Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

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StabbyKobold
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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:35 am

And we're back in the game.

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Pressing yes with conviction, Harry turned towards Bloodfist, "I intend to be the richest of them all Bloodfist. Good day, may your gold flow and your enemies bleed," answering he rose from his chair with a calm smile, shocking the manager with his knowledge of their tongue. He thanked his mother for providing books on basic cultural references.

Here’s a cultural reference for you in my tongue. Fuck you! It’s a compliment, trust me.

Finishing his meeting with his account manager, Harry went to his next order of business. The Diagon alley is connected to many other alleys like Knockturn Alley. One of them is Horizon alley which held the building that was Harry's destination. Horizon alley housed many law firms and other related industries and firms, even a library-related wholly to the field of laws and regulations.

'Wizards and their weird sense of puns' Harry thought as he walked through the alley to reach the building, which held the signboard 'Magical Law Inc' in golden red on a red background. The signboard had a feminine touch, same as its workers whom he had heard about.

Heard about from whom and when? Because it sure sounds like the author pulled it all out of his ass just now.

Harry wanted to have a personal lawyer as he got the idea from his father's book. The law firm mentioned in it was long gone, destroyed in the war. Harry had a suspicion it was related to how others stole his family businesses. So he had researched a bit, ask around some shoppers and even his account manager once.

The result was him standing here now, even though 'Magical Law Inc' is a new law firm, it has enough trust value compared to others. The only reason it was not as successful as others were because of pureblood supremacists and their henchmen. This is because the lawyer, Ms. Satellizer L. Bridget, a 20-year-old Hogwarts Alumna, is at odds with her current head of house Charles L. Bridget, who is also her older brother. For some reason, he can't cast her out of the family nor can he control her. Everyone who knows this stays away from the firm fearing repercussion from the Bridget family head and its allies.

I think you’re overestimating my ability to care, author. What I’m reading here, is that you’ve made a female OC whose sole purpose will be to have Harry benefit from them, and he’ll have exclusive access to her – AGAIN!

Everyone except some half-blood and muggleborn magicals and now he himself, if she accepts his proposal that is. Taking a breath to calm himself and to bring up his occlumency to order his mind Harry entered the building.

During his exploration of occlumency, Harry had come to the realization that Gamer's mind was indeed a form of occlumency, only it helped in suppressing emotions and possibly shield his mind. It didn't create a mindscape or help in ordering his mind. So he decided to continue with his occlumency training.

Can the author stop fellating Harry’s powers at every opportunity?

Inside, Harry was greeted by the assistant with a warm smile, but Harry could see the curiosity and mild disbelief in her eyes. "Welcome to Magical Law Inc. How may I help you?" the assistant asked.

"Hello, I am Archer Debonair, I had booked an appointment with Ms. Bridget today. If you could let her know that I am here, that would be most helpful," Harry said quoting the pen name he created for anonymity.

"Very well, why don't you take a seat and I will be right back after checking it with my boss," the assistant said as she turned to climb the stairs to the side, which Harry thought was where the office was. Harry quickly used Observe on the assistant.

Will he ever not? I’m just asking, is no one’s personal life exempt from Harry snooping with his elevator looks?

Levi McGarden - Personal Assistant - Lvl 18

HP : 700/700

MP : 650/650

STR : 14

VIT : 18

DEX : 15

END : 10

INT : 26

WIS : 20

CHR : 18

LUC : 8

KAR : 2

Levi McGarden is a 19-year-old witch, who is a recent graduate and best friend of Satellizer L. Bridget. She is a half-blood and the only living member of McGarden family. She considers Satellizer as her sister and loves her more than a sister should.

She thinks Harry is playing a joke.

The author must be playing one too, by introducing a level eighteen character who is nineteen years old. I guess the birthday level ups are only for protagonists.

Harry wasn't upset about what she thought about him, Who wouldn't when a 12-year-old comes to see a lawyer? So he waited until Levi came back, taking a closer look at the building. It was a moderate building, probably one that they furnished themselves by the feminine touch he could see all around him. The entrance had a welcoming feel to it and Harry felt at ease sitting there.

Author, can you at least convince me you know what a “feminine touch” looks like, let alone how one feels?

Levi came back with a startled smile on her face, "You can go in now, she is waiting for you"

Nodding thanks, Harry went up into the office. Entering the office, Harry was greeted by the regal looking young lady, Ms. Satellizer L. Bridget. She wore a red satin shirt with black business skirt along with black stocking, both of which hugged her curves perfectly, her blonde hair done up in a bun and black sleek glasses, completed the picture of being a serious woman who meant business.

Which is totally why the author put focus on how her clothes fit like latex.

"I didn't expect a 12-year-old to require the assistance of a solicitor if it is for yourself that you are here for that is," she said.

"Others won't expect a 20-year-old pureblood witch to start up a law firm as well," Harry retorted.

I don’t even know why anyone would, if you can save on attorney fees by declaring a Bloodfeud and kill whoever you don’t like.

"Fair enough, I am Satellizer L. Bridget and how may Magical Law Inc be of service to you?" Satellizer said with a touch of respect.

"Before we go to that, first can you clarify something. Whatever I say now will be under client oath is it not?"

"Yes, that is correct. Unless what you say is non-incriminating, I will be under oath to keep your secrets."

I don’t think client confidentially exists before you’re actually a client. This isn’t a confessional.

"Well then let me introduce, or shall I say re-introduce myself first. I am Harry James Potter" Harry said with a small smile as he took down his cap which he donned when he left the bank.

It took a moment for Satellizer to get her wit back, "Well now this is interesting. What does the Boy-Who-Lived want the help of a law firm for?"

"Oh I assure you, I need the help both as the Boy-Who-Lived as well as the last living member of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter"

"Please, enlighten me"

Yes, please give us a reason for being here. Preferably one that doesn’t involve Harry fixing more problems that doesn’t exist.

"I need your help as the lawyer of Boy-Who-Lived for covering all the legal things that come up as part of being a celebrity, like the usage of my name without my consent in books and the like. And as for the last of Potter member, I need you as my personal solicitor" Harry said with confidence.

"You are giving me a big proposal, why didn't you choose any other firms?"

"I would have picked the law firm my family used to deal with, but sadly Wilksher & Co was destroyed in a raid during the last war. As for picking you, you are a pureblood witch which means you know the laws and regulations and other customs yet you are at odds with your brother who supports the Death eater sympathizers. You have the reputation of being trustworthy and being very good at what you do even from the goblins. The question is why wouldn't I?" Harry finished with a coy smile on his lips.

“Plus the author made you a young, hot woman in tight clothes, so there.”

"This used to be the building were Wilksher & Co worked. I bought it after it was left alone."

"Oh, I didn't know that. Anyway, what do you say, do you accept?" Harry asked firmly.

"It's an opportunity I can't pass up and you do qualify as my client type. Let me draw a basic contract and we can modify it after going through it together," Satellizer said as she took some parchment and quill and started scribbling down the basic contract. During this, Harry used Observe on her.

Oh, I bet he did. I bet he did it a lot.

Satellizer L. Bridget - Solicitor - Lvl 35

HP : 3500/3500

MP : 1500/1500

STR : 18

VIT : 24

DEX : 14

END : 17

INT : 35

WIS : 24

CHR : 18

LUC : 10

KAR : 7

Satellizer is the youngest of the three children of the Ancient House of Bridget. She has a brother and a sister and is at odds with both of them. She started hating them when her brother tried to rape her with the help of their elder sister. Ever since then she lives away from her family. Her father's last will stipulation forbids her siblings from directly causing harm to her or lose their status as members of the family.

And just like that, what little intrigue and mystery that surrounded the author’s OC is gone. Spoiler vision strikes again.

Satellizer respects Harry and thinks he will make a fine man some day.

Harry ignored the info about the rape for now as he was only a client and couldn't get personal with her. Maybe in time.

Maybe when a blue window pops up and promises him a reward for exploiting this deeply personal and private information.

She quickly drew up a contract, which was further expanded and modified. In the end, the contract signed gave 200 galleons a month to the firm and court fees according to the cases if any arise. In return, the firm will deal with all legal matters regarding Harry. Both will keep the secrets of other and can disperse the contract if they no longer want to work with each other on the grounds that information and secrets will be kept safe no matter what.

"First let me tell you all you need to know about me so far," Harry said after they both signed the contract. With his Harry explained his current status and his long-term plans for which he needed her to look into the Potter businesses that he lost. Harry also wanted Satellizer to look into who wrote the Harry Potter books and used his name without permission.

Harry Potter and the Name Exploitation Lawsuits!

"I need you to find someone from the Wizarding side who is good at investigation. They have to be good at following a paper trail yet savvy enough not to get caught doing it. Oh and make sure they can defend themselves should something arise. I don't need some poor sod's death on my conscience," Harry said with a bit of a grimace at the last part. "Once you find someone who fits the bill and can be trusted send them to my Account Manager at Gringotts, Bloodfist, to get a list of the properties that were lost. I want the name of the one responsible for betraying my family."

"Just signed and already a pile of work. It seems there won't be much free time now." Satellizer said letting out a breath at the jobs Harry had given to her, " How do I contact you?"

"Let's contact face to face in Christmas, when I can leave Hogwarts and during summer, where I will come to meet you. If it's an emergency then send an owl but I would prefer not to as I already told you about the Headmaster and other suspicious persons around me," Harry replied.

Care to inform the rest of us about those?

"Yes, I can see that it could be a problem. Well, let me find another way for communication. For now, the meetings on Christmas and summer will do. I will probably have a report on the book case by then. The rest will take time."

"I understand and that's fine with me. Well, until Christmas then" Harry rose and kissed lightly on her hand according to the pureblood customs, making her blush slightly.

The twelve-year-old is embarrassing her by playing suave, of course she’s blushing.

"Until Christmas then," She nodded back.

Harry returned back content knowing he did as much as he could towards setting his future. And now Hogwarts awaits.

Sep 1

Harry flooed to platform nine and three quarters on King's Cross station from his manor. He learned about this method of getting there from his father's book.

I should make an inconvenience removal count by the end of this mess.

Reaching there, Harry realized he was an hour early for the ride. There he saw the Hogwarts Express in all its red and gold glory. His first impression was it was over the top, but if he had to venture a guess, it was intended to impress the new generation of magicals and give a statement.

Who needs a train driver when the train is driven by agenda?

Deciding to take a look around, he went to the non-magical side of the station. Harry stood dumbstruck at the sheer size and activity of the station. After a little bit of walking around, he went back to the train to get a compartment and to avoid any commotion due to his status.

Most of the compartments were empty, as was to be expected since it was still early. Choosing a compartment, Harry brought his school trunk out of his inventory to avoid any suspicion. Harry was already dressed in robes to avoid the rush of doing it when the school was reached.

All that time he saved by doing that will be spent on not being inconvenienced.

He had put most of the books from his parent's trunk into his inventory. From his collection, he chose a Runes book to pass the time until the train reached Hogwarts.

His mother's notes had said that runes had many uses, mainly in warding structures and rituals. During his time in his mansion, which was unplottable and so away from any ministry monitoring, Harry was able to practice his wand magic. He mainly concentrated on wards and other practical spells that are not taught in the first year curriculum, partially because it would give him an advantage and partially because he didn't want to be bored during class. He had thoroughly learned his basics on wand magics so as to get maximum and easy results. With his knowledge, Harry put a small intent based ward on his compartment to repel all those who looked for the Boy-Who-Lived.

I can totally see how Harry needed to “catch up” to his peers.

Getting himself comfortable, Harry tried to read, however, his attention kept slipping towards the families on the platform. Watching them he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like with his own family. Soon the train got filled with students both new and old.

Whoa, Harry almost had a moment of self-reflection that could have resulted in genuine emotion – better move on immediately.

Some time passed before there was a knock on the door, followed by the door being opened by two girls who appeared to be of Indian descent. The first girl asked, "Do you mind if we join you?"

Owing to the fact that he would be spending time with them for the next seven years and that they were beautiful, he wanted to make a good first impression. Especially when it meant more positive rumors than dealing with negative rumors.

Author, please just stop. We know perfectly well why you are forcing these girls into Harry’s compartment, and that’s your prerogative as a writer. But the only reason Harry needs is that he wants friends. Stop overselling Harry’s reasons for tolerating female company, as if this as a strategic social move!

"Please do," Harry said with a pleasant smile, while he gestured to the seats. He made the effort to help them with their trunks using a simple levitation charm he learned saying, "Harry James Potter, Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter ." Both Harry and Bloodfist has decided to keep his Lordship status under wraps for now. He placed a light kiss on the hand of each girl.

“M’witches.”

Stepping out of their stupor at meeting the Boy-Who-Lived, the first girl responded by saying her name "Parvati Patil," before gesturing to her sister behind her "this is my sister Padma," who gave a small smile in greeting. The trio quickly slipped into conversation, during which Harry learned that their family originated from India, but their father had come over to Britain to look after the family trade interests on his own father's behalf, as well as acting in the role of unofficial ambassador. Throughout the conversation, it became apparent that Parvati was the talkative one while Padma answered questions in more detail.

They were shortly joined by another, a blonde girl named Lavender Brown, who received the same courtesy from Harry which made her blush and squeal, to her own and Harry's embarrassment. It seems they met at a Beltane festival two years back. Harry quickly realized that Lavender was a gossip queen no questions there. She was a bit silly for Harry's taste, but he could see the advantage of having the gossip queen as a friend so he remained friendly towards her.

Author, if you have any friends, I feel sorry for them.

Soon there was a lull in the conversation which Harry took advantage of by reading his book. Padma also seems to have the same idea. During their conversation, the train had already departed the station. While reading, Harry cast Observe on his three fellow passengers;

Parvati Patil - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 9

HP : 450/450

MP : 300/300

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 17

WIS : 10

CHR : 14

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Parvati Patil is a pureblood witch and the youngest of the twins of the Ancient House of Patil, from India. She gives more importance to looks, romance novels and all things fluffy. Lavender Brown is her best friend.

Parvati is smitten with Harry.

Why, thank you, spoiler vision. I was totally wondering if the author’s contrived efforts of boxing three girls into the same room as Harry had paid off.

Padma Patil - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 10

HP : 480/480

MP : 320/320

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 20

WIS : 12

CHR : 12

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Padma Patil is a pureblood witch and the eldest of the twins of the Ancient House of Patil, from India. She gives more importance to books, knowledge and all things that have meaning.

Padma is smitten with Harry.

He’s two for three. Can he do it, ladies and gentlemen? Can Harry woo all of these girls with his mere presence and hand kissing prowess?

Lavender Brown - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 9

HP : 420/420

MP : 300/300

STR : 12

VIT : 14

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 16

WIS : 10

CHR : 14

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Lavender Brown is a pureblood witch of the Noble House of Brown. She gives more importance to looks, romance novels and all things fluffy. Parvati Patil is her best friend.

Lavender is smitten with Harry.

Image

Harry was surprised that all three girls were smitten by him.

It’s cute how the author is trying to project an emotion onto his reader that he can’t even feign.

All too soon, the Hogwarts express reached the Hogsmeade station. The train slowed down as a voice echoed through the train, "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes. Please leave your luggage on the train. It will be taken to the school separately."

When Harry got out of the train, he heard a booming voice, "Firs' years, Firs' years over here!" walking in the direction of the voice, he came to the sight of the largest man he had ever seen. The person that stood before him was indeed a giant of a man.

I hope Hagrid doesn’t give enough xp for Harry to consider whether a half-giant counts as a monster or not.

Harry used Observe on him;

Rubeus Hagrid - Groundskeeper - Lvl 41

HP : 20,000/20,000

MP : 1500/1500

STR : 137

VIT : 150

DEX : 22

END : 142

INT : 18

WIS : 10

CHR : 20

KAR : 10

Rubeus Hagrid is a half-giant, with a giantess as the mother, don't ask. Hagrid is a free soul who is very kind and gentle. He loves his animals, which are usually monsters ranging from three-headed dogs to dragons. Hagrid possesses the giant's blood ability. Hagrid was suspended from Hogwarts in his third year without any proof of the accusations towards him. Dumbledore provided him the job he now has. He is an avid Dumbledore supporter.

Hagrid adores Harry and sees him as the next Albus Dumbledore.

That might change when he sees what Harry’s boots are made out of.

Harry was shocked at the status first until he read the info containing the half-giant part. Hagrid seemed to beam at him and continued to call as Harry smiled back, "C'mon follow me. Anymore Firs' years? Mind yer step now. Firs' years follow me"

He took them to a lake through a winding slippery path through the forest. They followed him through the darkness, along the path and reached small boats on the lakeside. "No more'n four to a boat" Hagrid called out to them pointing to the fleet of boats on the shore.

Harry helped the girls get on the boat, as he needed to keep up the impression and curry more favor and positive response from them.

He can’t just be nice, no, every action he takes is explicitly for his own benefit – what the fuck is this character?!

"Everyone in?"Hagrid shouted, who had a whole boat to himself, "Right then -FORWARD"

The fleet of boats all moved at once, gliding across the smooth lake surface. They soon came upon the mesmerizing view of the Hogwarts castle. It glinted before the moonlight, giving it a fairytale castle effect. Harry could feel the living breathing magic that flowed through the castle, almost seeming alive, seeming to welcome the new students. Harry very much felt at home here.

Ridiculous size, too many bedrooms, Quidditch pitch, greenhouse, kitchen staff; no shit he feels at home, it’s barely any different from his mansion.

Everyone was silent as they marveled at the beauty before them. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood.

"Heads down" Hagrid yelled as they neared the cliff. They all bent their heads as they were carried through an opening in the vines on the cliff surface. They were guided through a dark tunnel, which seemed to be right under the castle, to reach an underground harbor where they all clambered out onto to the shore.

They followed Hagrid up a passageway in the cavern, coming out onto smooth grass under the shadow of the castle. They all climbed up a flight of stone steps and crowded around a large oak door.

"Everyone here? Good!" Hagrid said as he knocked on the door three times.

Unless they do a head count, what is there to say that a few first years didn’t fall out of their boats and drown? Just asking.

The doors swung open, and they were greeted by Professor McGonagall with a stern expression. She led them into an empty chamber in front of the Great Hall and explained that houses acted like family and there are four houses and each of them will be sorted into a house.

He heard a boy from across the mass of students say that his older brothers had told him that they would have to fight a troll, and heard the heir of Malfoy family mocking the boy. Luckily before things escalated Prof. McGonagall came back and led them into the Great Hall.

Ah, so Harry’s original friends haven’t just gone up in smoke. Whether they’ll be bashing targets or background noise, I don’t know yet, but it’s not like I have any hope that the author won’t abuse them like the rest of the canon.

During this time however Harry only had mild concentration as he was checking out the new quest alert he got;

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

Hogwarts Student : Get Sorted!

Get sorted into a house

Rewards,

500xp

?

Failure,

You will not be able to attend Hogwarts

YES - NO

All he has to do is keep quiet and follow instructions. The quest literally demands more effort from him to fail than to complete! What is even the point?!

Harry accepted it as he moved along with his fellow students into the great hall. They entered in pairs and followed in line behind the professor. Harry was with Padma ahead of Parvati and Lavender, a bushy-haired girl and a small Asian girl were in front of them. He heard the bushy-haired girl say that she read about the Great Hall and the enchanted ceiling in 'Hogwarts : A History'.

Harry had read it too, but the books didn't do the Great Hall justice. The Great Hall was lit up by thousands of candles which were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets.

I’m so happy the school budget went to the silverware instead of, uh, anything else.

At the top of the Hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Prof. McGonagall led the first years up there so that they came to a halt in a line facing the teachers.

All four tables were looking at them, hundreds of faces staring at them, watching them. Dotted here and there among the students were the ghosts. Harry looked upwards to study the famous Enchanted ceiling of Hogwarts' Great Hall. It was very beautiful like you were looking at the real sky. Harry was not the only one who looked up at the ceiling.

Don’t mistake my eye rolling for the same.

Prof. McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years along with a pointed wizard's hat which was patched and frayed and extremely dirty.

When everyone was silent, to Harry's and other first years surprise, a mouth formed on the hat as it began to sing;

'Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see.

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hat sleek and tall.

An ugly one will definitely,

Keep your identity from all

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat,

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

That the sorting hat can't see,

So try me on and I'll tell you

Where you ought to be.

Judge, jury, and executioner; this hat is mad with power!

You might belong to Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry,

Set Gryffindors apart.

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,

And unafraid of toil.

They’ll do your homework for you, if you use enough peer pressure.

Or yet, in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind.

Or perhaps in Slytherin,

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folks use any means,

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

Motherfucker, you just implied that an entire house would kill you for better grades.

And don't get in a flap!

You are in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a thinking cap!'

