitation has diminished. On the other, it has been replaced with the author handcuffing girls to his protagonist for the crime of being sexually compatible. And it is a veritable crime spree, as every named female character besides McGonagall seems to peak the author’s interest. Like a demented Rube Goldberg, the author has set up the lines of dominoes and we’re getting closer and closer to the inevitable payoff. I hope it comes soon, because fanfic authors usually loses interest in their story afterward.

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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat Oct 26, 2019 10:59 am

The author wants his avatar to be a pillar of outstanding virtue. Harry must be the most attractive, most beneficial partner for the opposite gender. But since the author doesn’t know what women finds attractive, he must make the rest of the world deplorable. The entirety of magical society, in which canon explored societal impacts of race but not gender, has just been turned into a sexist shithole, just so the author can excuse Harry getting female attention for being a nice guy.
This is a common trend I tend to see in fanfictions, and one that I despise with all my heart. It's the most insecure and lascivious trend that plagued the medium and an admittance that the author writing this is incredibly insecure. Because it's not enough that the self-insert is the kindest, most respectful character in the fic; no, they gotta make all the other men comically sexist pigs because subtly is non-existent to these writers. And let's not mention the double standard of the author decrying a sexist system in their story, all while they have their cock-puppet collect women as if they were baseballs cards. A trend I've noticed in harem fics is that the more participants present in said harem, the less character and respect that each individual participant gets, and this fic is more than shaping up to be another representative of that trend.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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