The whole Hall burst into cheers as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became still again. Prof. McGonagall then stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will step forward, put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said and then started calling out names in the alphabetical order.

Every time someone got sorted, the table of the chosen house would erupt in cheers.

“Fresh meat! Fresh meat!”

During his wait for his own name to be called, Harry started taking a mental picture of each student as they sat on the stool and were sorted into their house. He decided that building a mental profile for each of them would be of benefit when dealing with them after all knowledge was power and all great wizards or witches were geniuses in their own rights and experts in their fields of magic.

Behavior like this is the reason we have restraining orders, author.

Harry noted that while Lavender and Parvati went to Gryffindor, Padma was sorted to Ravenclaw just as his assumption and Observe info hinted at. Then his name called;

"Harry Potter"

Suddenly there was absolute silence as everyone tried to get a good look at the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry started walking towards the stool, his back straight, shoulders back, emotionless mask on his face, at a firm pace, that showed neither eagerness nor reluctance. He could hear the rising whisperings from the student body;

I hope it’s about how he’s acting like a fucking robot.

"He's tall."

"No, he's shorter than in books."

"Looks like he has some muscles."

"He's hot."

And twelve, please shut up.

Harry stopped listening to the whispers at that comment, seriously it was getting a bit frustrating and embarrassing for him. Sitting on the stool, his vision of the Hall and its occupants was covered and blacked out by the hem of the hat. And from the darkness a loud yell echoed through his head;

"What the fuck?"

What is this, My Immortal?

(AN

To Blaze1992 the story will contain other elements than HP lore, though what order, what all they are is still up in the air.

I would like suggestions on the part played by Satellizer and Levi ( As I am not completely sure with them). The new characters will have the same info, all I need is suggestion for characters that are not in HP lore. So put them in review please.

In other words, you’ve included new characters that you have no idea what to do with. Amazing.

And for those who thinks the Karma points for the solicitor and Hagrid are high; first the solicitor helps the half-bloods and muggleborns so she gets it through there, Hagrid seriously does anyone needs an explanation? The guy who helps all the animals? What I gave him could only be lower than it should be.

I have no idea what a high amount of Karma is, nor do I know how it’s accumulated yet, you numbskull. I’m just happy that Harry’s lower Karma score reflects my expectations of him.

Next chapter - Hogwarts houses, classes and friends)

------------------------

Finally the story has reached the location where the plot is supposed to be. However, with Harry having consumed all the knowledge he could ever need, I’m not looking forward to a year’s worth scholastic whining, inconvenience removals, and pre-hoc rationalization of indulging in friendship behavior.

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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sat Oct 26, 2019 8:03 am

We left off on the Sorting Hat shouting profanity into Harry’s ear, so either this story is about to have a moment of self-awareness, or the author thinks cliff hangers are all about the edge. I know what I’m betting my money on, but let’s find out. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 8: Hogwarts, Houses, Classes, and Friends

Kyrin's A/N : Cosmetic changes.

(AN

I give the whole credit for the character Cassiopeia (along with the nickname Theia) and the plot idea of her to Inimicus, the dude who helped me and still do whenever I am stuck with my story.

Cassiopeia. Greek mythological figure whose vanity brought the wrath of Poseidon upon Ethiopia. It’s also the name of a constellation that shares hemisphere with the likes of Draco and Andromeda, so there’s really only two options as to what her last name will be here.

I made a slight mistake - the perk point will be awarded every 10 levels. Sorry if this confused you. I have already changed it in the chapters. Now the first one he got to choose when he became level 5 was actually a gift for his birthday after receiving his powers.

I’m always pleasantly surprised when an author acknowledges a mistake in their work, and then they actually correct it. Why was it a mistake, though? Was it a balance issue? But wait, this can’t be right since Harry did get a perk point at level five. What gives?

Kyrin's A/N - I'm actually changing this back to every five levels as you would have noticed in chapter 6.

Congratulations, Kyrin! You just became the worse author of the two of you.

All suggestions, remarks, criticism and reviews are welcome.)

Chapter 8

"What the fuck?"

Only with the help of his Gamer's Mind and Occlumency that Harry didn't jump up from his stool in a massive state of panic. Instead, he sat there with a calm aura as he searched for the source of the loud scream.

If it weren’t for his superpowers, he would be jumping out the nearest window if a balloon popped behind him.

He soon heard mutterings of four different people in his head, two feminine, and two male.

"How is such a thing possible?"

"Is he a wizard at all?"

"I think so, I mean he did have wizarding parents"

"Stop this, the kid is listening."

"Ah, hello there. Is there a problem? Who is this?" Harry asked mentally.

It’s just contrivedly inserted characters standing in awe of you breaking standard conventions, Harry. Get used to it.

"It's nothing to worry dear," a feminine voice replied as another one followed it "We were just surprised by the powers you possess"

A gruff male voice said, "Allow me to introduce ourselves. We are the imprints of the four founders left inside the magical sorting hat. We don't talk directly like this, instead, we let the hat do the job with our guidance."

Because having four people bickering with each other instead of a single person making up their mind seems so much better.

"Yes, your...let's just say spectacular powers, intrigued us and we came forth to sort you ourselves," a smooth male voice continued.

"So where do I belong then?" Harry asked. He wanted to have a full conversation with them, get to know them, their secrets, their knowledge but knew that he didn't have the time nor would anyone allow it just because he wanted it.

It’s not quite admitting that his selfish and power hungry kneejerk reactions to meeting new people is wrong, but I’ll consider it as such.

"You are worthy of all four houses; you have courage and cunning in spades, the resourcefulness and a thirst for knowledge, you are hardworking and loyal to those who have earned yours. We can see it, the struggles you had, the problems you faced, and how you overcame them. But it seems you have a house already in mind. And we agree that house will be the most suitable for your needs." The voices stopped for a moment, "However since this is the first time someone like you have appeared, we would like to give you a quest. Choose it and you will find that which only we alone know of, choose it and you will find all you need in your journey to bring back your house fortune, choose it and you will become powerful. Do you accept?"

Intrigued by the request, Harry asked: "What is the quest?"

Why ask at all? You wouldn’t refuse a quest even if it was titled ‘Prison rape’.

"That we will not tell you until you accept. Of course, you can choose not to, but you will never find what lay hidden, ever. And the quest itself will not be easy, it will test your courage, cunning, resourcefulness, knowledge, patience, and above all you as a person. So what say you, young wizard?"

This is how Voldemort could win. Offer Harry a quest to die, but not telling him before he accepts it.

Finding little to no information to go on, Harry thought it over. 'Yes it would be a hard quest, but where was there a case when someone got a reward without risk. If I want to rebuild my family in this world, then I need all the help I can get.' Harry finally reaching a decision said with conviction "Yes, I accept the quest."

Harry was blinded for a second by a bright light, then he came to a room with nothing but white walls and floor. He looked around and found four people standing there. The first, a male with black hair and goatee wore black and emerald green cloak and medieval dress and the second male with red hair and beard wore a red and gold cloak. Both were muscular and lean. The former had emerald eyes like him whereas the latter had sky blue eyes. The first woman wore a yellow and black cloak, with strawberry blonde hair and a curvaceous body and amber eyes, while the second wore a blue and bronze cloak who had black hair, crystal blue eyes and an equally beautiful body with a tiara on her head. Harry quickly realized they were the founders, but before he could greet them, a blue screen popped in front of him.

Sure, they are the Founders. Never mind that Salazar Slytherin was described as ‘monkey-like’, and that Helga Hufflepuff was plump with red hair. Historical records have simply been unkind to them.

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

The Founders' Heir : Find the lost treasures!

Find the lost and hidden treasures of the Founders' of Hogwarts and become their Heir

Rewards,

1,000,000xp

New Title - Founders' Heir

?

?

?

?

Failure,

You will never be able to become the Founders Heir

Possible Death

YES - NO

A much more reasonable penalty, but again failing the quest should not result in dying; dying should result in failing the quest.

Harry pressed yes and turned his attention towards the founders. They seemed to be measuring him.

"It's good to see face to face, but we are rather short on time, so let us get the introduction out of the way. I am Salazar Slytherin, this is Godric Gryffindor, the lady with the tiara is Rowena Ravenclaw and last but not least, Helga Hufflepuff." the man with the black goatee said.

"Inside Hogwarts we four each have created a secret room or chamber by ourselves. Each holding our most beloved and heavily guarded treasures. You must find each one and claim it as your own. Of course, they are guarded by traps and beasts. But what fun is it if it's too simple.

“Oh how they protested us putting these hazards in a school for children. As if Hogwarts was supposed to be a safe place or something.”

However to help you on this quest and also in your life, we will give you a clue to a wonderful room that we created together, combining our expertise. It's called the Room Of Requirement and you will have to find it on your own as well. But here is something that will help you on your way, 'If you have to ask you will never know, But if you Know you only need to ask'," Ravenclaw spoke in a mysterious tone. "I am sure you will be able to figure it out, after all, you chose to be in my house," she finished with a smile.

He chose to join the smart kids’ club, so he has to be smart. Flawless logic right there.

"Find our legacy Harry, find it and restore what we struggled for, restore who we really were," Gryffindor said as Helga joined in."History has been long since been corrupted, to suit the needs of the ones who told them. Find our truths, show it to the world and bring peace to our world."

I guess history actually was unkind to them. But why? And why does this injected mystery plot exceed the parameter of the quest it arrived with?

"Make do and steady your heart and mind for what is to come, my child. For this is only the beginning, the beginning of a whole new era, an era of war, love, destruction, and hopefully peace. And you shall be its central point, everything will be on your shoulders," Rowena said in a heartfelt voice.

Could it perhaps start with less platitudes and meaningless drivel?

"Find those who will stand beside you. Give them your loyalty and they will give you yours. Now go, and know that we are with you always," Helga said.

"You must have courage not just to face danger but to admit your follies as well and that you need help," Godric said, the light again started to blind him as Salazar joined, "And when you stumble know this, help shall always be given at Hogwarts, Harry, to those who ask for it."

“Not the help they ask for, mind you – what fun would there be in that?”

Harry was back to where he actually was and regained his senses as he heard the loud call of sorting hat saying his house "RAVENCLAW", causing the Ravenclaw table to erupt in applause. Harry smoothly took the hat off his head and handed it to Prof. McGonagall and got up from the stool. Taking a place next to Padma, he listened carefully as the rest of the names were called out and sorted into their houses, before listening to the Headmaster's speech half-heartedly.

I hope he loses house points as fast as he loses interest.

He also received his quest complete window, which he closed promptly.

Quest Complete!

Hogwarts Student : Get Sorted!

Rewards,

500xp

Bonus Quest - Founders' Heir

As dinner appeared, the tables erupted into small talk. Harry was bombarded with questions from all around the table. Harry politely replied to each one as he made a mental list of useful people like the fifth year prefect, Penelope Clearwater. Harry made small talk, not really being interested in making friends based on first encounters, preferring to wait and judge his fellow housemates before deciding their worth.

The hat said Ravenclaw, but his personality screams Slytherin.

In his house, there were only two boys, Anthony Goldstein and Terry Boot, in his year besides Harry. Others were Amanda Brocklehurst, Lisa Turpin, Hermione Granger, Su Li, Padma Patil and Cassiopeia Malfoy of whom Harry was wary of. She was apparently Draco Malfoy's twin.

Image

Golly gee willickers, I wonder why this new character was introduced. What could possibly possess the author to fashion a female twin of a minor antagonist, and then allow his avatar protagonist access to her? Him with several skills revolving around sex, and she being a girl and bearing the name Malfoy. No, author, I’m not saying you want to fuck Draco Malfoy. I’m saying you want to fuck him over by fucking his family, and you couldn’t get his mother to be here.

As the dinner finished, the Headmaster rose once again while all the food vanished.

"Ahem, just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start of term notices to give you," he said in a grandfatherly tone.

"The first years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. A few older students would do well to remember that as well," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in the direction of two ginger-haired twins.

“They should remember that the Forbidden Forest is OFF grounds, and is therefore perfectly fine to enter.”

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all, that no magic should be used between classes in the corridor."

“Since the castle is 50% staircases, I think we can make an exception for corridors.”

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house team should contact Madam Hooch."

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side of the castle is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death," he said in a most serious tone.

'Something is up, he is not that stupid to realize that half the school will now be looking into it. It seems he has more cunning than a Gryffindor should have. Have to keep my eyes open around this guy,' Harry thought before his internal monologue ended as the whole school erupted in song.

“Don’t go to this place. You will literally die.”

“I’M ON TO YOU, OLD MAN!”

Harry used this time to use Observe on the teachers including Dumbledore and just like he thought it only gave him blank question marks.

Everybody finished the song at different times. At the end, only the ginger-haired twins were left singing a very slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped the loudest.

Am I supposed to take this as accusatory, or do you have nothing to do but copy the book, author?

"Ah, music, a magic beyond all we do here! And now bedtime. Off you trot!" he said dismissing them all from the hall.

Ravenclaw prefects ordered the first years to follow them. They walked past suits of armors, around corners, upstairs. The castle was almost like a maze in its own right. Harry was wondering how much further they had to go before they came to a sudden halt. There was a door in front of them. There was no keyhole and no door handle; nothing but a plain expanse of ancient wood and a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle.

The riddle speaking doorknocker. Fanfic authors always try to be clever with it, so let’s see the extent of the author’s wit.

The female prefect he identified from the feast stepped forward turning towards them and said, "This is the entrance to the Ravenclaw tower. You have to knock and the guardian will ask you a question or a riddle, which you will have to answer, otherwise, you won't gain entrance. If you don't know the answer, wait for another student to come along or go to our Head of House." She then proceeded to give them a demonstration as she knocked and the guardian asked a riddle in a wise tone.

"What starts with the letter C and ends with T, which is moist on the inside and hairy on the outside?"

Penelope and the male prefect Tony blushed bright red hearing the riddle, Harry mentally snickered as most of his fellow year mates remained clueless at the innuendo. He noted that Padma, Hermione, and Cassiopeia had blushes on their face as well. Filing that information away in his mind, he stepped forward and said, "Coconut"

Durr-hurr, sex joke, get it?! What crossword did you steal this trivia question from, author? The eagle’s questions are supposed to be thought provoking with complexity that goes beyond ‘what word am I thinking of’. “What came first, the phoenix or the flame,” was answered with “a circle has no beginning,” and here you substitute profoundness for dirty humor while putting your avatar in the house of intellectuals. I hope you choked on your own saliva while you were giggling to yourself.

"Correct," the guardian said finishing with a booming laugh, opening the doorway. Harry had the distant feeling that the guardian did that on purpose and maybe a closet pervert as well.

Clearly a thing you’d want in an institution full of children.

Harry pushed forward as his fellow year mates and the prefects shook off their awkwardness and got the first glimpse of the Ravenclaw common room. The room could be best described as an 'airy' room with many arched windows overlooking the surrounding mountains, all hung with heavy blue and bronze curtains, matching their house colors. The ceiling was domed and painted blue with twinkling stars on it. The floor was covered in midnight-blue carpet, completing the 'Ravenclaw' look about the place.

The room was filled with fat and cushy armchairs that looked quite comfortable to just sit and read a book.

Too bad Harry already read them all.

The room also seemed to be circular in shape, showing that it was indeed inside the Ravenclaw tower, while there were several stairs leading up to the student dorms. There was a statue of Rowena Ravenclaw beside the entrance to the room, which seemed to be almost similar to her imprint Harry saw when he put on the sorting hat.

"Impressive," Harry said, taking in the sight of the common room.

This writing is quite the opposite. A genuine character reaction would be an awed whisper with eyes full of wonder. Instead we get a simple statement of approval made for and by the author.

The male prefect nodded in agreement, before calling for their attention. "Ravens are famed for our knowledge, and as such we have our own rooms, while other houses have to share. This is so you can read, study and practice magic without disturbing your housemates.

No, this is so the protagonist can have the luxury of privacy. Do you have any idea of the shit-fit the rest of the school would throw, if only one school house was allowed their own rooms?!

Your rooms are basic; this is intentional so they can be customized and to encourage you to learn charms and spells to make these rooms your own over the next seven years. Each room has the name of its occupant on the door, it will be yours for the next seven years."

Pausing before continuing his speech, "Each year has its own group study period, along with their own older student, acting as a mentor, who will be tasked with helping you." He gestured to the surrounding Ravens, who were watching their new housemates with interest.

So they’re expected to have mandatory group study as well as study in their free time? When are these nerds allowed to live?

"Now, the girl's dorms are over there," the prefect said pointing to a set of stairs, then pointing to another set in the other corner, "And these are the guy's dorms. While I remember, I suggest you reread your potion textbooks, because our potion master love to take house points for failing to answer his questions fully and correctly." He then dismissed them to find their own rooms.

Walking up the stairs with the rest of first-year males, Harry quickly found his room, which itself was bare. The bed was an impressive four-poster one with blue curtains, with desk and work area in the corner and another door leading to a washroom. Noticing his trunk in the corner, he took out his first yearbooks and arranged them on his desk to have an easy access then he took all of his potion materials before setting down on the bed to reread his first year potions books, as the fifth year recommended.

I’m guessing his other luggage, aka Nimuae, is just going to stay in his inventory.

He used his occlumency to keep everything he read into a codex so he could remember them perfectly, he also added the information about ingredients from Herbology linked to the potion section as well. After that was done, Harry went to order his mental file of each student, which he created, like house, year, etc. Harry also thought about the quest he got from the founders. But he didn't go into further details as it became midnight and he went to sleep leaving it for a later date.

He thought about it, then stopped. Brilliant writing.

You have slept in your bed. HP & MP restored to 100%. All negative status effects and ailments have been cured.

Harry woke up early like he used to, with the sun just barely out of the horizon. The night had been restless, due to his internal excitement at finally being able to attend the school and learn at the hands of some of the best teachers in the world.

Harry started his morning routine of pushups and sit-ups, he also had added a hanging bar to do pull ups and chin ups. He wanted to go for a run and a swim but decided to wait a couple more days for that.

The only reason that this RPG protagonist has to do morning exercise, is so that he can get stat points that he doesn’t need to draw from the ones earned from level ups.

Noticing it was almost time for breakfast, he made his way over to the washroom for a shower, before putting on his robes and trying but failing to tame his hair.

Checking himself in the mirror before heading down to the common room, he sat down in the corner waiting for rest of his year mates to arrive. Realizing he was early, he started going through his mind codex using occlumency.

He sees it’s almost time for breakfast, he takes as shower, gets dressed, does his hair, yet still somehow he’s there early?

Soon his year mates came down. Before they left the common room, their head of the house came to greet them and gave their timetables and also offered his help with anything that they might need. Looking at the timetable, Harry saw that they shared classes with the other three houses alternatively for subjects. Like Herbology which he had today was shared with the Slytherins. Taking the necessary books for today, Harry went to get breakfast with his year mates while having small talk with Padma.

Harry rested on his bed, enjoying the peace and quiet for a change now that the day was over. This gave him a chance to reflect on everything that had happened on the two days since that first evening.

Hold on, I know I didn’t just black out and miss several paragraphs just now. The author is simply skipping ahead so that everything can be told in hindsight. What is the point?!

The first couple of days were amazing; they just flew by in a mix of awe and excitement. Even if most of the lessons were just introductions to the courses, basic lectures on what the subject was about and the planned material for the upcoming year; it did nothing to kill his excitement.

He would need to possess any for that to happen. Don’t tell us he’s excited; show us!

The only subject that was disappointing was History of magic, which was taught by the ghost of the former History teacher who had happened to die during his sleep, or during one of his lectures if the terror twins were to be believed.

Professor Cuthbert Binns seemed to have permanently cast a sleeping spell over the room and all the students in it, even he himself wasn't immune to it! This frankly was a bit of a disappointment to Harry as he considered himself to be an amateur Historian. After all, he had read most of the history section at his local library when he searched for dungeons.

I think your pursuit of exploitable medieval real estate is a bit different from scholarly dedication towards historical records.

Ultimately, he ended up asking several older Ravenclaws about the ghost during lunch time. Frankly, their advice wasn't promising, it turned out that it had happened to everyone. Most of them ended up doing self-study instead and skipped History all together, before dropping the subject rather than endure the ghost. Others charmed their quills to write down the notes for them instead. Unfortunately, the charm wasn't taught until fourth year and Harry wasn't ready to owe anyone for simply learning such a spell, so it didn't help him either.

He could have someone teach him a helpful spell, but nah, he doesn’t want to risk being indebted to anyone. What a disgustingly narcissistic character you’ve made, author.

Another subject that was interesting but was ruined because of the teaching was Defence Against Dark Arts or DADA, taught by Prof. Quirinus Quirrell. His constant stuttering, the smell of garlic and his constant jumping at shadows had made him the second most useless professor in Harry's list. While enquiring about it Harry had learned about the curse on the DADA position and how every year the professor for DADA is met with unfortunate incidents and was replaced the next year. Some had even died for taking up the post. Of course, being him, Harry immediately got a new quest out of it.

A quest has been created.

Quest Alert!

The Curse Breaker : Find and remove the DADA curse!

Find the reason for the curse on DADA post and remove it

Rewards,

1,000,000xp

New Title - Curse Breaker

500,000 galleons

?

Failure,

Every DADA professor will meet an unfortunate fate

Death

YES - NO

Could we not have death be a failure penalty of every quest Harry gets?!

From the high XP reward, Harry was sure it will take a long time to solve it. But the chance of getting such a huge amount of XP and money made him accept the quest.

Fortunately, Herbology turned out to be far more interesting than he had originally expected. The subject was taught by Professor Pomona Sprout, the Head of Hufflepuff House.

Prof. Sprout seemed a rather easy going person, which in hindsight should have been expected. She was a person of the earth, who clearly embodied her house's value of fair play and hard work. Listening to her lectures on magical plants, it was clear that they were her passion and it explained why she was considered one of the leading experts on magical flora.

Speaking of tending to houseplants, did Nimuae just drop out of this story, or is she just put on hold until Harry deems her useful?

The highlight of the lesson came from the Slytherin students, and how they reacted to the thought of getting their hands dirty. Thinking about it again caused Harry to chuckle quietly at the memory of the day's events. Their reactions made it clear which of them could be considered spoiled.

No doubt every bookworm in Ravenclaw was just eager to go shoulders deep in mulch.

However, their reaction was even stronger when Prof. Sprout ordered them to pair up with another student from a different house in order to promote student unity and spread the seeds of friendship. A couple of low voices whispered complaints about being partnered up with their Ravenclaw counterparts. He heard what seemed to be Draco Malfoy's favorite line, "Wait till my father hears about this." Fortunately, he and Padma were partnered up with Slytherins who were the exception to this rule. His partner turned out to be a girl with flowing blonde hair named Daphne Greengrass, while Padma paired up with an auburn-haired girl named Tracy Davis.

Color me surprised, because I would need actual paint to feign the emotion. It can never be anyone but the ever eligible victims for author-mandated romance.

The two groups went about their collective tasks, which made it clear in hindsight that both Daphne and Tracy had previous experience in magical gardening. Harry had managed to do decent work, mainly because his level in Herbology was high and because he followed Daphne's methods, due to her more extensive knowledge of magical plants. By the end of the lesson, both had earned a good number of house points since they, unlike other pairs, just got to work rather than bicker over the task. During the task, they made minor small talk, nothing personal, just light talk to help pass the time. Harry did enjoy her company.

A number tied to person-directed affection suspended within the robot’s programming incremented slightly. How nice of you to inform the rest of us.

Another thing that intrigued Harry was the fact that Draco and Cassiopeia didn't partner up during the class. Harry decided not to jump to conclusion until he could do an Observe on both of them.

That won’t prevent me and everyone reading this, though. The author may not have expressed it outright, but this story clearly has a harem list.

That was another thing Harry was disappointed about, due to the hectic work and class, he couldn't find time to do an Observe on who he wanted to. But he decided to do it during the weekend.

The next day, Harry headed to the class he was most looking forward to, Charms. The class was taught by his head of House, Professor Filius Flitwick, charms master of Hogwarts and retired duelist.

Professor Flitwick was short, only about four feet in height and from what he heard from his fellow housemates this was due to him being part goblin. This was extremely odd, considering how rare interspecies marriages were, to the point of nearly being unheard of, in British culture.

Yeah, about that. Would this imply that muggle cases of dwarfism are just half-goblins?

Harry took a seat in front of the class to get a better view and was joined by Padma. After a couple of minutes, the Professor walked in and jumped onto a stack of books, before beginning his introduction speech about the subject and the materials, like the other professors.

Watching his Head of House, Harry couldn't help but smile at the sight of the tiny professor balancing on books, trying not to fall off.

If only I believed he had emotions to facilitate this reaction.

When his name was finally called out of the register, the Professor literally jumped in excitement. However, this display of energy, while embarrassing for him at first also resulted in Prof. Flitwick losing his balance, sending the book stack scattering across the floor.

Being a formal duelist, the professor landed gracefully to the applause of the students, taking the attention away from Harry, for which he was very grateful. After that little stunt, the professor continued calling the register. When it was over, Harry listened with interest as the professor showed several of the charms they would be learning over the course of the year, which was received with a series of "ahhs" from the students.

Watching the professor, he could remember reading about the spells on display and the theory behind them. Smiling as he watched, Harry felt confident that he would live up to his Head of House's expectations. After all, he had managed to cast several of them before coming to Hogwarts. Right then and there, he made a silent promise to himself to learn all the first year spells by Christmas.

He is so confident in living up to the expectations of learning his curriculum, that he decides he’ll do it in half the time. I would call him overconfident, but I’ll settled for calling the author a hack.

The first half of the class was about the theory of basic Lumos light charm. Professor Flitwick stated that while it was one of the simplest of spells, them being first years will take some time to get it right, as they needed necessary experience in casting spells and focus required in controlling their magic. Naturally, their work rate would increase as they progressed through the school year, due to their magic becoming easier for them to wield.

All too soon the classroom was filled with students shouting, "Lumos", in an attempt to create a light on the tip of their wands. They began to shout louder as their frustration increased, in a vain attempt to force the spell work, not realizing it made no difference.

None of these likely magically raised members of the studious house of Ravenclaw knows how magic works, you see.

There were occasional sprouts of light here and there, but it was Harry who got it first to have a steady ball of light at the tip of his wand. Which earned him 10 points, who was followed by Hermione, who got another five points for their house. Watching her Harry realized that she has marked him has her academic rival, which he thought was childish until he realized they were children.

I do so wonder if this laughable realization will be disregarded when the sex scene arrives.

He also noted that Cassiopeia had got the hang of it as well, proving his theory that pureblood kids have gotten previous training.

For someone this hooked on stats, you have no idea how statistics works.

"Want some help?" he asked Padma as he saw her struggling.

"Sure," she said, "If you don't mind."

For the rest of the lesson, Harry helped Padma to do the Lumos charm, which she was able to do successfully after his help. Seeing this, Prof. Flitwick came by to quiz Harry on his knowledge and what other spells he could do. Harry ended up admitting that he was already capable of casting a good dozen number of first-year spells, such as the 'color changing charm' and the 'levitation spell'. He also told Flitwick his goal of learning all the first year spells by Christmas. By the time he was done listing the spells, as well as his own goals, his teacher seemed to bounce with energy and gave him another twenty points for it.

It’s almost like first year students having prior spell casting experience is a novelty. Like consistency in a fanfic.

Finally, the school bell rang, causing the professor to assign the Lumos charm practicing as homework. Then he dismissed the class so they could go down to the Great Hall for lunch.

On the way to the Great Hall, Harry caught a glimpse of the hourglass which kept track of the House points and saw that Ravenclaw was ahead by 35 points.

Even though Harry sat with his yearmates, he never initiated a conversation unless necessary. He let others talk while he just listened.

Keep in mind, Harry isn’t an introvert; just a sociopath.

Looking across the hall he found Padma sitting with her sister at the Gryffindor table. During one of the conversation, Anthony and Terry asked Harry for his help in learning to cast Lumos. Which he agreed on the condition that they would never ask his help for writing assignments or some such and only for help with actual casting of spells, which they agreed with.

I could repeat my previous point ad nauseam, and it would be justified.

After lunch, it was Transfiguration another class Harry wanted to excel at since his dad was known as a prodigy in the transfiguration field. It was taught by Professor Minerva McGonagall, Head of House Gryffindor and the Deputy Headmistress. She was strict, telling them straight away that anyone who fools around will never be allowed to step in her class as it was dangerous. But she did make everyone amazed by her animagus transformation from a tabby cat, which steeled Harry's resolve all the more to become one.

Like a spoiled child, he wants everything in the candy store.

Currently, they were asked to turn a matchstick into a needle. It was much harder than it sounds as transfiguration was a step by step process of changing one material into another while changing size and shape as well. Harry, who had been practicing it before, did it in on his first try earning him ten points from the professor. Of course, Hermione seemed to take it as a challenge and started concentrating on it with a new found vigor and doing it getting ten points. Harry, as was becoming usual started helping Padma, who was able to change the material of matchstick into silver by the end of the class earning her five points as well.

Harry flexes his academic superiority, Hermione whimpers into second place, and Padma earns third by virtue of Harry’s graciously given assistance. Is every lesson going to be like this, author?

Eventually, he got around to trying multiple transfigurations. It took awhile to learn, but as he practiced he got faster after each consecutive attempt. By the end of the class, he was able to change ten matchsticks into needles at a time and back again without too much difficulty, which earned him another ten points.

After that, there were no more classes as they returned to their common room to relax and some to start working on their homework, after having dinner. Harry internally mused the changes that already appeared in the students after these two days still lying on his bed.

In two days, already some have started forming groups. Anthony and Terry had become one, so did Lisa and Amanda. Padma and Su were one as well who tried to include Hermione and Cassiopeia but the latter remained polite while aloof and the other buried herself in books. Harry was on talking terms with everyone except Hermione and Cassiopeia, one because she didn't want to get away from her books and the other because both were wary of each other. But Padma had started to become a friend of sorts for Harry.

We’re told so, so it must be true. The sad thing is, I don’t think the author has any friends to know how they would interact.

Harry stopped his musings and moved to get a shower and change into something comfortable. He took his sweet time as he showered and came out wearing nothing as he normally did as he put his new clothes on his bed. Harry was still drying his hair as he didn't see Padma was in his room. He was startled by a loud squeak, quickly moving the towel Harry was greeted by the sight of Padma covering her face in the bed curtain.

See, author, a friend would announce their presence when entering someone else’s private room. They would usually have a reason for being there, that doesn’t involve contrived and inappropriate exposure. What is she even doing in the male dorms; trying to lose house points?

Deciding to be a bit cheeky, Harry said "I didn't know you are a voyeur Padma, you naughty girl," He covered himself in the towel he used to dry his hair.

"I wasn't- I didn't know!" Padma squeaked and stuttered out.

"Haha, it's fine, you can look now," Harry said, Padma turned around only to let out a loud "eep" and turn around again.

"Oh come on, this is nothing," Harry said as he put on his clothes. "Alright now I am fully clothed, sheesh Padma, what kind of gutter is your mind in?"

The one the author is digging while using you as a tool.

"You shouldn't run around naked!" Padma said with a huff as she turned around, still with a blush on her face. Of course for Padma, Harry's well-toned body, which while didn't have any six packs, dripping water droplets was easily an arousing scene.

Please, won’t someone remember they’re children?

"My room, my rules. Now, what can I do for you?"

"I came by to ask if we could study for the potions class we have tomorrow since the prefect told us that the professor will ask questions," Padma said.

"Sure take your books and come here, we can study for it. I have some chocolate frogs I bought from the train."

Except he didn’t buy diddly squat when he was the Express. He was too busy ogling the three girls in his compartment.

"Okay, I will be right back," with that, Padma left. The rest of the day was spent going through the potion books with Padma and after she left, Harry got to work on his charms book.

He had learned that a new skill Spell Codex, which was basically a collection of all the spells he knew, had been added to the [Knowledge Bank] skill tree which leveled up as he learned new spells and it also seems to help with his occlumency as once he learned the spell properly, he could recall it and its uses quickly. Also, the things he found out about the spells are also added in, like 'wingardium leviosa' is the levitation spell geared to floating feathers and if he adds the Latin name of the object with 'leviosa' he could easily handle levitating other objects more easily than using the same spell.

Image

He isn’t even inconvenienced by the effort of having to remember what he learns now. When will he be relieved of the burden of breathing?

You have slept in your bed. HP & MP restored to 100%. All negative status effects and ailments have been cured.

"Ah yes," Professor Snape said softly when he reached Harry's name during roll calling, "Harry Potter..our new celebrity."

With that one dialogue, Harry knew that his entire potion class for the seven years if he chooses to take it after OWLS, would be utterly irritating and useless for him. Professor Severus Snape, Head of House Slytherin and potions master seemed to have a bone to pick with him. Harry was at first impressed by the professor's dramatic entrance with his cloak billowing. But one look from him, Harry realized this would be one of those classes and teacher he would dread to go to.

Then why not use some of your inflated brain stats and early maturity to straighten out the issue with the man? Oh right, canon railroad is in effect, forget I said anything.

Harry was bombarded with questions as soon as the register was called out. Luckily for Harry, he had already gone through his potions book and was thus able to answer all of them. Snape then proceeded to put them on creating a boil cure potion. Harry and Padma paired up for the job as Padma was weak at potions.

Is she good at anything, or is Harry just going to carry her through the entire year?

As soon as the class was over, Harry quickly made his way out of the dungeon to escape from the oppressive feeling he got from the professor. He was able to brew the potion to perfection, so he only got a sneer from Snape.

Today all the first years had flying class after lunch, which Harry was most looking forward to. He knew his father was a good flyer and played for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He also wanted to try for his house team next year as first years were not allowed to play.

All the first years were lined up in two lines, each having a broom by their side, the students on the two lines facing each other. A witch with white, sparky, electrified hair and yellow hawk-like eyes and the body of a physical fitness trainer came down and walked along the middle of the two lines returning the greeting she received from the students. The witch was Madam Xenorma Hooch.

Her first name is Rolanda, author. Google is free. And before your cock puppet gets any bright ideas, she’s at least eighty years old.

"Good Evening, now stand close to your broom, extend your hand towards it and say 'UP'," she instructed.

Evening? When do you typically have lunch, author?

Harry did so and the broom jumped into his hands. Harry could feel the broomstick and the magic it held. Soon everyone had a broom in their hand, some who gave up shouting and picking it up with their hand. Soon Madam Hooch had them slowly hover over the ground and follow her like young ducklings following their mother duck.

Neville Longbottom somehow managed to get himself knocked off his broom, falling some good height, luckily only breaking his arm thanks in part to several statues that slowed down his descent by locking on his robes. Madam Hooch immediately went to check on Neville, ordering the students to land on the ground.

It was then that Harry saw Draco knocking his sister off of her broom. It was a good height more than from where Neville fell from and was sure to give a grievous injury, if not life-threatening. Without hesitating Harry launched himself after her falling form, only catching her in the nick of time.

Why parrot the original plot if Neville’s remembrall is going to be overshadowed by an out of nowhere attempted fratricide?

Harry was moving at a breakneck speed as he zoomed towards the falling form of Cassiopeia. The old broom strained under him, trying to move at a speed it was no longer capable of. It gave out puffs and screeching noises as some of its bristles were torn away from the broom by the wind. But Harry didn't let up as he moved closer as she fell. 50 feet, 40, 30, 20, 10, 7 and 'slam' Harry got her as he pushed his broom further so as not to crash into the ground himself with her in his hands. The broom wobbled and jerked as he sped across the ground with Cassiopeia in his hand. After some more time of more jerking, Harry got the broom under control.

And now that another female mannequin sculpted by the author’s eager hands has fallen into Harry’s lap, let’s see what Nimuae’s next roommate looks like in needlessly flowery detail.

All through Harry's stunt, the girls were screaming, boys gasping and Madam Hooch standing shocked to the bones with the injured Neville on her hand.

Harry was oblivious to it all as his concentration was on the beautiful lady in his hands. The fact that Cassiopeia was stunningly beautiful only dawned on him then, in that situation where he was holding her in his arms in the sky. If not for the broom, it might have looked like a scene from the comic book Harry read once called Superman.

He looked into her stormy grey eyes, drinking in her features in the evening sunlight that streamed through the sky. She had blonde hair streaked with black among them, which seemed to hide behind her blonde locks, Harry could tell from such an intimate position that it was not a dye. Her blonde hair glowed in the evening sunlight, giving a nice contrast to her black hair. Her ample body was hidden by her robes but not from his touch. Harry's budding hormones were waking up to the mesmerizing show and feel he got from carrying her. Harry quickly shook himself out of his hormone-induced stupor and asked, "Are you okay?"

Why don’t you grope her harder and ask again, creep?

She only nodded her head in response, probably still in shock of her imminent dance with death. Her skin which was pale was much paler than usual because of the fright. Harry smoothly glided his broom back to the ground and he used Observe on her while doing so;

Cassiopeia Malfoy - Hogwarts I year Student - Lvl 10

HP : 500/500

MP : 340/340

STR : 12

VIT : 15

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 22

WIS : 17

CHR : 15

LUC : 6

KAR : 0

Cassiopeia Malfoy is the daughter of Lord Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy nee Black. Draco Malfoy is her twin brother. Her father and brother hate her and sees her more as a valuable object than as a person. She is cared for only by her mother.

We couldn’t possibly have an icky male antagonist have good standings with Harry’s potential love interest. That would complicate the narrative, i.e. the author’s paper-thin excuses to have his fantasies fulfilled.

She is wary of Harry. She feels indebted to him. She wants to be his friend.

Harry landed with Cassiopeia in his hand to the squeals of girls and cheers of boys. As soon as he let Cassiopeia go into the waiting hands of Hooch, Harry received two new messages.

New Perk Obtained!

Knight In Shining Armor : Your charisma receives a permanent +5 stat points. Girls will swoon around you. Flirting receives a +10 % boost.

New Skill Created!

Broomstick Flying - Active - Lvl 1 (4/5)

The ability to use a broom to fly and do amazing stunts with it.

(5 + 40%) handling on a broomstick

What is the point of listing all these arbitrary percentage boosts, if we don’t see their effect whenever he uses the skills? I’m not saying we should see it, I’m saying the author is an idiot.

Harry quickly closed it confused whether to be pleased or angry at it and smiled sheepishly to the crowd as Madam Hooch commented on his excellent flying skill but berated him for his recklessness. Cassiopeia gave a grateful smile as she followed Madam Hooch to the infirmary. Harry smiled back as he internally vowed to be her friend and to protect her from her father and brother. By the time the commotion settled down, Harry knew that he had a new title among the girls of Hogwarts now.

Neville’s remembrall was removed from the plot and Draco got away with everything without as much as a house point deduction. The author achieved what he wanted from the scene and fucking left it.

------------------------

Max character count has been reached. Damn the author's propensity for long-winded chapters. Continuing in the next post.

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StabbyKobold
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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Sat Oct 26, 2019 8:05 am

Back to the nonsense yet again.

------------------------

That day after the class ended, Harry invited Cassiopeia to the library along with Padma and Su. She was hesitant at first but Harry's insistence on the matter caused her to give in. It became apparent that Cassiopeia or Theia as she liked to be called, was good at potions.

I do hope she’s better at it than picking nicknames for herself. What is wrong with “Cass”?

So they swapped their work for inspection. Harry checked the charms work, Padma checked transfiguration, Theia checking potions while Su checked DADA. Su may be shy but her knowledge in DADA was impressive to the group.

After doing their work, Harry checked out some second-year charms books while Padma took Astronomy books since she loved stargazing and wanted to impress their professor. Speaking of stargazing, all of the males of Hogwarts loved stargazing as well, but in their case, it was ogling the young professor Aurora Sinistra, who had olive skin and black hair with chocolate brown eyes. Her curvy figure and fit body had become the fantasies of many males of Hogwarts, including Harry.

Speaking of botched non-sequiturs, what is the author’s obsession with objectifying every named female character of passing attractiveness? Does he not have enough masturbation aid as it is?

All of them went back to the Nest, as was the name used for their common room, where Padma brought out her wizarding chess set, which she had brought with her to Hogwarts. She explained that she liked chess over other wizarding games since it kept the mind sharp.

That and someone has to substitute for Ron during the end of the first year plot.

A game like exploding snap was all about quick reflexes, which her sister always beat her at, she admitted somewhat bitterly.

Harry was amazed by the animations of the chess pieces; they would moan or curse whenever they moved into danger or were destroyed by an enemy piece.

This would become their routine in the evening in the week to come. Soon they became a tight-knit group of friends in the weeks that followed. They always gathered in the library for working out any and all assignments that were given and even having small study sections as well. After completing their workload, they would sit down and discuss their lessons and different theories, while pointing out each other's mistakes or misconceptions. They would also talk about the latest stories in the Hogwarts rumor mill, all over a game of chess before retiring to their beds to repeat the cycle the next day.

Saturday morning, Harry woke up at 5:30 am to do his run around the Quidditch pitch.

But how could he possibly wake up, if we haven’t been obnoxiously told that he slept in a bed?

He chose Saturday and Sunday for this since few people got up so early on weekends. Harry ran five laps and then went for a swim in the black lake, where he met the gentle but giant squid. Harry truly enjoyed the workout.

What does it do for him, aside from facilitating the author’s vicarious dream of having good cardio?

Afterwards, he showered and went for breakfast with his friends and from there each went their separate way. Padma to hang out with her sister, Su for whatever she had to do and Theia to meet up with Daphne and Tracy.

For Harry, it was time to start his search for the place the founders have told him. The room they had created together, the Room of Requirement, which was the key towards finding their treasure rooms. But alas, search he did, found the room he did not. At least the search wasn't entirely wasteful as he found a number of abandoned classrooms where he can learn magic and practice it without interruption.

Because it’s not like he could already do that with Instant Dungeons or anything. Why would he need to use the abilities he has anyway?

In the evening Harry met with his friends again as they returned to their daily routine. This set the tone for the gang's entire week.

Three weeks later

In the three weeks that passed, Harry had gotten closer to his three friends.

Given Harry’s reprehensible character, witnessing such a thing happening would have been unbelievable. So of course, the only option the author has is to inform us about it in post.

Padma has become especially close, while Theia has started to open up and trust him more. Su was silent, but blunt when needed to be. It became apparent that she was not shy, just that she only spoke when it was required by her or when she needed. Her open and blunt statements attested to that.

Harry has missed Nimuae, but it was her decision to stay back in the mansion, keeping Tilly company. In her own words, Harry needed to find more mates and with her around he would not do so.

Or maybe the author completely forgot to utilize Harry’s pocket waifu in any way. He then realized it was outright neglect, and now has to excuse her disappearance – endowing her with free will and making their relationship open for Harry to rope in more girls for his collection.

Thinking about her put a smile on his face, and for the first time, Harry wanted Christmas to come early.

However, Harry was currently sitting in his Head of House's office, waiting for their meeting to start. The chair itself was bit small for his taste, so he decided to do something about it. Standing up, Harry used his Spell Codex to bring up the necessary spell, tapping his wand on the chair he said, "Engorgio", causing it to grow into a comfortable size.

Behind him, he heard clapping and turning he saw Prof. Flitwick clapping excitedly seeing him perform the charm. "Most impressive Mr. Potter, take ten points for performing a second-year charm."

Flitwick is handing out more tips than a lottery winner at a strip club. I know he’s the perfect height for it, but that’s not an excuse to have him kiss ass.

"Thank you, Professor" Harry replied.

"Please, take a seat," Flitwick said gesturing to the chair Harry had just enlarged, with a smile on his face.

"Would you like some tea or perhaps some biscuit?" the tiny wizard offered.

"Thanks but I am full, but I will take you up on that tea though," Harry replied politely, accepting the cup and taking a sip.

What, no charisma stat increase for being polite?

"Now let's get started shall we?" the professor said in a cheerful voice, "I'm sure you're wondering what this is about. This is merely a way for me to get to know the new students and connect with them. Since you have been performing so well I decided to begin with you. It also helps build trust, so I can better advise you on your educational choices," he continued "So are you enjoying your stay at Hogwarts? Is it up to your expectations?"

"Hogwarts itself is beautiful," Harry said with a smile. "I had read a bit about it before coming, but seeing it myself, simply put; the books don't do it justice."

Yes, the castle is pretty, Harry. But unlike your girlfriends, it is what’s on the inside that counts, so answer the man’s actual question.

"Hmm, wonderful," the professor chirped happily, "Many students tend to think that. It's the reason we have the first years enter Hogwarts for the first time the way they do, it adds to the school's beauty and sets the tone."

"Now let's talk about classes and what you think about them. I know you are performing well above the expectations in my class and most of my fellow teachers say the same about you in their classes," Flitwick continued with a smile.

And he needed to catch up with his peers before coming here. Bullshit!

"What do you think of your lessons?"

Weighing up how to word his response before replying, "The best way I can put it would be that I have mixed feelings. Some lessons are a disappointment, such as History and Defence where both teachers are horrible. It's getting to the point that I am considering skipping the lessons and doing independent study in the library. Whereas others have been enjoyable. However I do find some classes to be unchallenging," Harry finished hoping his answer wasn't cocky or arrogant.

His concern is with how his answer to an opinion question is perceived rather than how it would be honest. The mental processes of this automaton are infuriating.

"Ok Harry, tell me what classes do you find unchallenging?"

"No disrespect intended, but I find both yours and Prof. McGonagall's classes unchallenging. As you saw earlier I am already into second year charms and I spent most of last Saturday going through all the first year charms, making sure that I could cast them effectively. Mastering them now is just a matter of time, likewise with most of the transfiguration materials."

"Simply put, I expect I could take the second year exam for both subjects by this summer without much difficulty. You yourself saw part of my charms work," Harry said tapping the chair.

Why did you go to Hogwarts, Harry? You’re learning spells that aren’t being taught to you. Give us a reason aside from a ready access to schoolgirls!

"The rest, I am finding reasonable enough. That said, the negative so far is the potions class, more specifically Prof. Snape's attitude towards me. I find it most unprofessional, especially when you consider this is a place meant for learning," Harry said, "I understand the need for having a strict classroom work ethic, but the attitude is not required."

Have you tried talking with the man? I know it’s not going to work, but your lack of attempt says a lot.

The professor just nodded in agreement before speaking, "Prof. Snape's attitude has often been considered a problem by many students and parents, but the Headmaster requires him. The depth of his Knowledge is unquestioned and finding someone of his skill is a rare thing," he said with a smile before continuing. "Defence and History have been having problems for many years. Budget cuts and policy have led to their decline because even though Hogwarts is not under the Ministry of Magic, it still has to listen to them. The best I can advise is independent study and if you have problems with Defence ask me. I am sure I can help direct your development, after all in my youth I was known to be quick with my wand." The professor's wand suddenly appeared in his hand, before returning to its holster.

"Thank you for your offer, I may take you up on it sometime in the future since I have an interest in developing my own dueling style."

An interest he developed just now, which totally won’t seem odd for a child to have.

"That might be possible in a couple of years. How are you enjoying the time outside of the classroom? I hope the commotion due to you being the Boy-Who-Lived was minimal and has died down by now. I know you are close with Padma, Cassiopeia, and Su." the professor asked.

"It was quite uncomfortable at the beginning, but it has declined since the day I was sorted. My fellow Ravens are good and yes I do like the company of my friends. They have been good for me," Harry replied with a fond smile on his face.

Of course they have. He hand-picked them while considering which students would be useful to him. This self-centered asshole really gets on my nerves.

"That's good, now what other interest do you have?"

"I've started reading some basic Ancient Runes texts on theory and everything since they have many practical usages. And I like anything that challenges me or tests me," Harry replied.

"Most interesting, I am sure our local Rune Mistress will be keen to meet you in your third year." his Head of House said causing Harry to flush a bit in embarrassment.

He should be embarrassed, but not because the author found another female teacher for him to perv on. Study of Ancient Runes is a language course not a practice of spells, and yet every wish fulfillment fanfic decides otherwise.

"Now my senior prefects have told me you haven't been turning up to the group study sections, may I ask why?"

"To be honest, I don't need their help, since all assignments so far are very basic. Why waste two hours going over an essay I have already written to an 'O' level? I prefer to focus my energy elsewhere, plus I don't want to waste the prefect's time when they can spend it helping people who actually need assistance." Harry knew it was a bit arrogant, but he was not going to lie.

A bit arrogant?! You’re claiming that your schoolwork is perfect! It might be, but that is not for you to decide, you pompous dolt!

"Fair point, your charms essays themselves have been at an outstanding level. I don't think you have missed a single point since you started in my class. Maybe it would be for the best to assign a single prefect to monitor your studies, and assist you if you need it," Flitwick stated.

Let me guess, the prefect will have a vagina. Need I justify my assumption to you?

"That's fine as long as he or she doesn't slow me down. I'd rather I didn't have to explain myself," he said jokingly causing the professor to chuckle as well.

"You do have your mother's thirst for knowledge as well as your fathers confidence Mr. Potter," Flitwick said as he hopped off from his chair and removed a rather large and dusty tome from the large bookshelf near his desk, before taking his seat again.

Did he take it from the bottom shelf, or does he have a ladder?

"I hope I have gained enough of your trust that you can come to me if you feel you are not being tested sufficiently. I must cut this wonderful meeting short though for I have a lesson starting in the next couple of minutes. However take this book," he said with a smile before handing over the book.

He then stood abruptly and headed towards the door and opened it for Harry, "I hope my copy of 'Charms: More Than Making Things Float!' challenges you further," he said continuing. "I hope however that you will keep it quiet, I would rather not have my NEWT students swarming me trying to get their copies," Flitwick said with another smile. "Just return it when you have read it to its full potential," he finished with a chuckle, leaving a stunned Harry as he existed the office.

And here I thought, that with two authors, the spelling mistakes would be nonexistent.

Leaving the office quickly, Harry made his way to his dorm, eager to begin reading the tome his Head of House had provided.

While Harry was immersed in the new book, the charms professor came to a decision on who Harry's mentor will be. His fifth-year charms class came to an end, where he called out to the prefect for the position. "Miss Clearwater please stay behind. The rest of you are dismissed, but remember to read the next two chapters."

His reasons for selecting Penelope Clearwater were simple.

Quite so. Now what will the author try to hide them behind?

First, it would give one of his prized Ravens a chance to focus on her OWLS, due to her having only one student to mentor rather than having to take part in leading a study group.

Second, she had a lot to gain if a friendship occurred. It would help her after leaving Hogwarts to have a head of an Ancient and Noble House supporting her. He knew it was often hard for his female students to find respectable careers in the magical world. The magical world was a male-dominated society, and it was especially difficult for muggleborns, despite them often getting better grades than their pureblood counterparts.

Sexist patriarchy takes the fall for the author wanting another pair of tits to orbit his protagonist. If I found hypocrisy funny, this would make me laugh.

Penelope followed her diminutive Head of House to his office, before making her way to the chair in front of his desk, which seemed to be larger than the last time she was here. After sitting down, she looked on as Prof. Flitwick called on a house elf to serve them refreshments.

Flitwick, after thanking the elf, started, "I am sure you are interested in why I asked you to stay behind. But first I have to ask if you had finished reading the book I gave you at the beginning of the term?"

Penny recalled the book he gave her, which was written by the professor himself.

Flitwick certainly is a giver. First he gives Harry a school book for free, and now his memoirs too.

It had been shocking to learn how backward English Wizarding society was. Magical society seems to be stuck in 1700's, where positions were often bought through family connections. Prestige and money were considered much more important than raw talent. With enough money, you could get away with murder, provided you have the right connections.

And a large amount of the society was controlled by a small group of individuals, who controlled the laws, employment rights and positions within the government. Also, no muggleborn had ever risen to be the head of any of the important departments of the Ministry of Magic. The best she could hope for was to be a high ranking secretary, of a rather unimportant department head. It had been sickening to learn how limited her future was without the right connections.

Corruption exists, so what? That’s going on in today’s society, too. Also, no, you dunderhead, there has been a muggleborn minister, his name was Nobby Leach. What is this clunky world re-building getting at, author?

Also, to learn that many of her less talented peers would be favored over her due to their blood status and gender. She was just above werewolves in status which was truly disheartening. Simply put, being a muggleborn and a witch meant most purebloods saw her as a pair of legs for their entertainment and pleasure.

Most wizards would expect her to stay at home to take care of children and be a homemaker. It gave her vision's of Percy's mother, who seemed nice, if a bit controlling. But she wanted more out of her life and this also made her question the true intention of most of her male friends.

The book also helped in explaining the sneers and smirks she got from her some of her male yearmates, who obviously knew that if she wanted to go anywhere in her career 'favors' would be expected from her.

Looking across the table, she saw her Head of House waiting for a response. "Yes, the book you provided me was an eye-opener. I had no idea how backward the Ministry was."

Image

This shit is wrong in so many ways, I struggle to pick which to examine first. Let’s start by reiterating what the author wants us to believe just happened here. We’re told that Flitwick wrote a book. This book, without a given title or subject, somehow chronicles the societal stagnation of the Wizarding World, explaining how the Ministry is an oligarchic patriarchy cesspool of corruption, nepotism, sexism, and racism, where a woman is at the bottom rung of the social ladder. Concerned with the future of his young female students, Flitwick gave this book to, as far as we know, only one of them. Penelope, formerly naïve to the inner workings of magical society, had the veil of ignorance lifted from her eyes by reading this book. That’s what we’re meant to understand from all of this. Now, on to what actually happened.

Flitwick wrote a manifesto, its contents unfounded by facts and holding conclusions that fly in the face of reality. Yes, corruption is a thing, you can’t find a political system without it. But the egregious amount of sexism is a ridiculously exaggeration. The ministry has existed for three hundred years, and for the last two hundred of them there have been female ministers. In fact, just short of half of the ministers for that period were female. Flitwick then handed this propaganda piece to one of his students, for the purpose of grooming an impressionable child to share his political beliefs. And Penelope swallowed every words of it like gospel without the thought to fact check the nonsense handed to her. That’s what happened. But why did it happen?

The author wants his avatar to be a pillar of outstanding virtue. Harry must be the most attractive, most beneficial partner for the opposite gender. But since the author doesn’t know what women finds attractive, he must make the rest of the world deplorable. The entirety of magical society, in which canon explored societal impacts of race but not gender, has just been turned into a sexist shithole, just so the author can excuse Harry getting female attention for being a nice guy. All of this dumped by a suddenly historically and politically aware Flitwick, not as a revelation to the protagonist, but as an excuse to the readers as to how Harry will be allowed a female tutor. This bit of sexism profiteering narrative contrivance is goddamn disgusting.

"I hope you understand I gave them to you in hopes that you will be better prepared when you leave Hogwarts," taking a sip from his cup he continued. "However, I may have found a possible solution for you."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked curiously.

"Well, as you know from the section in the books about peerages and their role in our government, the backing of the Head of an Ancient and Noble House could be beneficial for you. And to that point, Ravenclaw is currently hosting a soon to be Lord, who is more famous than any one student in Hogwarts," Flitwick answered.

Hey, you know this prejudicial system you’ve been told about? Let’s abuse it instead of fighting against it.

"You mean Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived?" Penny asked.

"Indeed, not only is he famous for having that title, but he is also the next Lord Potter of the Ancient and Noble House of Potter. Which means, after Hogwarts you can have the backing of the most influential wizard in our society," he replied while continuing. "Mr. Potter has proven himself to be more talented than his peers, as well as having the potential for great things like his mother and father."

Penny just nodded to show that she was following along, but she was wondering where the professor was heading with all this.

Flitwick is endorsing you doing everything we’ve been told women are expected to do to get ahead in society. It’s not what the author thinks he’s doing, but it sure sounds like it.

"He does not feel the need to attend the study section, and I agree with him. He has proven himself to be far above the average Raven and I expect him to receive two masteries before he leaves Hogwarts," Filius explained causing a shocked look to appear on Penny's face.

The comment about Harry's potential had stunned Penny because it was rare for an individual to even attain one mastery, let alone multiple masteries. To hear that her Head of House expected him to manage at least two meant he had high hopes indeed.

Or that he’s delusional. Much like the author, in fact.

Looking back at her amused professor she asked, "What does this have to do with me?"

"It means that I am hoping you will accept my request for you to be Mr. Potter's mentor. Simply put, I will excuse you from doing study sessions with the lower years so that you can supervise his studying. It will give you more time for your own studies for the coming OWLS exams," Flitwick answered, hoping that the girl would make the connection between the book he gave her and the opportunity he was presenting in aiding the future Lord's education.

Seeing the still clueless face of his student, Flitwick decided to be a bit more obvious, "Traditionally, the Potter family has always been forward thinking and rarely cares about blood purity. Harry himself was raised in the non-magical world and also had a muggleborn mother, I am sure you can see the potential of gaining possible alliance, or your gaining protection of his house early on before his Lordship is announced. I'm sure some of the more politically aware students of Slytherin house are already aware of the possible alliance with Mr. Potter."

It’s like the author thinks friendship is some kind of debt system or another game mechanic that’s meant to be exploited. It’s sad. And hilarious. But mostly sad.

Penny suddenly understood what her professor had been hinting at through the conversation and silently cursed herself for taking so long to catch on. Quickly realizing just how much it could help her by being on good terms with young Lord in years to come. And he is the Boy-Who-Lived, who defeated the dark lord and his mother was muggleborn, which means he won't be dismissive of her, unlike most of his counterparts.

Most of his counterparts aren’t being piloted by a sexually insecure writer, so yeah.

Looking at the professor, she could see he had been following her thought process, so she answered, "It seems a waste not to encourage his talent and skills, I look forward to being able to direct his development."

Flitwick just nodded, "I hope you realize the opportunity you've been presented with and the additional benefits that could arise from tutoring him. Now since our business is done, I must return to my marking," dismissing her.

Penny got up and started making her way to the door before she turned around saying a heartfelt, "Thank you."

Yes, Flitwick, thank you for being a tool for the author to further the self-interests of his self-insert protagonist.

Flitwick looked up from his papers at Penny who was standing near the door, "Don't thank me yet. I just suggested a possible path that could benefit you both, but it is up to you to win the lad's friendship," he said, returning back to his marking. As she left, Prof. Flitwick thought about his bright young witch, who also happened to be a muggleborn. But in her case, he hoped she comes to be young Mr. Potter's friend, without any assistance from him. Of course, he planned to give her the same book he gave Miss Clearwater, but having Harry as a friend by that time would only be to her benefit.

It’s in every female’s best interest to be as close to Harry as possible, we fucking get it! It’s bad enough that Harry is reeling in girlfriends left and right, it’s tiring to read the excused justifications for each and every one of them!

Penelope headed straight for the library, to learn about the Potter family, remembering the fact that Harry would probably be a Lord someday, and that it was best if she at least tried to learn something of his family's recent history, so she wouldn't make an utter fool of herself or screw herself over and ruin her chances by saying the wrong thing. On her way, she could feel the gazes of many males lingering on her ass, while it was flattering, she hated it now knowing their true intentions.

Meanwhile, the author’s intentions have been known all along, and I wish he would stop waterboarding us with them by projecting them onto the antagonists.

Harry was currently reading his way through the book his Head of House had given him. The book focused on how simple charms can be used for unintended purposes, such as combat while giving examples of how combining mundane charms could cause unexpected and sometimes lethal effects.

Basically, the book was about how simple charms can be turned into combat capable spells for using in dueling and personal defense. The advantage is this was that clever usage of simple spells required less power, over some more energy expensive dueling spells.

Tactics like using an overpowered cooking charm on an individual will cause severe burns, muscle damage, as well as creating similar, but weaker effects to that of a blood boiling curse. But these simple spells are easy to heal and counter, leaving no long-term damage and are not illegal to use on another wizard. Simply put, the book encourages a devious mind in the cunning usage of overlooked, common spells to devastating effect. They would be especially dangerous when used with silent casting, where your foe wouldn't immediately recognize the danger the spell presented.

In other words, the author thinks he has come up with clever ideas for spell usage, and is now serving them to his protagonist. Wouldn’t the problem with using simple charms be that they could be countered in similar simple ways? You try to use an over-clocked heating charm; a cooling charm would cancel it out. What would be the point?

Harry really hoped in the years to come that Prof. Flitwick would agree to teach him dueling, even if the style was not effective for him. Because no matter how you look at it, simply being able to learn from a master duelist who relied on skill over direct power would help him develop his own skills in dueling. Additionally, it would help prepare him for other wizards who use similar style. However, his musings were ended when he heard a light tapping sound on his bedroom window.

Making his way over to the window, he saw that there was a Gringotts Bank owl trying to get in. Opening the window, he let the owl in, who deposited the letter on his bed, before quickly disappearing through the window.

And now Harry gets his mail delivered to his personal chambers instead of at the breakfast table. Is this another Ravenclaw privilege, or is this because he’s the main character?

Breaking the seal he read the short message inside;

The previously discussed and agreed upon investments have been made. I also made a number of smaller deals similar to the ones undertaken during the summer. They should prove profitable. I will discuss this with you on your next scheduled visit to the bank.

May your gold flow and your enemies bleed.

Bloodfist

Senior Account Manager

Smiling at the news Harry thought the goblin was doing a good job.

The author is doing a good job at bloating this chapter with needless shit. Why are we meant to care about Harry’s finances?

He had looked over the Potter investment portfolio during the summer holidays and was very interested in reopening the Potter Docklands which had been a major cash cow for his family before the last war and the death eater attacks which resulted in its destruction after several raids. Along with the redevelopment of the Potter holdings surrounding the Docklands, which could possibly be rented out to new businesses. Frankly, it would give London's Diagon alley some serious competition if redeveloped correctly..and all of it under his and his families control. Of course, he had to do it eventually as it also became a quest when he thought about it;

A quest has been created.

So we’re not even pretending these exist before Harry thinks about them now? It’s about time.

Quest Alert!

City Builder : Build a Magical City!

Reopen the Potter Docklands

Redevelop the surrounding area of Docklands in Edinburgh

Build Edinburgh Magical City

Rewards,

1,000,000xp each for completing each target

New Title - City Builder

8,000,000 galleons

?

?

Failure,

Destruction of Potter Family Holdings and Docklands

Death

YES - NO

I wish the author had a quest of making a good fanfic, because judging from the failure conditions it would have, I wouldn’t be having this much of a headache!

Harry accepted it even though the scale of the quest was large, he did it because doing so helped in completing the quest for rebuilding the Potter fortune.

He was already considering asking Bloodfist about it, as soon as the current businesses were sorted and fixed, to make preliminary moves to reopen the alley and docks again. He was pretty certain that businesses would return to the area if the right incentives were placed to entice them, such as low rent for a fixed period of time or a percentage of their profits, and prime shop position on the magical high street.

Oh yeah, I’m sure the place that was decimated as a direct target by a terrorist attack will attract people like flies to honey.

But first, he would discreetly buy up the old businesses and other real estate in the area he could get ahold of, both magical and non-magical, whilst the land value was still low and before anyone realized his plans for the redevelopment of the area. After all, if anyone found out it would drive up the land value, decreasing the potential profit. Considering the money he would be sinking into the place and the political obstacles he'd need to overcome to make it a reality, he wanted to control as much of it as he could before he even started.

Harry Potter: Business Tycoon. Shut up about the wealth accumulation already!

He knew Bloodfist would be supportive and more than willing to try; this project could very well triple the yearly revenue currently flowing into the Potter vaults if not more, improving the goblin's own prominence and position in the bank.

Naturally, he would try to buy a good percentage of the surrounding real estate under the Debonair name to help prevent the people from connecting the dots. However he would have to be careful; he doubted that other powerful families, especially the ones who stole from him and those who have business interests in Diagon Alley, would take kindly to seeing their profits decrease with the opening of another magical shopping alley much less a magical city.

It would take time and allies, but he was young and patient. His hours of grinding imparted the true value of patience in him. He just needed to plan out his moves carefully and gather the right set of allies and supporters while taking advantage of every opportunity, including the title of Boy-Who-Lived, as it became available.

Exploit everything! The only gains that matters are your own! Fuck friendship unless you want to fuck your friends! What monsters imparted these values upon you, author?

Noticing the time on the clock, it was time for dinner and he had agreed to meet with Hagrid after it, he wanted to hear more stories about his parents, so he hurried out of his dorm to get dinner.

After finishing his dinner, Harry made his way down the worn stone path to the Groundskeeper's hut, as darkness started engulfing the sky and the sun steadily set for the evening. The hut was a modest home, but it was warm and friendly like the Groundskeeper himself and had that natural earthly feel about it.

The evening slowly ticked by as Hagrid introduced his dog named Fang to him and told him stories of his parents. The rock cake Hagrid gave him seems to be edible only for people like Hagrid, taking after its name.

What are you even saying? That giants eat rocks? What?

Finally, after several stories, he got around to asking why he named the dog 'Fang', the half-giant replied fondly with an easy smile, "It gives him courage," before patting the dog with surprising gentleness on its brow.

This lead to a whole other series of discussion about all the magical creatures Hagrid had met. Hagrid told Harry about the giant squid in the lake, which Harry admitted have seen, the grindylows, the mermen, the centaurs in the forest, who keep the unicorns safe. And of course the Headmasters phoenix, which Harry was very interested as he remembered about how he can evolve his Hedwig to one using Holy fire.

I hope Hagrid admonished Harry for the idea of setting his pet bird on fire, just because some imaginary pop-up window told him he should.

Sadly Hagrid had never heard of any holy fire. Hagrid also told him he would like to have a dragon as a pet one day. This lead Harry to ask, "Got any other pets of interest?"

"Only Fluffy, nice dog, really loyal, totally harmless, wouldn't hurt a soul," Hagrid started in explanation whilst taking a gulp of his own drink, "The headmaster asked if he could borrow him for the rest of the year," the groundskeeper exclaimed further with a half smile, as he recalled his pet.

Feeling curious about why would the Headmaster need a dog, he asked again, "Hagrid what kind of dog is Fluffy?"

"Oh Fluffy is just my favorite three-headed dog, you know a Cerberus, right?" He responded in a caring manner gulping down his drink, totally missing the shocked expression on Harry's face.

"I didn't realize they were real. I thought they were fiction from Ancient Greece," He replied quickly, realizing many fictions he read might actually be real. After all, Hagrid just confirmed the existence of Cerberus.

This is what clued you in, and not the fucking tree nymph you saved from a cyclops?!

What else could be out there? Are there Hydras? And to top it all he had made it a game world with his wish, anything is possible now. It suddenly dawned on him that he would have to spend some time in the library reading up about such magical creatures, to fully find out which are real and which are not. It would also help him when he goes dungeon hunting as well as when he faced whatever the founders have put as guards.

“New knowledge, I must exploit it!” This is his reaction every time, and it is getting way past old.

"Nah, Harry," shaking his head, his long beard falling into his giant mug, for him maybe the correct size. "Cerberus have been used for centuries as guard dogs by wizards and witches to guard their treasures. They are far easier to train than other magical creatures, such as dragons. After all, a dragon may just cook you alive," the giant joked, as Harry listened patiently before the groundskeeper pressed on in explanation. "Best a Cerberus will do is bite a limb off, or two, you'll just be unlucky if it gets your head, instead of a leg. You just need to know how to train them," he replied while taking another gulp before continuing on.

“But, err, Fluffy wouldn’t hurt a soul. Totally. Even though Dumbledore borrowed him for that purpose. But he’s harmless. Trust me.”

"Cerberus are just like normal dogs really, extremely loyal, but they are also extremely sensitive to sounds, even more so since they have three pairs of ears," looking at Harry again he said. "You just need to train them from a young age to respond to a set piece of music, so when the instrument is played, the dog calms down and falls right to sleep."

Harry's thinking has moved from the fact that mythical creatures existed to why the Headmaster needed a Cerberus in the first place, just then a quest menu different from the ones he got before popped up;

A chain quest has been added!

Chain Quest Alert!

Mystery of the Third Floor (1/5)!

Where was this during Dumbledore’s welcome speech?

What's up Dog? : Find Fluffy's Job!

Find out why the Headmaster asked Hagrid's pet Cerberus for.

Rewards,

500xp

Next Quest in the Chain Quest

Failure,

Death to you and the Hogwarts students

Possible destruction of world

Fuck off, author, you overdramatic simpleton!

Unlike the other ones, the quest was itself accepted taking the choice away from Harry. He clicked on the chain quest to get info about it.

Chain Quests :

Chain Quests are those life turning quests that you must complete no matter what. It is basically a series of interrelated quests that gets harder as you progress from the first quest of the chain to the last. The rewards for such quest also increase from the first to last, for example, the XP gain will be triple of the previous quest in the chain.

Image

I hate this. Truly. Because here, the author could have an actual caveat to Harry’s cruise control cakewalk of a fucking existence. He tells us that these “chain quests” are imperative for him to complete. He is forced to do them, otherwise he and the world itself will cease to be. As asinine as that is, especially since that would run counter to Voldemort’s ambitions, I’ll roll with it for now. My problem is that the author jacks up the quest reward, as if it could serve as a bigger incentive. The motherfucker will DIE if he doesn’t do this, what more reason does he need?! This would have been so much better, if there wasn’t a reward. Have it be a thankless task, a burden for him as the “hero” to bear, a metaphorical chain to bind him. The author is saddling the twelve-year-old with the fate of the world, and has him protect it for the reward rather than for the sake of actually saving lives! I am fucking livid right now!

Closing, Harry decided to try his luck with Hagrid since he seems to be a bit drunk.

"Hagrid, you never told me what the Headmaster wanted with the Cerberus"

"Oh, that Fluffy is being used as a guard on the third-floor room inside Hogwarts," Hagrid replied somewhat regaining his mental thoughts.

"But why do you need to guard the third floor in the first place?" Harry persisted.

"You don't need to know that Harry, it's between the Headmaster and Nicholas Flamel." Suddenly Hagrid sobered up, muttering, "I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have."

And Harry shouldn’t have wished for the world to be his personal playground either. At least you’re capable of regret, Hagrid.

But Harry wasn't listening as he looked at the messages popped in front of him;

Chain Quest 1/5 Complete!

What's up Dog? : Find Fluffy's Job!

Rewards,

500xp

Chain Quest Alert!

Mystery of the Third Floor (2/5)!

Who's that? : Find the mystery man!

Find out who Nicholas Flamel is.

Rewards,

1500xp

Next Quest in the Chain Quest

Failure,

Death to you and the Hogwarts students

Possible destruction of world

Harry quickly closing the messages, he turned towards Hagrid, "Hagrid who's Nicholas Flamel?"

"Oh Blimey, look at the time Harry it's almost time for curfew. Back you go Harry and listen, forget what I said about Nicholas Flamel and don't tell anyone I said that would ya?" Hagrid hurriedly pushed Harry out of his house and closed the door saying goodnight.

Climbing the worn stone steps back to the castle, under the huge shadows it cast on the setting sun, Harry missed everything around him as he had only one question in mind;

"Who's Nicholas Flamel?"

I guess he never read the chocolate frog cards that he somehow bought on the Hogwarts Express.

(AN

To Outlaw,

No the karma is not based on infamous, Inimicus gave me the idea for it, he may have thought it based on it.

Nope, writing one story is hard enough man :)

Yes, there is a possibility of Karma affecting party recruitment. But not going to spoil any fun explaining it. The karma status has other implications as well, which will be discussed in later chapters.

By discussed, do you mean ham-fistedly wedged into the story in the exact way that will benefit Harry the most? Because I bet you do.

For Dovahchu,

About the NPC characters being the same level or not, are you sure they are all NPC's or are they more? Buhahaha

What do I even say to this that I haven’t already? Harry thinks they are NPCs. Whether or not they actually are is secondary, in my opinion.

Now for Hiei - Uchiha,

About putting money in his vault, Harry hasn't thought about it. And he likes having money on hand. About the weight of money, I made the inventory so that money doesn't have any. Besides he will deposit it before it goes above the range of 600,000. So hope that solves that problem.

Next Chapter - Damsels in Distress)

Oh, fuck me sideways, a white knight chapter. It’s probably Hermione’s run-in with the troll, too. What contrivance is going to make it plural of damsel, though?

------------------------

On one hand, the amount of videogame exploitation has diminished. On the other, it has been replaced with the author handcuffing girls to his protagonist for the crime of being sexually compatible. And it is a veritable crime spree, as every named female character besides McGonagall seems to peak the author’s interest. Like a demented Rube Goldberg, the author has set up the lines of dominoes and we’re getting closer and closer to the inevitable payoff. I hope it comes soon, because fanfic authors usually loses interest in their story afterward.

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GorillaGamer
Posts: 251
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Location: Adelaide: South Australia

Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by GorillaGamer » Sat Oct 26, 2019 10:59 am

The author wants his avatar to be a pillar of outstanding virtue. Harry must be the most attractive, most beneficial partner for the opposite gender. But since the author doesn’t know what women finds attractive, he must make the rest of the world deplorable. The entirety of magical society, in which canon explored societal impacts of race but not gender, has just been turned into a sexist shithole, just so the author can excuse Harry getting female attention for being a nice guy.
This is a common trend I tend to see in fanfictions, and one that I despise with all my heart. It's the most insecure and lascivious trend that plagued the medium and an admittance that the author writing this is incredibly insecure. Because it's not enough that the self-insert is the kindest, most respectful character in the fic; no, they gotta make all the other men comically sexist pigs because subtly is non-existent to these writers. And let's not mention the double standard of the author decrying a sexist system in their story, all while they have their cock-puppet collect women as if they were baseballs cards. A trend I've noticed in harem fics is that the more participants present in said harem, the less character and respect that each individual participant gets, and this fic is more than shaping up to be another representative of that trend.
Jesus man what is up with you and all of those waifus! Are you secretly the "Ultimate Pimp"?
A quote from Project AFTER
Gorillagram only gets sexual stimulation from playing Pokemon Reborn and its derivatives.
A quote from Andrew himself

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StabbyKobold
Posts: 85
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:51 am
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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Fri Jan 10, 2020 2:22 pm

@GorillaGamer: Hitting the nail on the head there. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Ever hear of the “wheat and chessboard” problem? The story goes that at the invention of chess, its creator asked their king for a reward in wheat grain. Starting with one wheat grain upon the first tile of the chessboard, moving on to the next the amount of grains would double until reaching the last tile. It’s a mathematical example of exponential growth, as the king accepts the deal, thinking it will end up being only a small amount – but in actuality there isn’t even enough wheat in the kingdom. This is my analogy for this story. My annoyance with it started small at chapter one, and has subsequently doubled with each chapter. We are now at the ninth tile, where we’re past five hundred times the original amount. It’s really just a roundabout way of me saying this chapter is some of the most tiring, infuriating, and terrible piece of wish fulfillment I’ve worked my way through yet. Enjoy.

------------------------

Chapter 9: Damsels in Distress

Kyrin's A/N : Cosmetic changes

(AN

Plot points of the chapter shared with and given by Inimicus.

All suggestions, remarks, criticism, and reviews are welcome._

I’m more than happy to deliver, because I also happen to be annoyed, disgusted, and insulted.

Chapter 9

A couple of days have passed since Harry received his second quest in the chain quest. Harry was at a loss as he had searched the library for clues about Nicholas Flamel to no avail.

Which was rather odd in the books for me. Flamel invented a wondrous magical artifact sought after for millennia. Him not even being a footnote in a magical school library would be like our libraries not having a reference to Einstein.

He couldn't ask any of his fellow Ravens until he knew what he was getting into by doing these chain quests. Asking around will put him in a spotlight he didn't want. He could already tell that both the Headmaster and the potions master were keeping an eye on him whenever they could.

Blame school staff for paying attention to their students, why don’t you?

The fact that he couldn't find the Room of Requirement also frustrated him.

Harry had tried to enter the third-floor corridor, to try and figure out what it was about, only to fail in that too. Every time he tried to go there, he ended up in one of the other corridors. After several tries, Harry came to the conclusion that a strong intention based ward has been put on the corridor, keeping anyone who wants to enter being diverted away.

Is that what’s getting put on all the good fanfics nowadays?

Only then did Harry understand the man that was revered by all and feared by his enemies, Albus Dumbledore. By saying not to go there, he effectively stopped anyone from getting there, by making them all wanting to go there, only to be stopped and diverted by the intention wards he placed. This way all the students are kept away, and he was sure there were traps inside for any adult who enters it breaking the ward. And thinking back, there was no information about the third-floor corridor among the infamous Hogwarts rumor mill as well, meaning no one knows about it either. Even the Gryffindor terror twins haven't been able to get in there it seems.

Or whoever did get in died that very painful death that Dumbledore warned about. Or they could simply be keeping quiet about it. But you keep playing your 4D mind chess, I’m sure the author will validate it.

The only loophole Harry could find was if he somehow stumbled upon it without realizing, whose chances were close to zero. And even then, there may be other monitoring wards placed inside. Sure, an adult wizard could get past the wards, but that's where the many traps laid will come into the picture. Harry was sure that there was more than Hagrid's Fluffy guarding whatever was in there.

Currently sitting in the Great Hall, Harry shook the frustrating thoughts away. Looking around the hall, he could see many students talking and laughing in different groups. Some would say just looking around was a waste of time, but for Harry who had Observe in his arsenal, it was a treasure trove of information on his various targets.

Did this shameless cretin read George Orwell like they were self-help books or something?

Moving his gaze towards the Slytherin table, he could see two factions among the first years. The first one lead by Draco Malfoy included his pets, or minions or whatever you want to call them, personally, Harry called them Dumb and Dumber, Crabbe and Goyle, his eternal groupie Pansy Parkinson and the towering, for a first-year girl, Millicent Bulstrode.

One of two factions, this one populated by undesirables. Let me guess, the other one will all be girls Harry wants to put in a personal petting zoo?

The second contained three girls, all of them beautiful, Daphne Greengrass, Tracey Davis, and Blaise Zabini, the Italian beauty with olive skin, black hair and mesmerizing purple eyes. Yep, Harry was, nowadays, horny all the time. He couldn't avoid taking a peek at all the beautiful ladies he was surrounded by.

Remember to tip your author for putting so many attractive twelve-year-olds around you.

Harry used the chance to Observe Draco, he needed to know why he was hostile towards Theia;

Draco Malfoy - Hogwarts I year student - Lvl 10

HP : 480/480

MP : 320/320

STR : 15

VIT : 15

DEX : 13

END : 11

INT : 17

WIS : 13

CHR : 10

LUC : 8

KAR : -5

Draco Malfoy is the spoiled son of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy. He is his father's pride and joy, while being his mother's shame. He is the heir to the Noble house of Malfoy. Due to him having a sister, he can't take the Black Lordship as long as she's alive.

Now in what backwards, patriarchal society does that make sense? Was Flitwick just gaslighting Penelope with his agenda piece? You can’t have it both ways, author.

His father has tasked him with eliminating his sister while they are at Hogwarts in order to get her birthright as the Black Heir. Because of his father's influence, he sees his mother more as a trophy than as a mother or even a person.

To Harry everyone is an NPC. I just thought I should remind everybody.

Draco wants to topple Harry and become the top dog in Hogwarts. He is wary of Harry.

Harry mentally seethed reading the info, looking at his Karma points, he knew Draco had done bad things other than trying to kill his sister. Was the broom incident the first time he ever tried to kill his sister?

Maybe you should establish how much a karma point is worth before measuring with it. For all I know, it’s because he doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom.

Up until now Harry avoided and disregarded Draco as just a nuisance and at best a comedy relief. His daily routine of getting into a fight with the ginger first year Weasley, Ronald, was amusing at best and irritating at worse. Weasley was trying to be the top dog in the Gryffindor house and naturally, the two contestants had to have a fight every time they see each other.

But now Harry was thinking otherwise, Weasley was just that, a weasel, he wouldn't be any problem, with him being a loudmouth about being light or something.

Image

The absolute absurdity that is Ronald Weasley as portrayed by every fanfic author I come across continues to astound me. Not only do we have to believe this nonsense has taken place – without the author deigning it the pittance of a scene for it to play out in – we must also compartmentalize the fact, that the Weasleys raised six well-adjusted children, yet somehow failed to have common human behavior stick with this one. Even further, the ridiculousness of a first-year student vying for the position of “top dog” is so dumb I’m tempted to call it cute. Also, you do not, and I repeat, do not become the “top dog” in any school that your older sibling attends. You just don’t.

But Draco, he had just rose in rank in his take care of list. Keeping Theia safe has become his priority now and thankfully she had Padma and Su with her most of the time. Also, she had Daphne's and Tracey's friendship as well. Harry sighed at how his life has just turned into a soap opera.

If only that were so. It would make for a better read than videogame menus.

Harry was brought of his musings by a call from Anthony or Tony as he liked to be called, "Hey Harry, here, I got another Dumbledore chocolate frog card. I already have more than a dozen, so here you go," he said as he tossed the card to Harry before he could refuse it. Catching it, he examined the card out of curiosity; '...Dumbledore is famous for his findings in the twelve uses of dragon blood along with the famous Immortal Alchemist Nicholas Flamel...',

Really? The solution to Harry’s problem doesn’t just fall into his lap, it literally gets thrown into it? Since when did Harry even give off the impression that he was collecting, much less having an interest in chocolate frog cards? Was is between him eye-fucking anything with a pulse and planning the exploitation of every student in Hogwarts?

Harry's brain stopped for a moment. It rewired and read the passage again, and again, and again until a full-blown smile appeared on his face. Of course, without the Gamer's Mind, he would be doing an evil lord impersonation like what was happening in his mind right then with the lightning and thunder included.

Author, you’re not making a joke. You’re admitting your protagonist has no good intentions.

"Thank you, Tony," he said as he mentally said 'Thank you 50 luck stat'.

Thank you, weak excuse for bad writing.

He just found out who Nicholas Flamel is, and Harry mentally slapped himself for forgetting about the myths and fictions of the Philosopher's stone when he learned chemistry. Seriously, alchemy and the stone that can turn things into gold was legendary.

Do you want to continue digging this plothole bigger, Harry? Because I’ll hand you a shovel.

And to prove his success, the blue message box popped up;

Chain Quest 2/5 Complete!

Who's that? : Find the mystery man!

Rewards,

1500xp

Chain Quest Alert!

Mystery of the Third Floor (3/5)!

Why's it here? : Find out the schemes!

Find out why the stone is now guarded at Hogwarts, what the true intentions are?

To keep it safe. It’s not that complicated.

Rewards,

4500xp

Next Quest in the Chain Quest

Failure,

Death to you and the Hogwarts students

Possible destruction of world

Harry was delighted and basking in his moment of victory until the next quests weight fell upon him and brought him back to reality. 'Well I won't find this one in the library,' Harry thought. Obviously, it's here since someone tried to steal it and failed, 'Didn't Hagrid say that Hogwarts was the safest place, maybe even more so than Gringotts itself? But a simple case of theft wouldn't be the only reason. To have the stone here now when I just happen to be entered into my first year, coincidence? Nope, there is more to this than meets the eye. And I am somehow in the middle of it. Seriously the number of plots and people trying their own dirty schemes is ridiculous. Is there no rest for me? And I don't even know who all the players in the game are. It has become a serious headache.'

Harry, if it wasn’t because you quite literally made yourself the focal point for all of reality, you would be a paranoid narcissist. Instead, you’re just a narcissist who is always right.

Harry stopped his brooding and decided to get on with his daily life, as he headed to the library to meet up with his friends. Harry hummed softly as he walked, thinking about the curvy bodies of his female friends.

I wonder at what convenience the author will remember that these characters are children.

After doing their usual study section, Harry said goodbye to his friends as he wanted to check out the magical creatures section. He was intrigued by them ever since his conversation with Hagrid, plus the additional knowledge would only help him in the long run. Using his occlumency, he could store the information and could recall them back perfectly any time later. Harry went straight to the section containing magical creatures, standing in front of the massive section of the library, he realized it could take a while.

His curiosity can only be sated by absorbing every piece of knowledge available to him. Such elegance with which the author provides a throwaway excuse for his Marty Stu to acquire any and all knowledge he’ll need later.

Penny had only been partially successful in finding out about the Potter Family. All she could get from the library was that the Potter's have been in England for about two thousand years and was one of the 7 ruling warlords of old and who were also part of the 13 who created the first form of Wizengamot.

Right. The Potters definitely didn’t descend from Linfred of Stinchcombe, affectionately known as the ‘the Potterer’, as Rowling has described. They were all kings and queens with power and wealth, because why wouldn’t they be – anything else would be downright stupid, wouldn’t it?

Throughout history, there was mention of several Potters who had done prominent and glorious deeds in life. The only thing she could find about Harry's family was the story almost every magical knows of, how the Dark Lord came after them and was destroyed by baby Harry. There wasn't any book that told about that awful night, that went beyond this simple tale in detail.

Probably except for all those books infringing upon Harry’s name, which he specifically hired a lawyer to do something about. I don’t tolerate sloppy continuity, as you might have noticed.

However, her planning for how to confront Harry was derailed as her person of interest just walked into the Magical creatures section of the library which was in front of the section she was in. Penny thought this was odd since the subject wasn't taught until 3rd year, but there had to be a reason for his interest.

Or, if you will follow me on this one Penelope, the reason he has an interest might be that he – and here comes the big reveal – is interested. It needn’t be any more complicate than that. Not everything has to be buried under three layers of premeditation.

Watching the first year, she gathered her courage and decided to introduce herself.

But before that, she picked up her hand mirror and started smartening herself up, she wanted to have a smart look, but not a bookworm one.

She can’t possibly look like herself! She must look like the author wants her to!

Checking once again that everything was perfect, she walked across to Harry who had sat down and was holding two tomes in his hands.

I don’t think the dual wielding feat works like that, Harry.

Deciding to make her presence known, she gave a light cough to make him aware of her.

Looking up from the book he had been browsing, Harry was met with the sight of the beautiful fifth-year prefect. From his position, he could see the bountiful mounds of the girl, through her open robes. Smiling, he asked, "Yes, can I help you?"

Depends; can the author help himself?

Penny gave a smile, hoping to disarm him, "Yes, Prof. Flitwick tasked me with being the one to monitor your studying for the rest of your school year. I believe he talked to you about it?"

Harry while she gave the answer to his question, used Observe on her;

Penelope Clearwater - Hogwarts V year student - Lvl 15

HP : 550/550

MP : 420/420

STR : 13

VIT : 17

DEX : 14

END : 12

INT : 27

WIS : 16

CHR : 17

LUC : 7

KAR : 0

Penelope Clearwater is a muggle-born witch. She is the fifth year prefect and is a bright student. She is good at charms and runes. She wants to get away from her home as soon as possible, due to her overbearing mother, vulgar stepfather and arrogant stepbrother. She has been tasked to be Harry's mentor by Prof. Flitwick.

The author has to break every home these waifs come from, otherwise what other reason would they have to jump into Harry’s inventory?

Penelope wants Harry's friendship and possible protection of his house from other purebloods. She wants his support to achieve a good career in life.

Harry who already knew about the prejudice of the wizarding world, couldn't fault her for her ambition and the course she has taken. But the hormonal Harry wanted her and her talents for himself.

She wants the benefits of a friend; he wants a friend with benefits. Like two perfectly meshing puzzle pieces from entirely, revoltingly different jigsaw puzzle.

If the other purebloods don't give her a chance, well what's loss for them, is a gain for him. With that, he decided to charm the prefect, as having a prefect in his pocket would help him a lot, like a late night exploration or protection from other prefects and the sort.

Mutual exploitation; the best kind of friendship!

"Yes, he did," Harry replied, "But he didn't say it was the beautiful fifth-year prefect." Yes, he knew it was cliché but he had faith in his flirting skill and his new perk 'Knight In Shining Armor'.

The author has spent many chapters building up this excuse to have his still prepubescent avatar sweet talk girls. I suppose I’d be even more outraged if he didn’t provide a payoff.

Penny smiled with a little blush, "Penelope Clearwater, but you can call me Penny," she said offering her hand.

Harry brought the offered hand to his lips and gave a light kiss before lowering it, putting his other hand which was now free of holding the book on top of her hand, "Harry James Potter, it's a pleasure to meet such a fine lady," he said, quickly disarming her with his charm. Whatever response she planned was forgotten by Penny as she was swept away by Harry's smooth words.

Smooth? Saying “pretty girl is pretty,” is like flirting with all the wit of a caveman. At least cheesy lines about angels falling from heaven can claim to be poetic.

Still holding the girl's hand, waiting for her to respond and seeing none, Harry suggested, "Penny, how about we get our books together and head back to the Nest, so we can get to know each other better. After all, there is no point waiting until our first tutoring session when we are both free now?" causing the girl to blush more brightly, completely throwing her off-guard by the sudden invitation.

He tucked his books under his arms and led Penny away to check his books out of the library. All the way to the Ravenclaw tower, Harry led Penny by her hand as she failed to come up with any response.

Harry’s presence has already sapped her of all agency.

While walking, Penny was having small visions of Harry taking off with her on a broom into the sunset. Every girl in Hogwarts knew of Harry's rescuing of Cassiopeia Malfoy, and all of them cursed at the luck of the girl to be the one he rescued. On top of being the Boy-Who-Lived, he was quite handsome and after the incident quite dreamy too. Penny had heard many a story of how a number of females played with themselves to the thoughts of being done in by the Boy-Who-Lived. Penny too had one or two such dreams.

First off, he’s twelve. Stop it. Secondly, he’s fucking twelve! I don’t care how high his charisma score is; not every girl in the world will want to sleep with him! Thirdly, in what kind of world would teenage schoolgirls openly regale their classmates with their masturbation habits and sexual fantasies about the new boy in school, WHO IS TWELVE?!

Upon arriving at the common room, Harry decided it was too noisy to have a private chat. Turning towards Penny he said, "It's too busy in here for a good chat, let's go to my room." Leading her up the stairs like a doll, not waiting for her reply or agreement.

After getting inside, he sat her on the bed while he also took a place next to her. Penny was in a daze through the whole process. Reaching the room, she gained some semblance of control over her mind. Looking around Penny found that his room was tidy and neat, unlike other males she had heard about.

His room is clean, so he must be a saint! Let’s throw the rest of his gender under the bus! In a world where you can clean up with a wave of a pointy stick, what does it even matter?

"So Penny, tell me about yourself," Harry's question brought her out of her scrutiny of his room.

Penny and Harry then spent some time getting to know each other, their favorite subjects, how much Harry has progressed and if Harry needed any help with a particular subject. Soon they worked out a plan for the study sections which Penny also didn't mind if his friends joined them as well. After Penny left, Harry went to find his friends to tell them about his new mentor and inviting them to his study sections.

Lately, Harry had been distracted by the lone form of Hermione Granger in the library, buried between books and not one soul around her.

No potential love interest gets left behind!

The scene reminded Harry of how he used to be before he got his powers. The girl was obviously lonely, he didn't need to be a mind reader to pick it up. It was clear from her longing glances towards Harry and his group and the body language that she wanted company but couldn't bring herself to join them out of some misguided pride.

There you go again, author; pretending you understand human behavior.

'This has gone long enough' Harry thought with determination to get her out of her shell. And the only way to do so was to disturb her and be assertive, so Harry went about saying hello whenever he passed by her. Somehow his smile, which made every other girl, even some young professors blush, seems to have little effect on her.

She is not immediately beguiled by the protagonist’s effortless charms? Something must clearly be wrong with her, which can only mean that Harry will try to fix it. I wonder when he’ll have a motivation for doing all this, that isn’t just the author steering him by the dick.

But Harry persisted and eventually, an opportunity presented itself to Harry.

Hermione Granger was a bright girl, from the very young age of 4 years old she started speaking fluently and reading books. By the age of seven, she could understand higher grade books. When the doctors once examined her, they find out that she had an eidetic memory, the ability to remember everything she sees. But for all her smartness, she couldn't make any friends. For her classmates were all below her intelligence level and for them, she was a bookworm and as such neither could find a common ground in which they could develop a friendship. Thus books became her friends, her secret keeper, her joy and her life. She had her loving parents for human company, though they wished she had some friends of her age.

Did I miss the great bookworm purge of 1988 or something? Why are studious children suddenly a rare breed bordering on extinction?

It was then that one day, a person came bringing news of a fantasy world, a world of magic she had only read about in books. She was a witch and Hermione was over the moon. Magic and unicorns filled her thoughts as she anticipated her journey and the start of a new life at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And in the smallest corner of her mind, she desperately hoped to find someone to be her friend, even if it's only one person.

How touching. The little girl has lived all her life with a hole in her heart, shaped like the author’s cock.

But it was not meant to be. Even as she was sorted into the house of bookworms, as the rest of the school like to call Ravenclaws, she couldn't find any friends. If she at least admitted to herself, it was partially due to her fault. Years of having no friends, her only satisfaction was in being the top of the class and the teacher's favorite student. But that was also taken from her as Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived had beaten her in every subject. And to top it off, the resident Potion Master seems to take out his anger on her, berating her from the first day of the class itself.

Okay, the author was already pushing it by entirely denying Hermione the ability to interact with her peers, but now he’s just making shit up to drive Hermione deeper into Harry’s arms than a basilisk tooth.

She was frustrated and lonely, so she kept burying herself in her books. Only for it to backfire on her. Hermione had gone overboard with her studying, as she got less sleep and less food so as to spend more time studying, in order to beat Harry. The competition with him was the only source of camaraderie she could find in the vast magical school.

Of course, no one except for the author avatar is observant enough to notice the distraught girl studying herself into an early grave. Not a single teacher or prefect has a function outside of granting the protagonist with either house points of female attention. Can this story function on something else than contrivance?!

Hermione was in potions class now and she couldn't properly concentrate on what she was doing as she was mentally and physically fatigued. She knew she shouldn't attempt to create a potion in such a state, but her pride kept her on. Just then she added something to the potion, that caused it bubble and boil out. Before it could explode in her face, Hermione was tackled away by Harry who had been watching her with concern, all through the class.

How fortunate that Harry neglected his own work in order to creepily stare at Hermione until an exploitable situation arose.

The incident had caused the ire Prof. Snape had for her, to increase more and to bore down on her, calling her an insufferable know it all and other mean things. Hermione, who was already in a state of sleep deprivation and mental fatigue, broke down crying.

Sure, naturally, obviously, the girl suffering burnout and sleep deprivation totally has the ability to exhibit such behavior during class. How monumentally lazy are you, author? If you’re going to make Hermione the poster child for school stress, then at least have Snape’s insults reflect that, instead of having him parrot lines from two books into the future. It’s not hard to do, you literary sloth!

Harry was angry, very angry at what the professor had done. Sure she made a mistake, she shouldn't have been making a potion in such a state, but that didn't mean you can call her names and verbally abuse her. It reminded Harry very much of his time at Dursley's. So Harry promptly rained on the professor parade of berating Hermione as he hugged the sobbing Hermione and told her he would help with completing the potion.

The author constructed a strawman, and then proceeded to attack it with a whiffle bat. Yeah, you sure showed him, Harry.

Without waiting for the permission of Prof. Snape and Hermione, Harry took her hand and sat her down beside him, where he promptly salvaged her potion and helped her in making an acceptable color changing potion, which was the potion assigned to create in that class. Hermione who was already in a state of distress, went along with Harry during the potion making, as well as after the class was over. Harry took her to the infirmary to see Madam Pomfrey, where Hermione was forced to down a dreamless sleep potion.

“Hogwarts horror; emotionally vulnerable witch violently assaulted and drugged against her will.” The newspapers would have a fucking field day.

Waiting by the side of Hermione's bed, Harry thought back to what happened in the potion class. He, just like a couple of days before, was watching Hermione as she started making her potion. Harry knew just by looking at the bags under her eyes and the tousled hair, ok maybe more than usual tousled hair, that she was under mental fatigue. He hoped she wouldn't make any mistakes and put herself and others in danger. Just then, he received a new chain quest which made him extra cautious;

A chain quest has been added!

Chain Quest Alert!

Hermione's Hero (1/3)!

Watch Out : Lookout for Hermione!

Lookout for Hermione and save her from the exploding potion

Rewards,

500xp

Next Quest in the Chain Quest

Failure,

Possible death to Hermione

Permanent damage to Hermione

Chain quests were hyped up as things that Harry absolutely had to do, the first one having the failure result of worldwide destruction. I’m not saying a life isn’t worth saving, but this is still a step down from that and not necessarily something Harry has to do.

Of course, before he could even warn her, she had added the boomslang skin to the boiling potion. Harry's high DEX stat helped in reaching her quickly and saving her from getting a potion explosion to the face. Then there was the case of the slimy greasy git of a professor called SNIPE, oh wait, Snape. Even now Harry's temper rose at remembering the professor berating into an already broken Hermione. 'They are all the same,' Harry thought, comparing the Dursley's and Snape.

You mean he’s comparing child abuse to trying to keep irresponsible students from turning inert ingredients into volatile TNT. We can agree that his methods are terrible, but at least Snape is trying to avoid children dying.

He wanted to blast the guy into tomorrow, but he persevered for Hermione's sake and also as he got the next quest in the chain, which happens to be helping Hermione out of the situation as well;

Chain Quest 1/3 Complete!

Watch Out : Lookout for Hermione!

Rewards,

500xp

Chain Quest Alert!

Hermione's Hero (2/3)!

Helping Hand : Help Hermione!

Help Hermione in completing her potion from the spoiled one.

Rewards,

1500xp

Next Quest in the Chain Quest

Failure,

Low self-esteem for Hermione

Introvert Hermione

Suicidal Hermione

Why are these events even becoming quests? What couldn’t become a chain quest by the simple criteria of helping someone? Did the author just want to exploit the situations to increase the numbers? Did he need an excuse for Harry to act selflessly? Probably!

Harry was incredulous at the results of the failure of the quest and with the help of Gamer's mind and using his occlumency, he reigned in his mind and set out to help an already distressed Hermione. He didn't know why he hugged her, maybe he did, after all, he always wanted someone to hug him when he was distraught and lonely. After helping her remake the potion, he decided Hermione needs to sleep and to do it without any more problems. The only solution was Madam Pomfrey and the dreamless potion she has in her stock. And now they were here in the infirmary.

Yes. Here they are. Not because Hermione should be treated by a medical professional, but because Harry decided to exploit the school nurse for her drug stores. Because Harry knows best, always!

Breaking his reminiscing and looking back at the sleeping form of Hermione, he thought about the third and final quest in the chain, which felt very ominous and had her death as well as the death of some other students as failure;

Chain Quest 2/3 Complete!

Helping Hand : Help Hermione!

Rewards,

1500xp

Chain Quest Alert!

Hermione's Hero (3/3)!

Duck Hermione : Save Hermione!

Save Hermione from imminent death by being clobbered by a Troll!

Rewards,

4500xp

?

?

?

?

?

Failure,

Death to Hermione

Death to other students

Possible Death to you

I feared this would happen. Precognizant quest descriptions. It’s the most idiotic thing. “Hey, quest alert, stop the school shooter tomorrow, despite the fact that you couldn’t possibly know anything about it, unless this quest told you.” What a load.

Harry couldn't make heads or tails out of the quest, as he thought where the hell could Hermione meet up with a troll. The only troll he had ever met was the forest troll and it was in the Forest Of Surrey Dungeon, not in a school. Granted the school currently hosted a Cerberus, will it also have a troll as well? Harry mentally made plans and thought of possible reasons as he absent-mindedly started stroking Hermione's hair.

Could you stop pawing at the unconscious girl’s hair, you creep?

Doing so he used Observe on her; which also leveled up his Observe skill after so long,

[Observe]'s Level has risen!

Observe - Active - Lvl 20 (1/5)

By observing a target, one gets information about said target

Max HP, MP, status, emotion, abilities/traits and info

Hermione Granger - Hogwarts I year student - Lvl 10

HP : 500/500

MP : 340/340

STR : 12

VIT : 15

DEX : 12

END : 10

INT : 28

WIS : 15

CHR : 7

LUC : 6

KAR : 0

Hermione Granger is the only daughter of Dan and Emma Granger. She loves reading books and spending time learning new things. Due to her high intelligence, she couldn't find anyone to be her friend.

I guess she was too intelligent to figure out how.

She desperately hopes for a friend who can understand her. She is socially awkward, since having little to no interaction with anyone other than her parents.

Hermione is jealous of Harry for being smart but at the same time having friends. She wants Harry to be her Knight in shining armor. She hopes Harry will make her his friend. She misses her parents and feels lonely.

Hermione has Eidetic Memory. An ability to remember everything she sees.

Harry quickly understood what the ability/trait part in the newly leveled up Observe without searching for info. Also while he expected her high INT status, now he knew why. But the thing that surprised him was her feelings for him.

Please name me a girl that you have interacted with, who has NOT had feelings for you, Harry. It would be a statistical anomaly at this point. A surprise, if you will.

Even though he knew she was lonely, now getting the extent of it made Harry sad. Sad that he didn't try to be her friend much earlier. But being jealous at the same time wanting to be her knight also made no sense to him.

I could blame the complexity of human emotions, but I’m going to blame author incompetence.

Thinking about that made him remember about the new clingy personalities of his friends. Both Theia and Padma tried to sit as close to him as possible while Su played with his legs. Naturally, Harry knew why and he was enjoying it to the fullest, but at the same time dreading the eventual blowout. Speaking of blowouts, suddenly Harry had a goofy smile on his face as he thought about Theia, Padma, Su, and Penny, all in scantily clad outfits on his bed, 'Hehe that would be awesome.'

Speaking of dumb, horny idiots, could you do this anywhere else than next to the bedridden girl?

Harry was stopped from further erotic thoughts by the sudden purring of Hermione, 'Did she just purr?' If you think Harry thought it to be cute, think again, 'You naughty girl,' Harry thought, as this of course brought another set of erotic thoughts, which Harry struggled to keep in check. 'Damn hormones, if this goes on any longer, I might just blow up,' he thought as he wiped a sweat drop from his brow and a nosebleed from his nose.

Image

Ha-ha, he’s sexualizing the unconscious reflexes of a sleeping child, ha-ha. What the hell is wrong with you?!

Hermione woke up to the sound of people talking around her, which was unusual for her. Slowly, opening her eyes she was met with the sight of Harry and his friends. It took a while for her brain to reboot and start remembering all that happened. Mentally fatigued she may have been, but her eidetic memory helped her remember everything. As she looked up from her internal musings, she saw that everyone was looking at her. She suddenly felt awkward and didn't know how to respond.

Maybe ask them who allowed students to squat in the infirmary?

Seeing Hermione struggle, Harry leaned closer, his face mere inches away from Hermione's, which promptly brought a blush on her face. His light breaths caressed her face as Harry said gently, "How about 'I am fine now, thank you', for a start? Hm, then we can introduce ourselves to our new friend. What do you say?"

Image

All emotions that swelled in her ever since she started her Hogwarts life broke loose as she sobbed clinging to Harry, saying 'Thank you' over and over again. Harry hugged her close as he said, "It'll be fine, you are not alone anymore." While this was happening, Harry missed the jealous looks Hermione got from Theia, Padma, and Su. Hey, they wanted to hug him as well you know.

The only thing that’s stopping them is you, author. In fact, having them display their affection would be better than simply being informed about it, whenever Harry deigns to look at their stats.

And so another member was added to Harry's budding group of girls, which Harry refused to term as a Harem, well not yet at least, as the girls quickly put away their jealousy of Hermione hugging Harry and got along with her by sharing their girl stuff. 'I guess girls can get along pretty fast over their own gossip and stuff, kind of like how men do it over drinks,' Harry thought, watching the bonding of his friends.

I don’t know which is more pitiful. The author’s continued dancing around the blatant purpose of every female creature in this story, or the fact that he doesn’t understand forming friendships, since he has to describe it in ways that lie both beyond his gender and possible drinking age.

Harry was currently sitting in the Great Hall, trying to enjoy the Halloween just as everyone else was while waiting for his friends. They said something about having girl time or something like that, resulting in him waiting in the hall and be slightly irritated by all the happiness around him. He couldn't share their joy, as for everyone else it was a celebration of having the Dark Lord gone, but for him, it was the day he lost his family.

Yes, because festivities involving pumpkins and candy, celebrated by both Muggles and the Wizarding World has nothing to do with age-old traditions. Not everything is about you, Captain Buzzkill!

Instead of going into brooding, Harry thought back to the days after Hermione became the new member of his group, which now also included Penny as well. The girls seemed to be really close to each other now, especially Theia and Hermione. Before Hermione came, she always tagged along with Padma and Su, who were sort of best friends already. Having Hermione had made Theia have a best girl bud of her own. Thinking about girls, brought him to think about the two incredible encounters, one of sadness and one of pleasure, he had from his new hobby of night crawling around Hogwarts.

Another spontaneously manifesting interest of his, it would seem. This involves breaking curfew, risking house point deductions, and not sleeping. How does he have the time or motivation for this, other than the author dangling yet another power and pussy shaped carrot in front of his face?

Harry used his Sneaking skill and Shadows Embrace for exploring the castle at night without being caught. He had stumbled upon many secret pathways, fooling around couples, and of course, the prank setting terror twins during these adventures. He also found a way out of Hogwarts by the use of a secret passageway, which was accessible from the humpbacked witch's statue using the keyword 'Dissindium'. It led to the local magical village of Hogsmeade. He found it when some seventh-year students were using it to get fire whiskey. But these things can't even compare to the two, each one on the complete opposite end of the spectrum of feelings encounters he had.

Gee wiz, what contrivances will happen to the benefit of Harry – and Harry only – this time?

It was only an hour or two after curfew, Harry had been strolling the corridors of the infamous dungeons, trying to find the famous Hogwarts kitchen and the caretaker's room, both of which he had plans for. But instead of finding them, he found a senior Slytherin prefect trying to force himself on two girls.

Oh boy, the age-old heroic act of defending womanly virtue, which somehow makes the savior worthy of what their foe attempted to take. Classic.

Naturally, Harry got a quest out of it;

A quest has been created!

Quest Alert!

The Dark Knight : Sneaky Hero!

Defend and save the girls from being molested!

Rewards,

250xp

?

?

Failure,

Are you even thinking it?

I think I’m the only one thinking at all! What currently is happening is that Harry comes across people in distress, and instead of rushing to their aid he spends time reviewing a quest screen. What should be a split second decision becomes a paragraph telling the protagonist what to do and why it will benefit him. BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE IT NOT BENEFIT HIM!

Harry quickly took out the shovel he still had in his inventory from that time he went treasure hunting, and used Fulmen Curre to add high-speed momentum to his hit as he whacked the guy on the side of his head, causing the molester to be thrown off his feet and hit the walls, promptly losing his consciousness by the double hit. A quick look at the blue screen above his head told him who it was, Marcus Flint the sixth year Slytherin prefect. Harry turned towards the two cowering girls who seem to be in a state of relapse shock.

They also seem to be in a state of not having their wands, which they, students of a magical school, could use to defend themselves with while they are out breaking curfew. Did Flint even have a wand, or was he planning on one girl just minding her turn while he was raping the first?

Harry put the shovel away in his inventory, and used Observe on what appeared to be twins;

Hestia/Flora Carrow - Hogwarts II year students - Lvl 12

HP : 520/520

MP : 360/360

STR : 12

VIT : 16

DEX : 12

END : 16

INT : 20

WIS : 13

CHR : 4

LUC : 5

KAR : 0

Hestia/Flora Carrow is one of the twin daughters from the incest relation of Amycus and Alecto Carrow. Their parents hate them for being born to them, as they put the reason of people humiliating them and how they know of their relationship as their children's fault. She along with her sister is being physically abused. Her parents haven't killed both her and her sister due to the strict law against harming children in the magical world. She is afraid to go to anyone for help as she fears they will be used for other purposes like their parents says they will do when they are 17. Her only confident and lover is her sister. She hates her parents and wants them to die.

She is in a state of shock, due to her memories of abuse at the hands of her parents.

She hasn't thought anything about Harry.

Really?! Underage, incestuous, products of incest, twin girls from ANOTHER abusive home?! I’m not surprised given the author’s rising kinky streak, I’m wondering why already now? This parade of pussy preparation has no breaks! Harry already has so many girls ready to jump him, and yet it’s only the first year of Hogwarts. What’s going to happen next year; orgy in the girls’ Quidditch locker room? If these two girls don’t fall into the harem right away, then fine, but the author is in serious need of pacing himself.

Harry was at a loss, he felt angry, sad and even a slight madness to go snuff the life out of their parents right that moment. The description felt very close to his life at Dursley's, which felt like a walk in the park compared to theirs as unlike his, their life was a true hell on earth. At least he had the relief of having loving parents even though they were dead, but the twins are being abused by their own parents. Harry had to fight down the bile that rose in him, thinking of what their parents might do to them when they grew older.

Right, I almost didn’t notice. You’re telling me that their parents haven’t killed them, because there are strict laws against harming children in the wizarding world. Because regular laws against murder apparently wasn’t enough. Despite these laws, their parents still physically abuse them, but they’re holding off on the sexual abuse until they turn seventeen. Probably because of another age discriminatory law they’ll selectively follow; I don’t care. It all becomes meaningless when you remember Harry has sex statistics in his skill tree.

Looking at his hands, he realized that he was shaking as well.

Going through the occlumency lessons and the breathing techniques, he calmed himself down. Then he thought about how to handle the situation. Looking at their shivering form, he could only do the one thing that an impulse brought out in him. He hugged them, both at the same time and held them close until their shivering stopped.

I hope the 57 STR demigod realize that mortals need to breathe.

After they all got control of their emotions, Harry helped the two Slytherin girls up.

Looking at them now he could notice signs of abuse from their body language and their fully covered dress. Even though their faces were marred by desperation and resignation, they still held a beauty of their own. Both had blonde hair, which seems to be less taken care of and tousled and their light blue eyes seemed to be frozen in despair and sadness. Their bodies were covered in thick robes, but Harry had felt those thin bodies under them when he hugged them. Harry wondered if he looked like that as well, back when he was still under the thumb of the Dursley's.

Like an empty, soulless husk bereft of joy and lacking both care and respect? That’s most fanfics for you.

They all stood awkwardly there, staring at each other or in the case of the twins at the floor and at the prone form of Flint. Seeing no other solution, Harry offered to escort them back to their dorms. When they reached the Slytherin common room entrance, Harry told them that they would talk about it later, when they were ready. After that Harry went straight to the unconscious Flint to scare him and thus avoid such a situation from happening again.

Getting a teacher or other adult involved? Don’t be ridiculous! Harry wouldn’t want to share the xp.

Reaching where Flint was, he first used Shadow's Embrace to hide and then used his illusion ability to create the form of Snape. Harry then send a lightning bolt to zap the guy awake, which had the satisfying result of burning him a little as well as waking him up.

Opening his eyes, Flint was met with the black cold eyes of his Head of House.

"What do you think you were doing, Mr. Flint," Harry said in Snape's low drawl.

Bold of you to pretend the rapist strawman is capable of thinking.

Flint who was already out of it due to being hit in the head and being found out by his Head of House, didn't recognize the difference in the sound of his Head of House.

"I wa-s j-us-t ..." Flint stuttered. "Enough with the pathetic groveling, I will remind you this only once. Your father may be Lucius's friend, but he won't be able to heal you of any unwanted potion accidents that might occur when you are in my class. Do so again or even try to think of such a thing, Mr. Flint, and you will find out why your father respects and is afraid of me."

Correct me if I’m wrong, but in what way outside of outright mind reading would Harry be able to know these things, let alone even assume that Snape, Malfoy, and Flint are connected? What sort of dialogue tree are you having your protagonist pick from, author?

With that, Harry sent another bolt which caused Flint to close his eyes at the sudden brightness, which helped in hiding Harry's presence as well, and to yell in pain.

"May this be a reminder to you when you think of something like this again," Harry sent another bolt, making Flint unconscious again. As soon as Flint crumpled down again, his quest success window popped up;

Quest Complete!

The Dark Knight : Sneaky Hero!

Rewards,

250xp

Hidden Objectives Completed :

250xp bonus for defeating the molester without letting him see you!

250xp bonus for stopping the molester from doing further unsavory things!

How nice that Harry didn’t just kill Flint at the behest of his self-aggrandizing hallucinations in order to reap more benefits.

------------------------

You guessed it! Chapter is too long. Continuing in the next post.

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StabbyKobold
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Re: Harry Potter : Potter Verse REDUX

Post by StabbyKobold » Fri Jan 10, 2020 2:24 pm

And we're continuing the stupid.

------------------------

Satisfied he won't be trying something like that again, Harry went back to his dorm with the thoughts of who else had such a shitty life as them and how he could help them. He also got a new skill out of it;

New Skill Created!

Mimicking - Active - Lvl 1 (2/5)

The ability to mimic or alter your voice

(Luc + 2) % chance of success in mimicking

Get back to me with your percentile chances when Harry actually fails at doing something.

While this was a depressing encounter, the one he had a week before from Halloween was of pure pleasure and which he hoped will happen in the future as well. Harry was lurking around this time to get into the restricted section of the library to satisfy his curiosity.

Fuck the rules and fuck getting permission. Harry will not be denied even the pettiest of whimsical desires.

The library was open, which made his entrance all the easier. As Harry crept towards the restricted section, he was suddenly attracted by the sounds of a women moaning from deep inside one of the many big aisles of books. He could see the faint light towards the deeper part of the library as well when he looked around. His curiosity, and the new quest that appeared made Harry check it out;

A quest has been created!

Quest Alert!

Naughty Librarian Tamer : Tame that bookworm!

Find out the dark secret of the librarian by catching her red handed.

Rewards,

500xp

?

?

Failure,

A lost Chance

An unsatisfied Hard - On

Oh joy, another sex quest akin to the Polkiss peepshow. At least the penalty isn’t him senselessly becoming a prude this time. In fact, it’s almost laughably benign, when he could face any kind of reprimand or bad reputation as a consequence.

As Harry crept through the shadows in the library using his skills, he came closer to the light source and the moaning got louder for him. As he craned his neck around the corner of the bookshelf close to the source of his interest, he was met with a sight that made him instantly drool as well as get a hard-on.

In front of him was Madam Irma Pince, the Hogwarts librarian, moaning softly as she pleasured herself with her fingers in her wet snatch, an open book, and two candlesticks, on a table. She alternated between the candlesticks more or less screwing her and her fingers pinching and stroking her pussy.

Image

At the risk of not only her job and reputation, against all forms of ethics and sensibility, the librarian is currently masturbating in the middle of the school library, in a section she is specifically tasked with keeping unintended visitors out of. The only reason she is doing this, is then otherwise Harry wouldn’t be able to stumble across her. That’s as far as the author could possibly argue this.

Irma Pince was a 29-year-old witch with soft brown hair and light brown eyes, she had C-D cup breast with perky hard pink nipples and a dark pink areola, which seemed darker and glistening in the soft candlelight. She had only her robes on, which was open and hanging off her shoulders, providing Harry with a full-on nude show. She moaned and her breath hitched to her finger fucking, which made Harry all the more aroused.

Watching the kinky librarian pleasuring herself, an idea formed as he looked around spotting her undergarments and other clothes laying on the floor. Under the shadows, Harry snuck behind her, picking up her bra, which was partially see-through. The librarian was oblivious to her surroundings as she continued to plow her wet pussy. Harry getting behind her, used her bra to blindfold her, making it so that she could still see a silhouette, but nothing more than that.

That sounds like the world’s most uncomfortable blindfold. Is her cup-size big enough to cover her entire face, or is the author just not aware of how a bra works? Oh well, I guess it’s just convenient that, on top of that somehow working, the masks of the lace fabric was just narrow enough to be vision impairing. And that Harry knew this, somehow, for some reason. Can I keep stressing this contrivance point further? I think I can, but it feels like my brain is screaming for help.

Irma quickly panicked as she tried to break free, but Harry held her arms strongly. He brought his face close to her ears and said activating his mimicking skill, to alter his voice, "My what a naughty librarian you are Irma. Who would have thought the hawk-like prude that berated all and any in her library about everything would be so kinky in private? And to think you would use the library for your naughty pleasure, what would others say?"

Irma shuddered as panic rose in her, "Please don't..."

That certainly is what I’m saying right now. Not only is Harry still spouting nonsense about things we’ve been neither shown nor told about, I’m also wondering exactly what karma score Harry is aiming for.

"Don't worry, I can help you with that little wet problem you have down there IF you can solve mine," Harry said nipping at her ear lightly. Irma moaned a little at it, after a moment she nodded saying, "If you promise to keep it a secret, then I will."

Coercion of sexual favors through blackmail. Our hero, everybody!

"Good girl, now then go on, let's see what you can do with a real dick," Harry said as he released her hands and opened his flyer to let his rock hard 8-inch cock out. Irma softly grabbed his cock, making both Harry moan in pleasure, and Irma to moan in anticipation. The thought of being in such an affair with a student in her sacred library, made Irma drench the table with her overflowing snatch.

Irma wrapped her lips around Harry's cock and gave it a couple of sucks. She pulled back and swirled her tongue around its tip. With a wanton lust, Irma kept licking the head, all the way down to the base of his cock.

"Fuck, that feels good," Harry groaned.

This might as well be a porn movie scene transcribed into writing. But never mind that, how about the fact that the inexperienced child has no reservations of engaging in sex, or that the adult woman doesn’t consider it a problem despite the harsh laws against harming children?

Irma pushed her mouth all the way down onto Harry's cock. She took him into her throat and gave a loud passionate suck. Her mouth worked him over, fondling Harry's balls when she sucked him and hard.

"Damn, woman, are you trying to drain me?" Harry asked pleasure coursing through his sound.

Irma hummed in agreement, with his cock still in mouth, making Harry moan even louder. She quickly became addicted to Harry's scent as she slobbered and sucked on Harry's knob. She went down on his manhood, enjoying the taste of his precum. Irma squeezed his balls and was about ready to enjoy the drink coming from the young student, who has made her submit in a way that she always fantasized about.

How fortunate that the first woman Harry coerced into sex has a submissive streak – what are the odds?!

"Damn, I am going to blow in your mouth," Harry said.

Irma kept working her hands and mouth around Harry. She needed every single drop of his seed. Her hard and hot sucks rewarded her with a small taste, but now she wanted more, she lusted for more.

Harry grunted and fired the warm, hot seeds from his balls. He shot his sticky, juicy contents all the way down Irma's throat. Irma tilted her head, sucking on him while squeezing and milking his balls. She made him feel warmth and pleasure when he fired down her throat.

"Damn, you give a blow-job like a pro." Harry breathed in pleasure.

One blowjob and he’s suddenly the judge of oral sex quality. Pardon me for questioning his credibility.

Irma approved by slowing slurping his cock and swallowing his load. Then she let out his cock with a loud pop. She got up and turned around, bending down, with her pussy and ass in the air, on the table. Seeing the hot glistening wet snatch of Irma, Harry wanted nothing more than to slam his cock inside her. But he persevered as he wanted his first time to be more than a late night fuck.

And I want the story’s protagonist to be more than a shallow sociopath only meant for the author’s vicarious wish fulfillment and sexual fantasies. I never seem to get what I want, though. How fortunate for Harry that it’s always the opposite for him.

"I am sorry Irma, I'm not going to fuck you. Maybe someday, so I will give the next best thing." Harry said as he plunged his two fingers inside her making her arch her back and moan aloud. Harry continued fingering her until she reached her high, then abruptly stopped withholding her from reaching orgasm.

"Now, now let me give you an orgasm that you will never forget," Harry said as he leaned down, his face mere inches away from her hot snatch. Harry gave a soft breath to her pussy, causing Irma to shudder in pleasure. Harry quickly plunged his tongue into her pussy, moving and turning in such a way close to drilling a hole in her pussy. Harry lapped up the sweet nectar she poured out of her pussy with wanton abandon. Just when Harry felt she was reaching her orgasm, he stopped again

Harry read a couple of porn magazines and was a voyeur one time, so of course he’s a twelve-year-old sex machine dominating grown women with flawless skill. Can we move on? Lest we forget, Harry is at the Halloween Feast remembering all of these things.

Standing up, he turned her around, then started to suck on her diamond hard nipples, while he used his one hand to finger her and the other to squeeze the remaining breast. Harry teased and tweaked her hard nubs as he continued sucking her breast, making her arch her back, wanting Harry to have more of her. Irma laced her hands through his hair and pressed them down on her bountiful and sensitive breasts as she moaned louder and louder.

Harry then slowly started to make his way down to her pussy, kissing her breast, her smooth stomach on the way. Harry plunged back again, this time he finding her G-spot, causing Irma to buck like his tongue is electric. Harry prodded it, sucked on it, all the while changing the pressure listening to her sweet moans rise in volume and tempo.

With the amount of students that break curfew on a nightly basis, how hasn’t half the school walked in on them by now?

Harry loved the way her snatch seemed to be stretch and squeeze his probing tongue, like it's trying to pull him in, begging for more as her moans indicated. Irma reached her limit as he gripped Harry's hair tightly and pressed him in further, while her thighs clutched his face. Harry pinched his lips around the sensitive button, sucking hard to draw it into his mouth, and suddenly started to flick the tip of his tongue rapidly across it, as he subconsciously used his parseltongue.

He’s being constricted and forced head first into a small, wet cavity. Makes sense he’d connect it with snakes, I suppose. I prefer it to the author having an un-birthing fetish.

Irma seized up as she bucked wildly, her back arching, she let out a loud yell to the heavens as she drenched Harry in her love juice. Harry slurped up the sweet nectar up with his tongue. Finally, she stopped and let go of Harry's face.

Harry stood up to look at his handiwork, as he saw the moaning twitching form of the librarian. Harry cleaned himself up and straightened his dress. Looking at the pleasure induced librarian, he bent down to give her a long languid wet and arousing kiss. Then he nipped her ear, saying "That was amazing and quite memorable. Who knows maybe we will get a chance to go all the way," making her moan in response. With that Harry left her as he concentrated on the several blue boxes in front of him.

How nice of them to wait until after so as to not ruin the moment. Everything is just so fucking convenient, isn’t it?

New Skill Created!

Blackmailing - Active - Lvl 1 (3/5)

The ability to blackmail people and get your way with them

(Persuasion + Socializing + LUC + 1) % chance of success

The story even acknowledges that he blackmailed her, fucking hell!

[Sex]'s level has risen!

Sex -Active/Passive - Lvl 9 (2/5)

The ability to do various sexual actions and make your partner a mewling mess

Your libido - Half an hour for every 4 VIT

8% towards orgasm of partner

10% chance of partner wanting another go with you

[Foreplay]'s level has risen!

Foreplay - Active - Lvl 3 (4/5)

The ability to arouse your partner before sex.

15% towards the orgasm of partner

[Oral Sex]'s level has risen!

Oral sex Lvl 12 (1/5)

The ability to please a woman using mouth

(30 + 25)% chance of orgasm

(16 + 25)% chance of finding G-Spot

[Kissing]'s level has risen!

Kissing - Active - Lvl 8 (1/5)

It is what it is. The higher level you are the better kisser you are. Remember practice makes perfect.

Your level of kissing leaves the person in a pleasant mood for an hour.

Set up a kissing booth then, why don’t you? Actually, why don’t you use all these phenomenal skills for something – anything – instead of meandering aimlessly through the plot, pretending the plot threads landing in your lap weren’t deliberately guided there?

Quest Complete!

Naughty Librarian Tamer : Tame that bookworm!

Rewards,

500xp

Pleasure for a night!

Possible future encounter!

Sexual Encounter Complete!

Night time with the librarian 1000xp

Achievements Unlocked!

Chivalrous 200xp (Give more orgasms than you receive)

Orator 500xp (Give oral sex for the first time)

Nimble Fingers 100xp (Finger a girl)

Wonders of the Mouth 100xp (Receive your first blowjob)

Extra xp and back-pats for completing arbitrary objectives the author could exploit to further pile reward onto his avatar. The numbers just keep climbing and they never stop.

Harry was surprised and overjoyed at all the XP and achievements he received. This was the first time he saw something like this, looking through the Sexual Encounter and Achievement list, Harry came to the realization that there was more to the list than what he got so far. Which means more XP from doing similar things, but the problem was he didn't know what all the remaining ones are. Closing the messages, Harry walked back to his dorm with a light hum and happy smile on his face as he wished for another encounter with the busty librarian.

Harry fought down his hormones as his little Harry started to stand up in attention. Eventually, he calmed it down and went about trying to eat something as the feeling of sadness of Halloween hit him once again. He was lightly sipping on his pumpkin juice when the stuttering DADA professor came running through the main doors like a man possessed;

That line was almost funny. I wonder what better writer possessed the author and controlled him in order to write it.

"Troll, Troll in the dungeon. Thought you ought to know", he promptly fainted saying his piece.

While Harry noted the two strange things the professor did, loss of his stuttering and the fact he fainted face forward, his Gamer's Mind quickly kicked up the memory of his last quest in Hermione's chain quest he received. "Troll, shit", Harry ran straight out of the Hall towards the girl's bathroom on the second floor, where his friends told him they were going, while the professors calmed the rest of the students down and ordered them to their dorms. He cursed his stupid luck on Halloween as he ran through the corridors to his destination.

I know it was thirty-five paragraphs and six game menus ago, but I’m pretty sure Harry dismissively mentioned them having “girl time”, which doesn’t at all indicate their location. This was easily fixable, but the author still just had Harry be omniscient to the plot.

Harry heard the screams of the girls as he neared the bathroom. Running at full speed he arrived at the girl's bathroom and nearly slammed into the partly opened door, which revealed a massive troll much bigger than the one he faced before, wielding a wooden club and smashing the nearby sink with each swing. Looking towards where the screams were coming from he saw his friends at the opposite end of the room, being protected by Penny. He knew he couldn't get them out using his Fulmen Curre as it will leave someone behind to get clobbered by the troll.

The reason he can’t move at the speed of light and drag them out of there, is that he can’t move all of them at once? Fuck it, just get to your white knighting and get it over with.

Seeing that the troll was inching closer to the troll, Harry sent a Fireball at the troll, which caused it to drop its club. The troll turned towards Harry and charged towards him like a bull. Harry used his Fulmen Curre to get out of the way and also to get in between the troll and the girls. The troll crashed into the wall, cracking it a little, but shook his head and got up again looking more irritated.

Harry used spell after spell, even his game magic skills against the troll only for it to have no effect other than act as a mild deterrent to its bull charge.

He’s basically caught in a cut-scene in order to create tension. It would explain why Harry didn’t use Observe in order to know its xp count and weaknesses.

Trying to swat Harry, who posed more threat, it flayed its hands around, one of which caught Harry in the chest, throwing him off his feet to land on the ground after hitting the wall with a loud crunch. The girls screamed Harry's name as the troll let out a loud yell of victory.

Harry knew he had little MP left as well as HP, he coughed up some blood as he got up to face the troll again. He wanted to use the banishing spell he had learned two days ago from Penny but knew he didn't have enough MP left.

I have very few fucks to give left, especially when you just pull retcon establishment of knowing specific spells out of your ass.

Harry moved to stand between the girls and troll again as the troll turned towards the girls and charged towards them.

Frustrated and angry, Harry tried to put all his MP, what little he had on banishing the broken tiles and sinks into the charging troll. Harry could only banish some small tiles, as he felt the last of his MP reach zero. Suddenly, Harry was startled as he was overflowed with MP. He ignored the new messages that popped up as he used it and his anger to fuel his banishing. Harry let out a loud roar as he pushed everything in sight against the troll. Harry felt like he was being burned from the inside, but kept on going as he pinned the troll like a pincushion.

Image

Motherfucker, it’s not enough that he’s got power out the ass and a million skills, he has to have some untapped, overpowered insta-win ability too?!

Harry stopped his onslaught hearing his girls yelling, he could feel the burns on his hands and body as well on his entire nerves. He felt numb, blood poured out of his mouth as he tried to speak to the girls, only to fall down due to exhaustion and the overuse of mana. Penny caught him before he fell down and laid him down on her lap gently, pouring a blood replenishing potion in his mouth.

Which she just so CONVENIENTLY had?! Such utter contrivance! What sheer unnecessary fix of a suddenly appearing problem! I am going fucking insane here!!

Harry could feel his blood reproducing but still felt parched and burned and numb. Harry slowly faded out of consciousness to the calls of the girls yelling his name and to the thought of how stupid he was.

“I saved a bunch of helpless girls, who didn’t bother even raising their wands in their own defense, but I guess I’m the dumbass.”

Two Days Later

Harry opened his eyes groggily, raising his hands trying to block out the blinding light shining down on him. Harry felt like a newborn child as his every movement caused him to shudder and groan, it seemed like his body became extra sensitive as he could feel even the rubbing of skin to the clothing that he was wearing. His slowly clearing vision made him aware that his hands were bandaged. Looking around, he found Madam Pomfrey waving her wand over him. It was then he realized that he was in the hospital wing.

And the reason he didn’t get healed from sleeping in a bed is what?! I AM FUCKING WAITING!!

Harry tried to remember what happened, then his memory of the events started flowing into his head, starting from the DADA's proclamation of troll to him making the troll a pincushion.

"Mr. Potter, you're in the hospital wing, currently undergoing treatment for the excessive magic you performed a couple of nights ago," the healer, Madam Poppy Pomfrey explained while casting various unknown spells.

"What about the girls?" Harry said in a scratchy tone, as he felt his throat parched.

They’re all he can think about, after all.

"Here drink this and the water," Poppy said handing him a vile smelling potion, which he downed without complaint, followed by the water. He immediately felt the potion taking effect as he sighed in relief.

"Now, as for your friends, they only had a case of minor magical overcharge due to being in a close proximity to you and some minor bruises, which are all healed. They will have a slightly increased magical core now," she said, which made Harry nod in relief.

You have to be fucking kidding me with this! Harry overexerts and harms himself by seemingly burning through his magic to kill the troll, and not only is he on the road to recovery, his future fuck-toys were BLESSED by standing too close to him; like it was some sort of magical, reverse nuclear meltdown! All aboard the fucking crazy train, it derailed a long time ago and crashed sooner than that!

"You, however, are not off the hook. When they brought you in, you had a cracked rib, which punctured your lungs, luckily the girls provided you with a blood replenisher which helped your blood loss and helped me in healing it quickly. But the major injury was the magical burn you received when you tried to use magic above what your body could handle. As you can see it burned your hand completely, there were severe burns on your backside as well as the front, which has since been almost all healed by applying the burn salve."

Consequences for rash actions? What are those?!

Poppy took a breath and cast couple more spells, then turned to him and continued, "It seems your magical core has increased as well, as such, it is still not completely stable yet. So no magic use for you for at least four days. You will take bed rest for today as well, and tomorrow we will take the bandage on your hands off. Your friends have been helping with applying the salve on your body, so they will do it for the remaining four days as well."

Poppy rose saying, "Now rest, I will bring some food for you."

I would hope he chokes on it, but then he’d just learn how not to need air.

Harry nodded along and closed his eyes as Poppy went to fetch him some food. After hearing that his friends were alright, Harry only partly listened to the healer as he started a mental simulation of the entire encounter in his mind, his occlumency helping him in that regard. Through each and every action that he took in the simulation Harry groaned at his own stupidity. Through it all Harry felt ashamed as he went through the events again.

He saved his friends, but he’s embarrassed that he, what, didn’t look good while doing it? Fuck off! Everyone was literally better off for it, you insufferable moron!

After remembering it all again, the one emotion Harry felt the most was humility. He was humbled by the fact that he was nowhere near ready for anything, any sort of challenges he would have to face in the future. He could see the arrogance and recklessness in his action, which made him realize all the things he had forgotten as he received new things and recognition, and the fact that he took them too much for granted.

Boo-fucking-hoo, this comes too little, too late, and entirely unearned.

Just by thinking over the encounter, Harry could see many ways in which he could have handled the troll without putting the girls in danger. He could have attracted the attention of troll onto himself and then lead it outside the bathroom to the corridor, which had more room and no girls to protect. This and many more plans went through his head, as he also remembered how easily he took down the forest troll back in the dungeon.

Kind of makes you wonder what kind of cut-scene incompetence the author forced upon him in order to achieve a sum total positive outcome yet still have Harry whine about it.

Thinking about it, Harry was ashamed that he forgot the basis of his power, that which helped him get here. He hasn't grinded for a level up or improving the level of his skill ever since he learned about the magical world and his place in it. Harry concluded that without him being powerful enough to handle the things that are thrown his way, he will never achieve his goal of rebuilding his family.

He almost didn’t stop a troll, which was neither his job nor duty, so obviously he won’t be able to rebuild his family’s estate. I wish you had more levels in logic, Harry.

Harry closed his bandaged fist tightly, despite the pain, as he resolved himself to do better and to never forget this feeling of humility.

Poppy arrived with his food and some potions for him to take and left him to eat. Harry slowly started to eat as his hands, while movable, were still sore and sensitive. Thankfully, Poppy provided him porridge and a spoon, so he had little problem in eating his meal.

Harry, while eating, directed his concentration to the many blue screens in front of him. He started to go through them one by one;

Chain Quest 3/3 Complete!

Duck Hermione : Save Hermione!

Rewards,

4500xp

Life bond with Hermione Granger!

Life bond with Cassiopeia Malfoy!

Life bond with Padma Patil!

Life bond with Su Li!

Life bond with Penelope Clearwater!

Because why even pretend they have any other purpose in life than having it literally be bound to the author avatar?

Mountain Troll Defeated!

6000xp

You have leveled up by 1!

you have gained +1 VIT, +1 INT, +2 DEX and +4 END!

Due to mana overflow, you have gained a negative status!

New Status Added!

Mana Burn (Temporary) : Can't use mana for a period of time (Time remaining - 4 days)

By channeling Hogwarts magical force recklessly through your body, you have gained two new perks!

New Perk Added!

Life Giver : +3 to VIT and END. Increased muscle growth. Increased sexual stamina and drive. 100% chance of erection for every sexual encounter and in having morning wood.

New Perk Added!

Overcharged : MP gain per level and per 10 INT have an increased +20 bonus from now on. Additional +20 for MP. Provides status buff of +2 to all status and +30 to HP and MP for party members and those bonded to you.

Temporary detriment in exchange for overwhelming and permanent benefits. Oh wait, no I forgot, he also gained humility. Which is the fixing of a character flaw the author didn’t even acknowledge that Harry had, but simply discarded in exchange for MORE power endowment and sexual prowess. I am as close to hating this story as much as I have ever hated any piece of fiction.

Harry closed them all and opened his status menu, only to groan out loud;

Name : Harry James Potter

Race : Wizard

Title : Boy-Who-Lived

Monster Slayer

Level : 17

Exp : 3,340/18,000

HP : 950/950 + 20% = 1140/1140

HP regen : 20% (1080) = 216 HP/min

MP : 800/800 + 20 = 820/820

MP regen : 20% (820) = 164 MP/min

STR : 38 + (50%) = 57

VIT : 34 (+3) = 37

DEX : 35

END : 29 (+3) = 32

INT : 36 + (20%) = 43.2

WIS : 30

CHR : 12 (+5) = 17

LUC : 50

KAR : 1

Status Points : 31

Maybe if Harry had been more willing to spend his surplus of stat points, he wouldn’t have a reason for whining.

Status : Unbound [Permanent] MP back to 100%, First Year Student +1 VIT, +1 INT per level up,

Mana Burn [Temporary] Can't use mana for a period of time (Time remaining - 4 days)

Money : 5556 £/ 213,023ᶃ 12ᶊ 8ᶄ

Harry Potter is the son of Lily Potter nee Evans and James Charlus Potter. His family history and past are unknown to him as his parents died when he was just a baby. Harry Potter is a Wizard and he wants to make his parents proud by being the best.

Pardon me? His family history and past are still unknown? He should know at least part of that by now.

Harry lamented at his mana burn status and the inability to use his magic, but what caught his attention most was the new perk 'Overcharged' as it also affected those around him. This has never happened before. Sure Nimuae received a level up for two of his own level ups but that never affected her status or other things. Harry came to the conclusion that his power, while it mainly affected him, could also cause changes in those around him just like in an RPG game.

You really had to think hard about that one?

Also, the fact that the girls were now life bonded with him made him a little cautious as well as a little ecstatic, as he didn't know how they will react or even if they know about it at all. Harry had mixed feelings about his other new perk, namely 'Life Giver'. While increased muscle growth and additional status points in VIT and END were welcome, he didn't know how to react to the rest of its effects. He had an increased sexual drive, so having it 100% seemed to make no difference in hindsight. Which of course made Harry worry what or how it will come to affect him in the coming days.

Harry has a constant hard-on, the author is a horny idiot, and he has five girls signed up to rub down his self-insert with medical salve. How do you think it’s going to go?!

After he had a meal, he was visited by his Head of House to say that everything was fine and to award him 25 points for saving his friends. The professor told him they already got the details from the girls and for him to take a rest and not to worry about classes as Harry was already ahead in them. After the tiny professor left, Harry relaxed a bit and decided to nap as he still felt sore.

Around noon, he was woken by Poppy to take lunch and his potions. After finishing the lunch, he was visited first by Penny who hugged him the moment she saw him. Harry hugged back even though he was sensitive.

No pain, no female body contact.

She then proceeded to describe what happened after he fainted. She told him how he almost got killed trying to use that much magic, then how the professors arrived and took him to the hospital wing, how headmaster Dumbledore helped Poppy in diagnosing him.

You would think that if using too much magic can kill you, maybe the school should teach their students about that. On day one, first lesson – don’t fucking do that, you little brats. Oh, who am I kidding, no one else is even going to attempt it in this story.

Then she told him that everyone in school already knows about almost everything that happened. After that, they continued some small talk and how the rest of the girls are waiting to see him.

It was only when she asked him to remove the hospital gown that he remembered Poppy saying about how the girls put the salve for burns on his body. Harry was only reserved for a moment as he threw caution to the wind and removed his gown so that Penny can apply the salve. His lower body was covered in a sheet so Harry was cool until she started to put the salve with her bare hands.

Mind telling me why she isn’t in class and is substituting for the school nurse in the first place? Poppy Pomfrey not giving the author an erection, I bet.

Instantly Harry's new perk 'perked' up, which made him groan at the pun, as little Harry started to come out and say hello. Penny was oblivious to Harry's predicament as she was doing his back. Harry tried his occlumency and breathing technique, only to fail in calming it down.

While this was going on, Penny was taking her time in admiring Harry's strong backside. She and all the rest of the girls already realized that they were bonded to Harry and were quite happy with it.

Of course they are. The author is incapable of having it any other way.

They didn't know if it was due to the magic in the bond, but seeing Harry unconscious due to saving them only gave them all the more reason to be happy with it. Penny remembered the first time they asked Poppy in helping to care for Harry in any way they could. It was embarrassing as well as arousing for all the girls when they were assigned to putting the burn salve on Harry.

Harry had an excuse for being a horny idiot, author. It was videogame puberty brought on by slaying an ogre. What excuse do you have for these five mostly preteen girls?

Penny still had a bright blush whenever she thought about their first time doing it. The girls all wanted to do it together the first time, so as to avoid any mistakes or problems. Harry only had a hospital gown, which they removed for applying the salve. They accidentally removed it in such a way that Harry was laid in front of them in all his naked glory. Hermione 'eeped' the loudest among them. Penny was the one who successfully covered his lower region with the bed sheet, while the others covered their eyes.

Implying that Poppy let them do this without supervision. Five schoolgirls alone with a nude and unconscious boy. There’s another tabloid headline joke in here, and it’s the title of the author’s fantasy.

But the embarrassment only continued as they started applying the salve. Penny did the back with the help of Su as the rest did his front. Each girl got so engrossed in touching and caressing Harry's strong body that they missed Harry's huge boner. It was Theia who found it first as her hand brushed the enlarged organ while she was rubbing the salve on Harry's abs. Again an awkward moment fell upon them until Su pulled the sheet away revealing the large member, unable to hold in her curiosity, which made it all the more embarrassing. After that, it was a blur as they finished their job and covered Harry in his gown as they practically ran away bright red. They didn't know if it came down or not as each didn't look at the other or talk about it with the other for the rest of the day.

Even though the school is a hotbed for inappropriate gossip, including masturbation fantasies of local celebrities. By now you’ve had like five cakes and eaten them too, author.

It took another day for them to shake away their embarrassment as they talked it out and decided that such things happen and that they will happen later as well. It was the first time they saw a male naked, even for Penny, while Padma confessed that she once walked in on a naked Harry but she only saw a glimpse back then. Her remembrance of her first experience made Penny come back to reality as she was hit with the realization that Harry might be in such a state. While Penny was getting awkward, she was mildly aroused as well.

Soon she had to do his front, where she was met with little Harry who was standing to attention. After two days, there were only little burns in the front, which helped in quickly averting the awkward moment. Penny then quickly said goodbye, hiding her blush as much as possible, as she promised to come by in the evening with the rest of the girls.

Because the last thing a patient needs is rest, right? These students don’t have homework to do, visiting hours are non-existent, and there are no other patients, heck, not even a school nurse in the entire ward. Just move Harry to his private bedroom – it makes no fucking difference. Who knows, maybe he’ll recover from sleeping in a bed since the hospital ward obviously has their patients lie on stone slabs.

Harry was screaming to high heaven all the time to somehow calm his hormones down, while Penny was rubbing the salve on his body. Harry now understood the new Perk's abilities. It was bad, really bad. Most of the times he is with any one of the girls a sexual situation was way too easy to happen. Also considering the fact that he needed the girls to apply the salve for four more days only increased that chance. But then the image of a blushing Penny running out just now came to his mind, "Maybe it won't be that bad," Harry thought as he ventured into finding ways for calming himself in such situations.

“Oh no, I’m constantly horny and visibly aroused, and girls flock around me constantly, all of them indebted and emotionally attached to me. I wonder if I can turn this to my advantage.” Go fuck yourself, Harry.

The evening brought the awkward moments back, this time with all the girls present. They all had blushes on their face, especially Hermione who had it the moment she saw him. Harry then realized Hermione's ability of eidetic memory and that was all he needed to know why she had the most reaction out of the rest of them.

As if the rest would have forgotten seeing his dick?

The next day, Harry was discharged from the infirmary as his bandages on his hands were taken off. Luckily his hands were all healed and they were just as perfect as they were before. The awkward feeling got lesser and lesser as days passed and finally four days passed away without much incident.

Harry was currently outside the Hogwarts castle, reminiscing the days starting from the troll encounter. He had never felt so vulnerable since he received his powers. Unable to use magic made him feel like how he was before he got the Gamer's power, pathetic and weak. He never wanted to feel like that again or be in a situation only to make such stupid mistakes again.

And I bet it will never happen again either. Pretending the protagonist has actual flaws is usually only done once.

Harry looked up at the bright full moon, which coated the castle in its enchanting soft silver light. Its glow seemed to glitter and hum, in regards to the many glimmering stars in its background. Harry raised his hand towards it and said out loud, "ID Create"

(AN

To Dovhachu,

Yes most have levels like you suggested, that is 12 for 2nd year and 17 for 7th year. But for 1st years, they become level 11 after they complete the year, you know sort of starting of growing magically. Like after that they grow in level due to their own studies and all during summer as well. There may be exceptional cases as well.

Once more letting Harry be the only one benefitting from birthday level ups, I see.

For those who could relate, the 'Damsels' in 'Damsels in Distress' include not just Hermione and girls, but the Carrow twins and Irma as well. After all the librarian was also in distress, sorta ;)

Next Chapter - Jingling Bells or Balls?)

Kyrin's A/N : Next chapter has a lot of extras added onto the original.

I dread to imagine what you’ve added, if you thought all that came before needed nothing changed.

------------------------

This chapter was a goddamn chore to get through. The chapter length, the inane pandering to the author’s own kinks, the retread of canon plot, it all tired me immensely. There’s still one chapter left though, and I don’t like to leave things unfinished. Unlike both authors who put their name on this trash.

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